5 Flights Up (2014) Script

When Ruth and I first moved to Brooklyn, it was like an outpost.

To our friends in Manhattan, we might as well have moved to Nebraska.

It was out of fashion, but a good place for a struggling artist like me.

And we liked it, which was good, because it was all we could afford.

Morning, Mr. Rahim.

Good morning, Mr. Carver. Good morning, Dorothy.

So tomorrow's the big day.

You ready to move?

I don't know.

I would get out of here in a minute if I could.

Ah. Where would you go?

Where would I go? New York is the best city in the world.

Hello. Hello.

Ruth.

It's like talking to someone in the wreck of the Titanic.

Ruth!

Ruth.

Ruth.

Uh... What am I looking for in here?

The Times.

Oh. Um...

I'm losing you.

Alex, stop moving around. Are you near the door?

Listen to me. Yeah. It's in the rack.

Oh! Mmm-hmm.

Lily's coming, so I got to go.

Yeah, she's here. So I'll talk to you later. You'll be fine.

Honestly.

Aunt Ruth, I don't know how you and Alex do it.

I'm 40-whatever. And look at me.

Jesus, I got to join a gym.

Uh... Excuse me. Where is The Times?

Aunt Ruth. Hide this.

We're gonna see a lot of action tomorrow.

Your mother gave that to me.

Well...

I wish she hadn't smoked so much.

I guess people don't really give ashtrays as gifts anymore, do they?

I don't know if people even make them anymore.

So the shades all have to be up.

Light is money. Remember that.

How many people will come, do you think?

Who knows? But what we want are the serious ones.

Oh. You always get the lookers.

The people who just come to see how other people live.

It makes them feel better about their lives.

Or worse. Who knows?

So when you're trying to sell, you don't want any clutter.

Uh-huh. Less is more.

All the books gotta go away.

Chekhov. The Lady with the Dog.

This was my favorite story to teach.

Uh-huh. The girls loved it, but I remember the boys not so much.

Did you get Uncle Alex to change his mind?

Oh, he's still on the fence about it, but you know artists.

Too much practicality overwhelms them.

Ah, I'll get him there.

Because you're looking at maybe a million dollars.

Give or take. Oh.

Two years ago, it would have been even more.

It was a feeding frenzy then.

The neighborhood's changed a lot.

It's cool now, filled with hipsters.

And gentrifiers.

Mothers with baby strollers that cost as much as a Chevy.

And their banker husbands, their heads buried in their smart phones.

Crossing the street while you're trading stocks and bonds doesn't seem that smart to me.

Hey! Hey! Watch where you're going.

The neighborhood's just got itself a Whole Foods.

All it needs now is the ultimate sign of modern civilization.

An Apple Store.

But as much as it's changing, I'm gonna miss this place.

Come on, Dorothy. Come on, baby. Come on. Come on, now.

Come on. That's a good girl.

Good morning, Mr. Carver.

Oh, hi, Erica.

Are you all ready for the open house?

I guess so.

It's not the same market it was a few years ago, you know?

Well, we're just testing the waters.

What you're gonna want to do tomorrow, first thing, when you wake up... Mmm-hmm.

... turn this on and let it simmer.

It gives the whole apartment a homey feel.

Okay.

It works every time.

Let's hope a lot of people are gonna love this apartment tomorrow.

This is a young people's building. You know? The stairs.

Come on.

I know you're tired.

So am I. Come on.

I know. Come on.

Here, let me try.

I know how to put a key in the door.

Give it here. I got it.

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm carrying my bride across the threshold.

What bride? We've been married two years.

You still like it?

Like it?

I love it.

Oh, look at all this light.

Hi. I'm Alex Carver. My wife and I, we just moved in.

Oh, hey, Alex. Hey.

Hey, Dorothy.

Did you have a good walk, sweetie?

Big day tomorrow. You all set?

Yes.

What is that smell?

Oh, that's cinnamon. It gives the place a homey feel.

It smells like a whorehouse.

Is that a fact? Yes.

And what does a whorehouse smell like, sir?

Well, it smells like this. Uh-huh.

So, uh, I'm gonna be bringing the first couple, the Schuylers, by at 9:00 a.m.

9:00 a.m. Why not 6:00?

Oh, come on, Alex, please, you promised.

So we could be getting a lot of people here tomorrow, and if you could tidy up your studio, it would be great.

Because it's such a wonderful room, but it looks smaller than it is with all the clutter.

Anyway. That's great.

So it's gonna be great.

Good. Thanks, Lily.

I can hardly wait.

Bye, Lily.

You could be nice to her. She's done a lot of work for us, honey.

She talks too much.

Well, I can't disagree with that.

This room has been my studio for more than 40 years.

What room will I be painting in next year?

Will it have a view? Will it even have a window?

I think these could go over here, honey.

All right, here, here. Here, I'll take it. I'll take it.

All right.

Are you okay? Okay. I got it.

Ruth. What?

We're making a mistake.

What do you want me to do, Alex?

I mean, it's already in the paper.

I just don't want Lily to railroad us like she did her mother.

That's because Sarah was sick, please.

Where would we go?

Oh, I think... Well, with a million dollars, frankly, we could go anywhere.

We might get a million dollars.

Anyway, it'll cost a million dollars to get another place like this.

Not to mention the cost of moving and selling.

Well, then we'll go where the houses are cheaper.

There's no way we can leave New York.

We're not going to leave New York. No.

All we need is a place for you to paint and an elevator.

I handle the stairs better than Lily does.

Sure, you do now, honey, but...

What about later?

I don't know.

You know, I...

I've read about these open houses.

Uh-huh. People steal things.

Okay, I will nail the furniture to the floor. All right?

I don't like the idea of all those people in here poking through our things.

You don't have to be here. You do not have to be here.

You can take a walk.

You can go see a movie.

Well, I might do that.

We're just dipping our toes into the water. That's all.

Nobody's making any commitments. Nobody.

What's the matter, sweetheart? What happened?

What's wrong?

Alex. Something's wrong with Dorothy.

What? What's the matter?

She's shaking. I don't know.

She's shaking, and then when I picked her up she screamed.

What's the matter, girl? She screamed.

I don't know, I think she's in pain.

Maybe we should take her to the vet.

It's probably nothing.

No. Remember last year?

It cost us $700 to find out she had gas.

Don't try to go so fast, Ruth. You don't want to fall down these steps.

I'm not gonna fall down.

She's shaking, because she's upset.

I think we could use an elevator. Don't you? At this point?

Well, I guess we could, but we don't have one.

What happened?

We think it's her back.

You want a cab? Yeah. Please, please.

Taxi!

Oh, thank God.

Is there a fire?

They say that there's a gasoline truck stuck on the Williamsburg Bridge.

Always something, isn't it?

Thank you, Mr. Rahim.

You're welcome. You're welcome. Good luck with the dog.

The tanker is blocking two lanes.

That's right, Brian.

All Manhattan-bound traffic is stuck right now...

Are they talking about the bridge?

Could you turn the music down, please? Yeah.

Please. Thank you.

... has jackknifed on the Williamsburg Bridge a few minutes ago.

The mayor made a statement urging people to avoid all but essential...

I still don't hear anything.

What? Did you forget your hearing aid?

Some tanker's stuck on the bridge. That's all I'm hearing.

Now, the mayor's telling people not to come into the city tonight.

Should we have taken the tunnel?

Nah. No way. Everything's a mess.

Hey... What's with your dog?

You know, actually, we don't know.

Maybe he ate a plastic bag.

You know, my dog did that once. He got real sick.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Okay, thank you.

There you go. Keep the change. Thank you.

Oh, God. Here we go.

Hey, good luck with the dog.

You'll find out in the morning if she ate a bag.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

You've got it? Yeah.

Do you want me to carry her?

No, no, I've got her. It's okay, sweetie. We're almost there.

Okay, sweetie. Oh, my God.

