After All These Years (2013) Script

[♪]

OKAY, SO, I'LL CALL YOU, AND MAYBE MICHAEL CAN BARBECUE, THAT SOUND GOOD?

[♪♪]

I AM SO STARVING. I HAVEN'T EATEN ALL DAY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST RELAX?

LOOK HOW PERFECTLY IT TURNED OUT.

BESIDES, SINCE WHEN DO YOU EAT?

WHEN YOU BRING ME FOOD?

OKAY! ENOUGH.

[♪♪]

AUDREY!

CONGRATULATIONS!

OH, CHRISTINE! WE'RE SO GLAD THAT YOU COULD COME.

NOW, THE GUY OVER THERE, IN THE BLUE--

DON'T MAKE IT OBVIOUS!

-SINGLE? -OH, NO, NO, NO.

VERY, VERY MARRIED.

WHY ARE ALL THE GOOD ONES TAKEN?

MAY I BORROW MY WIFE FOR A LITTLE DANCE PERHAPS?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DANCE WITH ME.

YES, I LOVE TO DANCE WITH YOU.

-HEY! -DID YOU EAT ANYTHING?

HOW MANY DRINKS HAVE YOU HAD?

JUST THE ONE. AND A HALF.

EXCUSE ME.

MM. [THUMP]

MRS. D, THIS FOOD IS REALLY AMAZING!

I WOULD ONLY DO IT FOR YOUR PARENTS.

PHYLLIS! WHAT ARE THESE?

POLENTA CAKE WITH HEIRLOOM TOMATO RELISH.

I LOVE THAT YOU CAN JUST EAT THEM WITH YOUR FINGERS.

SAY, WOULD YOU MIND GIVING ANITA THE RECIPE?

FOR WHAT? TO LOOK AT?

[LAUGHING]

[CLINKING GLASS WITH SPOON, CROWD APPLAUDING]

WE JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING, AND ESPECIALLY PHYLLIS AND CARTER DIETRICHSON FOR BEING SUCH GOOD FRIENDS AND FOR THROWING US THIS BEAUTIFUL PARTY!

[APPLAUDING]

WE'RE JUST--

WE FEEL VERY, VERY BLESSED TO BE HERE WITH OUR SON, AND OUR FAMILY AND OUR FRIENDS, AND AFTER 30 YEARS, MICHAEL AND I ARE ESPECIALLY LUCKY TO STILL HAVE EACH OTHER.

[CROWD GUSHES AND APPLAUDS]

UH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

I KNOW MOST OF YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT TOO GOOD WITH SPEECHES, BUT, AUDREY, I WANTED TO GET YOU SOMETHING THAT WOULD TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME, AND HERE IT IS.

[AUDREY LAUGHS AND GASPS]

MICHAEL!

I CAN'T BELIEVE... WHAT DID YOU DO?

[GUESTS CHEERING] HONEY...

THANK YOU!

[GASPS IN DELIGHT]: LOOKS LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR THIS ROOM.

OH, MICHAEL, YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FEELING THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FRIENDS PARADING THROUGH OUR BEDROOM FOR THE REST OF OUR MARRIAGE, JUST TO LOOK AT IT.

[SLOW JAZZ PLAYS ON STEREO]

[MICHAEL SOBS]

SWEETIE! YOU OLD SOFTIE. WHAT?

HEY, DO YOU KNOW HOW FEW HUSBANDS WOULD ALLOW THEMSELVES TO FEEL SO OPENLY?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET IT OUT?

COME ON.

[STIFLES HIMSELF]

I'M IN LOVE WITH CHRISTINE.

YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH CHRISTINE?

[SOBS AND WEEPS]

CHRISTINE VOLE FROM YOUR OFFICE?

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW TERRIBLE I FEEL.

I'VE BEEN HANGING ONTO THIS FOR SIX MONTHS.

NO, NO, NO, NO! THIS IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

IT'S A FANTASY!

NO, SHE LOVES ME, TOO.

SHE WAS JUST AT OUR PARTY!

SHE WAS TOASTING OUR HAPPINESS.

I'M-- I'M GONNA THROW UP.

WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

I MEAN, I FEEL SO... I FEEL SO DIRTY.

IT-- OH, NO!

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT!

YES, IT IS SOMEBODY'S FAULT.

IT IS YOUR FAULT, AND CHRISTINE'S.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN!

OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. WAIT, WAIT, MICHAEL.

I GET IT, I GET IT.

MAYBE IT'S BEEN TOO EASY, TOO COMFORTABLE WITH ME.

AND LOTS OF MEN GO THROUGH THIS, BUT I PROMISE YOU, YOU WILL GET OVER HER.

GET OVER HER? I WANT TO MARRY HER!

WHAT?

[AUDREY, NARRATING]: THAT SUMMER, I WENT THROUGH ALL THE DUMPED WIFE STAGES OF GRIEF.

DENIAL...

HAVE YOU CHANGED THE LOCKS AND SECURITY CODES?

I'M TELLING YOU, ANITA, MICHAEL'S GONNA COME TO HIS SENSES AND COME HOME.

YOU WOULD ACTUALLY TAKE HIM BACK?

WELL, THAT'S NOT REALLY EVEN A QUESTION, BECAUSE HE IS COMING BACK.

YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A HISTORY.

HE IS NOT WORTH WHAT HE'S PUTTING YOU THROUGH!

YES, HE IS.

-YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR HIM. -NO, I'M NOT!

ANGER...

[GROWLS] YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GETS ME?

THE MAN WHO KNEW ME MOST INTIMATELY BASICALLY SAID, "OH, NO, THANK YOU.

I DON'T THINK I WANT HER ANYMORE!"

AND YET, YOU'D STILL TAKE HIM BACK?

ONLY IF HE WERE CUT UP INTO BITS AND PIECES.

BARGAINING...

MAYBE IF I GOT MY EYES DONE, OR MAYBE A PARTIAL...

DESPAIR...

[SOBBING WAILFULLY]

[WEEPS]

[CRASHING]

AND FINALLY, ACCEPTANCE--

HOW MUCH FOR THE GOLF CLUBS?

75 CENTS A CLUB.

NEED A PAIR OF SHOES? LOOK AT THESE.

BRAND-NEW.

$150 IN THE STORE, BUT FOR YOU, FIVE BUCKS.

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MICHAEL WHEN HE COMES HOME?

HE IS NOT COMING HOME, PHYLLIS.

AS HARD AS IT IS TO IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM, ONCE THE DIVORCE IS FINAL, HE'S GOING TO MARRY CHRISTINE, AND I NEED TO MOVE ON.

MY SON WAS GROWN AND ON HIS OWN.

I NO LONGER HAD ANYONE TO COME HOME TO, AND THE ONLY MAN WHO HAD BEEN IN MY BEDROOM FOR MONTHS WAS PETER THOMAS...

THE HOST OF FORENSIC FILES.

[TV DRONING SOFTLY]

[TV PLAYING]

I COULDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE ANY MORE PILLS, AND ALL I HAD TO LOOK FORWARD TO WAS DECIDING WHAT MY NEXT SNACK WOULD BE.

HMM, WAS I IN THE MOOD FOR GRILLED CHEESE, FROZEN QUESADILLAS, EGG ROLLS--

[SHRIEKS]

[WHIMPERS AND GASPS]

[♪]

[GASPS]

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD!

OH, MICHAEL? MICHAEL!

[SLAPPING HIM] AH!

OKAY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

[GRUNTING INTENSELY]

[GASPS]

[♪♪]

[DIALS]

[DISPATCH]: POLICE EMERGENCY.

YEAH. UH, I-I-- I NEED TO REPORT A MURDER.

HELLO? HELLO, MA'AM? ARE YOU THERE?

[FLASH BULB POPS]

[BEEPING]

UH, I MIGHT HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.

I MIGHT HAVE INTERFERED WITH THE CRIME SCENE.

SEE, I WASN'T SURE IF MY HUSBAND WAS DEAD, SO I TRIED TO PULL THE KNIFE OUT OF HIS CHEST.

I'M REALLY SORRY, DETECTIVE, UH...

-MULLIGAN. -MULLIGAN.

CLEARLY, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT I WASN'T THINKING.

I UNDERSTAND, MRS. BRANDON.

NOW, LISTEN. UM...

YOU THINK YOU'RE UP TO ANSWERING A FEW QUESTIONS?

MRS. BRANDON?

OH. UH...

YES. TIME IS A FACTOR, AND I KNOW THE FIRST 72 HOURS ARE CRUCIAL.

WHAT WAS YOUR HUSBAND'S OCCUPATION?

HE WAS THE PRESIDENT OF BRANDON ASSOCIATES.

UH, IT'S A RESEARCH COMPANY IN THE CITY.

WOULD YOU MIND IF I JUST TAKE A SEDATIVE?

OR FOUR?

JUST A FEW MORE QUESTIONS FIRST.

[AUDREY SIGHS]

LIKE, YOU SEE, WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS, IF YOUR HUSBAND MOVED OUT SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, WHY DID HE, ALL OF A SUDDEN, DROP BY UNINVITED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

AND I JUST-- I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

IS IT POSSIBLE, JUST POSSIBLE, THAT YOU MISTOOK YOUR HUSBAND FOR A BURGLAR AND JUST...

WHAT? AND THAT I STABBED HIM IN SELF-DEFENSE? NO!

[VOICE BREAKS]: NO.

BUT...

PERHAPS SOMEONE WAS OUT TO GET HIM.

RIGHT.

AND THEY FOLLOWED HIM ALL THE WAY FROM THE CITY, OUR HERE TO SHORE HAVEN, BECAUSE THEY KNEW THEY COULD KILL HIM AT YOUR HOUSE?

ALL RIGHT, I KNOW THAT THAT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT IT'S POSSIBLE.

DID YOUR HUSBAND HAVE ANY ENEMIES?

NO. WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S AN "ENEMY,"

BUT HIS EX-PARTNER, ARTIE GREEN, CERTAINLY HAD MOTIVE.

WHEN MICHAEL SQUEEZED HIM OUT OF THE COMPANY, ARTIE HACKED INTO THE COMPUTER FILES AND WIPED OUT AN ENTIRE PROGRAM LIBRARY, AND IT COST THEM A FORTUNE.

MR. BRANDON CALL THE POLICE?

OH, YEAH. YEAH, ENDED UP FINING ARTIE $600,000, WHICH, YOU KNOW, COULD BE A MOTIVE.

SO WHERE'S MR. GREEN NOW?

HE LIVES IN THE CITY. AND LOOK AT THIS.

WELL-- [SCOFFS]

MICHAEL LEFT HIS SHOES BY THE DOOR.

AND THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE?

IN THE 30 YEARS I WAS MARRIED TO THIS MAN, HE NEVER ONCE TOOK OFF HIS SHOES, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I ASKED HIM TO.

ALL RIGHT, JUST FOR ARGUMENT'S SAKE, ASSUMING YOU'RE TELLING THE TRUTH, MAYBE-- MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND TOOK OFF HIS SHOES BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR.

THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN HIS NORMAL BEHAVIOR PATTERN.

NOW, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO THIS.

[MULLIGAN EXHALES TENSELY]

MRS. BRANDON.

MRS. BRANDON! PLEASE.

-MRS. BRANDON. -UH, MAKE SURE YOU CHECK--

TO SEE THAT THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE SET OF TIRE TRACKS.

WELL, IF THERE ARE, THEY COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN MADE EARLIER, A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

THERE WAS AN EPISODE OF DATELINE A FEW WEEKS AGO--

-YES, YES, I SEE. -...WHERE THE HUSBAND--

PLEASE, JUST LET US DO OUR JOBS.

OF COURSE, I KNOW. YOU'RE THE EXPERTS.

I WAS ONLY TRYING TO...

TRYING TO HELP.

[REPORTER]: I'M STANDING OUTSIDE THE RESIDENCE...

MRS. BRANDON, WAIT! I'M NOT DONE!

LOOK, I NEED TO CALL MY SON AND TELL HIM THAT HIS FATHER WAS MURDERED BEFORE HE HEARS ABOUT IT ON TWITTER.

[♪♪]

[REPORTER]: ...HOW LONG THIS PERSON HAS BEEN DEAD AND HOW THAT PERSON DIED.

DETECTIVES ARE NOW ON THE SCENE...

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

HEY, YOU'VE REACHED ALEX. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. [BEEP]

HI, HONEY, IT'S ME.

UH, LISTEN, CAN YOU CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS?

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. OKAY? LOVE YOU.

[BEEP]

SO, YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU FOR CHRISTINE VOLE BACK IN APRIL?

