Agent Toby Barks (2020) Script

Kick out the fires, campers, it's time to turn it in.

Let's go to bed, come on, let's go.

Okay. All right.

Bedtime. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Bret, turn off the TV. After this game.

You gotta get some sleep, buddy.

If you pass your driver's test tomorrow, then you can drive a real car. Wouldn't that be somethin'?

This is kinda like practice, Dad.

Oh, well, this wouldn't be confusing or distracting.

Come on, Dad.

Is this a problem for you? Dad.

I'm so sorry. You're gonna make me crash!

I'm a pedestrian! I'm a pedestrian, look out!

Don't hit the pedestrians! Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

Go to bed.

Love you.

Toby, shut the TV.

All right, pal, it's just you and me, so you know what that means. Snack time.

One for me.

And one for you.

Mm, I got my snack, buddy.

Here's yours.

Good catch.

Activate tactical vest.

Agent Toby Barks, do you read me?

Agent Toby Barks, come back.

Hold your horses, lady.

I mean, reporting for duty, ma'am.

That's more like it.

How's that Bark Link working? I've made some modifications.

Seems to be working great. I feel like I could ♪ sing! ♪ Great, hold that song for later.

We have business to tend to.

Oh, fine, I'm all ears.

Agent Prescott will brief you at the mobile command unit.

Roger. Gear up, and meet at the extraction point.

Better get my tail movin'.

It's go time. Yeah.

Agent Barks, welcome to the party.

Let's go.

Don't have to tell me twice.

All systems online.

Looks like the team's all here.

Agent Prescott, let's go.

Meet Horrace the Horrible.

He's big, he's nasty, and he loves money.

He runs an evil faction out of an old nightclub on the edge of town.

He's hired rogue hackers to spread a virus within the American banking system.

His ultimate plan is to shut down Wall Street, creating an economic downswing worse than the Great Depression.

He always rolls with a pack of very mean, very dedicated bodyguards.

He is considered to be extremely dangerous.

This man must be stopped.

That's where Toby here comes in.

The Horrible Compound is known for its tight security.

Agent Barks can infiltrate the building and shut down the security system, allowing agents in through the undefended flanks east and west of the main building.

You be careful in there, Agent Barks. Copy that.

Have no fear, buddy.

We're watching your every move.

I got this, no problem, Jack.

Toby, you've got company.

Copy that. I can smell 'em.

Activate stink canister.

It stinks!

Threat neutralized.

Stinky job, but somebody's gotta do it.

West wall is clear, repeat, all clear on the west wall.

Nice work. Move in.

Ray Ray, remember that vault job in Rhode Island?

That's peanuts to this!

We're gettin' paid, boys. Yeah!

Third door on the left.

That's the security hub, but be careful.

You need to get by the main "foryer."

It's foyer.

That place is crawlin' with guards.

Double D. A crawling joke?

This is the big job!

Soon, we will destroy Wall Street.

Whoo, let's go!

The markets will crash!


That's it, Toby, that's the main hub.

You're doing fantastic.

Now plant that virus, and let's go home.

The country will crumble!

It's time that we take over!


Okay, let's see here.

Come on, come on Toby, look out.

Two bogies headin' your way and fast.

Repeat, two bogies!


Come on, come on, come on.


Look at this little guy! Oh, somebody wants a belly rub!

This must be Horrace's new dog.

Hey, he kinda looks like him. Yeah, he does.

Don't tell him I said that. Mm, no, I won't.

Oh, boy, yeah.

Better get goin'.


Works every time.

Those typing classes came in handy.

What is this?

I don't know.

No. It's not responding!

It's not.

Sound the alarms!

They're coming for us.

Here's a little goin' away present, fellas.

He did it. All their systems are down.


Get Agent Barks out of there, and send in the cavalry.

Toby, the back window to the rear courtyard is open and clear.


All right.


All right!

Mission accomplished, baby!

Yeah. Proud to know you, Agent Barks.

Couldn't have done it without you.

You gotta love it. One more bad guy off the Most Wanted list, one more dangerous raid with nobody hurt on either side.

He's a fine agent, sir.

Figured nothin' like a smoke show to add a little excitement to the dance floor.

Hey, Toby.

I figured I'd throw you a bone.

This guy gets it.

Hawk, you're the man.

Thank you, but I gotta take that bone to go.

Need to get back before my people wake up and notice I'm gone.

Of course. Later, Toby.

Agents, we were all just in the presence of greatness.

We could all learn a lot from that dog.

That dog is one of a kind.

Wouldn't the world be a happier place if there were a million others just like him?

Uh, yes, sir, Mr. Albright.

Yes, sir, I'll have that report in by the end of the day today, sir.

Yes, sir, no problem.

Uh, no.

No, no, fishing trip? No, sir, I haven't heard anything about that yet.

