25th Hour (2002) Script

Look at this. He's alive.

This dog, how you call it, bull pit?

No, pit bull. But that's not a pit bull.

I don't know. I don't know what he is.

I bet he lost somebody some money, though. Give me your gun.

Shooting him? Yeah.

Are you sick in the head?

Look at him. They left him out here to suffer and die like that.

They threw him out the fucking window and kept on driving.

It's terrible. Come. People wait for us.

Come on, they're used to waiting.

Poor little guy. Jesus, I think he broke his hip.

Whoa, shit.

Fuck. He's got a lot of bite left in him, huh?

I think bull pit is not playing with you.

Yeah. No shit.

Come. You want police coming?

Look, they used him like a fucking ashtray.

What a bunch of assholes.

Let's get him in the trunk. What?

Yeah. There's a vet emergency room right over here. Come on, I like this guy.

He tries to bite your face off. He is meat.

You want dog, I buy you nice puppy tomorrow.

What the fuck I want with a puppy, Kostya?

Where you go, Monty? Monty, wait.

I not go near bull pit, Monty.

This thing is disgusting.

I told you. It's not a pit bull.

Look at him. He's a good dog. I can see it in his eyes.

He's a tough little bastard. He wasn't lying down for anybody.

Sometimes I think you very stupid man.

Come on, if we wait much longer he's gonna be dead.

You wanted to shoot him with my gun.

That was a mercy thing.

He's not ready to go yet. He wants to live.

Oh, he tell you this now?

No. But it's like a baby, okay?

They don't bitch and scream like that.

They see the doctor coming with the needle...

It's good for them in the long run.

You have no baby.

I can't even talk to you, Kostya.

Come on, you son of a bitch.

Hey. Will you quit standing there?

Will you fucking help me out here?

Just distract him for me or something.

Go on.

I'm trying to help you, you little prick!

Huh? Come on.

Come on. Quien es mas macho?

Monty es mas macho.

What goes on in your little head?

Little of the tricks, little of the quicks. Boom, bam, he's nabbed!

"Little tricks, little quicks." You are bleeding.

You get bite. Dog's blood.

You gotta learn to relax a little bit. Live a little.

You have hole in neck and blood is coming out.

A little love bite for saving his raggedy ass.

Rule number one. You cannot grab half-dead animals.

We have people waiting for us.

People with money. Ow!

You want to play this cowboy.

No, dogboy, in middle of highway.

Dogboy? That's funny, Kostya.

Yes, funny. You've really mastered the language.

You're bad luck, Monty. You bring bad luck on me.

Always everything that can go wrong go wrong.

It is not just you and me now anymore when we go out.

It's you and me and Doyle. Who's Doyle?

Doyle. Doyle's Law. It's Murphy.

Who is Murphy?

"Who's Murphy?" Who's Doyle? It's Murphy's Law.

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.

Him, yes. Yes, him.

What's up there, Monty? Hey, Doyle.

Easy, Doyle. Easy.

Easy, easy. What do you want, Simon?

I'm... I'm hungry.

I woke up an hour ago, I was hungry.

There's nothing I can do about that. Go up to 110th Street.

110th Street?

Come on, man! I can't go up there.

Put that away.

I... I'm not looking for a mercy pop or anything.

I'm done, Simon.

This morning, I was shaving.

And I cut myself, like, look, four times, man.

Come on, Monty, give me a break, man.

I can't go up to Harlem. Look at me.

The yo's, they'll eat me alive up there.

I'm out of business, Simon.

Take your jones somewhere else. Leave me alone.

Are you afraid that I'm going to nark you out?

You know who I am. It's me.

You're not listening to me. I got touched.

Okay? I'm over. Game over.

Five years I've been coming to you, man.

Five years. Get out of here.

Get the fuck out of here.

Fine. I'm leaving.

There's no need for you to be all nasty about it, all right?

But I'll... I'll remember this.

All right? I'll remember this.

Aw! What's his name? Doyle.

Hi, Doyle.

Excuse me, sir. Can I help you? Hello?

Hello? Sorry, what?

Did you have an appointment with someone?

No, no. I used to go here.

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave and to take the dog with you.

Yeah, okay. We'll just be a minute.

No dogs allowed on the school grounds.

Okay. Okay. I understand.

Check this out. Check this out. He's all right.

Look what a little punk I was.

In the middle with the ball.

I guess you weren't the center.

No. No. I started, though.

Freshman year. I was on the Varsity, point-guard.

Yeah? I still hold the all-time assist record.

No. Marvin Ray broke the record last year.

He did not. He did, too.

Are you sure? I'm positive. I coach the girls' team.

Well, we were undefeated that year.

Then I got kicked off the team for fighting.

The whole thing fell apart. That's too bad.

Listen, you know where Jacob Elinsky is?

He's an old friend of mine.

"Now let us sport us while we may, "And now, like amorous birds of prey, "Rather at once our time devour

"Than languish in his slow-chapt power.

"Let us roll all our strength and all

"Our sweetness up into one ball, "And tear our pleasures with rough strife

"Thorough the iron gates of life

"Thus, though we cannot make our sun

"Stand still, yet we will make him run."


That's good. An excellent reading.

What do people think?

What's going on here?

Luke? Can I go to the bathroom?

No. You went 20 minutes ago. I have a bladder infection.

The poem.

"To His Coy Mistress."

Andrew Marvell.

It's not real deep or anything.

The guy wants to get laid and he's telling her to give it up.

Excuse me. One minute?

Hey. What's going on? Who's that?

Look who's here. It's your buddy.

Sorry to drop in on you. I just wanted to talk to you for a second.

What's going on? Nothing.

What is this you got going on here?

Teaching my class, I guess.

In a circle like that? Yeah.

Oh. That's cool. I like that. Hey, class.


Sorry to interrupt. Little change of plans.

I gotta see my father tonight.

And there's these people that are throwing me kind of a...

Going-away party.

So maybe you and Frank could meet up somewhere, maybe that place with the things that Frank goes to.

Yeah. Okay. And I'll find you later.

Yeah? All right. Of course.

This one's cute, with the red shirt.

I think she's giving me the eye.

How do you do it? I don't know how you do it.

So I'll see you later.

Yeah. Maybe, like, midnight, I think.

Midnight? Midnight's okay. Okay. Yeah? All right.

Okay. Come on, Doyle.

Have a nice day.

Sorry about that.

Oh, Christ.

Do you have a minute?

Sure. Yeah, come on in.

I thought that no students were allowed in the teachers' lounge.

I won't squeal on you.

Yeah. Take a seat.

What can I do for you?

I want to know why I got a B-minus on my paper.

You got what you earned.

Nobody else in that class can write.

And you know it, I know, everyone knows it.

Don't worry about everyone else.

You're not competing with them.

Yeah, but I am. Okay? I am competing with them.

When I apply to colleges, you might have heard of this, they look at these things called grades.

And if your grades aren't good enough then...

No, your grade's gonna be fine.

Vincent Miskella writes a story about his grandmother dying, and you give him an A-plus.

Meanwhile, the night of the funeral, you know where Rhodes Scholar Vince is?

Getting smashed at a basketball party and slapping girls' asses.

What is that? A charity A-plus?

Everyone is always writing about their grandmothers dying.

You know why? It's not because it's so traumatic, it's because it's a guaranteed A-plus.

And you're all sentimental.

Like, "Oh, Vince, that was very powerful, very moving."

No, it wasn't.

You didn't care. I didn't care.

Nobody cared. That's what grandmothers do, they die.

Sometimes guys have a hard time showing their emotions.

So slapping my ass, that's Vincent's way of mourning his dead grandmother?

What did your mother say when you got that?

When I got what?



She said, um, "Where did you get the money for that?"

Oh. And? And what did I say?

Or where did I get the money?

What did you say?

I said he likes me.

Oh. Does he?

No. Why do you care so much?

Just curious.

So, um...

You're not gonna change the grade?

No. I'm not gonna change the grade.

Great. You know what? This was a big waste of my time.

Hold on.

Yeah. Slaughtery.

Yeah. No, I can't talk. Employment number's coming out.

All right. I just... Call you later.

I'm supposed to meet you at...

Hey, Frank. Coming out with us tonight or what?

No, I gotta meet some friends tonight.

Big date, huh? Who's the new bimbo? Can I bang her first?

Yeah, you wish, brother. No, it's more of a going-away party.

Listen, Frank. The other thing. What?