You all right? Yeah, I'm all right.

I found her on the kitchen floor in her own urine.

And then when I picked her up she screamed.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, Dorothy. Let's see what's going on here.

It's highly probable it's a ruptured disk, but we'll need to do a CAT scan to know for sure. Yeah. CAT scan?

Is that expensive?

Alex. Alex.

I'm just asking, Ruth.

It's not cheap, Mr. Carver.

How much?

Around $1,000. Oh.

Okay. Yeah... Okay.

We should do this right away.

Yeah. All right.

Good.

Okay, Dorothy. Okay.

Okay, Dorothy.

Do you really think they can fix a ruptured disk?

Who knows?

We just have to be ready for the worst.

Don't say that, please, Alex.

She's 10 years old, Ruth. I know.

But 10 is not that old.

You're older than her in dog years.

Oh, thanks.

The rupture is between T-13 and L-1.

It's about two-thirds down her spine.

Okay.

Usually, this type of injury is best with surgery.

What if you can't fix it?

Well, animals adapt very well to new challenges, Mrs. Carver.

I've seen dogs with paralysis live a full life with the use of wheels.

Wheels? Yeah.

Yeah. But, look, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

We'll keep her on the steroids.

And in the meantime, you should go home.

And we'll call you in the morning.

Okay? Okay.

I just wish we didn't have to leave her here overnight, you know?

Try not to put yourself in her place.

Animals adapt to their fates more easily than we do.

They don't remember what was. Right? I... Okay.

They deal with things as they are now.

Should we tell him how far we're willing to go?

What are you talking about? What do you mean?

I mean, we have to be realistic, Ruth.

We can only spend so much.

And you heard what the doctor said. Animals live in the now.

And it might not even be fair to Dorothy.

You might want to consider this.

Wait. What?

I'll call you tomorrow.

Thank you, Doctor.

I'm sorry, but what is that?

This is a DNR. Do Not Resuscitate.

What are you talking... Wait a minute. Oh!

Ruth. No.

Why did you sign that form?

We have to be practical, Ruth.

But, Alex, it's not your decision to make.

We have to do everything we can for her.

And we will. But what if there isn't anything we can do?

There's always something to do, Alex.

I just think it might be the kindest thing for her.

Yeah.

Why do you always assume... Just let me ask you this.

Why do you always assume everything is gonna go wrong?

Because I plan for the worst and I hope for the best.

Oh, you think I don't know that after 40 years of marriage?

Insane. We've had this same damn discussion for a thousand times. It's not a discussion.

Don't tell me that. It's not a discussion. This is an argument, Alex.

All right. Argument, discussion, whatever you want to call it.

I'm just doing what I think is right.

Okay, fine. All right. Fine, you do that. But I'll tell you right now, it doesn't really matter, because I'm sure that Dorothy's gonna be fine.

There has been no movement at this point.

The driver appears to be missing.

The NYPD, well, they're not saying very much, but...

NYPD has released the identity of the suspect as Abdul Pamir.

We know who he is, but the real questions are, where is he?

What is he up to? And why did he run away?

Did you take your pill?

Yes, love.

Mmm-hmm. Thanks, Julie.

I've already spoken with some of the people who were on the bridge when the tanker jackknifed.

And they said their immediate concern was...

I'm going up to the roof.

Okay.

Do you see what I'm seeing?

Larry, no!

Happy retirement.

Thanks for nothing. Yeah. Wishful thinking.

Oh, my God! This is embarrassing.

What are you doing, honey? What is it? Oh, God.

What is it going to be? Thank you very much. I love you.

Uh-oh. That feels a little...

Wait. There's something strange about this.

Something doesn't... I don't know what's going on.

Oh, no, it is! It's trouble! It's trouble!

It's trouble! Aw!

This is the trouble.

Oh, you're adorable.

What are we gonna name her?

What do you think? I got it. I know what.

Dorothy. Yeah. Dorothy.

You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. Look. Oh, my God.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

I thought you were watching the news, honey.

Nothing new about it.

It's all the same old stuff over and over.

I know. But I think people feel safer when they hear things.

Look at these. What do you think?

Well, they're kind of puny, but we got tomatoes.

How many did we get last year? Six? Seven?

Eight. Eight?

That works out to be about nine dollars apiece.

We could have gone to the Four Seasons for less than that.

I'm gonna go clean up. Okay?

We can clean up tomorrow.

The people are coming tomorrow at 9:00, and Lily has given me a whole list of stuff that I have to do.

Nobody is going to be house hunting tomorrow.

We don't know that.

Would you buy an apartment this weekend?

You know, you're just as happy as you can be about all this bridge business, aren't you?

Well, of course, I planned this whole thing, so I could thwart Lily's open house tomorrow.

I wouldn't put it past you. And, oh...

Don't forget you promised Lily you'd clean up your studio.

It looks like a mess, Alex.

Bomb detection unit is being brought on the scene with robots to check for such explosives in the tanker.

Now the bridge is swarming with NYPD.

We have unconfirmed reports that there may be some sort of explosive device in the gasoline tank.

So what about this bridge business, anyway?

Please, Aunt Ruth, I sold a loft in Tribeca the day after 9/11.

We might not get the usual hordes, but we'll get the serious ones and that'll work in our favor.

I will see you tomorrow at 8:30.

Good, okay, thank you.

... missing driver as Abdul Pamir.

Now, we can show you a picture from Pamir's social networking site.

Isn't that a traditional Muslim hat he's wearing?

Yeah, Brian. It's actually referred to as a kufi...

Oh, Lily's coming by with the first couple at 8:30.

Nothing stands in the way of real estate.

What did Lily call this?

Clutter.

Who'd have thought that the whole of my life's work would be worth less than the room I painted it in.

But how can I turn down a million dollars?

I have nothing else to leave Ruth besides all this clutter.

Oh...

Come on.

Okay. Oh! There.

Yes? Oh, hello, Doctor. Yes, this is she.

Dorothy's stabilized, so I'd like to operate on her first thing in the morning to minimize distress.

Honey? Yeah.

The Doctor wants to operate on her tomorrow morning.

Yeah, now, she has a heart murmur.

Yes.

Yes. I see. Yes, of course.

He says the longer we wait the more stress there is on her heart.

What are the odds if they operate?

What are her odds?

Around 60-40.

60-40?

In her favor?

There's no guarantees, but one can't be certain.

Oh.

So do you want to go ahead with this?

Well, yes, we do.

I should tell you that the operation will be at least $10,000.

$10,000?

Yes.

Oh, well, that's a lot of money. I don't really know...

Here. Let me talk to him. Oh. Okay.

Doctor? This is Mr. Carver.

Hello? Hello?

What's the matter?

Doesn't work. Hello? What? Oh!

Oh. Is anyone there?

Doctor, this is Mr. Carver.

Yes.

Listen. I want you to do whatever is necessary to save Dorothy.

Never mind what I signed.

The money doesn't matter. Okay.

Just do whatever it takes.

Will do.

What?

You know what.

It's a brand new day here at WZRZ. Your place for New York talk.

Traffic is still snarled up on the Williamsburg Bridge.

We'll go out there with Cynthia Piermont soon.

But first, we have a studio full of newlyweds.

So we're learning now that the suspect, police source said, Abdul Pamir is from Uzbekistan.

Hey.

Look at that. What?

"Peril on the bridge!"

They make it sound like an amusement park ride or something.

Oh!

Several of Pamir's co-workers have come forward to say that he's a quiet, good-natured young man.

Who's screwing up the real estate market.

We're going now to Queens, where the family is about to make a statement.

Logan is reporting live from the scene.

Abdul Pamir is a devout, gentle and caring son.

Yes, he was born in Uzbekistan, but he became a proud American citizen two years ago.

All we want is for him to come home safe.

Hello.

This is Dr. Kramer, Mrs. Carver.

