A Goofy Movie (1995) Script

Yeow-hoo-hooeee!

Maa-ax!

Mae-ax“!

Maa-ax!

Roxanne?

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Ahh. Oh!

What's wrong?

Argh!

Argh! Ooo-ooo.

Aah! Oh!

Argh! No! Look!

Ayuk! O-O-Oh!

Uh... Ahh! Hello? Ahem. Hello.

Max, where the heck are you, man?

- P.J.? You should've been here an hour ago.

What? What are... Hold on.

Oh, no!

Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off.

No way, man.

It's now or never. Oooh!

You better get a move on. I'll meet you at my locker.

Ayuk! Mornin', son!

Dad!

Oops! I forgot.

Ayuk! Mornin', son!

Came to see if you had any... dirty clothes.

Well, there they are. Help yourself.

Max, I thought we talked about this.

Look, I'm sorry, Dad. I-I'll take care of it later. Ow!

What's the big rush? I'm running late.

I could drive ya on my way to work.

Uh, no. No, thanks.

I, uh, need the exercise. Aw, come on, Max. Huh?

Dad! No, don't do it!

Don't... No!

Oh, Dad, you ruined it.

Sorry 'bout that.

Who was he, anyway?

It's only Powerline, Dad. The biggest rock star on the planet.

Ooh, not bigger than Xavier Cugat, the Mambo King.

Everybody mambo! Boom-boom-boom, boom-boom-boom Dad, there's no time for this. What if the neighbors see us?

Boom-boom-boom'

Maxie, wait up!

You forgot your lunch.

Have a good day! Duh... Ah!

Huh.

They've been laughin' Since I can remember But they're not gonna laugh any more No more "Maxie the Geek"

No more "Goof of the Week"

Like before'

No more algebra tests 'til September No more lookin' at losers like him'

- No more havin' to cheat No more mystery meat

- No more gym No more gym

- No more gym No more gym

- Gonna move to the mall Gonna live in the pool

- Oh! Gonna talk to Roxanne And not feel like a fool'

'Cause after today I'm gonna be cruisin'

After today, she'll be mine After today, my brains'll be snoozin'

If I don't faint, I'll be fine I've got 40 more minutes Of home economics

- Then down with the textbooks And up with the comics Just think of all The time I've been losin'

Finding the right thing to say'

But things'll be goin' my way After today She looked right through me And who could blame her'

I need a new me'

Plus some positive proof That I'm not just a goof And after today, I'm gonna be cruisin'

No more pep rallies to cut Yuck!

After today, our brains'll be snoozin'

I'm gonna sit on my butt I've got less than an hour And when this is ended'

- I'll either be famous Or you'll be suspended Just think of all the time I've been losin'

Waiting until I could say Gonna be on my own Kiss the parents goodbye Gonna party from now 'til the end of July Things'll be going my way After today I wish that this was the day...

After today Whoa! Dah! Argh!

Are you all right? Yeah, yeah. I'm okay.

I just, uh... Dah...

Ayuk!

Oh.

Argh!

I can't believe I did that!

Urgh! She finally says "Hi" to me, and what do I do?

I... choke! Urgh!

Ayuk!

Like a big spaz! Where have you been, buddy?

Uh. Hi, Peej. Did you get the camera?

Look, Max, if my dad catches me with this, he'll kill me!

Are you sure we gotta do this?

It's my only chance, Peej.

To Roxanne, I'm... I'm just a nobody.

But after today...

Bobby!

Wow, look! All this is for us?

Mmm, slurpage!

Oh, this is gonna be so great, man!

Dude. Need fund-age, bro.

Oh, your fee. Yeah, yeah. Right here.

Ahhh!

Cheddar! Aah-ooh!

Cheddar whizzy!

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. It's pretty scrumptious.

Ha-ha! Let's do it, ladies!

As student body president, I just wanna say like "yea"...

To all of us for a really neat year. Yo, Stacey!

Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, baby!

And also that I hope you can all attend my totally amazing end-of-school party next Saturday to watch the Powerline concert live on pay-per-view.

Thank you, thank you very much.

And now, without further ado, Principal Mazur.

Thank you, Stacey.

And good morning, boys and girls.

You know, every year on the last day of school I have several youngsters approach me and say, "Principal Mazur, what can we do to not waste our summer vacation?"

"We don't want to waste our free time"

"sleeping or visiting friends.” Say, Roxanne, about Stacey's party.

How you, uh... How you doin' down there, Bobby?

Don't give me that attitude, you guys. I'm doin' it all for you.

This is nuts.

I don't know why I let you guys talk me into this.