YES.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW OR SPOKE TO YOUR HUSBAND?

MM, TWO OR THREE DAYS AGO.

WE MET AT THE LAWYERS' OFFICE TO SETTLE EVERYTHING.

RIGHT. AND MS. VOLE SAYS YOU HAD A HEATED ARGUMENT, THAT YOUR HUSBAND INTENDED TO DISINHERIT YOUR SON, ALEX.

OH. I THINK, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WAS QUITE A CIVIL CONVERSATION.

YOU TURNED ALEX AGAINST CHRISTINE!

OH, HE DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP FROM ME!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE IS NOT GETTING DIME ONE FROM ME!

AND WHAT DID YOU EVER DO THAT WAS WORTH WHAT THIS SHYSTER'S ASKING FOR?

DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A YEAR FOR ME TO LIST EVERYTHING?

OH, YEAH! HERE WE GO!

I HELPED YOU START YOUR BUSINESS--

CHRISTINE SAID YOU WERE GONNA SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE SHE SAID?

"I NOW TAKE CREDIT CARDS AS WELL AS CASH?"

YOU'RE OLD!

[SHATTERING]

-[GROWLS] -I'LL KILL YOU!

SO, WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY, MRS. BRANDON, IS THAT NOW THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS DEAD, YOU INHERIT HIS ENTIRE ESTATE AND CAN PROVIDE FOR YOUR SON?

YES.

SO?

MONEY AND REVENGE, CLASSIC MOTIVES.

I DIDN'T DO IT!

BUT MAYBE IT WAS, UH, A BURGLAR?

MAYBE SOMEONE SAW MICHAEL DRIVE UP.

HE HAD $600 IN HIS WALLET, AND HIS WATCH WAS STILL ON HIS WRIST.

SO IT WAS SOMEONE WHO KNEW HIM.

I'M THINKING THAT MIGHT BE TRUE.

I DIDN'T DO IT.

-AUDREY! -AUDREY?

WOULD YOU BELIEVE THE POLICE TRIED TO KEEP US FROM COMING IN?

IF YOU DON'T MIND, I NEED TO GO AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS?

NO, BUT STAY CLOSE TO HOME.

I STILL HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS TO ASK.

WOULDN'T WANT YOU SKIPPING TOWN, NOW, WOULD WE?

-WE MIGHT HAVE A FEW-- -HAVE A HEART!

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT MICHAEL TURNED INTO, BUT FOR THE LONGEST TIME, HE REALLY WAS SUPER.

YEAH.

YEAH, NO, HE WAS ALSO THE JERK THAT LEFT YOU.

WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE, ANYWAY?

WHAT? YOU DIDN'T INVITE HIM?

NO! NO, I'M TELLING YOU, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HE CAME, AND I'M SURE THE POLICE DON'T BELIEVE ME.

WELL, WE KNOW YOU'RE INNOCENT, BUT I'M GONNA FIND YOU A GOOD LAWYER.

FIRST, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SOME LEMON VERBENA TEA.

YEAH, THEY'RE REALLY GOING TO LET HER INTO THE CRIME SCENE SO SHE CAN BREW A CUP OF HERBAL TEA.

YOU KNOW, ANITA, I THOUGHT MICHAEL LEAVING ME WAS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN.

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

IT WOULD SEEM YOU'RE IN A TIGHT SPOT.

I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF TALKING TO MY CONTACTS IN THE D.A.'S OFFICE.

YOU'LL BE RELIEVED TO KNOW THEY WON'T ARREST YOU UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL.

ARREST ME?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

THE EVIDENCE IS ALL CIRCUMSTANTIAL.

I MEAN, YEAH, HE WAS STABBED IN MY KITCHEN WITH MY KNIFE--

MRS. BRANDON.

THERE ISN'T A SHRED OF EVIDENCE THERE WAS ANYONE IN YOUR HOUSE THAT NIGHT OTHER THAN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.

SO YOU THINK I'M GUILTY?

DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK.

IT'S WHAT THE GOVERNMENT THINKS THAT COUNTS.

NO, I WAS SET UP!

I-I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW MANY EPISODES OF SNAPPED I'VE SEEN WHERE THE WIFE WAS IN THE EXACT SAME--

MRS. BRANDON, THIS IS NOT AN EPISODE OF SOME PREPOSTEROUS TV SHOW.

EVEN IF WE HIRED SHERLOCK HOLMES, HOW COULD YOU PAY FOR IT?

THEY'RE GOING TO FREEZE YOUR ACCOUNTS.

WELL, THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, MR. KEYES?

PLEASE, TRY AND STAY CALM, MRS. BRANDON.

THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR HYSTERIA LATER.

[EXHALES WEARILY]

NOW, ASSUMING THAT YOU CAN'T FIND ANOTHER SUSPECT THE POLICE WILL FIND MORE COMPELLING, I'D ADVISE YOU TO PLEAD GUILTY, FOR REDUCED CHARGES.

OH, AND THAT'S MY BEST OPTION?

TO PLEAD GUILTY AND GO TO PRISON?

ONE OF THE DOWNSIDES TO MURDER, YES.

[WORDS CATCHING]

I NEED YOU TO FIND ME ANOTHER LAWYER, WHO DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THAT I'M GUILTY.

I WILL MAKE SOME CALLS, I PROMISE.

CARTER, ANY IDEAS?

WHAT DID THE POLICE ASK YOU?

IF WE'D SEEN OR HEARD ANYTHING THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER.

OF COURSE, WE SAID WE HADN'T.

CARTER, WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HOME THAT NIGHT?

ABOUT 11:00.

AND WERE YOU HERE AT THE HOUSE ALL NIGHT, PHYLLIS?

NO, I WAS AT THE GARDEN CLUB.

I GOT HOME ABOUT 10:00, 10:30.

YEAH, AND DID YOU GO RIGHT TO BED?

YOU KNOW ME, I SUDDENLY FELT LIKE BAKING BRIOCHE.

DID YOU NOTICE ANY CARS NEAR THE HOUSE?

ANY ACTIVITY AT ALL?

I WAS DRIVING HOME WITH MY FRIEND, MANDY.

WE WERE TOO BUSY TALKING.

I WISH I'D BEEN MORE ALERT.

DON'T YOU, CARTER?

NO!

I REFUSE TO TOLERATE THIS SICK FARCE ANOTHER MINUTE!

DON'T YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD!

I DON'T CARE THAT SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND, PHYLLIS!

MIKE WAS MY BEST FRIEND, AND YOU KILLED HIM!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU CANNOT HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT I KILLED HIM!

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR US OR CALL US AGAIN!

CARTER, WE CAN'T ALLOW THEM TO PUT HER IN HANDCUFFS AND TAKE HER WAY.

ALLOW THEM? WE SHOULD APPLAUD THEM.

[SLAM]

[AUDREY]: I HAD NO CHOICE.

I WAS DESPERATE.

I HAD TO THROW MYSELF ON MY ENEMY'S MERCY.

HI. I'M HERE TO SEE CHRISTINE VOLE.

-[DOORBELL CHIMES] -COMING!

OH, CAROL, THANK GOD.

AUDREY! WHAT ARE YOU-- AUDREY! AUDREY--

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

GET OUT!

CHRISTINE, I THINK YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER KILL MICHAEL.

OH! I THINK YOU'RE QUITE DERANGED.

HOW YOU HAVE THE IMPUDENCE--

NOW, LOOK. I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHY MICHAEL WAS AT MY HOUSE.

-I'M CALLING THE POLICE. -CHRISTINE!

THE POLICE ARE ABOUT TO ARREST ME FOR A CRIME I DIDN'T COMMIT.

NOW, I NEED YOUR HELP.

ISN'T THAT THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY.

FIRST, YOU BLEED HIM DRY--

YOU KNOW WHAT? NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS, BUT I HELPED MICHAEL START BRANDON ASSOCIATES.

I KNOW, BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN, AND THEN YOU GOT YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND, DAVID LARABEE, TO BE HIS FIRST BIG CLIENT, YADA, YADA, YADA.

DID YOU TRY TO KILL HIM, TOO?

DON'T YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT THEM FINDING WHO ACTUALLY KILLED MICHAEL?

OH, I THINK THE POLICE HAVE THEIR GIRL.

SO HELP ME, CHRISTINE, IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT HE WAS DOING AT MY HOUSE--

I-- I AM LOOKING FOR ANSWERS!

THE ONLY THING YOU'RE LOOKING AT IS 15 TO 20 IN THE BIG HOUSE.

[CHRISTINE YELPS]

CHRISTINE?

OH... MY... GOD.

WOW, YOU DON'T WASTE ANY TIME, DO YOU?

AND HE'S WEARING MICHAEL'S ROBE!

WHO IS THIS?

THIS IS MY FATHER, YOU STUPID KANGAROO.

THIS IS MICHAEL'S DERANGED EX-WIFE.

NO, NO! NOT EX-WIFE.

I AM HIS WIDOW.

HIS KILLER!

AND SHE CAME HERE TO KILL US, TOO.

I THINK YOU'D BETTER BE LEAVING NOW.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! I'M LEAVING.

BUT BEFORE I GO, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING OF MINE.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO, NO, NO, NO!

MICHAEL GAVE THAT TO ME!

[RIPPING]

[GASPS AND WHIMPERS]

OH!

NO, NO! OH! [GASPS]

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT PAINTING COSTS?

MOM, WHAT'S GOING ON? ARE YOU OKAY?

OH! ALEX, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I HAVE BEEN CALLING AND CALLING!

I'VE BEEN CAMPING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, AND MY PHONE RAN OUT OF JUICE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

ALL RIGHT, HONEY, YOU HAVE TO COME HOME RIGHT AWAY.

SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER.

[♪♪]

OH, ALEX.

MOM.

I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME.

I'M NOT WEARING A TIE TOMORROW.

ALEX, YOU HAVE TO, OUT OF RESPECT.

AFTER WHAT HE DID?

MOM! HE BROKE UP OUR FAMILY.

HE DIDN'T LEAVE YOU, HONEY, HE LEFT ME.

AND WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, HE WAS STILL YOUR FATHER.

HOW CAN THEY ARREST YOU?

THAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

ARE THEY ACTUALLY GONNA DRAG YOU FROM THE CEMETERY AND TOSS YOU INTO JAIL?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

[♪]

[POLICE RADIO CRACKLING]

AH. YOU AGAIN.

YOU KNOW, IT'S STILL NOT TOO LATE, MRS. BRANDON.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION.

YOU TELL ME NOW, AND MAYBE I CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT FOR YOU.

THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL.

THEN I'LL SEE YOU AT THE FUNERAL.

[♪]

[AUDREY]: AND THAT WAS IT--

THE MOMENT I KNEW I HAD TO SAVE MY OWN LIFE.

[♪♪]

WHAT WAS I GETTING MYSELF INTO?

INNOCENT WIDOWS DON'T GO ON THE LAM.

AND HOW WOULD IT LOOK THAT I SKIPPED MICHAEL'S FUNERAL?

WHAT WOULD ALEX THINK OF ME?

THE TRUTH WAS, MICHAEL AND I HAD SAID OUR GOODBYES.

BUT I NEEDED TO FIND OUT WHAT ELSE WAS GOING ON IN HIS LIFE FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS, AND THAT WOULD LEAD ME TO HIS KILLER.

[♪♪]

BUT WERE THE COPS WAITING TO GUN ME DOWN?

FIRST AND FOREMOST, I KNEW I HAD TO GET INTO THE CITY, THEN COME UP WITH A LIST OF PEOPLE TO TALK TO.

AFTER THAT, I'D JUST HAVE TO WING IT.

WAS THIS THE CRAZIEST PLAN OF ALL TIME?

MAYBE, BUT IT WAS THE ONLY PLAN I HAD.

[♪]

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

WERE MICHAEL'S FRIENDS AND EMPLOYEES REALLY GOING TO HELP ME?

[♪]

PLEASE NO, PLEASE NO, PLEASE NO, PLEASE NO.

[MUTTERING TO SELF]: OKAY... OKAY.

THIS IS GOOD. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD...

THAT'S GOOD.

[♪♪]

I DECIDED TO START WITH MICHAEL'S ENEMY, ARTIE GREEN, A MAN SO RECLUSIVE, HE ORDERED HIS MEALS DELIVERED ONLINE.

[RINGS BUZZER]

[BUZZER BLARES]

[SNAPS]: WHAT?

[MANLY VOICE]: UH... PACKAGE FROM...

STANDARD-TECH.

JUST LEAVE IT.

UH, I CAN'T.

YOU HAVE TO SIGN FOR IT.

