Athena (1954) Script

Take it easy, Girls! Plenty of time. Go to your seats.

Slow down! Slow down, will ya!

You'll see him, you'll hear him!

You can even even touch him, but don't hurry!

Sit down now, Girls, there'll be no autographs until after the show.

Sit down now, please, sit down!

♪ The moment I saw her smile, ♪

♪ I knew she was just my style. ♪

♪ but it's clear to see ♪

♪ there's no hope for me. ♪

♪ Though I live at 51-35 Kennsington Avenue ♪

♪ and she lives at 51-33. ♪

♪ How can I ignore the girl next door? ♪

♪ I love her more than I can say. ♪

♪ Doesn't try to please me, ♪

♪ doesn't even tease me, ♪

♪ and she never sees me glance her way. ♪

♪ And though I'm heart sore the girl next door, ♪

♪ affection for me won't display. ♪

♪ I just adore her, ♪

♪ so I can't ignore her, ♪

♪ the girl next door. ♪

♪ I just adore her, ♪

♪ so I can't ignore her, ♪

♪ the girl next door. ♪

Thanks, Scotty. Thanks, Kids, that was fine.

Now, remember I want you all here by 8:30 Tuesday night.

You're on the air at 9:00. Thanks again.

You are Johnny Nyle, aren't you? Yes, I am.

It's such a pleasure to come face to face with you at last.

The pleasure's all mine.

I'm glad you feel that way, this is for you.

Autograph?

That won't be necessary, it's a subpoena.

A subpoena?

Hey!

I don't want it!

I'm sorry, Mr. Nyle, but without an appointment, you can't see Mr. Shaw.

But I only got this 20 minutes ago.

I mean business, Miss Seely. I want to be a client.

He has a client. Who referred you to Mr. Shaw?

I was in the Navy with The Lieutenant. So were several million others.

Look, it's not gonna hurt you to ask him, will it?

Just tell Papi Shaw that Gunner's Mate, 3rd. Class, Johnny Nyle is out here to see him and in mighty, big trouble.

Please smile for the next one, Mr. Shaw. I was smiling.

Okay, but make it a big one for the next one, show your teeth.

I'm not selling toothpaste, I'm running for Congress.

C'mon, Adam, give 'em a big smile.

I have great respect for your political wisdom, Mr. Tremaine, but I will not pose like this.

Thank you, Mr. Shaw, thank you, Gentlemen.

Now, wait a minute!

You have to co-operate with the press more, Adam What's the matter with you, don't you want to get elected?

I most certainly do, Mr. Tremaine.

My family has had a long and distinguished record in public life.

My grandfather was governor of Massachusetts, Father was a senator.

But they did not get there by back-slapping and kissing babies.

And they had an advantage that you don't have, they didn't look as young as you do.

You know, you're a difficult candidate to put across.

All we had was your background and your war record.

It's very impressive, but I'd rather have a picture of you with a wife and kids.

Perhaps you and Beth can get married during the campaign, Adam.

Nothing ages a man like marriage, Adam.

Thanks, but I doubt if we could arrange to have a family in time for the election.

What is it, Miss Seely? There is a Mr. Nyle outside.

Has he an appointment?

No, Sir.

Then I can't see him. Anything else?

Yes, the nursery called and said if those peach trees are dead, it's your fault.

No such thing! Find out how late they're open today.

I'll buy you a million peach trees, c'mon, let's talk about the campaign.

First things first, this is a matter of principle with me.

There is no fiduciary feeling in trade anymore, no tradition, no standards.

We've become a nation of fools, faddists, and fakes.

Well, it sounds very snappy, but what makes you think the public will understand it?

You take my advice, Adam, practice smiling.

You coming, Wendell?

You do have a nice personality, Adam.

And fine teeth. Thank you.

Well, Miss Seely, what is it?

That Mr. Nyle, it's Gunner's Mate, 3rd Class Johnny Nyle.

He said to tell Papi Shaw he's in big trouble.

Oh, that Nyle.

Yes, improvident type, probably broke. Show him in.

Hello, Lieutenant. Hello, Johnny, good to see you.

In trouble? Um-huh.

How much? Thirty thousand dollars worth.

Johnny, we don't handle criminal cases.

Oh, it's not like that.

This guy used to be my agent, he never got me work, so I fired him, got myself another agent that got me work.

Now the first agent comes back in the picture and wants the usual ten percent.

I see, the usual...

You earned three hundred thousand dollars? Um-huh.

Now, let's start from the beginning, what did you do to earn all this money?

These are by δΘΣτΘP⌠ß⌠Θ which is Greek to me.

I sing in television, radio, records, night clubs.

You get all that money singing?

I guess you wouldn't call it singing, I'm a... a crooner.

There ought to be a law against that.

It's no joke, look, I got a television show, a nightclub appearance and a recording date, and this piece of paper says I can't work.

You just gotta help me, Lieutenant.

Our practice is limited to estates, trusts, corporate problems.

However, from what you tell me, it does seem terribly unfair.

Of course, I'd need more than your word. Do you have anything in writing?

I've saved every scrap of paper.

Good, then collect them together and bring them to my house at five o'clock.

Miss Seely.

Yes.

Give Mr. Nyle my home address, and no more calls today, please.

I'm going out about those peach trees.

I've sold thousands of peach trees, from the same stock as yours and there's been one complaint.

Every one of them is alive and healthy. Mine are dead.

Are you sure? Stone cold.

Who told you so? My gardener, an expert.

Pardon me, do you mind terribly if I tap your sassafras tree?

I'm not sure this is the right time of the year.

I'd be the last one to harm a sassafras tree.

Now then, the matter of the peach trees.

If they're really dead, we'll give you credit and have them replaced.

That's very fair of you. Thank you, Mr. Benevuchi.

Perhaps you haven't lost them.

Peaches are snobs, they just love to have their appetites piqued.

You need a good mulching. I? A mulching?

Uh-huh, oh, it's very simple.

Just give them a nourishing mixture then soak, and those peach trees will sit up and sing all pink and white like a bride's maid.

I'd like to see mine do that but I'm afraid I'm not very good at mulching.

I'll be very happy to help you.

How very kind of you, are you a professional gardener?

Ah! no, I'm a numerologist.

You don't believe in it, do you?

I don't know much about it.

Well, it's a science of numbers, older than Confucius.

My grandmother says, "If you know the numbers, you know the man."

Everyone has his very own number.

Have I one? Tell me your name and I'll tell you.

Adam Calhorn Shaw.

You're a Four. Day and month of birth, please.

November 26th. That figures-out to Four, too.

I'm a Six. Is that good?

Oh! Excellent. Fours and Sixes go together, like... well... Aucassin was Four and Nicolette was Six.

Hero was a Six and Leander was a Four. See what I mean?

Hey! Wait a minute!

Wait a minute, I mustn't spill this, it's precious stuff What do you use it for?

Oh, this is Grandpa’s sassafras cure he got from an old Indian.

There's never been a Ute with arthritis. Did you know that?

I've never know any Utes. Is your grandfather a pharmacist?

But you can't market medicine without a license.

Are you a detective? No, I'm a lawyer.

Good day, Miss. But I thought I could mulch your trees.

Some other time.

Oh my... I'm sorry, but we can't ever mulch together.

Well, if we can't, we can't.

But I'm curious to know why you've changed your mind.

Nine. It's obvious that a Four man and a Three month of a Nine car has no place with a Six girl.

Goodbye, Mr. Shaw.

You've convinced me, goodbye and thank you.

Roy! Roy! I'm home!

Good evening, Sir. Any calls?

No calls.

Good! Would you get me some ice please I could use a drink.

Would a Martini do, Darling?

Beth!

What a pleasant surprise.

I'm not late or anything, am I, we... we didn't have an appointment did we?

