Tape 6, Side A (2017)
I've told you about two of the worst decisions I ever made, and the damage left behind...
and the people who got hurt.
There is one more story to tell... one more bad decision... and this one's all on me.
No... it wasn't the decision to go to the party.
Because how could I have known?
But it was the same night.
That same awful night.
Remember that story I was saving for later?
Well, this is it.
And it's all about you...
How in the hell am I supposed to listen to this?
I think the asshole answer is you put the headphones on, the cassette tape in, and you press play.
That is the asshole answer, isn't it?
Yeah, but it's true.
I can't... be here.
I can't listen here.
Go. Yeah, you're going.
What are you doing?
I need you to drive.
Where do you want to go? Just... anywhere.
Clay, I know you're asking yourself why you're on these tapes.
What could you possibly have done?
What else could have happened the night of Jessica's party?
Well, good luck with your fresh start.
Good luck to you, party animal.
I'm digging this role reversal, by the way.
You got this rebel with a cause thing going on.
Well... that's me.
Jeff's a good influence on you. You think?
I mean, he got you to go to a party.
You've done that before.
I guess I have.
But not this time.
Part of me was saying, "Ask me again."
Well, um... happy homeworking.
If you'll excuse me, ma'am, this rebel is going to tear out into the night on his sweet ride.
- But part of me was saying, "Don't go." Onward!
Not even for Clay.
I should have listened to that part of me.
See, I never told you, Clay, but I've always admired you.
You are who you are, and you don't care.
And I always cared what other people thought of me, as much as I acted like I didn't.
Is that a boy/girl thing, or a Clay/Hannah thing?
Well, don't you look nice.
Off to the party?
Uh, is that still okay?
No, of course.
It just started drizzling. You sure you don't want a ride?
Of the few things in life I am sure of, that is one of them.
Can I get you your rain poncho?
I'm gonna let you guess the answer.
It's getting colder. I've got my hoodie. Bye, Mom.
Call me if you need a ride!
Don't do any hard drugs!
Or any drugs.
I bet you also wish you'd never gone to Jessica's.
Is the party over?
The party hasn't started.
No one's going to be here for another hour.
But I thought... I heard it started at seven?
And, A, it's 6:55, and, B, seven really means nine.
Oh, right. I'll come back.
No, no, stay. You can help.
Do you know how to tap a keg?
Every guy's like, let's get a keg, and when it's time to tap it...
I told you it was the wrong kind of tap.
I got this! Everybody settle!
I don't really know how to... Relax.
You can do snacks.
Is there any special order that you want?
Mixed? All in separate bowls?
Certain things mixed?
Make a choice, Clay.
Dude. You came.
What's up, Jeff? I've actually been here for awhile.
You've come a long way, Clay.
I think our work together... you've made some real progress.
I bet you wish you hadn't invited me.
What? Who do you mean?
Oh. Hey, Alex, what's up?
It's a party, so I'm pretending to have fun.
No, I'm actually here as part of my ongoing plan.
Gonna hang around Jessica enough that she gets annoyed and falls back in love with me.
I feel there's a logic flaw in that plan.
It's love, it's not logic.
Cool, Hannah came.
Now we can annoy Jessica together.
Uh, I have to leave.
Hey, hey, hey.
Slow down, man, where you going?
I just, I gotta get up really early.
Dude, Hannah's here.
She is? That's cool. Hope she has a nice time.
You need to go in there and talk to her.
She's talking to someone else. She's busy.
That's your cue, man.
That's your cue to cut in.
Take a swing. A swing?
You've got a fat slider in your sweet spot.
You've got to swing the bat through the strike zone and knock it out.
See, I'm aware those are baseball terms.
If I'm interpreting correctly, given my batting average, I would wind up with a strikeout and not a home run.
Very good use of an extended metaphor.
Oh, fuck me, Jensen!
Get the hell in there, man!
Now, okay? Now or I'm gonna kick your ass.
