Bad Kids of Crestview Academy (2017) Script

Harvard graduates of 19-ought-seven, as you enter this new chapter in your lives, you can use your wisdom and your brains!

Crestview academy for girls? After...

We've got reports of fire and a possible hostage situation at crestview academy.

Charlie-four-bravo.

All units in the vicinity, please respond. Over.

Whoo!

Team one, do you read me? Team one, do you read me?

Copy that.

We are code green.

All units, possible man down.


Hands up!

You know the drill.

She is not giving up.

You are not going to do anything!

You are going to turn yourself in like the last one.

Nice and slow.

Go to hell.


Polish your bike?

What?

Polish your bike?

Yeah, sure, kid. Knock yourself out.

Hello?

Hello?

Ah, Siouxsie with an "X."

How is my little Indian Princess?

You mind?

Hmm?

Oh, got you.

Now, what can I put in your shopping basket today?

What you should've already done, Ben.

Excuse me, in my domain, you call me the Naked Wizard.

What?

Well, yeah, 'cause nothing hides from my wizardry.

Just like what's under your clothes.

I'd penetrate that.

Keep your dick habits to yourself.

Do you have it?

One super-creepy-style virus no computer can resist.

Just slide it into the lecture-room computer.

And I'm on the detention list.

Taking care of business as we speak.

Are you serious?

I did everything you suggested and I'm still not on the list?

It'll be done as soon as you arrive.

Give it to me, baby.

Fine. I'll PayPal you when I'm done.

Hey, I just got to ask.

If you really think it's murder, why don't you just go to the police?

Because, Naked Wizard, when I have my proof, they'll burn.

You know you want it.

Fuck, she's crazy.

But I'd tap that.

Thanks, kid.

Where's the Benjamin?

You're shitting me, right? Beat it.


All this money.

God, I hate this school.


Hmmm. Are you sure you're in detention today?

I'm having trouble pulling up the list.

You don't think that I've earned my place here?

Miss Hess!

This is not a part of the Crestview-approved grieving process!

Get off the car.

No can do, Mr. Nash.

My sister's corpse splashed all over the hood of your car.

And I'm sorry about that.

The world needs to know!

This isn't gonna help anyone.

Oh.

Please, get off the car.

I mean, first the hood, now the roof.

Yeah. The side of the car.

No, it's not appropriate. It's not appropriate!

I want you to come see me after school for detention!

Ooh, I'll come see you. For detention!

Because I've been bad. I've been so bad. Oh!

I've seen this all before. Okay.

It hurts me, to give it to you but you're gonna have detention.

It hurts me, but I like it.

No, I don't do that.

Yes, yes! Don't do that. Let's go.

You're a witness. She's a witness as well. Kids, get back to class.

Yes, you've been so bad and naughty.

All of you go to class. It's fine.

We're gonna burn another car tomorrow. Back to class.

Everybody, detention, 'cause you've been bad, you've been bad, you've been bad!

In spite of your actions...

Over 100,000 hits on YouTube.

Right, but Headmaster Nash usually reserves his weekend punishments for only certain students.

Oh, you mean the rich kids?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I do not like using the R word.

All right, well, Dr. Knight, Mr. Na...

Headmaster Nash told me to come here today.

I don't know. There must be some kind of error in your dumbass computer.

Siouxsie, Mr. Nash is very clear on his rules, and he loves updating his lists properly.

But if you insist that he put you on the list, I can give him a call.

No, no, it's okay.

What kid willingly comes to detention on a Saturday, right?

Yeah, well, it's protocol.

If you're not on the list, you can't even be on campus on a Saturday.

Especially after that horrible event that happened.

Just one second here.

Oh.

There you go. Hmmm.

Just appeared.

How wonderful.

Let's get you fitted right into your custom detention, shall we?

Yay.

We must find Max.

That weirdo?

Oh, well, he has the pass code, Siouxsie.

And I think you'd like him, giving you both have the same Indian heritage.

The only thing that guy and I have in common is that we hate to clean up after the white man.

Oh, my.

Siouxsie, did I ever say I was sorry about your sister?

No.

No one has.

She was a light at this school and a wonderful journalist.

Yeah.

If only I had known she were depressed.

I have an assortment of medications...

She wasn't depressed.

Oh, of course. Yeah.

That was less than appropriate.

My apology is a ball of light that I hand to you.

Wow. Thanks.

Oh, there he is.

Max!

Max.

Dr. Knight.

How are you today? Wonderful.

How could I not be on this glorious day?

It's a good day to mop.

Yes, of course.

Max, can you open the library for us?

But the other bad kids aren't...

They're not here yet.

Oh, there are no such things as bad kids, Max.

They're only misguided.

If your mother were alive, she'd be...

Ashamed. Say it Broadway, dad.

Otherwise us gays just ignore breeders.

Being gay is the last thing on my list of problems with you.