If my dad finds out, he's gonna nuke my entire existence... Ah!

...of the element, or...

Heh-heh-heh.

I hope this works.

How about... science slumber parties?

Huh?

Wha...

Hey!

I'm not gonna just... Aaah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!

Some people settle For the typical things Livin' all their lives Waitin' in the wings It ain't a question of "if" It's just a matter of time Before I move to the front of the line'

Once you're watchin' Every move that I make You gotta believe That I got what it takes Whaaa!

To stand out above the crowd Even if I've gotta shout out loud'

'Til mine is the only face you'll see Gonna stand out 'Til you notice me, yeah A little smoke-age!

If I can make you stop and Take a look at me instead of just Walkin' by There's nothin' that I wouldn't do If it was gettin' you to notice I'm alive All I need is half a chance A second thought, a second glance To prove I've got whatever it takes It's a piece of cake.

To stand out above the crowd'

Wow! Who's that guy?

'Til mine is the only face you'll see Gonna stand out...

Hey, it's the Goof boy!

We're busted!

Hmph.

Gaga-booja-boo boo-boo-boo.

Ayuk! Come on, smile!

Smiley-Wiley!

Blaa-aa-aa. Ayuk!

Oh, come on, Kimmie. Gimme a big...

Ahh!

Whee!

Ahh! Whee!

Ahh.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Stop goofin' around!

We got work to do!

Okay, Kimmie, back to Mommy now.

Ayuk! BIaa-aa-aa. Ahh.

You're such a cute little girlie.

Mmm. Oh, come back and see me.

Oh, you have such a way with children.

"You have such a way with children."

Pah!

Okay, now. Who's next over here?

Step aside, Goof. Let a pro Show you how it's done.

Okay. Who's next over here? Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ooh, hello, precious...

Oooh! Oooh!

You lucky woman. Heh.

Now, now, you come on here, honey.

It's picture time. Come on. Peekaboo!

She's so cute. Peekaboo!

Gosh, Pete, you sure are good with kids.

Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. Argh!

Ha-ha. Why P.J., he's been beggin' me to take him on vacation this summer.

Really? Where ya goin'?

Campin'!

Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and a son.

Argh! Max'd never go for anything like that.

I don't know, Goof. Ooh! Gimme, gimme.

Somethin's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents.

Well, for all you know, he's runnin' around with some gang, and stealin' stuff, and causin' riots and...

Waaa! Gimme!

Oh, Max is a good kid.

He'd never get mixed up in somethin' like that.

I'm a failure.

Complete loser.

My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.

Uh-huh!

Max, look.

It's the Leaning Tower of Cheese-a. Huh.

Oh, man.

My dad is gonna smash me like a bug.

Hey, P.J., detention!

Robert Zimuruski.

Okay. I'm comin'.

Max, here.

Guard this with your life, dude.

Hey, Maz-u-ur!

What's up, bro? All right.

Then my parents' air conditioner went on the fritz.

I figured with all those kids in my house, the place a be like a sauna.

So I'm all freaked out, but then I thought, like, use it.

So my theme's gonna be, "Powerline Goes Rain Forest."

Too much?

Roxanne, are you listening?

Oh!

Stacey, no! I don't wanna... Talk to him.

Ahem!

A-A-Ahem'. Hmm.

Tap him.

Gosh, I'm sorry. It's okay... really.

Um, I liked your dance.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah, it's from Powerline's new video.

I know. H-He's totally a genius.

Yeah. He's doing a concert next week in LA.

Oh, yeah. Stacey's showing it at her party.

Yeah! Yeah.

Um, uh, Roxanne...

I was, uh, sorta, kinda thinkin' that maybe I'd, um, ask you to, uh, go with me, that is to the... party.

Of course if you don't want to, I'd completely understand.

Well, I was sorta, kind of thinkin' that... I'd love to.

Yeah? Yeah.

Good. Great.

Terrific. Wonderful.

All right. Okay.

C'mon, Roxanne. We don't want to belabor the moment now, do we?

Well, I'd better be going.

I'll, uh, call you later.

Okay.

Bye. Oh.

Bye.

See, that wasn't so bad. I told you men are easy to deal with.

Yes! She said yes!

Ya-ha-ha-hoo!

Everybody mambo! Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah

- Oooh! Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah It's not my break yet! Ooh!

- Oooh! Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her.

Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah'

Miss Maple! Yes, sir?

Get that boy's father on the phone at once!

Right away, sir! Whoo!

Hello.

Ah, yes. Mr. Goof.

This is Principal Mazur.

I'm calling in regard to your son Maximilian.

Max? Oh, my gosh! Is he hurt?