You'd never kick my ass.
Don't tempt me.
How am I tempting you? Go talk to her, man.
You're the reason she came.
I don't know that.
I think you do.
Going in. Going in.
I'd talked to you a million times before, but... tonight was different, and...
I didn't know what to say to you.
But when you finally came up to me... you knew just how to break the ice.
You're there on the couch.
So I am.
I mean, you... you came after all.
I was feeling rebellious.
Ah. So you finished your homework.
That would sort of be antithetical to the whole...
Right, right. Yeah.
Uh, do you...
Do you want a drink?
I believe you promised me a drink, in fact.
And a ride on your bike.
I did, didn't I?
Which is a pretty big deal.
I don't let just anybody ride my bike.
Well, I look forward to it.
Yeah, me too.
I actually didn't ride my bike here, so we can't do that.
So, but I'll go get the drinks.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna come with you if it's cool.
I was so nervous that night, but you made it seem so...
Is she kidding me?
I was shitting myself.
But she's not telling the truth about the way things happened.
She's telling her truth.
Why do you always act like you know?
Because I do.
From the tapes, I know her truth.
So, why do you have to be here, knowing?
'Cause I don't know what your truth is.
And I don't know what's gonna happen when you find out hers.
Hi, Clay, it's Mom.
Yeah, I just said that.
So you did. Yeah. Uh...
So how was day one of your suspension?
Did you manage to be productive?
Yeah, no, definitely.
I did some research.
Listen, you and your dad are on your own for dinner.
Something came up here.
Something... with Hannah's case?
I'll tell you later if I can.
There's leftover chicken in the fridge, and roast beef for sandwiches.
Lainie. Gary Bolan returning your call.
Listen, I have to go, so be in touch with your dad, okay?
Sure. - Bye.
Listen, the Bakers considered our offer to settle.
And they've turned it down.
They want to move forward with the trial.
What happened? Was it the money?
Not enough? No.
Lainie Jensen thinks it's this lawyer they got.
Thinks they could win.
Based off of...?
I mean, what do they have? Hell if I know.
Have we found a smoking gun?
School magazine. The graffiti.
Lainie's concerned that we painted over it, says it could be construed as destroying evidence.
I'm not gonna let the school go down at the hands of whatever disturbed sophomore latched onto the term "Cum Dumpster."
And I'm not gonna let them pin this on our staff or on you and Jane and me.
So... you think that this is where they're headed?
Apparently, they've expedited the subpoenas.
For the kids? For all of us.
You knew this was coming.
I mean, I suppose I hoped that... it wouldn't get this far.
Those kids, they've been through a lot.
They're about to go through some more.
So, are there any dinner plans happening, or...?
Good idea. Get me a beer.
If you're hungry, babe, I'll give you a twenty, you can go get us a pizza.
We could have an actual delivery boy come and bring it.
They cut my cell phone service off again.
The fuck. Get your dirty ass feet off my notebook, man.
What, you mean this notebook?
Don't you ever touch me. Get out of my house.
It's not your house. You think it's yours?
You pay rent? Do you?
Jesus, you're like two little boys. Put your dicks away.
I want him out.
Either he goes or I go.
I'll get you a beer.
Don't fuck with me, kid.
Hey, it's me. Uh...
Listen, I can't stay at my house tonight.
Just call me back, okay?
Call me back.
Who's on the phone?
What are we gonna do next?
Hmm. I don't know. You tell me.
You're the woman with the taste for danger.
Damn, Justin, get in there!
Oh! Uh... Okay, personal space!
How's the hot tub at your place?
And the beer is cold.
Let's go. Yeah?
So, let's start with the part of the party that I left out.
So, the idea is, you can have a super power, but it has a drawback.
For example, there's the triple take.
You can freeze time when you want for as long as you want, but once you unfreeze everyone else, you're frozen three times as long.
Okay, and you read this in a book?
No, I made it up.
