Among Friends (2012) Script

How come there isn't booze in this thing?


Nice mullet, dude!

I do look wonderful, don't I?

Here's champagne, you guys. Champagne. Everybody, cheers.

Cheers. This is fun!

Party has arrived!

Fuckin' rad! What's up, bro?

Guys, come on, a toast. Seriously, everybody.

Everybody. You got some? Cheers.

Marcus!

Check it out, man. Limo, buddy!

Let's get fucked up!

Tonight is gonna be killer.

Bernadette went all out on this shit.

Well, she is the queen of details. More like obsessive.

I'd shoot myself in the face if I was anything like her.

Doesn't stop you from drinking her champagne.

What is that? Shroom ball.

I got 'em from the guy on set. He gave 'em to me.

Mushrooms?! What kind of movie is it gonna be?

Like psychedelic porn? Like people getting all tripped out and, like, fucking goats and shit?

No, it is a real movie this time... totally legit.

I have lines and everything.

Oh, congrats, sis, that's awesome.

Thanks, bro. I'm totally psyched.

Speaking of lines, Jules, you got any blow?

Don't insult me. Of course I do.

Who's left?

Lily. Easy, trigger.

Hey, man, I think you have one more stop.

Thank you.

What the hell?

Lily's not on this list.


Goatee... bold choice.

Nice hair, motherfucker.

Mmm, yes. Creeper.

Suck a good dick, don't you?

Get out of this goddamn thing.

Thanks, man. Yep. You probably do, too.

Hi.

You dirty bitch.

Bye. Mmm, nice tits.

Fuck off.

Is she even home?

This may be our last party here ever.

Bernadette says she wants to move. She can't stand the people.

Can you imagine having to be a psychologist in this town?

Psychiatrist.

Psychologist.

I think I know. I introduced her to everyone.

Whatever. It's the same thing.

No, it's not, Blane. Whatever, Sara.

Oh, no!

I left my phone in the limo.

Oh, crap.

Bernadette?

Dude, what's it say? What's what say?

The note, idiot. Oh.

It says, "come around back."

Bernie?

Door's open.

Yo, Bernie, quit fucking around.

Have a nice trip? See you next fall!

Ow. Fuck.

Why is this shit lying in the middle of the fucking floor like that?

Bernie?

Ow, fuck.

Bernadette?

It's not fucking funny!

A little bit. You should have seen your faces.

I almost had a heart attack. Oh, you're fine.

Oh, we can't have you checking out early.

I think I'm gonna... Can I go to the bathroom?

Oh, you know what? My bathroom's off limits.

Sorry. You can use the one in the hall.

I'm gonna go too. Did you make fudgy panties?

Fuck off.

Everyone else ready for a cocktail?

Yes. Seriously, though, did you?

Nice little spread here.

Always impressive, Bernie.

Where's the vodka?

Dark days Ooh, bright nights

You make it easy...

So when do we start the game?

Soon. You ever played this game before?

I got Blane's sister a "whodunit" game last Christmas.

But, anyway, I didn't end up going, but, um, so I don't really know how to play.

And when you're near...


Cocktails?

You make me higher...

That one there is for you. It's a virgin.

Thank you for pointing that out.

Thank you.

Thank you.

To... integrity.

Hmm, integrity. I like that.

Is that like honesty? Kind of.

Integrity.

I want to make another toast.

To Adam.

60 days clean... that's awesome.

Cheers, Besty.

Wow, man, you're like an N.A. poster boy, man. Congratulations.

Yeah, like N.A. Poser boy. You shut your mouth.

Come on, Jules. Come on. You want me. Just a kiss.

Never have, never will. Come on.

Six years and this doofus doesn't get it.

Blane, she's a lesbian, which means she doesn't like hot dogs.

If she had one bite of my hot dog...

Ah, that's gross. More like Vienna sausage.

Totally! Hot dog? And why would you want me to bite it?

A woman should bite it, like, with... not with your teeth, kind of like a... like...

Your face looks like an asshole when you do that.

Oh, snap!

Good one. Where's Lily?

Lily's not here.

She will probably not be joining us for dinner.

Why not?

Ooh, it's part of the murder mystery we have to solve, isn't it?

Okay. "Tonight we're playing a game of 'whodunit.' it's prom night in 1984.

You and your friends are gathered for some pre-prom partying."

Come on! Okay, come on, you guys have to get into it!

Okay okay, this is awesome. Okay okay.

"One of your friends is missing."

"It turns out that someone here...

