Bad Boys (1995) Script

What's this "having a picnic" in my car?

I'm not getting sex at home. Don't deny me this.

You sleep with a beautiful woman nightly.

"Married" means you sleep together, but you can't get none.

Watch it with all that shit, all right?

Where are your cup holders?

I don't have one.

$80,000 for this car and there's no cup holder?

It's $105,000, and it's one of the fastest cars on earth.

0 to 60 in 4 seconds.

It's a limited edition. You damn right!

No cup holder, no back seat.

It's a shiny dick with 2 chairs in it.

I guess we the balls, just dragging along.



Get it.

I can't get down there. You got an engineering flaw.

My shit ain't going down up in there.

Go! Titty-titty, strutty-strutty.

Make them want it.

I ain't cleaning up after you.

My hand can't get down there. When it does, it gets stuck.

Then you got this shit.

Get that fry.

This ain't Denny's!

I wouldn't buy from Denny's. I don't like how we been treated.

They bit. Let's gank these fools!

You ain't interested in the fry. You all up in that.

Get out.


What the fuck?! We've had a big week.

So get out of the car.

Damn! What you weigh, 350?

You're a chicken-eating fucker, right?

Why I always get the big motherfuckers?

Get out!

All right! All right!

Hold on!

Funny! Let me tell you how bad a day you're having.

We're cops.

And I'm a standup comedian...

...and I suck! So I need your car.

I ain't Wesley Snipes.

I just hang out with stupid friends who drive cars...

...that attract fucking attention!

I need to jump over this car and smack you in the head.

You're arguing over a fry! It's not about that.

It's your disrespect for my property!

Hey, hey! Shut up!

This is stupid! Hold the fuck on!

If you want some bad enough, come get some!

You like that shit?

Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57.

Now get me a fucking Handi Wipe.

Let's hear a joke, bitch!

What do you think? Looks like the real thing.

Remember your assignment?

I'm a decoy.

You are.

What are you doing?!


I just saw a policeman shot... South Miami and 1st Street. Help, please!

All units. Officer down.

A squad code 3.

All units respond and identify.

Officer down. We need additional ground units.

Air 3, Roger. Suspect or suspects unknown.

Gentlemen, it's clear.

We're inside.

We're in.

You got 20 minutes.

Goddamn tacos will kill me.

We got 12 minutes. Let's go.

Clear. We're in.

Move your ass. We got 6 minutes.


Ready to fire. Go!





Did you have sweet dreams?

You're so nasty.

You always saying you want quality time.

I got the time and you damn sure got the quality.

Come on now.

You know what it is?

I can't remember the last time we fell asleep together.


It's my job.

That's required.

I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning.

I feel lighter on my feet.

Keep it in your pants. I hear 3 little Burnetts coming.

That's cold.

You leave me here like a humping dog.

Hi, baby boy!

Daddy! Daddy! What's up?

At school, people say I look weird. They say my ears look funny.

I have that problem, I got the ears. But you know what?

They for you to listen to people's problems.

You're an angel. These are your wings.

James, stop! Would you take them off?

Don't make me come to your school. I'll arrest the principal.

Talking about my boy's ears.

Uncle Mike's in the house!

What's up?

Partner, partner!

Check it out.

What'd you take my food for?

Don't! I don't know where your lips were last night.

Did you have a date last night?

Did I!

Let me tell you. This girl was--

Don't tell my son your sleazy sex stories.

I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories.

Him neither. It gives him ideas.

Why put me in this? I'm with my babies.

Okay? Thank you.

Eat. Go on!

No problem.

Mike here.

Captain, I think you mean, "Get our asses down there, please."

Maybe not.

Hey, baby!

Where's Howard?

He's looking for you. He's been in better moods.


Get it done, goddamn it!

Welcome to our nightmare.

See this?

What's wrong with this picture?

Remember this room?

These flats look familiar?

There were these silver packets that looked like bricks.

Little red tags on them, about so high?

All that heroin, gone!

Our career bust. $100 million!

Gone! This is bad.

Let me call it what it is: Fucked up!

You got that right.

Hello, Alison.

You know Captain Sinclair, Internal Affairs's top watchdog.

I'd take that as a compliment, but I know you.

If you two want to get personal, we could step out--

It's nothing personal. I'm just doing my job.

I know one leak can turn this nightmare into a media frenzy.

That won't happen. We'll get the dope back before that.

Start by looking here. It had to be an inside job.

I'll find out about it.

Sanchez, Ruiz, you're late.

So they put this in for toxic drug fumes?

Brilliant design!

This was intelligent. I like this.

I didn't ask how he feels. What did he see?

What does he know?

Where were you last night?

Have your cousins bring it back and we can sleep.

We were going to, but we found a problem.

Your mama snorted up all the dope.

Get over there.

O'Fee is okay but has nothing to tell us.

They kill a decoy, it empties the station. Very smart!

But not a real cop, or the whole force would be on them.

This was your case. You're back on it.

Sanchez, Ruiz, back them up with whatever they need.

Shut your mouths!

It was Carrera's drugs in the first place.

But he was killed in prison. What about his crew?

Those idiots don't have the precision to do this.

But check them out.

They would have been in here with Uzis.

It takes brains do this.

Big cojones too.

What do you mean?

It would take a month to explain.

We've got nothing. What's the matter with you?

The guy who pulled this off knew what he was doing.

He left us a big "Fuck you."

Find out who installed the ventilating system.

That's cold. So's your mama's bed.

This could definitely be an inside job.

We got 72 hours before the FBI and DEA come and shut us down.

We'll be the bad guys.

The politics demand...

...that somebody take the rap, and it'll be us.

Just do what you do. Only faster.

Jojo, you still a chemist, right?

Cutting drugs and shit like that?

I don't know about that. I'm out of the drug business.

You know something.

I just said "no" to drugs.

You said "no" to drugs! What you into, Jo?


You're selling tires, huh?

You know nothing? Jojo don't know nothing.

I know tires.

You telling the truth? Would I lie to you?

Hey! You driving.

This is a waste of time.

In Maxie's line of work she definitely gets the 411.

Maxie! How'd I know I'd find you here?

We got to talk. Where can we talk?

The equipment room?

Behave yourself. I'm cool.

Listen, I need some help. Again.

What else is new?

Some major ill shit happened down at the P.D.

There's lots of heroin and cash involved.