Oh, yay.

Using and dealing drugs, getting caught having sex in bathrooms, that's at the top.

Dad, everyone knows you have to go where the dick is.


Mother, why am I even here?

You're a senator.

Yes, who happens to be going after the presidency, so we need to be squeaky clean.

And after that party you threw, detention is the least you could do.

I wasn't even there. The least you could do.

Yes, mother.

If you had any real influence, I wouldn't need to be here.

Baby, you can't go pushing silly white girls into swimming pools for no reason.

Jesus, daddy, who's really white these days?

Someone died, faith.

And we do not take the Lord's name in vain.

Look at it this way, after today, we can put this goddamn thing behind us.

Christ, mom, adjust your meds.

Oh, Max, children are a vocation, yet you act like it's a miracle that they don't kill each other.


Phones, please.

Thank you.

No Candy Crushing during detention hours.

Ah, that ratchet bitch. Cute.

Good god.

This thing just got a lot more interesting.

How wonderful, you're all friends.

Shall we?

Phone, please. Thank you. Thank you.

Now, to prevent any new incidents from occurring, every special door has a pass code instead of a lock.

If the power goes out, the doors will automatically unlock.

So, this will be safe yet fun for us all.

Max?

Max?

Code's not working.

Code's not working?

Awesome. Detention cancelled.

Sweet!

No, no. Why don't you guys take this restroom opportunity while we fix this tiny little issue.

It should only be a moment, I'm sure. Right, Max?

I don't know.

I hear bad things.

Right.

Well, off you go. Come on, come on.

Ah, yeah, kill the fucking Pope!

Yo, yo, yo, BW.

Come on, come on, free sample.

Your sister loved it!

Did I see on Twitter your father's been looking at houses in Washington?

That's right, he'll be a spiritual advisor to the nation if Senator Wilkes gets the nomination.

When she gets the nomination. And my mother...

Will receive what droppeth from heaven.

Courtesy of Attila the Hun.

You know nothing.

Sure about that, Ho Chi Minnie Mouse?

Bitch.

Well, I'll give you girls a moment alone.

What does she know?

All I know is her shit stinks.

Undercrust.

My sister and those kids...

You would think that single day should've filled the school's

"That's Trucking Horrible" quota for...

Well, forever, but...

Then, last week, with your sister...

Were you friends with her?

Not to hang out with her.

I'm glad I wasn't there when it happened.

Were you even at your party? I didn't see you there.

Got to stay squeaky clean for mom's latest campaign.

Mmm. Good idea.

We were talking about Alyson.

Oh, god.

Shouldn't have gotten so drunk.

Or gotten so off the roof.

Fuck you.

Hey, I'm not the one she pushed into a pool.

You saw that?

Um, the entire senior class saw that.

Oh, uh, time for another...

Hey, come on!

Tell me what happened, or you won't get this back.

Really?

Fine. Story time it is.

Whoo!

Seniors 2015!

Lean and mean, bitches!

Pfft! Piss!

They're serving piss!

Come on, where's the good stuff?

Come on! Mr. Marquez!

Unacceptable, Mr. Marquez. Get down.

Come on, Mr. Nash. Right now!

Despite the fact that the Wilkes are kind enough to let us use their personal venue, this is still an official school event.

I'm gonna get you for this, Nash.

Suck it up, Ethel.

She's been bad. She's being punished.

Let me give you a little lesson.

Once you got 'em by the balls, hearts and minds will follow.

I'm already ahead of you, Mr. Nash.

Right here.

Hey, watch out for the retarded boy!

I got you covered, sweet cheeks.

There you go.

Are you new to Crestview?

Sorta.

Have fun, guys.

Here ya go, Yamoho. Wink-wink.

Oh, right.

You take the red cup and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Moron. Bitch, please.

That's suicide, Alyson!

What are you thinking?

Siouxsie, you need to stop getting in my way.

I'm just trying to help.

Help yourself to a drink.

Oh!

You fucking bitch!

So, Brian, I heard you have a really awesome friend.

Yeah, yeah. You know how he hangs.

Yeah, he's a baller.

I'm gonna kill her!

Bitch!

Oh, Brian, we have to get you out of that shirt.

Oh, come on.

Mr. Alan, it's time to break stereotypes, not reinforce them.

No, no, no! Ah!

Come on, get back to the party.

It's time to Macarena. Let's go.

Don't tweet that.

Oh!

Well, now there's something you don't see every day.

Ladies, get dressed.

Oh, good Lord.

Ugh.

They're not with us.

Why not?

Get up. Get up.

Young man, take his cock out of your mouth!

Put your clothes on. Let's go!

Mr. Marquez, I will see you in detention.

Oh, my god, she jumped! Oh, she fucking jumped!

My car!

Shame no one saw her leap.

But everyone saw her crash.