You still holding on to those OEX contracts?

Yeah, you better believe it. Why? You nervous?

I don't like it, Frank. Claims numbers have dropped three weeks straight.

I don't feel comfortable with this.

So if claim numbers drops, everybody thinks employment's gonna be up?

Come on, Sal. Everybody...

Frank, look at me when I talk to you. What?

Everybody's thinking this because it's pretty much always true.

When it rains outside, people get wet.

Right or wrong, Frank?

Not this time, Sal. I got a theory. Look at this.

Oh, good. You've got a theory!

Look, Frank. Fuck you and your theory.

Oh, that's good. Nice. We're in awfully deep here, Frank.

You've got $60 million of the bank's money...

A hundred. Whoa! A hundred fucking million?

What're you two doin'? You want to be part of the unemployment numbers?

Get back to work.

Sal, you knew. They raised my limit to 100.

A week ago. They just raised your limit a week ago, and you're already maxing out? You want me to sit on it?

Is that what you want? First of all, you're not gonna raise your voice to me. That's first off.

You cannot put me, you or this firm in jeopardy by putting $100 million on one idea! Right or wrong?

Come on! Right or wrong. Yeah.


I think we're in for a low number, all right? 140, 135.

I really don't give a shit what you think, Frank? You're becoming a cowboy.

You come in here, you're not even clean shaven, Frank.

Stop playing with this fucking ball and pay attention to me.

You come in here drinking your Red Bullshit, you stink like booze, you're out all night partying, and that's okay.

But when you become a cowboy, that's when I draw the line.

I am still your boss and I am telling you now, sell half those contracts.

Do I make myself clear? Do I make myself clear, Frank?

Do I make myself clear to you? Yeah.

Yes? Good. Have a good day.

And by the way, we're still on for Friday night.

Courtside. Front row. Don't be late.

It's mayhem down here in the floor of the Exchange.

Within moments, the unemployment number's gonna be announced.

Salomon Brothers, along with most of the street, feel the number's gonna be high, around 250,000.

Sallie's looking for a high number. 280,000's their call.

Fuck Salomon Brothers. Fuck Salomon Brothers?

Yeah. Fuck Salomon Brothers. They're hedging their bets, want everybody on their side of the fence.

What's the big deal with the employment number, anyway?

Felon. It's, uh, Phelan.

Whatever. Look, more jobs means fewer people looking for work, means it's harder to find good people to fill those jobs.

Means you gotta raise wages to get them.

Means inflation goes up. You got it?

Yeah. No, I didn't think so.

That's why I'm doing what I'm doing and you're handing out junk mail.

Now, get off my desk. Sorry about that.

You know you're wearing a striped shirt with a striped tie, right?

Yeah, I do it for the ladies...

Do the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion?

Yeah? Go away.

Disappear. Come on.

I'm out of here.

You better hop to, sonny boy.

You know, it's funny. I don't see you picking up the phone to sell those contracts, and I'm pretty sure I just heard your daddy come over here and cut off your allowance.

I'm a little surprised.

You're not going to disobey a direct order, are you?

You know, Marcuse...

Do I come into your bedroom, tell you how to blow your boyfriend?

No. Go away.

Hey, Schultz! Yo?

What are we looking at for that unemployment number?

250, 270, somewhere in there.

Big number!

Hey, Frank. We all right?

We're good.

So who really knows...

The number's coming out.

Get me out, now!

We're goin' for a ride now! Whoo!

Hey, where've you been?

I got up at 7:00 this morning. You were already gone.

Yeah, I just...

I needed to walk around a little, you know?


How long you been sitting on this stoop?

All day.

I've been waiting for you.

It's a beautiful day.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Hey, Mr. Doyle. I missed you this morning.

Montgomery, I want you to talk to me.

About what, Nat?

About how you're feeling.

How do you think I'm feeling?

I'm asking because I don't like to assume.

Well, good. Don't.

What do you want?

I want to be like that girl in the X-Men, the one who can walk through walls.

Go on.

If I can't do that, I don't know, boom... One shot to the head.

Problem solved.

Don't joke about that.

Who says I'm joking?

What're we doing tonight? Before you kill yourself that is.

Uncle Nikolai's throwing me a party down at Bridge.

Figured we'd all head down there.

Oh. Come on. Come on. I have to go. I got no choice, okay?

Might as well try to have some fun.

I thought it was over with those guys.

Yeah, it's almost over.

It's never really over with these guys, but...

That's a nasty habit you have, you know that?

Come take a bath with me.

No, not right now.

Go on. Go ahead.

You can't see me being a... A father?

No. I can see you fathering children.

I couldn't see you raising any.

What, you think I won't raise my own "chalupas?"

I'll raise my own chalupas.

We're definitely not having any kids together if you're gonna be calling them chalupas.

I think we would have very...

Very beautiful babies.

You don't think?

Show me that. What?

No. Oh, no, no, no.

I can't believe you did that. I can't believe... Why? Why?

You've lived in the United States your entire life.

You've been to Puerto Rico twice, on vacation.

I'm very proud of my heritage.

Yeah, but... What does that mean?

So I should get an Irish flag tattooed on my ass just because my grandparents were...

There's not enough room on your skinny, white, flat ass for an Irish flag. Oh? Yeah, well...

Well, between you and me, the kids should be just about right.

Kids? At this rate, we're not having any.

It's probably your mother.


Doyle, cut it out.

Kostya, you have the worst timing ever...

Sorry to bother you, ma'am. Is Montgomery Brogan in?



Montgomery Brogan?

Yeah, that's me.

I'm Agent Flood with the Drug Enforcement Administration.

I can see that. What is all this?

We've got a warrant to search your apartment.

Are you serious?

Go... Go ahead.

Hey, easy, Doyle. I don't see any tags on that dog.

He's inside, he doesn't need tags.

He'd better stay calm, or I'll have the pound come and get him.

Seen too many men bit by these mean bastards.

Doyle! Come on.


Oh. You mind if I have a seat?

No. Be my guest.

Oh, Ms. Riviera? That's your name, right?

I need you to stay right here, ma'am.

Can't have you sneaking around.

You know, this sofa's not very comfortable.

Maybe it's your posture. Posture's very important.

No, it's this... Castro Convertible.

It's very uncomfortable. It's kind of... Kind of lumpy.

You know, I just don't understand it.

It looks like such a nice sofa.

How much did you pay for this sofa, Ms. Riviera?

Maybe it's the padding.

Booya! Could be the padding.


Probably the padding.

Go on, get it over with.


There's something lumpy in here, Mr. Brogan.

You know, it's a good thing I found this.

It's gonna make your sofa so much more comfortable to sit on.


Mr. Brogan, I do believe you're fucked.





Are you okay?

Yeah. This'll be the best night of my life.

Best night of my life.

I just... I've been waiting around all day long.

I know. I know! I just want to know if we can spend any time together? I know.

Could you just talk to me?

Talk to me, okay? We haven't been talking.

This is our last night. No. No, no, no. It's not our last night.

My last night. Not your last night.

You got all kinds of nights.

You got nights with your girlfriends. Going out clubbing.

Sitting at bars, having drinks bought for you by lawyers.

You and me equals our.

This is our last night.

Sit at home watching movies with your mother.

You got all kinds of nights.

Look, I don't understand what you're not understanding.

You know what? I can't do this right now.

Okay, babe? I need you to just be quiet.

Please just be quiet.

I know, but we haven't talked about this at all.

Lately, you can't even look at me in the eye.

I have to go. Meet us at the place in Chinatown.

Where are you going?

I've got to see my father tonight, you know?

Do me a favor. Wear that silver dress tonight. Okay?

You want me to? Yeah. Yeah.

That's how I want to remember you.

Mmm. Very nice, very nice.

Hello, beautiful lady.

Beautiful baby.

You look like Halle Berry, they tell you this? Come back.

I make you half-black, half-Russian baby.

So many beautiful woman. I love this neighborhood.

How much is rent? You can't afford it. Trust me.

What're you doing here? Something is wrong?

No. I'm having the time of my life.

What do you think, you dumb shit?

Uncle Nikolai wants me talking with you.

Just to make sure you come to club tonight.

You know what? You're the third person in two days who said that to me.

What the fuck is going on?

What does he really want? I don't know.

You come all the way up here just to tell me you don't know?

You never heard of a telephone?

But you do not answer my calls.

Uncle wants to make sure that you're tonight at the Bridge.

I'll be there for Christ's sake!