There'll be some jolly young men who want to party.

What do you need?

Lots of people will talk to you, not me.

You mean customers?

Don't get in any wild shit. Just call if you hear something.

I think I will.

What are you doing?

Trying to keep my shit quick.

Right, you ain't getting none at home. You got extra energy.

We got anything?

Sanchez says the air conditioning contract went to...

...Manuel Arrona of Key Biscayne.

He works out of his house this week. That's the number.

He's not answering.

I guess we should leave.

Make a trip all the way here to high society for nothing?

No, man. We can peek in the windows.

That's okay.

I tripped. The handle just opened?

Right after I tripped. They must want us to come in.

Take a peek.


We're your new neighbors.

Don't be alarmed. We're Negroes.

No man! Too much bass in your voice.

That scares white folks. Sound like them.

We were wondering if we can borrow some brown sugar.

You fart?

No, man!

Dead guy.

Looks like somebody's home.

Let me take a stab at this one.

He sells the ventilation plans to the bad guys.

He gets rich, but dead. You're right on that.

I'm going to go call homicide. Wait!

Why do you act like this around corpses?

It's cool. I just--

Please? Look around.

The smell and the--

It's just unexpected.

It's looks like our buddy Arrona was a gambler.

Got dog track, jai alai...

Needed money to pay his debts. Bookie.

Damn, man!

Watch where you swing the dead leg!

My bad, my bad!

Damn this. I'm calling homicide.

I'm a narcotics cop.

Dead bodies...

...dead ends.


What's wrong?

Want to grab some burritos?

You drive slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.

Man, the transaction is done.

We ain't got shit. It's over.

We got it before, we'll get it again.

Got it all figured out, don't you?

You got to have faith.

By the time we figured out how, we'd be out of a job.

Scratch that! Everybody in the unit will be out of a job!

But don't worry!

They tend to think Mike Lowrey going to be all right.

Especially since they think you some rich kid playing cop.

Look, man, I ain't got no trust fund.

See, for me, no job, no check.

That's like all the other guys in the unit.

At least, most of us.

So I'm playing cop now?

This is a game? I'm just joking?

You always wanting to be Starsky or Hutch.

You know what?

I'm so sick of this bullshit!

I'm supposed to apologize for my family leaving me money?!

All I ever wanted to be was a cop!

I take it to the max every day.

I'm the first guy in and the last to leave a crime scene.

So fuck you! And fuck them!

And fuck anybody who got a problem with Mike Lowrey!

I love you, man. Fuck you, Marcus.

I do.

You're cool, man.

You're my partner. Shut up.

Slow-ass driver.

Driving like a bitch. Why I got to be all that?


I'll take us off this cliff, keep fucking with me.

Then it would be, what, two bitches in the sea?

Is that what you want? Shut up.

My wife know I ain't no bitch.

I'm a bad boy.

Bad boys, bad boys What you going to do?

What you going to do When they come for you?

Only models and that's all.

Max just dropped by. I got to go.

You want me to call around looking for the newly rich?

Are there any new guys partying a lot, spending lots of money?

This guy called me today, desperate...

...looking for new girls in town. Are you available?

It'll be a quick $2,000.

I got plans with Julie.

She's your roommate, right?

Bring her. She's cute, she's sexy.

She's not a working girl.

He's on speedballs.

He probably can't get it up.

Maybe we'll go check it out.

Could be the party I'm looking for.

A party at the Biltmore. That'll really rock.

I owe you one.

I'll just deduct it from the hundreds of favors I owe you.

Am I becoming a guest who won't leave?

No, I like having you live with me.

I'm an out-of-work photographer who can't cook.

Not a big upside for you there.

What hip individual inspired this visit to the Biltmore?

It's a favor for Mike Lowrey.

The cop I think you're a little bit in love with.

Maybe I am. But we're just friends.

If I were in trouble, he's the person I'd call.

I know, I know. I've heard this before.

You must be Max. Welcome.

I'm Eddie.

To the AI Capone suite.

I guess we're a little early.

This is Julie.

You like AI Capone, don't you?

I hadn't thought about it.

I'm not kidding about this being Capone's.

He had the place rigged with secret passageways.

10 minutes, we're gone.


One drink. One sip.

Just girl chat.

Where's the bathroom?

Upstairs on your right.

Watch your step.



Enjoy yourself. Relax.

Eddie's got some favors to play with.

That he does.

I should've told you about his party.

Well, now it's a surprise party.

Okay, Max, I think we've been here about 5 minutes too long.

I see you treat yourself well, Eddie.

I needed to blow off a little steam after...

...the move, you know.

So a little party with a few friends, that's all.

I was going to invite you guys.


Looks like I'm catering this.

I was looking for my 2 keys of dope. Now I know where they are.

Yours? It's our score.

And the girl? Nobody.

Just entertainment.

I'm Max.

Nice to meet you.

I like a woman who takes pride in her appearance.

Don't you?

I hate when a bitch lets herself slide.

You look like a model in that dress.

Will you model for me?

Oh, great! It's the goon squad.

You were a cop. You should know hookers talk.

You couldn't wait 4 more days until I made the deal?

I can't work with that kind of stupidity.

I got you connected inside.

I brought you my family.

It's my family now.

We're still friends.

What're you guys doing? You pissed him off.

You got blood on me again.

Someone's there!

Get her!

Get her!

What the fuck?!

Shoot her!

I got her. I got her!

Bullshit! What do you know about shooting?

I can't believe she made it!

Are you serious?

She jumped.


Find out who she worked for, and find out where she lives.

It's about fucking time!

Come here, look at this. See this guy?

He's dead, right?

Look familiar? Eddie Dominguez.

The ex-cop. Two points for you.

And there's high-grade heroin over there.

That's a headline Sinclair will love.

No sign of forced entry.

What is this? Looks like Beirut.

It's the AI Capone suite.

What can I say? Shit happens.

It's a shitty day.

Real shitty day.

We've got two shades of lipstick over here.

Someone's missing from the party.

Listen to me.

Your only function in life now is to find that person.

It's the only lead we have.

I'll check all calls to the room.

What you got over there?

Cover her.

He knew the girl?

We'll get the witness and get the fools who did this.

See if you can catch a ride with Howard.

Where you going?

Checking calls made to Lois Fields. Maxie worked for her.

I'll come with you. No, we'll catch up later.