Oh, Dr. Kramer. Uh... Honey, honey. It's Dr. Kramer.

The good news is Dorothy made it through the surgery fine.

But when she was waking up, she had a seizure.

A seizure?

It concerns me.

You have to keep in mind she's not a puppy.

Now, the anesthesia should wear off in the next couple of hours.

And I'll call you as soon as I know anything. All right?

Thank you, Doctor.

Hey... I mean, that's not good news.

Oh. Okay. Turn off the TV, honey.

Okay. I don't want to see them.

Then go hide.

Good morning! Hello. Good morning.

These are the Schuylers. This is Mrs. Carver.

Oh, please. Call me Ruth.

Ruth. I'm Jenny.

Well, good. It's good to see you. Come on in.

Where's Dorothy?

Well, she's recovering from surgery and...

Well, you know, you can have pets.

We don't do pets.

So do you see how the hallway expands the sense of space?

And would you look at the size of the kitchen.

You've got light coming from both directions.

You practically have to wear sunglasses when you have breakfast in here. It's so bright.

So the master bedroom is this way.

Master.

Hello. Yeah. Oh, we're looking at some place.

Reminds me of my grandmother's.

I know. Who's gonna buy a place with the shit that's going on out there now?

So this is the laundry room. Right.

And this is a really large hall closet.

I love the plank floors.

I always hated the parquet floors in our East Side place. Uh-huh.

Who came up with the idea of parquet, anyway?

I don't know. It's like walking on a board game.

I know.

This is the bathroom. Only one?

I told you that, honey.

Jesus. Yeah. I'm listening.

The second bedroom. Sorry.

Oh, hello.

Oh, this is my husband's studio.

And I'm her husband in his studio. How do you do?

Yeah, hold on a second.

Oh, isn't this an amazing view, honey?

Yeah, it's good.

It could be a nursery.

Or a screening room.

She's right, honey.

There'd be a lot of room in here once we got all this stuff out.

No, I told you we weren't doing that.

Does anybody listen to me?

My husband is in the financial sector.

Oh. Was. Is.

We've had a rough couple of years.

That's why we had to sell our duplex uptown.

It's all right.

'Cause our therapist says we need to lower our expectations.

She said it'll be healthy for us.

It'd be good karma to live in a place like this.

Because we don't really need all that much.

I mean, who does, right?

Right.

You could always go live in a cardboard box under the bridge.

This street is very sought after.

Thank you for letting us see it first.

Please. My pleasure.

Shall I show you out? Okay.

Thank you. Okay. All right.

That was a good start.

Yeah, well, the others are gonna be better.

Couldn't be worse.

Stop.

Honey.

So there's good news, and there's bad news.

Okay. Um...

They liked the apartment, or at least she does... Ooh!

... which is usually what matters.

They love the neighborhood... Mmm-hmm.

... but they're a little worried about the stuff on the bridge.

No. But it's gonna be over in a week.

Yeah. That's what I told them, but they said if it happens once...

What's happening?

... that there is no bomb in the tanker.

However, police have not yet ruled out the idea that the suspect may be armed.

Are they still saying this guy is a terrorist?

They don't really know.

If you see something, say something today on this day, years after 9/11.

Ah! Next couple.

Hi. Come on up.

Does he have a device with him? Is he wearing a suicide vest?

We, of course, have more questions than answers.

Great. My God.

It is true, though, Brian, that nothing is being ruled out until they find the suspect.

Of course, we can't confirm if there is actually a bomb.

Then why do you keep talking about it?

'Cause they make shit up as they go along. That's why.

Oh!

Okay. Okay.

Coming, coming, coming.

Okay. Here we go.

Good news. There is no bomb in the tanker.

Did they catch the driver?

No, not yet.

Mrs. Carver?

Yes. And what's the name of your dog?

This is Harold. Can I pet Harold?

No. No, no! He's wearing a vest.

Sorry.

He's in training to be a seeing eye dog.

He's still learning the difference between work and play.

Oh, Mrs. Carver, I'm Annie. Annie Meyer.

Hello. Well, you know, we have a dog.

He's not here now.

Well, no. She's in the hospital. She's recovering from surgery.

Oh, n... Oh! Whoa! Harold, Harold!

Stop, Harold. Heel! Heel!

He must be smelling our dog.

Even so, he shouldn't be doing that.

Oh, he's young, Millicent.

Remember that next time he drags you under a truck.

Harold. No! Okay.

Isn't this an amazing kitchen?

I mean, look at all the cabinet space, the light.

When you have breakfast in here, you're gonna practically have to wear sunglasses.

Am I right? Maybe. I don't know.

So let's go to the...

The living room is right through here.

Can I? Sure, sure.

Oh, my God. Don't touch the dog.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

This is the living room.

Again, you see amazing light.

Oh, yes, it's beautiful.

And here is what I think is the...

Oh, Hello, there.

No, no, Harold. No, Harold. I'm so sorry.

He's not fully trained yet, so...

Oh, wow, what a great room.

Isn't it? Thank you.

Harold, Harold, off. Leave the paintings alone.

Oh, no, it's all right. He might buy something.

Would you like to see the bedroom?

Okay.

Yes. It's just through here.

Oh, that one is lovely.

Are you okay? Yeah. Oh!

Sorry. Oh, sorry.

Everybody's a critic.

Well, what do you think?

Oh, I've seen better.

Yeah. Are you interested in buying?

Me? God, no.

I just like to look. I go to all the open houses.

I'm writing a book about them.

A book. There you go.

Thanks for coming.

People are very interested.

Are you sure about that? Yeah, yeah.

The search for Abdul Pamir is still underway.

There have been a number of unconfirmed sightings and cell phone photos, but he's still out there somewhere.

More good news from the bridge, though, Brian.

The tanker itself has been moved and all lanes reopened.

Excuse me.

Hmm?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Oh, please don't do that, sweetheart. You're gonna break it.

We don't say "no" to Justin.

Well, I can say "no" to him, if you like.

We prefer to explain things to him.

Justin, do you know why it's inappropriate to flick the switch like that?

I don't give a shit.

Adorable. Thank you.

Replace the French doors with glass.

The crown moldings have to go.

And see if the beams are decorative or actually structural.

Oh, can you tell me if the building association will let me see patients here?

What kind of patients?

I'm a psychotherapist.

You've come to the right place.

And this wall. What does this wall do?

Hold up the ceiling maybe?

Thanks.

See if we can take down this bedroom wall. Open it up a bit.

God knows it needs it. Double pane the windows.

Make sure they get rid of all this crap.

Excuse me. Oh, yes.

The tub in the bathroom. What's the deal with the tub?

Oh, well, my husband and I were at Brentfield and we saw this antique...

Thanks.

Make sure that Roberto can take out the fixtures...

This came off.

Oh, well...

Thanks.

I hope you're keeping an eye on things.

I guess.

I wish they would turn the TV off.

Oh, I know. I told them twice already. I can't...

Maybe we should make popcorn.

Oh, no. Not that.

Excuse me. Did you paint the bathroom that color?

No. We were out one night and someone broke in and painted the bathroom.

Is there a lot of crime in this neighborhood?

Did you notice that there's a window in the bathroom?

It's really particularly nice. Come take a look.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Nothing.

I think we should see about how Dorothy's doing.

No, no. Yes.

The doctor said he would call as soon as he knew anything. He did. He...

Oh. Excuse me. Oh, yes.

Can I grow plants on the fire escape?

There's a roof.

Really? Yeah.

And my husband grows plants up there.

Does he? Yes.

Good for him.

I grow mine for medicinal reasons.

Oh.

Oh, hi. I hope you don't mind.

I have to lie down in a bedroom before I know what it's like to sleep in it.

I mean, this is the position I'm gonna be in the most in here, isn't it?

I suppose so.

Oh, my God.

This is an awesome apartment.

We like it.

Would you mind just turning off that light?

No. No.