This is the first thing I've heard.

No... yes, sir, yes, of course, yeah.

Absolutely, I can make that happen.

Yes, sir. Okay, I'll see you at the office then, sir.

Thank you so much. Great.

Oh, boy. How am I gonna make this happen?

Kids, let's go, come on! Let's move, move, move!

Let's go, let's go, let's go! We're gonna be late.

Morning, Daddy. Good morning, sweetheart.

Wow, look at... That is a very, very festive outfit.

Thanks, I like all the colors.

What's for breakfast? Breakfast, um...

♪ Doughnuts! ♪ I got doughnuts.

Doughnuts are for breakfast. Doughnuts are for breakfast, sweetheart!

Oh, wow, doughnuts? Look at that!

Ah, sick! I know, right?

Oh, hey, I hear today's a big day.

Yep, my boy's gonna ace his driver's test.

Yeah, can't wait. Just me, the open road, Dad's beat up old Honda with the busted air conditioner.

Gonna be great. That's a great car.

You should be very lucky to have that car.

You're welcome. Kate, the bus is here.

Coming, Bretty. Bye, Dad, bye, Dave.

Bye, sweetheart, I love you... okay.

Hey, thank you for comin' through with those doughnuts. Big win.

Yeah, I mean, I know it hasn't been easy without Diane.

Can you believe it's been a year already?

It's not getting easier, you're right.

Well, if we get this promotion, you'll have less work, more money, more time to spend with the kids.

That's a good point. And then I get to have your job.

Uh, yeah, no, I don't think so.

You're jumpin' the gun there a little bit, big guy.

Well, rumor has it that Albright is ready to promote the both of us.

We just need to seal the deal on this fishing trip.

Oh, the fishing trip. It's great, right?

No, it's terrible. It's a scheduling nightmare for me.

I gotta find someone to watch the kids.

Ted, you're doing this for those kids.

It's for their future. You're fishing for their future.

I guess I could call my sister.

Oh! Oh, of course, yes, yes!

Whatever you need, I'm there!

Okay, okay. I-I'll...

I'll get my stuff, and I will stop by after work.

This is such a great surprise. I can't wait to see everyone!

Hello. Oh.

Hungry? Oh, no, thank you.

Oh, come on! Look, it's juicy, take a bite.

I don't doubt that they are, but I really don't... okay.

So, what are you workin' on, huh?

Oh, well, I was just making some modifications to the B Link.

Oh, you mean the world's greatest invention?

You're a genius. Thanks.


So, that's so top secret, I've always wondered, how do we deal with the plans for that sort of thing?

Where-where do we keep those plans?

Well, they're filed away. Why do you wanna know?

Shop talk. Inside baseball. Chit-chat.

You don't have clearance, so there's really no point in my telling you.

I could get clearance.

Brr, got cold in here.

Oh, nice talk.

All the key ingredients for an epic weekend with Auntie B.

Well, I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon, huh?

Really nice of you to help out.

Well, it's a great opportunity for me to catch up with the niece and nephew before I blink and they're off to college.

But there is one thing I wanna make very clear.

The kids cannot know about what we do.

If they were to ever find out, we'd be putting them in incredible danger.

Agreed. Okay, good.

Now, do you mind?

I have to go to the bathroom.


How was your driver's test?

Um, it was great. I aced it, yeah.

Can we go for a ride? Um, maybe tomorrow.


Hi, Auntie B! I have missed you so much!

Auntie B! Oh!

Oh, Bret, you are now taller than me! How did that happen?


Missed you too, Auntie B.

Yeah, we did. Hey, today's not a holiday.

No, I don't think so. What do you mean?

Well, usually you only come on holidays.

Oh. Dad's home.

Ha! Dad, Auntie B's here!

Ah, yeah, I know. Hey, you!

Hi! Hi, sweetheart, my little sis.

Good to see you, sis. She's here because she's gonna stay the weekend.

Daddy has to go schmooze his boss on a fishing trip.

Daddy, what does schmooze mean?

It's like being extra nice to somebody so they'll be nice to you in the long run.

Oh, so kinda like kissing up to your teacher but for grownups?

Yes, that's exactly what it's like, Miss Smartypants. Geez.

Hey. How'd the test go?

Um, it was good, I nailed it.

I have a ton of homework and a book report. I am so far behind.

You know, actually, I should get on it right now.

Well, that's a first.

Anybody hungry?

Come here you. You I gotta feed, I know I have to feed you.

I guess this is the closest I'm gonna get to a car this summer.

I could've swore I passed it.

Come in.

I'm not mad.

But I was doing the laundry and I found this.

Well, now you know.

Why'd you lie?

I didn't wanna let you down.


Making a mistake is not letting me down.

Lying to me is.

All right?

