A Room to Die For (2017) Script

Could we have a look inside, Sir?

Uh, no word from them then?

Nothing. This is the last place that they were seen.

We'd prefer to come inside, if that's all right, Sir.

Well, always happy to help if I can.

We only ever heard arguments coming from their room.

Was there any acts of violence?

Um, no, but he had a very short temper.

But she was lovely, a proper lady.

One sugar or two, Dear?

Two, please.

Did they give any hints of where they were going?

No, but they'd paid their rent in full and left.

Last time you said you didn't speak to them. They just left in a rush.

Him. We didn't speak to him.

But she apologized and paid the month's rent before leaving.

That is not what you said before. Do you have a rent book?

Of course.

It is such a shame, young couples seem so impatient these days.

They want everything yesterday, rather than trying to build a proper life over time.


Wait. Let me have a look.

Is that her signature? Yes.

But they didn't have any money.

It clearly says that they're paid up there. That's all in order.

But they couldn't have done, because they didn't have any money.

We're sorry to have disturbed you.

Oh, it's okay. We understand. We are worried about them as well.

Especially Jill.

I mean, there is no telling what somebody mad in the head like Marcus might do.

Well, you said so yourself. When you came to speak to us before.

We will see ourselves out. Oh...

I hope you find them.

Get Jill away from that troubled young man.


Stop shaking.

You need to take your pills.

I need you to be strong for all three of us.


I'm going to tell you a true story.

My mates' nan was scheduled to go for a smear test.

I know what you're thinking, but stick with me, 'cause it gets better.

And she thought she needed to be, uh, presentable.

You know, downstairs.

So she sneaks into her granddaughter's room and sprays a can of deodorant.

Not realizing that it wasn't actually the sweet smell of the summer forest but a can of glitter that her granddaughter had kept from a party.

So the granny goes along to the gynecologist and she spreads her legs.

And the guy is fucking speechless because in front of him is a 67 year old woman whose vagina is fucking glittering.

Coming at him, you know. Proper disco pussy, yeah.

Ah, no, no, I'm joking. I'm joking.

His nan has not got a glittering vagina nor is the gynecologist my dad.

Uh, thank you very much, Ladies and Gentleman.

I have been Marcus Crowe.

Where were you? Sorry I'm late.

My new boss wouldn't let me out early.

Well, you tell that cocksucker that your boyfriend is doing a gig.

Come on, that call center is comedy gold for you.

Have they paid you?

Oh, Mark.

Look, if I keep asking for money, I won't get any more gigs.

It's a free bar.

We have to view that house tomorrow morning. We can't get drunk.

We could always squat somewhere.

Guess my jokes are a bit off today.

One drink.

Same? Yes, please.

Mark! Great job tonight, Mate.

Glittering vaginas.

Loved it. Thanks, Mate.

Hey, Jill. Yup.

Cheers. Thanks.

Damn it, Babe.

I'm trying to write here.

So, could you please...

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

Hello. You must be the couple we spoke to over the phone.

Hi, I'm Jill. This is my boyfriend, Marcus.

Please, do come in.

Henry, this is Jill and Marcus.

They have come to see the room.

It's the one upstairs. Second room on the left. It's open.

Thank you.

They look like Nazis.

Shh. Best behavior. We need this place.

I like it. What do you think?


I don't know. It's a bit... Listen.

It's just a temporary thing.

Six to nine months and we'll be out of here.

Do you mind me asking, why no one has taken it yet?

It's just that the location and the house are amazing.

Yes, my wife and I want the right person.

We think you will be perfect, though.

Don't we, Henry? Hmm.

We need a decision today.

What? Nothing.

Would you like to look at the room again before deciding?

Thanks. That would be great.

It's Jill, isn't it?

I hope you say yes.

It's a steal, this location for that amount of money.

We'd be crazy not to take it.

I don't know. That old couple were a bit full on.

It's called being nice.

You don't have to be so guarded off stage as well as on stage, you know.

What is that meant to mean?

Think of all the new material you could get done in the quiet here.

Look, I get the impression that they want to adopt us.

And I've spent years getting out from underneath one set of parents.

I don't need a substitute.

They are probably just lonely.

That old man kept staring at me.

Perhaps he fancies you. I'm serious.

So am I.

It is impossible not to find your lost little boy routine adorable.

Did you hear a baby cry?

No. Stop looking for excuses.

I need you to be more responsible with what's going on, Mark.

You've got to face the fact that we don't have any money.

I'm not asking you to get a job.

I'm not asking you to stop your comedy.

I'm the one making sacrifices for us.