Not until eight tonight.

I've been tooting around all afternoon and I felt I had to have a drink otherwise I couldn't make it home.

One mustn't gulp Martinis. That one was purely medicinal.

Have you have any idea what happens when a Four man in a Three month runs into a Six woman when he has a Nine car?

And did you know peach trees are snobs? Adam, you're out of your mind.

I'm merely quoting. I ran into a numerologist today and that's what she told me.

I couldn't get rid of her.

Fortunately my license added up to something dismal and I escaped.

Excuse me, Sir, a lady to see you.

This is the young lady I was speaking about.

You really shouldn't be here, you know, remember about the fours and sixes and things?

Mr. Benevuchi told me you have five peach trees which siphons you off and makes your system fluid.

You're really neuter. Isn't that heaven?

Neuter, that's some new description.

This is my fiancée, Miss Hallson, and this is...

Athena Mulvain.

Roy, if you'll just show Miss Mulvain where the peach trees are she can get on with her mulching and be home before dark.

Yes, Sir, but it's a waste of time, the trees are dead.

Oh, Roy, you must be a Two Man, you're so pessimistic.

When were you born. August 18, 1928.

On the nose! But don't worry, next month is just great for twos.

Now if I may just have some watermelon rinds, wax paper and fish heads, I'll get to work.

Wouldn't you prefer a cocktail?

Oh, no, I need them for mulching.

If I may just have a spading fork and trowel.

Watakushi wa anata u suki desu o tomodashi ni narimashou, Roy-san.

You speak Japanese? I can say, "I love you, let us be friends."

I can say it in fifty-four different languages, and I'm working on African dialects.

I'm sure that's going to come in very handy.

Well, according to Grandpa, we should learn to like everybody in the world.

Well, I must say, you go about it in a... a very unusual way.

Oh, this is an interesting house.

It's an decayed kind of architecture and thoroughly impractical.

If you'll just tear out that whole side and put in a window, you'll bring the outside in.

When I had this house built I told the architect to keep the outside out.

Oh, you have screens. Doesn't everybody?

Oh, no, it stops the air circulating.

My sister Madea believes that flies and moths stir up the air and it's unnatural to keep them out.

And you really should get rid of those rugs... they're wool.

Wool's from sheep... that's animal matter.

My sister Aphrodite says it's very unhealthy to have in the house.

Will these do, Miss. Oh! Perfectly.

You will excuse me, won't you? I'm so happy to have met you.

You have such a lovely figure. Why, thank you.

But you really shouldn't wear a girdle. It's not a girdle, it's a foundation garment.

Your spine doesn't know the difference, it's all pinched in.

Sooner or later you're going to have trouble with a loose disk.

You seem to have trouble with a loose tongue.

Oh, I am sorry, I always say things I think and I shouldn't.

Forgive me? I may say I will, but I won't.

Roy, what did she say in Japanese?

I love you, let us be friends. Funny thing, Mr. Shaw... she speaks Japanese with a Spanish accent.

I think I'd better have another drink.

How about you?

Thank you, I've got to dash. Now remember, pick me up at eight.

♪ Life is fun if you vocalize, ♪

♪ Full of sun if you vocalize, ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Do, ♪

♪ It's my credo. ♪

♪ Lift your voice to the highest skies, ♪

♪ You'll rejoice in the exercise, ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Do, ♪

♪ Sing fortissimo. ♪

♪ La-la-la la-la-la, ♪

♪ Warm up just like the birds, ♪

♪ La-la-la la-la-la, ♪

♪ You don't need any words. ♪

♪ Try a scale in the key of C, ♪

♪ It's as easy as it can be, ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Me, ♪

♪ Why not get wise and vocalize? ♪

♪ Be you tenor or baritone, ♪

♪ or not even aware of tone, ♪

♪ or if you're stone tone deaf ♪

♪ in the bass or the treble clef, ♪

♪ I advise you. ♪

♪ Get wise you! ♪

♪ Vocalize! ♪

Well, I've mulched. Oh, splendid, I... I'll...

May I kiss you?

Grandma was right.

Hey! Watch it! You'll get killed!

Not today, not possibly. I'm glad to hear it.

You're much to pretty to get scratched up.

Won't do you any good to talk like that.

Too late, I'm gonna marry Adam Shaw.

The Old Johnny Nyle Luck... late again.

Johnny Nyle? Um-huh.

When were you born. July 18.

Minerva. No, Pittsburg.

No, I mean my sister Minerva.

I have six sisters and you'll like them all, but... it's Minerva, all right. Are they anything like you?

Oh, I'm the Ugly Ducking. That's good enough for me.

When do I meet your sister? Well, I'm going to see her right now.

You're right smack in Minerva's orbit, I told her about you.

You can do better than that.

Pop these in the mailbox, hop in the car, and we can both tell her about me.

Oh, Aphrodite, would you get me a bottle, I have Grandpa's sassafras juice.

Hi, Mrs. Smith. Hello, Athena.

Well, that's everything, Mrs. Smith. Yogurt, black strap molasses, spinach juice and shredded parsnips.

Oh, Mrs. Smith, how do you fix those?

We make a soufflé with horseradish tops and coconut milk... the kids just love it.

Oh, it sounds delicious.

Here you are. Bye, Girls.

Bye. ... to Grandpa and Grandma.

Hello, may I help you? Is this the one?

Yeah, that's the one. Minerva this is Johnny Nyle, Hi. Are you the Johnny Nyle who's on television?

That's right, but I'm much nicer in person.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself selling beer.

Grandpa says drinking alcohol is like swallowing a dead toad.

Well... well, that was last month, I don't work for them anymore.

Oh, well, I'm certainly glad to hear that.

This week's show is for Webson's Meat Products.

Cannibal! Well, I don't eat their stuff.

Don't apologize, just remember money you get that way will do you no good.

Are you sure this is the one? Minerva, you're not being fair.

After all, Johnny hasn't had the advantages you've had. With the proper training...

Sure! That's all I need... a helping hand, a friendly smile, the love of a good woman.

And a great deal of work with Grandpa. They all need work.

Take mine for example. Yes, how is he?

Very sweet and very attractive.

His name is Adam Shaw.

Of course he has a lot of strange ideas, but I think it'll work out.

Sure you've got the right one?

Of course, it happened just like Grandma said.

It all figured... and I think Grandpa'll be able to work wonders with him.

Well if Grandpa can do anything with this one, nothing's impossible.

Look, this is probably none of my business, but is there something wrong with me that I ought to know about?

Just hold the good thoughts.

Hiya, Girls!

Hi, Bill!

Hiya, Minerva. Hi.

Saw the store open kinda late, any trouble?

Oh, no, Bill, but it's awfully sweet of you to ask.

We were just closing up.

Oh, Bill, if you have a moment, would you take these walnuts back to the storeroom?

Who was that? Bill Nichols, a special friend of mine.

Were those his own muscles? Oh, anybody can do what he did.

Don't bet on it. Thanks, Bill.

Oh, it's all right, I'll see you up on the hill after supper.

Okay, bye.

Goodbye.

I guess between a guy like that and a guy like me, anybody'd rather have a guy like that.

Well, muscles aren't everything, sometimes it's personality, and the way a fella smiles.

Can I see you tonight, smiling all the time?

Oh, I'd like it, and besides Grandpa oughta to see you.

Well, if he's used to fellas like that, I'm liable to be a shock to him.

Oh, after we get done with you, you'll be a shock to yourself.

Gee! Imagine!