Yes, one of your closest friends... is, like, totally a killer!"

Ooh, I knew it! I knew it!

You're so smart.

So, okay. "It's your job to figure out who the killer is and why he or she has snapped.

In this house, there's evidence to be found which will help you figure out 'whodunit.' there's evidence in the kitchen, the master bedroom, and the guest bedroom. To find it, think like a killer.

You should now split up and meet back in the dining room with whatever you find, at which point, more information will be given."

But we gotta smoke some crack first.

Smoke crack? I don't get it.

Crack? The '80s.

Oh, right. Hey, sheesh!

So, wait, one of us is the killer? Yes.

Okay, but how do I... How do I know if I'm the killer?

Blane, we need to play the game in order.

I could be the killer. Is that... yes?

Yes. Yes, Blane.

I just want to make it straight. I don't want to fuck it up!

That's the best idea I've ever heard. All right.

Please, God, just play the game.

Just play the game. I just want to get it right.

Let's play the game.

Melanie, partner up? Melanie?

Jules, it's really not fair that the two geniuses should get paired up, but sometimes that happens. Mmm.

The master bedroom doesn't stand a chance.

Yeah, party. Nice ass.

He's gonna try to have sex with my sister.

They're gonna ruin Bernie's bed.

That's so gross.

Hmm.

Well... If I was gonna be a killer, I'd definitely be thinking about sex.

Really? Me too!

Mm-hmm.

That's so weird. Yeah.

Too bad you're packing meat.

Psych, motherfucker!

Really, I'd think about where to stash the body.

Ah.

Oh.

Did you get my texts?

Oh, I got your texts.

Very cute.

I was at the studio.

Figured you'd be here, right?

And look, there you are.

I'm not always gonna be here.

Play the game.

You are beautiful.

Amazing.

Look, I owe you an apology.

Trust me.

Yo, Jules, yo, check this out.

Huh?

It's everybody.

Aw, cute!

God, that must've taken her a long time.

Now I feel bad for talking all that shit. Hmm.

Bernie's all right.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Oh.

Gnarly.

Found it!

So...

You sure you're okay?

Yeah, dude. You and Mel keep asking me.

Because the last 10 times I talked to you, you were having a nervous breakdown.

I was really drunk.

For three weeks straight?

Kinda.

Thanks for being here. I'm fine.

No sweat.

Now, if I were a killer, I'd...

Go straight for the knives. Got it.

Oh, yuck! Ew.

Found it!

Bernie, you are one sick puppy.

Wow, that's sick.

Teeth? Yup.

What the hell is that?

That's nasty.

Back to the game.

Whoa, you all right, Jules? Jules, you all right?

Yeah, I'm just... I'm starting to feel my buzz.

Yo, you got any more of that chocolate? Give me some.

You know, that shroom ball you had in the limo?

Just give me... give me... just give me some real quick.

Come on. Please.

Please, punk, please. Come on. Please!

I'm your partner. Share.

Please.

But only take half.

All right.

Huh?

Wait, how much did you take? You take more?

Sucker.

Ow! Come on.

Got it, Bernie!

We found two.

Well done.

Tacky earring... that bitch deserves it. Ahh!

Really must say, fellas, this one's a doozy!

Gross! Oh!

Oh! Gross.

This fuckin' tastes like shit.

Okay, now everyone gets a personal clue.

They're right under your chairs.

Ooh, a present!

What is it? Hmm. You show me yours first.

What am I, a fuckin' magician?

Boiled rabbit!

I don't get it.

Okay, it's that movie where that guy cheats on his wife and then that... that crazy bitch, like, stalks him.

It's a classic. You've seen that movie.

We've watched that movie like 30 times.

I don't know.

It's cute.

There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all.

Mmm. Gay pride. Oh, I think this one should be for Jules.

Yeah. Ooh, ahh!

Yeah, by all means.

Oh! Um... uh, "see no evil."

No shit, Sherlock.

Uh-huh.

Uh, Chinese finger trap.

You know, like, two guys, one girl.

You know, like...

Ooh! A black box!

"What's in the box?!"

It went straight for my face.

Hmm.

Ooh, a remote.

Are you gonna turn us on?

Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Get up.

I'm okay. The party... here's the party.

Jeez, are you okay? Are you okay, sis?

Fine, I'm fine. I'm okay.

I just couldn't move for a second. I'm okay.

Jeez, Jules, I knew you were mixing too much stuff.

Lighten up, party.

Oh, my God. You all right, Adam?

I feel fucked up. Ow. I can't...

You guys all right?

