Babes in Toyland (1961) Script

Hello, everybody. My name is Sylvester. Sylvester J. Goose.

My friends call me Syl. Or sometimes Sylly. (CHUCKLES)

At this time, it is with unmitigated pleasure...

WOMAN: Sylvester, talk faster.

Talk faster? You're lucky to find a goose who can talk at all.

As I was saying, it is my pleasure to present your hostess for this occasion, weighing 189 pounds...

WOMAN: Sylvester!

I present the one and only Mother Goose.

Thank you, Sylvester.

Blabbermouth.

I'm here to invite you to a celebration in our village.

Tomorrow is the wedding of Tom and Mary.

-Two of my closest friends. -I know.

So put on your best smile, set free your imagination and come with us to Mother Goose Village.

Sylvester?

All right, boys. Open the curtains.

Down in the square In the Mother Goose Village square All the people gather when there's some excitement in the air See how they run for they always have lots of fun In exchanging bits of gossip and the news of everyone Come, join the crowd You'll be happy and mighty proud To be welcome where so few outsiders ever are allowed You'll mingle with the people You'll meet everybody there Down at the village square Here comes Bo-Peep Who is never without her sheep

There's Jack and Jill who have tumbled down the hill

Come and meet the people and see what's in the air Down at the village square


(HORN BLOWING)

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Do your trick with the candlestick


Simple Simon met a pie-man going to the fair Show us, Simon what the pie-man demonstrated there


(ALL LAUGHING)

Lemonade, let's have a lemonade Fill your cup and join us in the grand parade Be aware, tomorrow's big affair Is the wedding in the garden glade Good neighbors, soon we'll see man and wife to be Dancing with each other so contentedly To youth and love May neither ever fade To Tom and Mary, drink a lemonade Tom Mary


Lemonade, let's have a lemonade Here's to all the bright and lovely plans they've made Drink to life, their long and happy life While they face the future unafraid Good neighbors, here we see the groom and bride to be Beaming at each other oh, so trustingly May all their dreams come true and never fade To Tom and Mary Drink a lemonade


Fie on you, you frivolous fools!

Your tide is at the surge.

Today you sing a happy song, tomorrow a dirge.

Bah!

You see, unbeknownst to Mary, she inherits scads of money when she marries.

Thus, it carries that if I'm to get my hands on Mary's money, the person Mary marries must be me. Not Tom, me.

I must do away with Tom.

Gonzorgo.

Roderigo.

Come, let us plot.

GONZORGO AND RODERIGO: Ow!

Idiots!

Now, gentlemen.

It is said you'll do anything for money.

Your infamous reputation is widespread.

Thank you, Mr. Barnaby.

Now, make note while I plan this little caper.

-Mark this down. -Mark this down.

-Item one. -Item one.

Kidnap Tom.

Kidnap Tom.

No, kidnap him.

Item two.

Throw him in the sea.

No, just throw him in the sea.

Item three.

Mary's sheep...

These sheep support her. Somehow, I must thwart her.

She's much too independent with them, so she must be without them.

-Steal the sheep. -Steal the sheep.

No, steal them.

Anything else, Mr. Barnaby?

That's all for now, gentlemen. When this deed is through, this tidy stipend is for you.

A pittance. Preposterous.

This experience should make us wiser. We do not do business with a miser.

Come, Roderigo. We are wasting our time.


Behold, my mercenary friends. Does this satisfy your greed?

Oh, indeed it does, indeed it does!

Gonzorgo, Roderigo, let us scheme.

I embezzle and I swindle and I keep two sets of books And the income tax collector always gives me dirty looks Now the thought of Mary's money has a very strong appeal So underhandedly I've planned another shady deal And I won't be happy till I get it Unwittingly, some papers she will sign She will never have a hint that in the finer print Her inheritance is mine, all mine

We enjoy committing mayhem for a monetary gain And we specialize in crimes which are completely inhumane Now we're on our way to steal some sheep and drown a boy at sea And then directly we'll collect a very handsome fee And we won't be happy till we get it In some lagoon a body soon will splash We're eager to proceed to do this evil deed Just as long as we are paid in cash

We're an awful gruesome threesome and we're rotten to the core Of the jobs we pull you'll see some that will make you hate us more Whether larceny or murder Makes no difference what the crime We'll forge a check or cut your neck if we can make a dime And we won't be happy till we get it Oh, what a shame They'll hate our name in town But what are we to do? Unhappily it's true We'll take anything that's not nailed down And we won't be happy till we get it

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary How does your garden grow?

With silver bells And cockle shells And pretty little maids In a row


Did you bring the mallet?

Good. Now, remember.