♪ Imagine you're an apple, a big red apple, ♪

♪ sittin' on the top of a tree. ♪

♪ If I came along, at just the right minute, ♪

♪ you might just fall for me. ♪

♪ Imagine you're a willow, a weeping willow, ♪

♪ weeping for some rain from the blue. ♪

♪ If I were a cloud with lots of rain in it, ♪

♪ I might fall for you. ♪

♪ Imagine that I'm the ocean, imagine that you're the shore, ♪

♪ I'd grant you a damp devotion, ♪

♪ I'd pour it before you were four... I adore you. ♪

♪ Imagine you're a flower, a full blown flower, ♪

♪ Imagine I'm a rather fresh bee, ♪

♪ If I came along at just the right minute, ♪

♪ You'd be sweet to me. ♪

♪ As sweet as honey to me. ♪

♪ Honey? ♪

♪ Imagine I'm a spider, a big, black spider, ♪

♪ Imagine you're a very small fly. ♪

♪ If you came along at just the wrong minute, ♪

♪ Kiss. Bye. Goodbye. ♪

♪ Image you're a weevil, and old boll weevil, ♪

♪ Suppose the field of cotton is me, ♪

♪ If you came along and settled down in it, ♪

♪ Fetch the D.D.T. ♪

♪ I'm a flame, you're a moth that's spinning. ♪

♪ Around me you whirl and turn. ♪

♪ Prepare for your final inning, ♪

♪ I'll spurn you, whirl you, I guess that'll learn you. ♪

♪ Imagine we're a couple, a shipwrecked couple, ♪

♪ Together on an island for two, ♪

♪ Hey! If you were the one and only man in it, ♪

♪ I'd be cold to you, as cold as winter to you. ♪ May I kiss you now?

Grandma was right.

Good morning, Sir. Good morning, Roy, beautiful day.

Am I hearing what I'm hearing?

Arrived a little before seven with wax paper, watermelon rind, and fish heads.

Miss Mulvain. Miss Mulvain!

Miss Mulvain! Miss Mulvain!!

Good morning, Adam. That's a matter of opinion.

I want to talk to you very seriously. Now sit down, and don't interrupt.

Miss Mulvain, this nonsense has gone too far.

I was prepared to humor you yesterday, but you're taking advantage of it.

I will not have it.

Just as the charts say, it's a creature of moods... now fierce, now gentle.

You're just as you should be, Adam darling.

Mulching again?

I left my glasses in your car last night. I'll get them.

Don't let me interrupt. Oh, you're not interrupting.

Anything Adam has to say to me, you can hear.

How cozy. What I have to say to Adam is better said in private.

And alone. Well, all right.

But according to the charts, it's a waste of time.

Now, look here Beth, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, you're dead wrong.

She just came here... If you saying "mulch" again, I'll scream.

I come here at eight o'clock in the morning and find you having breakfast with a very attractive young lady.

And all I want to know is, how long has this "mulching" been going on?

I resent the insinuation. When you came in I was just about the tell her not to come here again.

I was being very firm about it. Is that why she called you "Darling"?

Why, Beth, you're jealous.

Well, don't look so smug about it.

Well, it's very flattering.

But don't worry, I'll... I'll settle this matter once and for all.

When you're decisive, Adam, you're very attractive.

Miss Mulvain. Miss Mulvain!

Miss Mulvain left.

Well, ah, she knew I wanted to speak to her, did she say anything?

No message, Sir, if that's what you mean.

Just: Watakushi wa anata u suki desu o tomodashi ni narimashou, Roy-san.

And then she said, "I'll be seeing you."

Is this the Saccharin Mulvain residence? Is a Miss Athena Mulvain there?

Sorry, I must have the wrong party... again.

How about it, Miss Seely, let's not take all day.

Do you realize how many Mulvains there are in this town?

I have just finished the list, and there is no Athena Mulvain.

There has to be, I've seen her.

Call the Registrar of Voters, get a City Directory.

Oh, Adam, I just talked to Tremaine. Who?

Tremaine.

Oh! Oh, yes, yes.

Mr. Griswalde's office.

What's the matter with you?

Sorry.

Had something fried for breakfast, it just kills me.

Tremaine wants you to give a speech next week for the Massachusetts Club.

Uh, nothing special, just a few Down-East, New England type jokes.

But don't knock California.

Is it all right if I sail-in on a whaling ship wearing sports shirt and slacks?

That's good! Put it in the speech.

Yes, Miss Seely.

Mr. Johnny Nyle to see you.

All right, send him in. And how are you doing on that other matter?

The best I can, but remember I'm a secretary, not a detective.

Just find the girl.

I know you're busy Lieutenant, but just one question.

Is it okay for me to work or not?

Oh, Johnny, I forgot all about it, I'm so sorry.

It's the first time anything like that's happened to me.

It's that I've got that TV show tomorrow night.

I'll post a bond and fix a date for the hearing, you'll be all set.

I feel like a new man. Thanks a million.

Sorry.

Hey, not bad, no bad at all.

My fiancée. You and her?

It's all right, Johnny, I'm a big boy now.

Yes, I know, but what about Athena?

Athena, what's she got to do with it?

Athena!! How do you know about her?

Well, I picked her up at your house yesterday and drove her to the store and then home.

She told me you two were getting married, then she told me...

Married! When I find her, I...

You say you drove her home, well, what's the phone number?

Oh, they don't believe in telephones. Telephones are not a matter of faith.

Don't argue with me, argue with Grandpa.

He doesn't believe in telephones.

Well, what's the address?

You mean you're gonna marry a girl and you don't even know where she lives?

I'm not going to marry her!

When I find out where she lives, she'll wish she didn't.

Now, where is the place? Well, you know, Highcastle Road?

Well, you go straight up right to the very end.

And when you get to the very end, you go another half a mile, you can't miss it.


Excuse me, I'm looking for Athena Mulvain.

Excuse me, I'm looking...

You must be Adam Shaw. We're Athena's sisters.

Niobe, Medea, Ceres, Calliope, Aphrodite, I'm Minerva.

Well... How do you like our dance?

Quite nice. Not too fussy.

I know very little about it...

But, I do know that if you don't put on more clothes, you'll either get pneumonia or get arrested or both.

Now do you mind telling me where I can find Athena?

In the house. Thank you.

Pneumonia... how old fashioned.


Come in. You must be Adam Shaw.

Yes, I am.

According to the stars, you're fifteen minutes late, Boy.

Come here, I'm Athena's grandfather.

Oh, how do you do, Sir. If I might see Athena for a moment...

She's busy in the kitchen.

Generally, Grandma tends to that, but she...

By the way, did you see Grandma on the way up?

If you mean rather an elderly woman, in a strange costume.

Yes, well, that's Grandma, she's in one of her Silences.

Grandma always retires inside herself whenever she's got a problem.

I'm sorry she has a problem, but...

Oh, you're the problem, Boy. Do you mind taking off your shirt?

I most certainly do.

Well, that's just as well, I couldn't make a full check-up now anyhow.

I tell you what you do, you report to my gym Monday Four o'clock, don't drink any water. Athena'll tell you where it is.

Say, that's fine.

The minute you walked in here I liked the look of your sartorius muscle, Boy.

It's a man's pinnings that count, Boy.

Mr. Mulvain, I came here to see Athena and your opinion of my pinnings is of no importance whatsoever.

Not important? Say, it's vital.

Athena's old enough now to get married and have children. You've got a duty, you know.

A duty to the next generation.

The next generation of my family does not involve Athena.

I have made other plans.

Plan 'til you're blue in the face, the stars say different, Boy.

And stop calling me "Boy". I'm a full grown, mature man.

Well now, that's open to discussion.

How old would you say I am?

In your fifties and certainly old... Oh, look here, Boy.

I'm seventy-eight. Wait a minute.

I can do that 200 times. Come here, let me show you something else.

Oh! Out of this room have come some of the most perfect physical specimens in all the world.

But we reach the peak of perfection, the very climax, a week from Thursday.