I can't feel my legs. Me neither.

What'd you put in the punch, Bernadette?

This part of the game or what?

Are you all right?

Bernie, are you okay? Call 911.

Guys, don't freak out. We don't need to call 911.

It's just part of the... the party.

Jesus! Fuck, he's on the floor!

Somebody tell me what the fuck is going on here!

Dude, are you all right? We're okay, we're okay.

Get me up. Get me the fuck up.

Wait, wait, can... can't anyone get up?

No! No! What... what...

How'd you get those pineapples to sit so still?

She's fucking tripping, all right? No shit, man.

What? 'Cause she took mushrooms, all right?

Dude, stand up. I can't!

What?

Well, she took mushrooms in the limo and then more when we were in the bedroom.

I took some too.

Jules, do you still see the pineapples?

Yeah, they're right there.

Can you get up and go get me one of those pineapples?

They'll knock themselves down eventually.

I just gotta get a good angle on them.

Okay, so no one... no one can get up?

Clearly no. Sara, can you get up?

I can't get up.

What the fuck?

No one asked me if I could move.

What's going on?

What the hell is going on?

Okay, relax, everyone. This is part of the game.

It's gonna be fun.

What the hell is going on?

Now you will notice that you can't move your body from the waist down.

I'm scared.

We're gonna be fine. It's fine, just part of the game.

So we're just fine. Yeah, it'll be okay. It'll wear off.

Well, the more you drank, the longer that'll take.

Bernadette, what the fuck?! What did you do?

You'll see.

Marcus, you were supposed to stay in your chair.

Oh, my bad. Go fuck yourself.

This isn't funny. I think it's hilarious.

Bernadette, that's enough. It's not cool.

Bernadette, what the hell did you do? This is a fun game.

No, it's not.

You are fucking psychotic!

Where the fuck you going?

Where are you going, Bernadette?

Get up. Please get up, please get up.

Get up. Can you see her? Melanie...

Oh, my God! Oh, my God, no!

Why would you do that? He needed more.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

No, please.

Fuck you, Bernadette. You fucking crazy whore!

You fucking bitch!

Bernadette, Bernadette, please. Bernadette, please don't do this.

I will put it in his heart if you don't shut the fuck up!

I'm sorry.

Cool. No, it's not cool.

You know, I've got access to all kinds of drugs much more fun than your street shit.

Okay, hold, hold, hold... time out. Fuckin' shit.

I can't talk and move him at the same time.

Don't move him. Be right back.

Fuckin' kill you, Bernadette. Had to get out of your chair!

Not going to plan, fuckin' Bernadette, huh?

Don't antagonize her, Marcus.

God. No, please. Please shh!

Fuckin' psychotic bitch.

Fuck you!

For the love of God.

Fuck you.

Baby, are you okay?

Pay attention, puppies.

Are you ready to play?

Jules.

Come and play with us forever and ever and ever.

Jules! Your little mushrooms weren't part of the plan, but I guess we'll just have to make do.

You all agree to behave?

Let's go over a couple of rules.

Watch your words tonight because while you may normally do things without thinking, you're accountable for everything you say.

Everyone gets to ask me one question... one... so choose wisely.

When it comes to decisions, it's minority rule.

Therefore, when I ask for a vote, all I need is one.

Jules, you all right?

You have to focus, Jules.

You're ruining audience participation.

You are an ugly stinky cunt.

Wait.

What? You only like it when the girl doesn't?

I know you've got some.

Finders keepers.

That's right, gang.

Adam's working the 13th step... relapse.

Adam, how could you?

Quality stuff too. Right, Jules?

It's so easy to fall off the wagon when your sister pulls you off.

Now take a deep breath.

Oh, no, she can handle it. We don't call her "party" for nothing.

She can't breathe.

You're all the best of friends, right?

Right?!

You've known each other for a long time, been through a lot together?

Over the last year, I've gotten to know you pretty well.

I'd say we're all really good friends.

That's what just doesn't make any sense.

Never does.

Jules, look at me.

Are you okay? What are we gonna do?

Relax. Everything's going to be okay.

Fuck, man.

Everyone just stay cool. Now now!

Share with the group. There will be no more secrets.

Jules, just keep breathing.

You sick bitch.

What did you just say?

I said, "you sick bitch"!

Now you wanna be a tough girl, huh?

Yeah?

You'll see.

I'm just here to help all of you come clean.

Who a person is behind closed doors is who they really are.

Are you all ready to see yourselves in action?

I guess the bigger question is, are you ready to see your best friends behind closed doors?