No, Mr. Goof.

He's in trouble!

Trouble? What kind of trouble?

- Dressed like a gang member... {Sang member? your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!

Riot? Couldn't be my... If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously reevaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up in the electric chair!

The electric chair?

Oh!

What am I gonna do?

Blue light special on aisle three.

Blue light special on aisle three.

Lake Destiny.

Okay, kiddo. Now, smile!

Lake Destiny, Idaho!

Lake who-did-ho? You were right, Pete.

Nothin' like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son.

You said so yourself. Well, yeah, but...

I'm goin' fishin'! Ayuk!

I'm goin' fishin' with my boy!

Yeah.

Okay, precious, gimme a big smi...

Fishing! Fishing!

Cool concert, lad.

What? You wailed, bud!

Hey, Max, wicked dance. Thanks.

Forget it, girl. He's Roxanne's.

Way to go, man!

I just heard about you and Roxanne.

Oh, Pete! OW!

See, see? I told you our plan would work!

Max! Max! Max! Peej, knock it off. Come on. Shh.

Maximum! Maxi-mu-um! Max! Max!

Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!

Max! Max! Max! Yeah!

All I need is half a chance A second thought, a second glance To prove I've got whatever it takes It's a piece of cake.

To stand out above the crowd'

Even if! gotta shout out loud

'Til mine is the only face you'll see Gonna stand out Stand out, heh Stand out'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Stand out'

'Til mine is the only face you'll see Gonna stand out'

'Til you notice me

Goin' somewhere, Pop?

Sure are, pal-a-roony. Cool. Have a good time, Dad.

If you're gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line.

But, Max, this isn't just my vacation.

It's a vacation with me and my best buddy.

Oh, Donald Duck? No, silly. With you!

Are you okay, Maxie?

Wh-What did you say?

That's right!

A vacation, son!

We'll spend some real quality time together!

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Hey, got a present for ya!

Dad, stop that! What are you doing?

You look just like I did at your age.

Please don't say that, Dad.

Wait! I saved the best for last. Ayuk!

It's been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof.

And now, it's yours, son.

A stick? No, silly.

A fishin' pole!

Fishing? We're going fishing?

Yep. Just like my dad and me did.

Two best buddies fishin' on Lake Destiny.

Away from it all!

I don't wanna be "away" from it all, Dad.

I like "it all"!

Look, Maxie, we're using the same map me and my dad used.

We'll take the same route, and make the same stops...

And see the same sights. Ahh!

But that trip would take weeks, Dad! Exactly!

Gettin' there is half the fun.

Put the map away, Dad.

It's not gonna happen. I'm tellin' ya. Careful, son. You'll wrinkle my past.

Ayuk! And our future.

What the map says, Max, we will follow.

That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but, uh, seriously, there's this party I have to go to. And there's this girl...

There'll be plenty of time for parties when you're older.

Why, when I was your age I'd never even been invited to a party.

Look at me now! Great, Dad.

Hop in, Maxie. No.

All right, then.

Guess I'll just have to go... all alone.

That's all.

Just sit in the boat all alone... and talk to myself.

All alone. I guess so.

Oh, come on! Hop in! No, Dad.

Just hop right in there. No.

Come on, Maxie. Go for it! Argh! No.

Let's buckle you up!

And we're ready for takeoff! Ayuk.

Set for adventure, Maxie?

Why are you doing this to me, Dad?

'Cause I don't want ya to end up in the electric chair.

Electric chair? What are you...

I'm not givin' up on ya, son.

Together, we're gonna work this out.

Work this out? But, Dad!

No buts about it, Maxie boy.

Your ol' pop knows best. But...

Goodbye, house. Goodbye, mailbox.

Goodbye, pile of broken wood.

Goodbye, hopes.

Goodbye, dreams.

Goodbye, Roxanne.

Roxanne!

Dad, I gotta stop somewhere first. I have to talk to someone.

Well... Turn here!

D-Dad, watch out! Aaah!

Stop here. Here! Pull over!

Now, make it quick, Maxie boy.

We gotta put some road behind us.

You get and cancel your first date in less than an hour.

Must be some kind of lame-o record.

Hi. Is Roxanne home?

M-M-My name's Max.

Does Roxanne live here?

Does she even live on this block? Ha-ha. Wait!

It's okay, Daddy. Max is a friend from school.

Oh.

Go on. Go on. Good Daddy.

Hey, Max. Hi, there.

You wanna... uh, have a seat?

Hey. Uh... oh.

Daddy!

I promise, he'll be better behaved when you pick me up for the party.