Numbers or stars? Oh, neither one, Boy.

At the Auditorium they're going to pick next year's Mr. Universe.

Athena'll take you there. One of these boys is going to be Mr. Universe.

This is Ed Perkins.

Is this the guy that... Wait a minute now, Boy, no excitement.

Take it easy. Take it easy, Boy.

Ed, keep your mind a blank.

Come here.

Mr. Nichols, Mr. Shaw. How do you do?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No excitement, you know.

Take it easy. That's a boy. Dead dog.

You've seen pictures of before and after, haven't you? Well, this is before.

Johnny! Hi, Lieutenant.

Please don't breathe a word about this. If my sponsors hear about this, I'm dead.

Whoa, Boy, Whoa now, take it easy, Son, we gotta get that poison outta your system.

Well, now, relax, Boy, relax.

Hello! There's the dinner bell.

Now you boys rise slowly and count five between each movement as you dress, and then join us. Come on, Boy, Athena'll be in the dining hall.

Come on, come on along with me.

Hey, Ed, who's the dude?

A friend of Athena's, no muscle tone. No muscle, period.

Hey, it seems we're getting a new class of people around here.

Yeah, please.

You'll join us for dinner, of course. Thank you, no.

The minute I laid eyes on you, Boy, I knew you were a man of principle.

You... when you get an idea, you stick to it.

And you'll get some pretty strong ideas.

My idea now is to settle things with Athena.

Good for you!

Well, we get some pretty strong ideas, too. We believe in the direct approach.

Maybe that's why so people think we're nutty as fruit cakes.

What's your opinion?

Frankly, Mr. Mulvain, I'm on the side of the majority.

Good for you! No mealy mouth hypocrisy, you speak the truth.

Well, so do I. Let me have a look at you.

Oh, My Boy, that belt is choking you to death.

That collar's too tight.

Wait a minute, you... you've got a complexion like an old, leather wallet.

I'd say you got poison in you. Oh, you're a mess, Boy.

I... I beg your pardon!

Boy, it's not necessary, I'm not offended.

Now I'll tell you about some of my ideas...

When I was twenty, they told me I was gonna die, but Grandma wouldn't hear of that, oh, no, not Grandma.

So, we went off to a cabin and we took off our clothes and we sat in the sun.

We drank the crystal waters of the brook and we "et" nuts and berries.

What makes you think more than normal procedures wouldn't have helped you, huh?

Oh, I don't know if they would, I don't know if they wouldn't.

All I know is, here I am, better than new.

I believe in results, Boy. Come on inside.

May I speak to you for a just moment... privately?

Oh, no, no, not yet. He's gonna stay for dinner, Honey.

It's our custom here to have a cheerful little song before mealtime.

Keeps you smiling way down here.

Starts the digestive juices runnin'.

What I have to say won't take very long.

Well, not yet. We're all here.

We can't upset our schedule.

You think we're all gonna get indigestion just because you're impatient?

Let's have a rollickin' song, Honey.

Something with a lot of zoom, zoom, zoom in it.

I don't sing very well, but I great on the zoom, zoom, zoom.

I can hardly wait.

♪ Life is fun if you harmonize, ♪

♪ Full of sun if you harmonize, ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Do, ♪

♪ It's my credo. ♪

♪ Lift your voice to the highest skies, ♪

♪ You'll rejoice in the exercise. ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Do, ♪

♪ Sing fortissimo. ♪

♪ La-la-la la-la-la, ♪

♪ Warm up just like the birds. ♪

♪ La-la-la la-la-la, ♪

♪ You don't need any words. ♪

♪ Try a scale in the key of C, ♪

♪ It's as easy as it can be. ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Me, ♪

♪ Why not get wise and harmonize? ♪

May I speak to Athena now?

Now look here, Boy, I'm gonna have to ask you to sit down, you're making me nervous.

I haven't been nervous for 58 years and I don't like it.

Peanut burger, try one, I made them myself?

If you don't mind, the whole idea depresses me.

He probably wants roast beef, he's the kinda guy that like to eat animals.

What are you trying to do, suffocate us?

Hey! That stuff is slow poison. Why would an intelligent dope want to commit suicide?

Just a minute, Boys, if Mr. Shaw wants to commit suicide, that's his business.

Only I prefer you don't do it in my house.

I'm sorry, it's just a matter of habit.

Grandma's up!

And so am I! I came here to see Athena, I'm going to see her now!

Do I see her here or outside?

Look out, Boy, your face is getting flushed. That comes from eating too much meat.

If people would only eat sensible foods like nuts and berries, they'd behave more like plants and flowers than like animals.

I admit that people behave like animals, but I doubt that it's a matter of diet. The plain truth is people are animals.

Watch out, Boy, you're gonna explode like a firecracker.

Athena, take him outside, will ya, and quiet him down.

Now maybe we can eat in peace.

Nam-nire-gon-gopal.

You must be Adam Shaw.

I've just been communing with Narda. It looks good, very good.

Just to be sure, though, I'm going to make a full chart for you and Athena, even if it takes me all night.

That won't be necessary, because...

It's best to be sure. We wouldn't want anything to go wrong when you and Athena get married.

Nam-nire-gon-gopal.

I am not interested in Grandma's charts or in what Grandpa thinks of my underpinnings.

I like to smoke, I do not believe in numerology, vegetables or the stars.

I hate black strap molasses and yogurt and I'm not going to marry you.

Is that at all clear?

Yes, Adam.

I'm sorry you're so angry with me.

I'm sure that everything that happened up here tonight seemed strange and upset you.

I didn't like saying those things to you, Athena, but I've had enough.

This is all so... It's very true.

Okay. We live very differently from other people.

We live for happiness, beauty and decency.

Well, that's what most people try to do, isn't it?

Only they don't do it in this way.

They try to fit in with the rest of the world.

Oh, but we do, too, when we're with other people.

You didn't think I was so strange when you met me, did you?

No, you seemed a very normal and... and I must say, a very attractive young lady.

But then you started talking about sassafras juice and...

I know I must've shocked you.

But the first time I saw you, Adam, I wanted to kiss you.

Before I even knew you were a Four.

And then when all the numbers worked out, I made up my mind I wanted to marry you.

If you're angry with me for falling in love with you, maybe I just can't help it.

But Athena, people don't fall in love because of the stars.

Then why do they fall in love?

Mutual interests, long acquaintances...

Well, it just happens.

Then it might be the stars, mighten it?

There's no point in arguing about it...

Good night, Athena.

You mean "goodbye", don't you, Adam?

Oh, I wish you weren't so angry.

I'm not angry, it's just over, done, settled, finished.

I see. You couldn't possibly kiss me goodbye, could you?


What are you looking so pleased about?

Nothing. It's just that it's amazing what you can do without muscles.

Want any more to eat? No thanks, I've had plenty.

The peanut butter burgers were extra good, don't you think?

Great! So it tastes like hamburgers if you make hamburgers with peanuts.

No, honestly, doesn't natural food like this really make you feel better all over?

I can't tell, I'm numb from the waist down.

Oh, here, let me help you up You'll get used to it. Who wants to get used to it?

My foot's asleep. Oh, Johnny.

I know you think you're doing all this for my sake, and I appreciate it, but, pretty soon you're whole system will feel different.

I don't want to feel any different about you.

Minerva...

♪ Imagine I'm a tom cat, and you're a mom cat ♪

♪ A Siamese with cinnamon fir. ♪

♪ If I came along at just the right minute, ♪

♪ I could make you purr. ♪

♪ Imagine I'm a brave man, a stone age cave man, ♪

♪ Who's ready for a stone age affair. ♪

♪ If you passed my cave, I'd drag you right in it, ♪

♪ By your stone age hair. ♪

♪ With both of us so unruly, ♪

♪ Well, someone must try to blend. ♪

♪ I see it must be Yours Truly, ♪

♪ 'Cause no one can bend you, my Fine Feathered Friend, you. ♪

♪ Imagine you're an orchid, a hot house orchid, ♪

♪ But winter comes and freezes you through. ♪

♪ If I were the sun, in less than a minute, ♪

♪ I'd be warm to you. ♪

♪ As warm as summer to you. ♪

Where ya going?