You okay?

I'm cool.



Look, baby, I know quality time was my idea.

Don't talk about it.

Hold on, babe.

I need a full file on Eddie Dominguez.

Just a minute.

I got on the red one.

The red one? With the snaps? Couldn't you wait?

You're never home.

All his files are blocked.

I don't care about his personal files. He's dead. Unblock it.

Screw you, that's illegal.

No, screw you!

Are you talking to me?

No, it's a term you use. "Screw you" is a cop term.

You ain't screwing nothing!

Goddamn it!

Where's Lowrey?

I just paged him.

He's following up this Lois Fields lead.

The madam?

Requesting backup. 614 Reach Road.

That might be him.

Lowrey's desk.

I need to talk to Detective Mike Lowrey.

Can I help you?

You can get me Detective Lowrey.

Is this another paternity case?

No, it's another murder case, you twerp!

You mean the murder case at the Biltmore tonight?

I've just seen my best friend murdered.

I'll only talk to Mike Lowrey.

Why only Mike Lowrey?

None of your business. I talk to Lowrey or I blow town.

Mike, phone! Telephone!

He's coming right now. Hold on.


I ain't got time.

This is the witness from the hotel.

He just got out of the john. Hold on.

Talk to her now or she'll walk. I can't be Mike.

She's going to walk out.

This is our witness. Calm down!


This is Lowrey.

He doesn't talk that way. Talk like him.

You don't sound sexy enough.


You don't know me. My name's Julie Mott.

I was Max Logan's best friend.

Calm down, calm down.

Talk to me now.

She said if she ever needed anything...

I need your help.

Give me the address.

All right.

It'll be okay. Mike's to the rescue.

I'm on the way.

I'll find Lowrey. I can't go.

You got to go!

Get Mike to handle this.

Get to this address now. Get up!

You won't see your wife for a month! Get up!

Get this fucking door fixed!

Mike Lowrey.

No, easy. Mike Lowrey.


Who's there?

Mike Lowrey.

How do I know it's Lowrey?

'Cause, I'm Mike Lowrey!

We ain't got much time.

Hold your badge up to the peephole.

I won't let you in until you do.

No way!

What was that for? You're not him!

What do you mean?! You've never met him!

Max described you differently!

I'm undercover!

Prove it!

I know Max from way back. I helped her brother get out of jail.


Sometimes we got together to bump and grind...


Give me the bat!

Fine! You don't want to believe me?

You go at this shit alone!

I forgot.

The bad guys probably know where you live...

...and are coming for you. Good luck!

I saw the whole thing.

I watched him shoot her like she was nothing.

Shut the door.

Look, lady.

You ain't got no more bats, golf clubs...

...or anything like that to swing at me, do you?

I knew Max, okay?

I cared about Max also.

I'm just here to help you.

You're not what I expected.

I ain't expect to walk into Yankee Stadium either.

We got to get out of here, okay? Let's go.

I've got to get my dogs. Dukie!

Lukie, Dukie, whatever!

You got a back door?

Where we going?

Protective custody.

Fuck that! I'm only dealing with you.

A cop threw that party at the hotel.

Former cop. We got rid of him long ago.

Come on, Luke!

Listen, if you want to live, you got to trust me.

Here, doggie! Come on, doggie!

Who the hell was that?!

There is too much killing going on!

Go after them!

I'll go around front!

Come on, move your ass!

Get in the car!

Go, goddamn it! Fucking door!

Go, goddamn it, go!

How did you miss them? You fat fuck!

Watch your fucking mouth!

Lose weight, you'd have caught them.

I'd like to squeeze your fucking head.

Now you're fucking in trouble!

You get the license plate? I got the plates.

You cockeyed fuck!

This is a getaway car? We won't get away from anything!

Is this a family station wagon?

You got a baby seat in the back!

It's an undercover car, okay?

I know they saw my license plate.

Were those the guys who shot Max?

I only saw bullets. You tell me what they look like.

I was busy trying to keep a bullet out of you.

I need you to look through some mug shots... identify Max's shooter.

Where? Protective custody.

I told you I'm not going into protective custody!

I'm not playing.

You really pissing me off. I'll book your ass!

I'll develop amnesia. I suddenly feel a case of it coming on.

Fine, where would you feel safe?

You want to do protective custody?

In-home protective custody, at your place. I can handle that.

Yeah, my place. My place is--

No way!


Yeah, my place is the shit.

Mike Lowrey's place. You right.

That's the best idea you came up with tonight.

Wait here.

Wait here.

Detective Burnett!

How are you? Mr. Lowrey's not here.

He said I could use his place.

He didn't mention it to me.

Who's the chick? How's your wife?

Fine, she's fine.

Your kids, they're good? Family's the most important thing.

Is it?

Mr. Lowrey said you got a baby factory going on at your house.

Here you go.

If that ain't enough, I'll run you in for extortion.

You know, I'm so stupid sometimes.

Now that you mention it, Mr. Lowrey mentioned you'd come by.

Did he say he had a key?

Hang out.

Here. Is this it?

You're hurting me.

Thank you. Good to see you. Good to see you.

Have fun.

It's not like that.

It's not like that.

Come on.

Watch your step up through here.

I must've left some incense burning.

Welcome to Casa de Lowrey.

This is kind of...

I'm always moving my switches.

I'm always decorating, so sometimes I just don't know where shit is.


Why am I tripping on shit I know is there?

You found a light switch.

I should have known it was there since I decorated the place.

This is Yvette.

Ignore this. It's one of my freaks, Yvette.

She's always calling, got to have it.

Don't call here no more now, freak! Just one of my freaks.

All this on a cop's salary?

Well...'s honest money.

I'm a second-generation rich kid.

If you're not in it for the paycheck, are you an action junkie?

If that what you want to call it.

I don't mind bats swung at my head, bullets grazing my ass.

Gives me a rush.


...I'll give you a broad stroke of the place.

I got some T-bones in the fridge for Lukie and Dukie...

Sorry, the fridge is this way. I confuse my own shit.

Wait, are you going to leave me here alone?

I must go to the P.D.

These are Miami's peak crime hours, you know.


They said this deal was going down in 4 days, and I, you know...

...obviously seem to be kind of a major glitch in their--

You ain't with the bad guys now. You're with the cops.

With Mike Lowrey. You with the cops.

Everything will be all right. Trust me.

