Barking Dogs Never Bite (2000) Script

No animals were harmed in the making of this film.

Distributed by Cinema Service. Ltd.

Una Films

What a fine day!

I'd like to go hiking and take a nap in the mountain.

Wake up, man.

Jun-pyo. What?

I don't think I'm cut out to be a professor.

Shut up.

Maybe it's God's will.

God my ass! It's the dean's will.

He's the one who calls the shots.

You're so pigheaded.

Kung-min took your place.

You asked for it, man.

Shame on you!

You there, Yoon-ju? Yeah, go ahead.

You have a dog or something?

Can you hear it, too? Sure.

God, it's driving me nuts. What a life!


You mongrel!


Do you like dried radishes?

What?

Yeah, I do.

Radishes should be dried in the sun.

The weather isn't helping.


BARKING DOGS NEVER BITE

Lee Sung-jae Bae Du-na Byun Hui-bong, Kim Ho-jung


You can take my seat.

Sit over here.

Written by Bong Joon-ho Photographed by Cho Yong-kyu

Lighting by Park Jong-h wan


Produced by Cha Seung-jae

Directed by Bong Joon-ho


No, 15 across. Yeah, 15 across.

It's 'Reciprocate'.

What? 'Reciprocal'?

You're such an idiot!

I don't think that's it.

Let me know if you run out of paper.

You mean 15 down?

You don't know what it means, do you?

Ida. How ignorant you are!

I know what reciprocal means. No, it's 'Reciprocate'.

I'm dying for a cigarette.

It's raining. I can't smoke on the roof.

Go smoke in the bathroom.

I'm not a kid. You're going to shit anyway.

You think I only eat and shit?

No way! I didn't eat breakfast.

This place makes me fatter.

Hello? Hyun-nam?

What a slut!

Stamp these, please.

Lost Dog If you don't get these stamped, janitors will take them off.

That's what I am here for.

By the way... how old are you?

I'm a 1st grader.

Shouldn't you be at school?

What for? My dog is missing.

I don't wanna study.

That's not good.

I'll post them around the neighborhood.

You go to school.

If I don't find him, I'll starve myself to death.


Oh, you're home.

I'm hungry-

Let me fix your dinner.

I don't want dinner.

This is what I want.

The people downstairs will hear.

Looks like a human brain.

I'm going out tonight.

Where?

There's a department meeting. Jun-pyo invited me.

Jun-pyo? Yeah.

You going drinking again?

No, I won't.

I mean it.

Crack them all.

All of them?

Jesus, there are over 100 of them.

50 at most.

No way!

Fill this up and you can go.


Hurry! The train's here!

Fuck, when are we going home?

Get over here! I'm getting on the train!

Wait for me at the next stop!

You peeing again?

Coke, please!

You see the news last night? Oh, yeah!

It was about the best husbands. You know what took 1st and 2nd?

Doctors and lawyers. And 48th on the list is...

Miners! That's right.

49th is farmers and 50th is...

What? Humanities grad students.

Are we the last on the list? What a shame!

Is it too red? This is our department shirt.

Not again! Another dishcloth!

It's not very pretty.

Do we have to pay for it? Yeah. 8 dollars.

Can I get one for free?

It includes drinks as well.

Let me pay for you. The color isn't very good.

Did you see Jun-pyo?

I didn't see him tonight.

Put it down!

Jun-pyo? Is that you, Yoon-ju?

Hello?

I'm kind of busy right now. I'll call you back.

Where have you been? I'm about to go home.

Thank God you're here. Get me some tissue.

Just a second.

Here.

Did you think about what I said?

Kung-min bribed the dean when he was studying in Germany.

That's why he's a professor.

I'm just not a good lobbyist.

You know that?

The other night he was...

This isn't very funny. I shouldn't be laughing.

He was drinking with the dean.

The dean drinks like a madman.

He gets smashed out of his gourd.

Kung-min doesn't drink.

But he got plastered that night.

Whiskey and all.

He goes to take the subway.

Projectile vomit, all over the tracks.

Gross!

You see the subway coming?

Even a Ph. D's head is no match for a train.

Ban-I!

Isn't it terrible?

That's awful!

He studied abroad and all. What a waste.

But that's good for you.

What?

His position is available.

If you play your cards right, it's yours.

You should go see the dean.

I should?

Get $10,000 ready.

$10,000? Hey, it's not much.

Prepare it. That's what it costs.

But it's too much.

This is your last shot. Don't let it go.

Let's go drinking.

Lost dog

Eun-sil!