Totally flogged my night. Well, um, for an hour.

Then I found an even hotter piece of ass.

You get more ass than a toilet seat?

White boys like them some Latin spice.

Speaking of, my vial. Story time's over.

Drugs kill.

What were you two even fighting about anyway?

Just a little bit of "None of your fucking business."

Rawr. Apache has an axe.

We're not the ones that said she wanted to kill her.

I never said that.

My memory's absolutely flawless.

Wow. That's bullshit.

Fuck you too, Faith.

You were so angry at her.

Why do you say that? Girl, what you think?

Do you guys seriously think I had something to do with my own sister's death?

Hello, Facebook.

Twitter. Everybody thinks so.

350 likes can't be wrong.

Wow.

You guys have no idea.

Dr. Knight wants everyone back.

You like lectures?

No.

Light reprimands?

No.

Occasional spankings?

Fuck off.

Look, I know we don't move in the same social circles...

You're rich, I'm poor.

You live in a mansion. I live in a trailer.

Your family eats Sushi and my family eats burgers.

Burgers 24/7. Yeah, you win.

Whatever, I'm sorry.

Can we please just stop pretending to be friends?

Okay?

Look, I get the whole defensive thing.

I get it. Your sister's dead, you're a bitch, but... You're an asshole.

You are never gonna be popular with that attitude.

Any doll can be popular as long as you buy her friends.

Ouch.

You and my mother would get along really well.

I, I don't understand.

It, it's the right code.

Well, if we can't get into the library, what are we going to do, Max?

I have all the codes in my office at the stadium.

I'll go check.

Okay, well, hurry.

Headmaster Nash hates when we get off schedule.

I'll be back! All right.

Where is he going?

That's none of your concern, Faith Jackson.

Guys, we're all just going to stand here and wait.

Now, would anyone care to share their thoughts on what kind of butterfly they'd like to be?

No.

This is stupid, with wings.

Are you serious? An Apatura Iris.

Dr. Knight, can I talk to you for a second?

It's kind of personal.

Okay.

Alone.

Well, I loathe to leave a student in need.

See, um...

It's about my period.

Oh, are you a late bloomer?

No.

I've, um...

I've actually been missing it.

I think I might have a bun in the oven.

Oh!

Do you think that maybe we could talk more privately?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

There you go. Thanks.

What the hell?

Ah, yes.

After the incident, some of the parents argued the statue was inappropriate, but some insist that it's a reminder of our rainwater heritage.

So while they argue, Max is keeping it in here.

Kind of makes things cramped, don't you think?

Sorry, Dr. Knight.


All right, Nash, payback time.


Come on.

Excuse me while I whip this out.

Come on.

Really?

You know you want it.

I don't know what to do with my thumbs.

I know, right?

I'm so bored.

I think I might die of boredom.

It's not working.

There's a surprise.

Where'd you go?

Um, Dr. Knight had to leave.

Did she say why?

She had an emergency at home.

Forgot to feed her cat or pet her kitty. Wink-wink.

I love kitties.

You would.

Maybe she saw a ghost and spooked out.

Spook this, Senorita.

It's not funny. It's too scary.

Especially vengeful ones.

I don't know what to do if I can't get you into the library.

Why not take us to another room?

What room?

I mean, do we really have to sit quietly in the library?

Who says?

The Lecture Hall's cool. There's that big-ass screen.

We can watch a movie.

Stay here.

I have to get into the library.

Okay. Show time.

At least now we can study.

Girl, please.

Ooh, what would Jesus study?

Confucius say, "Man who lay girl on field get peace on earth."

Does confucius say anything about girls who can play field hockey?

Hey, uh, don't you think it's time to take another hit?

I can tell we're gonna be good friends!

Sure you wanna take another hit of that?

Better than talking to you straight people.

Hey, Sara, that thing get porn?

Find something I can salute my flag to.

Wink-wink.

Googling porn, soldiers, flag.

Something's wrong here.

It's acting sluggish.

Your mother sucks cocks in hell.

Stupid school! There's a virus on the network.

Googling kitty porn. Holy shit, man!

Dude, props to whoever set that up!

Your mother sucks cocks in hell.

Oh, shit.

Oh, thank goodness. Oh, no, the Internet's down.

Oh, my god!

Oh, oh, oh, dude, we're surrounded by pussies!

Hey, don't hate on the pussy, man.

I'm just saying it's... It's just not my thing.

Not that there's anything wrong with it, but...

But I...

Oh, shit. Oh!


Crap, he overdosed!

He does drugs all the time.

Hey, Chinese fortune cookie, stop telling us shit we know!

I'm Japanese. We need to help him!

I know CPR. I saw how to do it online.

Bitch, you know where those lips have been?

You've seen that shit online?

Oh, fuck me stupid, he's dead!

We have to get out of here.


What the hell is this?

I don't know!