Now you do this for me. You've got to trust me.

Yeah, but a shared house with a bunch of...

Coffin dodgers.


I love it.

I like her, Henry.

I agree.

He will be a problem.

I'm worried we're running out of time, Henry.

We will be okay.

It's like a nuclear bomb hit your side.

Here, let me.

I've never known someone to find even the littlest things so difficult.

I wonder how we met, let alone dated.

We dated because I bribed you with my superior cooking prowess.

Starter, main, dessert.

You are about to enjoy my three course meal skills.



What for? For agreeing to do this.

Did I have a choice? No, you didn't.


Got a third leg hanging here, Babe.

Sorry. We were unpacking.

Um, my wife and I would like to invite you both down to dinner.

A welcome hello. If you don't mind.

Um, that's very kind, but...

Just give us a minute.

You don't have to do this, Josephine. We just had some food.

Oh, you young ones are always having junk. Eat good food for a change.

Thanks. That's very kind of you both.

Do you not say grace before eating?

Thank you, O Lord, for these bounteous gifts received from your table.

In the name of our savior, Jesus Christ, our Lord.


Do either of you work? Must cost a lot to maintain this house.

We're both retired.

The extra money from the room comes in very handy for daily things.

Did you take your pills, Dear?

Yes, I did.

Do you guys, um, ever go out anywhere?

No, we stay at home mostly, but it is a very safe environment here.

Henry is a real home boy.

Marcus is, too.

Well, then maybe we could do some stuff together.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever you need.

Eat up, Dear.

Oh, that's too much food.

I won't have to eat for a week.

Um, it's manners to wait to be served.

What do you do for work?

I'm a stand up comedian. I do gigs.

Oh, so you let your woman go out and earn a wage and get a proper job.


No. No, it's all right.

I've always wanted more than just a nine to five.

And stand up comedy is the new rock and roll.

I'm happy to support Marcus. He is very good.

His routine needs a little polish, but he's coming around.

There is nothing wrong with my routine. It's just, she doesn't find it funny.

What about you, Dear? What are your dreams?


Earn enough money to go traveling and see the world.

Hmm. Do you think you might get married?

No. Not yet. Maybe later.

What about children?

We never wanted kids.

You say that but if you were pregnant, you might feel different.

It's not for us.

We have got a child.

Oh, that's lovely. Is it your gran...

Yes, it's my baby. Our baby.

I told you.

It's rude to whisper at the table.

Henry and I couldn't be happier.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Do you have any family, Jill?

I have a brother, Jason. He is... A dick.

No. Mark.

He is successful and likes reminding me.

Our parents died young so he kind of became my surrogate mum and dad.

I guess I got sidelined along the way.

Mark is my family now.

Family is very important, Dear.

How about you two?

Josephine's from German heritage.

I'm East London, Army.

Wow. That must have been, uh, awkward.

You know, two World Wars and one World Cup. Huh?

You know...

♪ Two World Wars and one World Cup doo-daa, doo-daa ♪

1966, England versus Germany.

Comedy, right?

I'm sorry. I get a bit nervous sometimes.

I get it.

How the fuck can they have a baby?

I mean, how the hell did that happen?

Maybe they are not as old as they look. They just retired early.

Hey, how do you think it happened, huh?

She laid back, listening to Eva Braun as he crept up behind her and gave a quick one two whilst reading the Bible.

Don't ruin the mood.


I've seen bodies.

Dead bodies.

Bodies with no heads, no limbs, guts spewing out.

And crows and eagles swooping down, plucking out eyeballs...

And tearing out protruding tongues.

Sometimes from living bodies.


I miss those days.

Excuse me.

Decomposition begins in the digestive system.

And it feeds on the internal organs.

It causes bloating and a marbling of the skin.

And there is a terrible swelling and protrusion of the tongue.

And liquids and bloods flow from every orifice.

And there is a horrible smell of rotting flesh.

After that rigor mortis sets in.

And it covers the whole body after about a day.

It's really beautiful.

Shit. I'm late.

How do I look?

Hmm, you look better with your clothes off, Baby.

Oh, Babe. Um...

I'm going to need a bit of money for food.


Shit. I only have a twenty.

Keep that for two days.

Don't spend it on sweets or comics.

Very funny.

Perhaps I should do the stand up, my material is funnier.

What the fuck you know about comedy?





Yes, Henry?

You come down here at once!

Um, you know your baby is still...

Don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink.

You clean them immediately!

Yeah, I was going to do it later.

Not later. Now!

Not later. Now!

You clean them immediately!

