45 Years (2015) Script

Come on, Max.

Morning, Mrs Mercer. Oh, Chris.

You're early this morning.

I've got the twins waking me up at the crack of dawn.

Oh, my God, I completely forgot.

Congratulations. Cheers.

How are you both coping? It's a hell of a lot of work.

I don't doubt it a second.

But you'll be fine. You were always a capable young man.

You must be getting excited.

Saturday, isn't it? Don't remind me. So much work to do.

Yeah, it'll be fine.

Good luck. Thank you.

And I'm really over the moon for both of you.

Thank you, Mrs Mercer. Kate. Call me Kate.

We're not at school any more. Will do.

What do you think of that Platters song?

The what? The Platters song.

What for?

First dance.

Or think it's a bit naff to have the same song we had at our wedding?

No. Lovely song.

I've always liked it. Yeah, I know.

Asked me how I knew My true love was true

What is it? A letter.

Yes, I know, but who from?

It's in German. Yeah.

What's it say?

Well, I can't remember the verbs as well as the nouns, but... but I think it says they've found her.

Found who?

Well, her body, anyway.

God, who? Geoff.

They've found Katya.


You know who I'm talking about, don't you?

Of course.

Cos, I remember telling you, clear as day.

Of course I remember. I mean, it was a long time ago.

Yeah, I know I told you about my Katya.

She's been there over 50 years, like something in the freezer.

Now they've found her.

Like that, er, Tollund Man in the Swedish bog.

Well, Danish, actually.

Hm? It was on the curriculum for years.

I taught it to the third-formers.

I'll make some more tea.

Yeah, I'm going to need a dictionary.

I don't know where to look.

Why don't you check in the plastic boxes?

Nothing. Nothing but "do-it-yourself" books.


That's it.


Ah, thank you.

You see, what's happened is the snow has completely melted.

All that's left is the ice.

And that's how they found her.

What do you mean? Well, she's still there.

In the ice? Yeah.

Way down, I'm sure, but the water is very pure up there.

It must be, so they can see her.

Well, haven't they taken her out? Not yet.

Why not?

Well, she's in a glacier in the Swiss mountains, Kate.

It can't be that easy.

There are no roads up there.


So, how do they know it's her?

I mean, it might not be her at all.

Well, they've made an assumption, I suppose, from where they found her.

Maybe they can tell from what she's wearing.

From what she's wearing?

Oh, yeah, yeah, those, er, airmen in... Iceland, I think it was, they were perfectly preserved.

Oh, I don't remember that.

Yes. I saw a documentary on it.

They were the same as when they died because of how quickly they froze.

And you think that's what's happened?

Well, I don't know, but you can imagine.

Not sure it works like that. Not after all this time.

How strange would that be, though?

She'll look like she did in 1962.

And I look like this.

What is it?

Er, don't be cross, Kate.

I'm going to have a smoke.

Are you all right? Fine.

Please eat this. And take your pills.

They've asked if I want to go to Switzerland.

Why would they ask that?

Well, to see the body.

When? Soon, I suppose.

You aren't thinking of going? Don't know.

All the way to Switzerland? It's not that far.

There are flights from Stansted. Yeah, but it's far enough.

You don't think I should? Honestly?

Well, no.

I don't see the point.

Plus we've got the party on Saturday. I wasn't thinking of going now.

I wouldn't go now. Yeah, but still.

I don't like the idea of you climbing a big bloody mountain.

Well, I don't think it would come to that.

You don't like going for a walk with me on the Broads and that's as flat as a pancake. I know.

Like I said, Kate, it wouldn't come to that.

But still...

Don't you have to go into town? Oh, I can rearrange.

No, you should go.

It's been a bit of a shock, that's all.

But I'm fine.

Are you sure? Yeah, positive.

Oh. It looks different, all empty.

Well, this is where the tables are usually placed.

The top one over there, so that everyone can see you.

We won't be having a top table, but thank you.


A top table is so lovely at an event like this.

The two of you as a focal point of the room.

We're not trying to recreate the wedding.

It's just a party.

Yes, well, it's your choice, of course.

