Bad Company (2002) Script

VAS: Your friend is late.

He'll be here.

Oh, yeah? I do have other bidders.

I personally vouch for this man.

Ah. Well, I trust you, Michael, but you see, with each degree of separation comes a degree of uncertainty.

Mr. Turner.

Mr. Vas.

The KGB once tried to set me up.

So I had to kill three of their agents and then I hunted down their families.

The point is, if I sense anything out of the ordinary...

No, the point is, I haven't seen anything from you yet to justify a payment of $20 million.

So, before I hand over a small fortune and risk my life, I want to know 100% that you can in fact deliver a device.

That's the point.

Very well.

Michelle?

Owner's manual.

This is your show of good faith?

Well, you're still alive.

You consider that a show of good faith.

Now, what do you have for me?

Down payment.

One million dollars.

So when do I get the device?

Let's say ten days.

Michael, you take that telephone and I will call you and tell you how to proceed.

You keep it on you all the time.

As for you, sir, the next time we meet, I suggest you be on time.

Nice coat.

(KEYS JANGLE)

Well done.

See you around.


So far so good? Yeah, so far.


Kevin's got a tail. Is it Vas?

No, they don't look Russian. They don't look friendly.

We better go back for him.

You ordered us not to jeopardize our cover, sir.

Turn left.

Turn left!

(CHORAL MUSIC PLAYING)


(TIRES SCREECHING)

Kill them!

Ambush on the castle steps, sir.

Come on, faster.

Let's go!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Get down! Get down!

Get down!

Get down! Get down!

(GUNFIRE)

There he is! Pull over!

You're jeopardizing the mission.

You are the mission.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

God, that was close.

Did you see who they were?

Kevin?

Doesn't this all smack of extreme desperation?

A nuclear bomb that fits neatly into a carry-on suitcase?

Kevin spends two years getting close to these people in order to position you as the buyer.

Vas won't deal with anyone else and we have nine days to make this work.

I'd say desperation was the order of the day!

Maybe Vas set Kevin up.

My guess is it's a rival buyer.

Could be Pakistanis, Chechens, North Koreans.

Libyans.

Try the entire Middle East.

Haduk Vas is a businessman. He'll take anyone's money.

So why kill Kevin if they could just outbid him?

'Cause we have deeper pockets, that's why.

He priced them out of the game.

Who do you think it is?

Well, the Cold War is over.

These guys don't wave flags anymore, and fanaticism, terrorism is global.

Well, whoever it is decided to eliminate the competition and force Vas to deal with them.

OAKES: So the future of the so-called free world may rest in this young man's hands.

Jake Hayes, here. Big Time Tickets.

Whatever you want I can get you.

Yankees, third base line. Knicks, court-side.

Rangers on the ice.

Masters, I'll put you on Tiger's tee, all right?

No matter what you want, I got it for you.

Big Time Tickets. What you need?

Oh, come on, man!

You gonna call me three hours before tip-off against the Lakers?

The Knicks sell out every game, money.

Since I like you, for $850 I'll get you section 24, row 9, twelve back from the bench.

Right behind Woody with a good view of Spike unless he got that turban thing on and starts looking like Yasir Araknick.

Check!

Hold on a sec. (PHONE BEEPS)

What's up? Big Time Tickets, JK. What you want?

Checkmate!

Lion King? I can't do that.

Jake Hayes here. Big Time Tickets.

Mr. Johnson! You gonna go to the game tonight or you wanna do some business?

Shit! He's kicking your ass.

Hey, don't look at me.

You need to watch that castle, he's about to bitch-slap your bishop.

(IMITATES BUZZER)

You lose, Opie.

Damn!

Okay, so I'll give you $400 for the two.

Yo, J, let's get a slice.

Hold on a sec. (PHONE BEEPS)

Hello, Big Time Tickets.

Hey!

Hey, man, I can't... I can't go.

You always working.

Hey, honey. What's up?

Okay, I'm gonna pick you up from work then we'll talk all about it.

Okay, love you, too. Bye.

I got to pick up my girl, man. So check this out.

You're gonna do this, right? Then I'm gonna do this.

Then you're gonna do this. Then I'm gonna do this.

Then you're gonna want to do this, but I'm gonna do this.

And when you thinkin' about doing this, I'm gonna do this.

And then the game's over.

So why don't you give me $20 right now and we'll save 20 minutes.

Screw you.

You didn't know chess was a contact sport, did you?

Hey, honey.

SEALE: Julia Benson.

She's a nurse's aide.

They've been together three years.

She lives with her sister and brother-in-law in Jersey City.

Amazing resemblance to Kevin, sir.

Yeah.

Like seeing a ghost.

Now, I don't know how you're gonna react.

(LAUGHS)

Come on! Wait a minute.

I should have known.

The mood swings, the weight gain...

What weight gain?

You're pregnant. You're pregnant!

I want everybody to know. Hey, everybody!

My woman's having a baby and we're getting married!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'm not pregnant.

You know, we don't have to get married. I mean, marriage is a big step.

We should wait a while. We're young.

I'm moving to Seattle.

Seattle, like, Seattle Supersonics Seattle?

Wait a minute. (STAMMERS) That's pretty far.

I got offered a job there.

What kind of job are you gonna get is Seattle that you can't get in New York?

A friend of mine from junior college called, and...

Who?

Kenneth.

Your ex-man Ken?

Look. He's managing a company out there, and he offered.

So you're leaving me and going back to Ken?

No! Are you leaving me?

Sort of. But it's not the way...

So you're leaving me and going back to Kenneth. That's what I asked you.

The Ken part is just business.

And what's the leaving me part? Pleasure?

Pain.

Your sister put you up to this. She never liked me.

It's been three years, Jake.

I know it's been three years.

And we're in the same situation that we were in when we met.

Meaning we're not married.

We're not married, we can't afford to get married.

And it doesn't look like it's ever gonna change.

You know, poor people do get married.

Yeah, I know.

But I don't feel like fighting with you every day because we're broke!

I mean, marriage is hard enough without being poor.

Hey, what happened to the love?

What happened to all that romance?

You know I love you, but you are living in this fantasy.

It's like you're waiting for some kind of miracle.

I got to live in reality. I am not gonna be young forever.

Oh, I see. So you got to put yourself back on the market while the merchandise is still fresh!

You act like there's a damn expiration date on your forehead!

Come on, come on.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You think I like living like this?

Moving tickets, hustling chess, DJ-ing at these little clubs?

I know. I should have stayed in college. I messed up.

I messed up. I'll go back to college.

I love you, Jake.

I love you too.

But I...

So when are you leaving?

Couple of weeks.

But, we'll talk before then.

Why?

(INAUDIBLE)

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the monastery Go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back out and let ya knees bend

♪ Kickin' through the door

♪ Throwback Vokal valore

♪ I see me a do it fresh off tour Head to the floor

♪ Take it round, round Chickenhead breakin' it down Hey, what's up, man? What's wrong? Hey, what's up, man?

Julie left me.

Sorry. Um...

I got to go. But I'll catch you tomorrow. All right.

♪ There will be no extra space to waste

♪ Pick up the pace See your heart rate

♪ And if you start to hyperventilate

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the chickenhead Go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back in and let ya knees bend... ♪

♪ I'm all out of love

(ALL BOOING) ♪ I'm so lost without you

♪ I know you were right

♪ Believing for so long

♪ I'm all out of love

♪ What am I without you

♪ I can't be too late Hey! You get your shit together or I'm gonna have to fire your ass!

That's right!

♪ I want you to come back

♪ And carry me home

♪ Away from these long, lonely nights

♪ There's no easy way

♪ It gets harder each day

♪ Please love me or I'll be gone

♪ I'll be gone

♪ I'm all out of love

♪ I'm so lost without you

♪ I know you were right

♪ Believing for so long

♪ I'm all out of love

♪ What am I without you?

♪ I can't be too late

♪ To say that I was so wrong ♪

(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

Julie, Julie, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Uh, Big Time Tickets.

Yeah, for what game?

Well, how much you want to spend?

Yeah, I can get it.

HAYES: So where you at?

Where the hell's that?

Thank you very much. Now take off.

DRIVER: Whatever.

CAREW: Hop out. HAYES: Hey. What's up?

Give me your phone. What's up? Hey, hey, hey! Come on, man!

Relax. What y'all want?

Come on. Come on. Relax.

Do you know how hard it was for me to get a cab to come up here?

I hope y'all are getting me a ride back.

Come on. I know you're cops, man. What do you want, money?

Oh, I understand. Y'all shot someone and now y'all need a suspect.

Mr. Hayes? Jacob Hayes?

I'm Officer Oakes. That's Officer Seale.

Officer Swanson. Officer Carew.

