After Porn Ends 3 (2018) Script

[jazz blues playing]

[Johnnie Keyes] I helped change the sexual mores of this country, and made it legal for human beings to go to a store and rent a X-Rated movie legally.

And I helped make that thing a reality in this country.

So, I freed a lot of dicks and pussies. That's how I feel about it, you know what I mean, real talk. [laughs] That's some real talk.

[jazz blues playing]

[rock music playing]


When I first got into the industry, I was waiting tables for seven years.

And I was in college. I was a broke-college student.

I used to sell in market timeshare, and I really just hated my job.

And I actually have job satisfaction now. So, even on the days that it's bad, I just remind myself how much I love my work, and the next day is going to be better.

She was like: "Please, please, do the scene. I was like: "I'm not doing a fucking porn.

Now, get the fuck outa here." And they were like: "Lo, we'll give you basically three times what you make at your regular job for 45 minutes of doing what you did at home for free an hour ago."

I was like: "Okay. Let's do that."

He was my first scene in the business in 2006.

Did not go well... at all. Did not go well... at all.

It was so bad, I didn't want to work with her for like three years after that.

But three years later, he worked with me. And then it went well.

And it went well. And now we're married.

[piano music]


[Priya] I was treated a little differently.

[battle cry]

I think that actually got harder when I was more like in junior high and kids started picking on me. And like...

I would get jumped.

I got held down, my hair cut off.

[battle cry]

I was pretty. I was a pretty little girl. And so girls were very mean to me.

Little things like that would happen to me all throughout my teen years.

[battle cry]

[sinister music]

[Priya] I cannot be tamed. You know, wild child is being an extraordinaire, being not the norm.

[heavy breathing]

Like I just loved being free.

[Priya] And I'd say, like there's your conservatives and then your exhibitionist.

Two different types of personalities. Not one is better than the other.

They're just different. Society tries to tell you one is better than the other, but they're not.

[presenter] Remember guys, when you're throwing money during the fights, give it on the outside of the cage.

I don't wanna have to teach you all how to make it rain.

[Priya] I'm actually really super excited for this particular fight.

This is very new to me. I don't know. It's just something I wanted to tap into, have a lot of fun and be a little sexy.

And I was like: "Shit. Let's do it." [laughs]

[sinister music]

Okay. So where was I before that.

I was born in New Delhi. I came to America when I was eight months old.

I was adopted by a very religious family.

They adopted four of us and they had three of their own, so...

Theirs they're older, they're really involved in the church, so they're not really aware of the extent of what I do and who I am.

Yeah, I think she has had this idea that we were going to come.

We are going to be, you know, good Indian little kids.

We were gonna go to school like a normal Indian kid that comes from India.

I remember my mom looking at my brother and I, and she goes, she looked at my brother and goes:

"You were supposed to be my engineer." Then she was: "You were supposed to be my doctor."

And uhm, I just go on with doctor of love. [laughs]

She didn't like that too much.

Everything seems okay. Oooh.

So, at 15 I'm pregnant, '93.

I remember they had pregnant schools.

And they would ship all the pregnant girls to this one school.

We'd all come in on buses and we would go to school there until we get our kids and then we go back to school, so...

Definitely, a different world than it is now.

I look back, but... I did it.

It was kind of forced upon me to grow up really fast.

So, I went from being 15 to a parent.

You're ready? Alright. Hands up.

And so, it's rough, you know, trying to work and be a single parent.

I remember when I was looking at ads. I was like, "Topless dancers."

All right. I'm gonna go try this out, so...

[host] Priya Rai, she's is at Cheerleaders in the strip district and you're gonna be here for two shows tonight, Yes. and two shows tomorrow? Yes!

[Priya] Stripping for me, you know, you don't know what you're going come in there and make in the hustle. I was just, you know, being the little wild child at work.

I would be partying instead of working.

And then like, I just remember the girls in the back, I'd be rolling around on the floor. They would like: "Girl, why don't you just become a porn star. What the hell, doing your asshole up in the air just like, you know, it's just crazy."

And so I was like: "You know what? One day, I thought about it." I was like: "Why not?"

So, I lived in Phoenix, Arizona. I was in the circle of Jenna Jameson.

So, I would go to all the parties and I would talk to people.

And I remember I was in the pool talking to this guy.

I was like: "I want to be an actress and thought about doing..."

He's like: "Honey, you don't look like an actress."

He was like: "You look like a porn star." Back then, my tits were bigger than they are now.

I don't know. I have this thing. It's always been in the back of my head when I was always too chicken shit to really do it. And I'm like:

"You're a year away from being 30, bitch."

Like, if you're gonna do it, do it. Here's a perfect opportunity.

You know, In the beginning of my career, I was doing nude modeling, soft porn, should I say. My first share, I got a lot of death e-mails because of the niche of being... there are no East Indian American porn stars.

You know, there was a lot more going on in my life than to sit there and worry about some guy half-way across the country's opinion on what I was doing because, guess what, he's not paying my bills.

And he's probably not paying for his porn either, so...

Yeah. Doing good? All right.

[grunting]

[Priya] I had to deal with that within the first year, but I think, within the first to second year, it kind of calmed down and people begun to love me.

Who the fuck is that? What the fuck is she wearing?

Actually, making hardcore movies, I went in at 29.

There's days you go to work, and it's work, but then there's days you go to work, and I'm like: "I'm gonna have fun today."

[man] Look how sexy you are. So, let's go play. Hello to my licorice bra.

[gasp]

There are couple of scenes in the beginning of my career that taught me a lot sexually about myself.

Does that look like something that you like? It's so big.

[heavy breathing]

Take a breath. Where is water at?

[announcer] Fighting out of Fresno.

This former rodeo rider, adult star, cage fighter, total package of dynamite.

[woman announcer] Blatten Lee! [man announcer] Blatten Lee!

It... It was hard for me, because I had kids. So what I would do is, I would get up at 7:00 a.m. get on a flight, come to LA, be in hair and makeup by 8:30.

Got Priya here and she just look like a baby hot stuff.

Look. Is she in this... It's so hot outside.

Do my scene, be on the last flight back home to Phoenix to be home with my kids for dinner, or late, you know, to put them to bed.

But that's how I managed a career for the first two years.

I was going back and forth almost every other day.

[woman announcer] Priya! [man announcer] Priya!

[Priya] My daughter and I have a very good relationship,

but it got to a point she'd be at high school, and she's like, tell everybody:

"My mom's Priya. My mom's Priya," like: "Stop it!"

Like all these boys out my door, you know.

I was like: "Do you want them to come over for you or me, like just stop it!"

[woman announcer] Alright, here we go, guys. Round one! Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

[Priya] My son, he is now in college and he's doing well. I think for a couple of years, it really affected our relationship as he was going through puberty and I probably ruined it for him, but now it's like, we kind of laugh about it. He's cool about it. He's like: "Whatever."

He's like: "I know my friends have seen you." But I just kinda stayed away, like I don't go near them on campus."

I did go to his graduation, but I, you know, kind of just showed up and left.

I don't really linger around his friends or his people right now.

Just out of respect. He's a straight-A student. He's getting a full right scholarship, so that's a fun little experience.

So that's why I'm a little jealous of the whole like, college experience, but I don't know.

[tense music]

I probably still, uhm, expect more of myself, like I could have done it. I had uhm, extremely high GPA.

