Babylon 5 S5E8 Script

Day of the Dead (1998)

[indistinct chatter]

Anything to declare?

I have nothing to declare, my dear man, except my genius.

[robotic voice] And I have nothing to declare except Rebo's genius either.

[all laughing]

Zooty, zoot, zoot, zoot.

(Garibaldi) Sounds like they're through immigration already.

Sir, what do you know about Brakiri religious customs?

Oh, uh, let's see, um, not a thing.

All I know is that they hate comets.

Even mentioning of a comet to a Brakiri is some kind of, like, awful taboo. Death.

It's the symbol of death. Why do you ask?

Well, they want me to sell them a piece of Babylon 5 just for tonight for, uh, religious reasons.

It reminds me of my senior ex-wife.

What is it? Candy.

Only for carbon-based life forms who can metabolize sugar.

Otherwise, it's decorative ornament.

How much?

You are Centauri emperor-to-be.

In "Universe Today."

Him? I am Londo Mollari.

Tell me, Noble Mollari who would you meet of those who have gone before us?

Of the dead?

I would meet, um, the first emperor.

I have several bones to pick with him.

They are a gift. Oh, no.

I insist. Oh.

May the comet bring you wisdom this night.

Yeah.

They are in aid of what?

A Brakiri harvest festival?

Tonight is the Day Of The Dead.

Tonight the dead return.

(Kosh) And so it begins.

(male #1) There is a hole in your mind.

(Sinclair) What do you want?

(G'Kar) No one here is exactly what he appears.

(Sinclair) Nothing's the same anymore.

(Hague) Commander Sinclair is being reassigned.

(Londo) Why don't you eliminate the entire Narn homeworld?

(Elric) I see a great hand reaching out of a star.

(Sebastian) Who are you?

(female #1) President Clark has signed a decree today declaring..

(Sheridan) These orders have forced us to declare independence.

(Bester) Weapons, supplies..

(Sheridan) ...get off their encounter suited butts and do something.

(Zathras) You're the one who was.

(Kosh) If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die.

(Lorien) Why are you here?

Do you have anything worth living for?

(Delenn) I think of my beautiful city in flames.

(Sheridan) Giants in the playground.

Now get the hell out of our galaxy.

We are here to place President Clark under arrest.

[theme music]


[doorbell chimes]

Yes?

Lennier.

What a wonderful surprise.

Well, I thought you were in deep space.

I'm between training cycles.

Well, look at you. You look so good.

Anla'Shok training must agree with you.

How long will you be staying? Not long.

It is the Brakiri Day Of The Dead.

I could not miss it. I will confess.

I have never heard of this festival.

Well, I read an account of it when I was a young priest.

It has always haunted me.

It occurs one night roughly every 200 years.

The Brakiri contemplate and honor those who've gone beyond but there have been some very strange stories told of this night.

I had a few days leave coming and Babylon 5 is easier to visit than Brakir so I came to learn.

Y-your partner, he's well?

My husband.

Yes, he's, um, he's very well.

Right now, he's, um, he's hosting a cocktail party for, uh, Rebo and Zooty.

'Yeah. Later tonight, we are having dinner with them.'

Rebo and Zooty are here?

Zoot zoot?

This is truly a day of wonders.

Humor is truly a universal element.

Like hydrogen.

The two people who have honored us with their visit today have brought joy to so many.

Now they were born under other names.

But they are known across the universe as Rebo and Zooty.

[all cheering]

Zooty, zoot, zoot.

Now with all the trauma that we have endured lately it gives me enormous pleasure to confer upon them..

...the freedom of Babylon 5.

[applause]

Hm.

[laughs]

I have written a speech, which I will recite in English and which Zooty has translated by himself..

(all) With the machine.

...into his own universal language.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. President alien races with ears, alien races without ears and Zooty's friend Bingo, the invisible fish.

We..

[laughs]

We have..

Oh, this is a moment you can tell your children about, captain.

I'll get on to having some right away.

What?

I said I have an appointment with the Brakiri ambassador.

I'm on my way.