You hit him with the mallet and I'll put him in the sack.

Is that clear?

Not now. He isn't even here yet.

Now we'll wait until they...


(GRUNTS)

Get ready!

-Here they come. -I wonder if he'll try to kiss her.

I've been dreaming Through the long, lonely past Dreaming I would find you at last Locked in my arms Ever to stay Just a whisper away Now we're here, love With that moment in view Here, love And it's all coming true All that I've dreamed Day after day Just a whisper away All my love dreams Are at last coming true Love dreams Binding me close to you Locked in your arms Ever to stay Just a whisper away Time is near, love When our lives will entwine Dear love Soon you'll vow to be mine All that I've dreamed Day after day Just a whisper away

He just tried to bite her.

Come now, it isn't nice to eavesdrop.

Time is near, love When our lives will entwine Dear love Soon you'll vow to be mine All that I've dreamed Day after day

Just a whisper Away


Double-dealing, double-crossing These are things that we adore There are many types of treachery within our repertoire Now we're on our way to take young Tom and throw him in the sea And then directly we'll collect a very handsome fee And we won't be happy till we get...

A gypsy camp.

Gypsies, eh? I've heard it said that gypsies buy babies.

I wonder if they'd be interested in purchasing this fine strapping youth.

I have an idea.

Why don't we sell Tom to the gypsies and collect for him twice? Understand?

Listen. Barnaby is paying us to get rid of Tom.

But if, instead of throwing Tom into the sea, we sell him to gypsies, we'll be paid for him again.

Once by Barnaby and once by the gypsies.

Can't you see that?

Right!

Now this young man could fetch a fancy price Why throw him in the sea? We'll trick old Barnaby And we'll find ourselves collecting twice To the gypsies!

We won't be happy till we get it No, we won't be happy till we get it Yes, we won't be happy till we get it Oh, we won't be happy till we get it

(BELLS RINGING)

Mother Goose, will Tom admire me in this gown?

-Child, he'll just adore you. -I think it's beautiful!

-What if it rains? -But it's a bright sunny day.

-Suppose Tom forgets the ring? -Mary, don't be funny.

It could happen. A friend of mine was...

-Hush, Sylvester. -I hadn't finished.

-Sorry. -Hand me a pin, Sylvester.

-Thank you. -Now, let's see.

There's something borrowed, something blue...

-Good day, friends. -Here's something old and ugly, too.

What a charming bride!

The sweetest and loveliest I have ever seen.

-Why, that oily... -Sylvester!

Thank you, Mr. Barnaby.

May I offer you my best wishes for your future happiness?

-You miserable, miserly... -Sylvester, no!

For lunch, I had roast goose.

That's the way we lost Mother.

Would you please excuse us? We have so much to do.

Yes, of course, the preparations for the wedding.

-What's that? -MAN: Come on!

Some small excitement.

-This is Mary's cottage, sir. -Thank you, my dear fellow.

Roderigo, take care of this lad.

No, don't hit him. Tip him.

Oh, thank you!

-My word, two shipwrecked sailors. -Sailors?

-What ever are they doing here? -I can't imagine.

Now, remember. We are...

My friend and I would like to know, are you Miss Mary Quite Contrary?

Yes, sir. I am she.

Well...

We don't know how to tell you this, Miss Mary.

No, we don't know how to tell you this at all.

We were 20 leagues at sea, it was calm as it could be, when out of the north there came a sudden squall.

He was standing at the wheel, he was, Miss Mary.

And across the deck, the mighty ocean roared.

Then the mizzen broke and fell, and we heard the fellow yell as it bashed him down and swept him overboard.

Slowly, slowly, he sank into the sea Though we tried to save him He sank into the sea

But who, sir? Who sank?

It was Tom, ma'am. Tom sank.

Tom sank?

Tom sank?

Who's Tom Sank?

What preposterous rumor are you spreading? Go, on your way.

Unless you have some evidence?

Some proof for what you say?

Oh! Yes, sir!

What proof do you have?

We are bringing you his personal belongings.

And in his hat, we found this soggy note.

Though the salty ocean spray somehow washed the words away, I'll see if I can't decipher what he wrote.

"Darling Mary," he begins, or is that "Dearest"?

Yes, that's the term he uses, we agree.

Now the boy goes on to tell how he hopes this finds you well.

It's too bad he slowly sank into the sea.

Slowly, slowly, he sank into the sea With no life-preserver He sank into the sea But this was to be our wedding day. Why would Tom be at sea?

Does this letter offer some explanation? I presume he's written more.

Oh! Yes, sir!

"I am poor," the letter reads, "and can't support you."

"And it's best I sail away and set you free.