You know, I look back being 40, gonna be 40.

I do wish I could do... could have done things a little bit differently.

And that's what sucks, like, you know, just having a couple regrets.

I don't have many regrets because, I've lived life pretty wildly [laughs].

But, I do have regrets when it's coming to having a normal life just like kind of maybe missing out on doing things like maybe college or different things like that. I'm sitting here watching my son go to college and it's just like: "Wow, I got to miss out on all of that."

[melancholic music]

Hi.

You're at Expo 2018.

[Buck] In the United States, we don't really talk about sex and porn.

Yeah, there's a lot of stigma around pornography.

And that was very difficult for me to break through this idea, this stigma of being a porn star.

[Michael] Nearly everybody knows a sex worker now, but everybody keeps it hidden if you're a sex worker because you don't know who's safe, you don't know when it will come back to bite you.

Unfortunately, it's still legal to discriminate against sex workers and fire somebody because they used to be a sex worker in normal jobs.

[Michael] People have been fired from Subway because they previously had a porn past.

Teachers have had jobs for 15 years and they're fired because all of a sudden they found out they did porn. As if somehow having done this activity changes how they'll behave outwardly in society.

[Kira] Unfortunately, until our society can see sex workers in a better light, and we can have more resources to defend ourselves and keep ourselves healthy, then people are going to be able to attack us as easily as they have been for centuries.

[Luc] And there's the bad boy, the Master's choice with Ashley Renee.

She was one of my slaves before I met you, Alex.

We should take them into the basement, Luc. I know.

Then we have a whole basement downstairs full of slaves.

Yeah, that's a whole another show, though. Oh. [giggles]

[music]

[whispering]

[woman] Okay, we'll start from the top.

Okay. Luc Wylder, How did that happen?

How did Luc Wylder happen? Okay.

[Luc] We're in the mid '70s and the sex industry was booming.

And Time Square became a mecca for sexual deviance.

So, I began to explore and I got into bondage and discipline and S&M, and I began to perform for companies in New York that shot fetish, like Bizarre Video and Gotham Gold and Star Maker.

Master, Luc, she broke your chain. She what?

She broke it.

And I got good at it because I had studied Aikido when I was a kid, so I was into that fluid kind of motion that is involved in flogging and whipping people. [man] Very good.

I was the most in demand maledom in the adult industry.

And we came out to California and we began to make films out here.

[Luc] Alexandra, could you come on in here? Come in here for just a minute.

Wait, wait, wait.

What? She's crawling into that...

I was sitting over there. You should see the view I have.

How did I get my star? Well, I like sex. [laughs]

Let me show you how these work. I guess you could say, I was really a fan more than anything.

I loved watching adult movies.

So, like I knew, like for instance, my first movie was with Randy West.

Alexandra Silk is a very hot lady that had been in the business six or eight months before I met her.

In fact I met her at David Christopher's 4th of July party.

You know David, the pussy man?

Ross Sil... I don't know what the name of...

Ross Sex. Sex. [laughs]

We got married December 31st. 1999 in Las Vegas.

Ah, it was a fucking party, man.

It was not the traditional wedding, though. [laughs] We had a very...

I had a very short, short, short wedding dress, [laughs] and no panties.

If you could call that a dress, I suppose. And the judge was somewhat taken back by that.

Partied like it was 1999. [laughs]

And you've been my best friend ever since. Absolutely.

Hey, everybody. Come on in. Come on in.

Welcome to our home.

[Luc] We had both been married twice before. Both in open relationships.

We are swingers, and we're very safe in our practice, so, we like to encourage that. As we're always safe, but never sorry. [laughter]

Well, I want to say a little bit more about that. Yes, let's go.

We were like... We were just gonna remain this casual couple and we were gonna be fuck buddies... Yes, my best friend.

...and have this wonderful life.

Just hanging around. Waiting for Luc Wylder.

Oh, there. You're waiting for me?

Hi, Luc Wylder.

Oh, my goodness, look this is...

[Luc] In the background we began to do a lot of work together.

So, we wanted to make films that had a little bit more credibility.

A little bit more value. A little bit more oomph.

We built a company called Fallen Angel.

[Luc] In essence, what we did was, we created a company that would distribute adult video, but on higher standards than many people were used to.

Let me explain. It's some of the nastiest sex that you'll ever see.

The guy actually cums right inside the girl's pussy.

However, they're all couples. It's real couples having real sex with real cum.

We were offering something that was different.

This is like I knew it, adult stars at home. Thanks for doing this.

It was passionate. It was intense.

The Silk series, remember? I did a series called, Silk Stockings in silk panties and silk ties. It was very high end. It was quality.

Gosh, I remember when we were shooting that movie, Tramps [giggles] in New Orleans.

[interviewer] What do you think, Alexandra? You wanna go out there and play around a little bit and then come back in here and watch how T. Jay Harkin, you know, turn a guy on? Oh, yeah.

Mary Gates said: "Would you do a Travel Log series for us at Adam and Eve?"

We said: "Sure." [giggles] Road trip.

[rock music]

We went to 12 different states and had...

Sex across America from San Francisco. To New Orleans.

We are headed to New York next stop. Waikiki, Hawaii.

Had sex across America. I don't think you're telling the whole story.

[Luc] Give me the camera. Act like you like it. [Alexandra] Okay. Wait, wait

[laughing]

Camera... I think we're gonna crash.

When we first started shooting that series you were the hostess of the series.

Yeah.

Isn't that great, guys or what? [laughs] You guys are wild.

[Luc] I'm running around the country we're having all this wild, outrageous sex.

Mhm, and then the second volume we were on the plane. We're flying everywhere.

I think we're in Hawaii.

[Nic] Have you ever seen such a beautiful vegetation?

We caught ten-foot long blue marlins naked on a fishing boat in Hawaii.

We had sex in hot air balloons. I mean this was a series where we really got to do the things that you would want to do in a Travel Log.

That was so fun. [laughs]

[Luc] At the time, we were able to take the series and really kind of elevate the porn that we were shooting at that time. Through the locations, through the people that we would encounter while we were traveling.

Oh my gosh, that was, wait. That was just... No snoring.

What a pivoting point in our life.

That we're having fun traveling across America and then, all of a sudden, mom gets sick.

While we were in New Jersey, taking... caring for my mother, I went back to school.

And I completed my degree in Psychology.

So, when we came back, and went back to Chatsworth, everyone else was gone.

Where did everybody go? What happened?

In the adult industry What the fuck happened?

Chatsworth was the porn capital of the world. Maybe.

[Luc] All of those buildings, all of those companies had closed up.

Chatsworth had turned into a ghost town and all the companies and people that we knew were no longer there.

I understand now that our circumstances had changed.

So, you know, it's interesting. We're not who we are in our 20's, it's not who we are in our 30's, and it's not who we are in our 40's. We just keep evolving, you know.

I always go to my passion, you know.

Where's my passion in life? What can I do next?

Consequently, both Alex and I have now achieved our doctorates in Human Sexology.

Well, I became certified surrogate partner therapist.

And there's only 19 in the United States and I'm one of them.

It's very, uhm, serious work, it's healing work.

And it's my way of giving back to the world.

One orgasm at a time. [laughs] Right?

To go and meet a complete stranger, have sex in front of 20 people, no Viagra, no male enhancement pills, it's very difficult to stay hard and not cum immediately. So if you can prove that you can do that, you have a shot.