Thank you.

They make a lot of noise, don't they?

Well, not usually.

How long have you lived here?

40 years.

Wow.

40 years.

That's an awesome view.

Uh...

Yeah.

Yeah, we like it.

You looking to buy?

My mother is.

And which one is she?

She's probably lying down on your bed right now.

Really?

She always does that.

But don't worry. She won't buy it.

Oh? We don't have any money.

Oh, I see.

Why are you selling it?

That's a good question.

You have a dog?

Yeah.

She's in the hospital right now.

What's happened?

She's just old.

What's your name?

Zoe.

Zoe? Mmm-hmm.

Pretty.

What's this?

This, Zoe, is called a turntable.

And it's used to play records.

These records are called LPs. Stands for long-playing.

The way it works is you take this stylus, there's a little needle in there, and very carefully place it on the record.

I like this song.

So do I.

Who's this?

That's my wife.

I like her glasses.

They were all the rage back then.

How much does the school pay you to model?

Um... Five dollars.

Well, 10, if it's more than three hours. So take your time.

I could use the money.

I'm not going anywhere. Not dressed like this, anyway.

You a vet?

Yeah.

Vietnam?

I don't like to talk politics or religion in the studio.

Oh, my God.

In my family, politics is a religion.

You ready?

Wait.

I wanna do something different with you first.

Should I call the cops?

How long have you had those glasses?

Oh, these? I don't know.

Since I was a girl.

Here. Put these on.

No.

Why not?

Well, for one thing, I won't be able to see through them.

Well, I'm the only person in the room who needs to see anything.

Yes, sir.

Take yours off. Give them to me.

You're the first man I ever met who is more interested in getting my glasses off me than my clothes.

Give them to me.

Take them yourself.

Very cool.

That's the woman I wanna paint.

Why did you pick me?

What do you mean?

You know what I mean.

Out of the modeling pool. Like, why did you choose me?

'Cause Camille is much prettier than I am.

Everybody picks her, because, God, she's beautiful!

Beauty's not what I'm after.

Oh! Well, that's a relief.

No, I mean, it's not the most important thing.

So what is?

You're real.

Good answer.

Start painting. You got three hours.

Thanks so much.

And, again, my number is on the sheet, if you have any questions.

Thank you. Thanks.

That was worse than I thought it was going to be.

You ought to make it one of the 10 plagues.

First, locusts, then house hunters.

Okay, so the dog ladies are interested.

I'm going for air. You need anything?

Yeah! No, we're out of milk. Milk.

What? What did you say?

The dog ladies are interested.

Okay.

So are the matching sweaters.

Both have asked for financials on the building.

But, honestly, I don't think we're going to get a real offer, while that madman's on the streets, you know?

Oh, my God.

Sorry. It's later than I think. Okay. I'll be back in an hour.

We did good! Right?

Did we? I don't know.

We're with Debbie Hoffman, the 26-year-old bartender who spent several harrowing minutes last evening held hostage by suspected terrorist Abdul Pamir.

What exactly happened, Debbie?

I was about to take stock of the shop, and then this guy comes in.

And I tell him we don't open up for another hour, but he won't leave.

Did you see a bomb? I don't know.

Could there have been a bomb under his jacket?

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe.

Then what happened?

He looks pretty scared.

And he goes up to the register and he takes out all the money.

Nearly 200 bucks.

And I yell at him to put it back.

But he didn't.

No. He just mumbles something and he runs right out the door.

What was he saying?

You know, who knows? I don't speak Muslim.

Thank you, Debbie.

She thinks Muslim is a language.

Well, there you have it. A harrowing experience.

She ought to get a job with the Diplomatic Service.

Stay tuned. We'll be right back...

It's Lily! The dog ladies made an offer!

Really?

How much?

850. 850?

Well... So low?

It's an offer. That's all.

Yeah. I don't know. What do you think? Should we take this?

What's the rush? What's the rush?

We've only been in the market 20 minutes.

Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, if this guy blows himself up, we might not get a better offer.

Aunt Ruth has a point.

If this guy's a terrorist, I say we wait until this blows over or he blows himself up.

And then the prices go back to where they were.

Okay. Whatever you want. It's your call.

Oh, wait! I'm getting another call!

Hello.

Don't you think we should think about it?

No, I don't.

No? No.

Why not?

Because it's too low.

Okay. That was the matching sweaters and they're offering to go as high as 875.

875?

But you have to decide now, because they don't want to get into a bidding war.

So the offer is only good for 15 minutes.

But what should we do?

So I'm gonna call the matching sweaters, and tell them about the dog ladies' offer.

And then I'm gonna call the dog ladies and just stall them.

This is getting confusing.

Relax! This is what I do.

Mr. Hewitt?

I'm going to call the doctor.

He's gonna say that things are exactly as they were when you called an hour ago.

Ruth, you have got to learn to stop worrying.

But I like to worry. It keeps me calm.

Good news, bad news.

The dog ladies texted, they're thinking of dropping out.

Matching Sweaters said they need more time to discuss it.

What's the good news?

A third party has made a bid.

Who?

The woman with the blue leggings.

Okay, which one was that?

The psychiatrist.

Oh, her.

How much is she offering?

885.

Okay. Should we take it?

You may have a bidding war on your hands.

And once that starts, reason goes out the window.

I have had couples practically offer me their firstborn.

I am gonna call back Dog Ladies and Matching Sweaters, tell them about our new bid.

Then I'm gonna call Blue Leggings and tell her we are considering her offer.

Oh, God. Hi...

What?

It's like we're talking about Indians in the Old West.

Blue Leggings and Lone Eagle.

Stop it.

Twin Sweaters and Running Trout.

Stop it.

Trout don't run.

Okay! Hold on.

Did you get my message?

Yeah, but here's the thing. I don't...

I understand. I will, uh, ask them.

You should pay attention to her. Okay. Bye.

Okay! We've got a...

Hold on.

Um, hello?

Lily? Hi. We'll go up to 886.

Yes.

886. I will let them know.

Yeah.

Okay. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

Okay! Here's where we stand.

Matching Sweaters has offered 886.

See? You were right.

They're bid surfing.

They're trying to ride the crest of the big numbers.

But the first call I got was from the dog ladies.

What'd they say?

They wanna know what number you need in order to stop the bidding.

Well... No, no, no.

Tell them to make their best offer, and we'll give it to whichever is highest.

That's the way it works.

Sounds good. Ah!

Lily Portman and Associates, please hold.

I'm gonna keep you posted. If you go out, you take your cell phones with you.

Lily Portman. How can I help?

Yes.

I'm going to miss all of this. Look at it.

Then why are we moving?

I don't...

Okay. Wait.

Hello?

Yes, this is Dr. Kramer.

Dorothy's come around. She's conscious and she's taking water.

Yeah. That's wonderful.

But we haven't seen any movement in her legs yet.

That doesn't sound good. Does it?

Look...

When can we come and see her? Maybe tomorrow?

It might be good for her. Why don't you come by tomorrow morning?

Well, that would be wonderful. Thank you very much, Doctor.

Well? Well.

She's putting up a fight.

Yeah. What would you expect from our little girl, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

She must be frightened though.

Yeah. She doesn't know where she is.

She doesn't know where she's going.

Like us.

Mmm-hmm.

Like us.

May said they're gonna bring Jackson. He's back from Hawaii.

Look at that.

God help us.

He's a nice boy.

He's not a boy.

He's a 49-year-old man living with his parents.

Off his parents.

All right, all right. I know. He's struggling, okay?

We're all struggling.

Honey, it might be a good time for you to talk to Larry about your paintings.

My clutter, you mean.

No. That's not what I'm talking about.

I mean, when we move, we're going to have to do something about it.

Nobody wants that stuff.

Huh?

What?

Nobody wants...

No, you don't know that.

I'm going to throw it away, I think.

They're your life's work. Oh, my God.