We got to get outside and call someone.

Metal sliders, iron bars.

It's a mouse trap. It's a mouse trap.

They're trapping us in here!

No, no flipping way.

Oh, my god, what's that smell? Damn, Brian.

Ugh.

Mother trucker, Dr. Knight!

You said we'd be able to leave if there was trouble.

She said she just left?

Yeah.

Where are the codes?

Why do they even have this system?

For, like, tornados or something?

Oh, my god, you are such a cheerleader.

Fuck you. Jesus loves cheerleaders.

How are we gonna get out of here? How are we gonna get out of here?

I have homework to do! We need the codes!

Calm down. Need to breathe? Do you need...

Wait. Let's just do the obvious.

This school really is cursed.

There's no air in here.

I need to study. There's a test on Monday.

We can't get outside, but break into the classrooms.

How? Those doors are made of wood.

You're gonna set them on fire?

No air, no fire, no codes!

No. Jeez, no. I'm gonna bash them in.

Oh, okay.

Max.

He's still got to be by the library.

We got to go find Max. Max.

Screw that. The science room.

Probably has acid and stuff that can devolve metal.

Give me that.

Um, maybe someone should probably go check on Sara before she hurts herself or kills herself or something.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll do that.

You can stay here with the body.

What?

You know, just in case someone calls because of the alarms.

You know, it's probably just glitching because of the curse, right?

That's why Brian died too, right? 'Cause of the curse?

Or he was murdered.

Okay, yeah, just go check on her. I'll stay here.

Okay, cool. Yeah. Okay. Bye.


Dr. Knight?

Yeah. Yes, hello?

Dr. Knight.

Oh, Siouxsie.

Sweetkins.

Will you let me out of this closet, please?

I can't do that yet.

Siouxsie, you are already in trouble.

Do not make it double.

Look, I'm really sorry about the duct tape and stuff.

Yeah, could you just explain why?

No.

But I'm really glad to hear that you're breathing.

Siouxsie, listen to me, please.

Just let me out and we can talk about it, okay?

I understand the desire to act out.

Hey, look, it's not like anyone died, right?

Right?

Siouxsie!

Nutmeg?

My sweet little misguided piece of shit!

Oh.

I need an extraction now.

I don't care how you do it, it needs to get done.

I want out of this curse and fucking school, you fucking bitch!

There you are. Hey, I'm two for two, huh?

The virus and now shutting down all the dividers.

Smegging sucks that I have to hang out in the shadows, though.

I should've just got detention so I could hang with you guys.

Which reminds me, about the detention list.

What the fuck? Ah! Ah!

Praise the Lord, that worked.

Of fucking course.

Oh, Christ, you scared me.

You find anything?

Biblical proportions of fuck-all.

What have you been doing?

I was looking for Sara.

She's still breathing?

I don't know. Couldn't find her.

But I found this.

Ugh. Oh, my god.

What is wrong with you?

My sister used to do a lot of this junk.

Always thought it was gonna kill her.

Not some maniac with a nail gun.

Do you know how to test for poisons?

No.

Fun fact number one, in the 8th century, an Arab chemist turned arsenic powder into an odorless and tasteless form, making it the perfect murder weapon for unwanted relatives.

Ah...

What?

Does that prove it?

He was poisoned?

I dunno.

Oh, I don't...

Uh, I failed chemistry.

You're a wasp without a stinger.

All annoyance, no threat.

Oh, really? Well then, how about you do a bump then?

Do a bump, we'll know for sure.

Fun fact number two...

Poison's the weapon of choice for women.

There's no brute force necessary.

What does that mean? I mean...

Maybe you should watch the girls more closely.

Okay, screw you. I'm already freaking out.

I know.

That's what I was thinking...

What?

Sex... You and me.

It's just a way to relax.

Are you shitting me?

This was all some weird way to hit on me?

Maybe.

I'm not gonna fuck you just because I'm stressed.

Okay, fine whatever. No worries.

I'm really good, though.

Fine. Whatever.

Fuck this spooky shit. Let's do this.

What are you doing?

Sara.

Are you all right?

I saw...

No, nothing. I'm stressed.

I need to find a solution and stop being stressed.

Have you done that?

I thought maybe I could find a way to access the Internet.

You know, like record a YouTube video for help?

I love YouTube.

Have you seen the one where the cat saves the boy?

Yeah! Yeah.

But this virus, it's so unusual.

Like the way the files are downloading from the cloud.

It's dismantling their password protection.

Like how?

Like every single student's personal blog, for one.

Oh, look. One of mine.

Hello, Interweb. It's me again.

I'd like to introduce you to my new friend tebby.

Tebby and I are in the NHS, The Math Club, and we're also field-hockey teammates.

I should also tell you Tebby is a founding member of Crestview's LGBT Club.

I'm not exactly sure what LG... Whatever stands for, but it's very popular and she's asked me to join.