[BUZZER BLARES]

[CHAIN CLACKS]

AUDREY?

BOY, ARE YOU IN TROUBLE! [SLAM]

ARTIE? HOW YOU DOIN'?

NOT DEAD, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I COULD MENTION!

OKAY, ARTIE, JUST LET ME IN.

GO AWAY.

PLEASE?

I'M NOT LISTENING.

HEY, ARTIE. YOU GOT SOME MAIL OUT HERE.

OH. LET'S SEE WHAT THIS IS.

OH, DEAR.

ARTIE, THERE'S SOMETHING HERE FROM THE F.B.I.

LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE NOT DONE WITH YOU YET.

[♪♪]

HUH. TIME TO RENEW YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO DORK DIGEST.

[♪♪]

HAVE THE POLICE BEEN HERE?

I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

WELL, YOU DO IF YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE.

WHAT DID THEY ASK?

WHAT YOU'D EXPECT.

WHERE WAS I WHEN MICHAEL WAS MURDERED.

AND? WHERE WERE YOU?

I WAS DANCING THE "MARINERA" IN PERU.

WHERE DO YOU THINK I WAS?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO MIGHT HAVE HAD A GRUDGE AGAINST HIM?

YEAH! YOU.

WELL, YOU TOO!

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HE DUMPED ONCE HE MADE IT.

BUT I'M NOT THE ONE THAT'S WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE.

I COULD CALL THE COPS RIGHT NOW, THEY'D BE HERE IN TWO SECONDS!

YEAH, BUT THEN, ARTIE, THEN YOU'D HAVE TO TALK ON THE PHONE, AND YOU WOULD HATE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?

IS IT TRUE THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF THIS PLACE IN MONTHS?

OH, ARTIE, I DON'T KNOW.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO RISK GOING OUTSIDE?

I MEAN... [SCOFFS]

GOD-KNOWS-WHO DOWN THERE?

OH, MAN, AND THEN YOU'D HAVE TO GO DOWN TO THE POLICE HEADQUARTERS AND BE INTERVIEWED...

AND THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING UP ALL OF THE PAST, ALL THAT PAST, ALL OVER AGAIN.

I JUST... [SIGHS]

ARTIE, LISTEN TO ME.

I DID NOT KILL MICHAEL.

THE REASON I RAN FROM THE POLICE WAS SO THAT I COULD TRY TO FIND OUT WHO DID.

YOU CAN'T STAY HERE!

ALL I NEED IS A FEW MINUTES OF YOU ON YOUR COMPUTER.

-ABSOLUTELY NO WAY! -IT'LL TAKE MAYBE 10 MINUTES--

I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ACCESSORY TO ANYTHING.

I CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!

EVEN THE THOUGHT OF IT HAS ME SH... SHAKING!

FINE.

THEN I'M STAYING.

[♪♪]

GO!

SHOO!

SHOO!

[SIGHS, FUMING]

[♪]

OKAY. OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

ALL RIGHT, I NEED YOU TO PULL UP MICHAEL'S APPOINTMENT CALENDAR AND PHONE LOGS FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS.

I DON'T THINK I CAN BREAK INTO THEIR SYSTEM.

THEY PUT UP A WHOLE NEW SECURITY FIREWALL SINCE I LEFT.

OH, NO, COME ON! A SMART GUY LIKE YOU?

OF COURSE YOU CAN. COME ON.

[ARTIE TYPING]

PHONE LOGS AND CALENDAR.

NOW VAMOOSE!

I JUST HAVE TO STUDY THIS.

OKAY, NOW, ON THE DAY THAT HE WAS MURDERED, MICHAEL HAD A 10:00 MEETING WITH HIS BANK, AN 11:30 CONFERENCE CALL WITH A "C.R.M.,"

WHOEVER THAT IS.

C.R. MacNAMARA. COULDN'T HAVE BEEN HIM.

HE'S BASED OUT OF JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING.

AND HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR.

AH. A 12:45 BRUNCH WITH CHUCK TATUM FROM MELCOTT AMERICAN.

THEN THERE'S JUST A LONG LIST OF INCOMING CALLS THAT AFTERNOON--

DAVID LARABEE, CARTER DIETRICHSON...

HUH! AND TWO CALLS FROM GRETCHEN VAN HORNE, WITH A "PLEASE CALL BACK."

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE FIRED HER.

HE FIRED GRETCHEN?

YEAH!

BUT SHE WAS SO DEVOTED TO HIM!

SHE USED TO CALL THE HOUSE AND THEY'D TALK BUSINESS, LIKE, EVERY NIGHT.

HE GOT VERY GOOD AT GETTING RID OF PEOPLE.

OKAY, I NEED YOU TO BRING UP HIS PHONE LOG AGAIN?

DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE LEAVING?

TRUST ME, I WON'T BE OFFENDED.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE FAR MORE IMPORTANT PEOPLE TO THREATEN.

JUST ACCESS IT AND I'M GONE.

I NEED TO KNOW THE LAST TIME THAT MICHAEL MADE AN OUTGOING CALL TO GRETCHEN VAN HORNE.

LAST THING!

[KEYS CLACKING]

MAY 31st.

ABOUT A MONTH AFTER HE FIRED HER.

SO THAT WAS ABOUT SIX WEEKS BEFORE MICHAEL WAS MURDERED.

WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN IS SHE PURSUING HIM?

AND WHY DIDN'T HE RETURN HER CALLS?

SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN... GOODBYE!

OKAY, BUT, ARTIE, YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME YOU WON'T CALL THE POLICE.

I NEVER SAW YOU.

I NEVER SPOKE TO YOU.

OH! JUST ONE MORE THING.

[ROARS]: AGH!

[RECEPTIONIST]: GRETCHEN VAN HORNE'S OFFICE.

[THICK ACCENT]: HI.

THIS IS THE SUPER FROM MS. VAN HORNE'S BUILDING.

WE GOT A TERRIBLE PROBLEM WITH BURST PIPE IN APARTMENT ABOVE HERS.

LOTS OF...

[WHISPERS]

...FLOODING!

TELL HER SHE MUST COME HOME NOW.

[BEEP]

THANKS, ARTIE.

HEY, ARTIE? YOU DON'T STILL THINK I DID IT, DO YOU?

YES. AND LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SAY, WE THAT WERE HIS VICTIMS THANK YOU.

[SLAM]

[LOCKS THUDDING AND CLACKING]

[PANTING]

[♪♪]

HI, GRETCHEN.

[DISTRACTEDLY]: HI, DOLL.

GRETCHEN, I HAVE A GUN.

I DON'T WANT TO USE IT, BUT DON'T TEMPT ME.

HONESTLY, AUDREY.

OKAY, NOW, I WANT YOU TO LAUGH AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.

[LOUD FORCED LAUGHTER]

YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.

OH, GRETCHEN. [CHUCKLES]

YOU SHOULD KNOW, I HAVE VERY HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

OH, SPARE ME.

WHY DID YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ARTIE GREEN?

AS A FAVOR TO MICHAEL.

HE WANTED SOMEONE TO MONITOR ARTIE'S HOSTILITY LEVEL.

WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES?

I JUST HAD THE AUBUSSON SHAMPOOED.

SIT DOWN!

[SIGHS RESENTFULLY]

AND HOW HOSTILE WAS ARTIE?

WELL, HOW HOSTILE WOULD YOU BE IF THE BUSINESS PARTNER YOU TRUSTED RUINED YOUR LIFE?

LISTEN, DOLL, I GET THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO PIN MICHAEL'S MURDER ON SOMEONE ELSE, BUT ARTIE IS AN AGORAPHOBE, A SHUT-IN.

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BELIEVE HE LEFT HIS PLACE AND TRAVELED ALL THE WAY TO THE SUBURBS JUST TO KILL YOUR HUSBAND?

ALL RIGHT, I GET YOUR POINT.

WHY DID MICHAEL FIRE YOU?

OH, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

I AM TRYING TO RECONSTRUCT HIS LIFE, SO THAT I CAN GET A HANDLE ON WHO MIGHT HAVE KILLED MICHAEL.

WELL, I DIDN'T DO IT.

OKAY, OKAY.

LISTEN, GRETCHEN, GRETCHEN.

I AM ON YOUR SIDE.

I ALWAYS TOLD MICHAEL THAT YOU WERE THE BEST BUSINESS PUBLICIST IN TOWN.

I MEAN, YOU MADE HIS REPUTATION, SO WHY... WHY LET YOU GO?

WAS IT BECAUSE OF CHRISTINE?

'CAUSE I HEARD THAT YOU TWO JUST, YOU KNOW, DIDN'T GET ALONG.

WELL, WHO SAID THAT?

I MEAN, WE'RE NOT MEILLEURES AMIES, BUT THAT'S PAST HISTORY.

I DEMAND YOU TELL ME WHO IS SPREADING SUCH SLANDER!

CHRISTINE!

[SCOFFS]: SHE WOULDN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING.

OH, NOT ME, BUT SHE TOLD EVERYONE ELSE IN TOWN.

SHE HAS BEEN SAYING THAT YOU ARE LOSING YOUR EDGE, AND THAT'S WHY SHE HAD MICHAEL FIRE YOU.

[SEETHING]: CHRISTINE?

OH, GRETCHEN, I WOULD NOT PUT UP WITH THAT IF I WERE YOU.

OH, NOTHING I DID WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER.

DID THAT TARANTULA TELL YOU THAT SHE WAS DESPERATE TO BE ON MORNING JOE?

WHAT DID SHE THINK?

I COULD JUST WAVE MY MAGIC WAND AND PRESTO, CHANGE-O, TURN HER INTO BETHENNY FRANKEL?

[SIGHS] TSK. LISTEN.

I'M 15 MINUTES LATE FOR LUNCH. JUST LET ME CALL MY CLIENT.

STOP!

YOU'D BEEN TRYING TO GET MICHAEL TO REHIRE YOU, BUT HE WOULDN'T EVEN RETURN YOUR CALLS.

SO WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

I KILLED HIM?

PUBLICISTS DON'T KILL.

WIVES KILL.

TELL ME SOMETHING.

IS CHRISTINE GOOD AT WHAT SHE DOES?

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

MICHAEL WAS CRAZY ABOUT HER.

BESOTTED, REALLY.

YOU SHOULD SEE SOME OF THE EMAILS THAT HE SENT ME ABOUT HER.

AND WAS IT MUTUAL?

NO. BABY WAS B-O-R-E-D, BORED.

MICHAEL WASN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH.

MS. VAN HORNE? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

NO! CALL 911.

[MAN]: YES, MA'AM. RIGHT AWAY.

[AUDREY]: OH, THIS IS GREAT.

OH, GRETCHEN, YOU...

[♪♪]

[GRETCHEN ON SPEAKER]: SHE'S GOT JET-BLACK HAIR, SHE'S WEARING A GREEN JACKET AND SHE'S CRAZY.

-IS SHE ARMED? -SHE'S CARRYING A GUN!

-IS SHE STILL THERE? -I'M NOT SURE.

JET-BLACK HAIR AND A GREEN JACKET!

SHE JUST LEFT HERE.

WHERE DID SHE GO?

[GRETCHEN]: I DON'T KNOW!

SHE JUST LEFT, YOU MORON!

[♪♪]

[OFFICERS SHOUTING, INDISTINCT]

ALL RIGHT, COME AROUND BACK!

[♪♪]

[♪]

[POLICE RADIO CRACKLING]: ...BACK-UP.

SUSPECT IS FEMALE WITH BLACK HAIR, WEARING A GREEN JACKET.

SUSPECT IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

I REPEAT: ARMED AND DANGEROUS. OVER.

[♪♪]

OH, NO, NO, NO!

MY PURSE!

[GASPS AND CRINGES]

[AUDREY]: JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE, IT DOES.

MY SUSPICIONS ABOUT CHRISTINE HAD ONLY BEEN STRENGTHENED, BUT NOW I HAD NO MONEY, NO PHONE, AND NO ONE TO HELP ME.

MY LIFE HAD BEEN TURNED INTO A COMBINATION OF EVERY BAD TV MOVIE EVER MADE.

ALL I NEEDED NOW WAS A SPONSOR.

I WAS EXHAUSTED, MY FEET WERE KILLING ME, BUT ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS HOW HUNGRY I WAS.

[BABY CRIES]

[♪♪]

I SWEAR ON A STACK OF BIBLES, I DIDN'T PLAN IT.

[MOTHER YELPS] HEY!

BUT THEN, I WOULD SWEAR ON A STACK OF BIBLES I NEVER DID SUCH A THING.

COME BACK HERE!