"Noble lady that you are, you'd be better off by far

"if you were to marry wealthy Barnaby."

We advise you to forget him now, Miss Mary.

Our condolences to you we do extend.

But we'll blame you not, my dear, if you care to shed a tear for the way he met his most untimely end.

Slowly, slowly, he sank into the sea To the very bottom He sank into the sea

How about that?

Oh, my poor, brave Tom.

Sacrificing his life for my welfare!

Poor Mary. Come children, in the house.

-There's something fishy about this. -Hush, Sylvester.

I wouldn't trust either one of them, the fat one or the idiot.

Well done, boys. Now for item three.

-Item three, steal the sheep. -On your way.

Gentle Mary, so grief-stricken and remorseful.

To see you thus is more than I can bear.

Erase your sorrow, now.

Be resourceful for yourself and those poor children in your care.

Take advantage, my dear, of my infatuation.

May I point out you are deeply in my debt?

I could seize your home through legal confiscation.

I do hope you don't take that as a threat.

Feast your eyes upon my mansion, tall and stately, and imagine it a castle, dear, in Spain.

Come, my love, for I'd admire it greatly that you be my queen and live in my domain.

No!

In our castle in Spain You'll be living rent-free Every capital gain You'll share with me

From this village below Every cent we will drain And our fortune will grow In our castle in Spain Every mortgage and lease I will re-evaluate And for you I'll increase Their interest rate

You'll eat nothing but cake You'll drink naught but champagne You'll be in on the take In our castle in Spain


(BULL BELLOWS)


Surely you must agree That it makes your head whirl To be marrying me You lucky girl You have caught me today In a generous vein Come now, what do you say To our castle in

Spain?

No!

No, thank you, Mr. Barnaby.

I don't want your castle. I'd never marry just for wealth alone.

And even though Tom may be gone, his memory I'll keep.

I'm sure that we can carry on with the income from our sheep.

Your sheep?

Yes, of course. Our sheep.

BO-PEEP: My sheep!

-Our sheep! -Bo-Peep!

-What's the matter? -Our sheep, they're lost.

Oh, no! They can't be lost. Have you looked in the fields?

-You searched the hills? -I searched everywhere.

(LAUGHING)

My sheep are gone for good There goes our livelihood I'm sure my poor sweet fleecy things Would come home if they could But they are lost, you see As lost as lost can be And I must weep because my sheep Cannot return to me No, oh, no, they're not gone for good Yes, oh, yes, they are gone for good

-Oh, no! -Oh, yes!

-Oh, no! -Oh, yes!

Never mind, Bo-Peep We will find your sheep Wherever they may roam

-Dry your tears, Bo-Peep -Have no fears, Bo-Peep Very soon your sheep will be home For a while, Bo-Peep Try to smile, Bo-Peep And keep this fact in mind When they're ready to They'll come home to you Wagging their tails behind BOY: Bo-Peep! WOMAN: We'll find them.

What is it, Bobby?

-I know where the sheep are. -You do?

I followed their tracks. Do you know where they led to?

-Where? -To the Forest of No Return.

The Forest of No Return!

The Forest of No Return!

We'll never get 'em back.

Thank you anyway, Bobby.

I think it's a slick trick, a rotten plot.

Miss Mary.

Yes, Mr. Barnaby?

Remember my offer. I'll be awaiting your decision, my dear.

Now she'll have to reconsider. Yes, even this very night.

Well done, gentlemen.

Not now.

Tomorrow, when the swelling goes down.

Be in my attic when the bank opens.

Don't worry about anything. Just try to get some sleep.

Everything's going to be all right.

Come on, get into bed, now.

-What's the matter, darling? -I'm so sorry I lost the sheep.

And I know it's my fault.

Don't worry about the sheep. They'll find their way home, you'll see.

Come on, get under the covers.

-Good night, children. -Good night, Mary.

Bills, bills, bills!

The price of milk and eggs and bread is rising every day Now with our bankbook in the red these bills are hard to pay If we stopped buying chocolate cake and lived on green string beans Exactly how much would it take to live within our means?

-Put down beans and cross out cake -Let me see, oh, dear me

-What a job to undertake -Milk plus bread, oh, my head Add, subtract and multiply Till you're overcome This is much too hard for us We can't do the sum

The stove and rugs and furniture will soon be repossessed This makes me feel quite insecure and mentally depressed Would we be better off somehow by living in a tent?

How can I pay the mortgage now and save the 6%?

Picture us inside a tent Beastly poor, insecure We must save the 6%

Six times X, how complex Numbers always stick our brain Why are we so dumb?