So you're, like...

You like...

What?

Never mind.

Hey, can you click on this one?

The virus hasn't gotten that file yet.

Oh, shit.

Why? Is it important?

Yeah.

What is it?

It's my sister Alyson.

She would upload articles and videos.

What articles?

Legislators doing bad shit, people using politics to screw other people over.

Siouxsie, I'm sorry, but your sister had too much to drink that night.

What happened to her is completely logical.

Logical?

Then how the hell do you explain your actions?

I...

I did what your sister wanted.

What?

Seniors 2015!

Lean and mean, bitches!


I like your tassels. They're hot.

Are you new to Crestview?

Sorta.

Is this one of Nash's punishments?

No, I'm an undercover cop.

This is just how I spy on people's conversations.

Like Jump Street? Yeah.

No, it's a joke. Of course it's Nash.

I'll get him back later.

Have fun, guys.

Here you go, Yamoho. Wink wink.

What's that? Latin spice.

Oh, right.

You take the red cup and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Ethel, your friends just flashed me one of these.

Gross.

Yeah, they were saying, "Hey, Mr. Nash..."

Put that away. What?

Put it away.

You fucking bitch, I'll kill you!

Not if I kill myself first!

Miss hess!

Who said that you could go in this pool?

Oh, shit. Cover for me.

Yeah, go, I got it.

Enjoying yourself?

Are we on? I can party.

You wanna prove that?

Hi. Enjoy the view.

It's... Crazy.

Hotheaded bitch needed to cool off.

Cool off, bitch! No, don't!

What, are you all on the dope?

Ah!

Miss Jackson, see you in detention.

What? Detention!

First time for everything. Ugh!

Everybody, let me show you how the Geisha will impress ya.

Come on now, let's go. Not another pool incident!

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Come on now, we're not...

Hey. You look pissed.

Come on.

All right, all right, come on. We don't want anyone to get hurt now.

We don't want anyone else to get hurt around here.

How you doing? You ready? Yeah, yeah, I'm ready!

Hoo. Okay...

Detention.

What is wrong with you people?

But immediately after...

My car!

Your sister did anything to get to the top.

She chose that moment to jump.

She didn't belong.

Under crust.

Bullshit.

These are the facts as I see them.

But you know what? Situation's changed.

We need to get out of here.

We're trapped.

It's a mouse trap.

We're mice.

You're a mouse...

And I'm a mouse.

This a bad time?

Yes. No. No!

What's up?

We broke into a room that should help us.

Cool. Okay.

Why didn't I think of this?

Good one, Richie. It's pretty sweet, right?

So this is the Industrial Arts Room.

What is this stuff?

This is a Porsche.

It's a drill press, a table saw, a Jigsaw...

This is a jacksaw! Neato.

No, that's not, no.

That's a... Wrench.

Oh.

Well, then why do we even have this stuff?

Don't we already pay people to do it for us?

You're messing with me, right?

All these tools are so somebody can learn how to fix your spare Porsche.

This place is dirty. I've never been in here before.

Is that kitty litter?

Soaks up the oil.

What are you looking for?

Mr. Jimmy has a torch in here so he can teach basic welding.

How do you know this?

Because I know where all the good stuff is.

You took Industrial Arts?

Yep... Shop.

We can't all depend on our fake hair for career boost.

This shit is real. Hey.

Is that it?

Oh, good eye, Sherlock.

What the heck is it doing all the way up there?

I'll go. Ah, its okay, I got it.

Woosh!

What did you do? Nothing!

Sara, don't move!

Oh!


Fuck this!

Faith, no!

I got this.

Faith! Oh, my god, I'm gonna be sick.

Faith, there's gotta be some reason...

Those other kids... Now us!

All these damn roaches. This place is cursed.

Those were accidents.

A lethal accident happens every minute in America.

Not in the same place, moron.

Fine, maybe it is murder.

But what are we gonna do about it?

We're trapped here.

We have a welding torch.

It may take a while, but...

We can cut through the doors now.

Yeah.

It works.

Sweet. Yeah.

It's gonna take a while, though.

Here, let me help you. Oh, no, no, no, no can do.

It's man's work.

Siouxsie, come with me.

Hell with that.

Siouxsie, it's the rules.

What? Bathroom rules?

Spooky shit rules? We don't go alone.

We can't trust Blaine.

What?

Is there something you wanna tell me?

No!

Does it have to do with my sister's murder?

Suicide.

And no.

Does it have anything to do with Blaine?

That was stress.

Oh, shit, you.

Look, I told the cops she was drunk.

She jumped.

You take the red cup and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Moron. Bitch, please.

That's suicide, Alyson.

What are you thinking?

Siouxsie, you need to stop getting in my way.

You fucking bitch, I'll kill you!

Not if I kill myself first.

That was amazing. What is this?