What, CIA? What's that for?

Crackers In my Ass?

You gonna arrest me for scalping tickets?

We just want to talk to you about something.

About what?

About your brother.

Well, you got the wrong guy. I don't even have a brother.

That's just a picture of me in a suit.

Could have got that off the Internet.

I saw a picture of Bill Gates with three titties on the Net.

Okay, September 8th, 1970.

Bellevue Hospital, New York City.

A woman, registered as Mary Jeffries, gives birth to identical twins, but suffers complications during labor and dies the next day.

What about the father?

SEALE: Thomas B. Jeffries.

Presumed alive. Whereabouts unknown.

The state rarely separates twins, but one of the infants, Jacob, that's you, was diagnosed with severe lung infection.

You still have the scar from the chest tube, the incision mark.

An administrator at the hospital altered the birth record to give the healthy child a better chance at adoption.

A week later, Roger and Glenda Pope took in Kevin Jeffries.

The Popes never knew. Kevin never knew.

So I have a twin brother. Big deal.

What's the CIA have to do with this?

What, he couldn't send me a letter?

Your brother's dead.

How? A helicopter crash.

We need your help, Mr. Hayes.

Your brother was working on something with us.

My twin brother was CIA?

Yeah. A clandestine operative.

And just before he was killed he set up a deal.

What kind of deal?

A very important one.

So we need you to stand in for him.

Um, you know, just briefly.

Pretend I'm him?

Yeah. For how long?

Nine days.

HAYES: Nine days. That's not standing in.

Standing in's like an hour. Nine days, that's like going on tour.

Is this shit dangerous?

Yeah, there's some risk.

Well, what kind of risk? We talking bad credit risk?

Or bullet-in-ass risk?

You'd be well-compensated.

For bullet-in-ass risk? I hope that's a lot of compensation.

How much?

Throw out a number.

One billion dollars.

You've overshot.

Well, I don't know what kinda budget you're working with.

Well, we were thinking somewhere in the region of, let's say...

Uh, $25,000.

Fifty.

Yeah, 50. I figure you started with 25, so I know you got more, and you ain't gonna give me all your money.

$50,000.

This is what I'm thinking, Mr. Hayes.

With $25,000, your girlfriend Julie could go to college.

She wouldn't have to go to Seattle.

Or work with Ken.

Okay. Here's what I'm thinking.

You're gonna give me $50,000, tax-free.

Okay, $50,000 after tax after the job is done.

Half now, half after.

Ten now, 40 after.

Unless my mother had triplets you're gonna give me 10 now, 90 after.

Okay, you got a deal.

So when do we start?

Now.

This is your brother's file. Study it.

HAYES: So there's homework?

Preparation. Okay.

Let's see, Dad sits on the board of the New York Stock Exchange.

Mom, Co-artistic Director at Lincoln Center.

Must have been nice.

In my foster house we were so poor, we used to lick stamps for dinner.

Let's see, prep school at Exeter.

Then college at Dartmouth.

Served in the Naval Academy.

That's right.

What did he serve? Lunch?

Oh, man. Rhodes scholar.

So my brother was real smart, huh?

Yeah.

Damn, the CIA is cheap!

Y'all could have at least got me a queen size. What's this, jack size?

Hey, uh, what's that zahs-nod mean?

It's Czech for bathroom.

You'll find the room labeled with phonetic translations.

Why?

'Cause the deal goes down in the Czech Republic.

Czech Republic?

Here's a dictionary.

Hey, how do I get the outside line?

I need somebody to feed my cat.

You don't have an outside line and you don't have a cat.

Okay, so what am I supposed to be doing here?

There's a tape in the VCR. It's a video of your brother.

Watch it. The way he talks and the way he moves.

I know there's a lot to deal with here, but we're all behind you.

We'll start in the morning. You got any questions?

Yeah.

If my brother was such a genius, then how come he's dead?

5:00 a.m.

Hey, I don't do 5:00 a.m.

So, bottom line, what are our chances?

Well, I'd say anywhere between nil and zero.

Why do you say that?

Well, I grant you he's got potential.

He's pretty street-smart.

In six months he could probably fool his brother's own parents.

But eight days? Come on. You got to be kidding.

Probably get himself killed on this mission and anyone else who goes along with him.

Would you like to be replaced on the mission?

Why? You saying you're going ahead with or without me?

Yeah, that's precisely what I'm saying.

Well, sir, when do I tell him what this mission involves?

Well, if I were you I would tell him as little as possible.

Don't put anything into his head he can't use.

And certainly nothing that could pop out at the wrong time.

Okay. What's he doing now?

He's studying.

We told him to learn a few key phrases in Czech.

(AWKWARDLY READS OUT WORDS)

Well, he seems dedicated.

(CONTINUES READING)

What's he saying?

He said, "I haven't had my period in three months."

(HAYES CONTINUES READING)

Now what?

"Where's the hospital? I have a vaginal infection."

(SNICKERS) Yeah, this is going to be really interesting.

Can't wait to get started.

Rise and shine, Mr. Hayes! 5:00 a.m. and all is well.

How about three more hours of sleep and some breakfast?

How about a nice shower?

Hey, hey! Hey, hey!

What's wrong with you?

Morning.

Today we'll be covering basic operations protocol for the acquisition of foreign assets, a procedure we like to call, the three I's.

Identifying the target, initiating the contact and infiltrating the network.

Now you do it like him.

Man, this is bugging me out.

I feel like Michael Jackson looking at old album covers.

I mean, look at this guy, he looks like me, but it's not me.

Yeah.

So what did he like to do? I mean, what kind of sports was he into?

What kind of music did he listen to?

He liked music. He liked jazz and classical.

Classical? Like Run DMC?

He didn't like rap.

Oh, come on, man.

What 29-year-old brother don't like a little bit of rap?

He didn't listen to rap.

So what kind of sports was he into?

Skiing.

Okay, so you got skiing, the Navy, no rap.

Yeah, we'd have had a lot in common.

(WHISPERS) Sir? That meeting's about to start.

OAKES: What time?

Um, well, Yates is gonna... Okay.

All right. I'll be there.

Thanks.

So what's up with you and Swanson?

Hmm?

Oh, come on, man. I see there's something going on there.

Y'all got a little something going on. Come on now.

Look at you. You're blushing.

Do you mind if I say something to you, Mr. Hayes?

My friends, Officer Seale, Officer Swanson, they have faith in you.

I don't.

And that creates a problem because you're in so deep with us now, we can never let you go.

So you'd better learn this stuff, stone cold, by 0500 hours tomorrow morning.

Or what?

I'll kill you.

Hey, could we start a few hours later tomorrow?

(YELLS)

(SCREAMS)

OAKES: Get dressed.

It's 4:59!

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ There ain't no troubles in rock

♪ On every block

♪ Late for school Late for work

♪ But ahead of these cop cars

♪ My credit is shot

♪ In the detonate box

♪ Like, people take my life

♪ And that's pathetic as Pac's

♪ Right away, blow your life away

♪ So light your haze

♪ Hold tight grenades

♪ So when it blows I'm slightly grazed

♪ Kuniva might be crazed

♪ Unleashin' unlikely rage

♪ The next time you hear a verse from me

♪ I might be caged... ♪ Swirl. Checking for sediment.

Sniff.

And taste.

(RAP MUSIC CONTINUES)

Morning, Mr. Hayes. 5:00 a.m.

HAYES: No, 5:01.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ I believe in people flying

♪ I believe in people crying

♪ I believe in people breathing

♪ I believe in people being... ♪ Pope. Kevin Pope.

Man! (LAUGHS) Look at this suit.

Man, I got initials on my cuffs.

Normally, the only thing I've ever had on my cuffs is steak sauce!

Whoo!

They say MT. What's that for?

Michael Turner.

But I thought I was Kevin Pope.

Kevin Pope is Michael Turner.

Michael Turner is Kevin Pope's cover identity.

He's a very successful, very knowledgeable, very sophisticated international dealer in fine antiquities.

Well, if I'm Jake Hayes playing Kevin Pope playing Michael Turner, then I should get two checks!

SEALE: Cheers.

This is a very rare, expensive cognac. What do you think?

Dry.

But never precocious.

I love your shirt.

Egyptian broadcloth?

Three days. Pretty impressive.

Yeah, he's bright.

I think he can do it.

He's got my vote.

I said he was bright. I didn't say he was capable of saving the world.

Let's run a real test.

Like what?

Send him up to New York, put him in Kevin's apartment, let the neighbors, the doorman, everybody get a look at him.

See if they buy him as Michael Turner.

It might even serve a double purpose.

Whoever tried to kill Kevin as Michael Turner probably doesn't know he's dead.

They might still be looking for him.