This is much too hard for us We can't do the sum I'm not a great financial whiz Of that there is no doubt The outcome of our income is our income's all gone out If we walk on our hands with care instead of on our feet Would what we save on shoe repair suffice to make ends meet?

Walking on our hands with care Off our feet, make ends meet Saving on our shoe repair Leaving holes in our soles What should we be adding to or subtracting from?

This is much too hard for me I can't do the sum Looks like there's no hope for me I can't get out of debt If I marry Barnaby That's the end, why pretend?

Am I doing right or wrong?

My heart feels so numb No use trying anymore I can't do The sum


She just can't marry that nasty old Barnaby.

-She mustn't! She can't! -Say!

If we go and find the sheep and bring them home, then she won't have to marry Barnaby.

But the sheep are in the Forest of No Return.

-What's the matter? You scared? -No.

All right, then, let's go.

(RINGING BELL)

Hear ye! Hear ye! A meeting of the town.

Hear ye! Hear ye! All assemble!

All assemble!

An important announcement.

A meeting of the town.

All assemble!

Friends...

You are gazing at a happy man.

If he's happy, I'm a chicken.

I'm about to take a bride.

Tomorrow, this little lady will become Mrs. Barnaby.

Mary!

I'm sure we'll both be happy.

-Will we not, my sweet? -Oh!

Poor Mary!

-I'd like to belt him! -Sylvester!

To sing and dance and entertain you, I have hired a band of gypsies.

I'm sure they'll brighten up this happy occasion.

And...

Here they come!


Gypsies, we are the gypsies And we are here today and gone tomorrow Cheerful, we're always cheerful Our life is nothing but a happy song

(CROWD CHEERING)

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Roderigo, you realize these are the same gypsies we sold Tom to?

Shouldn't you be smiling, my dear?


A wandering vagrant am I A product of sheriffs' evictions A gypsy by birth I have roamed half the earth Telling fortunes and making predictions

My skill is a magical art I'm not just the usual swami I don't entertain With fake legerdemain And my breath doesn't reek Of salami Floretta, Floretta the gypsy is here In telling your fortune she's made her career Your past and your future she quickly can see She knows all that has been and what is to be

Your past and your future I quickly can see One glance at your palm And it's all known to me

Come forward, my lovely young maid Your name, as I make out, is Mary I see in your palm you are lonesome for Tom Crying over his obituary

-But your darling Tom is alive. -CROWD: What?

-CROWD: What? -Yes.

And I can see much love and laughter This line of your life shows that you'll be Tom's wife And forever live happily After Floretta, Floretta of brilliant renown It's Mary's good fortune that she is in town Her past and her future she quickly can see She knows all that has been and what is to be

Now this is the palm of a cad A sly reprobate and a mean one Corrupt and malicious Conniving and vicious A scoundrel if ever I've seen one He seeks a young maid for his wife While plotting her sweetheart's abduction The crimes he's involved in will one day be solved And result in his utter destruction Floretta, Floretta of brilliant renown Old Barnaby's sorry that she came to town Observe now, dear friends And please try to stay calm Goodbye to Floretta And hello To Tom Tom!

Hide!

Come on!

Come on!

Going somewhere, boys?

No.

(WOODLAND CREATURES ECHOING)


GIRL: Where are you, sheep? BOY: Here, sheep!

-Here, sheep! -Where are you?

Come on, sheep. We're looking for you.

Where are you?

Look, Mary, a note.

"Dear sister Mary, please do not marry. Let that old Barnaby burn.

"We've gone with Bo-Peep to look for the sheep in the Forest of No Return."

-The Forest of No Return! -Poor children in that dreadful forest.

-We must go after them at once. -I hope we're still in time.

Now, gentlemen.

You insidious idiots! You stumbling bumblers!

I don't mind a double-cross or a triple-cross.

But see that you execute no quadruple-cross.

For this, to me, is insincerity.

Now, this time I want no mistakes. I want Tom disposed of.

As for Mary, leave her fate to me.

Come, let us pussyfoot.

-Sheep, where are you? -Please come home!

-Please, sheep, come here. -Dear sheep, please come home!

Here, sheep!

Hey!

Say!

Can't you read? Can't you see?

This is private property Hark the signs, plain and clear No one is allowed in here But since you're here, you should know We will never let you go You can cry, you can shout But you can't get out This is the Forest of No Return This is the Forest of No Return Those who stumble in Those who fumble in Never can get out

-We have come seeking sheep -Now, alas, you're in too deep

-We don't mean any harm -You have caused us great alarm

-Then we'll be off on our way -Sorry, but you have to stay

-We will cry, we will shout -Still you can't get out This is the Forest of No Return This is the Forest of No Return You have stumbled in You have fumbled in Now you can't get out Help!