Long life to you. And to you, ambassador.

Here. For you. The skull is for eating.

The comet is a gift from all the Brakiri on Babylon 5.

It is of great religious significance.

You must not refuse it.

Well, it's very beautiful. Thank you.

I must, of course, report the gift.

I've, uh, I've taken your request under advisement in my capacity as captain of Babylon 5--

And everything is okay.

We can purchase Babylon 5 for the Brakiri.

It must be ours by sunset.

Well, it's certainly an unusual request.

We can normally only rent space around here.

But we must buy it.

If we rent it, it is not Brakiri.

It's yours, not ours.

We'll give it back. It's yours again at sunrise.

I understand that, ambassador.

In this case, I can understand that an exception might need to be made.

Just my own personal curiosity, uh, it's the Day Of The Dead but it takes place at night?

The Brakiri are night-dwelling.

I see. Well, everything seems to be in order.

Captain! Ah, please forgive this intrusion.

I came as soon as I realized what was happening.

Uh, G'Kar, as you can see, I'm rather busy, but I believe you know Ambassador Kullenbrak, he's here to--

I know. That is why I came.

I strongly advise you against this transaction.

It is dangerous and foolish and unwise.

Religious toleration is foolish?

This is not a matter of toleration.

You do not know what you are doing.

The Declaration of Principles of the Alliance.

You are familiar with it, I trust?

I wrote it.

It states that religious belief shall be sacrosanct.

Captain, I repeat, you do not know what you are doing.

I believe the captain knows exactly what she is doing and I and all the Brakiri on Babylon 5 appreciate it.

I'm sorry, G'Kar. Shall we?

Now you understand that there is only one comet in the Brakiri solar system and it signals the Day Of The Dead.

The comet represents death to all Brakiri and the line that we make here shows us Brakiri territory.

That's completely fascinating, ambassador.

Fascinating, exactly.

Now I am standing on Brakiri homeworld until planetary sunrise.

Now I am standing on Babylon 5.

Now I am on Brakir. Now Babylon 5.

So my quarters are on the Brakiri side of the corridor with my bed in them and a shower and I...hear them call me.

Uh..

[bell rings]

[chanting in foreign language]

Come in, come in.

This is Delenn, my wife and the head of the advisory board for the Alliance.

Madam, we are Rebo and Zooty.

N'trol ampurk'assi lecococ ornell.

W-w-w-what did you say?

You see, uh, Minbari humor is based not on physical danger or embarrassment or rejection like human humor but rather on the failure to obtain, uh emotional or spiritual enlightenment. means both a small fish..

[laughs]

...and-and the pleasure you get from meeting someone for the first time.

Y-you've studied Minbari humor?

Yeah, Minbari humor, Narn humor, most forms of humor.

Ah, what's for dinner? Something smells great.

Uh, you know, I-I was, I was really hoping to talk to Zooty you know, without the machine.

Yeah, he, uh, he never breaks character.

Not even, not even around me.

In-in ten years, I've only heard him say one word without the machine.

Oh. Oh. Wh-what's the word?

Why. Oh, just curious.

No, no. That, that was the word, why, uh..

In ten years, I haven't figured it out myself.

'John?' Oh, coming. Yeah.

(man on TV) 'And now more laughs in the best of Rebo and Zooty.'

(Zooty) 'We do what we always do, Rebo.'

'We'll drive off that bridge when we succumb to it.'

(woman on TV) 'Zooty, you're my hero.'

(Zooty) 'Zooty zoot.'

(man on TV) 'We return to our Rebo and Zooty movie marathon'

'with "Sons of the New Desert."'

[donkey brays]

(Zooty) 'Rebo, is that your ass or mine?'


Oh.

My quarters are within the Brakiri territory.

Therefore I would like to sleep here tonight.

I-I will not be in the way.

Well, uh, sure.

Looks like a quiet night.

Looks can be deceptive.

Do not wake me.

(Zooty) 'But, Rebo, the man in the store'

'said it was a special kind of carrot'

'and that was why it whistled.'