You got a problem, then you can clean it, Henry.

Or what, Old Man?

You dirty little bitch.

Hey, Ben. How you been, Mate?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying some new materials as we speak.

Well, it might take a bit of time, Mate. When would the next gig be?

Next month?

No, I need to be doing more gigs, Mate.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, a bit busy, Buddy.

Yeah, you too. Bye.

I warned you!

Don't phone again!

Hey, Babe. Hey, Honey.

You get much writing done?

A little.

Since when did you get so protective of your material?

Since you slagged it off.

I'm starving.

You want to order something?

Oh, Jesus.

Marcus, you can't cook after 6:00.

I'm sorry?

You have to finish cooking by 5:00.


I can't stand the smell.

That old man is a fucking asshole.

Mark, keep it down. What happened?

First, we've got to wash up before eating, and now, we're not allowed to cook after 6:00.

This is not our house. We have to play according to their rules.

If they want to keep it clean what's the harm in that?

Hmm, why you are you taking his side?

I'm telling you. He is going to be a problem.

Mark. They are old. They might have their reasons.

When are we getting out of this shithole?

Hush. They might hear you.

We won't find better accommodation for this price.

So bite your tongue, smile and play nice.


You know why?

Happy Birthday.


Look, I think we got off to a bit of a bad start, and I'd like to start again.

I want the bin bag.

I want to put them out all together in the correct bins.

Your baby is crying again.

It will stop.

Until you get a job, you'll need to do a few things around the house.

I have a job!

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

I wrote a joke once, about a wrinkly old man who couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Do you want to hear it?

If this place is "Shithole", and I'm "Asshole", why do you stay?

Fucking wanker.

What did you say, Boy?

I didn't fucking say anything.

Mind your words, Boy!

You won't be here long.

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck you, Old Man!

Who's the fucking bitch now, huh?

You fucking old cunt!

"Get a fucking real job."


I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be here.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Mind your words, Boy!

It's 2:00 a.m., for God's sake.

It cries at the exact time for the exact amount of minutes each day.

It's a baby. That's what they do.

Neither of us have ever seen the baby.

You really are sounding paranoid now.

If it's not the baby crying then it's her playing her weird ass war music.

Or him shouting randomly.

Maybe you need to get out of the house for a while during the day.

You are too isolated here.

You're not here.

That old man... He's fucking crazy.

Tried to scare him today, and he just smiled.

You what? You threatened him? Are you insane?

What did I say? We need this place.

He was demanding I keep the room clean, that I hoover it, and take the bins out.

We don't live here for free. We pay fucking rent!

I've been asking you to do that stuff for two weeks!

And they've been listening to our conversations.

For fuck sake, Marcus. Stop trying to find reasons to move out.

Grow up!

Get out of my room!

I want you out of this house.

It's just research for an act.

Vacate by tomorrow morning.

We signed a contract. We have rights.

I will give you back your money.

Just be gone by tomorrow.

What the fuck is going on?

Don't you worry, we're leaving.

I'm sorry.

I'm not used to having other people in the house.

But he is going to make a big effort from now on.

It's too late.

We don't want you to leave.

Jill has told us this is the perfect commute for her work.

No more household chores.

And you'll have your own front door key.

For Jill.

Where the fuck have you been?

I had a few drinks after work.


Well, while you've been out getting wasted I've been attacked by the evil fucker.

Josephine explained it all to me when I came in. It's all sorted.

He is fucking evil, Jill.

That's a bit extreme, isn't it?

I'm not insane, Jill.

Get a job so you're not sitting at home all day, as you're obviously not writing.

I need peace and quiet to write.

Then what the hell is the problem?

I don't get any peace, no space.

This house... That fucking old man is making me fucking paranoid!

Calm down, Mark. Calm down.

We find somewhere to live tomorrow...

Or I swear to God I... I'm going to end up killing him.

Don't be so stupid.

I promise you, I'll kill him!

And I will kill that fucking baby, too!

Stop it! You hear me? You stop this now, Mark.

I don't like you like this.

All this anger, it's no good.

I won't live with you, understand?

I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. It's just...

I need more gigs.

And I need to write. I need to write.

I forgive you.

My brother is coming for dinner.

Oh, fuck!

The industry out there is littered with A-listers that need expertise.

There's now talk of a reality TV series following my work.

Latest client, Embracing Darkness author Matthew Cox.

First novel went stratospheric.

Second novel sunk like an unwanted Christmas puppy with a weight around its neck.

Third novel, he is bobbing back up on the surface again.