[♪]

[PANTING, STARTS LAUGHING GIDDILY]

[GROANS]

MM!

I TRIED TO FOCUS. WHERE TO NEXT?

THERE HAD TO BE SOMEBODY WHO COULD HELP ME.

[GASPS]

OH, COME ON!

[GROWLS, FUMING]

MRS. B?

J.J.? J.J. SEFTON!

I AM SO... OH! SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I GUESS I SHOULDN'T ASK WHAT'S NEW.

NO, YOU SHOULDN'T.

[RELIEVED SIGH]: OH...

J.J., I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD'VE DONE IF I HADN'T RUN INTO YOU.

I AM SO, SO TIRED, I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT.

OH, YOU'RE STILL NOT THINKING STRAIGHT, MRS. B.

I'M NOT?

THERE'S A $100,000 REWARD ON YOUR HEAD.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOUR HUSBAND'S COMPANY PUT UP THE MONEY.

FOR A HUNDRED "G"S, I WOULD SELL MY GRANDMOTHER'S WHEELCHAIR OUT FROM UNDER MY GRANDMOTHER.

OH, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NOT THE J.J. SEFTON WHO USED TO RIDE HIS SKATEBOARD INSIDE MY HOUSE, YOU'D NEVER DO THAT.

THAT J.J. SEFTON WAS BEST FRIENDS WITH MY SON.

RELAX. [LAUGHS]

THIS J.J. SEFTON WILL HELP YOU BECAUSE HE'S IMPRESSED THAT YOU ARE STILL AT LARGE.

[SMACK]

THANK YOU.

[SIGHS]

LOOK, UM, NOT THAT I DON'T APPRECIATE IT, BUT YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE?

DO YOU NEED A FAKE I.D. OR A PASSPORT?

'CAUSE I GOT A GUY WHO...

NO, ALL I NEED IS A PLACE TO SLEEP TONIGHT, AND TO GET WORD TO ALEX THAT I'M OKAY, AND TELL HIM WHERE HIS CAR IS PARKED, AND THEN TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE HOUSE.

PIECE OF CAKE.

YOU HUNGRY?

OH, YES. YES. YES.

[J.J. SNORING]

[AUDREY]: OH, I TRIED TO SLEEP, BUT ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS GETTING SOMEBODY IN TO CLEAN THIS PLACE ONCE A WEEK.

I WAS SURROUNDED BY DIRT.

[♪]

WHY WASN'T MICHAEL WEARING SHOES IN THE HOUSE THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER?

HE CERTAINLY DIDN'T LEAVE THEM BY THE FRONT DOOR TO BE CONSIDERATE.

NO... THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE.

FORGET ABOUT SLEEPING.

I COULD ALWAYS SLEEP WHEN I WAS FREE, OR IN THE SLAMMER.

I HAD WORK TO DO.

[♪♪]

I SOON DISCOVERED THAT BOTH OF CHRISTINE'S PARENTS WERE DEAD.

WOW! YOU DON'T WASTE ANY TIME, DO YOU?

THIS IS MY FATHER, YOU STUPID KANGAROO!

THAT WASN'T THE ONLY THING CHRISTINE WAS LYING ABOUT.

IT TURNS OUT SHE'D BEEN MARRIED AND DIVORCED TWICE AND IS THE MOTHER OF A CHILD.

MAYBE MICHAEL FOUND OUT AND CONFRONTED HER.

MAKES ME SICK TO THINK I LEFT A FINE WOMAN, A WONDERFUL WIFE AND MOTHER, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE...

FOR A LYING SACK OF TRASH LIKE YOU!

[GASPS INDIGNANTLY AND GROWLS]

[♪♪]

[SCREAMS PSYCHOTICALLY]

[GASPS DRAMATICALLY]

BUT WHY WOULD SHE KILL HIM IN MY KITCHEN?

[J.J.]: CHRISTINE VOLE'S OFFICE, PLEASE?

YES. THIS IS BARRY DETWEILER.

I'M A FACT-CHECKER AT NEWSDAY.

I'M JUST CALLING TO CONFIRM THAT IT WAS MS. VOLE WHO AUTHORIZED THE REWARD FOR MR. BRANDON'S KILLER?

AND MS. VOLE'S CORRECT TITLE, PLEASE?

"ACTING PRESIDENT."

MM-HMM. OH, THANK YOU.

THAT IS ALL I NEED.

SO, CHRISTINE DOESN'T NEED TO BE MICHAEL'S WIDOW AND HEIR.

WITH MICHAEL DEAD, SHE GETS PROMOTED WITH A SALARY BOOST AND STOCK OPTIONS.

OH, SHE IS A POWER IN HER OWN RIGHT.

AND THAT, SERGEANT MULLIGAN, IS WHAT WE PROFESSIONALS CALL "A MOTIVE."

YOU GOT TO HAND IT TO HER, THAT'S A PRETTY LITTLE SCHEME.

YOU WANT ME TO CALL HER ASSISTANT BACK, SEE IF I CAN GET MORE INFO?

NO, NO, NO. SHE'S PAID TO KEEP CONFIDENCES.

AW, TOO BAD YOU CAN'T GET HER FIRED.

I BET SHE WOULD TALK THEN.

HELEN NICKERSON.

WHO?

SHE USED BE MICHAEL'S SECRETARY.

HE CALLED HER "THE WITCH OF WALL STREET,"

AND HE FIRED HER RIGHT BEFORE HE LEFT ME.

[♪♪]

[♪]

AH. LOOK WHO THE CAT DRAGGED IN.

HELEN, I'M SORRY TO BARGE IN ON YOU LIKE THIS, AND, NO, I DIDN'T DO IT.

AW, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING, DEARIE?

TRADED YOU IN FOR A NEWER MODEL, AND YOU KILLED HIM!

I'M JUST SO GLAD THAT I FOUND YOU HOME.

WHERE WOULD I GO?

YOU WORK FOR A MAN, YOU WORK FOR A COMPANY FOR 18 YEARS, YOU THINK YOU'D EXPECT SOME SECURITY AND SOME LOYALTY.

INSTEAD, IT'S "THANKS A LOT," AND OUT WITH THE GARBAGE.

HEY, I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

BUT DIDN'T MICHAEL GIVE YOU A BIG SETTLEMENT?

NOT AS MUCH AS I DESERVED.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?

WHO'S GOING TO HIRE ME AT THIS POINT OF MY LIFE?

OH, NOW, COME ON!

NOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS YOU COULD STILL DO.

I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

WITH YOUR EYE, YOU COULD BE A DECORATOR.

PLEASE, DEARIE.

BOTH OF US ARE UNWANTED GOODS.

UH, CORRECTION.

AT LEAST YOU'RE WANTED.

OF COURSE THEY CHOSE THIS PICTURE.

OH, HELEN, NOW, COME ON. YOU'RE AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN.

DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT IF I WAS PLANNING TO KILL MICHAEL, THAT I WOULD'VE DONE IT SO STUPIDLY?

I DON'T THINK YOU PLANNED IT.

I THINK YOU PROBABLY JUST WENT CRAZY FOR A MOMENT.

IF YOU THINK THERE'S EVEN THE SLIGHTEST POSSIBILITY THAT I DIDN'T DO IT, THEN PLEASE, PLEASE, JUST GIVE ME THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.

[SIGHS WEARILY]

[CUPS AND SPOONS CLINKING]

OH, THANK YOU.

SO, ACCORDING TO MY SOURCES, CHRISTINE WAS INVOLVED WITH A MAN WHO WAS OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER.

JEFF SHELDRAKE.

[OPENING MICKEY]

JEFF SHELDRAKE, THE HEAD OF METROPOLITAN-WELLS?

ARE YOU SURE?

[HELEN]: YEAH, APPARENTLY, THEY HAD, UH, A LOT OF LONG LUNCHES...

LIKE, "UNTIL 5:00" LONG.

DID MICHAEL KNOW ABOUT THIS?

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HE DID.

HOW DID MICHAEL AND CHRISTINE MEET, ANYWAY?

DR. DIETRICHSON INTRODUCED THEM.

CARTER?

[HELEN]: HE BROUGHT HER UP TO THE OFFICE ONE DAY, AND THEY ALL WENT OUT FOR LUNCH.

BUT HOW ON EARTH WOULD CARTER KNOW CHRISTINE?

I MEAN, HE'S A PLASTIC SURGEON.

[STOPS LAUGHING]

UNLESS SHE WAS ONE OF HIS PATIENTS.

COULD I SWEAR TO IT? NO.

BUT I'VE SEEN THAT MODEL NOSE OF HER'S ALL OVER TOWN.

IT WAS PRETTY SOON AFTER THAT THAT SHE WENT TO WORK FOR MICHAEL AND THE PHONE CALLS FROM MANDY STOPPED.

MANDY? WHO'S MANDY?

YOU DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT MICHAEL LEFT FOR CHRISTINE, DO YOU, DEARIE?

[♪♪]

I NEVER MET HER, BUT I'M SURE SHE WAS A REAL PRIZE.

IT WAS BEFORE HE MET CHRISTINE.

THERE WERE A LOT OF CALLS FROM A "MANDY."

[AUDREY]: YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD!

IT'S MY FRIEND, MANDY.

SHE'S MAKING ME RUN THREE NIGHTS A WEEK.

OH, REMEMBER?

SHE'S A LAWYER AT MY OLD FIRM.

I WAS ALWAYS AMAZED THAT MICHAEL FOUND TIME TO WORK.

[♪♪]

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

NOT THAT I FOUND OUT, BUT, UH, JOAN LARABEE MIGHT KNOW.

JOAN LARABEE? WHY WOULD I ASK JOAN LARABEE?

SHE TALKED WITH MICHAEL TWO, THREE TIMES A DAY.

I-I-I'M SORRY.

I THINK THAT YOU HAVE HER CONFUSED WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

NOBODY WOULD EVER CONFUSE JOAN LARABEE WITH ANYBODY.

AND WAS MICHAEL HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH JOAN, TOO?

NO, NO. I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK SHE GOT HER JOLLIES FROM HEARING ABOUT WHAT HE WAS DOING, AND HE GOT HIS FROM TELLING HER.

[♪♪]

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT THE WOMEN IN YOUR HUSBAND'S LIFE, DON'T ASK ME, ASK JOAN LARABEE.

[♪]

SO, AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS, YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT HE WAS CHEATING ON YOU?

NO. NONE.

I MEAN, YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEBODY, AND--

COME ON! HE MUST'VE LEFT YOU SOME CLUES.

NO. I'M TELLING YOU, I WAS COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT OUR MARRIAGE WASN'T PERFECT, BUT WHEN I LOOKED AROUND, IT SEEMED TO BE AS GOOD AS ANYBODY ELSE'S. THANK YOU.

DID YOU EVER CHEAT ON HIM?

NEVER!

YOU WERE NEVER EVEN TEMPTED?

WELL, YOU KNOW...

ONCE.

[CHUCKLES]: WHO WAS HE?

MY OLD COLLEGE BOYFRIEND, DAVID LARABEE.

L-- "LARABEE" LARABEE?

MARRIED TO JOAN?

YEP.

OH, HO-HO-HO, HO-HO-HO!

THE PLOT THICKENS.

WHEN MICHAEL NEEDED CLIENTS, I CALLED DAVID, AND INVITED HIM TO SHUN LEE, WHICH USED TO BE "OUR PLACE."

WELL, HE LOOKED AMAZING, AND WE COULD STILL MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH.

MICHAEL, FOR ALL OF HIS CHARMS, WAS NOT A FUNNY GUY.

OKAY, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

CUT TO THE JUICY PART.

NOTHING HAPPENED.

DAVID WAS A TOTAL GENTLEMAN.

NO, HE HAD MOVED ON.

HE HAD A GORGEOUS WIFE, GORGEOUS LIFE, BUT I DID CONVINCE HIM TO GIVE MICHAEL A CHANCE.

IN FACT...

DAVID CALLED MICHAEL THE DAY THAT HE WAS KILLED.

YOU SHOULD CALL HIM.

NO, I-I CAN'T.

WHY NOT? HE CAN HELP YOU.

I MEAN, I MEAN-- NO. [SCOFFS]

AT THIS POINT, WE ARE PRACTICALLY STRANGERS, AND I DOUBT HE'D HELP ME.

BESIDES, JOAN'S THE ONE WHO WOULD KNOW SOMETHING, AND SHE WOULD NEVER TALK TO ME.

FORGET IT.

[PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

[AUDREY]: HEY, IT'S ME. CAN YOU TALK?

YES!

YOU'RE ALIVE!