Honey!

What a girl.

Tired? Then quit working.

Stay home and be a mom.

Stop working for peanuts.

$10,000?

You can't really call it a bribe.

Think of it as a necessary business expense.

Just an allowance for an old man.

What's wrong with that?

Your daddy will be a professor.

You hear me?

Shit!


Can't bark because of a throat operation


How is it?

I'm sorry, doggy.

Not here yet?


Leave a message at the beep.

Be here in 10 minutes or you're dead.


How's it going?

What are you doing down here?

It smells great.

You having a feast alone?

I didn't want to dirty the office.

What soup is this? It's nothing.

What are you doing here?

The other day some kids got caught smoking weed down here.

Is that right?

You didn't hear? No.

You know what's worse?

This residents' representative stormed into my office...

...and blamed it on our janitors.

The bulb must have blown out.

When it's done, we'll take it to the office.

You know what?

I keep hearing noises in this basement.

It must be the pipes.

You ever heard of Boiler Kim?

Boiler Kim?

Back in 1988, construction was booming.

Everything was built slapdash.

They built this apartment then.

After people moved in, we had problems with the heating.

So we had guys over to fix it.

But nobody knew what was wrong.

So we called up Boiler Kim.

He was a legendary figure in the business.

He came up all the way from Mokpo.

He took a look and started to chuckle.

Then he set to work.

10 minutes later, it was working like a top.

And he said, "It's spinning."

Spinning?

It's what they say down in Mokpo. It was his trademark.

After he fixed boilers, he said, "It's spinning" to people.

Everybody was delighted and wanted to drink with him.

Then he turned and yelled, "You bastards!"

Everybody was speechless.

And he asked, "How much did you steal?"

They used really cheap materials and embezzled the money.

Boiler Kim knew.

He fixed boilers with love and care.

So he knew they'd bought cheap materials.

Then a fight broke out.

I don't know who it was, but somebody pushed him back.

He fell backward... and hit his head on a nail in the wall.

He died on the spot.

Nobody knew what to do.

They decided to take the secret to their graves.

So they put his body in the wall and cemented it over.

It's the one way back there.

Over that wall, there's a boiler room.

His body lies there between the walls.

Here's what's even scarier.

Ever since, it makes a noise every night.

Every night?

No sound at all during the day, but it hums at night.

Like somebody crying?

No. Were you listening to me?

Like the way he used to talk "spinn-ing, -ing."

It's done. Let's get out of here.


'Boiler Kim'?


Hello...

I'm sorry to call this late. Is this 274-3373?

Yes it is.

Mind if I ask your name? What?

Your name? It's Park Hyun-nam.

This is right, then!

Sorry to call at this late hour. This is K BS TV.

What? I'm from 'This is Your Life. '

You went to elementary school with singer Yoo Seung-jun, right?

Who?

He's looking for his first love which is you, Miss. Park.

Yoo Seung-jun is looking for me?

We're behind schedule. Can you come to the station?

Right now?

Would that be possible?

What should I do? Grab a taxi. We'll pay for it.

Is a limousine taxi okay?

You bet. Just get yourself here quickly.

Okay. Move your ass, will you?

Wait a second... What?

Why are you being so rude, all of a sudden?

This is a crank call, idiot!

What did you do this time?

Go back to bed!

You're unbelievable. Shut up!

Hyun-nam, are you up? No, I am sleeping!

Who was it? Nobody...


Did you eat?

Jun-pyo told me that...

I didn't mean to be late!

Enter your pin-number please.

Your balance is 100 dollars.

Can I have your attention, please?

We're looking for a dog.

A white dog with a red necklace...

Dogs aren't allowed here, right?

Yeah, that's right.

But nobody follows the rule.

Nobody in this country follows the rules.

Yeah, ever since the liberation.

They must be all millionaires, raising those expensive dogs.

Right. Dogs eat better than I do.

Let's go, go...


Sweetie?

Sweetie?

Sweetie!

Excuse me!

Mi-jung!

Look at you! You look so funny in that.

I was jogging-

You live around here? No, I teach a kid.

I've got bills to pay, you know. I see.

What a cutie! I didn't know you liked dogs.

I love them, too.

I'm kind of... Have a cup of coffee with me.

It's on me.

But I was jogging-

You must have been busy lately. I know what you're up to.

I'm not busy. I heard you'll be a professor.

Congratulations! Hire me as your assistant.

That will be the day.

There's a cafe over there. Come on.

Now here is what was recorded on CCTV.