I'll be back.

I know that it's no time to joke, but remember in the movie when...?

All right, all right.

Thanks for everything, Mike.

I'm going.

You're one of those in and out guys.

It's not like that, Chet.

She's a witness. Right.

Keep an eye out. No problem.

Listen to me. Hear me.

Me? That's right.

All right, the moment Lowrey gets in, you have him call me at home.

At my home. Call you at home.

Don't let him go upstairs.

What? But he lives here.

I could lose my job.

Chet, trust me on this, okay?

Call you from here.

Don't let him up.

No problem. Important witness.

Thank you.

I got an idea. I'm off in 2 hours, I could go upstairs...

...and watch the door.

Like cops do in the movies.

I got a magazine and everything. And I don't let anybody in or out.

All kidding aside, I want to help.

You're helping. Do that from here. Can you?

Yes, I can.

Fine. That helps. From here, okay?

It's funny that you ask me, because I was going to be a cop.

I took the test and everything. Just didn't work out.


I know, you're my deputy.

I am. From here.

Watch out.


Take care, chief.

I'm a deputy.

Don't "honey-baby" me, you smell like perfume.

And you don't have your wedding ring on!


I went undercover...

...and it required taking off the ring.

I got the ring. I put my hand in my pocket to get it...

...and it's right back on.


Can I get a pillow?

If it isn't the guy who doesn't return phone calls.

Where you been the last 12 hours?

I paged you all night!

We got a situation here that you need to know about.

Look, Marcus...

...I got a dead madam, a concussion and a bad headache.

Let me tell you what I did last night.

I had to sleep on my couch. I woke up with a Power Ranger in my ass.

While we're discussing my ass, I damn near got it blown off.

The good news is I got a witness.

Let me tell you about her. She likes to--

You sound like a nagging wife.

I'm a nagging...?

See what happens when you go off alone? You get into shit.

Like shit don't happen when you're there.

That ain't the point.

If your partner pages you, you should call him back.

I want to meet the man who whupped your ass.

I want to meet who whupped Shaft's ass.

Look at me. You don't know what I've been through.

My wife kicked me out of my happy home.

But, no. You got to go off by yourself.

"I got this, partner, I got this." Bullshit.

I'm feeling much better, thanks.

I'll get him.

I'll beat you up.

Did you hear what I said?!

I did, because I was there when I said it.

I told you. I told you to secure a witness...

...not shoot up a neighborhood.

Not to do another dead body. Just get the dope back, quietly.

This whole situation is getting out of control.

You're damn right it is!

I had to pass a pop quiz before she believed I was him.

Going, it's going...

Shit, little off.

I haven't killed anyone today.

Do you want me to yell at you?

Listen, this witness...'s the only good news I got, okay?

You guys are bad news.

What does that mean? It means if you must be Mike Lowrey...

...I don't give a shit, that's who you'll be!

Wait a minute, what the hell is going on?

I was getting them all in before you came.

Can somebody talk to me, please? What's going on?

These fools could have seen my license plate.

Where is she?

His place.


You left her alone?

Our only witness?!

You left a hooker in my apartment?!

The girl is not a hooker, as far as I know.

I had to stash her somewhere. Her and her dogs, Luke and Dukie.

You left dogs in my house? There's dogs and a hooker in my house?

Add some chimps, we'll have a carnival.

She's not a hooker. Respect my stuff.

Can you please-- Shut up!

For years, Sinclair has tried to pin something on me.

I'm always taking it for you. Do it for me!

If this witness IDs the shooters, maybe we catch our bad guys.

But until then...

...until then... are Mike Lowrey.

You be him, that's what you are.

You're him! I don't want to hear it!

You be you.

But not in front of her! You're him, you're you!

Can we get a time-out? Am I the designated homeless?

Does it look like I care? Whatever it takes, all right?

What did she say to you?

The shooters will make their drop in 4 days? So we got 4 days.

What kind of plan is that?

I can't be shacked up with her.

I have a family to look after. My wife will kill my ass.

You don't like your job, quit!


I'll stay at the house with Theresa and the kids.

Thanks, but no thanks. You won't last 5 minutes with my family.

Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.

Yo, man...

...we ain't the Cosbys.

Let's go, I got this.


Everybody wants to be like Mike.

You're going to be retired like him too.

I'd have dunked it on your ass.


I never-- Look, woman, I done told you...'s a federal subpoena.

Am I going to tell them no?

I don't know. Why can't he go?

Why can't you go?

I wanted to, but Captain Howard said I'm irresponsi--

No, he said, "loose cannon." Because I be shooting in public.

Out of nowhere sometimes.

No, man.

Please. All right.

Look. The neighborhood has lots of break-ins.

I can handle it.

I know, but I'm worrying about me. Mike's going to stay here.

Take care of y'all. Just till I come back.

Who'll pick up the kids from day care? Mike can't do it.

Are you listening to me?

I read a book that could probably help y'all.

Can you go down and have a Coke?


All right.

Want something?

Bring me a Coke.

Want one?

I'm fine, thanks.

All right.

Explain it to me. There's a problem with our chemistry set?

It's not a chemistry set.

He knows it ain't a chemistry set.

So what is it?

The cutting agent is a highly volatile...


I don't care. The ether--

I don't care! I don't care!

I'm not a fucking chemistry teacher.

What is the problem?!

There's too much moisture down here.

It's totally fucked.

Shut up!


What else?

It's taking longer to cook than we planned. If we rush it...

...we can't sell the drugs.

You're fucking with my timetable. I gave you a deadline.


Do you understand?! I do.

You dressed?

Yeah, I am.

We must go through some mug shots. I'll hook into the computer.

And we can do this. Who's that guy in the photos?

Sometimes I don't look and forget all those pictures was here.

That's my partner. That's my partner, Marcus Burnett.

I've never seen anything like this before.

I see how it may throw you a little bit.

It's a cop thing.

These pictures are here for each time he saved my life.

It's the same with him. At his place, just pictures of me.

It's like a shrine. Just a reminder.

When I saw it, the whole wall, I thought maybe they were... of your lover.


I thought you were gay.


Nah, nah, nah.

I didn't mean to offend you. It's okay to be a homosexual.

You're not listening. It's not registering.

Believe me. Did you sleep in the bed? You didn't feel the dents?

The dents come from that.

That's how I gets down.