AND WELL, EXCEPT WHEN I IMAGINE MYSELF IN THE PRISON CAFETERIA WEARING AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT.

HAVE YOU SEEN ALEX?

YES, YES, HE CAME OVER TO DINNER AFTER THE FUNERAL, WHICH, PARDON THE PUN, WAS DEADLY.

OH, AUD, I THINK YOU GOT TO KNOW THIS.

YOU KNOW YOUR NEMESIS, MULLIGAN?

HE'S GOT THIS NEW THEORY.

HE SAYS THE REASON YOU SKIPPED TOWN IS YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DRAW ATTENTION TO THE REAL KILLER.

OH, YEAH? AND WHO IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?

ALEX.

HE SAID HE INTERVIEWED ALL OF ALEX'S FRIENDS AND THEY ALL SAID THAT MICHAEL AND HE DIDN'T GET ALONG.

NO! THAT-- THAT'S CRAZY!

I MEAN, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF.

AND BESIDES, ALEX WAS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, CAMPING WITH HIS FRIENDS ON THE DAY MICHAEL WAS MURDERED.

NO, THEY THINK HE WAS LYING.

THERE'S ACTUALLY A PHOTO OF HIM IN THE CITY THE DAY OF THE MURDER.

OH, I GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I HAVE NO CHOICE.

I'M TURNING MYSELF IN.

THE POLICE THINK THAT ALEX IS THE KILLER.

WHOA, WHOA!

GET OUT OF MY WAY.

DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA LET MY SON BE ARRESTED FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT?

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART. -I AM SMART!

REALLY? BECAUSE A SMART PERSON WOULD REALIZE THAT YOU'RE DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE COPS WANT YOU TO DO--

TURN YOURSELF IN.

THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

YOU KNEW?

ALEX TOLD ME WHEN I CALLED, BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF THEY HAD ANYTHING REAL AGAINST ALEX, THAT THEY WOULD'VE CHARGED HIM BY NOW?

YEAH, BUT HE LIED ABOUT BEING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE!

OH, MY GOD!

THEN THEY'RE DEFINITELY GONNA PUT HIM ON DEATH ROW!

[QUIETLY]: RELAX.

ALEX IS COOL.

IF YOU TURN YOURSELF IN NOW, THE COPS ARE GONNA STOP LOOKING FOR THE REAL KILLER.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?

I FOUND YOU A LAWYER.

BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING RASH, I NEED YOU TO TALK TO JOEY LILAC.

THERE'S A PERSON NAMED "JOEY LILAC?"

[♪♪]

[♪]

MR. LILAC?

[BRITISH ACCENT]: JOEY. AND, UH...

THIS IS "TINY."

HELLO, TINY.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

I'VE SEEN YOUR PICTURE EVERYWHERE, BUT UNTIL YOU SAT DOWN BESIDE ME, I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU.

WELL, NOBODY NOTICES MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN.

WE MIGHT AS WELL BE INVISIBLE.

STOP IT.

J.J. WAS RIGHT, YOU'RE A LOOKER.

A REGULAR TINA LOUISE.

YOU KNOW, I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE, WHAT WITH YOU TAKING A POWDER.

BUT IF ANYONE SEES US, I'M JUST A REGULAR BLOKE TAKING HIS DOG FOR A WALK.

BESIDES, YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR MY RETAINER.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

A MATE IN THE D.A.'S OFFICE TOLD ME THEY'VE FROZEN YOUR ASSETS.

[AUDREY SIGHS]

NOW, I COULD APPLY TO LIFT THE FREEZE TO PAY YOUR LEGAL FEES, BUT I'D HAVE TO PRODUCE YOU.

YOU WANT TO BE PRODUCED?

NO, THANK YOU.

I FIGURED AS MUCH.

SO WHY DID YOU COME?

LET'S JUST SAY YOUR STORY INTRIGUES ME.

BESIDES, MONEY HAS A WAY OF FINDING ITS WAY INTO MY POCKET.

NOW, CAN YOU THINK OF ANYONE ELSE WHO MIGHT HAVE DONE IT?

YOU KNOW, BESIDES THE GIRLFRIEND?

WELL, I DID JUST FIND OUT THAT CHRISTINE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH JEFF SHELDRAKE, WHO SHE CLAIMED WAS HER FATHER.

SHE COULD'VE PUT HIM UP TO IT.

MEN...

THROUGHOUT THE AGES, HAVE SUCCUMBED TO THE WILES OF THE FEMALE SEX, EVER SINCE DELILAH.

AND MAYBE MICHAEL FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

BUT THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHAT THEY WERE DOING IN MY KITCHEN.

LET ME DO A LITTLE DIGGING.

NOW, I CAN'T GET THE LAB REPORTS UNTIL YOU'RE INDICTED, BUT I CAN TALK TO A DETECTIVE MATE AND SEE IF HE CAN COME UP WITH A FEW PIECES OF PAPER.

THANK YOU, MISTER-- JOEY.

BUT I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST.

THE COPS ARE ANGRY.

RIGHT.

AND THE TIME IS ALMOST PAST WHERE WE CAN MAKE ANY KIND OF DEAL FOR YOU.

HANG TIGHT.

ALL RIGHT? TINY, COME ON.

COME ON!

SO WHY DID CARTER INTRODUCE CHRISTINE TO YOUR HUSBAND IN THE FIRST PLACE?

THAT'S WHAT I INTEND TO FIND OUT.

UH, OKAY, BOSS.

WHAT'S THE PLAN?

WELL, FOR ONE THING, YOU'RE STAYING HERE.

WHY CAN'T I HELP YOU?

YOU'VE ALREADY HELPED ME IN MORE WAYS THAN YOU KNOW.

THEN YOU'D BETTER TAKE THIS.

IT MAY COME IN HANDY.

WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I-I-I WOULDN'T TRUST MYSELF WITH A REAL GUN.

IT'S FAKE.

IT IS?

WELL, UH, IN THAT CASE, OKAY.

[CLICK]

WOW, IT JUST LOOKS SO REAL.

WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK I'D GIVE YOU A PIECE OF JUNK?

[LAUGHS]: THANKS, J.J.

THANK YOU.

[♪]

[REMOTE ENTRY CHIRPS]

[♪]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[HUMS TO HIMSELF AS HE DRIVE]

[SWITCHES TO WHISTLING]

[GUN TRIGGER COCKS]

-WHAT THE-- -KEEP DRIVING, CARTER.

I'M DRIVING STRAIGHT TO THE POLICE, YOU LUNATIC.

-AH! -AH!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

I HOPE YOU REALIZE--

I'M NOT GONNA GET AWAY WITH IT.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. [LOWERS WINDOW]

ARE YOU CRAZY? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT PHONE COST ME?

THAT'S GONNA BE YOU, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO GET OFF AT THE NEXT EXIT.

PULL OVER.

I WILL DO NO SUCH THING.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF NEIGHBORHOOD THIS IS?

NOW, CARTER, I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO KILL YOU, BUT BELIEVE ME, I CAN SHOOT YOU WHERE IT HURTS.

NOW PULL OVER.

NOW KILL THE ENGINE AND THE LIGHTS.

KEYS.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA THROW THOSE OUT THE WINDOW, ARE YOU?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON WHETHER YOU ANSWER MY QUESTIONS OR NOT.

WHY DID YOU CALL MICHAEL ON THE DAY HE WAS KILLED?

UH, HIS CHIN.

HE WANTED TO CLEAN UP HIS JAWLINE.

MY MICHAEL?

YEAH, WELL, HE WASN'T YOUR MICHAEL ANYMORE NOW, WAS HE?

ALL RIGHT. TOUCHE.

THEN WHY DID HE COME TO MY HOUSE THAT NIGHT?

I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW. WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST MOVE THAT THING OUT OF--

OH, JUST CALM DOWN, CARTER. YOU JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH, YOU'LL GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE AND INTACT.

YOU INTRODUCED CHRISTINE TO MICHAEL?

RIGHT?

YES.

WHY?

UH, SHE WAS A CASUAL ACQUAINTANCE.

SHE'D HEARD ABOUT MICHAEL'S COMPANY AND SHE ASKED ME TO ARRANGE A MEETING.

WERE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER?

OF COURSE NOT! AH!

WERE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER?

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

AND WAS IT STILL GOING ON WHEN YOU INTRODUCED HER TO MICHAEL?

YES.

DOES PHYLLIS KNOW?

NO! AND DON'T YOU TELL HER.

SHE'S BEEN HAVING A HARD ENOUGH TIME AS IT IS LATELY.

SHE'S BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO YOU, AUDREY.

YOU JUST LEAVE HER ALONE.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN FURIOUS WHEN SHE DUMPED YOU FOR MICHAEL.

YEAH, WELL, I WASN'T ANGRY ENOUGH TO KILL HIM.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MANDY?

WHO?

HE WAS INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE NAMED MANDY BEFORE CHRISTINE.

IS THAT THE SAME MANDY PHYLLIS RUNS WITH?

I NEVER HEARD OF HER. NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME GO?

AH!

OH, JUST, UH, ONE LAST QUESTION.

CHRISTINE'S NOSE.

DID YOU FIX IT?

YEAH.

[DROPS KEYS]

[♪♪]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[AUDREY]: SO, CARTER WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH CHRISTINE AS WELL.

IT WAS SOMETHING, BUT I NEEDED A LOT MORE.

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT THE WOMEN IN YOUR HUSBAND'S LIFE, DON'T ASK ME, ASK JOAN LARABEE.

[AUDREY]: THE PROBLEM WAS, THERE WAS NO WAY JOAN LARABEE WOULD EVER HELP ME.

J.J. WAS RIGHT, I HAD TO TALK TO DAVID.

BUT WOULD DAVID TALK TO ME?

[LINE RINGING]

COME ON.

PICK UP, PLEASE.

[RINGING]

I'M LEAVING NOW.

I SHOULD BE THERE IN 20 MINUTES.

ORDER ME A MARTINI.

DAVID?

WHO IS THIS?

IT'S AUDREY.

AUDREY.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM?

LOOK, I'M SORRY TO AMBUSH YOU LIKE THIS, BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE.

LOOK, AUDREY, I-I CAN'T GET INVOLVED.

I JUST NEED YOU TO GET SOME INFORMATION FROM JOAN.

THAT'S IT.

LOOK, I HAVE TO GO.

YOU KNOW, UH, BEFORE MICHAEL LEFT ME, HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD SOME INFORMATION ON A CERTAIN COMPANY THAT YOU WERE ACQUIRING THAT HE THOUGHT THE S.E.C. MIGHT FIND VERY INTERESTING.

REALLY, AUDREY?

WHAT? WHAT DO YOU GOT?

OH, WELL, I'D BE PRETTY STUPID IF I TOLD YOU.

THEN DON'T BOTHER.

[SLAM]

-DON'T-- -[DIAL TONE BUZZING]

[SIGHS]

[CLACK]

COME ON.

[COINS DROPPING]

[RINGING]

OKAY, DON'T HANG UP. DON'T HANG UP.

I AM SORRY, UM, AND I'M OUT OF QUARTERS.

LOOK, AUDREY, I'M WALKING OUT THE DOOR, AND I'M LATE FOR SOMETHING.

THIS'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE.

I'M SORRY, DAVID. I...

LOOK, YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING.

THEN WHY CALL?

UH... OLD ACQUAINTANCE?

I AM OUT OF OPTIONS, UH...

PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO SAY TO YOU TO GET YOU TO HELP ME.

"I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK."

[HUGE SIGH]

[♪♪]

AUDREY.

DAVID.

THERE'S NOT MUCH I CAN TELL YOU.

MICHAEL WAS JOAN'S FRIEND.

BUT YOU TALKED TO HIM ON THE DAY HE WAS KILLED.

WHAT? WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT?

I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER.

IT HAD TO BE BUSINESS-RELATED.

I ONLY HAD A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.

DID YOU AND JOAN SPEND TIME WITH MICHAEL AND CHRISTINE?

YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

SORRY.

I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT.

YOU KNOW, APPARENTLY, EVERYONE ELSE DID.

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY OTHER WOMEN THAT MICHAEL WAS INVOLVED WITH?

I KNOW JOAN MENTIONED SOME OTHER WOMAN BEFORE CHRISTINE, BUT, TO BE HONEST, I--

I DON'T REMEMBER ANY DETAILS.

COULD YOU ASK JOAN FOR ME?

I KNOW SHE'D NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING.

DAVID, PLEASE.

I WOULDN'T ASK YOU IF I WASN'T DESPERATE.

[SIGHS]

COME ON.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

BACK TO MY PLACE. JOAN'S OUT OF TOWN.

NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE SEEN THERE WITH ME.

WE CAN GO TO A HOTEL.

RELAX. THAT'S NOT ON MY AGENDA.

BESIDES, WE NEED TO GET YOU SOMEPLACE SAFE.

YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU'RE HARBORING A FUGITIVE?

WHEN A MAN GIVES YOU A "YES," AUDREY, YOU DON'T WARN HIM ABOUT THE LOUSY BARGAIN HE'S MADE.

FAIR ENOUGH.

MRS. LARABEE, PLEASE?

[WOMAN]: IT'S NOT OUR POLICY TO PUT CALLS THROUGH.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT YOUR REGULATIONS ARE.

THIS IS HER HUSBAND.

CONNECT ME NOW.

[LINE RINGING]

[JOAN]: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?

SORRY TO WAKE YOU.

I NEED SOME INFORMATION ABOUT BRANDON ASSOCIATES.

CAN'T IT WAIT?

I'M IN AGONY!

SOME "RECOVERY CENTER" THIS IS.

DOCTORS HAVE ME SWITCHING SIDES EVERY TWO HOURS.

THE LEAST THEY CAN DO IS BASTE ME WITH A MAI TAI-AND-MORPHINE MARINADE.

I'LL HAVE THEM SEND UP ANOTHER ROUND WHEN WE'RE THROUGH.

[WHISPERS]: IS IT A TUMMY-TUCK?

[JOAN]: FINE.

WHAT?

CAN CHRISTINE RUN THE COMPANY AS WELL AS MICHAEL?

WELL, MICHAEL SEEMED TO THINK SO, BUT IT WAS BREAKING HIS HEART SHE WAS CHEATING ON HIM WITH JEFF SHELDRAKE.

[DAVID]: WHAT'D SHE EVER SEE IN THAT PRETENTIOUS STIFF?

TRUST ME, YOU'D BE AMAZED WHAT A WOMAN WILL OVERLOOK WHEN A MAN IS WORTH WHAT HE IS.

MICHAEL WAS TERRIFIED THAT IF HE COULDN'T COMPETE, HE'D LOSE HER.

WHY DID HE GO BACK TO HIS OLD HOUSE?

[JOAN]: WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT WAS TO GET A BILL OF SALE FROM SOME AWFUL PAINTING HE'D GIVEN CHRISTINE?

IF YOU KNEW WHAT IT WAS WORTH, YOU'D FAINT.

AND TO THINK HE ORIGINALLY BOUGHT IT FOR THAT OLD SCHOOL-MARM HE WAS MARRIED TO.

WHO WAS THE...

THE WOMAN THAT MICHAEL WAS INVOLVED WITH BEFORE CHRISTINE?

MARY? MITZI?

MITZI?

IT WAS MANDY.

WAS MICHAEL AS CRAZY ABOUT HER AS HE WAS CHRISTINE?

WELL, HE DUMPED HER FOR CHRISTINE, SO DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.

REALLY, DAVID, IS THIS WHAT YOU CONSIDER IMPORTANT?

DO YOU EVEN COMPREHEND THE TORTURE THAT I'VE BEEN PUT THROUGH?

I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP ON MY TUMMY FOR MONTHS!

I GUESS I JUST MISSED HEARING YOUR CHARMING VOICE.

WELL, DARLING, THIS CHARMING VOICE HAS TWO MORE WORDS FOR YOU, AND THEY'RE NOT "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

[CLICK, DIAL TONE BUZZES]

[HANGS UP]

WELL... SHE SOUNDS NICE.

NO, NO, DAVID, I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY, REALLY.

THANK YOU.

[FOLDS BILLS]

YOU HUNGRY?

[VENDING MACHINE CLACKS]

[GROANS]

THIS IS ONE CLASSY JOINT.

MAYBE NOT UP TO THE LEVEL OF THAT FIRETRAP WE STAYED AT IN BALI.

YEAH, WELL, WHAT IS?

NO, NO. ME.

WHAT WAS IT CALLED AGAIN?

DID IT HAVE A NAME?

THE BAGAS UBUD.

...UBUD! RIGHT.

[LAUGHS]

MY MOTHER WAS SO HORRIFIED WHEN I TOLD HER ABOUT THAT.

SHE CALLED IT

"THE BAD BEDBUGS."

SHE WASN'T FAR OFF FROM THE TRUTH.

YEAH.

HOW IS YOUR MOTHER?

OH, SHE DIED A FEW YEARS AGO.

[GRUNTS SYMPATHETICALLY]

YOU KNOW, SHE NEVER REALLY TRUSTED MICHAEL.

I WONDER IF MAYBE THAT BLINDED ME TO HIS FAULTS, YOU KNOW, JUST TO PROVE HER WRONG.

SHE WAS ALWAYS CRAZY ABOUT YOU, THOUGH.

SHE ALWAYS USED TO ASK, "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT NICE BOY DAVID?"

I OFTEN ASK MYSELF THE SAME THING.

YOU KNOW THAT TIME WE HAD LUNCH AT SHUN LEE?

WHEN I INTRODUCED YOU TO MICHAEL?

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'D BEEN IN THAT PLACE IN OVER 20 YEARS.

OH, COME ON!

WE USED TO EAT THERE, LIKE, TWICE A WEEK.

FIRST TIME I'D BEEN IN THAT NEIGHBORHOOD IN 20 YEARS.

MM.

HASN'T CHANGED MUCH.

[MACHINE DOOR THUNKS]

[♪]

JOAN AND I WERE HAPPY FOR ABOUT...

SIX MONTHS.

TOOK ME THAT LONG TO REALIZE WE'D GOTTEN MARRIED BECAUSE EACH OF US THOUGHT "IT WAS TIME."

HER OLD MAN THOUGHT I WAS A COMER.

SHE HAD THE LIFE I WANTED. THOUGHT I WANTED.

ANYWAY, MY LIFE IS MY OWN.

I HAVE A WIFE WHEN I NEED ONE.

[CHAIR CRACKS]

[AUDREY LAUGHING]

-GEEZ. -ARE YOU OKAY?

-YEAH. -I'LL GET YOU A TOWEL.

[KEEPS LAUGHING]

WHAT, YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

I JUST HAD THIS SUIT MADE FOR ME IN LONDON.

[STILL LAUGHING]

GOD! I SOUND LIKE JOAN.

[LAUGHING, SIGHS]: OH!

JUST SHOOT ME NOW.

OH, I'M SORRY. NO, I ONLY DO STABBINGS.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

WHAT ARE WE LAUGHING AT?

I'M WALKING THROUGH LIFE EMBALMED, AND YOU'RE AN ACCUSED KILLER ON THE LAM.

THAT'S TRUE... BUT OTHER THAN THAT, MRS. LINCOLN, HOW DID YOU ENJOY THE PLAY?

BEST SHOW IN TOWN.

YOU MISSED A LITTLE.

[LAUGHTER RESUMES]

[SNORTS]

SO...

MICHAEL'S SHOES WERE BY THE FRONT DOOR.

YEAH, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE.

BUT THE POLICE SAID THAT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS SNEAKING INTO THE HOUSE?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID, BUT YOU--

THERE'S SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

MAYBE IF HE WAS WEARING BOOTS.

STILL LIKE A CHEAP RED WITH A SCREW-TOP, RIGHT?

SWEET OF YOU TO REMEMBER.

BUT WHY WOULD THE KILLER TAKE OFF MICHAEL'S SHOES?

I DON'T KNOW.

AND IT WAS ALL JUST FOR A RECEIPT FOR A PAINTING?

DID YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS?

I DON'T KNOW. I NEVER...

I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

EITHER THE KILLER TOOK IT, OR HE HADN'T FOUND WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR, AND IT'S STILL THERE.

MM.

IF CHRISTINE WAS THE KILLER, SHE OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T FIND IT, OR SHE'D HAVE SOLD THE PAINTING BY NOW.

BUT IS CHRISTINE REALLY CAPABLE OF MURDER?

BUT THEN SHE'D HAVE TO RUN THE COMPANY ALL BY HERSELF.

THAT'S WHAT WE NEED TO FIND OUT.

[♪]


[♪]

AS YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD A LONG RELATIONSHIP WITH BRANDON ASSOCIATES.

I WOULD HOPE IT'S BEEN PROFITABLE FOR BOTH OF US.

FOR YOU, MAYBE, BUT NOT FOR ME, WHICH IS WHY I AM DROPPING YOUR SERVICES.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE.

YOUR REPORT ON NORTON-HAZELTINE COULD HAVE BEEN DONE BY A SECOND-RATE SOPHOMORE AT ANY THIRD-RATE COLLEGE.

I DON'T ACCEPT THAT.

YOU'RE NO MORE FIT TO RUN A RESEARCH COMPANY THAN YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS.

I'M VERY QUALIFIED.

YOUR BACKGROUND IS FINANCE, ISN'T IT?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN OVERSEE A HUNDRED OR SO ACADEMIC TYPES?

BY CREATING A VP SLOT SOLELY FOR QUALITY CONTROL, AND I GUARANTEE YOU--

YOU CAN'T GUARANTEE ANYTHING.

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS TWO MONTHS TO TURN YOU AROUND.

PLEASE.

NOT AT THESE RATES.

25% OFF YOUR BILLING FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

AND, AFTER THE TRIAL PERIOD, A BLANKET 10% ON WHAT YOU'RE PAYING NOW, AND I WILL FREEZE THAT RATE FOR TWO YEARS.

YOU HAD THOSE FIGURES WORKED OUT BEFORE YOU CAME HERE.

[CHUCKLES]

A GIRL LIKES TO COME PREPARED.

I'LL GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.

THANK YOU.

I APOLOGIZE.

I SHOULD'VE ASKED YOU HOW YOU WERE DOING.

THIS MUST BE A TERRIBLE TIME FOR YOU.

[SIGHS] I'M A WRECK.

A WRECK. IT'S...

NOT JUST MICHAEL'S DEATH, IT'S THE FACT THAT HE WAS MURDERED.

DID YOU HEAR HIS PSYCHO WIFE TRIED TO KILL ME, TOO?

MY GOD.

I'M JUST...

I'M LUCKY I'M ALIVE.

I KNEW HER.

YEARS AGO.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S CAPABLE OF THAT KIND OF VIOLENCE.

OH, TO LOOK AT HER, YOU'D NEVER SUSPECT IT, BUT I HEAR SHE HAS SOME BOY-TOY STASHED AWAY SOMEWHERE.

SHE'S BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR YEARS.

I WAS JUST THE ICING ON THE CAKE.

YOU'RE A LITTLE MORE THAN ICING.

DID YOU KNOW THAT AFTER HE MOVED IN WITH ME, I STARTED GETTING ALL THESE SICK PHONE CALLS FROM HER?

FROM AUDREY?

OH, SHE'D DISGUISE HER VOICE, AND IT CAME FROM A BLOCKED NUMBER, BUT WHO ELSE HAD THE MOTIVE, RIGHT?

OH, MICHAEL COULD MAKE A WOMAN CRAZY.

BUT NOT YOU.

IT TAKES A LOT TO MAKE ME CRAZY.

I'M SURE IT DOES.

BY THE WAY, I, UM, ACCEPT YOUR TERMS.

WE'LL SPEAK AGAIN IN TWO MONTHS.

[CHRISTINE, RECORDED]: HOPEFULLY SOONER.

I'D LIKE THAT.

I'D LIKE THAT A LOT.

[CLICK]

WOW. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT THAT WOMAN WOULDN'T DO TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS?

SHE MAY NOT BE CARRYING A WEAPON, BUT SHE IS DEFINITELY ARMED AND DANGEROUS.

SO, YOU THINK SHE KILLED HIM?

SHE COULD HAVE DONE IT.

BUT JEFF SHELDRAKE, HELEN NICKERSON, GRETCHEN VAN HORNE, AND ARTIE GREEN ALL HAD STRONG MOTIVES, TOO.

AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT CARTER.

YOU KNOW, MICHAEL STOLE CHRISTINE FROM HIM.

BUT HERE'S WHAT I DON'T GET.

WHY DID CHRISTINE NEED TO CREATE SUCH AN ELABORATE STORY ABOUT PHONE CALLS?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, I JUST KNOW I DIDN'T DO IT.

THEN WHO DID?

[♪♪]

[TOGETHER]: MANDY!

YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO SHORE HAVEN.

THE COPS ARE GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR YOU, AND YOU KNOW YOUR HOUSE IS UNDER SURVEILLANCE.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

THEN I'M COMING WITH YOU.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

YOU KNOW, IF THEY CATCH ME, THEN THEY'LL CATCH YOU.