Hidden cameras?

You've been spying on us?

I wouldn't call it spying.

You're fucking sick.

By the time we're done, you're going to realize I'm the most honest person here.

I doubt that.

If you're not willing to do things out in the open in the presence of friends, then you probably shouldn't be doing them, right?

You can't say you're so fucking honest if you've been watching us without us knowing.

My house, my rules. If you had asked, I would have told you.

I didn't think I had to ask my friend if she was spying on me.

I'd say from what I discovered you always have to ask if you're being watched.

Don't move.

Wait. Lily.

Yes, Lily.

Where is she? What did you do to her?

One question at a time.

Where is she or what have I done to her?

Where is she?!

My question would have answered that, but fine... where is she?

Oh, my God. Oh, no, I haven't killed her, if that's what you're thinking.

No, no, no, and have her miss my going-away party?

Mmm, where is Lily?

This is where the game really gets going.

For every question I answer, you have to give me something.

We'll keep the first one really simple.

In return for my answer, I get to give you a haircut.

What?

A haircut?

Remember? Group vote? Minority rule?

As the hostess, I must refrain from voting.

Where the fuck is Lily?

No, Marcus, that's Sara's question.

You'll have to ask something else. Go fuck yourself.

So...


Do it. Screw you, Blane!

It's just a haircut, Sara. It's gonna grow back.

It only takes one vote and there it is.


Fuck you!

You fucking dick!

Lily's upstairs.

I'm sorry.

Let's just check in on old Lil.

Lily.

Oh, God.


We... we... we have to kill her.

Bon appetit.

Oh!

Oh, gross. Oh, God.

What is this?

Oh! We have our next question.

Meet your meat, Blane.

What will you give me in return?

That was, uh...

Just rhetorical.

Wow. That's a big word for you, Blane.

Too bad you don't actually know what it means.

See, a rhetorical question doesn't require an answer because the answer is obvious.

Here, I'll give you an example of a rhetorical question...

Are you stupid?

I meant hypothetical.

This is why I went over the rules at the beginning.

You get one question.

That's not the question that I was asking, Bernadette.

Oh, but you already asked it.

But it's not the question that I meant to ask.

I've always thought your eyebrows could use some taming.

Do it. What?

Serves you right for voting against Sara.

Finally! Someone gets it.

We have one vote.

Oh, Bernadette, when... when you said earlier about... about the haircut, you said "haircut."

You didn't say "scalping."

You said "haircut"!

I didn't understand that that was the question that I was... Jules, take it back now!

No, no, Melanie, there's no taking it back.

I warned you to watch your words.

Sit still, Blane.

I don't want to take an eye out by accident.

No, no, no!

So the answer to your question is that meat's just some sick bastard who touched this little girl one too many times.


I'm sorry, Sara.

Adam.

You spoiled your dinner.

That was just going to annoy me all night.

On with the game.

Crap.

Is that the limo driver?

Oh! Hey.

Hi. You look beautiful.

You've having a party, huh?

Party's dying down, actually.

Help!

Sounds like it's going pretty good.

What can I do for you?

Help!

I used to be quite a dancer.

What can I do for you?

Somebody left their phone in my limo.

I brought it back for you. Oh, great, thank you so much for bringing this back. Have a great night.

Uh, excuse me, could... before I leave, could I use your bathroom?

Help! Help!


What are you doing?


We're fucked. We're fucked. We're fucked.

She's gonna fucking kill us.

Fuck.

Do you see what you just made me do?

Idiots.

Marcus, you ready?

Jules!

Jules!

You're about to make your debut.

You too, Sara.

Pay attention.

Well, so you all remember labor day weekend.

...and bones collide, oh!

Love, waking up the dead And moving the listless My arms, limbs come alive Like they were vestiges Of a dying language that we accepted Forfeit before you both were born Now what has turned up missing And what the dead took with it No one here really knows how bad for sure We simply didn't see the need And there was no connection, all agreed?

Let's go to the split screen.

Don't want to miss anything.

Hmm. Marcus.

Welcome to the dance It's a fragile sway Back and forth together, now separate...

They didn't know you were there. Did they?

No one here among us can know for sure We simply didn't see the need And there was no connection, all agreed?

But don't worry your mind so This has got nothing to do with...

There's a place in France Where the naked ladies dance...

But don't worry your mind so...

Stop it, Bernie.

New rule.

Anyone here says "stop" and you automatically lose a finger.

No vote required.

No! No!

Oh, God! Fuck!