I'm gay. If I was, I'd change the drapes in this motherfucker.


You want some? No, thanks.

I don't eat flesh.


That's flesh that you're...

...shoveling in your mouth.

That was a living, breathing creature. It probably had a name.

It's just bologna.

My bologna has a first name.

Actually, your bologna has about 30 names...

...because they take odd parts from all different ones.

The leftovers: the hooves, stomach lining, ears...

...and stuff. They put it into a machine and grind it up.

Then out comes, like, this sheet. That's what you're eating now.

You know what?

I don't eat bologna no more. How about a pickle?

Can I eat the pickle? It has salt, but it's a vegetable.

Salt in the pickle?

Let me rinse-- Let me rinse it off. There we go.

How's that?

Just... Let's keep going.

I don't taste salt now.

Go back.

That's the guy.

He was there, in the room.

We got a tip they was running major druggage, like 50 keys.

So we steps to the door.

"Freeze! Miami P.D.! Get down, get down, get down!"

Out of nowhere, this pimp named Chino punched me in the head.

Chino's running ho's. Your dad will explain that.

Look at it.

Your dogs shit all over my place. Liquid shit.

It doesn't help, shellacking it in with furniture polish.

There's a piece there. Get it.

I got it. Look like a chip of shit.

Can I please have the parole jacket on Noah Trafficante?

Thank you. You know what?

I'm tired of this witness.

I want my life the way it was.

I'm tired. I got married so I could stop lying.

I can't believe you're complaining.

You've got it easy compared to me, living in that zoo.

Why you call my place a zoo?!

I'm tired of you. You want to fight?

Listen, Francine, please...

That's my silk shirt, man!

It's nice.

I figure since I'm gonna be Mike, I might as well dress like Mike.

I want to be...

...I want to be like Mike.

You're sick. Something's wrong with you.

You have a problem that should be checked.


The file. He worked at Club Hell. Thank you.

Can you take care of this? I gotta call the wife.

Whose wife?!

Can you please do some work?

Once today, just do something! I tell you--

Do something to help this case.


You look handsome today.

No, see, it's not that kind of day. Leave me alone.


What's up, babe, PMS?

Damn the jokes!

Damn them! Ring it. Okay, I won't say anything.

That's cool. Hold on.

Go ahead.

All right.

How are the kids?

How's potty training going?

You're so silly.

Will you be late?

No, it'll be 10:30, 11:00 before I get in.

Don't wait up. I'll be there.

Rent a movie.

Something we can kick back to.

What're you wearing?

Give me the phone! Give it!

She hung up a long time ago. I was playing. I was playing.

I was playing.

Don't play like that. That's my family. My happy home.

Stop wearing my clothes.

Everybody about the motherfucking jokes today!

I can't believe this.

Come on, Eddie Dominguez's file can't be that hard to get into.

I tried 3 times, I just can't get in. Besides, this is illegal.

That never stopped you before. Just let me know if you get anything.

Anything for you. But I can't get in. I tried.

What's up, Chet? Hey, Mr. Lowrey.

Hey, Mr. Lowrey.

The Lowrey Brothers.

Let's just get down to Club Hell and pick up Noah.

Julie, it's me!

You're supposed to get us the Dominguez file.

It'll take a day or two.

We don't have a day or two. I'm not a computer whiz.

It'll take awhile.

You ain't taking care of shit. I was thinking--


You must be Marcus. I'd be Marcus.

That's right. Marcus, right?

I'm Julie.

Julie, hi.

Nice to meet you.

You too. I recognized you from...

...every one of the photographs.

Well, it's my man, you know.

The wall. Yeah, those on the wall.

You must be very good.

I'm sorry?

As a partner. Given your job, what you do.

What time are we doing this thing tonight?

Mike said we're going to a club.

"We"... in me and my partner.

You wanted protective custody. You at my house.

That's just great.

I'll stay here with Chet the mini-moron doorman to protect me?

Chet is very good.

That looks like a stain on your rug. Damn.

That was my baby, Luke. He gets nervous and--

He just shits.

It's like marking his territory. Sort of a male thing.

I offered to pay Mike for the cleaning and he refused.

I'll get rid of it.

You don't need that.

I was going to throw it out. I want a new look.

Mike, he's a special guy. Mike is special.

I call him Special Mike.

It's funny, you can laugh at that. That's why...

...I love him.

Me, I'd be pissed.

Look at this cute dog on the couch.

That's Luke.

Look how he crawls on the leather.

You want to meet Duke? He's in the bed. He's upset...

...and having diarrhea and throwing up.

Oh, baby.

Let's go see if Duke is going to be okay.

Me and you. Me and you.

Who are you?

Who are you? Look, you must get out.

Hands off! Don't push me!

I'm Yvette.

Get your hands off me!

What're you doing?

Get out. If you don't stop stalking me, I'll arrest you.

You old psycho!

You asshole! She's into some weird shit.

What's going on?

That was crazy Yvette.

Stalking me.

I forgot she was coming. You threw her out?

Yvette is a masseuse.

She massages shit.

She told me.

Are there any other totally hysterical...

...half-naked women popping by I should know about?

She was naked?

Titties were out.

You threw her out naked?

My wife would hate-- She hates womanizers.

Something's wrong with you.

You don't respect other people's shit.

I've been telling you that for years.

Your trash is all over.

Enough! Please!

Me and my partner...

...we're going to Club Hell to bust Noah.

Anyone have a problem with that?


Don't blow the case.

Here's the deal: You stay put.

Anyone tells you to move, you're making a delivery for Fouchet.

You got it? You got it? Frank?

It's ether! It'll explode, you dope!

Don't even breathe, you knucklehead!

I remember you.

Check it, Lowrey...

...we got 2 days left. Let's do this right.

No gunshots, no dead bodies.

I'm not trying to lose my job.

As I recall, the last dead bad guys belonged to you.

Next time you kill them... it after you get the information. Just a suggestion.

Please. You ain't even comparing body counts.

Should I keep going?

I'm out.

Noah's parole jacket says he works here.

We're here arguing like schoolgirls.

Let's stop this bickering.

Because you're getting on my nerves.

He got no package.

Look at you! Look at you! Can you stay focused?

I'm focused.

Focused on all this ass around here.

Let's do what we came to do and go.

Simple. Fine.

Check around. Meet at the bar in 10 minutes.

Fine. Fine.