Anybody can do it, but not everybody can be successful at it.

Especially not long-term. And it is fun, it is an alternative lifestyle, but it's not a joke, it's not a game.

It is a career and it is a big business that can be very lucrative or very damaging to somebody.

[man] Wow. Hi.

[man] Hi, yourself. How are you there, beautiful?

Good. How are you doing? [man] How am I doing? How are you doing?

[man] I'm doing fine, thank you for asking me. Now that you're here, Wow, what's your name, gorgeous?

[continuous low buzz]

[muted] Shh.

[preacher] What is that one thing that you're holding on to?

That's making you become stuck and you can't move forward?

Some of us will hold you onto unforgiveness. We're holding on to pain, we're holding on to bad relationships. We're holding on to friendship, and we're holding on to all of these things and this is the reason why we can't move forward.

God gives you a new thing in you when you're surrounded by people who hinder you.

[Jenna] The unconditional love of God means that no matter what this person did to me, I will still love them. I will not hate them.

Don't hate your enemies, love your enemies.

Let me love people through you.

[tense music]

[Jenna] There were a lot of factors throughout my childhood and throughout my teenage years that would've resulted in me getting into the porn industry. I constantly had to live up to unfair standards.

You know, if I had a B+ plus on a report card, it was ripped up in front of my face, and I was called a loser.

I started, you know, searching for ways to become perfect.

And that's kind of where things started for me because I thought:

"Well if I could just be skinny enough, maybe then my mom will love me.

If I can be perfect enough and my grades are good enough, then maybe I'll be loved."

[Jenna] I remember watching, you know, the E-channel and seeing Jenna Jameson, the other vivid girls and it looked glitzy and glamorous.

And it looked like everything that I wanted to become.

They really portrayed the industry to be something that was lavish and beautiful.

So, that's what I was expecting.

Hey, Jenna, there's going to be a strip down here, we'll just take cold pictures. Okay.

Okay? Okay.

Okay. Hell, are you pretty?

[man] Yeah, you might be... Yeah. Yeah well, yeah.

Yeah just stay there, strip down and let's take cold pictures.

But, I need to take all of my clothes?

Yes, all of them, sorry. Really?

It is poignant. You are playing with the other camera, right?

Well, but I haven't ever done it before, so I was trying to get some... Okay, I'm not...

[man] You've never taken your clothes off before?

Must be a bitch when you shower. [laughter]

But, I haven't in front of boys? Oh, I see.

[director] Would it help if I was naked too?

[man] Please don't... Don't go to that extreme.

Alright, let's... Let's get this going because we got business. For other bitches to see.

It's so horrific to be asked, is it okay if a guy spits in your face?

Is it okay if a guy slaps you and pulls your hair really hard?

But at that time of my life, to me it was like: "Oh yeah, that's cool.

They want to shoot me. At least I'm wanted."

[man] Do you think you might be interested in doing a little hardcore stuff out there?

How much are we talking? A thousand.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

[applause from audience]

Brittni Ruiz who was known to millions as Jenna Presley.

One of the biggest stars in the porn industry.

Brittni, I remember we had someone on here who was the CEO of a porn company.

He said: "Women in porn, they were empowered."

You did about three sex scenes a day, did you feel empowered?

In the beginning I felt beautiful. Like I felt like I had found my self-worth.

And after a while, I felt destroyed, hopeless, I felt helpless.

[camera man] And here we are. Come on, bring it right here. Come on, baby.

Okay.

This is a set. Okay.

[camera man] I was just going to sit down and watch the monitor.

Show her what to do. Okay, well, I guess the first thing we will do is to show off how beautiful you are.

Okay. [laughs] So, this is where porn happen?

M-hm. Spin you around.

[Jenna] And it wasn't until I went into the church and truly surrendered my life to God and I said: "God, whatever your word says in this book right here, I'm gonna do it. Whatever it says, I'm gonna do it."

And I started following all of his commands, every word that I saw in this Bible.

I started to just do it.

I hit rock bottom in the porn industry twice.

Uhm, the first one was really, really bad.

Okay, let's all stand for prayer.

This was the time where I was a full-blown heroin addict. I was doing a lot of it.

Father, we come before you, Lord in the name of Jesus.

And, God I thank you for what you're doing in these women's lives, Lord.

I was depressed and I was suicidal. I wanted to take my life, but I was such a people pleaser that I felt like I was gonna let the directors down if I didn't show up to perform a scene.

[Jenna} God, I thank you that we are learning to take the limits off of ourselves that we could do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

So, I thought: "Okay." I can't commit suicide because there's too many people that are counting on me."

I wanted to cut my wrist, I wanted to do something, I just want to hurt myself, I just wanted to feel something. I felt so numb and I felt so lonely.

And I ended up just going to a tattoo shop and I started getting tattoos all over my body because I thought at least then I can feel something, you know.

Ans then the next day when I went to go do the movie, I had a girl tell me:

"What did you do to yourself? Why did you get all these big tattoos all over your body?

Nobody's going to want to hire you now." Once again in my life, I felt rejected.

And that was that point where I said: "Okay, I'm done with the porn industry, I'm leaving.

Like I'm not even going to be accepted here anymore."

And so I left for the first time.

[instrumental music]

[Jenna] I thought when I quit the first time, that I was gonna be done.

I had gone to church and that was when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but I didn't understand the importance of having a relationship with God because, having that relationship with God, that's where you get strength from God is spending time with Him.

Do you want something to eat? Or take it later.

Do you want me to pray for you?

My weakness at that time in my life, was men. If you sent me a man, I would instantly fall in love. I felt like somebody wanted me and I almost felt safer because I wasn't alone. I had a guy that God placed into my life and then he took me to church and then I got baptized.

I'm reading the Bible and I'm starting to do really good, and then this guy says:

"You are gonna be a bigger star than ever before."

[Jenna] It turns out he was a pimp, he got me back into the porn industry...

for another three and a half years.

It's a vicious cycle, in the porn industry, it starts with one thing and it's just goes on to the next and to the next and to the next until you just feel hopeless.

I knew that my life was gonna change forever when I met Jesus because a man cannot change your life. Because, a man is not your Savior, God is our Savior, Jesus is our Savior.

That's the only person that could ever transform my life.

God used Richard a lot in my life, so to be a part of him moving to change my life.

[Richard] And what I think the Triple X business does, is that it gives you temporary relief.

It gives you the sense of wow, people are noticing me, wow, I have money in my pocket but it doesn't fulfill your heart and your soul. It gave her promises that it cannot fulfill. It told her what she could have, but yet, it didn't fulfill her heart. It told her she was gonna be appreciated, but the moment when she was reaching for help, nobody was reaching out for her.

[Jenna] I want you to know that you are not alone. Anytime that you feel like you are unworthy, God wants you to know that you are worthy. And It just takes a bold step of faith of saying:

"You know what, I'm done." And faith, it's being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. So you may not see the better life, but you just have to have faith to believe that there is a better life and God wants to give you that better life, he really does. [applause]

For all you new girls, remember that this is forever. The internet is completely and totally forever and you can't take it back, your friends and family will find out. You will get harassed by people.

This will affect the rest of your life.

I've definitely seen girls in the industry where I'm like: "This is not a good place for you.