(Rebo) 'Ah, Zooty, for you, 50,000 years of human civilization'

'was just something that happened'

'to other people, wasn't it?'

Lochley here. What's happening?

[beeps]

So..

...when you were emperor, it meant something.

Subduer of the Xon and the Shoggren.

Now, pfft.

Anyone can be emperor.

I can be emperor. Vir can be emperor.

And Vir can be emperor a small Earth cat can be emperor.

Come on. Talk to me.

It is the Day Of The Dead.

Hm?

No? Nothing to say?

Of course not. The dead stay dead.


Hello, Londo.

I came back.

Adira? Adira Tyree?

My Adira?

But you are dead.

I saw your body.

You were poisoned. Shh.

It is you.

I killed the man that killed you.

Do you know that?

But it didn't bring you back.

I'm to be emperor.

I am the savior of our people.

But..

I..

I think that I would give it all away..

...to have you back.

To have you beside me.

Oh, Londo.

My darling.

My poor, wonderful darling.

Oh, I missed you so. Mm.

[water running]

Alright, whoever's in there, come out with your hands up.

(female #2) 'Ooh, it'd be easier if you came in with me, Michael.'

[chuckles] 'You could soap my back.'

'It feels so good.'

'You have no idea how much I missed hot water.'

'You got a robe, cutie?'

Dodger?

It can't be.

'Look at you.'

You got old.

Tell you, I turn my back on you for five minutes and you got old, hm?

I thought you'd be pleased to see me.

But I, I thought you were dead.

Ah.

You know, the reports of my death they weren't even exaggerated a little bit.

Yeah, I'm, I'm dead.

But, you know, I missed you and how often do dead people get second chances?

What are you, some kind of robot or a clone?

This has got to be a Psi sting.

Bester, Bester, another one of his dirty little tricks, right?

Michael, it's no one's dirty little trick.

It's, it's just me.

Happy Day Of The Dead.

[beeps] Sheridan, then.

[automated message] 'Sorry, that location is out of range.'

[coughing]

Lizzie? Is that you?

Where is this place?

Zoe?

Oh, my God.

Zoe.

Zoe, do you know how you got here?

How long has it been?

Twenty years.

I came back to the apartment and I found you.

You were on the floor in the bathroom..

...and you had cockroaches all over you.

You choked on your..

You'd been, um..

Oh, Zoe.

Sorry.

You said the stuff would kill me, huh?

Wanna say I told you so? You can if you want.

So then what happened?

Uh, after you died, I, uh, I got scared.

I called my mom back home and ten hours later, my dad turned up with half a dozen off-duty marines from his platoon to, uh, take me back.

You know what?

Even after everything he'd done, I was glad to see him.

Then I, uh, I enlisted in Earthforce Cadet Corps.

And now I run a space station and I worry about the daily problems of a quarter million life forms.

We're in space? Yeah.

Cool.

Um, Zoe.

There was something I've always wondered ever since you were you know..

Did you do it on purpose or was it an accident?

I don't remember.

Hey, have you got any stuff around here?

We could have a little party. I stopped when you died.

You don't party?

Jeez, Lizzie, what'd you grow up to be?

We had such fun, didn't we?

Didn't we have such fun?

No, we were..

We were cold and sick and we were hungry all the time.

We did things to survive.

I've done my best to forget.

We lived in that burned-out hotel.

I was scared all the time my father was gonna find me.

No, no.

It was bad.

Yeah, but..

...we still had fun.

Are you a ghost?

I don't think so.

I don't believe in ghosts.

Anyway, I, I need to use the rest room.

Well, maybe you were transported here in time before you died.

No.

I died.

I do remember that a little bit.

It was bad, Lizzie.

[laughs]

Thank you.

[beeps] Yes?

(Corwin) 'I need to talk to you privately, Mr. President.'

Uh, alright. Uh, I won't be long.

Please, enjoy the kreebish.

Go ahead, lieutenant.

There seems to be a slight problem, sir.

It's kind of hard to explain.

We seem to be missing a piece of the station.