We are going to repackage him, reinvent him, send him out into the world and make pots of money.

So, Sister Dearest, you have to share this kitchen?

The old couple kindly let us use it.

They're very welcoming.

Yeah, very welcoming.

You said something about a job.

Hmm. Life insurance.

You work in a call center.

It's just short term.

That's what I said when I started.

Now I work in Berlin, Paris, New York.

I even turned down a six figure sum in Sydney this week.

You know why?

I don't like the weather.

It's too fucking hot down under.

I like cold, gray weather.

You know, Marcus, New York is the place for stand ups.

They're all there plying their trade.

You tickle the rib cage of New York, you tickle the rib cage of the world.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Make me laugh.

It doesn't work like that.

If you can't improvise, you haven't got any chance of success.

Come on, Mark, you can do this.

Prove brother dearest wrong.

No, no, no. Don't sit down.

Stand up and do it. You're a "Stand up", aren't you?


"Danger wank."

Danger wank.

Imagine you're in your room, having a wank and your mum has just called you for dinner but you're right in the middle of the act.

So you just carry on.

From that moment on you've got less than one minute, before your mother comes upstairs, to finish wanking.

Now that, my friend, is some serious danger fucking wanking.

If it's money you need, I could find you a job in my company.

You'd have to start at the bottom, but it is something. Hm?

I kicked Jason out.

"Danger wank."

I found it funny.

What the fuck do you know?

You don't even like my material.

What is wrong with you?

I had that chance to make it, didn't I?

And I blew it, and we both know why.

What? It's my fault?

And you...

You wear the trousers in this relationship and I'm meant to be the fucking man.

Then act like one.

You give me pocket money to buy things, you tell me what I can and cannot do.

I tell you what, tell you what, tell you what...

You're no different from that nutty, Old Man.

No wonder I wanna fucking kill him.

Fine. Then add me to this kill list you're planning.

You side with him and that old bitch when you know they're trying to drive me mad.

And you are in with them.

Will you listen to yourself?

You're a paranoid mess, Marcus.

Don't talk about them this way.

You only date me to piss your brother off, when you treat me like I'm your fucking bitch!

You are my fucking bitch.

You haven't got the balls. You're a coward.

Why don't you just go and fucking marry that old man, so the three of you can live happily ever after.

Let's see how you manage on your own, bitch, without my handouts.

Oh, hello, I'd like to have some roses delivered, please.


It always stops crying on 20.

You came back...

Sorry, I thought you were Mark.

Did you see him at all today?

Well, we heard a lot of banging.

Sounded like he was packing things.

Then the front door slammed.

Did he say anything at all to you?

No, Dear.

If he's angry, he'll come back.

Just give him time.

You look exhausted.

You need something to eat.

Come on, let us look after you. No, I'm fine.

Oh, come on, dear. Eat something.

Just leave me alone, for fuck's sake.

Hello, I'm sorry, okay.

You haven't killed them, have you?

I'm a little drunk.

Still angry drunk but...

I forgive you, um, and I love you.

"Gone to a friend's home, "for a few days.

"I need to concentrate

"and write material.



Busy. Busy. Busy. Busy.

It's never too early. No.

Man after my own heart.

For your baby.

Yes. Winter's coming.

I have to admit that I thought Jill was lying at first when she told me you had a newborn baby but that's the miracles of modern science.

You know, I work with a lot of famous doctors.

What do you do for work?

I take famous people and their money and I make them even more famous and even more money.

My sister is bit of a wreck at the moment. Jason.

Well, it's true, isn't it?

We're trying to find out where Marcus may have gone, talking to everyone.

I'm guessing you were the last people to see him?

Well, saw him through the window here with a suitcase.

Never looked back.

You told me you hadn't seen him.

Not face to face.

I didn't like speaking with him.

I can understand that.

I've always had to look after her.

Ever since our parents died, I more or less brought her up.

That is from the Boer War!

Uh... May I?

Yes. Pick it up.

Give it a swing.

Goodness gracious.


So you think you're funny, Boy.



If I don't hear from Mark by tonight I'm calling the police.

Don't be so dramatic, Jill.

It's good he's gone.

He was a loser.

You don't know him like I do.

He dragged you down.

You and the old man taking the piss out of Mark.

Ganging up on him when he's not even here to defend himself.

Don't be so deluded, Jill.

He's left you. Face facts.

Mark was right, the old couple are acting strange.

Neither of us have ever seen the baby.

I haven't heard it cry since Mark disappeared.

Will you listen to yourself, Jill?

Marcus has turned you into the same paranoid mess he was.