You shouldn't be here." [laugh] Uhm, and it is a tough industry.

You've got to have guts in porn nowadays because you are going to be judged.

So, you have to be okay with yourself and we all struggle, there is insecurities, we're all nervous about our bodies and our minds and our future.

But, you really do have to have a strong will when you come into this industry.

Especially, if you're younger and I completely acknowledge that, it's called "adult entertainment" for a reason.

Like you kind of have to be an adult to thrive.

I'm really glad that I get to be on your documentary finally.

It's about time you guys asked me.

I'm lying, they've asked me every time.

We're each other's holiday presents every day of the week here on vivid radio SiriusXM.

I've actually been with Vivid Radio which is on SiriusXM for the past three years.

And then before that, I was on Playboy Radio for 10 years on SiriusXM, So I just... I had like a two week period off and then just right back in business. And I love radio, it is so much fun.

It's Vivid radio's winter holiday special here on SiriusXM 415.

Your girls, here to just warm you up this holiday season.

I definitely am not over sex after being around since I was 18 in this business.

18, that's been in like two decades now.

Looking for that lightning bolt to strike me. [laughs]

Hey, boys, I'm Christy.

[rock music]

[rock and roll music]

What's your fantasy? I've got to hand it to you, Paul, you outdid yourself this time.

[Christy] I got in trouble because my girlfriend and I made Playboys and we sold them to the boys.

They were like stick figures.

But like I'm sure there was like this big weeny going on [laughs] and boobs or something.

So, I think it was from an early age that I'd somehow been in some kind of a business with nudity, I guess. I don't know.

When I got in the business, I wasn't talking to my parents.

Never was abused, I don't fall under that, never was hit, never was molested by anyone. I was just rebellious.

And I just knew that I'd... I had to be in control of my life when I was 17 and moved out.

So, when I got into the business and I had no money, nothing. And I hated that, like...

I hated being in that position and then when I met somebody and they're:

"Oh, you can make, you know, 500 a day or 200, whatever."

For an 18-year-old that was making like 150 a week working 40 hours at a job, it was like: "Wow!"

You don't need a car like this to take a beautiful woman out.

You're a beautiful woman. Thank you.

My first scenes that I look back on, nothing against Ron Jeremy because he's one of my best friends and I love him, that was the scariest fucking day of my life.

Looking for... hot babe with big huge tits for a loving couple.

Like I really thought I was going to a magazine or whatever and it was a loop, which I didn't know what a loop was at 18, it turned out it was a porn, and I'd been doing magazines for like three or four months.

Uhm, it was with Ron Jeremy and another couple.

[everybody] Come on.

Well... Oh, what the fuck. [everybody] Alright. Yeah.

And it was just scary. I don't care who the guy or girl was, it was like: "Oh my God, I'm having sex on film." How... And I don't mean to be mean because it turned out great for me eventually. "How low has my fucking life sunk?"

Oh, my God! Thank you, Lord. Oh, God.

But, then like the next time I did a scene and it was with Ginger Lynn.

Let's take a bath together. Together in there?

I'd never been with a girl. I was like: "Not only is it with a girl, but look how cute she is."

There was a whole different vibe on the set. It was like these really great looking people.

Like I get to have sex with them and they're paying me. I felt like a movie star.

I did a lot of firsts on camera, inter-racial, gangbang, girls.

I didn't know what was going to happen, but then he introduced me to this beautiful woman, Catherine.

Well, hurry up and get to the good stuff.

[Christy] Eighties, we made nothing, but fuck it was fun. It was fun, learned a lot about sex, can't put a price tag on that.

Has TV almost gotten you to a point of turning it off?

Well, don't pull that plug, because we're going to turn you on.

[Christy] This business has had more integrity for me.

I don't think you have to sleep your way in po... At least not in the '80's and '90's.

It's like... they were like: "Oh, my God, a girl wants to fuck on film for $500?

Hire her." Like they didn't wanna like ruin a good thing because back in the '80's, very few girls were doing it.

Never made to do a se... Like a sex act that I wasn't got, I never did anal, I never did DP, not because there's anything wrong with it, wasn't my choice.

No one said: "Well, we can't hire you if you don't take two dicks up your ass." No.

In September of 1990 is when I signed my contract with, what was then known as Vivid Video.

And it was the best move.

I never left. Because the fucking '90's rocked money-wise.

I mean, they were amazing.

[Christy] I never compared myself to anyone. I was my own person.

I didn't have to be number one.

I mean I kind of was.

[Christy] Men are only after two things, pussy and money, and fortunately, I've got both.

[laughter]

[Christy] And then in here is the messy office.

Like this photo that was taken of me, about two years ago.

Oh, that is lovely. No, I'm just kidding. It's like 1985. This was a big fucking hit and I made $400 off of it.

And so... Oh, you know what, this was another great thing.

It's a little dusty. My action figure doll.

I wouldn't wanna meet that version of me in a dark alley.

Hey, wait, where's that nice young boy?

I was going to give him a tub of Vivid condoms. [chuckles]

That's for you. It's your little party gift.

There you go. Wear them in good health.

It was just a different time. It was innocent. It was underground.

It was hidden. It was wonderful and it was just a cozy little family.

The one thing that I will never ever get rid of, and it's in my office, it's a big poster from one of the AVN shows of all the Vivid girls, Janine, Jenteal... and we all signed a poster to each other. See? That's the thing with me.

That's why I have no bad feelings about this business. I never took any of it seriously.

It's a sex clinic ran by Dr. Phil Lashio.

It was just my job and a fun fucking job.

Who wants to see me fuck the shit out of Steve? Yes! Yes.

I mean, I took a break for maybe a year, came back. I made like three comebacks.

Every time I got divorced, I'd make a comeback. As they were like moving out, I'd be like, "Time to make a comeback, Steve. Yeah, wait, he's packing up now."

Yeah, okay. I'm ready. Uh-huh. All right. Yes, it was great while it lasted. All right."

So, anyway, can you get Tony to dashy up, always want to have sex with him."

I just didn't miss a beat. I don't have one complaint about the business.

I loved it. I loved it. If I could go back in time and do films again under that era, I would do it in a heartbeat. I mean, I knew that there was a certain age where I wanted to hang it up. I don't even know why.

I think 14 years was enough, but I thought:

"What do I want to do after porn ends?"

Annie Cruise, what is your cock fucking choice for the holidays? Oh, lot of anal.

The new girl today. They will do anything. [chuckles]

So, I felt this warm sensation in my throat and I'm going:

"Oh, my God." I wasn't expecting... I didn't mean to be honest, I didn't even know what it was. The majority of men, they want to fuck a woman's ass.

Rap their dick in a little bow and then, they can come feed it to me.

She can do triple vag, triple anal.

Have them faced like their ass facing me.

I want the tit fucking Christmas cocks.

It's going to be like a fuck of the year. It's just fun.

It's just a good... Good old like, I... uhm, don't know if I can make films again, and yet, I love the business.

So it just kind of keeps me in the loop.

And I think just through porn and even radio, I've learned so much more about sex, obviously.

I mean people call in and they give me tips sometimes.

Something about a loofa on her boyfriend's dick.

I don't know. I tried it. It was actually good.

Thank you, Bob in Michigan.

This is an entertainment business, and entertainment is tough, and it's competitive. And it's not particularly fair.