HOW ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO GET THERE?

I RENTED A CAR.

HOW? THEY'D HAVE TAKEN ONE LOOK AT YOUR LICENSE AND--

"LORRAINE MINOSA?"

HOW DID YOU GET THIS?

I GOT A GUY.

[LAUGHS]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, AUD.

I'LL FLY YOU SOMEWHERE ON A PRIVATE PLANE, GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU NEED.

YOU CAN SLIP INTO A WHOLE NEW LIFE.

WOW.

IF I TOLD YOU I NEVER THINK ABOUT SECOND CHANCES, I'D BE LYING.

BUT I'M A MOTHER AND I CAN'T LEAVE MY SON.

I UNDERSTAND.

AND, PLUS, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ON THE RUN, AND I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP YOURS.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I NEED.

[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]

[♪]

SO, WHO'S THE BOY-TOY YOU'VE GOT STASHED AWAY?

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM, I REALLY CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THEIR NAMES.

TAKE THIS.

ONLY I HAVE THE NUMBER.

YOU SURE I CAN'T COME WITH YOU?

OH, DAVID.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS--

I KNOW.

ME TOO.

[♪]

[STARTS ENGINE]

OH! WAIT A MINUTE.

I ALMOST FORGOT.

AHH.

YOU KNOW...

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS.

YOU NOT KILLING MICHAEL MIGHT BE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

[♪]

[PHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

HEY, IT'S ME. CAN YOU TALK?

HEY, SUSAN. I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.

THE POLICE ARE HERE.

THEY'RE ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT AUDREY BRANDON.

[♪♪]

[TINY PANTING]

-HI. -HI.

HAVE A SANDWICH AND A SODA.

OH! THANK YOU.

NOW, I COULDN'T PRY THE TIRE REPORT OUT OF THE POLICE LAB, BUT I GOT A MATE TO GIVE ME THE HIGHLIGHTS.

YOU WEREN'T HALLUCINATING.

THERE WERE TWO DIFFERENT SETS OF TIRE TRACKS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY THAT NIGHT.

YOUR HUSBAND'S CAR HAS PIRELLI P-ZEROS.

THE OTHERS WERE MICHELIN MXP.

SO THIS IS GOOD NEWS?

WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE HAVING WHAT'S HER NAME--

-...THE GIRLFRIEND-- -CHRISTINE.

...GET A GUILT-FIT AND OFFER A VIDEOTAPED CONFESSION, BUT IT'S NOT BAD.

NO, NO. IT CORROBORATES PART OF MY STORY.

JUST A SMALL PART, TO BE HONEST, BUT IT'S A START, AND, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING FOR ME TO TAKE UP WITH THE D.A.

-OKAY. -MEANWHILE...

YOU STAY PUT.

SURE, JOEY.

COME ON, TINY!

[AUDREY]: ONLY I HAD TOO MUCH AT STAKE TO "STAY PUT."

I KNEW THE RISK I WAS TAKING, BUT AT LEAST I HAD MY GOOD FRIENDS TO COUNT ON.

BUT WOULD PHYLLIS HELP SOMEONE WHO HAD ABDUCTED HER HUSBAND AT GUNPOINT?

[♪♪]

[♪]

[WHUMP]

[♪♪]

OH, MY GOD! AUDREY!

OH! HOW ARE YOU?

I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

LOOK, I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH CARTER.

I GUESS YOU ARE UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE.

I REALLY AM.

HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET A GUN?

WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY.

AUDREY? DID YOU DO IT?

NO!

OKAY.

I JUST NEEDED YOU TO LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THAT.

LISTEN TO ME, PHYLLIS.

I NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIND YOUR FRIEND, MANDY.

MANDY? WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN MANDY?

SHE'S THE ONE WHO HAD AN AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL BEFORE HE STARTED UP WITH CHRISTINE.

OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND.

MANDY'S FLAT-CHESTED AND SHE HAS BIG TEETH.

PEOPLE SAY SHE CAN EAT AN APPLE THROUGH A TENNIS RACKET.

BESIDES, SHE JUST MADE PARTNER, AND SHE'S WORKING ALL THE TIME.

WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES?

SHE JUST MOVED. I THINK MORWOOD CRESCENT.

DO YOU KNOW WHICH HOUSE?

IT'S A SPLIT-LEVEL, BUT THEN, THEY'RE ALL SPLIT-LEVELS--

-YOU MUST HAVE HER NUMBER? -LET'S GO INSIDE?

NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE.

CARTER MIGHT--

NO, CARTER'S NOT HOME YET.

LOOK, WE NEED TO TALK THROUGH THINGS CALMLY.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

I'VE GOT A POMME DARTOIS IN THE OVEN.

PHYLLIS! PLEASE!

I'M SORRY.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.

[SIREN NEARBY]

WHAT DO I DO?

[SIRENS WAILING]

RUN!

[♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

[♪]

[POLICE]: I NEED BACKUP NOW. SHE'S HEADING TO THE FOREST.

-POLICE! FREEZE! -[SHOT ZINGS]

[AUDREY CRIES OUT AND CRASHES INTO BUSH]

[KNOCKING]

WHAT IS GOING ON?

WHAT IS-- WHAT-- OH, MY GOD!

YOU LOOK LIKE ZELDA FITZGERALD, AFTER SHE WENT NUTS!

[GASPS]: WHAT HAPPENED?

-OH, THE POLICE SHOT ME. -WHAT?

MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL!

NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. THEN THEY'D ARREST ME.

IT'S ONLY A GRAZE, NOT LIKE I HIT AN ARTERY OR--

[CELL RINGS]

WHAT'RE YOU DOING LOOK AT THIS.

BLEEDING ALL OVER THE FLOOR!

-DAVID-- -DAVID?

-UH, YEAH. -YOU OKAY?

NO, I'M FINE.

GOOD. LISTEN. I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

NO, SHE'S NOT FINE. OH, MY GOD.

I SPOKE TO JOAN, AND I FOUND OUT SOMETHING INTERESTING.

YOU DID?

OKAY, JOAN DISTINCTLY REMEMBERS MICHAEL DESCRIBING MANDY AS "BEAUTIFUL, ELEGANT, AND OVERSEXED."

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE PHYLLIS WAS TALKING ABOUT A DIFFERENT MANDY.

OR MANDY'S ATTRACTIVE, AND PHYLLIS WAS LYING?

BUT WHY?

ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT TO GET OVER TO PHYLLIS'S, WE'VE GOT TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH!

ANITA? DO YOU KNOW WHERE-- OH, MY GOD!

SHE'S HERE.

I'M GONNA HOLD HER AND YOU CALL THE POLICE!

-TED! TED! TED! -LET HER GO!

LET HER GO!

GET THIS OFF!

HAVE YOU TAKEN LEAVE OF YOUR SENSES?

YOU'RE HARBORING A FUGITIVE HERE!

THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND.

I'M GOING TO PROVE TO EVERYBODY THAT SHE'S INNOCENT!

INNOCENT? LIKE LIZZIE BORDEN?

HOW ARE WE GONNA GET YOU TO--

I FORBID YOU TO GET INVOLVED, ANITA!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? FORBID.

WOULD YOU RELAX ALREADY?

RELAX?

I AM A PODIATRIST, AND YOU'RE TURNING ME INTO AN ACCESSORY.

HERE. I SWIPED TED'S GUN.

I DON'T NEED IT.

I STILL HAVE MY FAKE ONE.

YOU NEED A REAL ONE.

I DON'T INTEND TO SHOOT ANYBODY.

TAKE IT.

[♪♪]

[MUFFLED]: YOU KNOW I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC.

[♪♪]

HELLO, OFFICER.

EVENING.

YES, OFFICER. ANITA DIXON.

YOU REMEMBER ME? HERE.

RIGHT.

OH, LISTEN, OFFICER, AUDREY BRANDON LEFT MY HOUSE TWO MINUTES AGO.

WHAT DID SHE WANT?

WHERE DID SHE SAY SHE WAS GOING?

I DON'T KNOW. SHE WAS VERY AGITATED.

UM, SHE SAID, UH, SHE--

SHE PARKED HER RENTED CAR AT MELVIN PLACE.

IT'S A BLUE TOYOTA.

PLEASE LET ME IN TO SEE MRS. DIETRICHSON.

WE REALLY NEED TO CALM EACH OTHER DOWN.

ALL RIGHT. LET HER GO.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S ROUND IT UP.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS. LET'S GO! MOVE. MOVE.

[♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

[SIRENS RECEDING IN DISTANCE]

OH, MY GOD!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS NIGHTMARE?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

-YES. -IS CARTER HOME?

NO, HE'S NOT HOME YET.

-OH, GOD. -[REMOTE ENTRY CHIRPS]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-[YELPS] -OH, SHH!

[♪♪]

COME ON.

[PHYLLIS BALKS]

[♪♪]

-PHYLLIS-- -WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

AUDREY IS INNOCENT.

I CAN VOUCH FOR HER.

AND SHE'S BEEN SHOT.

OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU OKAY?

-I-I WILL BE. -THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!

YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.

THAT IS WHY WE NEED YOUR HELP.

-COME ON, PHYLLIS, PLEASE. -WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

[MULLIGAN]: MRS. DIETRICHSON? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

-OH! -WHAT?

TELL HIM WE'RE FINE, THAT WE'RE JUST TRYING TO UNWIND.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

MRS. DIETRICHSON!

-MRS. DIETRICHSON! -WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-SHH! -BE QUIET.

[MULLIGAN]: HELLO?

WHY DID YOU TELL AUDREY THAT MANDY WAS UGLY?

BECAUSE SHE IS.

THAT'S NOT WHAT MICHAEL TOLD JOAN LARABEE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AUDREY.

BESIDES, HOW CAN I THINK LOGICALLY, STUFFED IN A CLOSET?

DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT MANDY DROPPED YOU OFF THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER?

-SO? -SO SHE COULD'VE EASILY--

...DRIVEN BACK TO AUDREY'S RIGHT AFTERWARDS.

HOW DO I KNOW? I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT.

WHY DID CARTER TELL ME HE'D NEVER MET MANDY?

MAYBE HE WAS CONFUSED.

CAN WE PLEASE GET OUT OF THIS MARX BROTHERS STATEROOM?

WAIT A SECOND!

WHAT?

MANDY DOESN'T EXIST, DOES SHE?

PHYLLIS!

YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR SO HELP ME GOD, I'M GONNA HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A TEAPOT.

I NEEDED A WAY TO GET OUT AT NIGHT OCCASIONALLY.

IT WAS JUST A LITTLE LIE THAT GREW AND GREW.

THEN WHY DID HIS EX-SECRETARY SAY THAT A WOMAN NAMED "MANDY"

KEPT ON CALLING HIM AT THE OFFICE?

I DON'T KNOW! DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT WOMAN WAS A CRAZY OLD LUSH?

BESIDES, THERE'S MORE THAN ONE MANDY IN THE WORLD.

WELL, THE WOMAN THAT MICHAEL WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH WAS MANDY.

IT WASN'T MANDY. I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE--

-OH, MY GOD. WHAT?

MANDY IS PHYLLIS, AND PHYLLIS KILLED MICHAEL!

[GASPS] NO!

HELP!

[THUD]

IT'S KIDNAPPING! AND MURDER!

BE VERY CAREFUL, MRS. BRANDON.

LIKEWISE.

LOOK. I TALKED TO YOUR LAWYER A FEW HOURS AGO, A MR. JOEY LILAC.

YOU HAVE A LAWYER NAMED JOEY LILAC?

NOW, HE MADE SOME VERY GOOD POINTS.

MAYBE YOU DO HAVE A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS, BUT I MUST ASK YOU TO PUT THE GUN DOWN.

ARE YOU GONNA PUT YOURS DOWN?

I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT.

WELL, THEN I'M AFRAID I CAN'T EITHER.

SHOULD I PROCEED?

YES, PLEASE.

I AM SO CONFUSED!

OKAY, THE MORNING AFTER THE MURDER.

I SAW TWO MEN FROM YOUR FORENSICS UNIT MAKING MOLDS OF TIRE TRACKS ON MY FRONT LAWN, BUT THEY WERE MADE FROM TWO DIFFERENT TIRES.

CHECK DR. AND MRS. DIETRICHSON'S TIRES FOR A MATCH.

THIS IS SIMPLY INSANE.

PHYL, THIS ISN'T A CHAT, THIS IS A MONOLOGUE.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

MAY I PLEASE SIT DOWN?

THANK YOU.