So we dangle him, use him as bait? Keep him in the dark.

He'll be protected.

What do we tell him?

Tell him we're giving him a chance to practice being Kevin.

That's all you need to tell him.

You're the boss.

OAKES: Now, you see the van in front of us?

The one behind us? Those are our guys.

Here's my cell phone number.

Use it if you get into any kind of trouble.

What kind of trouble? Any kind.

Shark attack? Call you. All right.

Could you pop the trunk?

Take this. Get yourself some shoes.

Little punk.

Mr. Turner, welcome back, sir. Thanks, Tim.

Hmm. Mmm-mmm!

How was Europe?

Like another country!

(LAUGHING)

Whoo!

You could put this on MTV Cribs.

Man, this is dope!

God!

So if I paid taxes, this is where the money would go, huh?

You could have a puppet party in here.


Let's get a little music in here.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) Whoa, whoa, whoa!

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

OAKES: What's that music?

It's this hip-hop stuff.

It's terrible.

SEALE: Jake, it's your downstairs neighbor, Mrs. Patterson.

Don't forget the radio.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Hi, Michael!

Welcome back.

Vera, how are you?

Fine. Fine, thank you.

Hi, Annabella.

We just came in and the doorman said you were back.

Annabella missed you.

Oh, you're far too kind.

I've been waiting desperately for you to come back.

Oh, why?

I bought a little treasure.

Come on down and tell me if I got a good buy.

Oh, okay. Hold your baby.

Yes, my baby!

How was your trip?

Uh...

This is gonna be a disaster.

Hello!

Go see your nanny, baby.

What do you think?

Is it a good piece?

Uh...

It's exquisite!

Ooh, do you think?

Go ahead. Pick it up. Feel it to see how delicate it is.

Uh, pick it up, right?

Yes, just grab it and pick it up.

Michael...

That's what we keep the doggy treats in.

Of course. I knew that.

I was just getting it out of the way so I could see the...

The vase. The vase!

Of course. The vase! Yes.

Uh, may I ask, how much did you pay for this?

$150,000.

Good Lord! What you gonna put in it, cocaine?

He fooled the doorman, he fooled the neighbor and he fooled the neighbor's dog.

What more do you want?

Oakes, we need to know who's after that bomb.

And you're willing to sacrifice him to find out?

Don't be dramatic. He's got plenty of protection.

I'll tell you when to pull him.


(TRIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS)

Hope you're not watching this!

I don't have to watch this, do I, sir?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Oh, no. Holy shit.

Code Red. Code Red.

Code Red. Code Red.

(MAN GRUNTS) (SCREAMS)

Parish and McCain, cover the exits!

Help! Help! Help!

(GRUNTING) (SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)


(GRUNTS)


Sir, he's headed for the roof.

OAKES: We need him alive.

SEALE: Yes, sir.

MAN: Hey!

(YELPS)

Watch it!

Drop the knife.

Hey, Elvis, if you drop the knife and step down, no one is going to hurt you.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SCREAMING)

So, who's got Jake?

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Anno Domini anything goes

♪ Be whatchu wanna be

♪ Long as you know consequences

♪ To give and for livin'

♪ The fence is... ♪ Well, these last ten minutes will be used as a teaching aid on how an operation can get totally...

Screwed up, sir? Thank you.

We'll find him, sir.

(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

Yeah? Where are you?

The corner of Eat Shit and Fuck You!

I'm not gonna let you trace me! Bye! I'll call you back!

(CAR HONKS)

I'm stuck in traffic. I ask you to do one simple thing...

Gimme that!

What? Whoa!

Okay, run fingerprints, DNA, anything we can get on the guy who jumped off the roof.

Yes, sir. He looks Afghani, sir.

Don't assume anything. Just find Jake. (CELL PHONE CHIMING)

Yes, sir. Jake...

Kevin was murdered! Like they were gonna murder me, right?

Let's meet someplace...

No more bullshit!

We lost him because we lied to him.

No, you lost him because you lost him.

We treated him like an idiot.

He had a right to know what we were doing with him.

We're wasting time! Find him and bring him back.

And spare me your conscience.

Spare my conscience.

MAN: Take it easy, buddy! HAYES: Thanks a lot.

♪ Six million ways to live

♪ Six million ways to live life

(PHONE RINGS)

Yeah. HAYES: Hello?

Hello? Hey, Pam, it's Jake.

Can I talk to Julie?

She don't want to talk to you.

JULIE: Who's on the phone?

Hey, Pam. I need to talk to Julie.

Please. Please. This is serious.

Is it Jake?

Wait, let me talk to him.

She's moving on.

Gimme me the phone.

We don't need no more trouble, Jake.

Okay, and you ain't nothing but trouble. Pam...

Two suits came around here today looking for you.

(SIREN WAILING) JULIE: Give me the phone.

Hey, hey, hey. Shit, your phone's tapped!

Your phone's tapped.

Okay, if Julie's there, tell her I love her.

And Oakes, if you're listening, kiss my ass!

You get a trace? No.

He hung up.

♪ Six million ways to live

♪ Six million ways to live life OAKES: Mr. Hayes, where are you?

Where in the hell are you?

I'll see y'all next week. (CHUCKLES)

♪ Six million ways to live

♪ 'Cause there's six million ways to live lavish

♪ Beyond all the misery and mathematics

♪ Oh, there's six million ways to live

♪ Six million ways to live ♪

HAYES: Ma.

Help! Help!

Ma! Ma! Ma! Somebody!

Ma, it's me! It's me! Ma, it's me! Help! Help!

It's me!

Jakey? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're gonna break my arm!

Well, what are you doing in the dark?

Some people are looking for me, and...

What did you do? What did you do?

I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing.

I didn't do nothing!

It's not what you think. It's not the police.

It's way too hard to explain.

Look at this.

Eight foster kids I've taken into my house over the years.

And all of them made something of themselves and not one of them had your potential.

Oh, come on, Ma.

Selling and scrambling and hustling.

(SIGHS)

Ma, did you know I had a brother?

Oh, stop talking crazy! You had lots of brothers.

How's that nice girl I met last Christmas?

She left me.

Hand me that umbrella so I can hit you again.

You know, Ma, maybe it wasn't my fault?

You need money? No.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I need money.

How much do you need?

I won $250 at bingo!

(CHUCKLES)

It's just for a little while. I'll pay you back.

Yeah, I know. (CHUCKLES)

You want something to eat?

You know what? I really got to go.

I'm never giving up on you, Jakey.

You're gonna do something to make me very proud one day.

I know it.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I owe you an apology.

You hear me?

I was just wondering how many of your people are listening in?

No, we're alone.

No cameras, no wires. Just me.

HAYES: You got the floor.

Your brother was assassinated.

By the same guys who came after me, right?

I guess so. Doing the same job as you.

Which is what?

Your brother as Michael Turner was helping me buy something off the black market.

What? What?

Cuban cigars? PlayStation 3? What?

I can't tell you if you're not coming back in with us.

Well, I'm not coming back in with you if ain't telling me.

Your brother died saving my life. Did you know that?

It should have been otherwise, but that's the way it is.

How are his parents taking it?

You didn't tell his parents?

No, and that's the way we want it.

How would you feel if you died and nobody told your wife?

I'm not married.

What, there's no Mrs. Spy?

Not anymore.

Relationships and attachments are useless in this business.

So that's how this job is.

Even if they don't shoot you, they take your life.

I know it sounds hokey, but I honestly believe our lives are about something bigger than ourselves, and I'm offering you a chance to commit to yourself to something.

You ain't offering me nothing but a chance at a bullet in my ass.

I don't see the higher meaning in that.

Tell you what I'm gonna do. Thank you. No problem.

I'm going outside, I'm gonna sit in the car and I'll count to 10.

If you want to join me, fine.

If not, I'll tell the agency I couldn't find you.

We can't pull this job off without you.

We need you.

Think about it.

(SIGHS)

Oh, well.

Well, that didn't work, did it? No.

"I'm gonna go outside and count to 10"?

Who the hell are you?

You would have done better with "Bitch, get in the car."

Okay.

Get in the car, bitch.

OAKES: This is the man who tried to kill you.

We now know that he's a member of a multinational terrorist organization led by this man.

Meet the man who killed your brother, Dragan Adjanic.

He's wanted by The Hague for terrorist crimes against humanity.

So he's a fugitive everywhere in the world including his own country.

He calls his movement The Black Hand.

His members take a death pledge, becoming suicide soldiers to further their cause.

Last year, the FBI caught four of his men in a Washington DC motel, with enough ureanitrate to level the Capitol building.

He doesn't like America and he doesn't like you.

Wait a minute, what did I do?

He's your rival buyer.

For the item that this man has to sell.