Because people get very excited and they think it's easy money coming from all directions.

And You can get a quick influx of money when you're brand new, but you have to make sure that you're sustaining yourself long terms.

Well, back in the day, people would shoot one movie and you would get up to $30,000 for shooting one movie. It's not like that anymore.

I think the most valuable thing a performer especially can do nowadays is make, produce, and own your own content.

I produce my own content, I webcam, I do custom videos. I do porn.

I do a little bit of camming, a little bit of everything.

I made an identity out of myself and that was the best thing that I ever did was trademarking myself and creating a brand.

I think now more than ever, performers really do have more control over their brands and their success and their future than ever before.

Having an extra... that extra income gives you the ability to say:

"You know what, no, I don't wanna shoot that scene.

I'm gonna shoot the type of scenes that I want to shoot and I want to be...

This is the way that I want people to see me."

[Tera] Boy on a Dolphin, Sophia Loren. This woman could come out of the ocean.

He was laughing at me, the boy. He was all good, so big.

[Tera] She was in my opinion and still is the sultry siren. It was incredible to me.

So, I wanted to relive that, and feel that on stage.

And every time, still to this day, it's why I haven't stopped.

[rock music]

My father was in the Vietnam war. He's hippie. He was drafted over to Vietnam, met my mother there. They were both very young and they fell in love fast.

My mother, she did the best she could. I think that after 10 years, she saw a bigger world outside of Montana, and was like, [speaking Italian].

So, I was raised by my father. My father and I from a very early age had a very close relationship. My dad was into Rock and Roll.

He grew weed. He was studying to be a winemaker. You know, he was a bit rogue.

Even if he personally didn't like something, I knew that I could go home.

So at age 13, we enrolled me in Barbizon Modeling school.

I think just out of necessity.

[all] Welcome to Barbizon. [cheering]

So he said: "She'll go to this modeling school.

These, you know... These people will teach her everything she needs to know and she'll come out a lady."

And you become a really unique and wholesome person.

Okay, sort of.

[instrumental music]

I look at these pictures of myself, and I can... I can tell you every single picture I've ever taken, where I've been.

I was 15, living abroad, working as a model.

Now this, I think, this would be considered trafficking.

But I remember my dad always said, you know, the one thing he wanted me to be was fearless.

Paulina Porizkova was the first model that I can remember being wow.

And it was because she'd been in Playboy.

I'd taken my dad had that issue with her on the cover.

She was a supermodel, Paulina.

Seeing her in that Playboy, really changed it for me, because I realized:

"Wait, you can do both. You can be an elegant woman and show your body and, you know, uh, get naked, and it's okay."

You know, the more fashion models that I saw, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, this was Yasmeen Ghauri. This was the height of the supermodel.

There was something missing about them, in my opinion, and it was that they weren't sexual.

They just didn't... I always kind of gravitated to Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe. I liked... I liked the va-va-voom.

I found myself attracted to women that were, in my opinion, just uninhibited.

♪ Pa-dam pa-dam pa-tudeli-dam, pooh ♪

[Tera] You're really treated.

If you don't work, we have 10,000 other girls.

It's not ten, it's not five, it's 10,000 other girls. So, I gave up modeling.

I came to Los Angeles, I wanted to pursue working as a nurse anesthetist.

I had applied at school here.

[camera man] I was just thinking that you might be a model, are you?

No, I'm a student. Can't you tell?

Oh... Yeah, I just came home from school.

[Tera] Playboy was doing one of their Girls of the Campus or I don't even remember the exact title.

And I can remember going through the Playboy Studio West in Santa Monica.

It's kind of the first taste I had had of... They brought me champagne.

Marilyn said: "You're great." I went to The Mansion a week later. I'm like:

"You know what, hmm, nursing just isn't gonna cut it anymore."

You get a taste of this amazing life.

It was 10 star, you had publicity. They took such good care of us.

I'm the only woman who's been featured on the cover of Pent...

I was Penthouse Pet of the Year in February of 2002 and Playboy, on the cover of Playboy, the same month.

The crazy thing is, so, the gateway to porn for me was Playboy.

How could I not get into the business? I was introduced in the most incredible way.

And, I mean, I didn't have to do a six guy bukkake, right? It was like I went to Playboy.

If some girls aren't even college educated, this is a dream. I had a college degree and I wasn't making even a quarter of the money, so where was I going to continue?

My first crush in porn was Janine Lindemulder.

And I'll always remember she wore jeans, blue jeans and a white tank top with no bra.

She was smiling so big and she came over and hugged me.

And I was like: "This is... This is where I need to be. This is it. I'm... I'm in."

I feel like this is a fantasy and I'm making it come true.

Yeah, even better if you took off that part. That... The top bra thing.

[Tera] I realized if I'm getting into this, I have to make it worth my while.

Once you've had a dick in your mouth, you can never go back. You can't un-ring the bell.

Tera Patrick and the flesh.

[sound of air blasts]

There goes anonymity.

In a way, I think that early on in my career, I explored a lot of my sexualities. I think anal was the hardest thing.

I can't believe I whispered that anal, you know, I mean it was taboo a little bit.

I mean it was kind of like: "Okay, now she's gonna do anal." You know.

Actually, for me, what was a big deal was I never did girl-girl.

It's hot in here. Could we take off all our clothes? My God.

So when I did my first girl-girl scene in 2003, and of course, it was with a really beautiful woman, Savannah, with Vivian, for Tera, Tera, Tera.

Tera, Tera, Tera.

It was a great experience for me, but I was ready.

I never did anything that I didn't want to do. Ever.

We're out and open with what we do. I've always said, why do you think I wasn't in the mainstream? I have my own production.

You know, I'm making my own money. I'm doing what I want to do.

I don't want to do mainstream. I like sucking dick. That's what I'm famous for.

I didn't cure cancer. You know what I mean? I... I'm famous for being Tera Patrick.

And I can remember being in con. And I was on the red carpet too, and I had a police escort.

And people, they knew me, they were waiting for pictures.

They were waiting, and I said, they've all seen my pussy.

My pussy made it to Europe.

So how I ended up with Teravision, and on my own in the porn business starting from 2003 until I retired in 2009, was, uh, I became a feature dancer.

And this was what bankrolled my company. I went on the road as a feature dancer where we performed, uh, striptease shows in clubs. We made money, and I would go home and use that money to fund my movies.

The sales from my movies, half went into living, the other half went into savings.

We made a lot more money per movie, per scene.

A lot of us got residuals, a lot of us owned our content, owned our company. We had many ways to exploit our revenue.

I look at my body of work and Teravision, my website, I made beautiful work.

I mean, listen, we're not shooting Othello, you know, you...

The dialogue doesn't have to be perfect, get the cock in the mouth, the cum shot on the face and we're good.

So, is there anything else I can get you, guys?

I can't think of anything.

Yeah, what in the world could we possibly want after that?

The opportunity to work in Italy came up. And I said, Italy, this is the most beautiful country in the world. The best food, wine. I mean, yeah, I'm gone. I'm going.

Anything to do with food or money is what I learned first in Italian because you have to eat and you have to get paid.

And so the first phrase I learned was

[in Italian] Pay me now.

[Tera] I signed a contract to do feature shows. My very first feature show, my now husband Alberto had come from day one.

Of course, I wanted to sit on his face, you know, and this beautiful Italian accent, and...