Holy shit, what is he doing?

Oh, man!

That's the cop! There he is!

That's him! I'm going.

What's up?

Budweiser. Feel like I had a million of them.

What's up?

Tell me where to throw him!


Learn how to work the safety with your punk-ass.

I'll be back.

Who whupped your ass now?

This really ain't the fucking time.

They know. Let's get Noah and go.

It's the chick.

Look, the chick!

The bitch from the rooftop!

Let's go!

That was the guy who shot Max!

The truck!

Take the truck!

There! Go!

We're in a hurry.

Let's go!

You're cops! Why are we running away?! He's in there!

Here! Go!

This is good.

Noah's chasing us!

What was that?

What was that?

That was-- I don't know.

I had a perfect shot at him if Action Jackson here--

No! This is official police business!

You had no business in there! Can you drive?

Please drive! Don't bring it here!

You picked an ice cream truck!

What am I smelling? Drive!

What am I smelling?


Extremely flammable ether.

Oh, shit.


You the man!

You the man tonight!

How you pick an ice-cream truck that's a bomb?!


This is protective custody?!



Do something! We're out of road!

Who picked this road?!

All the road in Miami and you run out!

Come up with an idea, fast!

Why must I come up with the ideas?!

Take this shit!

Dead end! There's no more road!

We out of fucking road!

It's going to blow!

Get the fuck out!


Should I add this to your body count?

There goes our only lead to the dope.

Ain't this a bitch!

The dope?!

What are you talking about?

"There goes our only lead to Max's killer?!" He's out there!

That's not important, it's not your job to protect people! Shit!

She's crazy! I'm crazy?!

Her rocker's gone!

Stop your barking! This is the witness!

She done zoomed. You deal with her.

No way.

Listen, yes, okay, you're right.

This started because of missing drugs. But let me tell you:

There's nothing more important to Mike...

...than doing this guy that killed Max.

Sometimes he has a hard time expressing his real feelings.

Come on. It'll be all right.

We need you.

Part of the team.

I thought he was supposed to be the smooth one.

This has not been a good day.

Damn right. It's bullshit. We got 2 days to find these fools...

...and no leads because you cooked Noah's ass.



What's up?

It don't take that long to get shampoo.

Let's go. Look at this.

Animal tested. Animal tested.

You know how many chemicals are in this?

I don't care if you go bald. Let's go.


He's a chemist.

Too much heroin and ether for nobody to know nothing.

What's he talking about?

You know the barrels of ether that blew up on the truck?

It's used to process heroin.

They do that to cut it. It quadruples the value.

You can't stick it in the microwave.

Let's pay for this.

How much?


I left my wallet somewhere.

Freeze, motherbitches!

Don't move. Wait.

I'm not understanding.

Do you attract violence?

Shut the fuck up!

Take it easy.

We are cops.

You're not cops. I'm not stupid. I know.

Wait. I've seen police.

I'm reaching for my badge.

You want badges, motherbitch?!

I give you badges!

Here! 99 cents. I sell you some.

You got 8 badges. This cop thing don't work.

I blow you!

Then I blow you!

Blow me? No, hump me, that's all right.

I kill before. I kill again.

Hold on! I'll blow you!

Hump me. Hold on!

The emotion I'm going through means this is serious.

Me and this motherfucker is not vibing right now.

Something on your chest? I got something.

Hello! The guy's got a cannon.

What do you want?

You want some? Then come get it.

I'm gone!

Freeze, bitch!

You freeze, bitch!

Oh, shit. I'm fucked.

Now back up.

Put the gun down. Get me a pack of Bubblicious.

And some Skittles.

Hell of a night. I'm going to bed.

So make yourself at home.

It's your bed.

I'll sit down...

...for a minute.

Because I'm guarding shit. I'm watching out for the bad boys.

I can see things real well, you know...

...from my peripherals.

For such a stud, Mike Lowrey... sure seem rigid about having a girl in your bed.


Me? Mike Lowrey? I'm not rigid.


It's my bed. Why would I be uncomfortable?

I don't know. I think it's more than just wired.

Maybe it was all the guns and stuff.

I never really shot a gun before.

All that steel...

Don't you feel a little funny?

I'm not a comedian, but...

I don't mean that kind of funny, I mean, like...


You don't want that.

You don't want that, because when I come...

...I come with thunder.

And that's...

You sound like you're saving yourself for marriage.

No, that ain't me there.

That's Marcus.

You know what I'm saying? He's the man.

I got some others--

I done seen it now. Turn the page.

Turn the page. I done already seen it.

Don't laugh.

I cannot believe he wore his Afro that big.

I forgot about that. He looked cute like that.

What's Marcus' wife like?

She's like a wife.

I mean, she must be pretty amazing to keep a guy like Marcus.

Keep a guy like what?

You know, watching him tonight, he's very...

...sort of take charge.

The way he was throwing guys this way and that.

There's something about him. I don't know what. He's so smooth.


...I bet...

...his wife's enjoying the smoothness right this minute.

He got a quality that women respond to.

I can't imagine the kind of woman that wouldn't find Marcus...


Probably couldn't be around him...

...just like our situation.

If two people were alone-- Not with a guy like that.

Excuse me.

What is wrong with him?

This one goes on the bulletin board at work.

Don't do that, no, come on.

Put it back in. I can't believe you took it out.

Marcus'll kill us if he finds out. Give it to me.

I can't believe I let you see it.


Goddamn it.

Got some jewelry for you.

I'm sorry, but damn that.

We need to address the serious lack of trust in this relationship.


Is this legal? I don't think it's legal.

I won't be long.

It's legal.

Out of sight.

Sanchez, Lowrey. Yeah, your mother. Listen.

These guys are about to make a move.

Blue convertible. Two occupants. Check it out.

Here we go.

Is that our guy?

Where's the girl?

I don't see any girl.

Fuck off, barking-ass dog. Shut up!

Sneak up on my own house.

What in the world?

Very strange.

His ass is upstairs. Supposed to be my boy!

You motherfucker!

Ducking and weaving, up and down.

Look at this shit. This is what you want?

Got me climbing like a fucking chimp.

No, I ain't going out like that.

Don't take nobody that long to get in bed.

Got my babies in the house.

The man can't get no quality time...

...but my partner gets quality time.

I don't play that shit.

Somebody's out there!

Get the kids. Get the kids!