You never change, do you?

Larry said that he landed at 7:00.

So as long as the traffic's not too bad, then he will be there to meet you before he has dinner.

And, this guy, I mean. He's very influential.

His reviews are...

They're all over the place.

Where are you going? Home.

What? Get back here!

You're the artist. Everyone is expecting you there.

No one gives a shit about my work.

I do.

'Cause you have to.

No. I don't. Believe me.

We're gonna get there, the place will be empty.

My work is tedious. It's derivative.

That was one critic.

Oh, my God. You're such a baby.

I mean, is this what you're gonna be like every time you have a show?

No, because I won't have another show.

No one cares about my work.

Larry cares.

Only because he's my friend.

No. He is showing up because he thinks he can make money selling it.

So you should stop whining, and just thank God that you have a friend like Larry.

Should thank May. She's the one who bought him the gallery.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe you should have married a rich girl yourself.

Maybe I should have.

What did I do instead?

I fell in love with some girl from Brooklyn.

Ah, jeez. You were right.

Empty.

Alex Carver, everybody!

Hi, Larry! Thank you, Larry.

Hi.

So, anyway, tell us, how's work going?

He's ghost writing a book for someone.

Really?

Yeah. It's a self-help book.

How do you ghost write a self-help book?

That's what I said!

It pays. And that's all I care about.

Okay.

Right?

How did Dorothy's surgery go?

Okay. Well, she's still not moving her legs.

I don't know what to say. Oh, don't say that!

Oh, for crying out loud. Mother!

For crying out loud what? Mother...

You weren't this upset when Daddy was in the hospital.

Well, because she likes the dog more than she likes me.

Some days that's for sure.

Oh, here we go. Table's ready. Come, come.

You should leave something.

Oh, I forgot to tell you!

I'll take care of it. It's on the bill.

We had the open house this morning.

People came?

They came. They came in droves.

Small droves.

Okay. Small droves.

Okay. I'm sorry. Should we tell them now?

Sure. Why not? Yeah. Might as well.

Tell us what?

Oh. Uh-oh.

I'm making Jackson my new partnerin the gallery.

Really? Yes.

Fishman and Son.

Partners.

50-50.

That's terrific. Thank you.

Isn't that wonderful? Yeah, it is. Oh, yes.

Jackson will bring a more youthful take on things.

Anyway, we were talking today about your show.

Well... You tell him.

We love your stuff, Alex.

Everyone does. I mean...

You've been successful now, what? Thirty, 35 years?

Mmm.

But right now your work is a hard sell.

I mean, the market is skewing younger these days.

Portraits are not high on people's shopping lists.

They'll come back. Sure. Mmm-hmm.

But right now they are not moving like they used to.

And the bottom line is, you wanna sell your stuff. Don't you?

I'm sorry, Jackson. I don't know.

Are we talking about selling art or selling stuff?

Don't shoot the messenger.

No, because artists really don't paint to satisfy "the market."

You see what I mean? Artists actually paint to satisfy themselves.

And if you're going to run a gallery, you know, it's something you need to know.

Relax, Ruth. Yeah, I will.

Jackson is running a business. Don't worry.

Exactly. Exactly. See, a gallery is a business.

I get what you're saying.

You're saying that Alex should paint what people want him to paint.

That's right. That's right.

And then maybe when you have a prospective client lined up, you and Alex can go and you can visit the client's apartment.

And you can see the room where they want to hang the painting.

And you can get some color samples of the wall paint.

Fun.

No, that's not what I meant.

Jackson? Jackson? Ruth is pulling your leg.

No, she's not.

No. I'm not.

I'm not.

You were hard on Jackson.

Well, he better get used to it, if he's going to work with artists.

He's just like Lily. He just wants us to go away.

Okay. Well, if they do, then it's up to us to let them know that we're not gonna go anywhere.

I don't wanna move to Florida and play shuffleboard.

Or live on some bullshit golf range, a million miles from everything we know.

Nobody's gonna go live in Florida.

Then where are we gonna go?

We don't wanna wake up and find ourselves out on the street.

Oh, for God's sakes! Nobody's gonna wake up on the streets.

Alex, why do you always have to be so melodramatic all the time?

I just don't like our lives being in the hands of somebody else.

Well, then fine! Let's do something about it, all right?

Let's take things into our own hands!

All right. How do we do that?

Look at us. We've always done what we wanted to, haven't we?

Yeah.

Right? We got married when it was still illegal in 30 states.

And people kept staring at us in the other 20. Right?

So tell me, what's finding an apartment in comparison to that?

So let's just go get ourselves a newspaper and start looking.

And what are you laughing at?

What are you doing? Why are you laughing at me?

You're reminding me of that girl with the glasses that I painted so long ago.

Yeah? Yes.

Well, here she is. And I'll tell you one thing.

You're not gonna get my clothes off so easily this time, mister.

Wanna bet?

Oh, I've got it. Okay. All right.

I've got it. Take this. I got it, I got it.

Oh. Wait a minute now.

Yeah. What do you think? Where is...

No, no. Look at this. No. No.

Where? Here. Here. Here. Here.

It says this one's... Franklin Street?

Mmm-hmm. "Cute"? What's that mean?

That means it's small. Oh.

So wait a minute. What about over here?

Oh, no. Here's one. Here's one. Here's one.

Look at this one in Brooklyn. It's in Brooklyn.

Uh... Two bedrooms, lots of space and light. Old world charm.

That sounds great, doesn't it?

That's our listing, Alex.

Oh.

Well, in that case, we should be able to get it cheap, right?

You think? Yeah! Why not?

Don't get smart.


What did Dad say?

Oh, your father. He's unsettled.

He's unsettled?

Honey, he thinks you're too young.

I'm older than you were when you got married.

And what about you? What do you think about me marrying Alex?

I don't have an opinion.

Of course you do. What is it?

I'm satisfied.

You're satisfied that I'm getting married?

What do you want?

I want you to be satisfied with that sundae that you're eating.

You know, I want you to be satisfied with the soda that you're drinking.

But you're my mother.

So I want you to be overjoyed that I'm marrying Alex.

You know, at least, I want you to be happy for me.

I'm trying.

Try harder.

Mom is only trying to say that this marriage is gonna be difficult, Ruth.

And what marriage isn't?

There's still so much prejudice, and...

Oh, really, Sarah? Thank you for telling me.

Think of your children.

Think of your children.

Excuse me. Excuse me, sweetheart.

You can tell Dad that he doesn't want to make me choose between my family and Alex.

Because if he does, you can tell him that my choice is already made.

"And foolish though it may seem to me."

This one sounds really nice. Listen.

"Dazzling sun-filled corner two-bedroom, built-in bookcases, "window seats, soaks up the morning sunshine."

That's nice. Yeah.

Where is it?

It's on 73rd and First.

Do we want to live in Manhattan?

Well, I mean, I think it would be a good change for us.

And we'd be close to Larry and May's place, too.

And how much is it?

It's... Well, it's a lot. It's one million, one hundred thousand dollars.

Okay, but... We can't afford that.

Yes, but there's no harm in looking, honey. No harm in looking.

Oh...

Look at her.

She recognizes us, honey.

Look at this girl. Hello.

She hasn't walked yet.

But she's obviously happy to see you.

Of course she is! Of course she is!

Hey. Hey.

Look at her. She's bandaged up.

Can I touch her, Doctor? Yeah, of course.

Oh, yes.

You're so good.

You hang in there, kiddo.

You hang in there, you hear me?

You're such a good girl.

Hang in there.

Good girl. That a girl.

I know she's gonna walk. I know it.

Of course she is. She's a fighter like you.

Like us.

So what's a junior bedroom? What do you mean?

Does it have bunk beds?

Well, if it does, you get the top one. Okay, honey?

This is it. This is it.

You're kidding. Yeah.

No, this is it. It sure sounded better in the paper, didn't it?