It doesn't matter where I'm going, it counts where I've been.

The very best in things to eat, is Webson's Meat.

Whether it's roast beef or ham, or juicy leg of lamb.

Just be sure to eat, Webson's Meat.

It's delicious, and nutritious, and healthy.

I'm sorry, Beth. Oh, that's all right.

I must have dozed off. What time is it?

It's past midnight. Midnight?

Oh, Adam, Darling, they're lovely. I forgive you.

They're wonderful. I've never smelled anything like it.

What are they? They're ginger blossoms.

Don't put them in there, I'm... I have to keep them on the ice.

The ice? I'm supposed to eat them.

I see.

I thought it took you a long time just to say, "No."

Forgive me, Beth, I'm sorry.

But sometimes it happens, just like that.

May I drive you home. No thanks, my car's outside.

I apologize about tonight... and everything.

I'll live through it.

I only hope you will.

What are your plans?

Well, we haven't any yet.

You don't sound like a man who just found the One and Only Girl.

Well, there are a great many problems... there's Athena's whole family.

They believe in the stars and vegetables and things.

They're fiends about exercise and fresh air and...

They wear odd clothes and sing and dance at the drop of a hat.

Oh, but they're very warm and friendly and nice.

So is poor, dear Cousin Hattie... on visiting days.

I'm sleepy.

Go inside, nobody asked you to stay up.

Ooh! Grandma's up. Here she comes.

Athena, darling, I'm afraid it looks quite dismal.

But Grandma, you said everything was going to be all right.

I know, Dear, it starts all right, but the stars don't like the way he lives, or what he does or anything.

It won't work out. But it must.

I love Adam and he loves me.

I know, Dear, but the stars say there's a very bad time coming.

♪ Adam Shaw, Sagittarius. ♪

♪ Birthday, November 26. ♪

♪ Athena Mulvain, Aquarius. ♪

♪ Those two will never mix. ♪

♪ Sagittarians are fickle, untrue, ♪

♪ Up to, typical, masculine tricks. ♪

♪ Aquarians are constant, like you. ♪

♪ So, you're in an awful fix. ♪

♪ Adam has the Sun and Saturn, ♪

♪ Athena has the moon in her eyes. ♪

♪ But beware, this ill-starred pattern. ♪

♪ You'll forget him if you're wise. ♪

♪ A girl in love is never wise. ♪

♪ Sometimes he even defies the skies. ♪

♪ Love can change the stars ♪

♪ Whenever it's strong enough. ♪

♪ Believe in it long enough. ♪

♪ It will happen, somehow. ♪

♪ Rearrange the stars! ♪

♪ Love gives us the power for it. ♪

♪ Remember the hour for it, is now. ♪

♪ So, Darling, even when we're apart, ♪

♪ Take my hand in your own. ♪

♪ Keep me locked in your heart, ♪

♪ And I won't be alone. ♪

♪ Soon, we'll kiss and stars will fade in the mist, for me, ♪

♪ They'll only exist for me, ♪

♪ If they shine in your eye. ♪

♪ When two hearts are entwined, ♪

♪ Venus waltzes with Mars. ♪

♪ Hand in hand, we will find, ♪

♪ Love can change the stars. ♪

Good morning.

Good morning. How are you this morning?

Great! Great day for breathing.

Um! The air is full of oxygen.

You'll pop your button. I'm not that strong.

Where's Minerva? She had to deliver an order.

Well, I'll wait.

All right, then you'll make yourself useful.

There's a whole case of water chestnuts in the storeroom just dying to be unpacked.

Slave driver. Keep an on eye on that, will ya, it's for Minerva.

Look, white orchid. Oh, they're beautiful.

You know, Athena, I could really go for Johnny.

Well, now, you just better not.

The stars say he's for Minerva, wait for your own.

I bet he won't have white orchids.

Hello, Girls.

And neither will he.

You're supposed to be with Grandpa, Ed. What are you doing here?

I just can't keep my mind on my workouts.

Athena, you've been avoiding me lately and I'm all full of acid and electricity.

Well, you just tell Grandpa to give you a steam bath.

And stop thinking, it always upsets you.

If you're not Mr. Universe, It'll just break Grandpa's heart.

And I know you'll win, 'cause you're the greatest and the best.

Why do you go around with Adam?

It's the stars, there's nothing I can do about it.

Your grandmother says the stars don't even like the way he lives.

I know, I'm going to have to do something about that.

Why bother, he's a worm.

What kind of children would you have with a guy like that?

Well, if the stars say we should get married, I'm sure they'll take care of the children, too.

Oh, hi, Minerva.

Hi, Athena.

Johnny brought...

Ed! What?

You ate Minerva's orchid. Orchid?

I thought it tasted kinda funny. I wish you'd go on a diet.

Good morning, good morning.

Great day to be alive.

You're looking mighty pretty, Miss Seely, mighty pretty.

Where's your hat and coat, Mr. Shaw?

Left them at home, walked to the office.

There's nothing like a brisk walk first thing in the morning to get the blood circulating.

Any calls?

Mr. Tremaine, Mr. Grenville and Mr. Griswalde are waiting in your office.

Fine! Take care of this for me, will you.

When I go to the Club, remind me to take it along.

It's my lunch.

Good morning, good morning!

You ought to get out in the sun, get some color in your cheeks.

Your complexions are like old, leather wallets.

What are you doing?

Breathing. Nothing like it. You can't live without breathing, you know.

Well, you might be feeling cheerful, but we're not.

We want to talk to you. Sounds serious, fire ahead.

What's wrong, Adam. Nothing, never felt better.

Eat like a horse, sleep like a log.

You've been acting strange, Adam, very strange.

Stop moving the furniture.

Oh, I'm sorry, I was just trying to get some exercise.

I know a fellow that can lift a chair 200 times.

And not even breathe hard. Yeah, so could I when I was a kid.

This "kid" I'm talking about is 78 years old.

I don't believe it, I'd like to see it.

Like to know who he is.

Well, I'd like to know what's happened between you and Beth.

I'm afraid that's a very personal question.

Of course it's personal.

Beth is my wife's niece, naturally they talk...

Let's get to the point, we want to know who she is, what she is, how far it's gone...

None of your business. It is our business, Adam.

Get mixed up with the wrong sort of people, it's bad for the firm.

It could keep you out of Congress.

You've got to be as clean as a hound's tooth.

One thing I guarantee, Athena is the cleanest young lady you'll ever meet.

Well, according the Beth, this young lady you've taken up with is a little peculiar... strange.

If you mean, is she just like anyone else, no, not to me.

To me, she's very special and very wonderful.

And now I have a great deal of work to do, so if you don't mind, I'll keep my private life private.

I'd like to know what this girl has that Beth hasn't.

Six sisters.

Good day, Roy.

Oh, Miss Mulvain, nice to see you. Mr. Shaw isn't home.

I know. I'd like you to meet my sisters, Roy.

Watakushi wa anata u suki desu, o tomodashi ni narimashou, Roy-san. And I love all of you, too, let us be friends.

May we go inside?

Oh, the house isn't quite straightened up yet.

Oh, don't worry about it, just relax in the sun.

Oh, this room! I can't move, I can't breathe!

How do you feel? Fine.

Let's get to work!