I knew it! I didn't need a psychic.


Move, and you're dead.

They're going to shoot each other. This is unbelievable.

Miami Police! Freeze!

I am the police!

What are you doing?

You're doing Theresa! No, I'm not!

You're doing my baby! Shut up!

We could sneak up and snuff them both right now.

But we want the girl.

Never fuck with a cop's family, asshole.

Doesn't that piss you off? Yeah.

Don't get me started. Out of the car.


Shit is making you crazy!

You know it ain't going on between me and Theresa!

I've been your partner for six years...

...and your boy all my life.

For you to even think...!

To let dumb shit like that get in your mind!

This is me! What's your problem?


I'm just...

I'm fine!

Get out of here! Where's Julie?

She's in the car, handcuffed to the steering wheel.

Are you trying to blow this case?

My bad. I ain't had no quality time.

You know how it is. Sometimes you do dumb shit.

My bad.

It's cool.

Go, go. All right.

These phone calls were made to Club Hell from this precinct.


I'll ask you once more. Give me a goddamn name!

All I know is his name. Give it to me.

You're looking at a lot of time.


Fouchet, I think.

That's his whole name?

I'm just an errand boy.

Stop. You'll make me cry.

I swear. Watching the house was my first gig.

How sweet. Does that make you union?

If you were a real cop... the field, working every day...'d realize shit happens.

Don't give me that!

You're on your way to reassignment.

Who'll reassign me? You?

Until you have the authority to reassign me...

...stay the hell out of here.

They should bone and get it over with.

I'm getting really tired of this.

You're tired?

They're overfed, lazy. We need video surveillance.

The guard dogs are nothing.

Don't make this hard!

Nice running into you, Jojo.

Always making it hard on yourself, Jojo.

Gee, Julie, what have you been up to?

Just hanging out, handcuffed to steering wheels.

We're looking for someone to step on some heroin.

Do it fast and well. A real pro.

I told you, I'm in the rubber business now.

Jojo, we're not playing, man.

I'm telling you, I'm straight.

I'm straight like a board.

I'm so straight, it's sick.

It's a lot of dope. Who could cut it real quick?

Cut it? You mean, cut it up?

I'm sick of this bullshit.


What's up?

You're pulling a gun on me?

You're cops! I should turn you in to Hard Copy.

Put your ass on TV.

I got this.

I got 15 bullets.

If you don't start talking, I'll fill you with hot shit.

He's a former ganja-smoking fucker.

He ain't worth it. You want some?

I'll bust your ass too!

So sad.

You're on your own.

What's up?

I'll tell you... splatter his ass, he's no good to us. Fuck that!

Fuck that! I'm not going down for you killing Jojo the tire man!

I don't want no brain fragments in my clothes! It stinks!

Fuck that!

I'll tell you what I know. I don't know everything about everything.

Tell him something!

3 guys.

They got a laboratory.

No, no.

2 guys! One guy died in a plane crash last year.

Used to be more!

No, it's one guy, really. It's only one guy.

Don't fuck with me.

This guy's an Einstein, genius college boy...

...egghead motherfucker. He got glasses.

His rich parents live in Coconut Grove.

Where? Tell him again, Jojo!

I'll tell you where.

You'd do that?

I want to help. Stick that gun down. I got the address... the...

Thanks. Why don't you get it?


Go. Now?

Now's good. Now is real good.

This is on me.

Why don't you pick out some white walls? A gift from me to you.

You made me think you were going to shoot me.

I was.

When's this punk-ass chemist coming home?

This is a stakeout.

Not what I imagined.

Thought there'd be more conversation.

Sorry, it's not up to your...

...usual high standards.

Is he always like this on a stakeout?

What is it? Too much caffeine?

Not enough sex?

I can't believe she went there.

You don't know who you talking to?

That's Mike Lowrey over there.

King Ding-a-ling.

Why don't you whip it out for her?

Yeah, right on your forehead.

Shut up.

There he is! Let's go!

Let's go! I'm on him!

What are our chances?

Remember Club Hell?


That's it. Call major backup. I want swimming ducks in here.

Hold it.

Sinclair tapped the phones. We must do that in person.

By the time we do that...

...every junkie in America will be high off our bust.

Can we help you?

I staked out all night in that jalopy too. I earned a peek.

This is real cop stuff, okay? Not Charlie's Angels.

Can't hurt for her to take a peek.

It can't? If they fire a bullet over here, it'll hurt!

We have guests.

Have them followed. Call me with their location.

This high-speed chase, ending near River and 34th Streets...

...was captured 2 nights ago by our news team.


I thought you said Daddy was in Cleveland. Can't be.

No. Your daddy just wishes he was in Cleveland.

I'm telling you, this Fouchet, he's slick.

FBI, DEA, they got nothing on him.

But he got to deal with us today.

What's that?

That's the last time they handcuff me.

That's what.

Good boy.

Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am!

All visitors must be announced!

Pisses me off!

Lady! Lady!

When you get back, this'll be over, right?

You got that right.

Now don't worry. You'll be set free.

Cut loose.

You'll be back to your own life.

No more handcuffs.

I'm out of here. That's Chet with my veggie burger.

Move your ass. You got it.

Hi, can I help you?

I'm here to kill my husband, Marcus Burnett.

The tall one, or the short one?

The short one.

Thought so.

Is Chet ringing--

Oh, babe!

Let me get your husband.

Get over here.

I know what it looks like. Did you get my message?

Can you...

...leave me and...

...Mrs. Burnett alone?


Y'all met?


I know-- Let me--

As far as I'm concerned, keep the wedding ring in your pocket...

...because you, your girlfriend...

Oh, shit.

...and Mike will be very happy living here.

Sweetie! Sweetie, honey!

No, no, I saw it on the news.

That shit's slanted.

You're no longer welcome to my house.

He didn't tell you I was coming in early?

Remember, I said call, and that you'd bring me here?

Tell her what I told you?

You'd bring me here--

I ain't even going to--

We're not arguing.

I'm raising my--

All right-- Baby!

We wanted to tell you.

It really doesn't matter, Mike, Kojak-- whatever your name is.

I'll tell you something else:

If his wife can find us, I'm better off on my own.


I can see how it'd look a trip.

You see me, I run out, I got a shirt open.

You see Mike half-naked.

Then you see the white girl.

It looks like we having an orgy, and ain't nobody humped.