Where did these come from?

It's cool, I got them.

Toast?

Toast.

Miss Hess! Who said you could go in this pool?

She did. That girl.

Oh, shit. Cover for me.

Yeah, go, I got him.

Young lady, explain yourself.

Is that alcohol?

It's alcohol.

What happened?

I pushed her.

It's... Crazy.

Her shirt is wet and her makeup is running.

'Cause she's in the pool. I know she's in the pool!

Why would you do that?

Hot headed bitch needed to cool off.

What? Cool off, bitch!

What, are you all on the dope?

I'm on drugs!

Bull!

Miss Jackson, see you in detention.

What? Detention!

First time for everything.

Argh!

You're the best. Come on.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Aly, come on we have to go. Whoa.

I'm here to have fun and take interviews, and I'm all out of fun.

Come here.

Seniors 2015, bitches! Whoo!

The only thing that can stop Attila the Hen from winning is a scandal.

Wouldn't that be a shame.

We're gonna find me a scandal.

Hey...

Look who it is.

I got it from Erica.

Whoa.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god, she jumped!

Oh, my god, she jumped!

Oh, she fucking jumped!

Help! My car!

Alyson was a bitch.

I mean, she wouldn't stop writing about our parents.

But...

I don't know. I feel...

No shit, you feel guilty.

You're a fucking murderer, Faith!

That's not true. And now Blaine's trying to kill all of us so he can cover up his tracks.

No, he's not.

What?

My sister gets into an accident I... he, uh... he, uh...

He was trying to hook up with your slutty sister.

Slutty? He wouldn't...

No, shit.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Damn. Fast bitch.

Oh, Brian.

You look as bad as you smell.

Oh, fuck it.

I love this phone.

I can record every lie you say and immediately email it to myself at the school.

That's so neat, Alyson. That's great.

So what has your daddy been up to lately?

I heard he's the next Billy Graham to a certain white house.

If she wins the nomination.

The only thing that could stop Attila the Hen from winning is a scandal.

Wouldn't that be a shame.

I gotta find me a scandal.

Hey...

Look who it is.

I'll take it from here, okay?

Did you like how I treated my sister?

Beautiful.

Just like you asked. Yeah.

I told you, family is never as important as success.

So I have a little success, then.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, cheers to that.

I'm good.

Okay, then...

We've already established that your mother covered up the Matt Clark incident, but...

Whoa, cowboy.

Pfft. Sorry.

You just looked a little stressed.

Fuck that.

More like... Fuck me, we are way high up here.

Yeah. That's the idea!

We get high to relieve stress.

Get to know each other, stop stressing over parents and shit.

Stress. Know what I do when I'm stressed?

What?

Sex.

You got to be...

Whoa.

I really think we should.

I'm... Really good.

I...

I wouldn't fuck you with your mother's dick.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god, she jumped!

Oh, my god, she jumped!

Help! She fucking jumped!

My car!

Get back. Get back!

Miss, get away from there!

No! No! No, wait, no!

Stop! That's my sister! Get back!


You look stressed.

I'm sorry you saw that.

Although this was your plan, I'm guessing.

Sneak into detention...

Steal the video with your virus.

How did you know?

'Cause it turns out I'm a genius.

I'm a genius.

I mean, shit, even my mother doesn't know I'm the one saving her ass this time.

I'll let her know when the time's right.

Say... Around Inauguration Day.

The others knew?

Well...

Not everything.

So you did all of this...

Because your mother is... Unstoppable... Yeah.

And no little Pocahontas bitch says otherwise.

Argh! Argh!

Ah!

What the...

No, Faith! Faith!

Argh! Faith!

Faith, he killed everyone! He just admitted it!

Blaine? That is a lie.

This bitch was just trying to kill me!

Oh, my god, that's why she's here.

That's why she's here.

She snuck in and poisoned Brian.

Then she rigged that saw to killed Sara.

No! No, he...

I have never killed anybody, you sexist pig!

She asked you to confess, right?

Right. The second you were alone.

Do you really think you can trust this under crust?

Faith.

Faith, no! He...

He needs to pay!

Faith, this bitch was just trying to kill me!

Think about it. Okay...

Even if we're partly responsible for her suicide, I just wanted her sister to know us better.

Who knew psycho bitch ran in the family?

Like Alyson, this tramp is out for our blood!

You lied to me?

No. No, I have nothing to do with any of this shit.

It has all been him!

I... I can prove it. The only reason we're still here is because we don't have our phones, right?

Well, if I was the killer...

If... if I was the killer, then would I have done this?

If you were the killer, yeah.

Who the fuck is that?

I don't understand.

The phones were supposed to be in there.

Phones?

You have our phones?

Dr. Knight. I know where Dr. Knight is.

Follow me!

This should be good.

In order for my plan to work, I had to get rid of Dr. Knight for a few hours.