I will say, though, it's a wonderful place, location-wise, for an anniversary.

It's your 40th, isn't it?


That's an unusual one to celebrate.

My husband was ill and our 40th was cancelled, so we had to rearrange.

Well, I must try and make this one super-special, then, mustn't I?

And this really is a great venue for such an event.

So full of history, you see?

Like a good marriage.

Did you know that the Trafalgar Ball was held here?

Yes, your assistant told me.

It was in 1805.

Can you imagine how incredible that must have been?

Everyone here, dressed in their finest, celebrating such an achievement.

Wasn't Nelson killed?

But the battle was won.

And that has to be worth celebrating, doesn't it?

We had a table at our wedding, a top table, but we didn't like it at all.

My husband thought it a horribly bourgeois tradition.

Shall we have a look at the canapé list?

Er, yes, indeed.

I'll be right back.

No rush.

You have reached Geoff and Kate. Please leave a message.

You haven't listened to this for a long time.

How are you feeling? I'm fine.

What have you done to your finger?

Oh, yeah, I was, er... trying to mend the lavatory and, er, well, I cut me thumb.


Did you manage to fix it?

It needs a new ballcock, I think.

Tried calling earlier on. Did you leave a message?

No, I just wanted to check you were all right.


What are you reading? Kierkegaard.

Gracious, are you having a go at that again?

You know, you have three editions of that book, and I don't think you've got past chapter two in any of them.

Yeah, it's been an odd day.

It sure has.

I just, er... stayed at home, you know, grappling with the ballcock.

But you're right.

I hardly go walking any more.

And it was a nice day, so off I went.

So, where did you go? Just to the village.

To buy cigarettes?

I haven't lost my sense of smell, you know?

I just don't want us to start smoking again.

No, I won't, I won't.

I promise.

OK. Go on.

So, I was in the village, and I don't know what happened but that racist from the community centre...

Mm. Sandra Wilkins.

Yeah, her.

She came up to me, right up to me face, and she kept asking me if I was all right.

And when I said I was, she wouldn't believe me.

And... I wasn't doing anything.

Nothing. Just sitting on the bench by the duck pond, minding me own business and getting some air.

All done.

All I was doing, I promise. I believe you.

She's a dreadful woman.

Just ignore her. Mm.

Is it all right?

Oh, it's great. Great.

Yeah. Mm.

A drop more?

Mm, thank you.

What? Nothing.

There's something I want to tell you. OK.

You know, I feel sure I've told you before, but it was a long time ago, so, I mean, I could be wrong.

OK, go on. Yeah.

Um, I was her next of kin.

What do you mean?

Well, officially.

I was her next of kin. I'm sure I told you this before, Kate.

I think I would remember my husband being another woman's next of kin.

Why? Why what?

Well, why were you her next of kin?

Because they thought we were married.

Who did? The authorities. People.

What made them think that?

We told them we were.

You weren't, though?

Oh, no, no, no. No, hell, no.

We just had to pretend, so people would let us stay in their houses.

Different in those days, Kate, and then after the accident...

You're not lying to me?

No. Kate, she wore a ring on her finger.

It was a small wooden ring, like a curtain ring, made of oak.

Funny you'd remember that.

Well, it wasn't real.

OK, you could've... you could've just told me, Geoff.

I thought I had.

If I hadn't, well, it's hardly, er... the sort of thing you tell your beautiful new girlfriend, is it?

I suppose not.

I think I'm going to have a... go upstairs and have a bath.

I've got lots to do tomorrow.

Are you sure you're all right? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, really, I am.

I can hardly be cross with something that happened before we existed, can I?

Not really.


I suppose a cuddle's out of the question.

It doesn't even feel like it was me that was there.

Do you know what I mean?

How long had you been up there?

Oh, six or seven weeks, I suppose.

It seemed a lot longer.

We had a map, er, to start with.

It was so bloody unreliable.

I've still got it somewhere.

Yeah, we were getting higher into the mountains and I decided it would be best if we found someone, you know, to help us get to the Italian border.

A guide? Yeah, wasn't really a guide.