Help!

Tom, quick, this way!

KIDS: Help! Help!

-Mary! -Mary, you're here!

Thank goodness you're safe. We were so worried about you.

-And look who's here. -Tom!

-Hello, Willie. -Tom, you're back!

-Tom, you didn't drown. -No, I'm fine. Just fine.

-But how are you? Are you all right? -Yes, we're all right.

-But we didn't find the sheep. -We'll find the sheep later.

But right now, we're going to take you home.

I think it's too dark to travel any more tonight.

We should settle down here till morning, and then we'll look for the sheep.

We can't leave anyway. We're captured.

-You're what? -We're captured.

-Yeah, the trees captured us. -The trees captured you?

-What trees? -All these trees.

They're all right. They're just a little tired.

Yes, of course. The trees captured you. All right.

Let's look for a nice spot to settle down until morning.

How about here?

Come on. Settle down.

-We saw trees that walk -Try to get some sleep

-They could even talk -Not another peep And they sang a song While they danced along Children, quiet, please Let's forget the trees

-We're not telling lies -I will take your word

-They had evil eyes -Darlings, that's absurd

-And they raised a fuss -And they threatened us Children, we suggest That you get some rest Go to sleep Slumber deep Drift away on fleecy clouds Above you Close your eyes Sail the skies Nestle gently near the ones Who love you Go to sleep

All right, boys, let's go.

We'll sneak up...

Wake up! Wake up, everybody!

Wake up! Wake up, now!

Wait a minute, what's going on?

-We told you about these trees. -What's the meaning of this?

-Explain yourselves. -He wants an explanation.

The explanation is that you are out of bounds.

-These are restricted grounds. -You're not supposed to be here.

-Didn't you read the signs? -But what are you going to do with us?

What will be done with you, the Toymaker will decide.

-The Toymaker? -Naturally.

-You are on Toyland property. -Toyland?

Toyland?

Settle down, quiet!

'Twill do no good to fight We warned you not to fuss We firmly and emphatically demand you come with us Yes, we demand you come with us You'll have to take us in To Toyland must we go?

Are you inclined to change your mind?

Unanimously, no

Fall in, line up, forward march!

Toyland, Toyland Dear little girl and boy land While you're dwelling in it You are ever happy there Childhood's Toyland Wonderful world of joy land Wouldn't it be fun if we could stay there for evermore?

Toyland, Toyland We're on our way to Toyland Don't know when we'll get there But we know there's fun in store Toyland, Toyland Wonderful girl and boy land Once you leave its borders you can never return again This is as far as we go Here's where your troubles begin Go down to the ridge and over the bridge And all of you turn yourselves in

Not yet, boys.

The odds will be better when they're sleeping. We'll wait till nightfall.

Come, let us lurk.

Come on, hurry up!

Mr. Toymaker!

-Kids! They must be closed. -Yes, look.

(READING)

-What's over here? -Come on.

Gee, I wonder what's inside.

TOM: Looks like Toyland has been deserted.

-MAN: Mr. Toymaker? -It came from over there.

Mr. Toymaker? It's all ready, sir.

-For goodness' sake, I'm busy. -But there's...

I'm working on a new invention.

This is fantastic.

-What is it? -What is it? I'll tell you what it is.

What is the first thing a boy does when he gets a new toy?

I'll tell you. He takes it apart to see how it works.

But with my invention, he doesn't have to.

The toy is already broken.

I made that up myself, in the other room, there.

-Mr. Toymaker... -Was there something you wanted?

There's something I want to show you. Come with me.

This is my new invention.

-This is your invention? -Yes, sir.

-How do you like it, sir? -Fine, fine. It's awful nice.

Very nice. You do very good work, Grumio, beautiful.

Just a minute, sir. Don't you want to see how it works?

-How what works? -My invention.

-This does something? -Yes, sir.

-It makes toys. -It does?

This is my new toy-making machine. You'll never need hand-tools again.

This is the latest concept in automation. Here, let me explain.

-Let's say we want to make a doll. -Let's.

First, we diagram the problem on the oscillograph. Understand?

Just make a doll, that's all. Make a doll.

Yes, sir. Now we select the ingredients.

Blue eyes, blond hair, smiling lips.

Suppose we want to make it a girl doll.

Sugar, spice, everything nice.

One doll, demonstration purposes, at slow speed.

And now, automation takes over.

-Is that so? -Look!

(GEARS CRANKING)

Wonderful!


This is astonishing!

(ECHOING) Simply astonishing!

A real doll!

-Grumio, this is amazing. -Thank you, sir.