Now, I have to be honest, I think they're great.

I want them to adopt me.

And they love you.

No, something is not right.

"Sorry I haven't been in contact.

"Writing going great.

"Be back once finished. See you then."

Smiley face and...

Who the fuck puts smiley faces on the end of text messages at his age?

Like I said, Jill, he's a fucking child.

There's the baby.

Happy now?

I still think you should leave him.

I'll check in on you later in the week, see how you're getting on.

It's time to move on, Baby Sister.

Help me.

Listen to me, listen...

They didn't tie you up.

Help me.

Don't worry, Love.

We've known about these people for years.

Untie me.

I'll get us both out.

No. Can't.

Help us.

They killed my brother and my boyfriend!

Not just him.

There has been others.

What do you mean, "It's too late"?

We have known about these people for years.

For God's sake, come on.

Don't worry about it, Love.

We have known these people for years.

Listen to me. Listen.

We have never found anyone alive before.

What about her?

What are you waiting for? Help us!

You are meant to help!

This is what happened to the last woman we helped.

She's dead...

And so are you.

He must have damaged him when he touched him.

How dare you touch my baby boy.



Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!

I want to hear the match.



♪ Dancin' may do this and that

♪ And help you take off lots o' fat

♪ But I'm no friend of dancin' when it's hot

♪ So if you are a dancin' fool

♪ Who loves to dance, but can't keep cool

♪ Bear in mind the ideas that I've got Mark... ♪ When it gets too hot for comfort

♪ And you can't get ice cream cones

♪ T'ain't no sin to take off your skin

♪ And dance around in your bones

♪ When the lazy syncopation

♪ Of the music softly moans

♪ T'ain't no sin to take off your skin

♪ And dance around in your bones ♪

I keep worrying, Henry.

What if it doesn't happen in time?

What if one of us doesn't make it?

Couldn't bear to live without you, Dear.

Life is so short.

If it ever came to that, I'd make sure we go together.


"I often go to listen, "when all is silent."

It's just a tranq...

He came back and then they took all their belongings and left.


The day after you came.

It's a shame, my wife and I really liked your sister.

We asked her to stay but she left.

She usually doesn't do anything without checking with me first.

Well, we think he gave her some kind of ultimatum.

I really don't understand what she saw in him.

Can you give me moment? I need to make a call.

This person's phone is switched off.

Well, thank you.


Will he be a problem?

I think we might need to get some more plastic sheeting.

Somebody help me!

No one can hear you.

Why are you doing this to me?

We had a child.

But he died, because of me.

She will never forgive unless I make up.

I failed Josephine once.

I won't this time.

Josephine won't bury him until she has a new baby.

Please, somebody help me.

Don't think you're so special.

Don't you know how many people have been sacrificed, giving us back our baby?

Oh, we don't keep them here.

They are spread across London.

Same as I will do for Marcus.

But I kept him as a memento, seeing he likes joking so much.

Thought he could keep you company, try and make you laugh.

We prayed every night...

And God gave us you.

I know who you are!

You don't own me!

Nobody owns me!

The Queen doesn't own me!

I will shit on your face!

Come out, I know who you both are!

I know who you both are!

Get off my property.

Get off my property.

I'm sorry, Sir.


It's your menstrual cycle.

Dated, for when you're ripe for seed.

Josephine assures me that her shade matches your skin tone.

You don't know what pain is.


Oh, no.

Mark, I'm sorry for what I said.

It's "Henry".

It's Henry.

Say "Henry," Sweetheart.

Say it for me.

Say my name.

It's Henry.

Say "Henry," please.

Say it, say it, say it.

Say "Henry."

Once the baby is born, what do we do with her?

Can we keep her?

I know what you have in mind, Mister.

No, we can't keep her.

We have to get rid of her, just like we got rid of the others.

Oh, that's sad.

I thought we could keep her.

Two more months to go.

I will start on the baby's room.



Henry, its time.

We'll have to cut the baby out.

No. No. No!

No! No!

You'll kill the baby.

She will run.

Where to?

She can't get past us both.

Do it, Henry.


Lay her flat on the floor.

Hold her down.

Push my baby out!

Or I will cut it out and leave you to bleed!

Push my baby out!



Massage its chest!

We got our baby boy back, Henry.

Our baby boy, Henry!

We got our baby boy back, Henry.

It's our baby boy.

Come at me and I will kill it!

Get our baby, Henry!

We can't lose our baby again.

I'm so...


We had a child, but he died.

What if one of us doesn't make it?

I couldn't bear to live without you, Dear.