Yeah, that's, uh, sorta why I came by.

I'm really looking forward to it, Max.

Yeah. I was too. Was?

You see, my dad's on this stupid father-son kick and...

Don't worry about it, Max. It's just a dumb party.

No, it's not. Roxanne, I really wanted to go with you.

Max, I understand. Really, it's okay. But my dad surprised me.

I don't wanna go, but I have no choice.

I'm sure I can find someone else. Someone else?

I'll just talk to you later. Uh, uh, Roxanne!

Uh, my dad is, uh...

My dad's taking me to the Powerline concert in LA.

Your dad's taking you clear across the country just to see a concert?

Uh, well, you see, uh, my dad... uh, knew... knows... knows Powerline.

They used to play together, in a band!

Yeah! Come on, son!

Let's get this Show on the road!

Uh... Just a minute!

You... party animal, you.

You're really serious. Absolutely.

So, uh... you aren't still thinkin' of goin' with someone else, are you?

Well, I guess... Because I was hopin'...

I could, uh, wave to you onstage when we join Powerline for the final number.

This is incredible.

Well, I wouldn't miss our date for anything that wasn't incredible, Roxanne.

Mwa.

Have a great time at the concert, Max.

I'll see you on TV!

Ah. I'm in deep sludge.

Day one.

Well, here we are, out on the open road, retracin' the steps of my boyhood.

And here's Maxie! A yuk!

Say hi, Max.

- Well, how 'bout a wave? Not now, Dad.

Ayuk! What a kidder!

Hmm.

Fun games I used to play with my dad.

Road bingo. Twenty ques... Hey, Maxie.

Let's play a game.

You think of a name, and I'll try and guess who it is.

Uh, man or woman? Oh, man.

A man, huh?

Hmm, that's a toughie.

Uh, let's see.

Walt Disney! Right.

I'm good at this.

Now, uh, I'll think of one.

Hmm.

Oh! You wanna sing a song, huh?

Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time.

High hopes He's got high hopes He's got high apple pie kin the sky hopes'

Oops, there goes another...

Oops, there goes...

Oops, there goes...

Oops...

Oh, g-great, Dad. Now we don't have any music!

Oh, Maxie. It's not so bad.

We'll just have to entertain ourselves!

Putt-putt-poof!

Putt-putt-poof!

Ping-ping-ping. Putt-putt-poof!

Ping-ping-ping. Ping-ping-ping.

Ping-ping-ping. Putt-putt-poof.

Ping-ping-ping. Putt-putt-poof.

Do ya need a break from modern livin'?

Do you long to shed your weary load?

If your nerves are raw And your brain is fried Just grab a friend And take a ride together On the open road Come on, Maxie! Ayuk!

All in all, I'd rather have detention An in all, I'd rather eat a toad'

Yuck!

Old man drives like such a klutz'

That I'm about to hurl my guts Directly...

Upon the open road There's nothin' can upset me

'Cause now we're on our way Our trusty map will guide us Straight and true Roxanne, please don't forget me I will return someday'

Though I may be in traction when I do

- Me and Max relaxin' like the old days This is worse...

-...Than dragon breath and acne In a buddy-buddy kind of way I'm so mad I think I may explode

- When I see that highway I could cry That's funny, so could!

Just bein' out on the open road

Howdy, boys Is this the way to Nashville?

Watch it, Mac!

Or you'll be gettin' towed I'm in no hurry to arrive

'Cause I'll be turnin' sixty-five The next time I sees the open road

- Just a week of rest and relaxation Yeah!

And the odd romantic episode Very odd!

And it's Califor-ni-a or bust Look out, you dirt-bags, eat my dust From now on, I own the open road'

It's me and little Maxie'

My pip-squeak pioneer They're partners forever, westward ho Yee-haw! Yee-haw!

Could someone call a taxi And get me outta here?

To Beverly Hills 90210 Oh, every day, another new adventure Every mile, another new ZIP Code And the cares we had are gone for good And I'd go with them if! could I got no strings on me'

I'm feelin' fancy free How wonderful to be'

On the open ro-oad Re-cad '

You'll all do-do-do-do'

Do-do-do bum-bum-bum Grandpa! Grandpa!

Dad, you're gonna get us killed!

Why don't you just give me the map? Oh, no thanks, son.

Navigating's a big responsibility.

Besides, you wouldn't wanna spoil the big surprise!

I'm takin' you someplace pretty special.

Gosh! It's even better than I remembered.

No, Mommy! I don't wanna go!

Yeah, fun. Tell you what...

I'm just gonna wait here in the car. Ayuk!

You party pooper! Come on.