Can this machine make a toy boat, too?

Toy boat coming up, sir.

Now, I'll make a boat.

Hull, decks, smokestacks, lifeboats.

-What else? A mast... -Stop mumbling. Make the boat.

We want this one at medium speed.

And once more, automation reigns supreme.

(GEARS CRANKING)

-This is overwhelming. A doll, a boat. -My machine can make anything, sir.

-Grumio, you are a genius. -Thank you, sir.

And now, to work.

As we have a deadline to meet, I'll start the machine in full production.

Just a moment.

You'll start the machine? No, you won't.

I'm the head toymaker. I'll start the machine in full production.

You're just my assistant. Would you step aside?

If I need any help, I'll call you. Here, hold these, please.

If I want you, I'll call you Grumio or assistant.

It depends upon the mood I'm in.

We need wagons, we need marbles, we need dolls, we can use some roller skates, children love roller skates, some Parcheesi sets...

-I think you're overloading it, sir. -About four million each to start with.

-Four million? -We'll start at super speed.

(GEARS CRANKING)

Pick that up, assistant.

This is remarkable!

Oh, my!

-What's this thing here? -No, Mr. Toymaker!

-Please, get out of there! Go away! -Quite remarkable.

You're making it very difficult. Please, don't touch anything else.

This is wonderful!

Stop that, Grumio.

It's real and...

Grumio! This one's broken.

Get a little glue, hurry up!

There's something wrong.

(MACHINE DRONING)

Do something, for heaven's sake.

There's something wrong here. Look!

Something's wrong!

Look out, Grumio!

You know something? I think we should go to lunch.


This is catastrophic!

I'm ruined. Absolutely ruined.

There you are. You are, alone, responsible for everything.

Just you and you alone.

Did you say your invention was to make toys or to make noise?

Go! Get outta here!

Go on! Go to your room and invent something to destroy yourself.

I'll never make that Christmas deadline now.

My, my! This is terrible.

I beg your pardon, sir.

Why, who are you?

Well, my name's Tom Piper and...

-What are you doing here? -We came to see you.

-Who are you? -She's my sister.

You shouldn't be here. Don't you know it isn't right for children to see these toys until Christmas Day?

Well, we had a lot of toys around here, we just...

You can see... Why...

This is the only toy in the whole factory that isn't broken.

-We're really very sorry, Mr. Toymaker. -Thank you.

-But what are you doing here? -We're arrested.

The trees said for us to report to you.

Well, naturally you have to report to me.

I'm not only the head toymaker, I'm also the mayor of Toyland and the chief of police.

We noticed you have quite a problem, sir.

-Yes, it's quite a problem. -Is there anything we can do to help?

(BELL RINGS)

Half past October. The deadline, nearly.

The children will have no merry Christmas.

We're strong and willing to work. I think we'd make a fine assembly line.

We'd work day and night, wouldn't we?

-Yes, sure. -Please, let us help you.

You want to work?

Nobody wants to work these days.

It's not automation, but we've got our hands to use.

Well, maybe I could try it. What have I got to lose?

All right, folks, I'll put you to work.

I've been such a dope.

As long as there are people, we should never give up hope.

First, we have to clean up that assembly room.

We haven't got a moment to lose.

Painting eyes on funny faces Putting on a smile or frown Come, now! There's lots of orders coming in.

Bolting wheels on axle braces so they never will break down Children! We need 600 more of these, you know.

Cutting, sewing, pressing dresses Every little doll gets one Putting curls in all their tresses Isn't it a lot of fun?

-Christmas coming -Things are humming

-Busy, busy -In a tizzy Hurry, hurry, hurry till we're done Hurry, hurry, hurry till we're done

Gluing legs on chairs and tables Never any less than four Hey, you! Please pay attention to your job.

Cows and goats for tiny stables Put a dozen in or more Willie! This is no time for foolishness.

Packing, pounding, fitting, nailing Every little thing must run Some for flying, some for sailing Isn't it a lot of fun?

-Christmas coming -Things are humming

-Busy, busy -In a tizzy Hurry, hurry, hurry till we're done Hurry, hurry, hurry till we're done

Quack quack choo choo Teedle-ee dum dum dum Oh, that's good! We should be happy when we work.

Boom boom boom tick tick Teedle-ee dum dum dum Careful! You're gonna shoot him in the head.

Oink oink oink ding ding Teedle-ee dum dum duh Bang bang bang bing bing Teedle-ee dum dum duh Quack tick tick boom tick tick Bong tick tick bang bing bing Tum tum tum tum tum Teedle lum tum tum la la la Tum tum tum tum tum Teedle lum tum tum la la la Tum tum tum tum tum Teedle lum tum tum la la la Tum tum tum...