Lying is like driving a car in reverse.

Okay? I don't care how good you are at it, you're still going backwards.

I was just embarrassed.

Why? So what?

I failed my first driving test.

Really? Miserably.

Like, not even close.

What do I tell the other kids?

Forget them. Your real friends won't care.

I guess bad driving runs in the family.

Yeah, we don't have to tell anybody else though, okay?

That's our secret.

You okay? Yeah.

All right.

If you fail the next one, I'm gonna kill you.

Gummy worms before bed?

I like your style, kid, but I'm not so sure I can allow that.

They're not for me, they're for you, silly.


Yes, you can use them as bait on your fishing trip.

Oh, sweetheart, I appreciate that, but I don't think the fishies like candy as much as we do.

No, look, they do.

Fish are known to be attracted to the bright colors of the gummy worms.

Look at that! Yeah, and it even says if you keep your line just above the water, it can catch the light.

I guess it makes them all shiny.

Well, you are my little Einstein.

Thank you very much.

Hey, you better hit the road if you're gonna get to the lake by daybreak.

All right, all right.

Listen, you have fun with your Auntie B, okay?

Sweet dreams and jellybeans. And gummy worms.

And gummy worms.

Toby... here, buddy.

I got a little something for you.

Listen, I know my sister's here this weekend, but you and I know who's really in charge, okay?

It's you. Thanks, buddy.

He understands every word I say. Yeah, go have some fun.

I have everything under control here.

Don't even think about it, Toby.

What smells so good? Oh!

Whoa! Order up!

I wish we could have breakfast like this every day.

There's the genius! Workin' on your day off?

Oh, Agent Lane! Everything okay?

Oh, great, great, great, couldn't be better.

Brought you some coffee. Cream, no sugar.

Just the way you like it. Oh, thanks.


So how'd you know to track me down here?

I'm a federal agent, it's what we do.

I guess... guess that's true.

Actually, I wanted a little time just me and you away from the office.


Go on... It's about the B Link.

The ability to translate barking into words.

I mean, who knew that "woof woof" meant, "How you doin', Charlie?"

Ha. You made it possible for man's best friend to actually be man's best friend.

Well, the frequencies were always there.

It was just a matter of deciphering... No, you!

You made them talk.

I didn't make them talk, Agent Lane.

Dogs have been talking since the beginning of time.

I just found a way for us to listen to them.

Well, listen to this... What's this about?

What if I told you that I could put $20 million in your pocket today and offer you a partnership in my new enterprise, Lane Technologies?

Which will be worth billions for all of us very soon, I assure you.

All you would have to do...

Leave out the plans for the B Link, accidentally, casually, so I could take a few quick snaps of them, huh?

Okay, okay. Uh-huh, yeah?

That's a good joke.

No, no, no, this is anything but a joke.

I have an associate at the largest overseas tech company who is willing to pay a fortune for those plans.

You really aren't joking, are you?

You don't realize what you have here!

You have invented the most important device of the history of mankind and animalkind.

I mean, every little boy is gonna wanna come home and hear about the dog's day.

Every little girl will be able to say, "Fluffy, how you feeling?"

"I ate a paperclip."

Or you could be on vacation and call home, and Bowser can say, "I chased a burglar away."

The possibilities are endless for this invention and the marketing, the social media, the interactive games...

We've got a goldmine!

But I didn't invent the B Link to cash in.

I invented it to help people.

Well, it could still help people, only in a different way.

Not a chance. Well, I don't think you understand...

You know, why don't we pretend that this is all a big joke and act like it never happened, hm?

Otherwise, I'm gonna report you so fast that your tie will spin right off your shirt collar.

Ouch. So that's the way you wanna play it?

Oh, that's exactly how I wanna play it.

Okay, so it's all a big joke.

Yeah, you owe me $5 for the coffee.


Big joke.

Enjoy your day, partner.

All righty, we score big with the boss this weekend, we earn ourselves the Empress account along with a couple of promotions.

Yeah, well, you're in luck, buddy, 'cause I can fish like a grizzly bear.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Mm-hmm. Oh, here he comes.

Shall we do battle with Neptune, boys, hm?

Test our mettle against man's oldest adversary?

Huh? I think he wants to know if we're ready to fish. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Bait me up, Teddy. Yes, sir.

I'm glad you boys could make it.

You know there's a legendary fish in this lake?

And I'm gonna catch it.

The bad guys are getting smarter every day, so we've gotta keep one step ahead of them.

Are you ready? Born ready, baby.

Okay. This looks like a regular tennis ball, right?


All right, take a good chew.

Yeah, one good bite and it's lights out for 30 seconds.

It cuts the power and stops any signal of any kind.

Snap into that bad boy, and everything within a 100-foot radius goes back to the Stone Age.