For those real life situations where you wish you had a super power to get you out of?
If you had a super power, what would you want to use it for?
Well, technically, I'm not really in a situation I want to get out of.
Well, what kind of situation are you in, then?
I'm in a party situation.
And if you could use a super power right now, what would you want it to do?
I would make... everyone else disappear.
And then what would we do?
Did he get you? Mostly dry.
Do you wanna maybe go... Say no more.
It's, uh, nice of Jeff to force you to come tonight.
No, he didn't force me. He, uh... strongly recommended it.
Didn't he also strongly recommend you come to the dance?
No, I lost a bet.
So the only time you and I actually ever get to hang out is... because of Jeff?
No, no. I mean...
But it's strictly coincidental.
If it's strictly coincidental, then why is he watching us?
I mean, he does take an interest in my social life.
Uh-huh. So... you tutor him in academics, and he tutors you in...
You two are gonna come over there... and you're gonna play beer pong.
Actually, I'm not really big into sports with balls.
All sports have balls.
Uh, no, actually, they don't.
Oh, they totally don't.
We're gonna leave these kids alone for the rest of the night.
And you're beer-ponging.
Do you want to...
It's, like, easier to talk at work.
Except for all the people who want to watch a movie.
Or eat popcorn. Very annoying.
They should do that somewhere else. Don't you think?
I'm thinking of starting a petition at change.org.
I'm going to contact my Congressperson.
The thing is, I think I'm gonna have to quit working at the Crestmont.
Why? My parents need me to work at the store.
Which kind of sucks, because I really like working at the Crestmont.
I do too.
What I mean is, I like working with you.
Well, if you work at your parents' store, you won't smell like burned popcorn.
Do you want to talk in there?
I've got to stop. You want me to stop the car?
No. Yes! No, no.
What does she say next?
I mean, does she say what she did?
Does she say why?
So, Justin, Zach, Alex, they all heard this?
And Ryan and Tyler?
I'm just like everyone else.
You have more points and more rebounds than Justin.
I don't know why you're not captain.
That's not how they choose captain, Mom.
I don't even want to be captain.
You're the best player.
That's what matters.
He's just going through some stuff.
He'll be back.
So, like you do, you go outside to work things out.
The bouncer gets in between us, and this kid pops him in the face.
He did not. Wow. Yeah.
So, my job's basically done.
I let the bouncer do his work, I go back inside to my beer.
Alex got into something the other day.
Yeah, I saw that.
It was nothing. It was stupid.
Didn't look like nothing.
I've got a family of brawlers, that's what I got here.
Trying to keep you two on the right side of the law.
I'll get that.
Your mom's gonna be glad to see you.
Look, I'm sorry to...
Is it all right if I crash here tonight?
Yeah, I know, but Jessica, Zach... they won't answer my texts, my calls, anything.
Why don't you stay at Bryce's?
I think you know why.
Look, I can sleep in the garage.
No, man, that's weird.
You're not a hobo.
Your parents don't have to know. I can climb to your window.
Alex, who is it?
Hey, Dad, it's um... Justin.
Is it okay if he spends the night? We have some homework we have to do.
Sure. How you doing, Justin? Good, sir.
Good. How's the team this year?
Uh, good. I think we have a shot this year.
Excellent. You eat dinner?
Uh... No, not yet.
Come on in. We got leftovers, we got steak, we got all the fixings.
Have you met Peter before?
Hey, I got Gary's e-mail about the Baker lawsuit.
We might be deposed?
Yeah, the lawyers think it's likely.
Are you concerned about something in particular?
Listen, it might be nothing, but... last year, at the end of the year, we had an anonymous note for me, for the class.
It didn't mention suicide specifically, but it was someone who was despondent.
Now I'm wondering if it was written by Hannah.
Do you have reason to believe it was?
Clay Jensen said it was.
Clay Jensen? When did he say this?
Just a few days ago.