This is gonna be fun!

Oh, howdy there, folks.

Lester's is proud to present... the Possum Posse Jamboree.

Here it is.

Oh, boy! Just in time.

Howdy, folks.

Who's your favorite possum?

Lester!

Got us a seat right up front.

LESTER: Let me introduce you to the posse.

Here's Beuford, Beulah, and Mordachai.

Hey, Lester, ready for yodelin'? Ha-ha-ha.

Sure am, Beuford!

Now gather 'round my possum pals Join the jamboree Come hoot and howl And holler from the heart...

This is pathetic.

- Here in Lester's Possum Park Join in, folks.

This is yodelin' time!

Yodel-lay-ee, yodel-ee-oo'

Yodel-ee-oo, ooo-ooo-ooo'

Lester's Possum Park'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Ayuk! Yodel-lay-ee, ooo-ooo-ooo Don't you wanna be Mm-hmm.

- A-hangin' from a tree? Uh-huh.

We're mighty glad to see ya And the parking's always free Here at Lester's Po-Po'

Po-Possum Park'

Doodle-do, diddle-do'

Hey, that's the ticket!

I'll be right back, my little possum pal.

My life's a living...

Hello, little buddy!

Who's your favorite possum?

Don't touch me.

Aww. Why such a long face?

You're so sad.

I know! You need a big hug from Lester.

Don't even think about it! No! See?

Now you feel all good inside.

Beat it, doofus!

Oh, no. No, Dad. Not that. Please. Here you go, sport.

What say we get our picture taken?

You have got to be kidding. Oh, all right.

But you're missin' out.

Urgh. Huh?

Hiya, son!

Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!

Say "sassafras."

Sassy-frass!

Argh!

Ahh! Get it! Get it!

That's the spirit, Maxie!

Whoa! No!

Dad, stop! Please! No!

Dad, look, this is embarrassing.

No, no, no!

Let go! Dad!

Ta-da! Ayuk.

It's Dork and Dork Junior! Hah-hah-hah!


Argh! Max!

Hey, what the heck you tryin' to do?

Trying to get away from you! Me?

What'd I do? Forget it!

I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?

Nothin'. Let's just go.

Well, come on!

Hey, you dropped your hat.

Ah! This is the stupidest vacation!

You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car, then drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat Show!

Call me when the trip's over.


Hey, Max.

You wanna get in some fishin' practice?

Just a couple of days 'til we get to Lake Destiny.

Maybe later.


Whoa!

Now that's camping.

Did you say somethin', Max? Ow!

Pete? Goofy?

Oh-ho! What a serendipity doo-dah!

Who'd've thunk it, huh?

Is P.J. here? Who? Oh, yeah.

I'm sure he's loafin' around here somewhere.

It ain't a question of how Just a matter of when'

You get the message That I'm trying to sing I'm under a spell, I'm in over my head And you know I'm goin' All of the way to the end What a goob!

To stand out above the crowd Even if you got to shout out loud No matter what the look is It's Max, I get...

Max! H-H-Hey!

Whoa! Small wilderness, dude.

Didn't expect to run into you. Apparently not.

You're just jealous, man, 'cause you ain't got the moves!

Yeah, you can keep the moves.

But I wouldn't mind havin' this RV. Oh!

You are so lucky, man. Me? Oh, come on. You're the star.

Wh-What do you... Going to the Powerline concert.

Ah! It's unbelievable, man. Who told you about that?

Hey, come on. Everybody in town knows about it, Max.

You are gonna be famous, buddy.

Especially with Roxanne.

There's, uh, only one person who doesn't know about it yet, Peej.

Who? My dad.

So tell me, Goof.

Is that kid of yours still givin' you guff?

Oh, I don't know what's wrong.

Just seems like everything I try only drives Max further away.

Maybe I oughta just back off, I don't know.

Wrong, Goof.

Look, if you keep 'em under your thumb, they'll never end up in the gutter.

Too bad, Pete. Almost.

Almost? Hah!

Watch this.

PAH!

Here, sir. Comin', sir. Yes, sir.

Whoo-hoo! Strike-Ola!

Yee-haw! Thank you. Thank you. Yes!

And the crowd goes wild! Ahh-ha-ha-ha!

High five, son!

Psych!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Say, Goof, why don't you two stay for dinner?

Cool! Oh, no thanks, Pete.

Max and I have some fish to catch. Dad, we can do that tomorrow.

So, uh, what're we havin'?

But, Max, I thought... Ahem! Under your thumb, Goof.

Maximilian! What?

Get your gear, little man.

We're goin' fishin'!

And I mean now!