(WHISTLE TOOTS)

Children, this was a magnificent day's work. Magnificent!

Let's all wash up now and have supper.

Then early to bed so we'll be nice and fresh in the morning.

My goodness me, you're all so industrious.

Do you know something? I think we're gonna make the deadline after all.

Thanks to you, children.

-Good night. -Good night, Mr. Toymaker.

Come on, kids. Wash up now.

Night is about to fall.

Five, four, three, two, one.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Come, let us pussyfoot.


-Come on, now. Into bed. -I like making toys.

You can make them, but you mustn't keep them.

-Good night, children. -Good night, Mary.

Go to sleep.


Smiling eyes, golden hair Made with such loving care She's just a toy What a thrill it will be When she's found 'neath the tree By some little girl Christmas morning And her true life will start When she's taken to heart With childhood joy And you'll never believe All the love she'll receive Though just A toy I'd love to see 'neath my Christmas tree One special doll meant for me Smiling eyes, silken hair You'll need such loving care You're just a toy You were planned and designed With one person in mind To hold you and keep you Forever And you'll live for the love And the happiness of This lonely boy And each night, he will say In a whimsical way You're just A toy

Quickly, now's our chance.

I got it! I got it!

-Where's Mr. Toymaker? -He's in his room, asleep.

I've got to show him something, my new invention!

Mr. Toymaker? Please, wake up, sir.

-Don't shoot me! -Just a minute, please wake up.

This is my new invention.

-What? -My new invention.

-This is another of your inventions? -Yes.

-Shoot me. -Please, sir.

This is a scientific triumph. It's a biochemical breakthrough.

My new formula for toy-making is even better than automation.

-It's better? -Yes.

Good night.

Please, let me demonstrate. This really works.

Get back, please get back. This is very dangerous.

Watch closely, sir.

Big chair.

Toy chair.

-Pouff? Just like that? -Just like that.

A big table.

-Toy table. -This is provocative! Gimme that thing.

Careful. This is a very dangerous compound.

Two molecular discharges will result in complete obliteration.

Observe.

Very interesting.

-I see. Pouff, but not pouff pouff. -That's correct.

-Let me pouff that thing. -No, sir. You mustn't, sir.

One thing you must and should remember.

I am the head toymaker. You're just my assistant.

-That's a dangerous... -Have you seen our new invention?

-Don't aim it at them! -Wait till you see it make toys.

But it's very dangerous. You'll have to stand back.

Stand back.

Big desk.

Toy desk.

-I'm going to show you... -Don't point that, sir.

Wait till you see what I'm going to do now.

Big bed.

Toy bed.

This is simply wonderful!

Now I can make thousands of toys at one time.

Grumio, you are a genius.

-Tommy! -Mr. Toymaker.

Listen to me. Isn't this a wonderful way to make toys?

Yes, it is. It's a wonderful invention. But...

Where are you going to get the big things to reduce to small things?

Where are we going to get the big things to reduce to small things?

-Good question, sir. -I think so.

I think we could always...

I don't know.

You are a nut-wit.

You and your stupid inventions. Go! Go to your room.

Instantly.

Silly invention. I knew it wouldn't be any good the moment I saw it.

Whoever called you a genius?

Pouff on this pouff-gun!

I think I can use this pouff-gun. (CHUCKLES)

You and your nutty ideas.

Waking me up in the middle of the night when all I wanted was a little sleep.

My goodness, this is only good if my foot's asleep.

-What happened here? -I'll show you what happened.

It must be me. That Grumio got me so confused.

I need sleep so much. My goodness, Grumio...

Who are you?

Tom! Mary! Who are you? Get outta here!

Come, little one.

Do you realize that gun has reduced a human being?

Get outta here!

What's going on here? Let me down, you monster, you ogre!

There, there, little fellow. No harm will befall you.

The fact is, I'm going to need you.

I want to go to sleep! What's going on here? Let me down!

Put me down, you monster, you ogre. I just want to go to sleep!

Ah, yes.

There's a safe place to keep you till I need you.

This gun will make our job much easier.

Now for our next victim, Tom.

Follow me, boys.

Please, don't let him do that to Tom.

-Stop! -I beg your pardon?

After talking things over, we've decided not to take part in your diabolical plan.

Consider us no longer in cahoots. Furthermore, we are going to expose you to everybody.

-Won't you reconsider? -Not a chance.

Gentlemen...

There's no use in talking about it, we want nothing more to do with...

Mr. Barnaby! Please, you wouldn't shoot us, would you?

Mr. Barnaby, please, sir!