Wow, that would come in handy when it's time to make a quick getaway.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'll take it.

Hey, what's in here?

Oh, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Um, this? This is the Crossbone, and it is, perhaps, my finest invention, but it is not ready yet, so paws off, please.

All right, all right. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I give you the cam collar.

Hey, you're on TV. Mm-hmm.

We see everything you see.


It's incredible, you really outdid yourself.

Oh, you know.

Eh? Look at that.

That was a nice cast.

Oh, hi!

There's my favorite kids in the galaxy.


Auntie B, are you okay? I'll call for help.

No, no, no, no, I'm fine. Just a little slip.

Good, you scared me.

Yeah, that was a pretty hard fall.

That was nothin'.

Whatcha workin' on there?

I am glad that you asked.

I know that your dad needs a little help around the house, and after you enjoyed breakfast so much, I said to myself, "How can I ensure that my favorite kids in the galaxy have the most important meal of the day every day?"

And so I whipped up... the Diner Drone! ♪ Diner Drone ♪ The Diner Drone. I like the name.

It is easy to use, so check it out.

You see our funnels here, yes?

So you just put in basic breakfast ingredients, like syrup...

Or flour... your sugar, and I know you like that.

And just a little bit of bacon, just a little.

Can I try one? Crack away.

All right, now we get to customize our settings.

So scrambled. Scrambled, right? All right.

Okay, and you might want to step aside a little bit.

I've never really tested this thing out.

And if it smokes, that's normal, so...

Now basically, your standard ordinary breakfast takes approximately nine minutes to create from start to finish, but the Diner Drone accomplishes the whole thing in 18 seconds.

Don't ask me how I do it, it's top secret.


And just because it's a shame to waste food, this is an after-school snack. Thanks!

Can you believe we get to eat breakfast like this every day?

How did you do this in just a few hours?

That's also top secret.

What's the matter with these fish?

I got good bait. Are they too good for my bait?

They're just not bitin', sir.

Thanks, master of the obvious.

You know, I brought you two out here to see if you were lucky.

Lucky, sir?

I always say it's better to be lucky than good.

In business, it takes a lot of luck to become successful, and there's no better judge of a man's luck than by how the fish bite.

I see.

Well, then, I say we change our luck, sir.

I don't follow. Well, we've been fishing this exact same spot all day without so much as a nibble.

I say we go fish that little point right there underneath those trees?

I'll bet you that big, glorious fish is just sittin' under there in the shade waiting for us to come over there tomorrow, catch him, and put him inside your cooler.

I like your moxie, Theodore.

All right.

Tomorrow morning, we hit that spot at dawn.

Now let's make camp before it gets too dark.

Yes, sir.

Auntie B, why are we at an old, empty grocery store?

Well, it's not the old, empty grocery store I'm after.

It is the old, empty parking lot.

Hop out of the car, Bret. Huh?

Hop out of the car, switch places with me, mm?

What is she doing?

You are about to enroll in the Auntie B Driving Academy.


So... ahem.

The key to operating a motor vehicle is simple but very crucial.

It's all about sight lines, my young friend.

You are aware of everything in your environment at all times, including the ignition. Start the car.



Lane? Hi.

What are you doing here?

Oh, nothing of any interest whatsoever.

I... you know, I was just tryin' to catch up, and, you know, get ahead of the game.

Heh. You know, success favors the diligent.

That's what I say.

Yeah? Oh, well, we're both very wise.

So what are you doing here?

Same, just... work. Oh, well.

Good for you. Work to do.

Good for you. A busy agent is a great agent.

So, let's get back to it, shall we?

All right. All right.

Later. All right. Yes, much later.

Good night, Agent Prescott. Good night, Lane.

Yes, good night.

Where was I?

Baddies, bullies, charming sociopaths, cheaters, crackpots, creeps, crooks, deranged psychopaths...

Ah-ha! Dangerous maniacs... and there he is.

Sunny Wolf.

Takes a big bad wolf to catch a chatty little dog.

100! 101! 102!

Keep going! You got this, yeah!

It's for you.

Wolf here.

Hello there, Mr. Wolf.

This is Benedict N. Lane from Lane Technologies, and I have a rather lucrative offer for you, sir, for a man of your specific skill set and expertise.

I'm listening.

Oh, you're interested.

What, you're throwing sharks at me?

That makes no sense. Makes no sense. Come on, come on.

Move it or lose it, lady. Oh, ho, ho! Oh, yeah!

Who taught you how to drive, huh?

Just my awesomely wacky aunt.

Whoa! Hmm!

No, no, no, no, no! Come on.

Oh. Yes!

Hey, come on!

Well, your awesomely wacky aunt is quickly becoming your awesomely old aunt.

I'm ready for bed.

Oh, wow, look at this! Check out the masterpiece.

That is really something.