Dad, I don't even know how to fish.

Oh, now come on. That never stopped me!

Let me Show you a little family secret, handed down through about 12 or 13 Goof generations.

The perfect cast!

The perfect what?

The perfect cast.

My dad taught it to me when I was about your age.

Okay now, watch carefully.

You gotta be l-l-loose.

Relaxed, with your feet apart.

And... ten o'clock, two o'clock...

Quarter to three, tour jeté.

Twist, over, pas de deux.

I'm a little teapot And the windup!

Huh?

And let her fly!

The perfect cast.

And now we reel her in.

Grrr. Ah! Ooh!

Oof! Grrr!

Whoa! Grrr!

Quick, get the camera!

Must be over three pounds.

I don't wanna miss this!

Look, Max!

A... duh, D-Dad?

It's Bigfoot!

Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? You're out of focus.

What's the idea?

Bigfoot!

Behold the legendary Bigfoot!

Fabled, but seldom... Yeow-hoo-hoo!

It's locked! Quick! The sunroof!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Huh?

Whoa!

I can't believe it!

Bigfoot!

And I got the only video!

We're gonna be famous!

Huh? Grrr.

Let's just get outta here.

Ha-ha!

Ooh.

Is he gone yet?

Mm-mm-mm-mm?

Nnn. Bb-fftt. Bb-bbb-bbb.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Nope. He's still here.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Gee, Max, was that Bigfoot or your stomach?

Man, I'm starving.

Ayuk! Alphabet Soup comin' up.

Huh?

Uh, Dad?

Dad!

Stop playing around! He's coming!

You can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man No time to talk'

I've been kicked around Since I was born But then it's all right, it's okay Well, it's nice to know this thing's good for somethin'.

Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive...

What's so funny?

"Hi, Dad" Soup.

Huh?

Don't tell me you don't remember "Hi, Dad" Soup!

Oh, come on. Sure you do.

You used to spell things out using the letters, like, uh, "Hi, Dad,"

Or Maxie, or... Ambidextrous?

Yeah! That's... Huh?

No! Little words like...

Hasta la vista? Like "Bye-bye."

Or "I pledge allegiance"... Ayuk-ayuk. Or "I love you."

Is, uh... is it soup yet?

Oh, oh. I almost forgot.

Whoa! Where'd you learn to do that?

Your granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite.

You two did a lot together, huh?

Yep.

Max, you and I... Dad, I'm sorry...

Um, um... how's the soup?

Not bad. Um, not... Ahem.

What? N-nothin'.

Well, we might as well get some shuteye.

I don't think we're goin' anywhere tonight.


Hi, Maxie.


"Dear Roxanne, "I couldn't sleep...

"so I thought I'd drop you a line.

"Dad and I are having a great time! We're only days away from LA.

"and I can hardly wait for the big concert.”

More "Hi, Dad" Soup, please.

"Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied, "but I'm not really going to the Powerline concert.

"You may never want to see me again... ” Oh, man.

I'm dead no matter what I do!


How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

Ah... three and a half?


Pickup! Hold your horses.

Short stack? Right here.

Here you go, hun. Eggs?

Eggs?

Eggs! Oh, yeah, yeah. Right here. Sorry.

Here you go, cutie.

Max, I think we need to talk about this. Huh?

Seems to me you need to start taking some responsibility around here.

Excuse me. Can I have your attention, please?

I, Goofy, hereby dub my son Maximilian...

Official Navigator and Head "Which-Wayer“ of this here road trip.

Isn't that nice? Hee-haw!

Seriously?

I'm not even lookin' at the map any more.

As a matter of fact, you can pick all the stops from here to Lake Destiny.

I trust you wholeheartedly, son.

To the open road!

To the... open road!

Wha-hoo! Wha-hoo!

Ooh! Ow!

Ya-hoo! Woo-hoo!


Oh boy!


Whoa!

Oo-oo-waah!

Wah-ha-hoo! Oof!

Gosh!

Whoa-ho-ho!

Check out the bed!

Check out the dresser!

Coral!

Nice lamp.

Classy choice there, Navigator.

This is the police! Huh?

We've got the place surrounded, see? You Goofs come out with your hands up.

You should've seen the look on your face!

Ayuk! You really had him fooled, Pete! Me?

You jumped outta your skin!

I was just pretendin' for your sake. All right, sure!

Did too! Did not!

Oh, ain't this sweet?

Don't let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act now.

Under your thumb!

So... since we're all bein' palsy-walsy here, -how 'bout lettin' me hook up the RV? Well...

Oh, it's just a tiny extension cord. You'll hardly even notice it.