This is Adrik Vas.

He's a Russian, ex-army colonel, kingpin in the Russian mafia.

He's up to his neck in prostitution, drugs and extortion.

That sounds like anybody I went to high school with.

This is Vas's right-hand man.

His name is Michelle Petrov, otherwise known as The Hammer.

Remember these faces because you're gonna be seeing them soon.

Why do they call this guy The Hammer?

Whoa!

(MUFFLED SCREAM)

What? What? OAKES: Good evening.

Isn't this fun?

This is an exercise known as Kim's game.

It's meant to test your awareness.

What can you tell me about your attackers?

They woke me up.

Look, man, if you want me to spy, I'm gonna need my rest.

How many were there?

Didn't I just say they woke me up?

Yeah, that's the weird thing about an ambush.

Next time, we'll try and warn you.

Do you understand what happened to you just now?

Yeah, I was jacked.

OAKES: No, you panicked.

When you thought you were in danger, your brain shut down.

So what's the point of having a good brain if you can't keep it operating?

My brain didn't shut down!

I knew it was Swanson

'cause I could feel her tits on my back.

I knew it was Carew

'cause his breath smelled like shit.

Probably from kissing your ass so much.

I knew it was Seale because I took his wallet.

Hey, Seale, why does a married man need a condom?

Your wife know?

You wanna know how I knew it was you?

Okay, thank you. Game's over.

Good night. Oh, where you going?

You're gonna leave like that, huh?

Come back!

Y'all got me up. Let's do something.

Let's hit a club or something.

Based on our intelligence projections and the text manual provided by Agent Pope, this is a mock-up of what you'll be buying.

Does it play DVDs?

It's a portable thermonuclear weapon.

So that's a bomb.

It's a reproduction.

Last year, a Russian suitcase bomb was stolen from a dismantling facility in the Ural Mountains.

Your brother tracked it down.

We need you to recover it.

Two things you're gonna have to do.

Would one of them be shitting in my pants?


Welcome to Prague.

HAYES: Looks like Newark.


Welcome back to the hotel, Mr. Turner.

Thank you.

Mr. Turner, so glad to have you back, sir.

Thank you, Lempenka.

I hope you haven't given out my room.

Certainly not, sir.

This is beautiful.

Her name is Lenka.

You just called her "Lempenka," which means "cardboard."


HAYES: Wow, wow.

(CHUCKLING)

Man, it's gonna be hard to go back to Jersey.

We'll be in the suite across the hall.

(BEEPS)

We have full video and audio surveillance of this room.

(BEEPING)

All right, now, when I go to the bathroom, press the pause button.

Just stay in the room.

You've got nothing to worry about.

Yeah, excepting my little date with a nuclear bomb.

Okay, this is our lifeline.

Our only link to Adrik Vas.

Nothing happens till he calls.

Don't let it out of your sight.

And remember, from now on, there's no Jake, there's no Kevin, only Michael Turner.

Man.

I think I'm gonna like being Michael Turner.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Pretty woman Walking down the street I think maybe you wanna take a look at this.

(MUSIC CONTINUES THROUGH COMPUTER)

Okay, what the hell's he up to now?

♪ Pretty woman ♪

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

(BUZZES)

(MUSIC CONTINUING)

HAYES: Hey!

Fish egg?

They're good, man. (WOMEN LAUGHING)

Beluga, sir.

It's 12,000 crowns an ounce.

Party's over. (MUSIC SHUTS OFF)

No, the party just started.

Soon as y'all leave, I'm gonna have my ass buffed.

(WOMEN LAUGHING RAUCOUSLY)

This little piggy go to market.

Make sure you put my initials on the big toe.

People need to know whose feet this is.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

That's Vas. Where's the cell phone?

Phone, phone, phone, phone, phone.

Thank you.

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

(SHUSHING)

Hello.

Yeah, we'll be there.

(BEEPS)

It's Vas.

The deal's on in an hour.

YATES: Now your eye.

(BEEPING)

Look right into the computer screen.

Wait for confirmation.

Okay, that's it.

All right, from this point on, only you will be able to access your computer.

It won't operate without your retinal signature, your eyes.

So, when they show you the bomb, connect your laptop.

Determine if the bomb is the real thing.

And take enough time doing it, so Welles can download their arming codes, and hopefully their disarming codes into our computer.

Good luck, Mr. Hayes.

We have visual.

You'll do fine.

Everyone's nervous the first day of school.

I always cut the first day of school.

Don't worry.

We're covered from every angle.

Can't wait to meet The Hammer.

These guys must be the toolbox.

Should we move in, sir? YATES: No.

Not till we're sure they brought the bomb.

There's too much at stake.

Nice coat.

Gentlemen, are we going to do business or aren't we?

That depends, Michael.

Where have you been for the last nine days?

I don't believe that concerns you.

On the contrary, it concerns me very much.

We make a deal, you disappear.

Doesn't look good, my friend.

Heads up, McCain. Be advised. Targets are armed.

YATES: Maintain your positions.

Everyone, maintain your position.

SWANSON: Copy that, sir.

Do we have a problem?

I don't know. You tell me. Do we have a problem?

Do we? (SCOFFS)

Give me the cell phone I gave you earlier.

Don't worry.

I only made collect calls.

Look, I don't know what this is about, but...

No, you don't. So shut up.

Neither does Mr. Turner.

You see, this cell phone has a global positioning system.

In a moment, it'll tell me exactly where you've been the last nine days.

Fantastic, eh?

Well, haven't you been busy?

Oh, you get around.

Berlin, Rome, Zurich.

(SCOFFING)

And not one decent treasure to show for it.

Well, where's the money?

Where's the product?

Nearby.

So how do we do this?

I'm gonna call you on this cell phone.

Then you have one hour to get the money, Michael.

Then I will call you again and tell you where to bring it to.

You understand?

HAYES: Well, I'm gonna have to run some tests.

So make sure you bring authentic merchandise.

Fair enough.

I wouldn't buy a car without checking under the hood.

(CHUCKLES)

Are we agreed?

Yes.

No, we're not bringing money anywhere.

No?

I'll have someone transfer the remaining $19 million when Mr. Turner tells us we have a viable device.

It can be done by computer.

One of my men will be standing by at this address.

You will send one of your brain trust to verify the money's in your account.

And that's it.

We'll give you a hostage?

Yeah, and you'll get one.

We'll call it a security deposit which neither of us will get back if we screw up or if we leave a mess.

It's that simple.

Now we have an agreement, I think.

Agreed.

Don't you go disappearing on me again, Michael.

Hey, you did real well, Mr. Hayes.

You knew they wouldn't bring it, right?

Uh-huh.

Standard procedure.

Guys like him won't risk getting screwed on the first date.

Mmm-hmm.

And what if you hadn't changed the chip in the phone?

Well, it would have told him that the phone had already traveled to CIA headquarters in Langley, and they'd have shot both of us in the heads.

I'm hungry. How about you?

I think I'm gonna pass.

Okay, good night.

(SHOWER RUNNING)

(SOFT R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Even if I forget why

♪ You'll always give me another reason

♪ This is no empty promise

♪ I can depend upon it

♪ You'll always love me like that... ♪

(GASPS) My God!

Hi.

This place comes with everything, huh?

Could you, uh, give me a towel?

(CHUCKLES) Very funny.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I knew you'd be surprised. I didn't think you'd be shocked.

Huh.

Hey, you want some room service?

No. I'd like a good stiff drink.

Oh, shit. It's Nicole.

What?

This isn't exactly the welcome I expected.

What's up?

Honey, I made dinner reservations at our favorite place.

I love that place.

Honey, aren't you happy to see me? Yeah!

(CHUCKLES) Good.

(GASPS) Mmm.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Uh, I gotta get that.

I'll be right back.

(SIGHS)

How are you doing?

Well, you see how I'm doing.

Yeah. We have a problem.

Yeah. You know, where I'm from, people pay a lot of money for problems like that.

That's Nicole. That's Kevin's...

I mean, Michael's girlfriend. (SIGHS)

She works for CNN in Europe.

So how come you didn't tell me Michael had a girlfriend?

Well, they broke up several weeks ago.

They had a fight, and she walked out.

Well, it looks like she forgave him.

What the hell did he fight with her fine ass for?

Well, apparently, he had intimacy problems.

He was distant.

Some kind of psychotherapy crap.

Anyway, she went off to cover the Balkans.

Okay, so what do you want me to do?

Take her to dinner.

She's CNN.

If you handle this badly, she could blow your cover, okay?

(WHISPERS) Okay. Good.

Don't cheat, just eat.

Don't cheat, just eat. Don't cheat, just eat. Don't cheat, just eat.

That was Jehovah's Witnesses!