Tell him. I'm bringing some friends. I'm bringing Naturelle.

Monty. Wait. Monty, Please. Why you bring her?

Why wouldn't I?

We have this discussion once before, no?

You get very mad at me.

You know what? Will you stop with that already?

I already told you. It wasn't her.

You know this? Why would she?

Maybe her aunt is illegal alien.

You know, these Mexicans... She's Puerto Rican.

That makes her a citizen of the United States.

That's more than I can say for you.

Maybe the Feds, they bust her...

Feds? You know, you're fucking cracking up, filling my head with this shit. You're crazy.

You ask her?

No, I didn't ask her.


Before you leave, you should know.

See you down there.

Those guys coming back in here yet?

Not much.

Well, you know. Little by little. It was hard on those guys.

I went to elementary school with that guy, Nick.

Remember? Nicky?

Oh. Nick. Yeah, yeah. Good kid.

Place looks good, though. Mmm.

Wanna take your coat off?

No, I was feeling a little cold.

That's a hell of a steak.

Only the best for you, sweetie.

I'll send you cookies every month. Peanut butter, right?

That's it.

I, um... I talked to Sal.

Aw, Dad, come on. See if he can help with anything.

Dad, the guy's been out of the picture for 20 years.

He still knows people. But that's not the point.

I don't want you to get involved.

Okay? I mean it. I'm gonna be all right.

You know, you'll still be a young man when you get out.

I know you don't think about it, but don't start any trouble in there. Keep your head down.

Don't worry about me. Please.

Should never have happened. You wanted money, you could've done anything. Anything you wanted. Doctor, lawyer.

That's all I'm saying. Don't lay that on me.

Don't lay that on me.

When Sal and his crew were squeezing you for the payments, I didn't hear you wishing I was a law school student then.

Not one word from you back then.

Where d'you think that money was coming from? Donald Trump?

That was a mistake. Well, let's just forget it then.

There were lots of mistakes.

I should have stopped drinking when your mother passed...

Oh, please. Please, don't do this.

An 11 -year-old boy with a dead mother and a drunk father.

Jeez, Pop. I mean, you know, I got no one to blame but myself. Stop. Stop.

It wasn't you, Pop.

I'm gonna take a leak.

Yeah, fuck you, too.

Fuck me? Fuck you.

Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it.

No, no, no.

Fuck the panhandlers grubbing for money, smiling at me behind my back.

Fuck the squeegee men, dirtying up the clean windshield of my car.

Get a fucking job!

Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis, bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming outta their pores, stinking up my day.

Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down!

...getting one of those operations that elongate your penis.

Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped-up biceps.

Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jiggling their dicks on my Channel 35!

Fuck the Korean grocers, with their pyramids of overpriced fruit, and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic.

Ten years in the country, still no speak-ee English.

Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach.

Mobster thugs sitting in cafes, sipping tea in little glasses.

Sugar cubes between their teeth.

Wheeling, and dealing, and scheming.

Go back where you fucking came from!

Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim, strolling up and down 47th Street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff, selling South African apartheid diamonds.

Come on. Your wife deserves this.

Fuck the Wall Street brokers, self-styled masters of the universe, Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe motherfuckers figuring out new ways to rob hard-working people blind.

Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life.

You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit?

Give me a fucking break!

Tyco. ImClone. Adelphia. WorldCom.

Fuck the Puerto Ricans, 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls.

Worst fucking parade in the city.

And don't even get me started on the dumb-in-the-cans

'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good.

Who's this fucking guy? Get the fuck outta here!

Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their Pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions.

Swinging their Jason Giambi Louisville Slugger baseball bats, trying to audition for The Sopranos!

Fucking crack your fucking head open!

Bensonhurst! Bensonhurst!

Taxi! Taxi!

Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermès scarves, and $50 Balducci's artichokes. Taxi! Taxi!

Overfed faces getting pulled, lifted and stretched all taut and shiny.

You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!


Fuck the uptown brothers.

They never pass the ball, they don't wanna play defense, they take five steps on every lay-up to the hoop, then they wanna turn around and blame everything on the white man.

We're not giving it up.

Slavery ended 137 years ago. Move the fuck on!

Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus-violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence.

You betray our trust!

Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants.

Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil.

And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy.

A day on the cross, a weekend in hell and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity.

Try seven years in fucking Otisville, J.

Fuck Osama bin Laden, al-Qaeda, and backward-assed cave-dwelling fundamentalist assholes everywhere.

On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your 72 whores roasting in a jet-fuelled fire in hell.

You towel-headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass!

"I notice how many of what I once thought

"were evidences of repression...

Fuck Jacob Elinsky. "...sexual or otherwise."

Whining malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.

Fuck Naturelle Riviera.

I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back.

Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.

Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar, sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.

Let's go, Yankees!

Fuck this whole city and everyone in it.

From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue.

From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho.

From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park Slope, to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it.

Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fucking ash.

Then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.


No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan.

You had it all and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!

What do you think of Naturelle? She's a good girl.

Your mother would've liked her. Yeah, but do you trust her?

Do I trust her? Mmm-hmm.

Why do I have to trust her? You think I can trust her?

Where are you going with this? I don't know. People are saying weird things. I'm hearing stuff around.

Like, maybe she was the one that made the phone call on me.

Why would she do a thing like that?

Maybe they got to her, you know.

It happens. They find something, put the screws on you...

The girl loves you, Monty. I can't believe she would betray you.

I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, everything's gotten so strange, Pop.

I look at these people around me, and I'm thinking, these are my friends?

I don't even know these people. And Naturelle, even.

Do I really know her? I don't know.

It's all...

The only people I trust are you, Jacob and Frank.

The guys I grew up with. I miss those boys.

I know.

I'm supposed to be meeting them. They're waiting for me.

I oughta get going. What about your food?

I can't. Okay. I'll see you in the morning.

No. No, why? I'm taking the bus up.

Forget about the bus. I'll drive you. Take half as long.

Take this.

They'll let you keep it.

When you was a little kid, you used to sleep in that fireman's helmet.

You wanted to be just like your daddy.

I ever tell you about the fights we had naming you?

Yeah, you wanted to name me James.

James Brogan Junior. Good strong name.

Nah, your mother thought it was too borin' for you.

She liked Montgomery Clift. Loved him!

A Place in the Sun. Her favorite movie.

I kept saying, "Montgomery Clift? Look what happened to that poor fuck.

"Died way too young. Bad luck."

Bad luck.

I'm gonna go. Okay?

I'll see you soon, Pop.


He'll be working for me. I'll have his job.

Listen, I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow.


How you doing, brother? Hey.

Good to see you. How you doing?

Good. Come on in.

Want a beer? Yeah.


There you go. Cheers. Thanks.

Jesus Christ!


New York Times says the air's bad down here.

Oh, yeah? Fuck the Times!

I read the Post.

EPA says it's fine.

Somebody's lying.


You gonna move? Fuck that, man!

As much good money as I paid for this place?

Hell, no.

Tell you what, bin Laden could drop another one right next door, I ain't moving.

What do we say to him?

We say nothing.

He's going to hell for seven years.

What do we do, wish him luck?

Just get him drunk.

Make sure he has one last good night.

That's it. So you're up for this?


I don't even know why he invited me.

What are you talking about, man?

We hardly ever see each other anymore.

You and I are his friends from the past.

Yeah, like his friends from the present have done him much good!

I just... Just can't believe he's going away for seven years.

Someone turns him in and...

Oh, don't feed me that shit!

What shit? Come on, Jake.

Don't feed me that bullshit.

Yeah, he got caught. But hello, Monty's a fucking drug dealer!


What, are you driving a vintage Super Bee?

No. No. He is.

Yeah. Paid for by the misery of other people.

He got caught. He's gonna get locked up.

I tell you something else.

You two are my best friends in the whole world, I love him like a brother, but he fucking deserves it.

He deserves it.

What's he planning to do with Doyle?

How the fuck should I know?

Maybe leave him with Naturelle or something.

They should at least let him take Doyle with him.


Let him take Doyle. He wouldn't be so lonely.

You can't take a fucking dog to the hoosegow, Jake.

I'm just saying, it'd be kind of nice if he could.

Yeah. It'd be nice.

Monty's tough. I think he'll be okay.

If it were me, I'd never last a day. But Monty, he's different.

Oh, yeah? You believe that? Yeah.

You don't fucking get it, do you? What don't I get?

You want the simple version, Jake?