I'm getting sleepy too, Auntie B.

Why don't we call it a night, and you go get ready, and I'll tuck you in? Okay.

I'm gonna head up, too. Hmm.

Thanks again for the driving lesson.

You'll be on the road in no time.

We'll try to get another lesson in tomorrow.

Awesome. Night, Auntie B.

Goodnight, Toby.

Come on.


I'll grab the pooch, you get the old lady.

Got it.

Get off, you stupid mangy dog!

Bretty, I heard a noise. So did I.

Maybe Auntie B's just getting a snack.

That doesn't sound like a snack.

You stupid!

Toby! Wait. It might not be safe out there.

Grab his things to keep him quiet.

You, you don't have to do this.

Stay. Let's go.

Come on, lady. Get in the van, lady.

Someone's got Auntie B! Call 911!

Will you shut that dog up? Yeah, yeah.

Here, do you want the ball?

Do you want the ball?

The phone won't work. What?

It won't even turn on.

Someone must've cut the phone line.

They're gonna get away!

Not if I can help it. Stay here.

I'm coming with you.

What was that? I don't know!

It won't start.

It won't start!

Well, did you try turning the key?

Ah-ah-ah, don't make me snap it.

Work, work, work.

Whoo! Back in business.

What about the dog? Forget about the dog.

Let's get out of here before the cops come.

Yeah, go!

They're all gone.

Toby? Toby!

Where is he going?

Hold up.

Be careful, there may be aliens.

I don't think it's aliens. Let's stay close.

This is Agent Toby Barks requesting Agent Laura Prescott.

Security clearance 1-1-5-6-2-4-5.

Repeat, Agent Barks for Agent Prescott, security clearance 1-1-5-6-2-4-5.

Do you copy?

This is Agent Barks, do you copy?

Does anybody read me? Hello?

Code red, can you read me?

This is not a drill.

Repeat, this is not a drill.

This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Anybody? Anybody at all?

Can anyone hear me? Answer.

Uh, hi, guys.

This can't be real.

Toby? Uh, hi, guys.

Toby, are you talking?

No, I'm just... I... yes.

Auntie B gets snatched in the middle of the night, thrown in to a van, our dog is talking to us, and we're in the middle of some kind of, I don't know, secret base.

Is this a secret base? It's the Barkcave.

Right, the Barkcave, makes sense. I know what this is.

We're still sleeping. This is a dream, I'm dreaming.

I already pinched myself six times. This is real.

Kate's right, this is very real. Don't have time to explain it.

Well, excuse me for being a little weirded out that my dog is talkin' to me right now.

Look, I'm not just your dog.

I'm a highly trained government agent.

Your Auntie B and I work for a top secret organization.

You've gotta be kidding me! So you're like a 00-doggie?

Will you just listen? We're running out of time!

Auntie B invented some real game-changing gadgets and someone must be after her.

Who do you think it is? Well, only a few people know where to find Auntie B this weekend.

Sadly, they all work for the agency.

So, that means?

That means someone from the inside double-crossed us.

Computer, locate van make and model.

Can't be too many of those on the road in this area.

Computer, I need an engine sound match on a '96 Bounder.

Activate the doggie ear.

That's them? Bingo.

That's the access road near the school.

Shouldn't you call backup or something?

I need to handle this myself. I can't trust anyone yet.

You can trust us. I'm coming with you.

Me, too.

Oh, no, you're not.

We're Auntie B's family! We're not just gonna sit around while someone breaks into our house and takes her.

Absolutely not!

Your safety has been jeopardized enough as it is.

It's just too dangerous.

Well, if you don't let us come, we'll tell Daddy and everyone will know that you're a secret agent.

Ah, poop!

You're driving. What?

You heard me. I don't even have my license.

Well, my paws don't reach the pedals, and we're tails-deep in a government emergency here.

So I think we can make an exception.

I believe in you. You're the man for this mission.

Now, let's go before I lose the scent.

You can do this.

Be the road.

The road and you.


You got this, kid. Just focus on the yellow lines.

My dog is giving my brother driving tips.

Okay, what's it say, Kate?

Um, okay, take a left up ahead.

Left up ahead, got it.

Now, 100 feet, turn signals.

Come to a complete stop, check all directions for oncoming traffic.

Good, good. Okay.

Okay, slowly accelerate into the turn.

Okay, now what?

Um, take a right on Davison Ave. Take a right!

Okay, got it. What's next?

Um, that's where the signal ends.

No way they're still gonna be there.

Don't worry, I'll smell 'em the rest of the way.


Left! Go left! What?

Left! He said go left!

Straight! Straight.

I like that one, it's easy.

Oh, brother.

Oh, Bretty? I think they want you to pull over.

Yeah, it's the fuzz. Pull over.

Oh, man! Now I'm never gonna get my license.