We're wasting our time.

No, come on. We're here. Well, let's just look. Okay?

Wait a second. Which...

It buzzed.

Oh, it did. Okay. Got it.

4C. 4C.

Oh, 4C?

Are you sure?

That's what the sign said.

Okay.

That's the...

Come on.

Okay. All right. I'm coming. I'm coming.


Wow.

Don't even bother.

Let me check this...

It's you again.

Hmm.

I'm afraid so.

It's not as nice as your place.

It's not, is it?

Where's your mom?

Where do you think? Lying down on the bed.

How's your dog doing?

Well, she survived the operation, but still hasn't moved her hind legs.

She will.

You think so?

Yeah.

I know things like that.

I see.

I'm gonna go get my mom.

... this time in a taxi.

We're going now to Logan Crawford, who is reporting from underneath the FDR with the abandoned taxi.

What's going on?

Pamir. He hijacked a taxi.

When? This morning.

Really?

.. reporting underneath the FDR Drive.

The driver reported that Mr. Pamir seemed very nervous and he kept on asking, "What are the police doing?"

He also asked about his family and seemed to be saying a prayer.

I don't know. I think that we should take the 885 that Blue Leggings is offering.

No, we don't want to rush into anything.

Okay. Yeah.

It's them! Did you see, honey?

Yeah.

They're not interested in our place anymore.

Now, you don't know that.

Yeah, well they're here, aren't they?

They're just hedging their bets. Wouldn't you?

This whole thing. Oh, please. It's just making me so nervous.

So do you wanna see this place?

Not if it's as bad as the last one.

Well, don't be discouraged. We're just looking.

Yes. I didn't know how bad it could be.

It's in the neighborhood. Remember?

You remember it. It's the sunny two-bedroom.

Yes. It's probably in a basement.

It's in the basement. Yeah.

Okay. I think this is it.

Oh!

This looks nice.

And it's on the ninth floor!

We've never lived that high up before.

What's his... I know what it is. It said Vincent, right?

Here we go.

Yeah. I think that's it.

There we go. There we go. Oh! Oh, sorry.

Here's a flyer for you, if you want to take that with you. Sure.

Oh!

Oh, this is so much nicer.

Really. Didn't I tell you?

Yup.

I mean, look at this entranceway.

I love this kind of an entranceway, honey.

And what about the light?

Yeah. Very good.

It's not even that bright out today.

Honey, I'm gonna go find some water and take my pill.

All right, all right, all right.

Hey.

Piece of shit.

Here.

Oh, hey, you.

Why do they make it so hard to open?

Childproof.

Of course.

Do you like this place?

It's the best we've seen so far.

Put that back for me.

But it's still not as nice as yours.

Nothing is.

I hope you find a place you like.

So do I.

And when we do, I'm going to invite you to tea.

How is that? Cool.

Oh! Sorry.

Okay, I like this place. I really do. I really like it a lot.

Come here. I want to show you something. Just see this room.

Look at this, honey. Look.

Oh!

Yes.

I'm gonna talk to the agent. Okay.

Okay. I'm doing it.

Yeah.

Nowhere is going to have a view like our place.

But maybe Ruth and I have seen all the views we need to.

Maybe views are for younger people who still have things to look at.

Okay. We'll look to hear from you guys this afternoon. Thank you.

Here she is. Here she is.

Oh, hi. Excuse me.

Actually, my husband and I are very interested.

Well, I don't have to tell you, this listing is getting a lot of heat.

Oh, yes. We can see that.

Let me be frank with you.

Can you afford a place like this?

What do you mean? I only ask, because no one's gonna give you a 30-year mortgage.

We don't need a mortgage.

Oh! Well, then make an offer.

The owners are willing to consider anything.

But they're only accepting bids until 3:00.

That's two hours. Mmm-hmm.

Have your offer here by then. They'll make their decision right away.

Okay. All right. Thank you. Okay.

Thank you very much.

Ma'am? Yes?

A lot of people include a personal message with their offer.

What kind of personal message?

Something that persuades the seller to give it to you, in case there's a tie.

Just don't be afraid to pull on the heartstrings.

Oh. Right.

RUTH: How do you like that one talking to us like we don't know anything?

I bet we've got more real money than all those young hotshots anyway.

But I just want to know. What did you think of it?

I liked it.

Really? Yeah.

Let's bid on it.

How? We haven't sold our own place yet.

No, but we will.

We will. We had a bunch of offers.

And you heard the real estate broker say that they are very willing to consider anything until 3:00.

Come on. Don't look at me like that.

Any offer that's, like, until 3:00.

It's a beautiful apartment.

Yeah, it's all right.

It has a lot of light.

Yes. It has light.

It has an elevator. And more room. New paint.

Honey, come on. Let's do it. Come on.

It sounds like something you really want.

In that case, we'll see another doctor.

What for?

He'll say the same thing the others did.

Maybe not.

Alex, you know he will.

It's the most natural thing in the world and I can't even do it.

My mother, my sisters, they churn them out like machines, one after another.

We don't need children.

No one needs children, Alex.

People want them.

I want them. You want them.

Shit!

Shit!

I am a goddamned failure.

You are not a failure.

I've disappointed you.

You've never disappointed me, Ruth.

I can see it in your face.

Stop saying that.

You have classrooms full of children, those are your kids.

That's not the same thing.

Then me.

I'm your kid. You're always telling me what a big baby I am.

Well, you are.

You really like it, don't you?

I do. And, honey, admit it. You do, too.

I mean, I know... I know... Wait a second. I know it's not our place, but we're never gonna find another place like our place.

And we won't find anything better than this.

So, Alex, I mean, it's just... What is it? It's a bid.

It's not a commitment.

It's like... You know, we're not going to find...

They're never going to take it.

Trust me, they're never going to take it.

All right, fine. Let's do it.

Really?

Yeah. Should we call Lily?

No. I mean, you said you thought we should do this ourselves.

So I think we should, but be smart.

What do you think we should offer?

Well... I mean...

Not so low that we have no chance.

I know.

But not so high that we're stuck with something that we can't afford.

So what would be the point of that, right?

Right, yeah.

I don't know. Look, this is what I think. I think $900,000.

That's too low. $910,000.

You think? I don't know.

Well, uh...

You think? $910,000?

$920,000. No, $920,000.

No, but that's too much. That's way too much.

Honey, do you want the place or not?

Yes. I definitely want the place.

I want to be in the running. Yes.

So $920,000.

$920,000.

No. $925,000. It's more impressive.

Whoa! Listen to you! What?

You sound like you're some sort of an auctioneer!

Twenty-five? Okay, do I hear $930,000?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, $930,000.

$930,000?

That's a lot better.

I mean, so what the heck? It's just money.

This is hard to write, when I don't know exactly what these people are like.

Tell them I'm senile and I want to live by the zoo.

Be serious, please.

How about donating a park bench with their name on it?

Okay.

Just tell them we love the place.

Breaking news. The bartender, Debbie Hoffman, who claimed that Pamir robbed her cash register has now been charged with theft and misleading police after she admitted that she took the money.

Yeah.

I knew there was something wrong with that.

Alex? Oh, my God. Alex?

What?

We got the apartment!

What? Already?

Yeah. Isn't that wonderful?

Now, they want us to come over with the check right now.

Right now?

That's what they said.

I don't know. You don't know what?

I mean, I think we should wait.

For what?

Well, we don't wanna be giving our money to somebody with all this going on.

You know what? We're gonna lose this apartment.

That's what we're gonna do. We're not gonna lose it.

Well, what am I going to say to the real estate broker?

Just tell them we... We... We...

What?

Tell them we can't get there right now.

They're gonna take the next best offer, Alex.

No, they won't.

Yes, they are. No, they won't.

Uh...

Wait. Don't pick it up.

Don't! Don't pick it up. Why?

The sellers are getting anxious.