Guys who look like Monty don't do well in prison, right?

Now he's got three choices. None of them are good.

One, he can run. Two, catch the bullet train.

Bullet train? I'm not saying what he's gonna do, I'm saying what his choices are.

His third choice is he goes to prison, that's it.

Yeah, and that's what he's gonna do.

He'll go, and I'll see him when he gets out.

Maybe. I'll tell you what.

After tonight, it's bye-bye, Monty.

What does that mean?

Man, if he runs, he's gone. He ain't coming home.

He pulls the trigger, they close the casket, he's gone.

They lock him away, he's gone. You'll never see him again.

I'll see him again. You won't.

No, I'll visit him up there, and I'll see him when he gets out.

You know what? This is such horse-shit.

This is so much like you, Jake.

You're not gonna see him... Like me?

Yeah. Exactly. You will never see him again.

You think you're gonna kick back with some beers, reminisce?

Old times, you're still gonna be friends.

It's over after tonight, Jake. Wake the fuck up.

Let her go.

That's a good-looking girl you got there. Them Spanish broads.


That's a scary look.


You see the look he gave me?

Naturelle Riviera.

What a name. You see the rack on that girl?

You know what? Take another angle, man.

You can't fucking touch her.

No, no, no.

You're missing the point.

She touched you. You're lying.

Am I? Yeah.

Aw. That's sweet. You really trust her.

All I know is she's walking away.

Yeah. We just signed her release.

Probably having a big party tonight over at Jimmy's Bronx Cafe.

Sure, why not?

Big celebration. She's got that whole fancy apartment to herself now.

What? You thought she was with you for your looks?


Girl saw a pot of honey and she licked it clean.

Yeah. She's a real smart girl.

Now you, on the other hand...

You're supposed to be smart.

Got yourself a scholarship to a fancy private school, huh?

Not bad for a punk from Bay Ridge.

Yeah, but then you go and get yourself thrown out for dealing weed to some rich kids.

What up with that?

You know what happens to pretty boys like you in prison?

They're gonna love you.

Yeah, maybe.

But then again, maybe not.

Jeez, Your Honor, you know, what can I say?

I messed up. You know, my mother died.

I was so worried about my father, I needed to help him out.

My head was a little turned around.

I got hooked in with the wrong people and I made a big mistake.

I really did, but... It was my first time.

I'm sorry. It will never, ever happen again.

Time served. Probation.

You don't read the papers much, do you, smart guy?

In New York, we've got a wonderful thing called the Rockefeller Laws.

Let me educate you. You had a kilo in your sofa.

That kind of weight makes it an A-I Felony.

15 years to life minimum, first offense.

Now, with that much spread in the sentencing guidelines, the judges take their cues from the prosecutors.

So if Mister Prosecutor's wife busted his chops that morning, you're fucked.

You're gone for good.

If you get lucky, really lucky, let's say he got some good trim the night before, maybe he'll plead you off to an A-II.

But that's still three to eight for first time. Minimum.

How much of that stretch you pull is all up to the mood of the prosecutor.

And he's going to ask us, did he play ball?


Why don't you tell us about your friend Nikolai?

Let us make it easy on you.

Can I ask you one question?


When you have your dick in his mouth, does he just keep talking like that?

'Cause it seems to me he just never shuts up. And I'm...

I'm just curious. Does that get annoying?

You're fucking a guy in the mouth and he just won't shut up?

Look here, you vanilla motherfucker, when you're upstate taking it in the culo, by a bunch of guys calling you Shirley, you'll only have yourself and Governor Rockefeller to thank for the privilege.

Let's get the hell outta here.

Tell the US Attorney we got a hard-ass.

You need a girlfriend. I need a girlfriend?

Wait a minute. When was the last time you had a girlfriend?

All right? When was the last time you got laid?

I've got prospects.

Yeah, you got prospects. I do.

You know what?

You're in the 62nd percentile, that's what you are.

What is that? Yeah. The 62nd percentile?

That's you. That's where you rate.

All the bachelors in New York, we're all competing for the same women.

Well, the straight bachelors.

And I'm in the 62nd percentile? Yes, sir.

So, in other words I'm better than 62% of the New York bachelors.

Well, you're rated higher than them, yeah.

But worse than, what, 38%?

37. No 100th percentile. How did you come up with 62?

There's a whole science to figuring it out.

There's a science to figuring it out?

Well, it sounds very scientific.

And, if I may inquire, what's your rating?

Funny you should ask. I happen to fall right in the 99th percentile.

Of course.

Who came up with the ratings?

I did.

You came up with the ratings? And you get a 99.

That's very interesting. Yeah?

What are these based on?

It's just a system. I mean, that's your rating.

I mean... I'm not saying you're a bad person, Jake.

No, you're just saying I'm a bad bachelor.

No. You... No. You're a better-than-average bachelor.

What are the criteria?

First, money. You have none.

Trust funds don't count for shit because it's a red flag that says Mommy and Daddy could turn off the cash flow one day.

So that right there keeps you out of the top 10%.

10% of the gold-diggers?

10% period.

Two, you got chronic bad breath.

No offense, but most women won't stick with a guy with stank breath.

Fuck you.

You don't have to get so annoyed, all right?

I am annoyed. What puts you in the 99th percentile?

That's what I wanna know.

Okay. Well, first of all, I, um...

What... Besides your salary, all the money you make.

All right.

I happen to be blessed with a very big dick.

Genetics, man.

Doesn't dyeing your hair drop you down a few places?

No. Not at all. It would only bother women if it bothered me.

Going gray does bother you. No, it doesn't.

Of course it does.

If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't smear that goop all over your scalp 10 billion times a day.

Hair's a non-issue, Jake.

Yeah, well, are table manners an issue?

That silver thing to the left of your plate, that's called a fork.

You know, when people eat rice, they use chopsticks or a fork.

Grown people don't eat fried rice with their bare hands.

You don't know how to behave.

You busting my balls on the way I eat?

You spend the whole week figuring out how to defraud foreign governments, or whatever you do.

And then you get out of there and you go out to this strange world outside your office called reality and you don't know how to behave.

Oh, yeah? I rest my case.

You wanna tell me about reality?

Jacob, you're a rich Jewish kid from the Upper East Side who's ashamed of his wealth.

You walk around unhappy 24/7, tryin' to make up for the fact you were born privileged.

Fuck that! You know what?

That's just some knee-jerk liberalism bullshit, man.

You call that reality?

So what's Monty?

Let's see.

Monty's going to prison. He's a donut. Big fat zero.

Yo. Let's not go to practice.

Just today.

So don't go. Let's go to my house.

Yeah! Come on, Nat. Let's go.

My mother won't be home till late either. And there's food.

Good. 'Cause I ain't got no money. Peter's home.

So? What's that?

Nothing, I don't care. You don't care, Nat?

What do you mean now? Yeah, right!

You know you likeded him, forever. I never likeded him.

You always tryin' to hook us up because you want me to be your sister-in-law but that ain't never happen.

Yeah, that would be nice. I wouldn't mind.

But don't front like you don't likeded him.

Nat, please, okay.

Every day you come to my house. "Peter, walk me home."

Every day? What kind of bullshit is that?

What's up, Simon? Monty, how you doin'? Good. Good.

Good to see you, man. Good to see you.

What's that? It's a new guy.

He's golden. He's good.

No, you know what I told you about that.

He's big, big. Like, beep-beep!

Back up the truck. You know what I'm saying?

All right, Simon. I'll handle my business, all right?

Just trying to help. All right, take it easy.

When did he break up with her?

Like, a month ago.

But she don't stop. She calls the house.

She calls, she hangs up. "Please, please."

Did he break up with her or she broke up with him?

He broke up with her though or she broke up with him?

Excuse me.

Why doesn't he... Excuse me. You got a light?

What? Can I borrow your lighter for a second?

Thanks a lot.

What's he doing? He's loco.

Yo, I've met you before, haven't I?

Yeah, you do look familiar to me. How do I know you?

Yeah. You were in my brother's class.

Pete. Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I know who you are.

You know who I am. Come on, let's go. We got practice.

I'll catch up. Yup.

Yeah, all right. Whatever. You stupid...

What you got practice for? Basketball.

Seriously? You play? Come on!

What are you, guard? Three spot.

You play small forward? No shit.

That means you're strong and quick.

I play the one. Point.

You know, you skip too many of these things, they'll give you the boot for real.

I just wanted to finish my cigarette.