I'll be banned for life!

Brett, relax! I'll do the talking.

Okay, everybody, keep cool.

Keep your cool. I got this.

License and registration, please.

Evening, officer. What seems to be the problem?

I'm sorry, was I speeding? I really didn't think so.

This is a 35, right?

We had reports of a van speeding through a minute ago.

Guess I got the wrong one.

Oh, I see. Well, have a nice night, officer.

Yeah, you guys take care.

Stay safe!

Wow, I gotta cut back on the overtime.

I cannot believe that worked.

Works every time, baby.

All right, let's get back on the scent.

Guys, it's Auntie B!

Bingo! Nice spot, Kate!

Okay, I need you two to stay in here.

Let me guess, it's too dangerous for kids?

No. Well, yes, but the truth is, I need you in here.

Everything I see will be transmitted on that tablet.

I may need you for some intel if I get in a jam, so be on the ready to haul out of here once I rescue Auntie B.

Got it.

It's go time.

Paws in the middle!


Auntie B!

No, no, no!

What do you mean... couldn't get the dog?

I could've hired a dog catcher for far less money and better results!

If I knew we had to nab some secret agent dog, I would've asked for more money.

Not some secret agent dog, a talking secret agent dog!

Well, since you got half your job done, I will offer you half of the money, and you're still security until this whole thing is over.

And if you have a problem with it...

I'll just call my friends and tell them all about you.

No problem.

"No problem." Good answer.

Will you stop squirming? Geez!

♪ Auntie B, Auntie B ♪

♪ Oh my favorite money tree ♪ Bazooka? Mm.

It's my favorite. Well, later.

I came to you, and I offered you a deal, and you gave me a flat no, not knowing that I'm the kind of guy you never say no to.

My mother used to call me "tenacious."

She called me "solipsistic," too. That was when I was six, and "Mr. Smartypants" when I was 27.

But I'll show you, Mommy! I'll show all of you.

You'll never get away with this, Lane!

Oh, won't I? Is that your expert opinion?

I think I already have!

Because no one knows you're here.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you Dr. Bonnie Barks!

We're old chums and collaborators... for huzzum huzzum years.

She's the new head of research and development at Lane Technologies, but you can call her...

Auntie B. Oh, yay!

You're all breaking the law!

This man is a traitor to the United States, and you're just as guilty as he is if you don't free me at once!

Oh, that's good, that's good, appeal to their consciences.

You don't know that they're paid so much they don't have any.

What do you want from me?

Don't you know with that brilliant bulb of a brain of yours?

I want that B Link! I want schematics, I want plans, I want data.

I wanna know how to make that dog talk!

Years of hard work and research just thrown away on consumerism?

It's a real shame.

Shame on you. My mommy used to say, "Self, self, self, why don't you think about me?"

Well, I'm not giving you anything, not one shred of information.

Well, then my associates are right here, and they are experts at extracting all the information I need.

How you doin', Auntie B?

What's that?

I don't know, but it's blue.

What does that mean?

Well, all the people have been red dots, and Toby's a blue dot...

So that means there's another dog?

Toby, I think there's another dog, and he's coming your way.

Don't do it.

Don't... don't...

What was that?

Good ol' Angus must've found somethin'.

Fan out, fan out and find out what that is.


Whoa! Whoa!


Ow, ow, that was the dog. That was Toby!

Come on, you imbeciles!

Get me my talking dog!

Activate Mr. Sandman.




What are you doing sleeping in the middle of the night?

I was just resting my eyes. Geez.

Mommy, I don't wanna go to school today.

I'm afraid to ask this, but do I look like your mother?

Get up, get up! Go, go, go! We're losing him!

Go, go, go, go!

Go, go! Sleepin' on the job.

Aw, no!

You brainless imbeciles let him get away!

We'll go find him! We got it!

No, no, don't go anywhere! I need you here.

I gotta get this show on the road.

All right, tighten security.

Hire reinforcements. Do something to help me!

I have to go have a little chat with our guest.


Round up some goons. We got a job to do.

Sure thing! I'll just go put an ad in the crime paper!

Well, we didn't get what we came for, but we made it out of there in one piece.

But how are we gonna save Auntie B?

Don't worry, kid. I have a plan.

Good. A plan is good.

At first I didn't know who I could trust within the agency.

Now that we know Agent Lane's the crooked one, I can get by with a little help from my friends.

I finally figured out what the B in Auntie B stands for... the best and the brightest!

Oh, Bonnie, you truly are a genius.

Oh, can it, Lane!

Ooh, I am sincere.

I speak from my heart's core.

Look at these scientists!

My scientists, the best that money could buy!

The greatest minds in the universe!

Nobel Prize winners!

All of them working for what seems like an eternity trying to create what you have already created.