'We can't reach it. We can't communicate with it.'

(Sheridan) 'That piece is almost a square mile across.'

You can't just lose something that big.

'I agree, but it's still missing.'

Have you spoken to Captain Lochley about this?

Captain Lochley's quarters are within the zone, sir.

You know something, Dodger? Hm?

I never really believed in anything beyond death until now.

Me neither. Still don't.

You're kidding. No.

I don't believe in ghosts or reincarnation or any of that stuff.

I figure you got one shot at the golden ring and when you're done, pfft, blammo, you're done.

But you're, I mean..

Oh, maybe it's a Psi phenomena or a time thing or technomancy.

Look, I'm a marine.

I trust what I can feel or shoot or--

Or, yeah.

Look, weren't you meant to bring back, you know arcane knowledge from beyond the veil?

No, all the arcane knowledge I got I pretty much started out with.

Such as? Such as, um..

Alright, capers, those little things they put on pizzas pickled nasturtium buds and, um, any Emily Dickinson poem can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose Of Texas."

Come on. I won't bite you.


(male #2) 'Good evening, Ranger Lennier.'

I know you. I should hope so.

When I was alive, I was known as Mr. Morden.

It's always nice to be recognized.

You worked for the Shadows.

I did a lot of things, yes.

Looking back on it though, I think I just tried to make people happy.

Anyway, it's all just history now and I've paid for all my crimes, eh?

Why did you come back here?

I'm dead.

It's my job.

Why'd you come back here?

I came for wisdom.

You don't come to the dead for wisdom, Lennier.

My head was cut from my body.

Even now, it rots on a pole outside the Imperial Palace.

Birds have taken the hair for their nests.

Maggots ate my flesh and you want wisdom?

Yes, I do.

Wisdom.

Let's see, uh..

Delenn does not love you as you love her and she never will.

I know that.

No, you don't, not in your heart.

That's the problem, you see?

No one should ever wanna talk to the dead.

Go away.

Oops, sorry, it doesn't work like that.

You raised a ghost and now you have to listen to what he tells you.

Really?

[gasping]

He said he didn't wanna sleep in the Brakiri territory, sir.

Well, I don't blame him.

You know, Lochley said something about selling to the Brakiri a piece of Babylon 5 right before this happened.

There has to be a connection.

Do you know how long she sold them that area for?

No, sir. Hmm. Alright, check her log.

She'll have noted all the details.

And get me the Brakiri homeworld.

Someone there must be able to explain this.

Yes, sir.

[grunts]

Come on. You won't get there by walking.

The other side of that corridor is over 200 million light years away.

And the air is spread a little thinly in the middle.

Think there's any coffee in this place?

Why did you help me?

I know what kind of a man you were.

Give a dog a bad name and you can hang him with it.

You shouldn't listen to everything Sheridan tells you.

Actually, I'm surprised he's not here tonight since he died at Z'ha'dum.

Is there any coffee here or not?

Suit yourself.

So..

...do you like being a ranger, Lennier?

Would you like it any better if I were to tell you that you will betray the Anla'Shok?

You are lying.

I wish I were. No?

Sheridan did not die at Z'ha'dum.

If you do not know the present, how can you claim to know the future?

I'm talking about the future.

So what if I'm not up on recent history?

I'm prophetic, not infallible.

I think you are neither, but at least you have shown me there is truly life beyond death.

Not necessarily, but you'll find that out soon enough.

I am Anla'Shok and shall remain so until I pass beyond.

I could no more betray the Anla'Shok than my fingers could betray my hand.

Our talk is done. Your loss.

Got any music around here?

Yeah, there are some crystals right there but not too loud, huh?

I'm thinking here.

[beeps]

Lochley to C and C.

[automated message] 'Sorry, that location is out of range.'

It's acting as if the rest of Babylon 5 were a million light years away.

That's not possible. I don't see why.

Where we are is part of the Brakiri home planet.

That must be a long way from Babylon 5.

Oh, that's crazy.

Wait, I wonder..

On in link mode.