Funny, I don't know...

I wouldn't have made you for a ball player, you know?

You look more like a...

Like a runner. Like a track star.

Where you from?

No, I mean... You from uptown?

Are you on a scholarship?

What? I can't be from Riverdale?

You can be from wherever you want. Just curious.

I didn't mean nothing. I was just... I was on scholarship too.

It's a good thing. You're lucky.

What's your name? Nat? Natalie?

Naturelle. Naturelle? You serious?

Naturelle? Wow, I like that.

How old are you? 18.

Oh, you're 18?

Yeah, why? 'Cause it's not every day I meet a girl as pretty as you, plays the three spot. That's deadly.

How old are you? I'm old enough to have to ask.

Then you're too old to be hanging out in the playground.

I wasn't hanging out. I was passing by.

What if I was 17?

I might shorten the conversation a little. But you're not, you're 18.

So we got no problem.

What do you say I come and see you play sometime?

Seriously. I'd like to.

Maybe. Maybe?

I'll be the one right behind the bench yelling, "Get back on D!"

See you.

Hey. I want you to meet somebody.

Who's that?

She's just the girl for you.

Jody. Are you back there?

Hey, baby. How you doin'? Hi, sweetie.

Mmm. Hi.

Hi. Is this your little brother, Frank? He's a cutie.

Don't bother with me. I'm in the 62nd percentile.

Oh, that's probably 'cause you don't work on Wall Street.

The scale is skewed to the money thing.

Everybody knows about this? Everybody knows.

Everybody at this bar.

You see that ass? She's beautiful.



One of the guys at school, this biology teacher, Terry...

Mmm? Did you ever meet Terry?

No, I don't think so.

Anyway, he, uh, he really likes this girl.

A student? A student. Yeah.

A junior. Oh, man.

I mean, the girl's 16.

17, maybe. I don't know.

I mean, she's not real pretty.

Um... Not in the, uh, classical sense.

But she...

I don't know. She's got something.

And I told him.

I told Terry he ought to just forget about it, you know?

But he's kind of obsessing. And it's kind of scary...


The way he talks about it. But he's like.

"Five years from now, she'll almost be out of college, "and I'll be 36, you know and...

"You know? Nothing wrong with that."

You haven't fucked her yet, have you? Have you?

No, I'm sorry. Were you listening to what I just said?

No, I haven't fucked her. Of course.

That's good. Because, man, big mistake.

Uh... I mean, I am not a pervert.

Do you know what a man should never ask in a Victoria's Secret shop, Jake?


"Does this come in children's sizes?" Think about that.

What's that supposed to mean? It's literal. It's a joke.

It's literal? You know what?

Why do we always have to do this? It's a sick joke.

Why can't we just sit down and you know, just shut the fuck up, have a beer, a drink...

What's the matter with you? Francis Xavier Slaughtery.

Hey, baby.

How are you, Naturelle?

Nice to see you. You, too.

Hi. How you doing, Jake? Hi. Nat.

You look fantastic.

There you go. Thank you.

What are you boys up to?

Frank's just flirting with the bartender. Oh, yeah?

What's the verdict?

Guilty of looking good.

She's just tits, Francis.

Oh, yeah? Did you see her ass?

Girl's got a fine ass, and she's oozing sex appeal.

Yeah, she's oozing somethin'.

See, that right there, that is so typical.

That's what I'm talking about, Jake.

Why is it that a woman walks in the room with great tits, every other woman in the joint says that she's a slut?

Why is that?

I have great tits. I'm not a slut.

Says you. Another thing...


Listen to this. When I call a girl and I say, "We're gonna meet for dinner at this particular place," why can't I get off the phone for half an hour? That's a sickness.

You guys have a sickness.

And tell me this. Please explain this to me.

Why is it that women feel the need to cry after having great sex?

Oh? Yeah. Why is that?

What is up with that, all right?

Oh, my God.

What? Are you serious?

Yes. Well, it's like, it's a... No, it's a joy thing. It's not...

Oh, please! Forget the...

You're just a sad fuck, Francis.

Looks like you've been demoted from the 99th percentile.

Yeah, thanks, Jake. You should have been here earlier.

You missed a great story about Jake's imaginary friend.

Okay. So, where's your man?

What, like he's ever on time?

Better be tomorrow.

How's his dad doing?

He looks like he's aged 20 years in the past couple months.

That's too bad.

Come on, come on, we gotta keep this upbeat.

Make sure he has a good night tonight. All right.

Why don't you give us some more sex tips? That'll cheer things up.

Yeah. Touché.

Where's the little girl's room?

Right over there. Thank you.

I know she cries after having sex.

I'd bet good money on that shit.

You'd like to know, wouldn't you?

Set 'em up for the Dead End Kids.

Hey. Hey.

Been waiting long? No. We got here early.

Naturelle? Bathroom.

Hey, these are on me.

Cheers. Thank you, Jody. Thanks.

You guys ought to come by Sunday for my birthday party.


Thanks, Jody. Oh...

You don't have to come. I was just saying.

No, thanks. Thank you. Yeah.

Fuck Sunday. Fuck Sunday.

The whole city came out to say goodbye.

You got a lot of young fans. Yeah.

I think we're the oldest people here.


This is my guy.

How you doing, big man? It's the man. The man's arrived.

I'm coming and going at the same time.

Shit, seven years, man. That shit ain't no joke.

That's nervous, man. That's the word.

Damn, you all right?

Trying not to think about it, you know?

What is this? What's goin' on here?

That's the legendary DJ Dusk, man. That's my man from Fort Greene.

He's nice. 17 years old, man.

Seventeen? That muthafucka's 17!

But he gets the girls jumping, man. And don't worry about the crowd.

VIP set up for y'all. Don't worry. These are my people.

Here, these guys. Do you want us coming in here?

No, man, going through the back. And the door will be open.

Don't worry about that. Thank you.

Hey, listen up.

Don't lose your temper until it's time to lose your temper.

You hear me?

Take care. I'll catch you on the other side.

I'll see you when I see you.

Hey, Elinsky!

Mr. Elinsky. Oh, my God!

What are you doing? I didn't know you ever left the school.

I thought that you had, like, a bed down in the boiler room or something.

Um, Mary D'Annunzio.

Mary "B-minus" D'Annunzio, that's me.

Uh... I'm kidding. It's not a big deal.

No. It's okay. I... I'm, I'm here with friends. So I have to go...

The guy who came to class today?

He knows people, right? I mean...

So, do you think he could get us in?

No. I don't think he...

You know, they're not letting anyone in right now.

They say it's already too crowded.

But I have to get in there. I mean, I have to.

Are you a fan of Dusk? Yeah, sure.

He's the absolute truth, right? I mean, he is so truth.

I can't believe that you're into Dusk.

I mean, no offense, but, like, I thought that you'd be more into show tunes or Barry Manilow or...

No, I... No, I think Dusk is very good.

Actually, I prefer his earlier work...

Hey, Jake! His earlier work?

Jake! Yeah.

What're you doin'? I'm...

This guy, he's holding the door... Okay.

We're together. Let's go.

You're the guy with the dog, right?

You again. Yeah. Isn't it past your bedtime?

Oh, no, I'm with Jake. We're lovers.

Lovers? Really? She's kidding.

Well, I mean, come on in.

There's plenty of room for lovers.

Well, I'm here with three friends. Can they come, too?

Girls? No.

Mary, please.

Are you out of your mind? You can't take a bunch of guys in.

Let's go, let's go. She can't go in there.

No, it's good, it's good.

Monty! These two. Yeah.

Cool! You know, I've seen pictures of this room.

Like, Daft Punk was in here.

So, um, who are you? Are you someone famous?

Hey, D'Annunzio, what do you say we give it a rest with questions.

Have a little champagne. Okay.

Who's that?

One of Jake's students. What?


Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.


Like that? Yep.

Does anyone want to go dance?

Come on. Dance with me.

No, go ahead. No, go do it. I'll catch up with you.

Sure? Yeah.

Daphne, you got any whiskey? What kind do you want?

Macallan 18. I'll go see if we have some upstairs.

Hold up. I'll come with you.

Back in a flash.

I can't believe you brought my student in here.

Oh, come on. Come on, she's cute.

Yeah. She's cute. She is.

She talks a little bit too much, but she's cute.

You're gonna get me fired. You realize that?

Look, she's gonna tell her friends, and then they're gonna tell their friends and they just keep talking...

What are they gonna say? They say...