You know, billions and billions of overseas dollars from my investors have gone into supporting them trying to do what you've already done.

We attempted on every single kind of species.

We tried a parrot.

A goat.

A bunny, a turtle, a mouse, a horse!

Say "not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin."

All right, BLTs for lunch!

We even tried a fish.

We got the same results every time.

Guess what? We got nothing!

I thought the cat would work, I was sure!

And we got something, we did.

I thought every little child would wanna say good night to his own little kissy kitty cat, and I would be so rich!

Ew, humans, gross! Please give me my space.

You there, fathead, what's for lunch?

Fathead, fathead!

Fathead, fathead! I'm talking to you!

Mouthy little furballs, aren't they?

"Fathead." That really hurt.

You were a good agent, Lane.

I was not only a good agent, I was a great agent!

I was an excellent agent!

But Uncle Benny's got a mortgage.

You see what I drive?

Well, I guess for you making money is more important than helping people, but for me, it's the other way around.

Oh, she's a wonderful woman.

I can't say it with a straight face.

You know, there's still a chance for you to give up peacefully.

If you let me out right now, I'll tell the agency to go easy on you just because you've been so reasonable. How about that?

That's very nice. Let me think about that.

I may have to change my whole life's plan, but I will, sincerely, I will.


Let's cut to the chase.

This is your workstation.

You have all the materials you need to make me a prototype of that B Link.

And if you refuse... we'll pay a little call on your niece and nephew.

And we won't be quite as nice to them... as we were to you.

All right, Lane, you win.

Cut me free, and I'll get to work.

I said you were smart.

All right, come on, cut her loose.

You have two hours.

Get to work!

Prescott, Hawk.

Toby, what's wrong?

Auntie B's in trouble.

Well, what are we waitin' for?

Work fascinates me.

I could sit and watch it for hours.

You're doing a beautiful job.

Just remember, clock's ticking.

Welcome to the party.

I want all exits on lockdown.

Slanderella? Slanderella?

Huh? Gimme a perimeter.


Nobody in, nobody out.

You and you. Follow me, boys.

Well, it's ready.

Oh, it's ready, that's good, that's nice.

It's ready! Oh!

Hand it over to Uncle Benny.

You got what you wanted, now let me go.

Oh, a deal's a deal, but let's just make sure this baby works.

Fair is fair.

Mm-hmm, knock yourself out.

Voice activated and everything.

Come here, Angus. Eh? Eh?

All right, activate B Link.

Hey, boss. What can I do for you?

My baby! It spoke to me!

We did it, we did it!

Looks like they set up patrols along the perimeter.

We'll park offsite, sneak our way in. Copy that.

I'll pull up here, and we'll tuck in behind this building.

Everybody know what they're doing?

It's showtime.

Yoo-hoo! Hey, lady! Lookin' for me?

Oh, good!

I was startin' to get bored out here.

Really? Catch me if you can.

Get him, get him, get him! Go!

Yes, yes, that's right.

120% fully functional.

Your buyers are going to be more than satisfied, and we'll be ready for mass production next month.

That's right! Yes, yes, fantastic.

Domo arigato.

Enough, Lane! Let me go!

You know what? I changed my mind.

She's coming with us.

Wait, what? You can't do that.

I can do anything that I put my mind to now.

What if something breaks, eh?

We have nobody here to fix it, and I'm not going to let that happen ever again.


That's right. Excellent, yes.

Boys and girls, we need to vacate these premises immediately.

So destroy any evidence that we were ever here, especially incriminating evidence.

Nothing left.

Lane Technologies sign, I'd like to keep that for my rumpus room if anyone has a stepladder.

Now let's crate up Porky, shall we?

And anything too heavy to lift, burn!

All right, quick like bunnies!

That's good. Quick like bunnies!

Everything gone!

Who's that? Looks like some kids.

What do they want?

Why don't you go and ask 'em?

Hello, sir. We're raising money for my softball team, the Ladybugs, and we're going door-to-door asking local businesses for sponsorships.

You kids can't be here. This is private property.

We're so sorry, sir. I just got my license, and I promised my dad I'd take my sister around.

She just loves softball.

You know what?

I love softball too. I do, I do, hold on.

This is for you.

Really? Oh, yeah, yeah, hold on.

Oh, Buzz!

Come out here, cheapskate!

Pony up a few bucks for the kids, for their softball team.

We are softball fans.

Agent Barks, do you copy?

Yeah, a little busy right now.

Another canine is inbound.

Not again.

Hey there, pup. Boy, am I glad I can talk!

Now, I can tell all the other dogs how I kicked your tail up and down this warehouse.

Sunny Wolf, it's Angus.

Got that little pooch you're lookin' for.

Meet me in the back hallway.

You know, your boss is a real crumb.

We could use a guy like you on our side.