[beeps]

Locate all backup and emergency systems currently active.

Okay.

Shut down units D3 through X11 and reroute all power and communications through Epsilon Grid.

[automated message] 'Protected routine.'

'Passcode requested.'

Captain Elizabeth Lochley.

Passcode, two words.

Zoe's dead.

Bingo.

So this is the same Lise you told me about last time I was here?

Yeah.

She must be quite a woman.

Uh-huh, she is.

Do you ever tell her about us?

There was never an us to tell her about.

I'm jealous. Hm.

She's so lucky.

She's alive and she's got you, even though you did get old.

She gets to do this.

[beep]

(Lochley on screen) I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Mr. Garibaldi.

Uh, no, no. Uh, this is just, uh, just an old friend.

Dodger, this is Captain Lochley.

This is PFC, the late PFC.

Durman, Elizabeth, 56927.

Killed in action, sir. Yeah, thank you.

Mr. Garibaldi, I need to be put through to C and C.

You'll need to route the call via Proxima using a tachyon relay.

You want me to hack from Babcom into Stellarcom and back from my quarters?

Or to recommend someone else more competent than you are currently within Brakiri bounds.

You must be kidding. You have one half-hour.

Now I'm going to patch through a general broadcast explaining that we have the situation well in hand and that there is nothing to worry about.

Captain Lochley.

Londo. Hm?

[chuckles]

Again?

You make me feel so young once more, Adira.

And you make me feel alive.

[beep]

(Lochley on screen) This is Captain Lochley.

All of you within the marked Brakiri boundaries

'are experiencing certain extraordinary phenomena.'

What is she talking about?

Idiot woman. Destroying my mood.

Off. Off!

[beep]

But she was right.

Normality will return soon and when this night is done..

...so am I.

And you..

...you will go on to become Emperor Mollari.

I don't want to become emperor.

I want to stay here with you.

Londo, I'm a dream.

In the morning, I'll be gone.

And you will rule 40 billion Centauri..

...but not one of them will ever know you the way I know you.

Now if this works, I'll be able to convince the local information stream that it's actually originating on Minbar..

...streaming into Proxima..

...and from there..

[whispering] Come on, override.

You know, some guys would be flattered if a not entirely uncute dame returned from the dead to spend a night of lust and passion with them.

Yeah.

And they'd find other ways to prove their masculinity than hacking into the interstellar phone system.

Yes.

[beeps]

Captain Lochley, your comm channels are open.

Took me 17 minutes. Goodnight.

I mean, it's some guys' fantasy.

A love-hungry redhead who'll disappear in the morning never to be seen again.

I'm sorry, Dodger. What were you saying?

It's a good thing I'm only here another hour or so, cupcake.

Two weeks of this, I'd kill you.

Hmph.

You know, we're so impressed with how you're dealing with this whole thing.

I mean, this is a real emergency, and, uh you're so calm and collected.

We, we both admire you both very much and that's why we've decided--

(Zooty) We want to give up show business.

Yeah, uh, we wanna give it all up and, uh, and do something worthwhile.

Worthwhile?

That's right, like, you know, what you do.

I'm sorry for running out on you.

Well, I have done everything I can down there.

Uh, John, Rebo and Zooty are telling me they plan to give up comedy for politics.

You know, making people laugh is, is okay.

I mean, I, I enjoy getting a laugh but, uh, I don't know.

We wanna do something more important.

But you two have a real gift.

I mean, when things were bad under President Clark..

...you two said things on your show that no one else would dare to say.

But no one takes comedians seriously.

Isn't that a contradiction? No.

We say serious things in a funny way but when the joke comes, people stop listening.

Uh, the real comedy all happens in the senate.

They do, they do one idiotic thing after another but people listen because they say it seriously.

I don't know whether we're leaving comedy to go into clown school, but all I do know is that, uh, comedians don't matter.

Well, if you don't matter, nothing matters.

I mean, the only reason politics exist is to ensure that people have the freedom to laugh.

And to love.

And to love.

[beeps]

Yes?