But he fascinated me.

This is an open-minded man, I think to even jump in the water and see what it would be like to swim with me for a while. Yeah, it takes balls.

[whispering] I think I feel this one. Watch y'all.

Okay. Here we go.

[Tera] I love the business. I love my life now.

I'm just gonna... I'm gonna keep camming.

I'm gonna keep my websites, I'm gonna keep featuring. I'm never gonna stop.

I'm a pervert. I'm never gonna stop dancing and performing on stage.

And so, maybe that's when it's gonna end, maybe that's when porn is gonna end.

When they stop throwing the dollars. I hope not.

Guys, come to Cheerleaders next month.

I don't know if the analogy is the same, but I feel like it's almost like being a professional athlete. You have a few good years, in my opinion, physically, to do what you want. To make your mark. To make your splash.

And then, I wanted to go out gracefully.

This was something that early on I said: "I can't do this till I'm 50."

And I don't want to but, I am so grateful, and I always will be because I've been retired for 10 years and I still sell in webcam.

And I have thousands of website members.

My life in the adult business has not resulted in anything negative for me.

Have I hit some speed bumps? Had a lawsuit? Fucked the wrong guy a few times? Sure!

But I'm not damaged to a point where I'm bankrupt, destitute, and trying to figure out: "What do I want to do with my life?"

It's a movie industry combine with sex. Nothing more.

It is what you make of it. It's an artistic medium that is meant to draw out a reaction from people, turned on, angry, whatever it is, it's working.

I really unlocked a piece of my sexuality that, uhm... That was hidden before I got here, and porn really helped open it up. And it's built me confidence.

It's different that where you should learn how to have sex, the same way that you wouldn't watch a waste crapping movie, and then feel like you have to go slaughter a teenager in a camp in summer wearing a hockey mask. You know what I mean?

So specific.

Now so, what should we talk about?

[laughs]

Nina gave me one of the best compliments when I was put into the whole famous Herschel Savage.

"Steel wrapped in skin, that was his cock." I love that.

[interviewer] That's an unbelievably...

That's a great compliment coming from Nina Hartley. Come on.

Can you believe it? Sometimes, horses have wings, baby.

You know, like I would've taken the next Grinch, but I was happy with what I had.

But I never competed with anybody. I was not one of those guys, you know.

I had literally had the young porn stars come on the set, and tell me shit like:

"I could cum eight times in a day. I got a nine-inch dick." I said: "Nice to meet you.

Get the fuck out of my face." No, I didn't say that, but still, I mean, you know, people try to promote themselves as you know, give me a break, man. Just say hello.

I'm looking for the manager, you must be him. What's your name?

You're the manager, right? Uhm, yeah, hi.

What's your name? Uh, Boom, uh... Bada Boom.

[interviewer] How often did you actually had an orgasm?

On film? Are you asking me how often I had an orgasm on film? Is that a real question?

[interviewer] Versus faking.

That's my job, it's to have an orgasm, to maintain an erection, get the footage, and... have an orgasm, cum.

[interviewer] A lot of people, like Tera said she'd fake it.

Well, women can fake it. I mean, most women in the business probably aren't cumming.

I mean that's... But they don't have to, guys have to. We're doing real work.

I mean, It's hard to believe having an orgasm on camera is work, but there's some physical, uh strain to it.

But no, guys don't, guys don't like... I mean yeah:

"Herschel, We need you to fuck three girls today, but please don't cum. Okay, no problem."

I don't care how you do it, but you have got to make this girl cum, and when she does, I want you to have this beaker ready and catch every single drop.

[interviewer] And to reiterate nobody ever told you to hold your orgasm for a couple of days to make it more prodigious?

Ah... no.

[laughs] No one ever asks me to hold off on cumming for a couple of days so I could have a prodigious ejaculate. No, no one ever did that.

They assume that you... All men in the business have these amazing powers and abilities, but no we don't. No, no one ever asks that.

I have never had a sexual relationship with any of the White House interns.

[Herschel] I played Bill Clinton in a scene with Monica Lewinsky.

Monica was played by Asha, the beautiful Asha.

And I must say, I mean I got a blowjob under the desk while I'm being interviewed on camera as Bill Clinton, and she was... She just didn't stop.

When they cut the camera she kept blowing me.

She was the best. It's amazing blowjob, so great.

Just send me the dry cleaning charge, honey.

What am I doing? Straight? [interviwer] Uh, well you know, freeway.

West? Ah, you're gonna go East. We're gonna go back towards the house.

Alright. I'm having a good time. I just want to let you know you're doing a good job.

I do. I hope you're enjoying the... Are you having a good time?

[Herschel] I think, generally speaking, my scenes are hot, because of the connection I have with the women.

It's hot. It's hot stuff, man. I think, anyway.

I'd really like to finish those planter boxes tomorrow.

I was never really kinky. I was more of a romantic.

I mean, I just loved kissing and... For me, it was like a romantic adventure.

I mean, you had to still make it hot, but for the most part those are private intense connections with that woman.

So, when I... When I watch a scene that I'm in, I'm reliving that moment with that woman

'cause that was so significant to me, and so strong!

Stay a while. Talk. Honey, if I stay, we won't be talking.

It wasn't even performing, It wasn't performing for me, it was like, I was, I was, I was with... I was with somebody.

It was like, it was like a universal snuggle, man.

It was great. I'm with you, you know. It's fucking great.

You know you really beautiful? I mean really attractive.

I quit the first time in '87. Came back in '97.

And, and the difference between women from the '80s to the '90s, was unbelievable.

It was like model quality young women, I mean, you know. I mean, it was just like...

I was selling videotape during my retirement period realizing I'm never gonna have sex with this woman, you know.

Who're they gonna jump... Nice ass.

Great eye stuff. You still got it. I do.

You look really great. Thank you.

Light shining behind your head. You look like, like an angel.

As we can see in the normal entertainment industry.

How at risk women are to p... men especially who use their power to take advantage of them.

Every woman is hit on whether they're in the adult industry, or not.

Then certainly, it's going to be more likely if they're encountering many of the pigs to populate this industry. "Oh, you wanna work?" You know it's like:

"Give me a blow..." I mean, it's like, I'm gonna be blowing somebody, anyway, and you're gonna be doing this, anyway. I just want to see how you all are, you know. It's bullshit.

Everyone becomes objectified. And you don't see a woman as a person and that's a sickness. When you're only dealing with the sex and the need of that. It's... You're an empty vessel.

So, massage parlors scene. And I come in and I play the role of a guy who's coming in for a massage. She just pulling...

We don't actually have intercourse.

She gives me a shower, masturbates me and blows me.

One of my... one of the hottest scenes ever... I masturbate to that scene.

I'm sorry, I have to have some kind of life.

Anyway, that's a hot scene. Check that one out.

As I spoke of earlier, this is the scene I just love to watch called soapy massage. And I am the shy massage parlor customer coming for a normal everyday massage. But She is starting to grip my thigh.

And she's just, I mean... Can you see this?

I'm reacting in horror. "Oh, my God, what are you doing?

Oh, no, I shouldn't be doing this.

I'm just here to have my muscles workout." My shirt's off, I shouldn't be shocked anymore. What I should be shocked is that I wasn't going to the gym for three years, that's what I should be shocked about.

But here we go. You know, I kind of feel embarrassed being with you people and doing an interview, and now my cock is coming out.