♪ When I try makin' money, I never have much luck. ♪

♪ I never earn a dime, much less a buck. ♪

♪ Are my finances in a mess? Yes! ♪

♪ But I never felt better, so I couldn't care less. ♪

♪ I don't ride polo ponies, or try to fly a plane, ♪

♪ I never order beer, much less champagne. ♪

♪ But do I need a lotta dough? No! ♪

♪ 'Cause I never felt better, so I couldn't feel low. ♪

♪ Not low.♪

♪ No, no!

♪ I'm high. ♪

♪ Hi! I hear a fly. ♪

♪ I never have a worry, I never have a care ♪

♪ about what I should buy, or what to wear. ♪

♪ And do I find my future bright? Right! ♪

♪ 'Cause I never felt better, and I'm doing all right. ♪

♪ When summer's at its hottest, the rain must keep me cool, ♪

♪ Flat out on a creek, much less a pool. ♪

♪ What do I do when warm is toast? Most ♪

♪ But I never felt better, so I simply won't roast. ♪

♪ When winter's at its coldest, I shiver and I shriek, ♪

♪ I haven't got a coat, must less a mink. ♪

♪ But does that mean I'm losin' hope? Nope! ♪

♪ 'Cause I never felt better, tell me why should I mope. ♪

♪ Why mope? ♪

♪ No soap. ♪

♪ Don't cry... ♪

♪ Not I. ♪

♪ Some days I go out shopping, and buy each thing I see, ♪

♪ and charge it and feel I got 'em free. ♪

♪ So where will I receive my mail? Jail! ♪

♪ But I never felt better, so I'm cruisin' full sail. ♪

♪ The thing most people love to do is worry. ♪

♪ They dearly love to worry and complain. ♪

♪ So, let me check my list, and see if I have missed, ♪

♪ A possible source of misery and pain. ♪

♪ A possible source of misery... ♪

♪ and pain. ♪

♪ How's your appetite? ♪

♪ Tremendous! ♪

♪ How's your energy? ♪

♪ Stupendous! ♪

♪ Are you strong? ♪

♪ So strong I have to watch my step. ♪

♪ How're your eyes? ♪

♪ Bright as a penny. ♪

♪ And your sleep? ♪

♪ I don't need any. ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm always on the ball, and full of pep. ♪

♪ 'Cause your heart it must be ticking, ♪

♪ 'cause I fell that I've been kicking. ♪

♪ 'Cause in your brain... ♪

♪ it's the same ♪

♪ a kind of twist. ♪

♪ How's your love life? ♪

♪ I got plenty! How's your baby when he's twenty? ♪

♪ I must confess that I'm depressingly on six. ♪

♪ If I'm to cross the ocean, I better learn to float, ♪

♪ I can't afford a raft, must less a boat. ♪

♪ But would I love to see Paris? Oui! ♪

♪ Still, I never felt better, so Pomona suits me. ♪

♪ And Heidelberg would thrill me, I'd buy a dress in chintz, ♪

♪ and roll right out and land a student prince. ♪

♪ But will I ever cross the Rhine? Nein! ♪

♪ Still, I never felt better, so the beach will do fine. ♪

♪ No Rhine. ♪

♪ Nein! That's fine! Nein! Come see ♪

♪ Paris. ♪

♪ I haven't got a worry, I haven't got a care ♪

♪ about what I should buy, or what to wear. ♪

♪ Got no diamond solitaire. So what! ♪

♪ You know what? I consider diamonds kinda square. ♪

♪ Besides I never felt better. ♪

♪ I never felt better. ♪

♪ No I never felt better, and I'm walkin'... ♪

♪ on air! ♪


Answer the phone! Where is it?

I don't know.

It's in here.

Hello, hello, this is Athena, Adam's not here.

But I can get a message to him very quickly if it's important.

That was Athena. Was Adam there?

She says no, but I doubt it.

After all, if he's not there what's she doing there?

I'm going to find out. I'm not going to get involved in a congressional campaign with Adam and then have the lid blow off.

I'm with you. I've been very anxious to see what this mysterious Athena is like.

Coming, Griswalde? Do you think we ought to spy on them?

Definitely! Yes!

Afternoon, Roy. Mr. Shaw isn't at home, Gentlemen.

We'll wait.

Roy! Roy! What's happened here? Where are the rugs?

Aphrodite took them up. Unhealthy. Animal matter.

Aphrodite? I thought it was Athena.

Both ladies were here.

Well, Adam seems to be a busy little fellow.

Look out! Bees! Bees!

Roy, no screens in this place? Minerva removed them.

Interferes with the natural circulation of the air.

Minerva, that's three. Did she take the drapes down?

Not alone, Ceres helped her.

Ceres? How many girls were here?

Seven.

Sounds like he's running a harem. Or worse.

Well, now, it may be perfectly innocent.

Adam may be just sponsoring a girls' basketball team.

There are only five on a basketball team. And Roy said seven.

Well, substitutes maybe.

Nam-nire-gon-gopal.

I beg your pardon?

Nam-nire-gon-gopal, that means, "I love you, let us be friends."

You have probably come to the wrong place, this is a private residence.

Doesn't Adam Shaw live here? Yes, yes he does.

I knew Narda wouldn't bring me to the wrong place.

Is Adam around?

Not at the moment.

What a shame, I have so much to do.

Would you give him a message for me, please.

Tell him... tell him that Narda says the "Black Place" is still there.

But there's a touch of brightness on the horizon.

Yes, yes, Mrs. Narda, we'll tell him.

Oh, good heavens, I'm not Narda, I've just been communing with Narda.

I'm Athena's grandmother and I've got to get back and finish Adam's chart.

I've only brought it up to the 17th century so far.

Oh, they've done wonders with this place.

It's almost fit to live in... as soon as we knock out those walls.

Oh, you poor man, you've been hit by the tail of a comet, but it's not too late.

Just let me have your glasses. Well, I should say not, don't be absurd.

You're a Leo, born in August, somewhere between the 9th and the 15th, weren't you?

August the 10th, how did you know?

Oh, very simple, Leo's are always puffing and blowing, but underneath they're as gentle as wooly lambs.

Besides, the male is usually attractive and distinguished.

Now, let me have your glasses, like a good boy.

But I can't see anything.

Now just come over here, right over here and lie down.

There! Now... now then...

Open your eyes, look up at the sun, don't be afraid.

Open, close, open, close.

Keep that up and relax, pretend you're a tulip.

I have to get back now. You won't forget my message message for Adam.

And remember, I love you, let us be friends, Nam-nire-gon-gopal.

I could stand a drink, my nerves are shot to pieces.

Well, a reception committee. Anything wrong?

You. We've had enough, Adam.

Look at your house, Adam.

It seems airier now, doesn't it? Stop playing the fool, Adam.

There's a congressional campaign ahead of you.

There's no two ways about it, you've got to get rid of Athena, she's off the beam.

And so is her family. Her grandmother was here.

She had me doing tulip exercises.

She communes with something called Narda. Well, that's Grandma, all right.

How can you possibly get mixed up with those people?

I'm not mixed up, I'm in love with Athena.

But it can't work, not in a million years.

This whole Athena business is idiocy.

Suppose you were invited to the White House for dinner?

What are you going to order, wheat germ and yogurt?

Now, wait a minute, I assure you that when Athena is away from her family and with people like us, she behaves just like anybody else.

You'll have to do better than that to convince me.

I intend to... I'm bringing her to the reception at your house tonight.

You're insane, Adam, some of our biggest clients will be there.

And four national committeemen. Then it ought to be a good test.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and shower.

I love you, let us be friends.

Good evening, Henri. Mr. Shaw, Mademoiselle.

Good evening. Permit me.

Je vous aime, soyons amis.

Athena. Force of habit.

I'll be very careful.

Evening, Adam. May I present Miss Mulvain.

Mrs. Grenville. How do you do?