That's her.

Did you see that? She beat off a bank robber.

What a girl!

She's tough.

That must have hurt.

What nerves she has!

Look at that!

She got smacked by the knife's handle.

Lucky it's the handle. Wow! She's like Zena!

Why'd she bother? It's not her money.

How can you say that?

I'd have just given it to him. I mean, it's the bank's money.

But now she's famous.

Not everybody gets on TV.

Get a job at the bank and catch a robber.

The bank would never hire me.

Robbers never come here.

Boring, isn't it?

Let's go for a smoke.

I love smoking on the roof.

The smell doesn't get on my clothes.

Did you get caught? No.

But my aunt suspects it.

What? I can't see anything.

You only sell cheap toys.

The other way!

Oh, now it works! Watch it. Very expensive.

I can see trees on the mountain.

You want to go hiking? Sounds good.

And have a barbeque in the forest.

There's a guy on the roof.

What's that?

What's he doing? What?

It's a dog.

What's he doing?

Where? Can't you see that guy?

What's he doing?

What? That guy in red!

He must be crazy or something.

God!


Bitch!


You!


Where have you been? No mistakes, ok?

Stamp these, please.

Lost Dog

Granny, wait!

Just a minute!

What's that? It's my sweetie's lunch.

Hold on a second.

Is this your dog?

Why is he sleeping here?

Where are you going?

No!

What about $3000?

Really?

Your kid's at the hospital?

How'd he swallow a battery?!

That's terrible.

Insurance won't cover it?

The bill must be huge.

What is that?

We live in an apartment. We can't raise a dog!

Everyone else does. You told me yourself.

How could you afford it?

It's not expensive.

We don't have money to waste! I'm the one who's earning it.

What? Shut up and do these.


Sweetie, eat this.

Thanks for your help. I could never do it myself.

Good thing you called me.

You can go back to the office.

Thanks a lot. Yeah, go ahead.

Damn!


No!

Pets aren't good for pregnant women. They shed hair, and carry viruses...

If you keep them clean, it's ok.

So you clean up after her. Got it?

Why don't we give her to my dad? They have a yard and...

That again? I said no!

We forgot to buy strawberry milk.

She drinks it every night. Go get it for me.

You want me to go back to the store?

You want me to go?

I have to go back to the store for that mongrel?

It's 100 meters from here. Stop exaggerating.

It's not 100 meters. More like 50 meters.

Stop right there.

You think I'm nothing? You want to fight?

It's at least 100 meters. You want to bet on it?

Bet on it? Yeah, sure!

If it's over 100 meters, we're sending her to my dad's.

If it's less than 100? If not...

Respect me from now on. What?

I'm 2 years older than you.

You're on!

Watch.

This is 1 meter.

1,

2, 3, 4, 5...

You gonna go all the way back to the store?

Just get me the milk.

What, are you exercising?


100 meters.

He must be a bum or something.

He plays with the dogs cause he's got nothing else to do.

Don't get yourself drunk.

If I hadn't hit that door...

Thank God the door stopped you. Why?

He'd have beaten you up otherwise.

He looked really weak from behind.

If we'd gotten into a fist fight, I'd have knocked him out.

Then you'd have made the news.

Maintenance girl catches murderer red-handed.

Right?

I'd have gotten a reward from the mayor.

You must be out of your mind. Have you ever fought?

Have I?

First you grab a 9")!-

Then you trip him and get on top of him!

And grab him by the arms.

And break them.

Step aside.


Are you sleeping?

Honey?

Sig?

Be quiet! You woke Soon-ja up.

Soon-ja?

I just named her Soon-ja.

Soon-ja...

Scratch my back.

You know what?

Some professors got arrested for taking bribes.

Scratch it harder.

They used banks to wire money.

They should have used apple boxes. Nobody would have found out.

I thought I just needed to study hard to become a professor.

What'll the dean do with that money?

Go back to sleep.

If I ever become a professor, I'll never take money.

Turn off the light, will you?

Can you get arrested for giving bribes, too?

You don't have any money to give them.


Hello?

It's me. What's up?

Did you feed Soon-ja?

I haven't eaten myself, yet.

What are you yelling for? If you bother her, you're dead.

Okay, I won't!

Don't be such a couch potato. Walk the dog or something!


Lottery - $10,000


Soon-ja?

Soon-ja?


Soon-ja?

Soon-pg!


Did you eat?

Where's Soon-ja?

Didn't you take her out?

Well...

I lost her.

You did something with her, didn't you?

What do you mean?