You might want to put some pressure on that.

Let's see how it ends.

Yeah, right there. Ah.

You're gonna make me come.

Stop it, Bernie.

I fucking warned you.

No, no, not again! No!

Bernadette!

Fuck you, Bernie. Fuck you.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Pressure.

This isn't happening. This isn't happening.

Any requests?

We've already taken off two fingers.

Perhaps an ear?

Maybe his eyes?

Yeah?

Jules.

Huh?

Do you want me to punish Marcus?

He watched. So what?

He got off, just like you.

I did not get off to anything I've seen.

Let's be clear about that.

Hmm.

Psychologically, he has to give something up in order to feel like he's paid for his crime. You'll be helping him.

We are not going to have you cutting people up for something that they did in the heat of the moment.

Yeah, so what?

We're just getting started, Sara.

My bad.

We never addressed Melanie's question.

What was it? What have I done to Lily?

Hmm.

Fuck.

So answer it. Shut up, Sara!

Sara's right. I have to answer you, and you have to give me something.

What are you gonna... never mind.

Shut the hell up, Adam!

I haven't decided yet.

I don't care about the answer, okay?

I don't care. You don't care about what's happened to one of your best friends?

No! I don't give a fuck what you did to her, just please please please please please don't do anything to me, please!

Shocker.

No.

Don't. Too bad.

You knew the rules.

Fuck me!

Fuck! Oh, no, no, no, no! Oh, fuck!

We do need one vote first.

Nobody say anything. Nice try.

We won't have a stalemate.

I'll just keep chopping off Marcus's fingers until one of you pipes up.

Can I take Melanie's place?

You want to take her place? Yes.

Do whatever you were gonna do to her to me instead.

That's friendship.

I'm not gonna sit here and watch you cut up Marcus.

And I'm not gonna vote for you to do anything to Melanie.

So if it has to be done, fine, I'll take it.

I've always liked you best, Sara.

You've got some character.

Just for that...

I'll let you pick which hand.

Don't play, Sara.

You're not even gonna protest this?

Look at me, Sara. Don't look at her.

There you go. You're gonna be fine.

Everything's going to be okay.

This isn't even the worst thing that's happened to you today.

You know, you've got my puke all over you.

Jules, tell her!

Tell her she's gonna be okay.

Keep looking at me. Ah, ah, ah, ah!

Lily came to me because she needed an abortion.

But you're a psychologist.

I didn't give her the abortion, you imbecile.

I took her to get it done.

Of course she had to choose today. But she's bleeding.

Well, if you would let me finish...

It's actually what I didn't do to Lily.

She was bleeding out and needed medical attention.

I just did what people do all the time.

Nothing.

Moving on.

Well, Blane?

Blane.

What?

Yeah, Blane... what?

Fuck you, you crazy bitch. That's what.

Okay.

If you insist, I'll go straight into it without any intro.

Are you drunk? Yeah.

What are you doing? I don't know. I just wanted to see.

Yeah?

You look good.

Really good.

What are... what are you doing?

I don't know. What am I doing?

What?

Last Christmas, Blane and I were still together.

He ended up cheating on you with some 20-year-old.

So that makes it okay?

Fuck you, Melanie!

Mmm.

Don't mind me.

You knew?

Ooh, ooh.

Come here.

Shh.

This button has wanted to come off for a while now.

Oh. Yeah.

Ah, you like that?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What?!

We all know how you like to watch.

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, yeah.

I was hoping we'd see Blane do some guy-on-guy.

Fuck me. Would have been more dramatic.

But, alas, no.

Oh, God.

Say it.

Say, "fuck me." Say it.

Say it.

Turn it off!

Yeah, fuck me. Turn it the fuck off!

Oh, wait.

I'm gonna come. You want me to come?

Yes, come on my tits. Do you want me to come?

Yeah. Say it. Say it.

Yes. Fuck.

Sharing is caring.

Jules.

What do you think about all this?

Nothin'.

Nothing?

Nothing.

All you're doing is showing a bunch of friends fooling around.

So what?

We all cheat a little, tell a little lie here and there.

It doesn't make anything you're doing justified.

There's no such thing as a little lie, Jules.

Just like there's no such thing as being a little pregnant.

Sara, what do you think?

It's disappointing, isn't it?

Oh, Melanie, was it just the once or did it happen again?

Things like this usually happen again.

Answer her.

I'm pretty sure you've got your answer.

You want to write things off like you just got carried away in the heat of the moment? Guess what?

Each of those moments strung together is a lifetime.

Is there anything you want me to do, Sara?

Don't.

She's trying to get you to do something terrible.

Don't let her manipulate you into doing anything more.

I can't believe this is happening.

I loved you.

I would have done anything for you.

What the fuck did I do to deserve any of this?

Come off it, Sara.

Don't act like you've never done anything wrong.

Do tell.

You've been stalking him, logging into his emails.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Don't act like you're all holier than thou.

How long you been going through my shit, Sara?

What the fuck is she talking about?

Maybe as long as you've been fucking my best friend.

Enough, all right?

Everybody keep their fucking mouths shut.

Hey, Marcus, you're so perfect, why don't you tell everybody what you got arrested for, huh?

Did you not fucking understand me? Keep you fucking mouth shut!

Wait, wait, wait!

It wasn't for beating up that guy who was harassing Blane's sister?

No, it was getting for fucking a parking ticket, all right?

I got a boot on my car and I went to fucking jail.

Now end the fucking game!

That is so lame.

What is the endgame, Bernadette?

We're getting there.

Adam. Bernie. Please don't.

First of all, I've told you guys 100 times...

I don't like being called Bernie.

My name is Bernadette.

Secondly, you should be thanking me, you coward.

I'm giving you a chance to come clean.

Don't worry, Adam.

You're among friends.

This is a movie.

Bernadette.

Please don't.

Oh, fuck.

I almost threw up. Almost or did?

But I didn't throw up. I'm feeling really...

Very happy.

Good good. Mmm!

Let's go have a pizza.

Pizza? Yeah, let's have some pizza.

Pizza's so good.

Okay, in a minute. I just need a little bit of...

...Lily time. Why?

Why? Why? Why? Friendship.

Why? Friendship.

Friendship? Yeah.

You're a very good friend.

Thank you. You're welcome. Okay.

I say we go outside... No.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

Is this your first time in heels?

What? No, I wear heels all the time.

I wear heels all the time.

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Are you okay? Are you okay?

I'm fine. Stop trying to kiss me.

I'm not trying... You are trying to kiss...

No, I'm not, I'm trying to find this spot.

Ah! There, I found it.

The Lily spot.

I found the Lily spot.

Okay, that's enough. It's not funny.

I know. It's a little bit.

It's not funny now. It's cool.

Please get off me.

Come on, let's go outside. Okay, two seconds.

Adam, what are you doing?

Adam, st...

Adam, stop!

Adam, stop it!

Shut the fuck up! God. You don't have to.

You nearly killed my fucking ear!

Calm... Lily, calm down.

Don't act like you do not want me to fuck you. Calm down.

Don't.

You're boring the... Fuck out of me!

Doesn't fait shit!

I'm on set. I'm on set.

This is a movie. I'm on set. I'm on set.

How did my career end up like this?

Oh, Michael Biehn.

Fantasy sequence, Jules?

Michael, wake up, please! I don't fucking speak French!

Fuck you, Jules.

Okay, all right. Enough enough.

I'm sure it's... I'm sure it's good. Where'd all my lines go?

Is this even a union fucking production?

And you go really really fast and the ship goes away from earth.

You go at the speed of light, you actually don't age as quickly.

You stay young. That's right.

Would somebody get me fucking something to drink?!

What is wrong with this girl?

Stop it!

Fuck. Come back here, please!

Open it for me. I can't drink it like that.

Sorry. Thank you.

Please don't. I'm sorry.

Oh, fuck. Don't fucking do that.

Talent's flying in. Talent's flying in. Let's do this.

Fucking bitch!

What the fuck is wrong with you? Think she's a union actress?

Oh! What the hell?!

It's called the screen actors guild.

Let's go. I can't move!

You want to get out of my chair?

I can't move.

Can we get second team out of chair, please?

Somebody? A little help. Who the fuck is this girl?

She doesn't even look like me.

You gotta go. I can't get out of my chair.

I can't get out of my chair! Get out of her fucking chair.

Do it! Now!

Fuck! Don't do this.

Don't do this. Do you ever want to work again?

Yes! Oh, my God, Bernadette!

Do you want to work again, bitch? Yes!

No! Yes!

Bernadette, what are you doing?!

Yes!

Oh, my God! You fucking bitch!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

I don't know what... Get out of my chair.

This is bullshit. Get out of her fucking chair!

Get out! Get up!

Get out now or I'll fucking take you out of here.

Is there craft services around here?

Get the fucking M&Ms.

Get me some M&Ms!

Bitch. You're out of here!

Jesus Christ. Get out now.

The girl from "Halloween"? Rachel?

Get out! Get her out of here!

Bitch.

Get out now or I'll fucking take you out of here. Bye!

What fucking happened to me?!

Get out of the chair!

Bitch! Out!

Oh, for crying out loud. First positions!

Everybody, first positions!

All of a sudden, everything went...

...black.

Fuck.

What happened?

Adam raped Lily... and Bernadette cut off his balls.

What? No!

Wait, someone voted yes on that?

You did!

No! No!

I'm... I'm sorry. I'm not laughing. It isn't... it's not funny.

He's laughing 'cause he's tripping, bro.

It's not funny.

Jules, are you happy?

You and your mushrooms are ruining everything.

Game on.

Oh, okay, so we have your brother and Lily in the bathroom.

And then, oh... oh, who's this?

Who's this?

Adam, what are you doing? Adam?

I didn't... I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to do. Well, well, do something.

Stop him!

Adam! Adam, stop!

Oh, or do nothing at all. Adam, stop it!

Has Adam ever tried that on you, Jules?

Never.

Hmm.

I would have had a shred of empathy if he had.

Ah. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, my God! Oh, no!

It's gonna be all right, Adam.

Adam, it's gonna be all right. What shall we do to help Jules make amends?

Cut her fucking tongue out!

I guess blood isn't so thick after all.

Fuck you. I like your style, Adam.

Tongue... that is how you castrate a lesbian.

Come back, movie, please come back.

Come back, movie, please come back.

Come back, movie, please come back.

What, Adam.

How could you? What, Sara?

Jules didn't do anything wrong.

Bystander apathy is an epidemic.

People standing by while someone is assaulted and not doing anything about it...

It happens every day and it makes me sick.

God, Bernadette, you are so full of shit.

What are you doing tonight? It's the same thing, right?

You're just making it so we can't help our friends.

Tonight doesn't count.

All of the days before tonight do.

Jules didn't do anything to help Lily.

And Lily... Lily was a victim!

Lily didn't have to stay a victim.

She didn't have to create more victims, but she wasn't going to do anything and begged me not to either.

You know, there's this myth that a rapist is some evil stranger hiding in a dark alley.

Most rapes are committed by someone the person knew... someone they trusted.

Family member, even.

It usually happens more than once.

I was supposed to live with that?

Knowing that Adam would probably do it again?

That's on my conscience.

That's my karma.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure your karma is fucked.

What the hell did I do to deserve any of this?

You didn't know I was looking at Blane's emails before 10 minutes ago.

What did I do, Bernadette?

You introduced me to these fucking people.

So you're gonna kill me?

Do you think they deserve what they've gotten tonight?

Never in a million years.

Then you're just another victim waiting to happen.

Shut up, Blane.

No, it's not that black and white.

It is always and only black or white.

Where are the goddamn scissors?

Glad you could join us, Lily.

Come on, Lily. I'm not gonna hurt you.

I'm not gonna hurt you. She's fucking crazy.

I'm just gonna slice your fucking face off.

Lily! God! Lily!

Get her! No!

Come on, Lil! Get her!

I'm sorry, Sara.

Fight back! Lily!

Kill her! Come on!

Get fucking help, you... You suck, Lily!

Your friends suck. No, they don't!

Lily, come on! Come on, get her!

Now the party's over.

Get up! Come on, get up!

Ah! Get her! Get up!

Lily, come on! Knock her the fuck out!

Get off me! Get her now!

Go! Get her!

Fucking kill her!

Yeah, fucking choke her!

Fucking bitch!

Thank God!

Come on, get up! Come on!

Come on, Lily. Is she dead?

Fucking stab her.

Get the tape. It's in the case.

Over there. Get it. Over here, come on!

Come on. Tie her up.

Get the tape!

Right, the tape.

Hurry up, let's go! Hurry, hurry!

Tie her up, please. Tie up the crazy girl on the floor.

She's crazy.

Faster!

Come on. Christ, come on, Lily. Come on.

Tighter, tighter. Get her feet! Come on, yeah!

Tie her up. Come on, hurry up!

Come on, yeah. Hurry.

A little faster, please! Hello?!

Come on! Cut us loose, come on!

Is it secure?

Yeah! Whoo!

Lily, I'm gonna need you to... Come on, let's go!

Hurry up! ...get the hammer.

Get the... get the scissors. Lily, I need you to do this.

It's not an option! Hammer!

Lily, cut us out! Let's go, Lily!

Get the fucking hammer! Hurry up!

Come on, hurry up. Come on!

That's the one. Yeah! Yeah, that's the one!

Yes! Come on.

Come on.

Please use the other side.

I told you, I'm not good at this. Other side.

Yes, fuck it, yes. That's it.

Okay.

Ah ah!

Hurry up!

Come on, Lily. You can do it. Why did she do all of this?

Just pull it up! Pull it up, come on!

She has this grandiose idea about integrity and ridding the world of bad friends.

And she's been watching us with cameras.

Anyway, she made us watch movies of ourselves doing really shitty things.

Like Marcus spying on Jules eating Sara out and jerking off to it.

And Melanie fucking Blane... and Adam at the same time.

I didn't fuck Adam.

And Adam raping you!

Why didn't you say anything?

Yeah, Lil, why didn't you tell me?

You needed an abortion?

Side note... you went to Bernadette?

We've been friends for a really fucking long time.

Yeah, Lil, why didn't you come to me? That's fucked up.

Are we really talking about this right now?

Yes. I'm just saying.

I didn't want anyone to know, okay?

And I just figured Bernie could keep it a secret, because she does that with her patients.

I'm sorry, Lil. I'm sorry.

I didn't know what to do.

I'm sorry.

Jules.

Wait, what... what do you mean?

What does she mean?!

Jules heard Adam while he was in the bathroom with you and she didn't know what to do, so she left.

You knew he was raping me... and you didn't do anything?

Okay.

Okay.

Who else knew?!

Nobody knew, okay, Lily? Nobody knew.

We found out tonight. Just cut... just cut us free.

I'm...

I'm sorry.

Sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

And you're sorry?

Who are you people?

"Sorry" is for things like bumping into someone or breaking a glass... Lily!

...or being late for a fucking appointment!

Come on, Lily, don't do this right now, okay?

You deserve that.

Adam didn't deserve that.

He doesn't? No.

What does he deserve? Nothing?

Because the truth is he wasn't sorry until he got caught.

He wasn't sorry while he was forcing himself onto me.

He wasn't sorry, uh, yesterday.

He wasn't sorry... We don't know that.

Are you defending him?

No! I'm just saying...

You're just saying that it's okay?!

No, please! We need help, Lily.

You know what?

I was gonna tell you.

I just didn't think that you would believe me.

I... I knew you wouldn't believe me, Sara.

Lily?

Cut us loose.

Please.

Yeah.


Bernadette...

She-she-she... she is right.

You suck.

And you suck!

You all suck.


Lily?

Fuck.

Lily?

Lily?

Lily? Lily? Lily!

Lily! Lily! Lily!

Lily! Lily! Lily!

Fuck!


Oversensitive, everything remains relative Conservative relationships, acting out like a sedative Over and under the influence of barbiturates Deep dead, damn, I feel sorry for college graduates It blows my mind Every single time Now you're all dead And think you've got an edge While we swim For someone else's breath I will lay in my bed I'll get my own instead Everybody's fucking with my mind Everybody's fucking with my mind Everybody's fucking with my mind Everybody's fucking with my mind Hey!

Can I go now?

Leave me alone now...

Can I get away?

Must stay I used to be invisible I used to hold my own...

What can I get for you? Double whiskey, rocks.

Sure.

I've fallen in love First a virtuoso Now a beast so cold Broken down, I'm at your Mercy At some point you took away... You took away My power Boy, you force me, you force me...

Hello? Hey, girl!

I just got the invitation.

So fun! Murder-mystery party!

I love it! And I love the theme.

Oh, my God, you are a fucking crazy bitch.

Oh, invite Stacy. I'd love to see her fat ass squeeze into a flapper dress.

Just invite some hot guys for me.

That's all I care about.

Hello?

Are you there? Hello?

Fucking phone. Am I talking to myself?

From the seas To the serpentine From the bees To your knees From the trees In the sunshine It doesn't even matter 'cause you never really get very far...

- From the seas... Sat at the bar with a skull mask on Sipped iced tea to my favorite song Went for a walk Saw a bride and groom in the park

Mashed potatoes, Uncle Sam Apple pie, honey-baked ham It doesn't even matter, 'cause you never really get very far

- From the seas... Sat at the bar with a skull mask on Sipped iced tea to my favorite song Went for a walk Saw a bride and groom in the park

Corn chips, dapper Dan Gumdrops, tasty lamb It doesn't even matter, 'cause you never really get very far.


Sadie is crazy She likes to lick the ladies And cocoa bites my toes And Lola loves the window