You know, so it's almost like, you know... It's like forcing your close friend Bob, to watch your dick getting sucked. It's weird. Kind of weird.

People have been against me from day one. Do you, do you see me?

Here I stand, go ahead. Try it, I dare you. That's the thing that this industry has taught me. I have balls. Let me tell you.

And I'm very proud of my big balls. Because you know what, I know who I am.

To be in adult entertainment doesn't have to be a stigma.

It doesn't have to be a dark seedy evil place. I'm very proud of myself.

I'm honest about what I do. Who I am and how it is when you're with me.

Hopefully, you want to come along for the ride.

And If not, then there's another bus or train or something down the way you can hop on, but hopping on me is always fun.

[Jenteal] I wanted to build a Jenteal-pyre.

[moaning and panting in the background]

I wanted to build an empire of my own.

My goal was to have a million dollars in the bank free and clear by the time I hit 30.

[interviewer] All right. Can I, first of all, I want to know, what makes you do videos? How come you're here?

My boyfriend and I were very interested in watching porn.

I was very interested in girls.

I had a huge crush on Janine. She was one of the girls that we always looked for when we went to the adult bookstore. You know, it's always kind of in the back of my mind what would that be like.

It's easy. You just do what you feel.

Never did I think that would come to fruition.

Look what the cat dragged it.

There was an ad in one of the Berkeley school papers that was looking for nude models. I'd seen the ad for months and months on end. And then when I turned 18, my boyfriend was like, "You need to call that ad." I wanted to explore that more.

And he really wanted me to explore that more.

So the ad was run by a man named Zen Burrows, who became my agent.

Uh, he had a small little production company called Wildfire Productions.

And uhm, a star was born.

[Interviewer] Are you an exhibitionist? Like to be watched?

I think that being watched can be a turn on at one point.

You're being watched now. [laughter]

We'll be watched by several people. Several thousand.

I only worked with girls in the beginning because I didn't wanna work with guys.

Like I only wanted to work with girls. I was really curious about it.

Oh, yes. [moans]

Good Girl.

So I mean it had only been six months, nine months maybe.

Uhm, I'd worked with all of the girls I ever wanted to work with.

And Vivid had always told me when I was on their set, uh, that if you ever want to work with men, we will sign you to a contract.

So, I wanted more money.

300 dollars?

And I knew that I could get a lot more money working with guys.

[music]

[Jenteal] I mean being a Vivid girl, was a huge accolade.

I felt really special that they wanted to sign me.

And they reassured me that I'd have control over who I worked with and that I could insist on condoms.

And When I signed with Vivid, my first boy-girl scene was in Dangerous Games with Alex Sanders. He was my first guy.

I don't like that kind of talk. I don't like it at all

Can you believe these lines.

[Jenteal] Vivid was definitely the company to work for. It was sought after by everybody in the business. And, they sort of, were the elite girls that felt like... you know, it was all of the classics. It was Janine, Christie Canyon, myself, Nikki Tyler, Racquel Darrian. Everybody wanted to be a Vivid girl.

To be successful as in any business in any industry you have to be unique and do something different. Market yourself in a different way.

Steve Hirsch was really big on advertising in a mainstream way.

And for a time, he had us all 17 feet tall on Sunset Boulevard right above Tower Records.

And that was huge. You know, no other adult company had done anything like that before.

Vivid did so many different things in their movies, you know, with costumes and with locations that I had a bunch of really unique experiences.

I know you don't know this yet, but... it's a very big world out there.

Over my 21st birthday, we were in Hawaii shooting for Vivid and for Playboy.

And those two movies that I did in Hawaii were awesome.

Hi, I'm Eve. The locations were just superb. I felt really pretty.

My boyfriend was really perfectly okay with the industry.

He was perfectly okay with me working with guys in movies.

I got into the business with my boyfriend. And we got married about five years later.

And then six months later, when I got pregnant, I stopped.

Everything, I stopped, nude modeling, dancing.

I'd pretty much been done with films already. Uhm, but for me, that was it.

[electronic music]

I definitely knew I didn't wanna be a part of the industry and be pregnant or raising two children.

I was born, I felt, to be a mother first and foremost and my accomplishments in the industry and with my business were just secondary, but for me, being a mother was it and I didn't want to have to juggle the two.

I honestly after doing so much in the business and being made up so glamorously for so many years and all the travel and everything. I just really wanted to be a basic bitch.

I wanted a flat salary, I wanted to know my hours and... and that was it.

So, when I was at Trader Joe's, I hurt my back really bad lifting some milk crates and had to have two back surgeries, that was in 2009.

And I've had this injury since then despite the surgeries.

Thank you all for coming. Uh, I really just wanted an opportunity to, uhm, open up the discussion about the oil and share my experience and see if you have any questions.

Not that long ago a girlfriend posted something on her Facebook page regarding CVD oil.

And I'd heard that it helps people you know, with, with... heal cancer. I've heard that it helps with, with a lot of other illnesses and ailments. And so I was really curious.

I just knew that with my back injury, you know, this was something that was really going to help me. And I was very, very interested in where the business is going, so I got involved.

I don't really feel like my past ever was... it never brought any tumultuousness to my life.

There're certain people that certainly don't agree with it and have opinions.

Uh, their opinions are their business and they've never really been imposed on me.

So I felt like I got away pretty unscathed in that regard, actually.

Just having been a fan of porn, I would definitely say that the porn shot in the '90s was far superior than, uh, than what is shot today.

And I definitely think just from a fan's perspective that the porn then was, was... That was a golden era.

That little honey pot of my life in my early 20s, was really, uh... They had a lot packed into it, though. There was a lot that I experienced, I mean, a ton. I probably lived more life in those five years than most 50 years old have their entire life.

The juice was worth the squeeze, and I wrung that fucker dry, dude.

[Jenteal] I feel like people frequently think that I'm just a sex object, and I'm not, I'm a person.

And I've literally had guys that... I was just hanging out and they just took their dick out expecting me to do something with it.

We need to stop shaming people for being in porn. There is no reason to shame people for being in porn. It's a legitimate business. It's a real business.

It's a billion dollar business. [Romi] Everybody always says:

"You're in porn, you're an adult entertainer, people are never gonna forget it.

They're gonna remember this forever.

You are a porn star for life."

And I always thought: "Well, use that and if you're going to be in adult entertainment anyway, try to be the best version of yourself you can be. Try to be as successful as possible. So then When you look back on your career, you're not looking back on it with regrets."

Take a breath in, bring your ears in line with your shoulders so your neck is in line with your spine. That's it. Draw your shoulders back.

[Romi] So, I went to this person's house and I had one drink and after that one drink, I remember nothing, and woke up the next morning to my IDs and a consent form on the nightstand. And that was when I shot my first film.

[piano music]

[Bonnie] Every time you exhale, watch what you can let go of more.

Physical, mental, the exhalation is a process of letting go.

[thunderstorm]

My mother, ah, she didn't raise me, she left me when I was probably two months old. And we haven't really had a relationship since then and my father was in prison my entire life.

My grandparents raised me from four until I was you know, 16 years old.

I grew up with my grandfather. My grandfather and grandmother actually separated, they're my mother's parents.

So my grandfather raised me. I grew up at the horse track with him, I grew up just in the country.