You met her in a club, you ran into her, you talked a little bit. Yeah.

Seriously, you haven't done anything wrong yet.

What do you mean, yet? She's hot. She's all over you.

I mean, she'd hop you in a second. Monty.

She's 17. All right? She's my student.

I can't, you know, just touch her...

No, not now, but, you know, in, like, seven months...

She'll be the age Naturelle was when I met her.

Like I said, not yet, you know? Okay.

Okay, look, Jake, I'm kiddin', man. Well, you know...

No, no, I'm giving you a hard time.

You're smart. You're way too smart for that shit.

Really. You've always been smart about that stuff.

I respect that. I really do. I do.

Here. What do you say?

I tell you, one more of these, and I'm, um...

Yeah, I'm pissed.

Hey, listen, make me a toast.

You want me to make you a toast?

Yeah, come on. I'm not gonna see you for a long time.

I want to have a nice memory. Say something nice.



Jesus, Jake. Relax. Don't...

Here, uh... Here's to Doyle.

To Doyle. All right. Your dog now.

No! Yeah. He loves you.

Yeah? He loves you, really, and...

And he needs a home. I'm going away. Yeah, I don't know...

I don't know, I mean, you've seen the size of my apartment. Right?

So what? Doyle's a tough dog. He's seen worse, you know?

He'll learn to live in a small space. He'll survive.

Yeah, what about Nat?

No, no, she's... She's moving in with her mother.

The woman fucking hates him.

And Doyle detests Frank, and my father's allergic, so...

Saving him. Saving him...

I swear to God, the best thing I ever did in my life was save that little son of a bitch.

'Cause every day that he's had since then, that's because of me.

You know what? Will you take him home, and will you give him a home while I'm gone?

I'd be honored.

Yeah? Yeah.


This joint is jumping, boy.

It's a smorgasbord of girlies here tonight.

And you're the talent scout, huh?

You bet, how you guys doing?

Good. Good?

So who's that little tart with you, Jake?

My student. Hot student.


No! Not the student?

"Terry's" friend, the student?

You know what? Remind me never to tell you anything.

Okay, listen. Leave him alone.

This is the only honest man in the room. He's a...

He's doing noble work. All right. All right.

Party begins without me?

Yeah, it started without you, you fat Russian fuck.

Fat Ukrainian fuck!

Yeah, there's a difference?

Monty, my friend, you here long? Not long.

You open shampanskoe without me! The clock's ticking, Kostya!

I don't have all the time in the world.

Hello, Frank.

How you doing, Konstantine? Kostya, please. Kostya.

How you doing, brother? I am good.

I am better when our friend comes back to us, no? Jason, yes?

Jacob. My shampanskoe, you like?

It's okay.

Monty, I have beautiful woman. Very nice.

Yeah, well, I'm not really in the mood for that. I got a nice girl...

I know, I know. Tonight is special night.

Last night as free man.

I pick her out special, just for you.

The last girl that you picked out special for me had three teeth and they were all in the back.

Funny you should say that.

Why? Why is it funny I should say that?

What you say, it was funny.

Kostya, you can't... When you... It's an expression.

If you say that... It's a euphemism, right?

Can you explain this? You're the English teacher.


I think what he means, Kostya, is that when you say, "Funny you should say that," that means that it reminds you of a funny story.

Exactly. No, no, no.

It was funny what you say.

"Funny you should say that."

It still makes no fucking sense.

This is what I deal with.

This is what I was talking about.

I'm with you. Perfectly clear, buddy.

Come. You see her. I don't think so.

Naturelle, she's dancing right out here.

We go quick. You must see this bitch.

Why don't you just find some nice girls for my friends here?

Frank? No, I'm good.

I'm fine.

Let's just go down. Come with me.

No, no. Forget that.

I gotta talk to you for, like, five minutes. All right.

You want me to stay here? Yeah, you...

Someone's gotta look out for Naturelle and, you know, your field trip.

Should I tell Nat you're having sex with prostitutes?

No, don't say this! Tell her whatever you want.

Just don't go away, all right?

Hang out a minute and, look, we'll go uptown and get Doyle.

So, what time you want to hook up?

I get off at 4:00.

Are we goin' to the Private Room?

Of course, the Private Room.

What's happening, Monty?

I gotta talk to Frank for five minutes.

Just, I'll meet you down there.

After girl, Uncle Nikolai wants talk with you.

I know, I know, Kostya. Give me five minutes.

Remember, they're waiting.

I know they're waiting. Give me five fucking minutes.


She looks good in silver. Yeah.

You know, Naturelle... I've told you this, right?

What? She's the only girl I've ever kept fantasizing about after I'd slept with her.

Is that normal? That's a pretty good kind of normal.

My ace deuce. Hey, fellas.

Bid's tomorrow, huh? That's right.

Nothing but a catnap. Stay cool, brother.


How you doin', bro? You all right?

Six months, you know? Come on, now.

Six months before I got pinched, I was gonna come to you with the loot.

"Put me in some stocks, put me in some mutuals."

Don't do this.

"I'm gonna kick back, watch my coin multiply, "we're gonna get rich together." Monty, you can't...

And I just thought, "Oh, you know, "I'll freaking take on a little more to live on."

I got greedy. Greedy. I just fucked myself.

You're gonna wrap yourself around in a twist, you keep thinking about this shit.

That's all I can do. That's all I can do is think about it.

I'm not gonna make it, Frankie. Yes, you will.

There's 1,000 guys up there who are harder than me.

You know, in a room with some junkie that doesn't want to pay me, and Kostya behind me, I'm pretty scary.

Up there, I'm a skinny white boy with no friends.

Those guys are going to use me up and end me.

No, they won't, man.

You know why? Because you're smarter than all of them.

You're gonna get up there, you're gonna keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.

You'll know the names, the whole scenario.

You'll have the place wired in a week. Place is overcrowded.

They got bunk beds lined up in the gymnasium to handle the overflow.

I'm going in a room with 200 other guys, Frank.

So picture this. First night, lights out.

Guards are moving out of the space, looking back over their shoulders, laughing at me.

You are miles from home.

Door closes, boom. I'm on the floor, I got some big guy's knee in my back.

I'm gonna give it a little go, but there will be too many of 'em.

Someone takes a pipe out from under a mattress, starts beating me in the face.

Not to hurt me. Just to knock all my teeth out, so I can give 'em head all night and they don't have to worry about me biting.

Let's say I make it through seven years minus 84 days for good behavior.

What then? What kind of skills do I have?

I can't get a job in the straight world.

And I can't go back to doin' this.

It's 15 years to life for a second pinch. I mean...

I'll be a 38 year-old punked-out ex-con with government-issued dentures.

Thirty-eight is still young.

You're gonna get out, and you and me, we're gonna start somethin' up.

You know, a fucking bar.

I mean, we're two Irish kids from Brooklyn.

Where the fuck would we be without a bar, right?

How could we not have a bar?

Come on, we're gonna have, uh, free hot dogs on Monday Night Football.

You know, we get a, we got an old jukebox in the corner.

And green beer on Saint Paddy's Day. Come on.

You hate green beer, Frank.

You've been working 15 years to get away from green beer.

God, I hate this shit, too. I'm just saying we got options, all right?

I appreciate the thought.

But I don't see it. Man, in seven years you're gonna be running your own show.

I don't see you working with me.

We've known each other since we were three.

Have I ever broken a promise to you? Huh?

Have I ever once broken a promise to you?

Have I ever said I'm gonna be somewhere and not shown up?


I'm gonna be there when you get out.

You hear me? I'm gonna fucking be there.

I know. I know you will. But you're not gonna be there tomorrow.

And it's all about tomorrow.

Listen. I got one idea.

One way I might buy myself a little room to breathe.

I need a big favor from you. Cool.

Jake the snake.

What are you doing? Don't panic.

Nobody here gives a shit.

I give a shit.

I give a shit!

You know what happens if someone sees me?

I beg your pardon, Mr. Elinsky. Are you drunk?

Yeah. And I had some E earlier.

I didn't need to know that.

You know, Naturelle is cool as shit.

She knows everyone who works here, and I love that name, right?

You know, 100% "Naturelle."

All "Naturelle" flavors.

And what's up with her boyfriend? Monty?

It's like he owns this place.

Mary. Mary!

Do you think it would be possible to avoid talking about this at school?

I mean, this whole night?

Do you think it would be possible for you to give me an A for this semester?