Don't cheat, just eat.

Michael, I hope you're hungry, baby.

♪ We hoppin' in the whip And we livin' here

♪ Somebody turn the music up Tonight Yeah, I just gotta go brush my teeth.

♪ Everybody up Come on, get up Tonight

♪ One of these ladies gonna be havin' my baby... ♪ Uh-oh.

(PHONE RINGING)

ANSWERING MACHINE: Hey, you've reached the residence of Pam, Marvin, Julie and the kids!

Leave a message at the tone. (BEEPS)

Julie, this is Jake. Are you there? (KIDS CHATTERING)

Okay, if you haven't left yet, please wait for me.

Please, please. I got a new job.

It's totally legit... (ALL CHATTERING)

...and I've changed. I have totally changed.

I'm a new man.

I'm the man who loves you.

I love you. I love you so much.

I didn't even know how much I loved you till two minutes ago.

It's Jake.

HAYES: Honey, I am ready to do anything. Julie.

JULIE: I love him. No, you don't!

Honey, what's taking you so long?

Big sacrifices.

Please wait for me. Please wait for me!

Jake, I heard you.

I heard every word, baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here.

I love you so much. (PHONE BEEPING)

Jake...

AUTOMATED VOICE: If you'd like to make a call... Jake?

Hello? Jake? ...please hang up and try again.

(BEEPING) If you'd like to make a call...

(HAYES EXHALES)

(SOFT R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ I need to find a place

♪ My own space Thank you.

♪ Where I can get over you

♪ 'Cause you are so far away So, are you gonna make me grovel?

No, not unless you want to.

Is this fish?

Yeah, of course. You love fish.

Uh, that's right. I love fish.

But that's before I became a vegetarian.

Uh, waiter, waiter.

Uh, I can't eat this.

Can you get me something else?

How 'bout a steak, medium-well? Please?

Of course, sir. Oh, thanks a lot.

I thought you were a vegetarian.

Vegetarian?

I'll eat a pig's ass if they cook it right.

(MILD CHUCKLE)

But enough about me.

How 'bout those Balkans?

I missed you, Michael.

I'm sorry I left.

(MOANS SOFTLY AND CHUCKLES)

What's the matter?

There's somebody else.

There is? (CLEARS THROAT) When did that happen?

Right after you left.

I left you two weeks ago.

I mean, uh, did you meet her here in Prague?

No, in Jersey.

New Jersey?

Yeah. I was in New York. And Jersey's right next to New York, and I just took a little day trip.

Who is she? What does she do?

(EXHALES)

Well, she's a nurse's aide at St. Sebastian's Hospital.

Her name's Julie. She's got curly hair.

(LAUGHS) I get it.

You want me to jump through a couple of hoops before you take me back.

Okay. (CHUCKLES) I have it coming.

♪ It's killing me But I'm willing to work for it.

♪ You're not here with me

♪ You are so far away, baby... ♪

(WHIMPERING)

Nicole!

You hurt me really bad.

And I can't just let you yo-yo with my heart, okay?

You hurt me, and I'm never gonna let it happen again.

Love don't live here anymore!

Michael, I've never seen you like this.

So open.

So...

So in touch with your feelings.

(CHUCKLING)

Like you could really be in love with a nurse from New Jersey!

(CHUCKLING)

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

(SOBBING)

You're just so much more...

(MOANS) Warm and...

And vulnerable...

(LAUGHS) ...and funny.

Is that like... No, you didn't used to be funny before.

That's funny "haha" funny, or funny "this milk tastes funny" funny?

(LAUGHING) See? That's funny.

Mmm.

You're not Michael Turner.

Uh-oh.

Jake and Nicole are back.

Yeah, and they've got company.

Okay, let's join the party.

I'm Michael! I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you're not Michael Turner.

Come on, you... You gotta believe me. I'm Michael!

NICOLE: You're not Michael. I'm Michael!

(SCREAMS)

Come on! (SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS)

Who's shooting at us?

Rival antique dealers!

Oh.

Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Down here.

I'm sorry I haven't been totally honest with you.

So you're not Michael!

Well, we have the same DNA which makes us kind of the same person! (WHIMPERING)

(GRUNTS)

Come on! In here!

Come on. Come on. Get down. What is this?

It's just a laundry chute. Come on, come on.

NICOLE: It's a laundry chute?

Ew! It smells in here.

It's just dirty drawers.

(SHUSHING)

Be quiet. Be quiet.

(SHUSHING)

NICOLE: (WHISPERING) Are you trying to play footsie with me?

(SHUSHING)


(GRUNTS)

(CLANGING)

(GRUNTING)

(RAPID GUNFIRE)

(GRUNTS)

(NICOLE GASPING)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Huh?

Will you shut that off?

With what? My ass?

Reach in my pants. Hell, no!

You've reached in my brother's pants.

(SIGHS)

God...

(GRUNTS)

Hello?

VAS: Mr. Turner?

Vas. You caught me at a real bad time.

What are you doing? Just hang up.

Would you shut the hell up. No, you shut up.

Shut up.

Can I call you back?

VAS: Don't bother.

The Olsany Cemetery. Two hours.

(GASPING) Shit!

There's people coming. There's people coming.

(BREATHING SHAKILY) (WHISPERING) Quiet. Quiet.

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMS LOUDLY)

(GUNSHOT) (GRUNTS)

(BOTH SCREAM LOUDLY)

(RAPID GUNFIRE)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(BOTH GROANING)

I knew I couldn't trust Michael.

Always so secretive, just downright sneaky.

Never even told me that he had a brother.

Some investigative reporter I am, huh?

This antique dealing stuff... This is just a front, right?

You're drug dealers.

You're not even denying it.

I'm going back to the Balkans where I'm safe.

See, I told you I'd handle it.

Very smooth.

Sir, those were Dragan Adjanic's men.

All dead.

Well, obviously he thinks you're still alive.

Uh, by the way, Vas called.

We're on in two hours.

Olsany Cemetery.

As we speak, our field operatives are staking out their perimeter positions.

They'll be with you all the way.

So will we.

Officer Welles has installed a G4 satellite-tracking device to your vehicle.

Unfortunately, that's all we can manage safely. (BEEPS)

Vas will be more worried about wiretaps than he will about weapons, and you can expect him to check both your car and you.

Seale is on his way to the money-transfer site at present.

Obviously we want you to connect to the bomb in the computer and begin the verification process as soon as possible.

Most importantly, once you're connected to the bomb, a signal will be established via satellite between your computer and Welles here, who will try to steal the arming codes while you check the bomb.

So, if they don't have the codes, they can't detonate the bomb?

Right. But you may have to stall.

You may need to buy them some time.

Now, you'll hear three short tones when the process is completed.

(BEEPING THRICE)

Once you've heard the tones, you're satisfied the bomb is real, Vas will give me the account number, and I call Seale and authorize the transfer of money.

And as soon as I get the word from Seale, I'll provide confirmation of the transfer of the $19 million from the Midlands National Bank in Grand Cayman.

You're gonna give this guy $19 million?

I thought you was my man!

$19 million?

Actually, it's all digital dollars.

Ones and zeroes, man.

See, we issue a wire transfer.

The receiving bank seeks out a GFX authorization sequence verifying the funds are available.

It'll take his bank 48 hours to realize that the money doesn't exist.

If the shit hits the fan, you got that watch.

Oh, then I'll know what time it is when the shit hits the fan.

Well, what's this?

(ALARM WAILING)

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Somebody just walked out with a sweater.

That's a panic button.

You press that, and the cavalry comes in.

There are a lot of people counting on you, Mr. Hayes.

OAKES: This is Olsany Cemetery.

Almost two million people are buried here.

HAYES: You think Vas is trying to tell us something?

OAKES: Mmm-hmm.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Yes? (WHISPERS) It's Vas.

Yes, he's with me.

Graficka Road East. (SCANNING)

Graficka Road East, people.

Is that one of ours?

It's one of theirs.

Well, why does he have someone following us if he's the one who's telling us where we're going?

He's following us to make sure no one else is following us.

But someone is.

OAKES: Yeah, that's what makes it so much fun.

They're headed for open country.

Make sure they don't get too close.

Dog One, this is Carolina.

Be advised, we're on a loose leash.

WOMAN: Roger that, Carolina.

OAKES: Here's Mr. Smiley.

Get out of the car.

Your coats, please.

Thank you.

(SCANNING)

(SCANNING)

Mmm. You must be very trusting people to come out here all alone, unarmed.

What makes you think we're alone?

Ah. Straight ahead.


Parish, McCain, come in.

Okay, we're in position.

SWANSON: Sir, we're in place outside Chotesov Monastery.

VAS: Ah, here they are!

And my good friend, Michael.