You know, the good guys?

Yeah, well, the bad guys don't seem so bad when they dole out a million treats.

Good guys ever pay you a million treats?

No, but at least I can go to sleep knowing I'm doing the right thing.

Oh, I sleep just fine, little guy.

On a big pile of treats.

Well, end of the road, little fella.

Just give up, before I unleash the beast on you.

You asked for it.

Angus, get him!

What the...?

Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!

Not so fast.

Goons, sic 'em.

You're surrounded, both of you.

Time to move in.

Take this. Toby gave it to us, but we don't know what it is.

The Crossbone.

Auntie B told me all about this thing.

Let's hope it works.

Hey, kid, you think you can drive this monster?

Like the wind, sir.

That's what I like to hear.

You're the extraction team.

It's go time.

Oh, you should've run while you had the chance.

Look! Now I have two for one.

You know... ahem.

It took me a long time to develop the B Link.

I couldn't make it work.

It got so hot, I must've melted through a dozen prototypes.

All the circuits would overheat.

Darn thing would cook from the inside out.

But I figured it out.

Liquid nitrogen.

But I had to be careful.

Oh, yeah? Why's that?

Well, if I use too much... it would freeze!


Activate Crossbone.

Agent Toby Barks.

Hey, hey, hey! I've heard enough from you!

I'm running away!

Come on!


You're trapped, Lane! There's nowhere else to run!

You still have a chance to make this right, Lane.

Trapped like a gray rat.

Just... turn yourself in, and give up now.

What did mother used to say?

When cornered, use what you got.


It's time to face the music.

Won't get me without a fight.

Come on, let's do this!

And that's what I'm talkin' about.

Still got it. Yeah, we do.

Oh, hey, guys.

See what we did?

Well, go arrest them.




Outstanding work.

Check out the human popsicle.

Oh, don't worry, he'll thaw out in a few hours.

Or a few days.

I don't remember.

There's my family!

Auntie B!

Ah, look who's talkin' now!

How about some petting? Oh, that feels good.

I just don't get it.

We've been out here since four in the morning, we've done everything by the book and still nothing.

Wait a minute, what do you got there?

Well, it's a little trick that my daughter taught me.

Is that a gummy worm?

Sure is! You wanna try it?

Um, no, thanks, I'll stick to the real worms.

Suit yourself. Hey, I'll try one.

Yes, sir, sure.

Here we go.

It's, uh, create your own luck, right, sir?

I like your attitude, Teddy.

Gummy me up. There you go.

Thank you. Yes, sir.


Here goes nothin'.

Oh! Hey...

Hey, nice... nice cast, sir, that was a good job.

Thank you, Teddy. Yeah.

You know, I hear you can catch Bigfoot with Sour Patch Kids.


I got one! I got one!

Come on. Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, that looks like a big one too, sir.

Oh, he's a-fightin', help me out here, Teddy.

Oh, wait, yes, sir.

Oh, my gosh!

That is a big one!

Whoa, there he is!

Hold on, I got him, I got him!

There he is! Right here, right here!

The legendary fish of Falcon Lake!

And you caught him, sir! You caught him!

Thanks to you and your gummy worms, Teddy.

I tell you, it's innovative ideas like that that separate the good from the great.

How about you come into my office Monday morning, and we talk about a promotion, hm? What do you say?

Yes, sir.

All right. Ahem.

All right, Dave, you can come too.

After all, you were here when we caught this glorious fish, so you must be at least a little lucky.

How 'bout we call it an early day, huh?

Pack it in, beat the traffic?

Because I don't think we're gonna top this fella.

Yes, sir, great idea. Good idea.

I can't wait to surprise my kids!

Nothin'. All right.

Okay, we're just about ready to rock and roll.

Hey, everybody, Dad's home early! Oh!

Hey! Hi, sweetness, look at you!

You look so great! Welcome back!

Thanks, buddy.

Wow, you're sharp too. What's goin' on here?

You guys look so...

This is Agent Prescott.

Call me Laura. Wow!

I'm sorry, hi.

I'm Ted. Nice to meet you. Hi.

Why-why-why are you guys all dressed up, though?

What's going on? Funny you should ask that.

Anybody see a pair of cufflinks?

I know I put 'em down a minute ago, now they're gone. Hey, Ted!

Can I borrow a pair of cufflinks?

Um, why don't you go throw a suit on, and I'll explain everything on the way?

Yeah, uh, okay.

Welcome back, Ted. Cufflinks!

Is that why... Yeah. He's gonna be fine.

Thank you! Thank you so much, everyone! Thank you!

And, so you're hearing that too, right?

Yeah. Okay.

Well, agents, you know what that means.

What... What does that mean?

Looks like our next mission.

Agent Barks, you take the lead.

Yes, sir. Agents, mount up!