He didn't say why he thought that way, but...
Did you ask him?
I intended to, but he's out for three days.
We should see what we can find out when he gets back, or if you hear anything else from the other kids.
For the lawsuit?
For the lawsuit, for the kids... and, unless someone asks... it might be best not to be sharing this.
Sure, you're right.
Let me know if you hear anything else.
My wife. I'm late again.
Hey, man, you could choke, so...
So, like, don't choke.
This steak is the shit.
Your dad cooks? My mom cooks. My dad, he grills.
It's so fucking good! Yeah.
Where is your mom?
She's at the hospital.
She does four days on, four off.
They're 12-hour shifts.
Jess, what took you so long?
Seriously, Justin, now you're all concerned about what I'm doing?
I'm sorry about today.
Is that Justy?
Are you with Bryce?
What the hell are you doing?
We're hanging out at his place.
Tell him to get over here!
Who else is there? Is anyone else there with you?
Who are you, my dad?
Come meet me at Alex's.
I gotta go, Justin.
Jess, do not hang up.
Hey, what's going on?
We need to go to Bryce's. Can you drive?
I need to throw up. Okay.
I don't have anything to throw up. You need some food.
So I can throw it up? So you can settle the fuck down.
My mother used to say:
"Primero comemos, entonces lo demás."
That means, "first we eat, then we do everything else."
I'll bet she's big on breakfast.
I've got a prosciutto mozzarella with red peppers.
And a plain turkey with a tiny dab of mayo, and an even tinier dab of mustard.
No triple Americano for you?
No, I'll just...
I'll just get some water or something.
Oh, my God. Sit.
I'll get it.
She doesn't do that for anybody.
I'm ready to keep listening. We don't have to waste more time.
Eat your food.
I can't. Don't act like a child. Eat.
Stop talking like my grandpa.
You need to be in the right headspace.
How can I be in the right headspace to find out why I caused a girl to kill herself?
He's working through some shit. I can see that.
He's got existential crisis written on his forehead.
I do not.
There's some truth you don't want to face.
Why did you say that?
I see the future.
You know that. I told you your fortune in 7th grade.
You predicted I wouldn't be 5' 2" forever.
How tall are you now?
- La bruja. That's right.
I got my cards here, if you want a reading.
I'm good. Maybe there's even a message from beyond.
What are you saying?
Take a reading and you'll find out.
Don't mock what you don't know.
I am Catholic. I know all about this mystical bullshit.
First you shuffle.
Is this so I know you're not cheating?
There's no winning or losing.
You shuffle to transfer your energy to the cards.
Now cut the deck.
So, uh... what do the cards say?
This one, nine of wands, but it's reversed, which means you feel the world is against you.
Really? Seems right.
Like accusing people of ratting you out.
I didn't mean to...
The hermit. Also reversed.
You're isolated. Alone.
Big deal. Everybody's alone.
A very un-Clay Jensen thing to say.
Ten of swords.
You keep falling back into the pain of the past.
You can't face your sadness, your fear. You can't move on.
What the hell are you doing?
Page of cups. You're talking about Hannah.
The cards are showing someone struggling inside.
Why are you so pissed at me?
I'm just reading your cards.
I don't get how you're mad at me. You stopped talking to me freshman year.
Really? First day of school, you didn't see me then turn the other way?
Well... I didn't know what to say.
How about, "Hey, Skye, how's it going?"
You just... you changed.
Yeah, so did you.
You used to be cool.
You used to be nice.
We can't all be nice girls like Sheri.
Why talk shit about Hannah? What did she do to you?
Besides ignore me? You were jealous of her.
Why would I be jealous of a dead girl?
What she did was stupid.
You don't know anything about it.
She didn't go through anything different than any of us.
We all get through it. Yeah?
Then what's that?
It's what you do instead of killing yourself.
Suicide is for the weak.
I mean, what a... what a bitch!
Well, she is!
I never heard you use that word before.