This swarthy little bastard who thought he was Jack Kerouac.

You always did hate Kerouac. Yes, I did.

Maybe you were jealous.

What, of Jack Kerouac? Of the guide.

Was he flirting with her?

Well, they did have, er... the language.

My German, it wasn't that great, what with its accent.

They laughed a lot.

He was forever making these jokes I didn't get.

Oh, God, you wouldn't like that. No, I didn't.

They were walking up ahead, more than they needed to perhaps, or... maybe I just let them, I don't know.

We were on a track round this rock, and the glacier was on the right, below us.

Way down.

Beautiful thing, it was.

You'd love the landscape out there, Kate.

You really would. Yeah, I'm sure.

They were out of sight, round the corner, and the last sound but one that I heard was her laughter.

And, Christ, did it annoy me.

But then, there was a scream.

It wasn't a loud scream, neither.

Sort of outpouring of air from her lungs, from the shock, I suppose.

It was low and guttural, not like her voice, which was soft, higher-pitched.

God, that's just horrible.

Mm. Mm.

And then what?

That was it, really.

When I got there, she'd gone.

And Kerouac was looking down this hole.

A fissure.

Yeah, a fissure, I suppose you'd call it, like a narrow, narrow crack in the rock.

Do you remember that one in Scotland?

Yeah, I do. Yeah. Well, it was like that one.

Yeah. Only much deeper.

And Kerouac was just standing there.

His face, oddly enough, it looked almost yellow.

Was she blonde?

Sorry? Did she have blonde hair?

Oh, no, no. She had dark hair.

Like mine, then. Mm.

I mean, not now.

Yeah, like yours.

How old was she?

She was two years older than me, and that was '62.

Yeah, so she was about 27.


My mum died that year.

Did she? Yeah. Mm.

I don't know why that's funny but it is. Funny?

Well, we didn't know each other then, you and I, but we were both going through something really unpleasant, and... and yet we never talked about it in all the years that we've known each other.

Never. No. Never have.

I'm tired.

Shall I turn off the light?


I'm quite tired, too.

Come on.



Yeah, boy! Come on!

Come on! Good boy.

You're up early this morning.

Yeah, I thought I might come into town with you, if you don't mind.

No, of course I don't mind.

Yeah, I want to go to Thorns, get a new ballcock.

Oh, good.

Do you think my library card will still be valid, Kate?

I don't see why not. I might pop in there if there's time.

Have a bit of a browse.

We could have some lunch. Yeah, great.

Well, er, I'll just go do what I have to do.

Give us a shout when you're ready.


About an hour. I've got to call the florist and one or two things.

Do you think the library will have anything on climate change?

On what? Climate change.

Sorry I'm late. All right.

Did you get the thing? What thing?

The ballcock. Er, they have to order it.

I'll pick it up in a few days.

What do you want to eat?

We've got to think a lot more about the environment.

Well, we recycle. Do we?

Yeah. Well, I try to, anyway. Well, we should.

You're welcome to clean out the dog cans and put them in the right bins.

Because these glaciers, they're melting a lot more than people imagined, and the water's just not coming down. It's got to go somewhere.

No, it's saturating into the rock beneath, and it's building up and up and up.

Like... Like a dam.

Like a dam, yeah. It's waiting, waiting, waiting, and then...

Careful. No warning.

Come down like a tsunami, wipe out everything in its path.

Schools, churches, people in cafes drinking their coffee, old men in shops tinkering with their cuckoo clocks.

And if they hadn't found her, that's when she'd have come down, with all the rock and debris.

We'll be long dead by then.


Put your book away.

Oh, yeah.

You screening my calls, Kate? Not really.

Hello. Hi.

Sally! Hi, Geoff.

That's my favourite one, there.

OK, Mum. I think it's enough now. It's getting really boring.

I'm proud of my grandson. Sally, I want to have a look at Charley.

These are so lovely.

And the photos are really beautiful.

Aren't they? Sally's going to be a photographer.

I'm not. I'm just taking an evening course, just for the fun of it.

It's nothing grand.

But it might lead to something. Or it might not.