If we don't hear from you soon, they're going to open up the bidding again.

You heard what she said. They're gonna reopen the bidding.

She's bluffing. She's not bluffing.

Right now we're the only ones that are bluffing.

Come on, honey. We've gone this far. We can't back down now.

The last thing we need, Ruth, is for somebody else to be pushing us into something.

Nobody is pushing us into anything.

Take things into our own hands. That's what you said, honey.

I know what I said.

Will you please look at me?

All day yesterday I heard you complain about being treated like garbage and ending up on the streets.

And then finally last night, we decide to make a move, but only if we have total control.

So we look at a few places. And then finally...

Finally we get excited about one, we make an offer and Io and behold we get it. We actually get the place.

And now you wanna back down?

Listen, if you wanna take control, this is how we take control, honey!

All I'm saying, Ruth, is this is a lot of money!

I know! But if we walk away from this we'll just be acting like a couple of old fools!

Hello? Anybody home?

Hey? Oh, my God! Oh.

Everybody is still crazy out there.

I wish they would go ahead and find this guy already. Jesus.

All right. Here's where we are.

Blue Leggings is our last solid bid at 885.

But the dog ladies have called and they wanna come by in a few minutes with a counter bid.

Apparently, they wanna do it in person, because they wanna make some kind of...

What's the matter?

Oh! Aunt Ruth, what happened?

We saw a place this morning.

What do you mean you saw a place?

We went to an open house this morning and we loved it.

You went to an open house today?

If you knew you were ready to look... I don't understand.

Why didn't you call me first?

What? Wait. We don't need to be asking you for permission.

No, I realize that, but I have listings, too.

I have stacks of listings and I have done a lot of work for you.

This isn't the easiest market.

Why didn't you call me first, Aunt Ruth?

I'm sorry, Lily. I really am sorry.

I don't know what I was...

It wasn't her idea. It was mine.

You know, an apartment might not be the best idea for you right now. There are other...

Bullshit! Wait a minute now! We'll decide where we're going to live.

Okay. Okay. Have it your way.

Where is it? This place that you like so much?

It's in Manhattan.

Yeah, it's on 73rd and First.

It's just so beautiful.

And how much is it?

A million, one. A million, one!

Mmm-hmm.

I don't know. We made an offer.

I don't believe this.

Well, they accepted it.

Well, what did you offer?

$930,000.

And they took it?

Yeah. Yes.

That's not bad.

Oh. So we're not such fools after all, huh?

Okay. Okay.

Uh... Let's get real here for a minute.

So nobody buys an apartment nowadays before they sell their own.

Especially not with what's going on out there.

Who's the agent?

I have the card. Wait, I know where it is.

I know I have it. I know where it is. Wait.

A woman, or...

No, no. Wait, wait, wait.

Yeah.

Oh. Okay. Miriam. Miriam.

Miriam... Carswell?

She's a shark! What?

She's gonna eat you for breakfast! What did she say?

They want the deposit.

Well, of course they do. When?

Right now.

What did you tell them?

Well, we haven't called her back yet.

No, but wait a minute. We want this apartment.

Well, then it is crucial that you sell this place fast!

Okay. Okay, give me a minute to think this through.

Um...

I'm gonna... Yeah! I'm gonna call Miriam. Okay. Let me handle her.

Oh, God, she is upset.

Hey, Miriam...

I don't know why she couldn't talk to them in front of us.

I hope we haven't stepped on her toes.

I don't want them making deals behind our backs.

I really didn't know the protocol.

We just saw an apartment we liked and...

Well, she'll live.

Okay, here's where we stand.

I convinced Miriam that you're serious, but that you have to rest.

I reminded her how old you are.

I reassured her that we would all be there by 5:00 with the deposit.

Okay. What time is it, though?

What time do we... It's 3:30.

And the dog ladies will be here any second, so...

Wait, wait, Lily.

Now, aren't we moving a little quickly here?

May I remind you that you're the ones who want to buy a new apartment.

This is how it works. Dog eat dog. You snooze, you lose.

Okay.

And one more thing, I told Miriam that I'm the one who steered you to her listing.

So if she asks, back me up.

The least you can do is help me get a piece of the commission on it, right?

Well, sure. I mean, obviously.

That's only fair, Lily. Okay.

So let me know as soon as you hear the dog ladies' offer.

And keep your fingers crossed that it's at least $950,000, because that's what we need to make this work.

9-5-0.

Otherwise we're screwed.

Man!

She really does talk too much.

Authorities may be one step closer to catching the terror suspect Abdul Pamir.

Police have released security camera footage that appears to show Pamir looking over his shoulder and showing obvious concern. Oh, God.

Doorbell. I know. I know.

Move it. Move it, handsome.

Why, hello. Hi.

I hope you don't mind us just stopping by like this.

We were training Harold in the park.

We're here to make an offer.

Oh, well, please come in. Would you like something to drink?

Anything? Oh, no. We don't want to intrude.

Just give them the bid, Annie. Yes.

So this is as high as we can go.

How is your dog doing?

Mmm... Well, it's actually kind of touch-and-go, so...

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. That's okay.

Harold's actually not doing so well, either.

In school. He has a learning disability.

We think.

Oh.

Give her the... Well, they...

Here you go. So this is our letter.

In case there's a tie.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh, Harold. Sorry.

Thank you.

Harold, you concentrate, now.

Do you hear me?

Don't open that letter till you've read their offer.

What?

I said don't open that letter till you read their offer.

No, I won't. Will you please open it?

Oh.

Hello.

Hi, Lily.

Yep.

The offer is $950,000.

All right.

Yeah. Okay. All right. That's good.

$950,000.

Mmm-hmm. Fine. That's good. All right. Bye.

That is absolutely wonderful. We can make this work.

Is Lily gonna call them and give them the good news?

She's gonna call the others first and see if they wanna make a counter offer.

Yeah?

What?

No. Tell them they can keep their lousy $1,000.

Hang on. Hang on.

What? Lily? Lily, what happened?

The matching sweaters offered $951,000.

But here's the good news.

Dr. Gilbert's gonna e-mail you a counter offer.

Wait. Okay. But who is Dr. Gilbert?

Blue Leggings. Oh, no.

Let me know what it is as soon as you get it.

We have to get over to the other place in half an hour.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay. Bye.

Will you check the e-mail?

Yeah. I know how to use the Internet.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Carver..."

My partner and I moved to New York only a few years ago.

And as you probably know better than most, it's not always been easy for us.

We've been trying to adopt for nearly six years and it looks like we'll finally have a baby daughter.

A little girl from India.

Your husband's studio would make such a wonderful room for her.

Full of light and love.

Please consider letting us live in your wonderful home.

Shoot.

Honey, what? Ruth, do this.

Um...

No, let me get it. Let me get it for you.

Let me get it. It's okay. It's okay. You do it. You do it.

It's all right.

Got it. Got it, got it.

Okay, well. Blue Leggings made an offer.

What is it?

$960,000.

Nine... That's good!

Uh... I don't know. Yeah.

What? You're disappointed?

No. It's just...

Honey, I read the dog ladies' letter.

And I just think we should give them a chance to counter offer. Just...

Ruth, you heard that lady say this was their final offer.

See, I told you not to read that letter.

I know. But they're adopting a little girl.

These people are offering $10,000 more!

But do we really want someone like that living here?

Honey? Do we? I'm just asking.

Ruth? We're talking 10 grand.

All day we've been throwing numbers back and forth, like they don't mean anything.

850, 900, 950.

Sugar, we're not rich.

We need to get a grip on reality here.

I know. You're right. It's just...

I wish we could give it to them.

I wish a lot of things.

I wish we could give our apartment to whoever needed it.

I wish we could give it to that lady on the bed and her little girl.

Most of all, I wish I could run up and down the damn stairs, like I used to, for the rest of my life.

Ugh.

Okay.

It's right there. I got it. I got it. Here it is.