Tell me you're joking.

Tell me you're joking. I'm joking.

That's what I love about you, Elinsky.


What? Huh?

What's what you love about me?

Never mind.

Hey, do you think I'm weird?

No, I don't think you're weird.

Are you allowed to stay out this late?

You know, on a school night?

Do you think my mother gives a shit?

She's probably at her boyfriend's, anyway.

I need to sleep.

No. Can't sleep yet.

Dusk is turning it on.


Is there a bathroom in here?

Is there?

Yeah. Yeah?

Where is it?

It's, um, right up the stairs.

Back there.

You need to pee? No.

Hey. Hey.

Can I ask you a favor? Mmm-hmm?

Keep an eye on Monty tonight, would you?

Just try to stick with him.

What's the matter?

He's just acting really strange.

He's going to prison in a couple hours.

How do you want him to act?

I want him to act like he's scared.

Well, he is scared, Naturelle.

Believe me, he's scared.

I just don't want him to hurt himself.

So will you watch him for me?

I don't think he wants me here.

Why? Why wouldn't he want you here?

You see the way he looks at me lately?

It's like he doesn't trust me.

What reason does he have not to trust you?

I'm gonna go uptown, Francis.

So when you see him, just...

Cool. I got it.

Hey. Are you all right?

How could he do this? Huh?

Just throw it all away? I'm his oldest friend.

What did I do to stop it? What did I say to him? Nothing.

Not a word.

You know, when he started selling weed to the kids at Coventry, I didn't say shit.

Everybody's talking about buying from Monty, the whole school. And I knew they were gonna nail him and...

I knew it.

I didn't say a word.

Fucking last 10 years, I've been watching him get deeper and deeper.

And with these friends of his, these fucks who you wouldn't want petting Doyle!

And did I say, "Careful, Monty, you better cool out, man?"

I didn't say shit.

I just sat there and watched him ruin his life.

And you did, too. All right, we both did.

We all did. Monty never listens.


You know how stubborn he is.

Okay? I told Monty he should quit 100 times.

Did you? Was that before or after you moved into his apartment? Huh?

Look, come on, of all nights... Please, not tonight. Just don't start.

What paid for the apartment, Naturelle?

I need a drink.

JD, shot.

Was that before or after he gave you that platinum necklace?

You wanna watch your mouth?

What paid for the Cartier diamond earrings?

The silver dress you're wearing?

Paid in full by the addictions of other people.

Back up. That's what I'm saying.

You two fly down to San Juan. First class, all the way.

What do you think paid for Puerto Rico?

You never been to... You listen to me.

You'd never been to PR in your life before Monty.

You told him to quit?

The hell you did, Naturelle. Back up.

You knew the deal the minute you met him. Come on.

All right, you never had a real job in your whole life.

You've been living off the fat of the land.

You never said a goddamn word.

Who are you to get all righteous with me? Huh?

Did you disown him?

You're his best friend and you never said a thing, but this is my fault?

I'm the evil one.

But I never took his money. Never once. Not a red...

How long you been saving this, huh?

I came over here to talk to my friend Francis.

One minute ago, you were my friend.

Are you drunk? Tell me you've been drinking too much, you don't know what you're saying. You're fucking drunk.

I'm Irish, I can't get drunk.

I know exactly what I'm saying.

Seven years from now, I'll be at the prison gate, you'll be married to money.

Right or wrong? What is wrong with you?

You want me to be the bad guy? Fine.

I'm the bad guy. Are you happy now?

God, Francis.

All I'm saying is you knew where he hid the money.

You knew where he hid the drugs, didn't you?

What the hell are you saying?

What the hell are you saying right now, Francis?

You know exactly what I'm saying.

I told Monty when he first met you, but he wouldn't listen to me.

I told him Naturelle Riviera, she ain't nothing but a spic skank skeezer.

Nat... Move.

Been looking all over for you. Another one?

Here you go. Is she all right?

Can we get out of here?

No. We gotta wait for Monty.

I kissed her.

You what?

My student. I kissed her.

Who you trying to be, R. Kelly?

I kissed my 17-year-old high school student.

Jake. Have a drink. Shut the fuck up.

Excuse me. Could I have a water? Sure.

Fuck that. Hit him. Hit him. Okay.

I don't wanna drink anymore, Frank.

Give him the whiskey. Shut up. Drink.

Montgomery. How's the party?

Nice. Thanks for setting it up.

The first time I went to prison, I was 14 years old.

Skinny little boy. Very afraid.

By the time I came out, I had a beard.

I was a grown man.

I went back to my home town.

I found my mother.

I kissed her and she screamed.

She didn't recognize me.

I have been in three different prisons, Montgomery.

Three different countries.

And you know what I learned?

I learned prison is a bad place to be.

Seven years is a long time.

Some men would do anything to avoid seven years in prison.

Your father is a hard-working man.

Where's his bar?

In Staten Island?

2192, Bay Street.

He drives in from Bay Ridge in a 1986 Jeep Grand Wagoneer.

Should I tell you how many miles he has on the car?


Your father.

I like your father.

A hard-working man.

He's had bad luck.

Everyone in the neighborhood loved your mother. Tak?

Yeah. Everyone said she was a beautiful woman.

I want to help your father.

I could use a man like that. A hard-working man.

A man I could trust.

I could take care of your father.

Do you understand what I mean...

You don't have to do this. You don't...

I never said anything to anybody. Okay.

Leave my father out of it.

I asked you a question, Montgomery.

Yeah, I understand exactly what you mean.

I have a good job for your father.

It'll help him with the money he owes.

No, thank you.

Good weapon.


And reliable. No jams.

Have you ever fired a gun? At someone, I mean.

No. It's a toy for you.

Not toy. Prop. A prop for you, like an actor.

Am I wrong?

With a gun, you feel more dangerous.

I wouldn't know. It's not mine.

I didn't say anything.

I never said anything, Nikolai.

I swear to God.

They came after me to get to you.

I know that, you know that. They tried.

I never said anything.

I believe you, Montgomery.

This is my advice to you.

When you get there, figure it out, who is who.

Find a man nobody's protecting.

A man without friends.

And beat him until his eyes bleed.

Let them think you are a little crazy but respectful, too.

Respectful of the right men.

You're a good-looking boy. It won't be easy for you.

But remember, I was 14 when I first went. Ya vyzhil.

I tattooed "survive" on my hand the night before I went away to prison.

And I did.

We do what we have to do to survive.

Monty, please. Monty! Now we have this other problem.

How many people knew you kept the stuff inside the sofa? Huh?

Your girlfriend and Kostya. Nobody else.

Get him up.

Kostya ratted you out, little brother.

He made the call and stole seven years from your life.

They put the clamps on him.

Instead of being a man about it, doing his time, he sold you out. Don't listen to them!

It's not true.

You know how to use it? Yeah, I know how to use it.

Good. This man does not deserve to live.

Don't do this! He betrayed you. He betrayed me.

He stole from you.

He stole seven years. Monty, don't listen to him!

End him!

Please, Monty. No, no, no! No, no, no! Don't do this!

Shut up! Shut up. Don't talk. You motherfucker.

Yeah, why'd you do it?

Why did you do it? You let me think it was her!

Why'd you tell me it was her? Don't do this.

Why'd you tell me it was her? Kill this cockroach.

Why? Why'd you do it? No, no, no, Monty! No!

Why? Why? Please!

Why did you tell me it was her? Do it!

I have no choice.

I have no choice, Monty.

Please. Why? Why? Why?

I have no choice.

You told me to trust this man, I trusted him.

Now I'm gone seven. Clean up your own fucking mess.

Be careful. You do whatever you want with him.

When I walk out this door, I'm done.

I'm out and my father's out.

You're being foolish. You gonna let me go or not?

Remember what I told you.

A man with no friends.

No, Monty, please. Don't leave me. Provodi. Monty, come on.

Please! You were my friend.

Please, Monty. I'm sorry. Don't leave me.

Come on. You are missing your party.

You know what time it is? Eh?

You know what time it is? Late at night. No, it's early.

You up for a little more still? Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

Hey, that's Jake. Remember Jake?

Go see Jake.

Hey, what time is it? I've still got a couple hours.

I'm sorry for everything I've been putting you through, Naturelle.

I've been confused. I've been thinking that you...

Doesn't matter. It matters to me.

I don't want you to hate me when I'm gone.

I could never hate you, Montgomery.

I love you.

Hey, stay with me.

I got one last thing I gotta do.