Mrs. Tremaine. How do you do?

Mr. Grenville and Mr. Tremaine. How do you do?

Mr. Tremaine's handling my campaign for Congress, Athena.

Oh, I'm so happy to meet you, Mr. Tremaine.

I'm sure now that Adam will be elected.

We're keeping our fingers crossed.

Oh, you don't have to worry about it, really.

You seem very confidant, Miss Mulvain, I suppose Mr. Tramaine's numbers add up correctly.

Well, I wasn't thinking of numbers.

It's just that Mr. Tremaine's face inspires great confidence.

Well, that's kind of you.

Oh, it's not kind at all, it's the truth.

If you'll excuse us.

Surely.

Oh, I like her. Nice looking girl, too. Got a good head on her shoulders.

Shrewd judge of character.

Drinking alcohol is like swallowing... Not now, thank you.

It'll look very conspicuous if we don't take a drink.

You don't have to taste it, just carry a glass or something.

Don't worry, Darling, I know how to behave.

Adam, my boy, when did you slip in?

Oh, evening, this is Mrs. Griswalde and my partner, Mr. Griswalde.

Miss Mulvain.

Oh, it's so exciting to meet you, Miss Mulvain.

You know, I've heard the most intriguing things about you.

You're both looking very well, did you get over that little allergic attack all right?

He hasn't had a sniffle, knock wood. You're looking much better, too, Adam.

Miss Mulvain gets credit for that, she's had Adam take up exercise.

I understand your family are all acrobats?

Well, a little exercise never hurt anyone.

A little! I hear your grandfather's still doing somersaults.

And he's in his seventies. Seventy-eight.

And he'll do somersaults when he's older.

Right now, he's still doing back-flips.

If you'll excuse us.

I think this is the loveliest thing Benini ever wrote.

Only it's von Weber's Oberon.

Sounds more like Mozart to me.

Mozart? Couldn't possibly be.

Adam, Darling, hello.

And Miss Athena, I was beginning to wonder if you'd materialize.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world, it's very interesting.

And educational... seeing how the other half lives.

Don, what's the argument about? This.

Do you know what this is?

Oh! La fille du régiment, Daughter of the Regiment.

Oh, really? Donizeti, Marie sings it.

Goes somewhat like this...

♪ Chacun le sait, chacun le dit, ♪

♪ Le régiment par excellence ♪

♪ Le seul à qui l'on fass' crédit ♪

♪ Dans tous les cabarets de France... ♪

♪ Le régiment, en tous pays, ♪

♪ L'effroi des amants des maris... ♪

♪ Mais de la beauté bien suprême! ♪

♪ Il est là,il est là,il est là,morbleu! ♪

♪ Le voilà, le voilà, le voilà, corbleu! ♪

♪ Il est là, il est là, le voilà, ♪

♪ Le beau Vingt-et-unième! ♪

♪ Il a gagné tant de combats, ♪ That was charming! Wait a minute, there's a little more.

♪ Fera chacun de ses soldats, ♪

♪ A la paix, maréchal de France! ♪

♪ Car, c'est connu le régiment ♪

♪ Le plus vainqueur. ♪

♪ le plus charmant, ♪

♪ Qu'un sexe craint, et que l'autre aime. ♪

♪ Il est là,il est là, il est là,morbleu! ♪

♪ Le voilà, le voilà, le voilà, corbleu! ♪

♪ Il est là, il est là, le voilà, ♪

♪ Le beau Vingt-et-unième! ♪

♪ Le beau Vingt-et-unième! ♪

Dinner is served.

Thank you.

Mr. Tremaine would like you to come to the study, Sir, he wants you to meet some gentlemen.

Well, it must be the national committee money.

Run along, Adam, I'll see that Athena's taken care of while you're gone.

Athena, Darling, don't be shy. How about some tomatoes?

Tomatoes are all right for you, aren't they, Dear?

Fine. They're so good.

Especially when they're stuffed with chicken.

No, I don't think so.

Got to eat something. How about some salt?

Oh! Bad luck.

Some shrimp salad? Crab's legs? No, I don't care for any, thanks.

Some roast beef, it's just delicious.

If you don't mind, I don't care for a thing.

It's silly to make a fuss about food.

I'm not the one that's making the fuss, you are.

Nonsense, roast beef never hurt anyone.

Try a piece, it's nice and rare.

That's not rare, it's wounded.

Miss Mulvain has some silly superstitions about meat.

Maybe. Have you ever eaten centipedes?

Certainly not. Well, they do it all the time in Tahiti.

They'd think you were rather silly.

And if I'm superstitious, I'm in very good company.

You cross your fingers for luck.

And you, Mr. Griswalde, you knock on wood.

How about you, Beth, throwing salt over your shoulder?

Well, we don't eat, and maybe that makes us crazy.

One thing I do know, when we invite guests, we don't play nasty tricks on 'em.

Where's Adam? He won't be here.

Grandma was right about the Black Spot coming.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Johnny Nyle.

♪ Where in the world would you see ♪

♪ Gondolas glide, while lanterns inside ♪

♪ Glow brightly, nightly. ♪

♪ Where but Venice? ♪

♪ Where in the world would you hear ♪

♪ Mandolins playing while glasses are clinking, ♪

♪ Gaily, daily. ♪

♪ Where but Venice? ♪

♪ Venice, the Queen of Them All, ♪

♪ Or as we lovingly call her... ♪

♪ Venezia, Fairest of Flowers, ♪

♪ Treasure the hours, ♪

♪ You spend with her. ♪

♪ Venezia rocks you and holds you. ♪

♪ As she enfolds you, ♪

♪ Soft breezes stir. ♪

♪ You will be poured in her arms to your lover, ♪

♪ You'll be reborn on the day you discover ♪

♪ Venezia, part from her never, ♪

♪ Now and forever, ♪

♪ Give thanks above, ♪

♪ For Venezia, ♪

♪ Home of laughter and love. ♪

I better get out of here before I start to cry.

Tell me exactly what happened.

Oh, I lost my temper, Minerva. Oh, Athena, you didn't.

It's all over now. Oh, Athena, I'm terribly sorry.

I'll take you home. Where are you going, what gives?

Oh, Athena and Adam are split up, Johnny. It's a shame.

If Athena and Adam split up, we're done, too, Johnny.

What do they got to do with us?

But I can't get married until she gets married.

That's what the stars say. Oh, of all the silly nonsense.

Watch your language, Johnny Nyle.

Go on, Minerva, beat it, go to bed or something.

I mean it, beat it!

If you need any help, Athena, just holler.

Please, Adam, I know what you're going to say, but don't say it.

I lost my temper. You certainly did.

I tried and tried, but I just couldn't help it.

Nobody expects you to do the impossible.

They started picking on you from the moment you arrived.

But running out the way you did...

I just didn't want to cause any more trouble than... than I already had.

It won't work, will it, Adam? What won't?

You and me.

I realized tonight that...

I could ruin everything for you... your career, your future and...

Oh, it just won't work. The stars are right.

Good bye, Adam.

Athena.

I love you.

And you told me that love can change anything, even the stars.

I believed it when you said it, I believe it now.

Don't you?

Good night, Adam.

Nam-nire-gon-gopal, Grandma. And I love you, Adam. Let us be friends.

Thanks, Grandma, good night.

Adam, I don't want to upset your cheerful mood, but be very, very careful tomorrow.

No matter what happens, avoid crowds.

You shouldn't have come. The stars said to you to avoid crowds.

Well, if I don't come, Grandpa's upset, and if I do come, the stars are.

Frankly, Grandpa frightens me more than the stars.

It isn't that Grandpa doesn't like you, Adam, it's just that he can't help thinking what beautiful children Athena and Ed would have.