Okay. Great! P.J.!

“PA. GRUNTS)'

Hey, Goof, why don't you order us a pizza? This might take a while.

No, I mean it... Ahh! Here you go, kids.

I'm gonna check out the hot tub.

Okay, sir. All right.

I can't believe you, man.

Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?

It wasn't stupid! Come on! It was really stupid.

Changing the map?

I didn't know what I was doin', all right? I-I was panicked.

Oof-oof-oof.

Oh-oh-ah-ah!

Ah!

Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh?

Can't say I blame ya.

People are always puttin' too much water in these things.

80, um... you and your son seem to be, uh, gettin' along just hunky-dory, huh?

Yeah, it's been great!

You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me.

The harder I tried, the worse it got.

Once I eased up, things just clicked! Oh, that's swell.

So, there's no problems then, huh?

Not a one!

That's, uh...

I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but uh...

What is it, Pete?

Your kid's dupin' ya. What do you mean?

Well, I heard the little mutant tellin' P.J. that he changed the map, so you're headin' straight to LA, pal.

What? Oh, you tried, Goof.

He's just a bad kid, that's all.

I don't believe you.

What? I don't believe ya, Pete!

Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.

I don't need to check the map.

I trust my son.

You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be.

But... he loves me.

Hey, my son respects me!

Yeah.

Check the map, Goof!


Hi, Dad.

Sorry about the mess. I-I'll clean it up.

Me think I better go. See ya, Peej.

Don't forget... Powerline! Shh!


Well, here you go, Navigator.

Just follow my route on the map, son.

Okay.

Um, huh...

Here comes our junction.

Okay, Max, now this is it. Left or right?

Uh...

Come on, Max!

Uh, left!

Uh... how 'bout a song, Dad?

Uh... a game?

A game. Yeah! Yeah, a game. Okay.

Uh... a man or woman?

A man? Man, okay. Uh... Walt Disney!


Dad...

Listen, about my directions...

Will you listen to me? I gotta tell you somethin', Dad.

Why bother? I'm probably too stupid to understand anyway.

Right?

Ah, forget it.

H-H-Hey, the car!

What? Now you want to drive, too? No, Dad.

The car! Look!

The car!

What'd you do now, Max?

I didn't do anything, Dad. I only touched it.

WW-Whoa“!

You looked it!

I looked it? It's your door. You looked it.

Well, you distracted me.

Whoa!

You should've put the brake on.

Why don't you just put it on yourself?

See? You ruin everything.

W-well, y-you r-ruined the vacation.

I ruined it?

I never... wanted to go... on this stupid... vacation!

Ah! Ah!

Now look where you've got us, Dad! Where I got us?

You should've let me stay at home. Why?

So you'd end up in prison?

Prison? What are you talkin' about?

Your principal called me. It's not what you think.

You even lied to me!

I had to! You were ruining my life.

I was only tryin' to take my boy fishin', okay?

I'm not your little boy any more, Dad!

I've grown up.

I've got my own life now.

I know that!

I just wanted to be part of it.

You're my son, Max.

No matter how big you get, you'll always be my son.


There are times you drive me Shall we say, bananas And your mind is missin' No offense, a screw None taken.

Still, whatever mess I land in Who is always understandin'?

Nobody else but you Oh, your moodiness is Now and then bewilderin'

And your values may be Soto speak, askew Gesundheit. Thanks.

Who deserves a hero's trophy As we face each catastro-phee?

Nobody else but you Nobody else but you kit's just our luck'

We're stuck together Nobody else but you It's crazy enough to believe We'll come through So your jokes are all Let's face it, prehistoric And your music sounds Like monkeys in a zoo But when life becomes distressin"

Who will 1 be SOS-in'?

If you're havin' trouble guessing Here's a clue'

Though he seems intoxicated He's just highly animated And he's nobody else but Nobody else but you We've turned into'

A true-blue duo Hard times, we've had a few'

Like we're thrown in the drink'

Like we're tossed out of town'

But when I start to sink'

Hey, I'd rather go down With nobody else But Y-O-U Aw, Dad!

Anyway, I figure she's never gonna want to talk to me again, much less go out with me.

What a dumb lie, huh? What do you know?

My Maxie... in love.

Gosh, you're really growin' up.

It happened so fast... I guess I sort of missed it.

Well, I think the only thing for us to do now is to get you up onstage with this Powerline feller.

Uh, how are we gonna do that?

Well, you just leave that up to me. No, Dad, really, I-I think we should just, you know, forget it.

Now how come you always think I'm gonna lead you into some sort of calamity?

Uh, uh, Dad? Dad?