Argh! Dammit, stop showing us this shit!

That's not right. Hell, no, that's not right!

That's hardcore.

Faith, he killed them too.

I don't know how he did it, but he did.

Convincing. It was not me.

Okay. Something weird is going on here.

You said so yourself that this school is cursed!

A curse? Really, Sioux, a curse?

That is so convincing. Shut up!

Whatever is in Blaine, he gets from this school.

And he won't stop. She's obviously deranged.

The roaches? The deaths?

Okay. It's his family! His whole fucking family is cursed!

I said shut the fuck up.

Blaine, stop!

I... I just told her to shut up.

He's going down, Faith.

And so is whoever stands next to him.

Wait.

It's all so clear now.

All white people are fucking crazy.

Fuck this honky shit!

Fuck you, Psychojawea.

And fuck you, needle dick.

Oh, Faith.

I'll find my own way out.

No, I don't think you will.

No!

Goddamn.

Bitches be crazy.

Where was I?

What was I saying? What was I saying?

Oh, oh, you'll like this. You'll like this.

You're taking all the blame.

See, you...

Were the girl trying to kill us, the real victims here.

You're the girl seen fighting with her sister the night she died.

Ooh, that's, mmm...

And you're partying on top of Nash's car like a fucking welder gone wild.

And you're the girl who hacked into Crestview and started killing people.

You started killing people?

Wh... Wha...

Seriously?

The school will love me. They'll love me.

And then the press will love me too.

And then my mother.

Then my mother will love me.

You're insane.

Really?

'Cause right now, I'm looking pretty good.

Are we there... Yet?

Welcome back, baby.

Just in time to say goodbye.

Goodbye.

I'll kill you.

Uh, no. No, I don't...

See, you only try to.

Here, I'll give you the liner notes.

Did you really think that you had enough money to pay the Naked Wizard to hack the school?

Come on.

Getting you into detention, and making you look crazy 'cause you look crazy, that sets the tone.

And then I paid my way into detention and I take care of my problems.

Don't tase me, bitch!

Ah! Oh, my god!

There...

There's no way you're that smart.

Whose car do you think this is?

Keep the change.

Sweet. A Benjamin.

Oh, shit, what do we have here?

Hello, mother. I'm still in detention, and I can't really talk right now.

Mrs. Wilkes...

Where... Did I get the phones?

Um, where you left them in the closet, dumb bitch.

That's a damn shame.

Faith!

Told you my hair was real.

No. Yes.

No... Yes. Yes!

Oh, what the... Son of a bitch!


Come on! Where you even going?

Fe, fi, fo, fum, bitch.

Marco...

Marco?

You're supposed to say Polo.

911. Hello?

Hi, this is Siouxsie Hess.

I go to Crestview Academy and...

Please hold. Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit.


We both know there's nothing good in the chemistry lab.

Hmm?

Oh, really? Whoa, what the...

Where the fuck did you get that?

Like I said, I know where all the good stuff is.

Oh, yeah? Bullshit.

Face it, preppie, you're gonna die in this school just like your sister did.

What are you talking about?

My sister was killed by a lowlife schizoid.

No, Alyson found out the truth.

She interviewed Max.

He told her everything.

So?

So? So?

Your mother paid him off.

She killed the story and your sister!

Dead men tell no tales.

Well, duh!

What d'you think we're doing here?

Are you stupid or something?

Am I stupid or something? No.

I'm a cockwalking genius!

You should get that.

Pick that up.

Pick...

Hello?

Hello, Siouxsie dear.

Senator Wilkes?

But how... Never mind that.

May I speak with my son, please?

He's a little busy right now. I understand that, but if you would like to survive the next few minutes, it's best you let me speak to him, dear.

It's your mom. Yeah, I know okay.

Hello, mother. I'm almost done with detention.

Listen carefully, son.

Mother.

Mother, I am going to make you so proud.


Blaine!

Yes, mother, where were we?

It's best you come home now, dear.

No, not yet. I'm almost done.

Mom, let me just...

Let me show you, let me just show you.

Here, I'll show you.

What is this? Mom, that...

That is literally the last of your problems.

Listen very carefully, son.

No, see, mom, this time, I'm proving to you you don't need your helpers to tie loose ends.

This time, it was me. See, these are pictures of...

Siouxsie Hess. I know who she is.

How? Because I framed her.

What? No.

No, you don't know this girl. This is a nothing under crust.

Blaine... No, see, mom, this time...

Mom, I've made it so this one looks utterly crazy.

Just like that scumbag who killed Tricia.

And this time...

In the story, I'm the hero who saves the day.

I'm the hero, mom.

I'm a genius!

Ugh, you and your sister were never very bright.

Fuck you, mother, it was me.

Your father's chromosomes really polluted the gene pool, as it were.

You decrepit old hag, it was me!

I'm the big winner here.