Welcome to my church where we worship money.

Okay, let's get started.

You wanted to look under the hood.

So look under the hood.


We're online. (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Let's go to work, people.

(BEEPS)

Casing unit.

(BEEPING)

Apex mirror.

Detonating block.

(ALARMS BLARING)

MICHELLE: This is insanity.

Just one electrical surge, and you'll blow us all to hell.

Chill, Michelle. I mean, relax. Relax, Michelle.

Downloading new authentication code.

(MAN SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

One hundred and seventeen seconds to completion.

Now, as soon as I verify the uranium deflector is of weapons grade, we can all be on our merry way.

Uranium deflector?

This is plutonium reflector.

Plutonium. That's what I meant.

Plutonium.


Sixty seconds.

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Michael, why is this taking so long time?

I'm running one last diagnostic test.

I mean, if you stayed on top of things, you'd understand that the traditional checks are not 100% foolproof.

This last test was designed by the head of nuclear science at Cal Tech, a Dr. Dre.

Thirty seconds. (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Dr. Dre, along with Dr. Erving and Professor Griff, and the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan, know that it is best, when you have a baseline screen situation, to achieve a postopular cataclysmic calibration or something we like to call the Shaq Attack.

Shaq Attack?

Yes. Named after Dr. O'Neal of, uh, Los Angeles, formerly of Orlando.

All we need are the arming and the disarming codes.

I know, I know, but it's a mess.

I mean, I'm looking at it, and I don't know what's what.

We're gonna have to dump it all just to get the two codes, sir.

I hope we can stall long enough, because there's, there's so much information here.

What we're doing right now can help not only in nuclear energy but also medicine, food...

(BEEPING)

I believe everything is in order.

Sorry, sir.

But have the codes been moved to Jake's computer? Yeah.

All right, let's get him, the bomb and the computer back here on the double.

VAS: You got the bomb.

Now where is my remaining $19 million?

(RINGING)

Yes, sir. Show them the money.

Copy that.

(PROCESSING)

Vas's account number received.

Initiating wire transfer from Midlands National Bank of Bullshit.

Oh, man, is Vas gonna be pissed when he goes to an ATM.

Fantastic. It's working.

(LAUGHS AND KISSES)

I love it. American and Russians work together again with Swiss bank accounts.

Gentlemen, I hope to see you never again.

(LAUGHS)

Dragan Adjanic.

You know any good prayers?

You got a lot of nerve showing your face in my church.

HAYES: Wait. That's the guy who killed my brother, isn't it?

OAKES: Uh-huh.

Michelle. What the hell is he doing here?

Hey, Michelle, I told you not to deal with him!

What's happening?

Somebody do something. Very interesting.

Vas is being double-crossed by his own men.

Come on, shoot him!

What time is it, Mr. Hayes?

(ALARM WAILING)

Code red! Code red! Everybody, move!

Kill him.

(BEEP)

(COCKS GUN)

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)


Here's the computer.

There's your bloody bomb.

Where's my money?

Triple-cross. Come on!

(GUNSHOTS AND FIRING)


Having fun, Mr. Hayes?

(GRUNTING)

(RAPID GUNFIRE)

Don't shoot the bomb, you fool!

Don't shoot me either!

Go! Go! Take the bomb!

I'm going, I'm going!


(GRUNTS)

You drive!

Go on!

(BULLETS CLINKING)

Hey, wait for me!

Come on.

(BEEPING)

Come on, go.

Faster. I'm going! I'm going!

(PANTING)

MCCAIN: It's a bloodbath, sir.

Vas and his men are dead.

HAYES: Come on, man! You're James Bond!

Shoot the tires out or something!

OAKES: Can't get close enough! Well, do something!

Throw out some tacks or something!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTS)

Well, you got your wish.

I wish for Jennifer Lopez naked.

We've looked everywhere. They're just not here.

Look, I have satellite position on them.

I can assure you they're there.

(BEEPING)

Wait a minute. Hold on, sir.

(BEEPING)

They lost their tracking device.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Whoa! What the hell are you doing?

What, not smooth enough for your ass?

It's not my ass I'm worried about.

It's the bomb in the backseat.

There's a bomb in the backseat!

Yeah! Oh, we're gonna die!

Have a little faith, Mr. Hayes.

I'll have a little faith if you give me a little gun!

(BLANK SHOTS)

Damn!

(RAPID GUNFIRE)

Whoa! Whoa!

(SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNT)

Are you okay? Oh, here they come. Here they come.

OAKES: Pull back! Pull back! They're shooting at us! They're shooting at us!

Shoot the gun! Come on, pull back.

Pull back! I'm pulling!

(GRUNTS)

OAKES: Hit him!

Hit the son of a bitch!

(HAYES SCREAMS)

Get off! Off! Take a bus!

(YELLING)

No!

Uh-oh!

Whoop his ass!

Yeah!

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Get him! Get him! Get him! Kill him! Shoot him! Do something!

I got glass in my ass!

I want to go to Jersey! I want to see my girl!

I want to watch Oprah!

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

Put your head in the car!

Put your head in the damn car!

(GRUNTING)

He's whoopin' your ass!

No! No!

OAKES: Take it! (GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

Back it up! Come on, back up!

Okay, okay, I'm backing up!

Get the bomb! Get the bomb!

Faster! I can't...

(GLASS SHATTERING)

No! No, no! Do something!

I want more money!

(HAYES SCREAMING)

I hate you! I hate you!

(COUGHING)

I don't know about you, but I'm hungry.

Can someone give me some good news?

Yeah. He successfully downloaded the arming codes into the computer.

But they still have the computer?

OAKES: True, but he's put his retinal signature in.

"Welcome, Michael Turner."

Try again.

SEALE: So, obviously they can't access it without Jake.

YATES: And when they figure that out?

So what do we do now, sir?

We have to make sure that Jake's eyes don't meet that computer screen.

Right. Wrong.

Wrong? Sir, eventually someone will break the lock and access the code with or without Jake.

So basically we, uh... We must find them before that happens.

Well, there is the obvious way to flush them out.

We dangle him?

No. Give him a wire. They pick him up.

He gives us a signal when he sees the nuke.

Look, if his eyes get anywhere near that computer, we take everyone out, including him.

I need an executive finding from the President immediately.

So he's expendable. Is that it?

You need to get the subject on board. You tell him whatever you want.

Subject?

Oakes, we both know this is the only way.

Yeah.

No!

No! It ain't happening! No!

You want me to be your little, little worm on a hook!

They never heard of Jake Hayes!

They don't even know I exist!

Just let me go back to Jersey, get my girl and disappear!

Hey, man, I'm sorry I'm not Kevin.

But even Kevin didn't make it out of this alive.

Will you let me show you something?

No.

That's Jersey.

So what?

OAKES: Okay, let's look at where you live, for example.

Where Julie lives. Your foster mother.

These people have a nuclear bomb, Jake.

(EXPLOSION)

The blast alone will kill thousands.

Then comes the shock wave... Blowing away buildings, tunnels, bridges.

And then comes our old friend, radiation, spread by wind and water, infecting the living and the unborn.

And I think we, just you and me, might have a chance to stop it.

That's all I'm saying.

'Cause they've got us in check, Mr. Hayes

and, uh, we can't let them get checkmate, can we?

Look...

The way I see it, you only got three moves.

Attack, retreat, or block.

You can't attack, 'cause you don't know where they are.

Retreat, boom.

Then we block.

You could block.

But you only got one piece left.

And that's a pawn.

Sir, these gentlemen wish to see Mr. Turner's phone records.

Mr. Turner's phone records are sealed.

(GRUNTS)

Mr. Turner made one phone call to the United States.

To Jersey City, New Jersey.

Hey! What? No!

Oh, help! Help! Help!

Go, go, go, go, go!

You, what do you want?

Just take whatever you want!

(SHUSHING) What is your connection to Michael Turner?

I don't know a Michael Turner.

Who?

Him.

That's my boyfriend. That's Jake.

Did he sell you bad tickets?

You're still there, right?

Yes, we're still here, Mr. Hayes.

Y'all got guns, right?

Yes, we have guns, Mr. Hayes.

Okay.

Make sure you got bullets in 'em.

Mmm-hmm. Lots of bullets.

(PHONE RINGING)

Answer the phone, Mr. Hayes.

Michael Turner Antiques.

JULIE: Jake?

Julie! How'd you find me?

Michael Turner?

HAYES: (STAMMERS) Who's this?

Or should I call you Jake, Mr. Hayes?

You have one chance of seeing this woman alive.

Take the next plane to New York, return to your apartment in New Jersey and wait till I call you.

If you're followed, she will die.

If you attempt to involve any authorities, she will die.