What's wrong now? Look!

Ayuk! A waterfall.

Waterfall!

Dad!

Max!

Grab ahold, Max!

No!

No! Ah!

Whoa!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Dad!

Aaaaaaah!

Ten o'clock, two o'clock, quarter to three. Tour jeté.

Twist. I'm a little teapot Let her fly!

Huh?

Aaah! Aah! Aah!

The perfect cast.

Boy, this has been one crazy vacation.

And it's not over yet!

Dad.

Oof. We made it!

Come on, Max. Let's get you onstage.

Uh, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Yeah, yeah Oh, then again...

Dad? Dad!

Hey yeah

I got myself a notion One I know that you'll understand We set the world in motion'

By reaching out for each other's hand Dad? Maybe we'll discover What we should have known all along What are you doin' here? Hey! - Yeah

- One way or another Max? Max?

Together's where we both belong If we listen to each other's heart'

We'll find we're never too far apart And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever'

We're seein' it 1-2-1'

That Goof kid ain't there.

Don't worry, he'll be there.

Seein' it 1-2-1 Seein' it 1-2-1'

Excuse me. Uh...

Seein' it 1-2-1'

- I think we're seein' it Max?

Yeow-ee! Yeow-ee!

Hey, Dad. Dad!

Do the perfect cast!

If you're ever lonely Stop, you don't have to be Whoa! Whoaaa!

After all, it's only a beat away From you to me

- Take a look inside to see Yeah If we listen to each other's heart'

Yeah! Max is on the tube! That's Max. I know him...

And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever We're seein' it 1-2-1 He did it!

Seein' it 1-2-1'

Seein' it 1-2-1, baby'

For the first time For the first time

- Seein' it, seein' it, baby Yeah!

Yeah, yeah For the first time ever Yeah, yeah, yeah Come on, baby

- 1-2-1 1-2-1 U-z-fl Yeah 1-2-1'

You're doin' the right thing, son.

Yeah, I know.

But she'll probably never talk to me again.

Well, if she doesn't... maybe she's just not the one for you.

That's what I'm afraid of.


Ah, hi! Remember me?

Daddy!

Max, I saw you on TV.

You were great!

Yeah? I mean, no, no.

I mean, uh...

Roxanne, I lied to you. I don't even know Powerline.

What are you talking about? A billion people saw you dance with him.

Yeah, well...

I never met him before... the concert, that is.

You mean that story about Powerline and your dad...

Why would you make up something like that?

I don't know.

I guess I just... wanted you to like me.

I already liked you, Max.

From the very first time I heard you laugh.

"Ayuk."

So, you wanna do something tonight?

Definitely! Oh! Oh, no, I can't. I can't.

What?

Well, I'm kinda doin' somethin' with my dad.

Honest!

How 'bout tomorrow? Deal.

Ayuk! Ha-ha-ha-ha-yuk!

Yeow-hoo-hoo-hooee!

Roxanne, I'd like you to meet my dad.

Enchanté, mademoiselle.


Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I got myself a notion'

And one I know that you'll understand We'll set the world in motion'

By reaching out for each other's hand Maybe we'll discover What we should have known all along Yeah'

One way or another Together's where we both belong If we listen to each other's heart'

We'll find we're never too far apart And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever We're seein' it 1-2-1

If a wall should come between us'

Too high to climb Too hard to break through I know that love will lead us'

And find a way to bring me to you So don't be in a hurry Think before you count us out Oh, you don't have to worry

- I will never let you down Nothin's gonna stop us now If we listen to each other's heart'

We'll find we're never too far apart And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever We're seein' it 1-2-1 Wes, we're seein' it 1-2-1'

Wes, we are'

Seein' it 1-2-1'

Seein' it 1-2-1'

Seein' it 1-2-1'

I guess we're seein' it 1-2-1, yeah'

U-z-fl

If you're ever lonely, stop You don't have to be'

After all it's only A beat away from you to me Fake a look inside to see, yeah'

If we listen to each other's heart'

We'll find we're never too far apart And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever We're seein' it 1-2-1

If we listen to each other's heart'

We'll find we're never too far apart And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever We're seein' it 1-2-1 Seein' it 1-2-1'

Seein' it 1-2-1, baby'

For the first time For the first time Seein' it, seein' it, baby Seein' it 1-2-1, yeah'

For the first time ever Yeah, yeah, yeah Seein' it, baby, we're seein' it 1-2-1

1-2-1, yeah Come on, baby, 1-2-1'

1-2-1, 1-2-1 Yeah 1-2-1'

Yeow-hoo-hoo-hooee!