Old.

I've seen enough.

We're done here, dear.

Wait, what? What? Like...

Like with my project?

I mean like...

I'm cutting you loose.

Mom?

Mom?

Ah, shit.

Hey, Blaine, suck this, motherfucker!

You fucking whore!

We have a problem.

Problem?

Good. We all know you wanna work for me.

The question is whether or not you're willing to do wet work.

Wait, do we really... This isn't up for discussion.

Let me rephrase the question.

Do you wanna be very rich...

Or do you wanna die poor?

Right now.

I suggest plan B.


I'll take the white moron that killed my baby.

You take the Indian. I want a piece of that action.

Ooh, honey.


God's will.

Amen.


Pick up, pick up, pick up.

Pick up, pick up...

Pick up, pick up.

Yes, dear. Mom, mom!

I don't think you're seeing the big picture here.

Sweetheart, I see everything.

Blainy.

Oh, dear.

Oh.

My leg!

Ah! Mother...

Here, let me help you out with that.

Help. Help!

Oh, sweetie, there's really nothing to be done.

I'm afraid you and Miss Hess are completely surrounded, and have really taken everything a little too far.

Mo... mother. Mother?

Oh, Siouxsie dear, that won't work.

Blainy, you're not a genius.

Frankly, your work here has been sloppy and embarrassing.

But... But she... I'm a gen...

Honey, do you really think all of this just happened?

No loose ends?

Sweetie, you're more frayed than a Persian rug.

Do you really think I don't know about the sluts you brought to the penthouse and who exposed his cockiness all over town?

Keep the change. Sweet. A Benjamin.

Let's go buy glue!

Mother. Mother, I... Blaine!

Mother knows all.


I'm afraid this time, Blainy, my cleanup is going to include you.

No. Mother...

There were some flaws, I know, but my plan to make me a hero was so... Was so cool.

But you as a martyr is so much better, pumpkin.

Please, mom, no, mom. Please. Mother, please!

Please. I'm sor...

Quit your whining.

Honestly, Blaine, killing you is a favor to us both.

Ah!

Oh-oh.

I know what you're planning, Miss Hess.

And I know that you covered up your daughter's murder.

There's something...

You young people can't seem to wrap your brain around.

Your egos and the media have led you astray, lying that your experiences are special.

I would call them predictable.

Parents always know what their kids are going to do even before they do it. Ah...

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

No, you don't. Yes, I do.

Little girl, who do you think put you on the detention list this morning?

The only thing that boy could hack is his Johnson.

Taking care of business.

And let me be absolutely clear about what you control.

Nothing.

Zero.

Ziltcho.

And let me assure you, Siouxsie Hess, you will never leave this school alive.

Just watch me, bitch.

Don't leave me.

I wasn't planning on it.


Plan C.

Do you wanna know the difference between an amateur and a professional?

So long, bitch.

Welcome back, baby.

When I have my proof, they'll burn.

This will be safe yet fun for us all.

I know what you're planning, Miss Hess.

This thing just got a lot more interesting.

Who do you think put you on the detention list?

The world needs to know!

This shit is real. Spooky shit...

Who the fuck is that?

Psycho bitch ran in the family?

The roaches? The deaths?

Tell my mother you love me.

It's all so clear now. Yes.

No!

You look stressed.

I...


Hands up!

You know the drill.

She is not giving up.

Tell her she's not gonna do anything.

You are not going to do anything!

She is still not moving.

Say that she's going to turn herself in like the last one.

You are going to turn yourself in like the last one.

Nice...

And slow.

Go to hell.

For Chris sake, you know what I pay you for. Clean it up.

Open fire!


Ah!

Tell Senator Wilkes...

To suck my dick!


I mean, this is bad. This is worse than before.

I mean, this is excessive. It's absolutely awful.

For that girl to think she can kill all these innocent people and get away scot-free.

Frankly, Senator, I am sick of it. As am I.

Something has to be done. Absolutely.

Excuse me, can you wait just a moment, please?

Oh!

Oh, my baby!

Oh, my poor baby!

Got it?

Yes, ma'am.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Anyway.

Listen, we need to talk about how to fix this.

I'm talking permanently. Yes, we do.

I'm sorry, Senator. I don't think another, donation is gonna get rid of all of this.

Well you haven't seen how many zeros are in that check.

I'm talking excessive.

Excessive.

Where the fuck is Dr. Knight?


Hello, baby.

Oh, I've missed you so much.

Who the fu... Shhh...

They see everything.

Brought you something.

What the hell?

Gonna get you out of here.

We've got some shit to do.


Is he one of ours?

I don't think so. Good thing I got him.

I got him. I got him first.

No, I got him first. No, I got him first.

How many times we gonna do this?

A lot. And every single time, I'm gonna be the one who got him first.

Okay, whatever helps you sleep at night.

Yeah.