Just let me talk to her! (HANGS UP)

Hello? Hello!

Sorry. You used Julie!

She was your pawn, right? No.

So all this bullshit about being something bigger than you and me meant something bigger than me and Julie, right?

Will you let me explain?

Just get me on a goddamn plane.

MAN: (OVER RADIO) Delta-zero Sierra. Delta-zero Sierra.

This is Oscar-seven Tango. Oscar-seven Tango.

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

MAN: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

It's got to come up now.

Now! Notify all units...

All right.

I'm injecting a spread spectrum transceiver behind your ear.

So we'll hear what you hear, and if they take you to the bomb, we'll know it.

Hold still, please.

(SCREAMS) Come on, man! You can't put that in a flower or somethin'?

No, it'd be too obvious.

Now, I'll be linked to you the whole time. That's it.

Good luck, son. Let's go.

There's something I ought to tell you.

I know. If the situation gets out of hand, they could take me and Julie out.

Don't worry, son.

There'll be extra money in this mission.

Now, first of all, I'm not your son.

Second of all, did it ever occur to you that I might want to do somethin'

'cause it's right thing?

Hey! I'm the one with a dead brother!

I'm the one who misses his girl!

And I'm supposed to put up with your shit 'cause you're a spy? Big deal!

Every woman on the planet's a spy.

I mean, you guys can't even find Saddam Hussein.

You know, if you told a woman right now at 8:00 in the morning that her husband was sleeping with Saddam Hussein, she'd be able to find Saddam by 8:00 at night and say, "Saddam, don't you ever come around my house no more!"

Hey, I did you a favor, okay?

You called me!

Now, if you ever talk down to me again, I'm gonna beat your ass so bad, you'll be the only guy in heaven with a wheelchair!

You better act right before you get smacked right, bitch.

Hmm.

All right, the show's over. Go back to work!

A bomb on American soil, that's the nightmare we've always talked about.

How do you think they got it here?

You'd be surprised by what you can send by air freight.

Did we?

Did we use his girlfriend, huh?

No, but I'm sure Yates would if he thought of it.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello?

Listen closely.

No, no. You listen closely!

I got to hear her voice! I want to hear her voice! Right now!

You are in no position to make demands, Mr. Hayes.

But if it gives you pleasure...

(GROANS)

No! No! Don't hurt her! Tell me what you want!

They want him to wait outside his apartment for a car to pick him up.

We've initiated positions here, here and here to set up a tail.

How do they shake us?

MAN: Well, we can assume that they think we are shadowing them.

YATES: Right. So they may move him 10 or 20 times before they think they've lost us.

Okay, we got the gray Ford van. Gray Ford van.

Wish we didn't have to do it this way.

Well, I'm sorry if my plan lacks the perfect precision with which you've handled the case so far.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Radiation detection units are scouring the city.

And we've issued portable ABG spectrometers to all surveillance teams.

We need to talk worst-case scenario.

Evacuation readiness. Let's have the National Guard standing by.

MAN: National Guard, this is Comm Center Four.

Stand-by for instruction.

Roger that, Comm Center Four. Standing by.


SEALE: They're pulling into the abandoned St. Francis hospital, sir.

Take positions.

We have six viable entry points.

Move.

Where's Julie?

Quiet. Do as you're told.

Where's Julie?

I hope you're going to play ball with us.

That's Dragan.

Hey, man, I ain't doing shit till I find Julie.

Oh.

(CURRENT BUZZES) (GASPS)

What the hell was that?

(GROANS)

We've lost the audio with Hayes, sir.

All right. We move to the contingency plan.

MAN: Yes, sir. We can't afford to take any chances here.

Hit your entry points hard on my command.

If it breathes, it dies.

Hold it! Think we've got something!

Entry teams, pull back! Pull back!

MAN: (OVER RADIO) Entry teams, pull back!

Here he comes.

Okay, they're moving him. Everything is going according to plan.

Back on plan, people!

Keep your distance, folks. They may do this dance all day long.

(HAYES GRUNTS) MAN: Get up!

DRAGAN: Well, you're on your own now, Mr. Hayes.

(BEEPING)

Sir, I'm getting a signal back with Hayes!

See if you can clean it up. Will do, sir.

I'm heading down to communication central!

Looks like they're heading back to Jersey.

Wonder what the hell they're doing.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Sir, what are you doing?

Your eyes are going to activate this computer.

The only question is, will they still be in your head?

Where's Julie?

Oh, she's lovely!

And she will stay that way if you cooperate.

JARMA: Open your eyes, Mr. Hayes, and look into the computer!

No! Open your damn eyes!

HAYES: (GROANS) No!

They're trying to scan his eyes.

Jesus Christ, the bomb is in the van.

Entry teams, the van is hot! Move now!

Cut away his eyelids.

(SCREAMS)

(BEEPING)

SEALE: Sir, they're going to take out Jake. What are we doing?

OAKES: It isn't Jake. How do you know?

They had to have a decoy. Bring the subject out with a bag over his head.

You do the math.

Faster! Go!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GUNS COCKING)

YATES: Hold your fire!

Subject is down.

Repeat, Jake Hayes is down.

It's not him. The bomb's not here.

(GUN CLICKS)

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

It's done.

Thank you.

See you on the other side.

Did you use the password?

Password?

Hey, I don't speak terrorist, but I only counted eight number sequences.

And you're gonna need the seven-letter password to activate the mechanism.

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

Bullshit.

No, see that's... That's eight letters.

There's no password. The bomb is already armed.

Hi. What took you so long?

I almost killed somebody!

Did they arm the bomb?

Yeah, this one just called in enabling codes. I got to find Julie.

Okay, the bomb's hot.

There's a fail-safe measure built into the detonator.

Should give us a short countdown period.

How short? On the outside, 20 minutes.

What's the inside? Five to ten.

Did they say where the bomb was? No.

She's not here!

When we find the bomb, we'll find her.

Did they say anything? Just think.

Try and remember. Come on.

Think. Redial!

They called in the codes. They called in the codes!

Okay, hold on. (BEEPS)

Give me the address to this number. 4-3-1-9-7-4.

Listen, I need this address. Listen, listen.

Get me this number. Take me to that address! I need it now! Not later, now!

MAN: Yes, sir.

Okay, it's coming, Oakes. Coming. Yeah!

Listen up, folks. MAN: 89 East 42nd Street!

89 East 42nd!

Wait a minute. That's Grand Central Station!

That's three blocks from here. Come on!

Support can re-route and be there in 20 minutes.

OAKES: Get out of the way!

CIA! Coming through!

Out of the way! Move! Move!

Get out of the way! Get out!

Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

Move it! Move it! Get out of the way!

Move it! Move it!

Out of the way! Move it!

Move it! Out of the way!

All right. The call originated from over there.

Could be anywhere. This is one hell of a place to blow up.

Times Square is a few blocks away!

Power grids... The whole infrastructure of the city could collapse.

(BEEPING) I'm getting something here.

HAYES: Wait, what's that?

This is a low-energy gamma scintillation probe.

Oh, yeah. I left mine's at home.

The case is lined with lead.

We'd only get a hit if we were within 100 square yards.

So we got a hit, right?

Yeah, well, the auto-range indicates it's here.

In here, where? Here where?

It's right here. The signal is constant.

(BEEPING INTENSIFIES) It's under us! Come on!

Move it! Move! Move!

Out of the way! Move!

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON SPEAKER)

Signal's getting stronger!

CIA. We need your help!

MAN: (ON SPEAKER) This is Emergency Services. Please evacuate the building.

Out of the way!

(SIRENS WAILING)

Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!

This way!

HAYES: Come on! Out of the way!

SEALE: Come on!

We're real close! What's in there?

Lost luggage. Open it.

This lock's been tampered with.

OAKES: Get away from the door! (GROANS)


(GRUNTS)

Jake. Get the bomb. I'll cover you.

Why don't you get the bomb and I'll cover you?

Okay, I'll get the bomb!

(GRUNTS)

Okay, go, go!

(GROANS)

Julie!

No, no. Hold on. Hold on.

Ah.

(GROANS)

Jake?

(GRUNTS)

Jake, where are you? HAYES: I'm coming!

It's in the final phase. Three minutes and it's goodbye to half of Manhattan.

I need you here for the enabling codes.

You said if we found the bomb, we'd find Julie!

I need you here now! Come on!

Jake, I'll find her. (GROANS)

You're bleeding, man. You're, you're bleeding!

Now, listen to me. When they scanned your eyes you saw the codes. Try and remember them.

Whenever I hear numbers, my head converts them into chess moves or seats at the Garden.

It's the only way I could remember.

Take your time. Just relax.

You know the codes. You can do it. I know you can.

Okay. Queen's bishop three,

across from mezzanine section...