Ain't nobody doing none of that.

It's not what it looks like, okay?

Baby, she's a material witness.

That's real!

Baby, Theresa, listen.

It was orders. Listen, it was orders.

Can I talk to you? Can you stop so I can talk to you?

Enough smooth shit, Mike. It's not going to work anymore.

I don't care!


Julie, get down!

Get down!

Get out!


911? Chet here.

Go upstairs and take this! Take it!

I'll keep everyone calm until my backup comes.

I love you.

I forgot to give the address!

Go, go, go!

Watch out!

Keep going!

Get her in!


It's okay.

I'm with the police. It's cool. You look great.


Don't ever say I wasn't there for you.

What is it with you?

How come it always has to be good news/bad news?

You know where the dope is, but you lose our witness.

I don't get it!


I'm keeping your friend for 4 hours, until I make my deal.

And I will make it.

I just put a bullet in the chemist...

...who fucked with my timetable.

The other one is for the girl. Okay?

Son of a bitch!

That twisted motherfucker shot one of his employees.

Says if we don't back up, he'll kill Julie.

Not now!

I told you to play by the rules.

I'm on the verge of solving this case!

I've finally got the authority to shut you down.

You're all reassigned.

This guy is painting me into a corner.

We won't let the girl die.

We're not walking away. I don't care what she says.

The deal goes down in 4 hours.

You got 2 hours to find them.

It's time to get lucky.

Go do what you got to do.

You told us that this thing would move a little quicker.

It's not that easy. If it was, you'd be doing it.

Work your magic. You say you're a computer whiz.

Back off! I'm doing an illegal favor for you.

This is what I went to jail for.

So you back up off me.

You don't sit your lanky ass down...

...bottom line, I will knock you out.

What's wrong with you?

Can you have a seat? You said I'd get out of jail.

And I wasn't lying.

Cops are so dumb. Look.

Remember, you promised to get me out.

Eddie Dominguez.

There it is.


It was New Year's Eve, and my ex-boyfriend, Eddie...

...and this French guy...

...they took some horrible pictures of me.

They said...

...they'd post them at my kid's school...

...unless I gave them narcotics information.

But I never, never gave them you...

...or the girl.

They got her. We need to get them now.

If we don't, she's dead. How do you make contact?

I have their mobile-phone number.

I know, I'm sorry.

I'll make it up to you. I will.

We don't have time. Let's go.

You have sexy ears, you know that?

I want to lick them.

Can I speak to Romeo?

There's no Romeo here, asshole.

What're you laughing at?

This cellphone will triangulate him, no matter where he goes.

We watch the map until he stops.

The signal's still strong.

Come on.

Thank you.

Lucy was the queen, baby. Think about it.

Lucille Ball was a bimbo.

Desi was the brains behind it. How can you say that?

What do you mean?

Take the bongos away, he's nothing.

It's conga!

Yo, fellas, what's up?

The fucking pencil squad.

Are we on traffic duty?

No, this is real. We got something for you.

You could get killed.

Let's go.

It's Conrad.

I'm calling in a favor.

Eastbound towards 135th Street.

Northeast, go northeast.

If I'm wrong, you can fire me.

This is what I need:

I need a SWAT team, helicopters. We're calling all cars.

Only I don't know where I need them.

Nice car.

Oh, yeah.

That's my toy.

I'm taking it with me for my collection.

And how about the wire transfers?

Two wire transfers to your banks...

...totaling 180 million dollars.

And 20 in cash.


This has been a shitty week.

Getting full integration on that signal.

We're on the airfield now.

I bet it's up in the old hangar section.

Pick it up! Pick it up!

Deposit confirmation requested.

$90 million, Geldersbank of Zurich.

No easy approach.

No time. Fuck the backup.

We must go now.

Not a problem.

You got an itch? I'd love to scratch it.

Scratch this. I'll scratch whatever you want.

Did you go to college?

Thank you.

You sure you want to do this? Let's go!

Tuck in your skirt.

My shit always works sometimes.

This is the best you can buy. Nice doing business with you.

Oh, shit.

It's a setup!

If I get killed, I'm fucking you up!

Goddamn it, go!

Go, goddamn it!

My God!

Get down!

You forgot your boarding pass!

You motherfuckers!

What's up?


Let's go!

Get in the car!

Get in, Mike! Come on!

Get in!

Get in the car!

This shit's going to blow!

Get up!

Shit! Please, catch that motherfucker, he shot me.

He shot me!

I'm fine. I just had a run-in with Jim Brown over here.

He steals our shit...

...kidnaps Julie...

...shoots at my wife. We beat him down!

Marcus, I just got one question for you.

How can you leave me at a gunfight to get the car?!

Shut up and let him drive.

Getting shot improved your driving skills.

You got the right to remain silent.

Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law.

What're you doing?

Getting it out the way.

Punch it!

What if his car's faster?

It's not!

It'll be one or the other! It'll be him or it'll be us!

You better win!

You better win!

That's how you're supposed to drive!

From now on, that's how you drive!


He ain't worth killing.


Bet when your punk-ass woke up this morning... didn't think by 5:00 you'd have a hole in your leg.

You couldn't kill me, you chickenshit, could you?

I could. You're talking like it's over.

I'm just pausing.

I'm getting the hang of this marksman shit.

Shooting them from 30 yards while they run, that's not it.

Here's where it is.

Up close and personal.

That's what I'm talking about.

Would you do it?

Step off!

Do it!

Do it!

It's over.

He's a joke.

He's a motherfucking joke.

I ever tell you I love you, man?

You always be getting emotional after a gunfight.

Because I'm glad we survived.


I love you too.

Don't be looking at me. I love you. I said that shit.

You my boy!

No, no, you like my brother, man.

So what am I?

Julie, sweetie, you...

You're a little dangerous.

See, you like a magnet for random gunfire.

But you're cool.

You're down.

So what's next?


...there won't be no next.

You wanted Mike Lowrey... got him.

That's Mike.

Old Mike Lowrey.

I'm going home to my wife to get my quality time.

Stop playing, man.

I've been beat 3 times out here.

I'm cool, I don't need no help. Back up.

Why're you going home to your wife? Your dick probably don't work.

Do you have the keys?

Mike wanted me to go to this gunfight, then...

Well, then there was this witness...

My man!

You let me out of here?

I don't got the keys. What do you mean you don't have keys?!