Be honest with me. You dumped her, didn't you?

She just disappeared in the park. Don't lie to me!

I'm not lying! I looked everywhere for her.

Go find her!

She's disappeared! You fucker!

You know what she means to me?

You bitch!

Ki-jung became a professor. So did Ju-hyun.

Who do you think you are?

I'm desperate for pennies, and you bought that dog?

And eat walnuts all the time?

You idiot! You know what she is?

What? What is she?

I bought her with my retirement pay.

You think it's easy for pregnant women to keep a job?

11 years with the company, and all I get is $13,000.

Did I buy anything that I wanted?

I paid $300 for her!

And I was going to use the rest to make you a professor.

What was I thinking?


Can I make some copies?


To be honest, there were two others before you.

Dogs have been...

Hello?

The hospital?

How is granny?

What?

This morning?

No, I'm not related to her.

I just put my name there...

I don't know anyone from her family.

Have you seen Soon-ja?

So she lived alone with that dog? Yes.

I shouldn't have let her see the body.

Yeah, bright move.

I meant well for her.

Everybody dies sometime.

Hey!

You told me she was sick.

It's not your fault.

Whoever killed her dog, he is to blame.

Right. We need to find him.

The guy who threw it off the roof.

What a fucking asshole.

So you almost caught him?

I almost did.

Did you see... his face?

No. Only from behind.

I almost touched him in the back.

He's kind of tall. About your size.


How long have you been doing this?

Since last night.

All night long?

If I don't find Soon-ja today, I'm dead.

You must really love that dog.

I'm going to the dogs.

Oh, it's the office. Go ahead.

Sorry for leaving you. I'll help more later.

Cheer up. You'll find her.

Go.


How are you? Good.

What are you doing here?

Can I borrow that bucket? What for?

I'm washing my car.

But you don't have a car.

Let me borrow it. I said no, didn't I?

It's just a bucket! What's wrong with you?

Get your hands off me! Give it to me!

You messed up the bills. So there was a big problem.

And where do you go when you're on duty?

I never see you at the office unless I page you.

You don't even have a mobile phone.

You're not the only bookkeeper in the world.

There are thousands of girls who want your position.

Excuse me?

Who's Miss. Park Hyun-nam?

Granny told me about you before she died.

She asked me to give this to you.

'You can have my dried radishes on the roof, my dear'.


Hold it the other way around. Let me do it.

Hold it with its ass toward me.

Jesus, it's hairy.

Get ready...


anybody!

This isn't the first time you've done this. Where do you live?

Jang-mi!

UP here!


Is that your dog?

No.

Then we can eat it together.


That's what you were talking about.

Quiet! This is incredible!

That's him!

He was caught by a resident before he killed another dog.

He is said to have been seen around the complex.

As you can see, he was living here in the basement... but not even the janitors were aware of it.

He's a janitor for Building #4. Fix the antenna.

Who could possibly imagine anybody living down there?

It's an awkward situation for me.

The police requested a warrant for his arrest.

He's also under investigation for other crimes.

I can have pork for lunch, fish for dinner.

I like it in prison. When are you coming on?

Because he keeps changing his story in the interrogation...

...the police arranged a mental test for him tomorrow.

You said you'd be on? I did an interview.

You're a liar! No!

They must have edited you out.

WhY Only me?


My husband left me, I'm very sick, please help me...


Hyun-nam?

Let's get plastered today.

Come on!


Go buy some more beer!

" YOU " YOU No, you go!


What are you doing here? Get up!

My savior!

You're drunk, too? Just a little bit.

I should take all these down!

Just go home.

Read this. "Will be given a big reward."

I should reward you.

Or take you to a fancy restaurant.

Really? Sure!

Tomorrow I'll drop by the office.

I got fired.

He said I should be a street vendor cause I like being outside.

I was going to quit anyway.

I want to go hiking in the mountains.

Hyun-nam!

Huh?

I have something to confess.

What is it?

Look at me closely.

Look at me from behind. Don't I look familiar?

What?

Look at the back of my head.

Doesn't this remind you of anything?

Are you crazy? What are you doing?

Once we ran together like this.

Don't you remember?

What are you talking about?


Yes, it was me!

One of your shoes is missing.


It's all set, sir.

Today we'll look at some charts on modern behaviorism.

Close the curtains, please.


Cast Ko Yoon-ju: Lee Sung-jae

Park Hyun-nam: Bae Du-na

Bae Eun-sil: Kim Ho-jung

Janitor: Byun Hui-bong