No, don't go. I'll be back.

Wouldn't that be the life, huh? Yeah.

Working a tugboat. Be out on the river every morning.

Yeah, it'd be nice.

It'd be nice.

What time you got?

Quarter past 6:00.

All right.

All right. Come on.

You ready for Mr. Doyle? Yeah.

The leash is yours.

I need you to make me ugly.

I can't go in looking like this. I already told you.

It's all about the first day.

If they get one look at me looking like this, I'll be finished.

Come on. You said anything. You just said you'd do anything.

This is what I need.

What are you thinking? I mean, I'm gonna give you a black eye and nobody's gonna mess with you? Come on!

I need a lot more than a black eye, pal.

Will you fucking help me out here?

I need you to really fuck me up.

I can't do it.

I think you can. I'm not gonna hit you, Monty.

You know what? I think you want to, a little bit.


You think I deserve it a little bit. Not doing it.

I think you have for years. You've been giving me that look, like you want to smack some sense into me.

Well, this is your chance. I need it, Frank!

So this is your favor? "Make me ugly?"

What the... Where the hell is this coming from, man?

This is bullshit!

Don't pussy out on me, Frank.

I need this from you. Now, I'm not gonna fight back.

I'm not gonna beat... I'm not gonna kick your...

What the fuck do you want from me, man?

Be a fucking man about it, all right?

This is insane! Shut up! Shut up!

Nobody's talking to you. I mean it. Stay out of it.

All right, enough! This is bullshit!

I'm gonna go get some breakfast, and we're gonna forget this shit.

No, no, no breakfast. Hey! Listen to me.

Don't do this, Monty.

What is all this bullshit you've been feeding me?

"I'm gonna be there for you, Monty.

"I'll be there when you walk out." Bullshit!

I'll be there for you, but I'm not gonna hit you!

Frank! Frank, he doesn't know what he's doing.

I think this whole situation is convenient...

You know that? That's what I think. What do you mean, convenient?

You're gonna send me away, say "Bye, Monty," say you'll take care of Naturelle for me. Isn't that what this is...

I would never fucking cross the line with her, man!

Oh, bullshit!

You've wanted to fuck her... You're full of shit!

Frank, he doesn't mean it. You think I don't see the way you look at her, at her titties and her ass?

Come on, you asshole, you've been wanting to fuck her for years.

Don't fucking do this, man!

Hey, hey, hey!

Stop it!

Don't do this! Don't do this. Now, Frank. Do it. Do it!

Do it! Do it!

Do it. Do it, you fucking pussy. Do it!

Stop, Frank.

You're going to kill him!

Frank, stop!


Frank. Frank.

I'm sorry...

That's enough. Stop.

Oh, my God!

Monty! Oh, my God!

It's okay. It's all right. Just get me inside.

Get me inside.

Of course. Oh, my...

Oh, my God, baby.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God, Monty, let me take you to the hospital.

Why did you stay with me all this time?

You should've left a long time ago.

Stop talking like that.

I'll wait for you. As long as it takes.

Don't cry, baby.

I'm such an idiot.

Naturelle, I blew it.

I really blew it.

Who's that?

Who did this to you? Gotta go.

Let him take you to the hospital, baby.

It's okay. It's okay.

How did this happen?

I don't know. He just showed up like this.

Oh, baby, Monty. He's a mess.

Oh, look at him.

Oh, God. These people are hooligans.

I'll take him to the hospital.

I'll say goodbye here, Pop. You don't trust my driving?

I can't do it this way.

You just gotta let me walk away, Pop, please. It's easier.

Yeah. Easier?

My God, you don't understand.

Let me drive you there.

I need to know where it is for visits, you know?

Okay, buddy?

Help me out.

Help me out? Okay.

Give me the bag. No hospital, Pop.

No hospital.

Let's go.

I gotta go. Wait. One second. Wait, wait, wait.

No, no, no. It's okay. I'll take it.

I don't want you coming up there to visit me.


I want you to be happy, so I want you to forget about me and live your life.


I figure we take the Henry Hudson to the Sprain Brook Parkway, then to the Taconic.

That should get us there.

Easy drive to Otisville.


Jesus, look what they did to you.

I tell you what, Monty, it's gonna be okay.

It looks bad, I know it, but, you know, when the swelling goes down, it's gonna be okay.

Them hooligans sure gave you a licking though, huh?

How many were there?

I don't know, Pop. There was a bunch of 'em.

You get some good shots in?

Yeah, I got some good shots in.

Give it a month, you'll be better looking than ever.


You were right. It wasn't her.

It wasn't Naturelle.

Of course it wasn't Naturelle.

Cool dog.

You're a cool dog.

Give me the word and I'll take a left turn.

Left turn to where? Take the GW Bridge and go west.

Get you stitched up somewhere and keep going.

Find a nice little town.

On the way, stop in Chicago for a Cubs game.

You always told me you wanted to see Wrigley Field.


I'm saying if... If you want it. If that's what you want, I'll do it.

No. They'd take your bar. My bar?

Jesus, my bar. They can take my bar to hell and back.

You think my bar is more important to me than you, my only child?

Give me the word and we'll go.

They'll find me.

They'll find me sooner or later.

You know how they find people?

They find them when they come home.

People run away but they usually come back.

That's when they get caught.

So you go and you never come back.

You never come home.

We'll drive.

And keep driving.

Head out to the middle of nowhere.

Take that road as far as it takes us.

You've never been west of Philly, have you?

This is a beautiful country, Monty. It's beautiful out there.

Looks like a different world. Mountains, hills, cows, farms and white churches.

I drove out west with your mother one time, before you was born.

Brooklyn to the Pacific in three days.

Just enough money for gas, sandwiches and coffee, but we made it.

Every man, woman and child alive should see the desert one time before they die.

Nothing at all for miles around.

Nothing but sand and rocks and cactus and blue sky.

Not a soul in sight.

No sirens. No car alarms.

Nobody honking at you.

No madmen cursing or pissing on the streets.

You find the silence out there.

You find the peace.

You can find God.

You'll take the high road and I'll take the low road And I'll be in Scotland afore ye But me and my true love Will never meet again On the bonny, bonny banks of Loch Lomond

So we drive west.

Keep driving till we find a nice little town.

These towns out in the desert, you know why they got there?

People wanted to get away from somewhere else.

The desert's for starting over.

Find a bar and I'll buy us drinks.


I haven't had a drink in two years, but I'll have one with you.

One last whiskey with my boy.

Take our time with it. Taste the barley.

Let it linger.

And then I'll go.

I want you to keep that.

I'll hold it for you.

I'll tell you, don't ever write me. Don't ever come visit.

I'll tell you I believe in God's kingdom and I believe I will be with you again and your mother but not in this lifetime.

You'll get a job somewhere.

A job that pays cash.

A boss who doesn't ask questions.

And you make a new life and you never come back.

Monty, people like you. It's a gift.

You make friends wherever you go.

How you fellas doing?

You're gonna work hard, you're gonna keep your head down and your mouth shut.

You're gonna make yourself a new home out there.

Here you go, James.

You're a New Yorker. That will never change.

You got New York in your bones.

Spend the rest of your life out West, but you're still a New Yorker.

You'll miss your friends, you'll miss your dog, but you're strong. You got your mother's backbone in you.

You're strong like she was.

You find the right people and get yourself papers.

Go ahead and have a seat.

A driver's license.

What's your name? James.

James. Not from around here, are you?

No, I'm from out west.

Well, let's go ahead and get your picture.

Be still, give me a smile. Okay.

Now give me a bigger smile, James.

Big, bigger, okay.

You forget your old life.

You can't come back. You can't call, you can't write.

You never look back.

You make a new life for yourself and you live it.

You hear me? You live your life the way it should have been.

And maybe, and this is dangerous, but maybe, after a couple of years, you send word to Naturelle.

Four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

Mmm. Feel that, right there?

Your mother's a lunatic.

Hurry up. I need company.

You get yourself a new family and raise them right.

You hear me? Give them a good life, Monty. Give them what they need.

You have a son. Maybe you name him James.

It's a good strong name. And maybe, one day, years from now, long after I'm dead and gone, reunited with your dear mother, you gather your whole family together and tell them the truth.

Who you are, where you come from.

You tell them the whole story.

I was arrested...

And then you ask them if they know how lucky they are to be there.

All of you...

And it all came so close to never happening.

Came so close to never happening.

This life came so close to never happening.