Peek-a-boo.


Please, go away, Mr. Barnaby!

Go away! Please, leave us alone!

Good evening.

Mr. Barnaby! What are you doing here?

I've come for you, my dear.

How dare you come into my room.

-Tom! -No need to scream.

Your little Tom is quite close by.

And I do mean your very little Tom.

(GASPS)

(BARNABY LAUGHS)

Oh, no!

I will now, at last, have your hand in marriage.

Never! Never! Never!

May I remind you that a little overdose of...

Stop! Stop!

I'll do anything you say.

Of course you will.

Come, my dear.

-Now, if you folks are ready. -Are you ready, dear?

Are the witnesses ready?

And the best man?

Now, by the power vested in you as the mayor of Toyland, proceed with the marriage ceremony.

We are gathered here to witness this young lady making her first step toward unhappiness.

-She's gonna marry you. -What?

I was just trying to liven things up with a little humor.

Never mind the humor. Perform the ceremony.

We are gathered here to unite this man with this poor unfortunate girl in marriage.

Do you, Barnaby, take Mary to be your wedded wife?

To keep her in sickness, in adversity, in poverty, in tragedy, in disaster...

-What are you doing? -I was trying to talk you out of it.

I'm warning you.

Do you, Barnaby, take Mary to be your wedded wife?

I do.

-Sure you don't want to think it over? -I do not.

No, I can see that you don't.

Now, do you...

Do you, Mary, take this man to be your wedded husband?

I do.

That's funny. I take him to be your grandfather.

Will you stop this infernal stalling?

On with it!

For heaven's sake, such a dreadful temper.

I'm glad I'm not marrying you.

I am marrying you, but I'm marrying you to her.

MR. TOYMAKER: Now, where was I?

BARNABY: Will you hurry up? I want to get married.

All right, all right.

Now, let me see...

BARNABY: Will you please tell me what the trouble is now?

MR. TOYMAKER: All right, just a minute. Won't be a minute.

So, we are gathered here...

(HORN BLOWING)

(HORNS BLOWING)

(HORN BLOWING)

Come on!

Drummers forward!


Now, let me see...

-Where was I? -You were right...

-...here! -Thank you. Thank you very much.

(HORNS BLOWING)

What's that?

They're playing the wrong music.

-Get on with it anyway. -MR. TOYMAKER: Right.

Forward march!


Eyes right!


-Where are my glasses? -They are on your head.

So they are. Thank you.

BARNABY: Let's have no more of these delays.

MR. TOYMAKER: Now, take her hand.

MR. TOYMAKER: Now comes the good part. If there is anyone, any man or any woman, for that matter, who has good reason why this marriage should not take place, let him or her, if... You know, whichever it is, let them speak or...

Stop!

Barnaby, you scoundrel, unhand that girl!

Look who's run away to become a toy soldier!

Take cover, Mary.

Buglers!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Give him a broadside!

Fire!

Fire!

Ooh!


Sound the charge!

Fire!

TOM: Infantry, attack!

TOM: Give him a broadside!

Fire!


My toys!

Now for the toy general.

MR. TOYMAKER: Watch out, Tom!

Fire!

Bombs away!

That's enough of this horseplay.

MARY: Tom, look out!

This is better.

MARY: Mr. Barnaby!

MARY: Stop him! Don't let him get away!

Halt!


Come on, Barnaby! Fight like a man.


MARY: Look out, Tom!

Ah!


I've got it! Mr. Toymaker?

Here I am. Grumio, I'm down here.

Well, sir. It appears you need a shot of my new invention.

My restoring formula.

-Grumio. -Yes, sir?

-You are a genius. -Thank you, sir.

Hey, Grumio!

How about us?

Take care of my friends.

-My friend and I'd like to thank you. -Grumio, please. Help Tom!

Anything you say, Mary. Where is he?

Here I am.

You can't seem to get it through your thick skull that I am the head toymaker and you are just my assistant.

Now you got it.

Step aside.

Allow me.

Darling, you were so brave. I'm so proud of you.

You've been playing with the toys.

That's right, children. We've been playing with the toys.

MR. TOYMAKER: That's right, we were playing with the toys.

(RINGING)

Tom and Mary, Tom and Mary Goodbye. Good luck to you Tom and Mary, Tom and Mary Your beautiful dream has come true Two lives blended as intended While all the world, in tune Smiles divinely, for you're finally On your honeymoon

ALL: Oh!

Tom and Mary Tom and Mary Goodbye. Good luck to you Tom and Mary, Tom and Mary Your beautiful dream has come true Two lives blended as intended While all the world, in tune Smiles divinely, for you're finally On your honeymoon