I promise you I'll do my best to have as nice children as I can.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ulysses Mulvain.

Thank you, thank you all.

I am greatly honored at having been asked to preside at this evening's ceremonies, The selection of Mr. Universe.

The judges are ready and I know you are all anxious to get on with the contest.

Here they are, Ladies and Gentlemen, the candidates for Mr. Universe.


Good heavens, Ed drew number thirteen, I'll have to speak to Narda.


Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been asked to make an announcement.

For the first time since these contests were inaugurated, the judges have been unable to reach a decision.

It is an absolute tie between two of the contestants.

Therefore, the judges have decided that each of the contestants will be required to do a Continental clean and press.

Number 11 and Number 13.

All righty!

All right Number 11, you go first.


All right, Ed, it's all yours.


Help him, Narda, help him.

Get it up there, Boy, get it up there.

Don't just sit there, hold the good thought.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Universe.

Ed, congratulations.

Ed had faith in me and my ideas.

There was one other who's faith never faltered, my wife.

It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

We have not been idle dreamers, we have practiced what we preach.

And results...

Congratulations, Ed. You still chasing Athena?

According to the stars, the chase is over.

Not according to me. Take your hands off me!

Not until you promise to stop seeing Athena. I said, take your hands off me.

Did you get it? Clear as a bell.

What did you... Oh, I'm very sorry, I...

Sorry! Ten years of work ruined, You've made a laughing stock out of me, a laughing stock out of all of us.

Now... you... you...

It wasn't my fault, Athena, you must understand.

Yes I do. You think we're strange, unreasonable, crazy.

You never believed a word of our ideas.

I? I've got flies going through my living room.

I've been eating vegetables, flowers, weeds.

Well, if you really believed, you wouldn't have come here tonight.

The stars said you shouldn't have. Well, I did come.

And was I supposed to let him break my neck just to prove the stars were right.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to keep away from me, and from all of us, from now on.

Have you ever fought professionally, Sir? What? No.

Roy! Roy!!

First thing tomorrow get these rugs down, and put up the drapes and screens.

Yes, Mr. Shaw. And congratulations, I saw you on television. Very clear picture.

I don't care to discuss it, get me a drink.

Papaya juice, "pomanut-granate" juice?

Brandy! A whole bottle. And a steak! I want it rare enough to walk in here by itself.

Very well, Sir, but drinking alcohol is like swallowing a dead toad.

Yes!! No!!

No, I will not make a personal appearance at the Stadium!

This is the end, Adam. The absolute end.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, I know what you're going to say, but don't say it.

You told me I was too young for politics and maybe this'll prove it.

However, maybe we can salvage a little something from the wreckage.

That oil account in Bolivia, you could be Resident Consul until this thing blows over.

How long would that take? About 40 years.

Would it be too late then to run for Congress?

It's too late now.

Two million people believe in that Mulvain stuff, it's a cinch they wouldn't vote for you.

Those who don't believe in it wouldn't vote for you because they'll figure you're mixed up in it, otherwise, what would you be doing there?

No... you couldn't be elected Dog Catcher.

Evening, Roy. Good evening, Sir.

Mr. Shaw is in the living room. Thank you.

Hi, Lieutenant. What do you want?

Nothing special. Can I help you?

I'm quite able to get the cork out of a bottle, thank you.

Bite my head off.

I just wanted to tell you that it did my heart good to see you flatten Ed Perkins.

Judo, huh! I wish the Navy never taught it to me.

So do the Mulvains.

Have you been out there? Uh-huh.

What's the latest report from the stars? Athena's gonna marry Ed Perkins.

Did Athena tell you that?

No, Grandpa told me, I thought you ought to know.

I wonder if it would do any good if I spoke to Grandpa.

I doubt it. I got the idea that in his opinion you're not a member of the family.

You're not even a member of the human race.

It's not Grandpa's opinion I'm worried about.

Let's go.

I thought you'd be along.

Well, stop thinking, you'll strain a muscle.

Very funny, where do you think you're going?

I know where I'm going, and I know where you're going if you don't get out of my way.

Flat on your back and if you don't believe me, ask Ed Perkins.

Now, get out of my way.

We don't want your kind around here either. You guys never learn.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Johnny, I never knew you could do that. You never asked me.

You never asked me a lot of things, like when we're gonna get married or...

Oh, well, I want to, Johnny, more than anything.

But the stars say... The stars say we'll have children.

I'd rather have trouble with you than without you.

We can't change the stars, Johnny.

♪ Soon we'll kiss and stars will fade in the mist for me. ♪

♪ They'll only exist for me ♪

♪ If they shine in your eyes. ♪

♪ When two hearts are entwined, ♪

♪ Venus waltzes with Mars. ♪

♪ Hand in hand, we will find ♪

♪ Love can change the stars. ♪

Once more, I'm not leaving until I see Athena.

Well, she doesn't want to see you.

This is my home, Mr. Shaw, and you're not welcome here.

You've made my way of living look foolish and ridiculous, now will you please go?

Just because your pride is hurt, you're acting like a spoilt child.

I'm tired of your theories.

Maybe the berries and the nuts and the sunshine saved your life, maybe they didn't.

Maybe it was just that you and Grandma were too much in love to give up.

Maybe what kept you going was that you were both fighting to have a life together.

Isn't Athena entitled to that much, too?

Until you came along, we were very happy.

All we want is to live our lives in our own way.

Oh, no, you want everyone else to live in your way, too.

You talk big, live and let live, I love you, let us be friends.

But it's just talk, you're a fraud, Mr. Mulvain.

You're narrow minded, pig-headed, and obstinate.

I don't know what the stars say or what the numbers add up to, but in my book, love is better than letters and people are more important than vegetables.

He had no right to talk to you like that, Grandpa.

He certainly speaks his mind.

I said that the first time I saw him.

Well, Adam's a Saggitarium and they always have such bad tempers He's a young man in love, they have even worse tempers.

Tell me... Athena, have you ever felt we were forcing you to live this way?

Of course not, Grandpa, you know that.

You've been happy here, haven't you?

Of course.

Then there's no reason why you can't be just as happy from now on, how is that?

Please Grandpa, I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind.

You like Ed Perkins, don't you?

Yes, I like Ed Perkins, I like him very much, I like everybody, but...

I'd just rather not talk about it.

Oh, I wish everything could be the same as it was before.

What's the matter with Athena?

Same thing's the matter with us, Ma... very same thing.

Morning, Roy. Good morning, Sir.

My things all packed. Yes, Sir, they're in the car.

Fine. Oh, by the way, Roy, when I'm out of town, I want all these peach trees ripped out.

But there'll be fruit on them. I hate fruit.

Yes, Sir. What would you like for breakfast, Sir?

I'm not hungry, just bring me a cup of coffee.

How about some ham and eggs?

Athena! what are you doing here?

Well, I thought we might as well get used to having breakfast together.

But Athena...

I just had a long talk with Grandma and Grandpa, and we agreed that if two people love each other enough, that could solve everything.

And they think people are much more important than vegetables.

♪ Life is fun if you harmonize, ♪

♪ Full of sun if you harmonize, ♪

♪ Re Do Ti Do, ♪

♪ It's my credo. ♪

♪ Lift your voice to the highest skies, ♪

♪ You'll rejoice in the exercise. ♪

♪ See how your heart will soar, ♪

♪ if you sing like a troubadour. ♪

♪ They will "rise" you, ♪

♪ Idolize you, ♪

♪ If you harmonize. ♪

♪ Love can change the stars whenever it's strong enough, ♪

♪ Believe in it long enough, ♪

♪ it will happen, somehow. ♪

♪ When two hearts are entwined, ♪

♪ Venus waltzes with Mars. ♪

♪ Hand in hand, we will find ♪

♪ Love can change the stars. ♪