(Corwin) 'Sir, there's a call'

'coming in for you on external relay.'

'It's Captain Lochley.' Patch her through.

Captain Lochley. Yes, Mr. President.

Captain.

Where are you calling from? My quarters, sir.

Mr. Garibaldi patched into Stellarcom.

Right now, I'm talking to you from two levels up and 27 light years away.

Don't ask. I don't understand it either.

Are you alright? Yes, sir.

Thank you for asking.

I'm pretty sure this situation will sort itself out at planetary sunrise when the area ceases to be Brakiri space.

Well, that's what the authorities on the Brakiri homeworld assured me.

Sir, you're breaking up.

(Sheridan) 'Uh, well, um, later on this morning' you'll have to tell me all about it.

0800 hours in my office.

Goodnight, captain.

[beep]

Well, time's nearly up.

When you remember me, Lennier think of me as a brief electromagnetic anamoly who told you some true things for your own good.

No, it-it is true. Listen, um..

♪ My candle burns at both ends ♪

♪ It will not last the night ♪

♪ But oh my friends and oh my foes ♪

♪ It gives a lovely light ♪♪

Okay, alright, alright, alright.

I will try one, okay?

♪ Because I would not wait for death ♪

♪ He kindly stopped for me ♪♪

Dodger.

Now I was raised a good Catholic boy, believe it or not.

Maybe..

Maybe one day we'll meet up in heaven.

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.

[humming]

And that's the message I was given.

So who is this Sheridan guy?

It doesn't matter.

So did you get married?

Married.

Um, actually, to that Sheridan guy.

Didn't work.

Did you have any kids?

No kids.

I wanted to have kids, a lot of kids.

Lizzie, I do remember my death.

I didn't wanna hurt you, but..

Yeah, I did do it on purpose.

I just couldn't go on.

Don't hate me.

I could never hate you.

(Sheridan) 'Captain, what do you think happened last night?'

'Did you have any of these ghostly encounters?'

Yes, sir.

Would you like to tell me about it?

With all due respect, sir, it was..

...intensely personal.

Well, that is pretty much what everyone tells me.

Okay, captain, let me get this straight.

You sold Babylon 5 to an alien race for the night who somehow transported a square mile of this station to their homeworld while apparently filling it with people temporarily returned from the dead?

Yes, sir.

Well, do you have an explanation as to why you did this?

Yes, sir, I thought it was a metaphor, sir.

I-I'll try to be more literal-minded from now on, sir.

Mm.

A-any idea yet what actually happened?

Well, the, uh, the high IQ boys back home think it might have been a device smuggled onto the station that somehow activates the parts of the brain responsible for memory.

And Zach is checking the air ducts to see if it was a gas used to create a similar effect.

And Mr. Garibaldi wants to blame the telepaths.

Of course, these days he's looking for grounds to blame them for everything from sunspots to hair loss.

So you have no idea what caused it.

No, sir. It's a mystery.

Yes, sir.

But frankly, sir, as long as no one got hurt and the effect seems to have been temporary I, I don't have a problem with that.

I think we need a little mystery once in a while.

Oh, and, uh, speaking of mysteries I have a message for you. It's from someone named Kosh.

What's the message?

"When the long night comes return to the end of the beginning."

Oh, uh, thank you, captain. That-that'll be all.

Captain Lochley.

Go ahead, say it, G'Kar, I told you so.

You warned me, I didn't listen.

You were right.

No, y-you were right and I was wrong.

The people who were within the Brakiri bounds last night they seem deeper, more at peace.

I wonder what I would have seen if I had slept in my own quarters last night.

Well, I hadn't thought that--

There's no profit in might-have-beens.

So we learn from our mistakes.

[laughs] You're so funny.

From now on, I will always watch you.

Zoot, zoot.

Very funny.

I thought perhaps you could perform at my inauguration.

However, to make a Centauri laugh I have to give you a piece of advice.

Sometimes we learn.

Let me buy you breakfast, captain.

[indistinct whispering]

What did he say?

Because it tells me to.

[theme music]


[theme music]