We shall see, won't we? But you should concentrate on it.

I took it up about three months ago.

It's a good instrument to learn. You can play anything on the ukulele.

It's not just George Formby, which is good because, as you know, I always hated him.

The Internet is absolutely brilliant.

If you go to a guy called justinguitars.com, he actually teaches guitar, but it's all free.

He's started, er, teaching ukulele as well.

See you later. Have a nice time.

All right, see you later.

I don't think... I don't think Geoff wanted to go to the pub.

It's either that or he comes shopping with us.

We could have gone to the pub, all of us.

Know what he's like with daytime drinking.

Oh, he'll be all right.

Anyway, it gives him a chance to vent.

About what? About you.


Not about you as such, but about the party.

What do you mean about... vent about the party?

When I think how awful George was before our 40th, I was that close to divorcing him.

Ignore her.

So, what's going to happen with your dress? What would you like?

So, should I not be having a party?

Of course you should.

It is a lot of pressure for both of us.

And I hate parties anyway, at the best of times.

I mean, I never even celebrate my birthday.

No, no, no, no, no, you have to.

I mean, that's the strange thing.

George was awful, but then do you remember him at the actual party?

How much he cried?

And not only during the speeches.

Yeah, he was very sweet.

That's why these things are important.

What, to make our husbands cry?

Not just husbands, all men.

It's always them that break first.

Sally's wedding, Charley's christening.

We hold it together cos we already know how important these things are.

Geoff is not much of a crier.

I bet he cried at your wedding.

I don't remember.

If it's some twist of evolution that needs men to be obsessed by their obituaries, their legacies, then maybe it's ours to nudge them into realising what's really important before they kill themselves, you know, with the disappointment.

Morning. Oh.

I nodded off.

What did you think of Sally's photos?

Mm? Sally's photos.

I think she's got a very good eye.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Mm.


I sometimes think it's a shame not to have more photos around the house.

We could put some up.

Yeah, but we don't have any. Not really.

I mean, not like Lena does with her wall display.

I suppose it's because they've got children and grandchildren, and...

I guess we didn't see the point of taking pictures of ourselves.

Would have been a bit vain.

You used to say that everybody taking pictures all the time stopped anyone having any fun.

Did I? You did.

Sounds like something I'd say. Mm-hm.

You had a camera, once.

Yeah, a Yashica. Mm, a Yashica.

Yeah, I've still got it.

It's in the loft.

Now that we're older, though, it... it's a shame.

What would you want photos of?

Max when he was a pup. Mm-hm.

Tessa before him.

You when you were decorating Clitheroe and you hammered that nail into your hand.

You want a photograph of that?

Oh, you know what I mean.

It was our first house.

It was.

Yeah, it was my first home since leaving home, since leaving my parents, leaving my father.

I suppose we don't realise at the time but those memories...

...they're the things, aren't they?

I'd want a picture of you at the Leeds Mecca.

That's where we met.

You were a bloody knockout.

Oh, it's odd, isn't it, thinking of us back then?

I wasn't even 20, and you were so cool, with your cigarette hanging in your mouth.


Tell you what.

What are you doing? Come on.

We can move the... Oh, bugger off!

Come on.

I'm not prancing around in the living room at this time of night.

Over the top, yeah.

We ain't 20 any more.


Let's go upstairs.

Come on with ya.

Hope I can remember what you do.

I'll show you.

How are you doing down there? I think I'm ready.


You don't want me to go on top? No, I'm nearly there.

Oh, you are, too.

Oh, there you go.

Oh, yeah.


A kiss.

Open your eyes.

Uh... Oh, shit.

Oh, bugger.

I think I've lost it. I...


Geoff, it's OK, it's OK.


Aw... It's OK.

No, let's just go to sleep.


What are you doing?

Geoff? I'm OK, Kate.

Please come down. This is ridiculous.

I'm OK.

What's that in your hand?


Is it her? I found it.

You didn't find it. You went looking for it in the middle of the night and that's not the same thing at all.

Let me see it. No.

Please, Geoff. Can I see it?

Please, Kate, just go back to bed.

Show me the bloody picture!