When I was 13, I lost my virginity to a boyfriend and we were in school.

He was... I was in eighth grade, he was in seventh grade.

And my best friend went to church and told all of my family that I lost my virginity. And then the next day, I went to school to beat up my best friend for, you know, that issue and was then removed from school and kicked out of school. And that was what perpetuated me leaving school in eighth grade.

And once that all had happened where I lost my virginity and moved out from my grandmother's back into my grandfather's, I started tattooing myself. This is a 13-hour tattoo, I got it when I was 15.

My back, I kinda wanted to do like a freak show thing because it's... you know, we're all freaks Sinatra's everywhere and I have to carry him with me everywhere.

I did this [indistinct] and I named her Bonnie Rotten.

And I ended up being me.

Very quickly, I was very heavily tattooed by the time I was about 17.

I started doing car shows, horror shows, different expos in the Midwest. And that kind of like started my modeling career and I invented Bonnie Rotten.

I'm 21 years old, I don't need my mommy and daddy worrying about me. Thanks.

You know what? I think you're involved in some bad stuff.

Bad stuff like what? [screaming]

Fuck. You're a fucking cunt.

The genre of horror for me was so important. It was almost like a fantasy, even though it was horror kind of like crazy and scary, it still was that fantasy world for me that I could really enjoy, just like people do with porn.

[rock and roll music]

[thunderstorm]

My first visit to California happened because I was working on Horror Expo.

And they had a pageant for a magazine and I competed in the pageant.

And I won the pageant. So the prize was like to fly off to California and shoot this layout for a magazine.

So I did it and came out here, shot the magazine and kind of met some connections in the porn industry. So, I'd actually met someone that was on a podcast at the friend's that I was staying at while I was in town.

So I went to this person's house and I had one drink. And after that one drink, I remember nothing.

[Bonnie] And that was when I shot my first film.

You look at him, he has the devil in his soul.

I don't think that about most people.

Scary, very scary. But, he was the only person that I encountered in the business that was like that. After that, I had the best experiences that I could possibly have.

So when I came into the industry, I was told by the bigger companies, like:

"We can't shoot you. You have too many tattoos. We don't know what to do with you."

So, I was introduced to someone at a company called New Sensations.

And because of them, they opened the gate for tattooed girls to be accepted into mainstream porn companies.

I was accepted with that movie, Meet Bonnie.

Hi, my name is Bonnie Rotten. I'm 19. I just turned 19 three weeks ago.

It was nominated for a bunch of awards the first year I was in in the business.

I was nominated for Best New Starlet, like three months in.

[interviewer] How many awards are you nominated for tonight? Uh 14.

The winner is, Bonnie Rotten.

[people cheering]

[Bonnie] And then after that, that was it. Everybody shot me, everybody started hiring me. Everybody started putting me on box covers.

And then it kinda just took off from there.

Rambo. Colonel, I didn't expect to see you here.

Rambo, I need you to abort this mission immediately, soldier.

[Bonnie] So, I was shooting 10 to 15 times a month, featuring 1-2... 1-3 weekends a month.

[announcer] Internationally famous, Bonnie Rotten, in the building.

I got to experience a lot.

[reporter] Bonnie, how you doing? I'm awesome. How are you?

We're doing great. This is hard, I don't know where to put my eyes.

Right here.

[people cheering]

One of my most favorite parts of my career, was when I got to travel to Switzerland and Germany. And I did like basically a world tour.

I can't go to sleep because I'm excited. And I just want to see everything.

And I want to go eat and I want to eat all the food, and I want to try everything. I want to do everything.

Where I started in South Africa and did something called SexPo in Johannesburg.

Went from there to Switzerland to shoot a movie called Roller Girl.

And Went to Hungary to shoot with Rocco Siffredi.

And we did Bonnie VS Rocco, which was insane.

And it was the best time of my life. I got a couple of tattoos, the Berlin bear, and the Swiss flag and the bull from Barcelona.

I really wanted to make porn art. You know, 'cause I was shooting so much, and I was always involved in these things. And I was like:

"These guys, like they bring us in their, you know their apartment or whatever.

And they have a shoot on their couch, in these mansions.

But these could be so cool."

Like I have all these ideas. Fuck it, I'm going to do it.

I put together Anal Candy Disco Chicks.

Anal Candy Disco Chicks, Can you get a picture?

Afros, buckets of gumballs, it was insane.

And then after that, I directed Cape Fear. And I also starred in it as Robert De Niro.

[The people call Samantha (indistinct]. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? God help you all soul.

While using my friend's boat in Marina del Rey, and trying to make sure that none of the mahogany and nothing was like messed up by the crew. It was intense.

I made zero money. I lost money, but it was fun.

[gunshot] [scream]

Yeah, and I learned, OK, this is crazy and this is fun.

But you know, people kinda want simpler stuff, so, let's kind of dumb down production and give them what they want.

[rock and roll music]

The thing about the industry, is you're 18 years old and you're making 30-40 grand a month. You don't know what to do with that money at 18 years old. It's insane.

So, that money is very short lived and you're not taught what to do with it.

But luckily, I did start a sex toy company that I owned myself.

One of the coolest things was these action figures and they fashioned an action figure from every inch of your body. It is completely insane.

Every detail, every tattoo, every curl in my hair showed up on this little doll.

And we started selling them online and they were doing really great.

And people had like little Bonnie figurines, and they could have big ones.

When I left the industry, I'd actually met my second husband who I had my daughter with.

You know, I was kind of looking for an out.

Because I won Performer of the Year the year before.

I had to outperform myself, because if you know anything about my films, like always did the craziest stuff, and there was really nothing more than I could do that was any crazier than what I was doing without it being a circus act or me not enjoying it.

I like to carry myself a certain way, because I know that as soon as I walk into a room I'm looked at a certain way. Even with the moms at school, like I don't like for them to get to know me too much because I don't like to lie about my past or who I was.

And I don't want to compromise my daughter's life for her safety or her well-being with her friends at school because of my past and what the parents think of me.

I want for her to have the easiest, safest, structured life that she can possibly have.

There has been some talk about like me returning to the industry, but because of my daughter, I don't think that I would.

Just because I want to be able to say that I walked away when I had her and didn't have to return. [yoga teacher] Exhale, cobra.

Low down, inhale, cobra. [Bonnie] I'm very sensitive when it comes to emotions and things like that, because of the things that have happened to me, abandonment, those things.

I'm... I really don't want her to ever feel that way.

So, I'm just very hands-on with her and very attentive and she's my role.

I was a very extreme, you know, tattooed hardcore girl when I performed.

But In my life, I'm a very sweet, loving, generous person and most people wouldn't think that about me at all. Just by looking at me.

Don't ever judge a book by its cover. You never know who that person may be on the inside and you never know where that person may take you.

[instrumental music]

[Luc] You need to realize that what goes on in the adult industry, is created for your entertainment. It's not reality.

[model] Oh, help me out. Don't go in. Like, yeah.

[Luc] Reality is bumping up against people. It's having sex.

It's feeling that moment of connection between two people.

Right.

The digital world can be very, very isolating and dividing if we allow it to be.

[Alex] Yeah, what's the solution though? It's like we just need to make better choices. Let's choose to kiss and hug instead of...

[giggles]

Well, and turn it off.

Or turn it on. It should be turned off and on.

On. [both laughing]

[rock music]