She doesn't know what was going on in Hannah's life.
You don't know what's going on in hers.
Would you... you know, shut up, Tony?
I get so sick of your little sayings, and things you point out, acting all wise.
You're like this unhelpful Yoda.
Is that a crack on my height?
Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute.
Unhelpful Yoda. Unhelpful Yoda.
Just let me out. I'm not gonna leave you alone.
I will let you get some air.
I know a place.
Kevin, where have you been?
I've been texting and calling for hours.
I had the ringer off.
What's going on?
You were supposed to relieve the sitter.
I had parent conferences today.
She left the house a mess.
First time in two hours this baby's stopped crying.
I'm afraid to put him down. I'll take him.
If he gets upset again... He won't. Come on, baby.
Come on. All right.
Is he teething?
I don't know, but I've got drool all the way down my back.
I'm sorry about tonight, you know.
But... the pressure is on me at school right now.
You need to find a balance. Take some pressure off of you.
I could lose my job.
You're not gonna lose your job.
How do you know?
Babe, you had no idea that girl was suffering.
You can't blame yourself for what she did.
What if I could?
I know you can't.
Now I'll let you out.
It's fine in here.
I'll be right here if you need me.
She has a rock collection from when she was little.
She used to water them and treat them as pets.
How do you know?
We were friends at the beginning of last year.
It was fun while it lasted.
I didn't know you guys were friends.
She's so... popular.
Yes, thank you, Clay.
Well, no, I mean...
I know what you mean.
Yeah, but she can actually be pretty cool and funny.
I mean, she still has her rocks.
I guess an advantage of pet rocks is that they don't die.
They don't eat too much.
And they don't crap on the floor.
Oh, I'm killing her pets.
What's that one's name?
I think we should name him Stone.
Is that his first name or last name?
His name is Stone Stone.
Stone Stone. Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Your name is Clay.
It is, and I've heard all the jokes. Really?
All the jokes in the universe, ever?
All of them.
I like the name Clay.
I like the name Hannah.
At that moment... everything was perfect.
And for the first time in a long time...
I could imagine a future where I was happy.
How good life could be.
And I know you felt it too.
Yeah. More than okay.
I wanted you to do everything you were doing...
so I don't know why my mind took me everywhere else.
And I thought of every other guy.
Did Justin finger you? I bet you went down on him.
Sometimes it's better to wait.
I mean, you made the hot list.
They said you had the best...
I hear you two like a guy between you.
Did Justin finger you? I bet you went down on him.
- And they all became you. - Sometimes it's better to wait.
Thought you were easy.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
No, just stop, okay?
Did I hurt you?
No, just don't.
I mean, what... what happened?
I thought it was okay.
Hannah, I'm so sorry... Just leave me alone.
Okay, just leave me alone, Clay.
You should just go.
Part of me was saying...
"Please don't leave."
Part of me never wanted to see you again.
You all right? I don't want you here. Get out.
Get the fuck out!
But you walked out the door... like I told you to.
Why did you have to leave?
It was the worst thing ever.
And then it got worse.
your name does not belong on this list.
But you need to be here if I'm going to tell my story.
If I'm going to explain why I did what I did.
Because you aren't every other guy.
You're good and kind... and decent.
And I didn't deserve to be with someone like you.
I never would.
I would have ruined you.
It wasn't you.
It was me... and everything that's happened to me.
You knew. Whoa...
You knew all along. Knew what?
That all of this is my fault.
How did I know that?
I-I just left Hannah. I left her there.
She needed me, and I walked away.
You were doing what she told you to do.
No, I ran.
I was scared. I thought it was something I had done or something I didn't understand, because I'm this fucking loser who doesn't know anything about girls or about life or anything. So all of this is your fault?
I knew I shouldn't have left. And then Bryce raped Jessica.
Hannah saw, then Sheri knocked down the stop sign, then Jeff died, and it all started with me!