It's just a picture. It's all it is.

It doesn't mean anything. It's just a fucking picture.



Come on!

Are you getting someone to do your makeup on Saturday?

I wasn't thinking of it.

I know this girl. She's very subtle.

You wouldn't have to worry about looking like a hooker.

Sally's got this amazing roll-on thing, zaps away dark circles.

I'm sure you could borrow it.

If I'm looking tired, you can just tell me.

You're looking tired.

I'm fine.

Ugh, this weather.

I'm just telling you what George said.

I'm not trying to upset you. Really, I'm not.

I'm not upset, but you're not telling me anything.

You're just saying that Geoff was in a strange mood.

That's what George said.

Did Geoff say anything?

Like what?

That's what I'm asking you.

About the party? No, not about the party.

They were talking politics.

That's it? Well, he was very aggressive.

Well, I'm sure George can stand up for himself.

He was acting like he used to.


Like that time he kept accusing me of being a fascist in front of all my friends at my birthday just because I dared to say that Thatcher hadn't done such a bad job of it.

I mean, I hadn't even voted for her.

It wasn't funny, Kate.


Very upsetting.

He kept doing a Nazi salute.

All right, it was a little bit funny.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have brought it up.

You know what Geoff's like.

He gets over-passionate about things.

I suppose that's why you fell in love with him.


Oh, er, there's another thing.


Geoff says he's not sure that he wants to go to the works lunch.

At Crawley's?

But it's tomorrow. I know.

And it's been organised for so long.

George was looking forward to getting the old gang together but if...

Well, did he say why?

Don't think so.

I'll speak to him.

Er, maybe it doesn't matter.

No, I'll speak to him.


Full, full?

Do you want more milk?


Biscuit? No?


Well, I'll leave them there. And I'll take one.

Thank you. After that, the merchants used these newly created waterways, and over the years they were cut deeper and wider, and this is why the Broads are as they are today for all of you to enjoy.

Now, just imagine if those Romans had found peat elsewhere or chosen to dig in another part of the country.

Then these broads wouldn't be here at all.

Is that Geoff?

Yes, it is, yeah.

What's he doing?

Is he smoking again?

Looks like it.

You should get him to shave before the big day too.

Hello, Geoffrey. Hello, Lena.

Hope you've got your speech prepared.

I want to hear nice things about Kate on Saturday.

So, I hear you don't want to go to the Crawley's lunch.

I don't mind if you don't, but I wondered why.

I just don't.

You've been looking forward to seeing everyone again.

You've been talking about it for weeks.

Why don't you want to go? I've got me reasons.

Which are?

Why does it matter to you if I go or not?

It doesn't, but it's been arranged.


So you can't just back out of things simply because you don't feel like it.

Even when you have reasons.

And George will be very upset.

He's... well, he's been organising it for weeks.

And he's your friend. Oh, fine.

Then you'll go? Well, that's what I said, didn't I?

Some days, we forgot all about getting to Italy. Just stayed put.

We were being heedless.

I think that's the word I'm looking for.



Back in her Berlin, the Wall was going up and in America we'd just had the Bay of Pigs.

But up there, we weren't thinking about all that.

Weren't thinking about our future.

But, at the same time, we weren't heedless at all.

How can you be when, when you know what your purpose is?

When every day seems to have some point to it.

Finding somewhere to stay, finding food.

And the days we didn't go anywhere, they seemed just as purposeful as when we set out in complete seriousness at four in the fucking morning.

I think, um... I think that's the worst part of getting decrepit, losing that... purposefulness.

I was remembering today how we used to see these flowers.

Some sort of violet, I think they were.

They'd find a patch of grass where the snow had melted and they'd just spring up.

I know they were only flowers, but they seemed so determined.

Brave, even.

And that's how I see Katya and me.

Wandering around, turning our backs on civilisation.


In a way.

Don't you think?

Not really.

Why not?

I mean, what were you actually doing?

You're just climbing up some bloody mountain.

Well, I'm not saying what we did was out of bravery.

I think you were just chasing a girl who wanted to be chased.

You didn't know her.


I didn't.