NOW, BOTH CARTER AND PHYLLIS DENIED HAVING SEEN MICHAEL IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD ON THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER, BUT A FEW DAYS LATER, I ASKED PHYLLIS WHAT TIME SHE GOT HOME THAT NIGHT.

I GOT HOME ABOUT 10, 10:30.

AND DID YOU GO RIGHT TO BED?

YOU KNOW ME. I SUDDENLY FELT LIKE BAKING BRIOCHE.

THIS IS SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE WHY?

-IT'S NOT! -QUIET!

PHYLLIS PRIDES HERSELF ON DOING IT THE CLASSIC WAY--

NO SHORTCUTS!

WHERE THE DOUGH GOES THROUGH THREE RISINGS.

-AT LEAST. -WHICH MEANS THAT...

SHE WOULDN'T FINISH BAKING UNTIL 4:00 IN THE MORNING.

THE QUESTION IS, WHY WAS SHE UP BAKING AT THAT HOUR?

AFTER SHE COMMITTED THE MURDER, PHYLLIS WAS WIRED, SHE COULDN'T JUST GO TO SLEEP.

I MEAN, SHE NEEDED SOME SORT OF AN OUTLET.

YOU'RE SAYING THAT, AFTER THE GARDEN CLUB, I KILLED MICHAEL, THEN WENT HOME AND BAKED BRIOCHE?

MM. TRUST ME, IT'S DELICIOUS!

BEFORE HE MET CHRISTINE VOLE, MY HUSBAND WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A WOMAN NAMED "MANDY,"

WHO WAS, IN REALITY, PHYLLIS.

IS THIS TRUE?

OF COURSE NOT. IT'S CRAZY!

THEY SPOKE CONSTANTLY FROM HIS OFFICE.

CHECK YOUR PHONE RECORDS, YOU'LL SEE.

MM. THIS PUTS A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIGHT ON THE STORY, DOESN'T IT?

YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE TAKING ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY.

YOU POOR LITTLE THING.

YOU'VE REALLY HAVE SNAPPED, HAVEN'T YOU?

MICHAEL DUMPED PHYLLIS FOR CHRISTINE, THE SAME WOMAN WHO WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER HUSBAND, CARTER.

SHE THEN MADE A SERIES OF THREATENING PHONE CALLS TO CHRISTINE.

HAVE YOUR PEOPLE CHECK THOSE PHONE LOGS, TOO. THE POINT IS, PHYLLIS FELT DOUBLY BETRAYED, AND SHE WANTED REVENGE.

I SUPPOSE I LURED MICHAEL TO YOUR HOUSE, TOO?

NO, NO, THAT WAS JUST AN UNFORTUNATE COINCIDENCE.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

[♪♪]

-ME? -YES, YOU.

[♪♪]

[♪]

SERGEANT?

JUST GIVE ME A COUPLE OF MINUTES, TURNER. I'M BUSY HERE.

[♪♪]

MICHAEL WAS TERRIFIED THAT HE WAS LOSING CHRISTINE TO ANOTHER MAN, AND SO HE GAVE HER AN EXPENSIVE PAINTING THAT HE HAD BOUGHT FOR ME.

SHE HATED IT AND WANTED THE CASH INSTEAD.

HE HAD LEFT THE BILL OF SALE AT THE HOUSE, SO HE CAME HOME TO FIND IT AT AN HOUR HE FIGURED I'D BE ASLEEP.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM, HE ARRIVED AT THE SAME TIME PHYLLIS WAS COMING HOME FROM HER GARDEN CLUB MEETING.

I HAVE BEEN PATIENT LONG ENOUGH.

YOU'VE GOT TO END THIS.

NO, I'M NOT LEAVING CHRISTINE.

I LOVE YOU, AND I THINK YOU'RE MAKING--

STOP IT, STOP IT! STOP IT! IT'S OVER!

YOU AND I ARE DONE. WE'RE THROUGH, ALL RIGHT?

NOT THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING--

[AUDREY]: PHYLLIS HAD GIVEN UP HER JOB, HER MARRIAGE WAS EMPTY, AND THEN MICHAEL TOOK AWAY THE ONLY THING SHE HAD LEFT--

AH-HAH!

-...HOPE. -[PHYLLIS ROARS]

THAT'S YOUR BIG STORY?

OH, NO. THAT'S JUST THE PROLOGUE.

PHYLLIS THEN GOT RID OF ALL HER FINGERPRINTS, WHICH IS WHY NONE WERE FOUND IN THE HOUSE.

YOU REMEMBER HOW I TOLD YOU MICHAEL NEVER TOOK OFF HIS SHOES?

YES...

THE SPRINKLERS HAD BEEN ON EARLIER THAT NIGHT.

THE GROUND WAS WET.

PHYLLIS WOULD'VE HAD TO GET RID OF THEIR FOOTPRINTS IN THE HOUSE...

[♪♪]

SHE KNEW THAT THE POLICE WOULD BE SUSPICIOUS IF MICHAEL'S SHOES WERE MUDDY BUT THE FLOOR WAS STILL SPARKLING-CLEAN.

SO SHE TOOK THEM OFF, AND SHE DID SOMETHING THAT MICHAEL WOULD NEVER DO...

SHE PLACED THEM NEATLY AT THE FRONT DOOR.

SO PHYLLIS KILLED MICHAEL, AND THEN SHE STAYED AND CLEANED UP AFTER?

WOW, THAT IS CLASS.

[AUDREY]: PHYLLIS THEN RACED BACK TO HER HOUSE, WHERE SHE WAITED FOR HER HUSBAND, CARTER, TO COME HOME.

IT WAS THEN THAT SHE STARTED MAKING THE BRIOCHE.

THIS IS ALL LIES.

I HAVE NEVER HAD AN AFFAIR WITH ANYONE.

I WAS YOUR FRIEND, PHYLLIS.

YOU SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND, YOU KILLED HIM, AND THEN YOU TRIED TO PIN IT ON ME!

I TOOK A BULLET FOR YOU!

NO WAY. WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU GOT SHOT? WHEN?

TONIGHT! ONE OF YOUR MEN SHOT ME WHILE I WAS RUNNING FROM HERE EARLIER.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

NONE OF MY MEN HAVE DISCHARGED THEIR WEAPONS.

WE THOUGHT YOU WERE SHOOTING AT US!

WELL, IT WASN'T ME.

IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN HER. SHE WAS OUTSIDE WITH ME.

WELL, WHO SHOT YOU, THEN?

-YOU LET ME IN! -SIR, YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE!

LET GO OF ME! LET GO!

CARTER!

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOT ME TONIGHT.

OFFICER, I JUST NOW GOT BACK FROM THE CITY.

DR. DIETRICHSON, PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.

TURNER, WAIT OUTSIDE FOR ME.

[SNAPS]: HAVE A SEAT!

NOW, PHYLLIS LIED TO ME EARLIER TONIGHT.

YOU WERE HOME!

AND PHYLLIS TIPPED YOU OFF.

AUDREY! OH, MY GOD.

[♪♪]

THEN YOU CALLED THE POLICE...

BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO RUN INTO THOSE WOODS, AND YOU SHOT ME!

[SHOT FIRES]

THE BULLET GRAZED MY ARM AND THEN HIT A TREE, AND I CAN SHOW YOU THE TREE.

I BETCHA ANYTHING THE BULLET IS GONNA MATCH CARTER'S GUN.

[♪♪]

CARTER...

DID YOU KNOW THAT PHYLLIS WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL?

NO. I WILL NOT BE PUT THROUGH THIS AGAIN.

GO AHEAD, SHOOT ME IF YOU MUST.

DR. DIETRICHSON, PLEASE. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

YOU'RE TAKING HER SIDE NOW?

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ANSWER SOONER OR LATER.

CARTER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY PRESENT.

NO, SERGEANT.

I'M SURE PHYLLIS WOULD NEVER BE UNFAITHFUL.

CARTER...

PLEASE, TELL THE TRUTH.

JUST BECAUSE PHYLLIS WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MICHAEL DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE HER A MURDERER.

[♪♪]

AUDREY BRANDON MURDERED HER HUSBAND.

THAT IS ALL I NEED TO SAY.

NOW, LOOK, MRS. DIETRICHSON.

DR. DIETRICHSON, I'M NOT GONNA PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES, BUT IF YOU COOPERATE WITH ME RIGHT NOW, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT NONE OF YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY IS MADE PUBLIC.

[♪♪]

-HEY! -WHOA!

-HEY! -HEY!

BACKYARD! BACKYARD!

-BACKYARD! -PHYLLIS!

NO, NO.

-POLICE! -FREEZE!

-PHYLLIS! -PHYLLIS, NO!

-FREEZE! -STOP RIGHT THERE, LADY!

FREEZE!

-FREEZE! -NO!

[SPLASHING]

[PHYLLIS GASPING]

OH, I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

[OFFICER]: I THINK WE GOT HER, SIR.

GET OUT OF THE POOL, MA'AM.

[CHUCKLES]: HUH. NOT EVEN LOADED.

IT'S NOT?

OOPS. SORRY.

[SIGHS]

CARTER, WHAT HAPPENED ON THE NIGHT OF MICHAEL'S MURDER?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.

CARTER?

WHAT HAPPENED ON THE NIGHT OF MICHAEL'S MURDER?

PHYLLIS WAS...

VERY FLUSH.

SHE TOLD ME SHE'D BEEN RUNNING.

THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN HER EXCUSE TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE TO SEE MICHAEL.

I THOUGHT IT HAD STARTED UP AGAIN.

AND WHEN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MURDER?

BE QUIET!

AND WHEN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MURDER?

THE NEXT MORNING.

I FOUND THE CLOTHES SHE'D BEEN WEARING, AND IN THE POCKET WAS THE BILL OF SALE FOR THE PAINTING MICHAEL HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR.

[♪♪]

I JUST KNEW SHE HAD DONE IT.

AND YET, YOU WERE WILLING TO LET ME GO TO JAIL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

WOULDN'T YOU DO THE SAME FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVED?

[♪]

[♪]

UH, YOU WERE BLUFFING WHEN YOU SAID YOU SAW THE BULLET HIT THE TREE, WEREN'T YOU?

WHAT AM I, A GERMAN SHEPHERD?

YOU THINK I CAN SEE A BULLET HIT A TREE IN THE DARK?

[CHUCKLES]: GOOD BLUFF, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WATCHED THE TRUE CRIME SHOWS, YOU WOULD KNOW HOW THESE THINGS ARE DONE.

IT'S NOT BRAIN SURGERY.

YOU WERE BRILLIANT.

WELL, THANK YOU.

A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT OFF THE HOOK YET.

WELL, YOU DID RUN.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I SAVED YOUR BACON.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE AUDREY ON THE VIEW?

"COPS GO AFTER INNOCENT WIDOW."

I THINK SHE'S TOO CLASSY FOR THAT.

OH, TRY ME.

AND THAT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING.

JOEY LILAC WILL HAVE EVERY PUBLISHER IN TOWN FIGHTING OVER WHO GETS TO MAKE A BOOK DEAL.

I'LL SEE OF I CAN GET THE D.A. TO DROP THE CHARGES.

YES, SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD.

NOW, MAY I PLEASE GO HOME AND SEE MY SON?

BE MY GUEST.

THANK YOU.

[♪]

-GOODNIGHT. -'NIGHT.

OH, HO, HO, HO!

WHAT THE...

YOU'RE, LIKE, FAMOUS NOW.

I'VE BEEN BRAGGING TO ALL MY FRIENDS.

I THINK IT WOULD BE "INFAMOUS."

WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

NO, IT'S NOTHING, IT'S JUST...

COME INSIDE. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.

DID YOU BUY ME A DRINK?

MAYBE.

[♪♪]

HELLO.

OH, THAT TASTES NICE.

YES.

HMM?

OH, MY GOD.

MM-HMM.

OKAY, OKAY.

[♪]

WHAT?

THIS WHOLE, LIKE, LAST WEEK HAS BEEN...

WELL, NOTHING SHORT OF SURREAL.

TURNS OUT YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE YOURSELF PRETTY WELL.

YEAH, WELL, I HAD A LITTLE HELP.

BUT STILL.

LOOK AT WHERE IT LED ME.

BACK TO CHINESE TAKE-OUT.

[LAUGHS]

I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.

FREE AND CLEAR, EXCEPT FOR THE PAPERWORK.

[♪]

WOULD YOU MAKE A WISH?

[BLOWS]

[♪♪]

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

ALREADY CAME TRUE.

[♪]

MM. GARLIC.

MM-HMM.

SOY SAUCE.

MM-HMM.

MOO GOO GAI PAN?

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪]