An American Werewolf in Paris (1997) Script

Taxi!

Taxi!

Help!


Keep the change.

There is no change.

Uh, yeah, well, keep it anyway.

Paris. Beware.

Hey, hey, watch it, man.

All right. I have the score for Spain.

Our leader with 125 daredevil points:

Yours truly.

In second place with 95: Chris.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second. What about the sex points?

No, those are separate. - Since when? You can't keep changing the rules.

Who said anything about sex points? Read your shirt. It says, daredevil tour.”

See that? She smiled at me.

In your dreams. She's not interested in douche bags like us.

European babes are charming and sophisticated, especially the French.

Hence the hairy pits. See what I mean?

I'll give you 20 sex points if you can so much as get her phone number.

She's not my type.

Oh, come on!

You... you haven't made a move this entire trip, Andy. - I'm choosy.

When was the last time you had sex?

With another person? There's sex and there's love.

That what differentiates humans from animals.

Okay, fine. When were you last in love? When were you ever in love?

Map's upside down, slick.

Give him a break, Chris. We can't let him fall too far back.

I won't need your charity once we get to Paris.

I'll show you guys a stunt you'll never top. - Oooh.


All clear.

Let's go.


One more! Five minutes.

I don't know why you bothered carrying that thing up there. You're never gonna use it.


Wooh-hoo-hal

all right, man, we did it!

How high do you think we are, man?

Check this out! Is that the louvre? This is intense!

Man!

Check out the stars.

Andy?

Andy, what are you doin'?

Hey, Andy.

Come and have some vin.

Andy?

What are you doin'?

For god sakes!

I think we pushed him too far.

I'm gonna go stop him. - Relax, man. He's never gonna go through with it.

Whoa. Slow down, chief. Come have a drink.

It's the real stuff. Has a cork.

No. I'm flying dry.

Look, I'm sorry about the train. We were just busting your balls, that's all.

Andy, you've proven yourself to us, okay? You don't have to go through with this.

Don't worry, Brad. Nobody's forcing me. I wanna do this. Understand?

Andy, this is madness, okay? You're gonna get yourself killed. Now, please.

I'm trying to talk some... - Guys, guys, shh. I think someone's comin'.

Shit.

Come on! Come on!


Who is it? Or what is it?

What is she doing here?

Whoa. Check out the talent, man.

No! Don't!

Oh, miss.

Mademoiselle. Parlez-vous anglais?

Don't, okay? Nothing's that bad. Hold it.

No, no, no, no, no. Please, let me help you.

Okay?

Andy!

The rope!


Ye-ah! Yeah!

Hey.

Hey, he's comin' around.

Thank god. Hey, Andy, can you hear me?

Whoa. Don't move too fast. You might puke or somethin'.

Hey, prince, remember dropping this?

Where is she? Who, cinderella?

It was after midnight, man. She split.

But that rescue, dude, nice grab.

Talk about fallin' for a girl.

Just remember to tie off next time.

God. You saved my life.

Yeah, and you saved hers too.

So we figured we're in for half your points.

That girl... talk about the woman of my dreams.

I think we're losin' him. Nurse! What?

I have to find her. No, you have to get some rest.

But she might try it again. Andy, she's obviously whacked.

The kind of girl jumps off the eiffel tower has issues, man... major issues.

I have to find her. Get real, miss marple.

Look, all we have is a shoe. The note.

Did you pick up the note? She had a note in her hand.

If it's a suicide note, maybe we could go find out who she is!

Okay, we'll find it. Just relax, all right? Here, take your little toy.

Hi.


Oh.

Hey! Hello! It's me!

You forgot this.

Oh, mon dieu! Pardonnez-moi.

Man, that hurts. Did you see a girl?

She's stolen my heart. I know the feeling.

Andy, what happened? Is he all right?

Hey, the girl, she was just here.

Go! Go after her! Come on. Andy, you need to get back into bed, man.

Hurry up. She's gettin' away. Poor guy's hallucinating.

Andy, relax, relax. Relax! Hey!

Andy, look. Good news, man. Yeah.

Ohh.

What's her name again? Serafine, pie-gid“.

Serafine. Serafine pigot. It's a beautiful name.

Are you getting cold feet? Just a bit nervous.

I don't wanna say the wrong thing.

You're on, prince.

Serafine?

Uh, hi.

Uh, it's the guy who, um...

I've got your shoe.

Hi, I'm Andy. We met on the tower.

This is Chris and Brad. And, uh...

Listen, I thought that you would want this.

And, well, it's not my size.

You're very kind. Now, go, please.

You must not stay here.

Charming.

And sophisticated.

Forget about it. Let's go, Andy.

Wait! Did you see what I saw? What?

She had blood on her hands. She's trying it again.

Just so we're on the same page, who's crazier here?

Please go, or there will be trouble.

Uh... no, wait, wait.

What did you do to your hand? Do you have blood on your hand? You're bleeding?

No. I, uh...

It's just paint. I'm redecorating the cellar.

Oh. I thought, uh...

Please, go, now.

Wait. Listen. Hold it. We can help.

We could have that done in no time. Right, guys? - No, thanks.

Thank you. =I...

Please, look. I just wanna talk. I don't think it's a good idea.

Please, just once. If you let me, we'll never bother you again.

Okay. Uh...

Tomorrow, 4:00, in front of the concert hall?

You mean it?

I promise. Now, go, please.

Excellent. I did it.

You mean you almost blew it. Take advice from the experts: You got to play it cool.

First thing we're gonna do is work on your outfit.

Now, okay.

Remember. Eighty percent of all these French girls really go for that macho type.

Whoa, bonin' up on the playboy. Excellent.

Don't show any insecurities. It's the worst. And, uh...

Split. She's comin'. Here. Be prepared.

Wait. Come on, Chris. It's our first date. - Are you a nun?

Be cool, and show attitude.

Serafine.

I didn't recognize you. Oh, yeah. Um... well, it's bright.

What would you like to do? I don't know. Is there a cafe?

We're in Paris.

Oh.

Mademoiselle. Merci.

Monsieur. Merci beaucoup.

So, do your parents mind us, uh, meeting?

My parents are dead.

You okay?

Need some water? No, I'm fine. I do like coffee.

Most guys who ask me on a date are usually trying to get me into bed.

That must be really terrible for a girl when that happens.

Why should I think you're any different?

Isn't that why you brought your friends along?

To witness you score?

No, that's not it at all.

Chewing gum.

It's, uh, the rage in the states.

They take chewing gum. They make it look like condoms.

It's like a practical joke.

Nice.

And chewy.

I want you to blow a big bubble for me.

What?

Well, it's a custom in France.

The bigger the bubble, the more a boy likes a girl.


Wow. What a rip-off.

My friends told me it was chewing gum. I thought...

I think it's best if I go.

No, no, please, don't go. I'm just so nervous.

And the more I like a girl, the more nervous I get.

And if you go now and something happens to you, then I'd blame myself for the rest of my life because I'd blown my chance to help.

The moment I saw you on the tower, I was so moved by your sadness.

I swore to myself I would try to help, whatever it takes.

No one as beautiful and sensitive as you...

Can possibly deserve to be so sad.

Oh, god. I hate myself. I am not the kind of guy you think I am.

If I go, it's nothing to do with you.

No one can help me. And anyone who tries is...

I hope you're not sorry that I saved your life.

It was the sweetest, most courageous...

And selfless thing anyone's ever done for me.

Monsieur, is this yours?

Uh...

Hey, you don't use...

Arretel huh? Hey, don't you lay a finger on her.

Hey, you were somethin' else in there!

I'm sorry. I got carried away.

Oh, no, that guy had it coming to him!

Uh, hey. How did you do that?

That... that guy, he weighed... I don't know. Uh...

Do you... do you work out?

Do you want me to leave?

I guess that means yes.

Wait. Stop.


I have to go now. You mustn't get involved.

Wait. When do I get to see you again?

I don't think we should. Andy, it's only because I care about you.

You have a funny way of showing it.

Relax, man. She's just playing hard to get.

This whole mysterious elusive thing is just a ploy to make her more interesting.

It's not that simple. The way she talks about her parents, it's like she blames herself.

Yeah. She's demented enough. Remember the blood on her hands?

That stunt at the cafe?

It's like she's a black belt or somethin'.

Bonsoir.

Je peux vous aider? Um, we're just...

Americans? Yeah.

I love Americans.

May I help? Uh, yeah. We're looking for serafine.

Sure. But I'm sorry. She's not at home.

Are you her, uh, brother?

Let's just say I...

Look after her.

Okay. Sorry to bother you.

See ya. Let's go, Andy.

Wait.

If you guys are not doing anything later, come to our charity »full moon“ party.

It's for a good cause.

Thanks, anyway, but...

Serafine will be there. Just tell the man at the door Claude sent you.

A little, uh, competition, huh, Andy?

Is this it? Club de la lune.

Club of the loonies. She's here, all right.

Hey, mec. Tu veux entrer faire la fete?

Is he invited?

American. - Yeah, born and bred there, tiny. Friends of Claude.

Okay. Thank you very much.

Merci beaucoup. De rien.


She ain't here, man. - I can't believe she'd be at a dump like this.

Yeah, she's way too centered.

Glad you could come. Enjoy the party.

Merci. Think he's boinkin' her?

Thanks a lot, Brad. I'm gonna go back to the villa, see if she's there.

No, no, no, I'll go. You stay here in case she shows up. - Would you?

Yes. Thanks. I appreciate it.

Serafine?

Hello?

Hello?

Go away!

Gol

what are you doing here? You're askin' me?

Please, stay away. Go now. Don't you wanna get outta here?

Just leave me alone. - Oh, is this some kind of kinky game or something?

Where are your friends?

They're at Claude's party waiting for you. - Party?

Yeah. You know, that... that lunar” thing.

Oh, my god! They're in great danger! Get the key! Over there.

Wait, wait. What kind of danger?

Just leave it to me. - No way. If there's a problem, I'm coming with you.

It's much too dangerous, believe me. Now hold on a second, hot pants.

There's no way that I'm gonna...

Bottoms up.

Americans. You can tell a mile away.


Hello?

Could use a little help over here?

Thanks.

Wait!

I must go in!

Serafine. Is Claude expecting you?

Open the door, quick. I'm not sure I can do that.

Would you rather have me stay out here with you?

No, of course not.

No-ha!

No-ha! No-ha!

We must get out of here quick! Serafine.

What's the matter? Do as you're told.

He's mine, Jack.

Your buddy just scored.

Hey. Slow down.

Depuis quand tu laisses partir mes invites, Jacques?

Viens avec moi.


Damn!

Yes!

Through there, hurry!

Why? Where are we going?

Whoa.

You must go before it's too late! What?

Now? We just got started.

I'll never understand women.

Run! Your life is in danger! Really? Why?

Is Claude your boyfriend? Please, go.

Go. Go.

Damn it, run! Serafine, what's wrong?

What are you doin'?

Run! Run for your life, Andy!


Andy?

Andy? Sounds like the party is just gettin' started up there.


Open the door! Sorry. Members only.

No scum allowed.


Hey. Hey, you okay in there?


Andy?


Brad?

Serafine?

Great. Come to Paris and check out les drains.

Hello?

Hello?


Whoa.


Serafine?


Hey, what the... Shh! Get outta there now!

Wha... why?

There's a mutant in the cellar! A what?

That French girl, she's a freak!

Get outta there, man!

Andy.

You must rest. Lie down.

Hey, what happened last night? How did I get here?

Relax. Let me look at your leg first.

I was attacked...

By this big, wild dog.

It was huge. It had grande yellow eyes, beaucoup teeth and...

Do you have rabies here? You don't have rabies.

That's healing pretty fast.

How long have I been here?

Just a few hours. It's your new metabolism.

Drink this. You'll feel much better. What is that?

It's all natural. Because I hate clamato.

It tastes... different.

Wait, something weird is goin' on here.

I gotta go. Shh.

My friends. You mustn't. Please.

This will relax you, no?

I don't get it.

Last time we met, you threw bricks at me.

Listen.

You're not the same as you used to be. Only since I met you.

Seriously. There's something I have to tell you, but you have to promise me you're not gonna freak out, okay?

No, I'm a rock. Okay.

Um, the injury on your leg, it was not from a dog.

It was... it was a werewolf.

Yeah. I'm serious.

And now you have become one too.

Great. Oh, I get it. I get it.

Not cinderella. Little red riding hood now.

Whatever kinky game you want to play, I am in.

Andy?

Hi.

I was havin' a bad dream, I guess.

Um...

Are you feeling better? No.

I guess I... My hangover's doing fine.

You need to relax, n'est ce pas?

Oh, my god! I thought, uh...

Oh, man. What did they put in those drinks?

You were hallucinating. It's quite normal for the transition period.

Just try to relax, okay? , transition period“?

Mm-hmm.

Wait. Was I dreaming, or did you say I was a werewolf?

It's not a joke.

I told you this would happen. Mummy!

Mummy? Leave it to me, please.

You're making the same mistake again. First Claude, now this. Can't you be more careful?

This is different. Claude stole my blood. Hey.

Um, Mrs. pigot? Um...

Um, I know this looks really kind of... How do you do?

Uh, I can explain.

It's really not her fault. Uh, serafine, could you introduce us?

You wouldn't want to meet me. I'm not as attractive as I used to be.

Oh, come on. I bet you two pass for sisters.

Wait a minute.

Hold it. Didn't you say your mother was dead?

You scared her away! I scared her?

Ha!

That's it. My friends were right: You're nuts.

Nurses with walking corpses stealing hearts...

And monsters and werewolves in the basement and the whole thing with the thing...

Andy, let me explain, please. No, no. You already did.

I don't know what you dosed me with, but I will not be the lab rabbit...

For some psychotic experiment.

All right, just stay away from me. Let me out! - You must drink this.

It's the only thing that will help you. Not freakin' likely.

You should do as she says.

Andy, hold on! Andy, hold on! Wait a second!

Where are you going, American?

Shh.

I love Americans.


Hey, vous! Ne passes pas!

No.

Please, no!

Friend of yours?

I'm inspector leduc. Homicide.

Do you take drugs, Mr., mucdermott“?

It's mcdermott.

No, I don't take drugs.

What really happened down there?

Why does almost every corpse have its heart missing?

Ritual sacrifices? Are you the member of a sect?

I didn't see. I was chased... by a big thing.

Um, some kind of wild animal.

Test this man for drugs.

Huh!


I said rare, bloody.

You understand?

That'll do...

While I wait.


Hi. Um...

No. La bottle.

Whoo. Whoa. I'm sorry.

American?

Yeah.

Uh, Andy mcdermott.

Amy Finch.

And that's, uh... Hot kitty you're wearing.

Wow. You want some food?

Excuse me. Gar-kon!

Monsieur?

Le hooch de jour.

I believe it's pronounced pouilly fuisse.

Um, hello.

Are you getting fresh on me?

I'm sorry.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not normally like this, honest.

Right.

No, I'm serious.

The truth is I lost my best friend today.

Bon apetit.

You're dead! I saw them pull you out of the canal!

No, monsieur, the Atlantic.

Whoa! Get away from me!

Pull yourself together, Andy. We have to talk.

Talk? Talk! Wait, you're not real!

All right, let me go!

Did you see...

Oh! What do you want?

Oh, sh...

This is a bad dream.

Right? You're not here.

Are you? Andy, you were bitten.

You're already changing.

You would've never looked twice at that bimbo in there.

All right, I may be upset...

Or screwed up right now, but I'm not a wolf!

Andy, I'm dead serious.

Dead?

That's funny. That's really funny.

,un-dead, “ actually.

Cursed to walk the earth as a restless spirit...

Till the werewolf that did me dies.

What do you want from me? What I want from you can wait.

Dump the chick and lock yourself up.

And do it quick. The moon's rising.

You're just jealous 'cause I'm about to score.

You know, you can't just pop up and tell me what to do.

I don't even know why I'm listening to you.

I know you're dead and so do the police.

Mmm.

Ooh, come here.

Want some? Come here. Ooh.

Hey!

The night is young. The moon is bright.

What do you feel like doing tonight, tiger?

Hey, hey! Attends! Attends!

Qu'est-ce qu'on fait la-bas? C'est mon ble la-bas.!

Are you kidding me?

I love Jim Morrison. Yes.

Come on.


Oh!

Oh, my god.

= you're an animal.

Oh!

Ah! You're hot.

Oh, you're burning hot.

Hey!

Where are you going?

Hey, you forgot your pants, Romeo!

Amy, what have you gotten yourself into... again?

Always with these-these head cases.

I mean, who do you have to sleep with to get a decent guy into bed?

Just maybe somebody to sleep in the wet spot for a change?

Maybe somebody to notice my hair?

Huh?

Andy?


Wait! Stop! I am policeman.

Oh, thank god.

Oh, you cured my hiccups.


Hey, what's goin' on? Mcdermott, you are under arrest.

What for?

The possibilities are limitless. Take him away.

Elle est la.

Oh, my god. That's not all.

Detective Ben bou. I had him follow you. This some kind of sick joke?

Wait here a moment.

Thanks for a lovely evening, douche bag.

You really know how to show a girl a good time, don't you?

No, no, no, nol!

You're dead! No! I ain't so lucky. I'm, un-dead.” And as your rotting sidekick, I am cursed to remain a restless spirit until you die.

Not so fast.

If you want my buddy dead, nut ball, you're gonna have to wait. I need him first.

He's no use to me as a corpse.

Spent four years on stairmaster to get a package like this. You ripped it like a lamb chop.

Don't blame me, Andy. I warned you.

Wait. You mean, you knew this all along? Oh!

Hey, keep it down out there!

A guy can't rest in pieces around here.

I'm losing my freaking skull. Come on. Pull yourself together, Andy.

You gotta get outta here. The cops wanna put you away for life.

I've had enough of your ridiculous theories. The man is dangerous.

Lock him up!

Mcdermott, you're...

I didn't choose to become a werewolf.

I can't face eating people the rest of my life.

Better get used to it.

Isn't there any way that I can become human again?

Yeah, there is, but you're not gonna like it.

Tell me. How?

First, find the werewolf that bit you.

Then kill it.

Then eat out its heart.

What?

But that means...

Serafine?

L... no way.

Andy, look out!

What did you do that for? 'Cause I still need him.

He's gonna help kill the guy who did this to me. - I feel sick.

All of this would be over right now if you hadn't opened your fat trap.

You are the most egocentric corpse I've ever met.

Listen, I don't know what kind of friend this jerk is to you, but he ate my spleen.

So, hey. You guys are werewolves too, huh?

Super.

Glad to know ya. Andy.

I don't think you have accepted the gift that has been given to you...

Or much less appreciated it.

We have a mission, Andy: To purify the world.

That's why we pick our victims from the scum of society.

The governments of the world spent billions on medicine, welfare, charity.

To what effect?

It only keeps alive the weak, the stupid, the lazy, who breed and multiply, weakening the human race.

All my men, I have chosen...

For their loyalty, their dedication to the coming age.

But you...

You were not to have been.

You were an accident, an anomaly.

I do not wish to kill you.

I pray you will join us in our rise to become the new mankind.

Pure, free of disease.

Free from the trappings of technological advance.

Will you join us, Andy?

I don't know. That's, you know... That's a big decision.

Mm-hmm. - I'm gonna need some time to think about that.

Sure.

Andy?

Well, what's that for? Kill him, Andy.

Cut out his heart.

Wait. Couldn't we just...

Release him, Andy.

Join us.

You can't ask me to do this.

Join us. I'd rather die.

And so you shall.


Andy!

Serafine!

Down there.

Keep going.


Jump! But Chris...

Jump!

Follow me.


What? Did you know?

What is it? Did you know what he plans to do?

Yes, I did. And you did nothing to stop him?

Andy, I... - How in god's name could you just stand by...

For god's sake! Stop it! We may have a cure.

Thierry, my stepfather.

Claude? No.

You?

And my mother too.

For a time, I had managed not to harm anyone.

Even the hearts my mother smuggled from the hospital were from the dead.

Two months ago, he was sure he had discovered...

A serum to suppress my lycanthropic cycle.

Only it had the reverse effect.

I immediately transformed.

My mother heard the noise from upstairs, and Thierry tried to escape through the underground.

When I came to, I saw I had butchered my own parents.

Now do you see why I was trying to kill myself?

It's not your fault.

Don't worry about me. It's Chris who has problems.

We gotta get him out of there.

Claude is a bastard.


Oh, brother, just who I need.

Check the cellar!

Leave him alone, Claude.

Out the back! Quick!

I warn you. Don't interfere again.


Yoo-hoo! He's over here!

Cut it out.

Hey, he's hiding by the car!

Qu'est-ce qui se passe la? He... he's getting away!

Fools! Get over here!

Ah, c'est toi, le chauffeur! - I say, steady on, old man. I never touched your car.

Oh, oh. Great.


Sera... Hurry up!

Serafine.

The cure. If he dies, we have no hope.

Serafine, it's... he's gone.

Let it go.

No. Yes.

They killed him, the bastards.

What do we do now?

Well, let me have a shot at it.

But they ruined the lab. So many years of hard work.

Did your stepfather leave any notes?

There.

What does that represent?

A werewolf's biorhythm...

And how it's governed by the cycles of the moon.

Thierry tried to keep me below the transformation threshold...

By injecting me with a depressant.

And it had a reverse effect.

Yeah. All right.

Just so I'm totally clear here, with this drug, you can induce a transformation at any time of the month?

Oh, my god. The samples. He left them in the cupboard.

Over there.

Mon die...

Oh, brother.

Good luck.

Hey, hey, what's up?

Hey, man.

Mm. Sorry, we are full.

This building is closed. Who gave you a permit for this party?

Ask the boss... inside.


There he is! Arrest that man!

Listen to me! It's important!

You're all in great danger! You have to leave the building now!

It's a trap! I'm serious!

Please, listen to me!

No! Skinheads are planning a massacre!

No! Stop!

You have to leave the building!

All right, all right, all right. All right.


Hey! Hey! Hey! Open that door!

Welcome, Americans, to our independence party!

I love you, Americans!

What great taste you have.

Every man on the planet...

Must take every opportunity to show his gratitude.

Because you share your culture and resolutions with the whole world, spreading it to all other nations, influencing all other cultures...

And touching the hearts of millions.

Now I wish to share something... With you.

I dedicate this party to all you Americans, whose heart I wish to touch in return.

Let the show begin.

Chris!

Stop them! Stop them! Enough!

Stop them! You are all under arrest!

The party is over!

Everybody else, go home!

Inspector!

Come on. Come on!

Come on. Move. Move!

Allez! Quoi?


Send for reinforcements! We got a massacre!

Stop or I'll shoot!


Allez-y!

Serafine!

I'll show you.

Claude went down that trap door.

It's true. Look. Huge creatures covered in hair. Look.

Huh? That's impossible.

Just what I said... drugs.

Brad!

Andy, you got him.

Whoo-hoo! You shot him!

I'm gonna miss you, Andy. Me too. - I'm so sorry.

Come on. I'm over it. Good luck, you guys.

It's that lunatic! Stop them!

I didn't say shoot them.

Go that way. I'll meet you on the other side.

Each take a corridor.

If you need help, whistle.


Merde!

Andy!


Serafine. Oh, my god! Oh!

Just hang in there, okay. I'm gonna get you outta here.

Oh, Andy.

I won't make it. Huh? Don't quit on me now.

Stop the pain, please.

I can't.

Eat my heart, Andy.

Let yourself go.

Serafine, I'd rather kill myself.

For both of us then.

It hurts so much. Please.

Please.

We'll be free.

Police! Qui va la?

Hurry, while you still can, please.

He's trying to kill her. I love you.

Drop the knife! Please.

No, I can't.

Listen, let them help you. Everything'll be okay. I promise.

Stop, or I shoot!

I gotta get Claude! He's the last one!


Oh, man.

Idiot.

Oh, geez.


We're losing her.

We're losing her. - Okay. Pepsulin 190. Eight milliliter. Hurry up.


You!

Oh!


Andy, you're wonderful.

I love you.

Je t'aime.

My name is Bruno, actually, but I'm easy.

Are you sure you want to go through with this? - Mm-hmm.

Are you scared? A little.

Guys, someone's comin'. Let's do it.

Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Quick.

Give me the ring. Oh, okay.

Okay.

I got it. No, I got it!


Yeah!

No!

Andy!