3-0-4!

Okay. Let's see.

I saw a queen's bishop three, aisle seat, in section 142.

142. Two more to go.

Okay. I think I got it. (DOOR OPENS)

Did you find her?

(GUNSHOT) (JULIE WHIMPERS)

Touch that bomb, she dies.

Keep going, Jake.

The bomb goes off, everybody dies.

OAKES: Two more numbers. (TIMER BEEPING)

They'll learn what death is.

Your country grows fat while people all over the world starve.

You stay at home, you watch our blood spilled on television...

War reduced to video games.

He's stalling, Jake.

Enter the codes now!

You take sides in conflicts you know nothing about, dictating to other people how they should live.

You're so keen on playing God.

(CHUCKLES) Well, now is your chance to meet him!

I'll give you three seconds.

Then I'll kill her. Go ahead.

One!

Two!

No. I'll kill you!

Three!

(WHIMPERING)

(GROANS)

(JULIE SCREAMING)

(GROANS)

(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)

Move, move, move!

Jake, what... Honey, honey...

I love you. Let me do this.

Rook six four.

Three! Okay, okay. One more, one more!

(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)

Wait a minute.

(WHISPERS) A, B, C, D, E, F, G...

Move, move!

Three.

(MOUTHING) One.

(TIMER BEEPS)

(MACHINE POWERS DOWN)

Well, that's done.

That's it?

That's all it does? Beep, beep, beep?

That's all we wanted it to do.

(DOOR EXPLODES) (SCREAMS)

HAYES: Don't worry, baby. It's okay. JULIE: (SHUDDERING) Jake.

Clear, sir. Go ahead. Go, go!

SWANSON: Officer Seale is down. We need a medic.

It's gonna be all right. It's okay. Who is that?

Where's the bomb? Right here.

How much time do we have?

OAKES: Mr. Hayes defused the bomb. HAYES: Don't worry.

HAYES: I've got you. YATES: Oakes has been hit!

Roger that. HAYES: Stay with me.

(JULIE WHIMPERING) I love you.

JULIE: I missed you. HAYES: I missed you, too.

People, we did it. (ALL CHEERING)

Well, which star is your brother's?

There are no names, Ma.

Agent identities are never revealed, even after they die.

But they're all honored right here.

Their names are written in this book, their families sign it, and then the pages are sealed forever.

It's a book of forgotten heroes.

Nah, they're not forgotten.

Jake?

Hey.

Thanks for keeping me off that wall.

Well, stay off of it!

Okay.

Ma?

This is from me and Julie.

I just hope it brings a little joy in your life.

Aw, I knew you'd make me proud! (LAUGHS)

Oh, this is just such...

Oh, good Lord!

$90,000?

No, that's the wrong one, Ma.

Here, this is yours. This is for when we get married.

(GASPS) Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Oh, $10,000 is much more than I need.

Then give some back!

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Hey, honey. Can you walk Ma to the car?

I got to talk to Oakes. Yeah.

(CHUCKLING)

Congratulations on your engagement.

So, I'll see you at the wedding, right?

Goodbye, Mr. Hayes.

Oh, I see.

No personal attachments.

(ALL CHEERING AND CLAPPING)

Take this! Here, take this.

(LAUGHING)

Hey. Yeah, what's up?

How are you? How are you?

(CHUCKLES) What's up, man?

Congratulations, Mr. Hayes.

Oakes!

You didn't RSVP. I figured weddings weren't your thing.

I'm on a new assignment.

Well, if you're supposed to be undercover at a black wedding, I think you the wrong guy for the job!

An old friend of Kevin's escaped from Rikers Island.

Hey, man, I don't care if he escaped from Temptation Island!

I'm not going nowhere. I just got married.

Can't a brother get a piece of cake?

The guy who escaped is Carlos Palmeros, the world's foremost assassin.

Carl... I don't care if it's Carlos Santana!

The world's foremost guitarist.

"The world's foremost assassin."

That's like the Tiger Woods of murder!

Well, Kevin was responsible for putting him away.

The problem is he thinks you're Kevin so he's coming after you to kill you.

Oh! No. No.

That's not happening. That's not happening. That's right.

I just got married, I'm gonna go off with my wife, I'm gonna be happy for two years, and I'm gonna be miserable for 90.

Just like everybody else! (LAUGHS)

I got you. I got you!

So there's no killer?

No. Not yet.

So you just came here for my wedding?

I wouldn't have missed it. Not for the world.

Oh, I get it. So, you and Swanson are next.

Me? No. I'm never gonna get married. Not again.

You never gonna get married again?

The first thing you got to learn is...

Don't take your girlfriend to a wedding.

We may need to call on you in the future.

It's your wedding present...

From us, at the agency.

Two tickets to Hawaii?

I can't take this, Oakes.

Jake, sweetie? Come on.

Your wife is calling you, Mr. Hayes.

Husband!

Get in the car, bitch.

Hey, Oakes!

(ALL EXCLAIM)

Never say never. (CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

♪ I'm all out of love

♪ I'm so lost without you

♪ I know you were right, believing for so long

♪ I'm all out of love, what am I without you

♪ I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong ♪

♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the chickenhead, go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back in and let ya knees bend

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the monastery, go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back out and let ya knees bend

♪ Somebody move, nobody get hurt

♪ This is official, man, only for dance floor experts

♪ And party animals and me being a rhyme cannibal

♪ Flammable Hannibal, while it's bangin', it's understandable

♪ Now back to somebody movin', nobody get hurt

♪ My intentions on this one is the party wait up for sho'

♪ Now go to work and do the chicken (IMITATES ROOSTER CROWING)

♪ Do the chicken and once you do it's kickin'

♪ Believe me dirty, it's kickin' through the door

♪ Throwback Vokal valore

♪ I see me a do it fresh off tour, head to the floor

♪ Take it round, round, chickenhead, breakin' it down

♪ Created by my town the monastery is found

♪ There won't be no extra space to waste

♪ Pick up the pace, see your heart rate

♪ And if you start to hyper-ventilate

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the chickenhead, go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back in and let ya knees bend

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the monastery, go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back out and let ya knees bend

♪ First, ladies put ya drink by ya purse

♪ Fellas, tuck in ya shirt and put in biblical words

♪ Sayin', ladies get ya dip right and ya hip right

♪ Fellas, ya betta find that and get behind that

♪ Third, you can do it, shaken or stirred

♪ Slow up per word and flap like a bird

♪ Four, do it some more, five, make sure it's live

♪ Six, ladies and fellas, here we go now, swing

♪ Seven, laid back like you lookin' for heaven

♪ Let ya body preach like we in church and you the reverend

♪ Eight, if you made it this far, dirty you straight

♪ If not, you better practice and get it for it's too late

♪ Nine, is this the time to prepare for the dime?

♪ Ten, start all over again

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the chickenhead, go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back in and let ya knees bend

♪ Breathe in, breathe out

♪ Do the monastery, go on, let it out

♪ Breathe out, breathe in

♪ Put ya back out and let ya knees bend ♪

♪ Six million ways to live, we live lavish

♪ Superior deluxe rap status

♪ To carry that mattress with no bounce

♪ A sharp cactus, blanket

♪ Leavin' scratches across the atlas

♪ Buildin' above civilians

♪ Takes two looks to recognize the villain

♪ Two blinks to make your heart sink

♪ Three-sixty degrees like a roller rink

♪ That's how my life moves upon a solar ring

♪ Try so hard my soul to sing, but still my pen moves on to bolder things

♪ Can't hang like a soldier around you

♪ He who can't compete against a flowing thing

♪ Blood is the life through the mainframe

♪ Keep it up top of stray slayings

♪ How you livin', power driven to the maximus, passionate

♪ Innocent to where the action is

♪ A small fraction of the population

♪ Holding down its occupation

♪ It's wrong concentration

♪ A simple conversation I'll listen to the rhythm

♪ Sometimes we don't agree, but not afraid to talk about it openly

♪ I took it overseas to lock it down totally

♪ Package it like groceries

♪ You take it to the apex

♪ Even straight brothers golden

♪ To my peeps across the ocean

♪ Brother, you sober or stay smokin'

♪ Down, down to earth or stay floatin'

♪ Flood gates about to break open

♪ Six million ways to live

♪ Six, Six-six-six million ways to live life

♪ Boy, there's six million ways to live life

♪ Whole lot to give, yo, so we grab mice

♪ 'Cause there's six million ways to live lavish

♪ Beyond all the misery and mathematics

♪ Oh, there's six million ways to live

♪ Six million ways to live

♪ 'Cause there's six million ways to live lavish

♪ Beyond all the misery and mathematics

♪ Six million ways to live

♪ Six million ways to live ♪