I'm tired.

I want to ask you something before we go to sleep.

What's that?

If she hadn't died, if you had got to Italy, would you have married her for real?

But we didn't get to Italy, did we?

And she did die.

Yeah, but if you had.

I thought you didn't like theoretical questions.

Just answer me.


Yes, you would have married her?


We would have married each other.

I don't think I can talk about her any more.

I know I said I could, but I can't.

Anyone you know still there?

What? No, they're all new.

OK, then, I'll see you later.


Hang on.

Just try and enjoy yourself today.

Yeah. I'll try.

Max, shut up!



Mrs Mercer? Yes, it is.

Hi, it's George the DJ.

Oh, yes, I meant to call you.

I need the songs for Saturday.

Er, song? Oh, songs, yes.

Er... just a minute.


Happy Together by The Turtles. OK, good choice.

For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield.

Um, Your Precious Love by Marvin Gaye.

And Higher And Higher by...

I don't remember who that's by.

Is it Jackie Wilson?

Yeah. Yeah.

What about Your Song by Elton John? No. No Elton John.

What else? I haven't got my list.

The Moody Blues?

That's enough.

What about your first dance?

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes by The Platters.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. Goodbye.

How was it?

Fucking endless.

You wouldn't fucking believe what they've done to the place.

It's all been streamlined.

My first job on the floor doesn't exist any more.

I tell you, if I was still in management, I wouldn't have let that happen.

And the unions, they don't give a shit.

Well, maybe they do and nobody takes any notice.

And how the lads have descended into old age, it's not pretty.

And there's George, wanging on about his fucking ukulele.

The worst part of it is that they all seemed interested.

And Len, he's got a villa on the Algarve.

Do you remember Red Len?

We used to call him Len-in, and now all he can talk about is playing golf on the Al-fucking-garve with his grandson, who's a banker.

Red Len, with a banker for a grandson.

Fuck me!

Hello, ladies. Have a good day, ladies.

Would anybody like one, this week's Big Issue?

Could I interest you in a Big Issue?

Would anybody like one, this week's Big Issue?

Good afternoon, love. Spare a couple of minutes?

I'd love to tell you a bit about this charity we've got going on.

Um, I'm not interested.

No? No problem.

Can I help you?

May I sit down? Yeah, please do.

Is there somewhere you have in mind? No, I...

I want to know if a man has been in here.

It's my husband.

We've used you a few times and I wondered if he'd been in.

Um, was he enquiring about Switzerland?

Been a long time. Yeah, sorry.

I've been...

Well, town was very busy and the bus back was... Sorry.

I went to the travel agent today.

What? I went to the travel agent.

Are you going to Switzerland?

No. I'm not. Why not?

Well, I can't walk to the village without... without sitting down.

How am I going to climb a fucking mountain?

And that's the reason?

No, Kate, that's not the reason.

Because if you do go, and if I...

Oh, Christ, Kate. This isn't about Katya.

Please, stop saying her name.

I can't bear it. It isn't... It isn't about Katya.

It is.

Of course it is.

Like me discovering what this smell is around the house.

Oh, please. And it's her perfume, OK?

It's like she's been standing in the corner of the room all this time, behind my back. Oh, come on.

And it's tainted everything.

All our decisions, where we go on holiday, what books we read, what dog you want to choose, what music we want to listen to.

And the big things, too.

Especially the big things.

She's had nothing to do with any of that.

I'd like to be able to tell you everything I'm... thinking, and everything I know, but I can't.

Do you understand that?


Yes, I do.

All I want now is for you to just come to the party tomorrow.

Of course I'm going to come. I really need you to want to be there.

Yes, I do want to be there.

Because it's one thing me knowing I haven't been enough for you.

It's something...

...altogether different that everyone else feels it, too.

You really believe you haven't been enough for me?

No. I think I was enough for you.

I'm just not sure you do.

Ah, Kate.

That's terrible.

Have you taken your pills today? No.

Then I'm going to get them.

And then we're going to have dinner, and then we're going to go to bed.

And then we're going to get up.

And we'll try and start again.

OK, Kate, I can do that.