Hello?

Yes. Yes, Doctor.

What?

Really?

What? What?

Really?

She walked. She walked?

She walked?

Yes. Dorothy walked!

I knew she would.

High-five. Yes.

Let me tell you. What?

Once I give them this check...

Yeah.

... there's no turning back. I know.

Everything is different.

Good different, honey. Good different.

We'll see. We'll see.

Now, wait. Okay, here it is.

Who is it?

Oh, my husband and I are here with the deposit.

Hello? Hello, there!

You sure you got the right apartment?

I'm sure. Yeah.

Hello?

We've come to buy the apartment!

Yes, we're... Your broker!

We're meeting with your broker! She told us to meet her here!

I know who you are.

Your agent isn't here yet. You can wait for her outside.

Oh, that's nice. You know what I'm gonna do? I am going to call Lily.

'Cause that's rude. No, no, no. Here comes somebody.

Oh, good.

That's just...

I'm calling Lily.

Lily! Oh!

It's show time.

Okay.

I don't want to take it. I want to wait.

We have to take it. We can't wait.

Who the hell is that?

That's their agent.

I said not later than 5:00.

I'm coming!

For Christ's sake.

Great. They've been holding us hostage all afternoon, now they can't wait to get in.

Hi! Hi. How did you get in?

Uh...

Gentleman with the dog.

So much for security. Come on in.

Oh. Thank you.

This is Mrs. Carver. Hi.

This is Mr. Carver. I'm Lily Portman.

Hi. How are you?

Hi. I'm Lily Portman. How are you?

I need to talk to my wife. This is Mrs. Carver...

Sure. Let's just go inside then.

Okay. Thank you. Great.

I don't want to take the offer. I don't want to take it.

We don't have to take it.

I know. Fine. Okay.

Okay. Let's get down to business.

Hey, Miriam. Hello.

So we have the deposit check.

Great.

What if we refuse it?

Why would you refuse it? Hold on.

'Cause maybe we want to open the bidding back up.

Why would you want to do that?

So we can get better offers.

These two have been holding us hostage all afternoon.

Nobody's been holding you hostage.

Okay. All right. Relax, everybody.

They're here now. And this is the best offer you've gotten.

Especially while all that shit drags on out there.

If you refuse my client's check, it will be up to the courts to decide.

Your kid could be out of college by the time this thing is resolved.

Is that what you want?

Take his damn check.

Okay.

This way.

Do they even know what they're doing?

We know what we're doing.

Who do I make it out to?

Stephen Vincent.

Is that a "P-H" or a "V"?

P-H!

Something's happening.

Oh!

It's the terrorist thing!

What's happening?

It looks like they found him or something.

Logan, what do you see? Oh, my God!

And the suspect in this terrorism plot, Abdul Pamir...

In fact, there he is right now.

I can see him. He's coming out. That's him.

He has his hands over his head.

Yeah. Wow.

RUTH: Uh-oh. He appears to be surrendering.

Now police is sending in a canine unit to sniff the suspect, to see if there is actually a bomb or device.

There is a dog checking the suspect now.

Wait a second. He seems very calm.

That might be a bomb there, though.

The dog has walked off now.

That means there is likely no device, no bomb.

Get him off the streets for good.

Very, very good news indeed. - That's his white flag. Wow.

It's good they got him. Lock him up.

You can hear the choppers up ahead as well.

New York City's Finest is doing their job and they have got their man.

And they are about to put the bracelets on him.

Shoot the son of a bitch.

Right in the balls.

Come on. Look at him. Heck, he's just a kid!

Well, what did you expect?

I don't know. A monster. Anything but this. What did he really do?

That little prick cost me 50 grand. That's what he did.

You need to let it go.

We can all rest easier now, knowing this terrorist is off our streets.

Isn't it a little bit too early to actually convict this young man?

The poor guy.

Poor guy, my ass!

I knew we should have waited.

You are the one that said to take the first decent offer that we got.

I remind you. You are obligated to take my client's offer.

Yes? Yes.

Just... All right. Just sign the thing already. We're gonna sign.

Just sign where indicated, Mr. Carver.

I'm not signing.

Alex, are you all right?

What do you mean you're not signing it?

I mean I'm not signing the damn thing.

What's he talking about?

Jesus Christ. Give me a break.

We don't want your apartment.

Alex, what are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing, Lily?

I'm putting an end to this bullshit.

All day long we've been pulled back and forth, back and forth.

Only to come up here and hear these two accuse us of I don't know what!

Nobody is accusing you of anything. I understand that's what...

No... Whoa, whoa. Wait.

Please. Let him finish, okay?

We don't want your apartment. Put it back on the market.

I hope they get a billion dollars for it!

You know, when one door closes, another door opens.

Okay. Thank you, Lily. Thanks.

Alex? Alex?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I gotta get out of here.

No... Wait a second.

Wait. You can't just storm off like that.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Ruth.

But seeing that young man, kneeling on the ground like that.

It just made me realize that we're just like everybody else today.

Getting all worked up over nothing.

Yeah.

Why are we moving? What are we chasing?

Haven't we built a good life?

I only meant to help. I didn't mean to hurt you.

I know that. I know. I know, Ruth.

You know, you're probably gonna live to be 100.

Mmm-hmm.

I hope so.

I don't want to live without you.

And I really don't care. You know that, right?

I don't care if we stay in Brooklyn or we move to Moscow.

I just want what's best for you.

And us.

Let's go home.

God, I love you, you silly old man.

I don't know what just went down in there, but it could work for us.

You lost this place. It doesn't matter. I've got plenty of others.

The good news is that you didn't accept any of the offers on your apartment.

And what he said is true, things are gonna go up, now that that idiot's off the streets.

And we could hold out for a million dollars. Maybe more.

No, Lily...

No? No, what?

Too much?

No. It's too little!

We're not holding out, Lily. We're not selling.

What do you mean? I've got solid offers. I can get you better ones.

You can't back out now.

Lily, we can do whatever the hell we want.

But...

Selling is the right thing for you.

It's the right thing for you.

You're just acting this way, because you're scared.

We're not scared. We're doing it, because it's the right thing to do.

And he's right, Lily. We don't need to sell right now.

Will you just... Will you just stop for a minute?

What?

Listen, you cannot live in that apartment forever.

We can't live anywhere forever.

No, but we can manage there for a while.

This is ridiculous.

What about all the work I put in, Ruth?

There's just really nothing more to say. I'm sorry.

Well, then I'm gonna say it.

You're a crazy old man, who doesn't know what's good for you.

Hey, no, you do not speak to him like that!

And you're no better!

Fuck you both!

I guess we won't be going to her place for Thanksgiving this year.

You hate her stuffing, anyway.

It took a while for Dorothy to get back on her feet.

But, by the time winter set in, she and I had returned to our usual routine.


Hi. I thought that was you two.

Hey. What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing, honey?

Look at you.

Did you manage to get any paint on the walls?

Funny.

What? Didn't that bad man feed you?

Yes. She ate.

She doesn't think so.

Well, she is either confused or lying.

Here. How's it going in there? Oh, thanks.

Well... Uh, it's going.

Good.

Mmm-hmm.

Can I see? Mmm-hmm.

See, nobody told me that painting would be this hard.

Oh, jeez. I'm sorry about that.

Not sorry enough. What do you think?

Huh?

It's good, huh?

Yeah. It looks very good.

I like it better than this gray that you chose.

Thanks.

Why are you still painting this old lady?

What old lady?

Ooh.

Good answer.

Look at that.

Those few days were like one big roller coaster ride.

And, like most rides, we ended up where we began.

Still, it reminded us who we are.

What we have.

It was worth it, if only for that.

Maybe one day we'll sell.

Stop climbing the stairs.

But for now we'll just deal with what is.

The important thing is it brought us back here. Together.

Back to our senses. And to our home.

Improved By: Fidel33