I think you gotta get back from that edge.
Why shouldn't I just jump, just let go?
So you can die?
Reunite with Hannah forever? Fuck you, Tony.
You think you could have changed anything?
What does that make you? God?
I should have stayed with Hannah.
She told you to go.
I should've told her, should've said... What?
You think you could have changed any of this?
I could have said...
"I'm not going."
She said, "Get the hell out of here."
No. No, I won't go.
Get out. No.
Get the fuck out!
Not until you tell me what's wrong.
Not until you tell me what's wrong. Leave me alone!
Okay, just leave me alone, Clay.
You should just go.
I thought it was okay.
I don't want you here. Get out.
Hannah... Get the fuck out!
Okay. I'll go.
But tell me what's going on, okay? Tell me what's wrong.
You don't want to be with me.
But I do.
I really do. You know what people will say?
And I don't care.
Because it's easy for you, right?
Because you're not the class slut.
Don't say that. Everybody says it!
I don't say it. Yes, you did.
When you saw that picture!
I didn't believe it.
I was angry for a minute because... because I was jealous of Justin.
And I was mad at you for wanting him and not me.
And I was an asshole, and I'm sorry.
And I can never make it right, I can never say all this to you, but...
I love you.
And I will never hurt you.
I'm not going.
I love you, Hannah.
Why didn't you say this to me when I was alive?
I couldn't tell her.
I couldn't hold her.
I killed Hannah Baker.
Like you said.
I said we all killed Hannah.
How am I supposed to live with that?
Any way you can.
Again and again! Just take the money.
And fucking again.
What? Yeah, that's mine.
That's, like, twice.
This is embarrassing at this point.
You want to rub it in now?
You finally win, once!
I am so fucking rich! Whatever.
About fucking time, you guys.
These cards are getting stale. Come on, sit down.
Jess and I had this thing planned.
No, we don't. We were gonna get late dinner.
Let's go. When did you tell me about dinner?
Was that before or after you walked out on me today?
Justin, sounds like you'd better make it up to her... by losing a few hands. Come on, sit.
All right, well, uh, the game is Texas Hold 'Em.
Five dollar ante, five dollar minimum bet.
Don't worry I got you staked.
Your girlfriend's been playing with my money all night anyway.
Alex, sit down.
No, I'm good.
I hate poker.
No, you have to play. Everybody's playing. Come on.
Jess, what the fuck?
I don't want to fuckin' play cards.
I said your deal!
Jess, I said let's go. Come on. What the fuck, Justin!
We're leaving now. I don't want you hanging out here again.
Don't touch me like that!
Don't you ever touch me like that!
Buddy, calm down. Stay the fuck away from her.
What is your problem, Justin?
Guys, this does not need to happen.
Maybe it does.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here with him?
We're just having fun.
Why the fuck are you here with Bryce?
Why do you care?
Tell her, Justin. Alex.
Tell me why you care. Let's go.
Tell me why you fucking care!
Because he fucking raped you!
I'm not your brother. Stop. Enough.
I should kill you, you son of a bitch!
I should fucking kill you! Let me fucking go!
Let me fucking go!
Let me fucking go!
I hate you.
What the fuck did you just do?
You are the most beautiful woman in this family.
You're not gonna do anything stupid tonight, are you?
You asked earlier about Hannah's case, but I couldn't talk.
The Bakers' lawyer got a judge to fast-track the case.
The school offered a settlement. The Bakers turned it down today.
Things are going to be moving quickly from now on.
Bakers' lawyer will be issuing deposition subpoenas right away.
Got a copy of his list tonight.
A number of your classmates are on it.
So are you.
So I'll have to testify.
It's really just an interview.
And I'll prepare you.
Coach me on what to say?
Prepare you for what kind of questions they'll be asking.
Which will mostly have to do with your relationship with Hannah Baker.
And the more we know before the depo, the easier it will be.
I promise I'll tell you everything...
but not yet.