We can do that.

I promise.


I made you some tea.

Oh. And, er...

I've managed to fix the lavatory without cutting me finger off.

Is it late?

Yeah, I thought I'd make us some scrambled eggs and then we can take Max for a walk.


Great. Right.

Will do.

Yeah, we have got some eggs, haven't we?

I saw a treecreeper here, once, a lovely little bird.

Somebody told me that they fly down to the bottom of the tree and work their way up.

And nuthatches, they fly to the top of the trunk, work their way down.

Come on. Come on. Good boy.

You used to love your birdwatching. I did, yes.

It's funny how you forget the things in life that make you happy.

Stay there, Max.

Found it, Max.

Again, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything.

Oh, don't be silly.

This is very beautiful.

I'm glad you like it.

I was going to get you a watch.

I was thinking of having it engraved, but I wasn't sure what to write.

I like not knowing the time.

I just couldn't do it. No.

Don't worry, darling, you don't have to. Most people don't want to.

Will you come with me? I've got something to show you.

No surprises, Lena. I don't want a surprise.

Wow. Isn't it wonderful?

Look at this. Yes.

Lena, what's that? Ah, come and have a look.



Where did they all come from? I rang round. Everyone contributed.

Most of them are mine.

Look, Kate, look how beautiful you are.

Kate, there's Tessa when she was a puppy.

Ah, there's me... me and me goggles, strimming.


Look at us there. Remember that? Egypt.

Yeah, when we went to Egypt.

Gorgeous, we both are.

Lena, this is wonderful. Thank you.

Not bad for an old fascist, huh?

Yeah, not bad at all.

Oh, I can't wait to hear your speech. Yeah, it's all in here.

Ugh, we're all in trouble then. Yeah, especially you.

Just you wait for those tears.

Who's that? That's Arthur, I think.

Yes, it is. Yes.

Yeah, it's Arthur, a few years ago. And who else do I see?

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

I give you... Mr Geoffrey Mercer.

Go on, Geoffrey.

Now, can you hear me?

We can hear you. Yes.

Oh, dear.

I'd better try and make sense, then.

Well, I'd like to thank you all, first off, for being here this evening.

Some of you may recall that, er... my bypass, er, upstaged things a few years ago, so, anyway, there we are.

Now, er, I'm not used to making this kind of speech on this, er... sort of occasion, but, er... well...

I'll give it me best shot.

As, um, as we get older, we seem to stop, er, making choices.

Big ones, anyway.

Perhaps we only get so many, er, in a lifetime, and once we've used them up, they're gone.

Or maybe our brains, they just get a bit, er, old and arthritic, like, er... like George's knee.

Er, whatever.

The upshot is that the choices we make when we're young are pretty bloody important.

Er, like the choice, er, Kate and me made

45 years ago... today.


Now, things... things haven't always been, er... idyllic.

Er, like all couples, we've had our downs as, er... as well as our ups.

We all, we all, er, think...

We all wish we'd done some things, er, differently, wish we hadn't made certain mistakes, but, er... whatever.

I have to say, and I need to say, that persuading you, er, to marry me, Kate, was the best thing I've ever done.

Er, it took some doing, by the way.

Yeah, so your father, I don't think he was convinced I was the greatest catch in the world.

I wonder why that was.

But anyway, er, persuading you to marry me was the best thing I've ever done, and, er, I'm sorry, I truly am, that, er, you haven't, er... you haven't always known that because, er, well, for me, Kate, this is, er, this is what it's... what it's all about, what all this is about, why all... why all our friends are here this evening.

It's about, er... it's about you and me.

You and me, Kate.



And I think, really, that's about all I've, er... got to say, except that, er... I love you.


I love you very much.

And thank you for standing by me through all these years and putting up with all my nonsense, and, er... long may it continue.

Geoff and Kate!

Geoff and Kate!

It was fantastic. Wasn't it?

It was.

And now... would the two lovebirds kindly take to the floor for the first dance?


And for those of you that don't know, or weren't alive, this is the very same song that was played 45 years ago today.


I give you Mr and Mrs Mercer.