B.C. Butcher (2016) Script

In the year one million BC, when great beasts still roamed the earth and survival was a daily struggle, before dolphins were exiled to the sea, before dinosaurs took to the skies, one tiny band of early humans fought to protect their way of life against the cruel, prehistoric monster known as the BC Butcher.

After all that we've done for you.

I'm sorry.



You violated the laws of our clan, Dina.

You were planning on anteloping with my man.

And you're sorry?

Of course you are now, now that you've been caught.

Don't you know Rex never would have left with you in the first place?

We are happily in love.

Oh, yeah?

Well, where is Rex now, Neandra?

Neandra, lay off it.

You know just as well as anyone here that Rex is two-timing you.

Don't pretend like you two are so happy.

Me warned you from the start, Neandra, dear.

Rex, him is a no good knuckle dragger.

I told you this would happen.

Shut, up, all of you!

Rex would never even look at this mammoth, so enough of that.

I know he loves me.

Well, since you're going to kill me anyways, I might as well tell you.

Tell me what, you filthy fossil licker?

I'm pregnant.

This is what you get, Dina!

You deserve this!

Oh, you had it coming!

Attention, everyone.

I would like to just take a moment and honor today.

There is great cause for celebration.

We discovered the truth about our dear, dear tribeswoman Dina.

She was a dust-brained, twig-snapping boulder.

So we got rid of her.

Leaving only us pure, faithful members.

We weeded out the bad, and now we are left only with the best.

I truly love you all.

So thank you for being the best tribe a cavewoman could ever ask for!

I'd also like to take a moment to remind you of our rules, since they have been recently violated.

Rule number one.. no one, I repeat, no one is allowed to talk to my man Rex.

Repeat after me!

No one is allowed to talk to Rex.

Rule number two.. straying from the group without permission is strictly forbidden.

Straying from the group without permission is absolutely forbidden.

And the last rule, the most important rule, rule number three.. always treat your leader, Neandra, with respect.

Always treat Neandra with respect.

Anaconda, get up and go alert the rest of them.

Let's get the meat.


One of you better tell me what happened to Dina.

Maybe we didn't kill her.

Neandra, what if she's not dead?

Maybe Rex came and took her away.

You know, tried to save her and all.

What if we made Rex angry?

Shut up, will you?

I've had enough of this Rex talk.

Don't be stupid.

You know just as well as I do that Rex likes to disappear from time to time.

But he would never run off with a dead body!

Me sense something real bad here, something evil.

You say everything's evil, you old witch.

An animal probably took her.

I mean, we did leave it out overnight.

What kind of anima could do that?

She was tied down!

Ana's right.

An animal took her.

You guys are all so superstitious that you dismiss the obvious.

Let's leave.

Is everything ok, Neandra?



There were these large footprints by where Dina's body should have been.

Did they look dangerous?

Yes, very.

I don't think this was any old animal that took Dina.

Not human prints.

They were like claws.

I think we have something big in our midst, like a saber-tooth.

I say we hunt it, kill it before it kills one of us.

We have to!

I'm glad you understand!

Go alert the rest of the tribe.

We're going to need as many people as possible!


It's dark out, and we saw this thing.

And I heard it.

And I heard it right behind us.

We turned around, and it was right there looking at me.

And I took my spear, and I just got it!

And I got it!

And then I strangled it!

I just strangled it!

And I bit its neck off!

It's true.

I saw her bite its neck off.

It was so awesome.

It was so awesome.

I wish you were there.

Oh, my God.

Thank you, Neandra.

You saved us all.

Oh, please.

It's the absolute least I could do for my tribe.

This thing was enormous, and I killed it.

And now we can sleep at night.

And now, we are fed for months!

For months!



Oh, Rex, I missed you so much.

Oh, my Poppy.

Oh, I missed you too, Poppy.

I did.

I brought you grapes.

I love grapes!

Seedless? Yes.

Mmm, my favorite.

Mmm, Poppy.

Hey, what's up with Neandra?

Does she want me dead yet?


She won't believe anything.

She still thinks that you two are so in love and that you're coming back for her.

It's not fair!

Neandra doesn't deserve that.

No, she doesn't.

Just out of curiosity, how are things with Anaconda?


Hmm, really?

Ho and Po?

They're good.

I was just curious.

Hey, do me a favor.

Tonight, meet me at the Rabbit Fighter Moo.

You and me will discuss our escape.

Oh, Rex, I can't wait.

Poppy, more of this later.

Do me a favor.

Do not look at my butt when I leave.

Don't look at my butt!


Don't look at my.. you're looking!

Quit it!

Stop it!

Don't look at my butt!

Ok, bye!


You see all this?

All this for me!

I saved everyone, Poppy!

I killed the beast!

You did, Neandra, and we're very grateful for it.

Well, you better be because I'm great!

I'm a great leader!

I'm great!

That's why I'm the obvious choice for Rex!

Rex loves me, not Dina.

Not that dead toad.

I am great, aren't I?

Of course, Neandra, of course.

Rex really believes that, right?

I'm sure he does, Neandra.

I'm sure of it.

Because it's the truth!

It's the truth!

I'm Neandra, and I'm great!

You are so great.

You are capital great.


I'd rather grate my cheese than grate you.

You're great.

Great, great, great.

Great Miss Kate.

Remember when I met you at cave school?

Oh, wow!

You made me dizzy!

I can't believe it!


It's so much fun being with you.

Remember when I got that saber-tooth for you?

And you said, I want to get some meat.

And I bought it for you?

Ooh, memories.

Mmm, God.

You're so sexy.

Remember when we were dancing at the club?


You're a good dancer.

Oh, I miss you.


You're the only one for me.


You are.

Oh, what are you wearing?

Mmm, I love dirt.


Oh, you smell like an elephant.

I love that smell!

Oh, mammoth!

Fire water!



They're mammoth.

They hurt me so bad.

It hurts so bad!

Help me! Help me!

Help me!

The pain they inflicted!

It was awful!

Neandra, Anaconda, Poppy, Bamba.. I want them dead!

Kill them.

Kill them all!

Kill them!

Kill them!

Kill them!

Kill them.

Kill them.

I want them dead.

Kill them!

Kill them!

Kill them!

Kill them!

These sticks are, like, the best sticks.

I want to make a torture device.

Where did you get these?

I killed it.

How dare you?

Wasn't it her pet?


Hey, everyone.

I'd like to tell you a story.

Everyone, shut up!

Ana wants to tell a scary story.


I'm going to tell you guys about the legend of the Butcher, the creature that stalks our land.

I don't believe this.

This is just a bunch of ooh, ooh, ooh.

Yeah I don't believe this.

I heard it's true.

Is this the one with the magical tears?

This isn't scary.

This is a bedtime story.

Ho and Po, be quiet.

I want to hear the story.

Well, as the legend goes, many years ago, people from this tribe began to go missing, all under mysterious circumstances.

One by one, they were snatched up just like that.





And every time someone went missing, these big animal-like prints were left behind, unlike anything anyone had ever seen before.

Hey, maybe that's what snatched up Dina.

Quite plausible.

What are you doing?

I killed the beast.

We just ate it tonight.

And in the legend of the creature, there wasn't anything about footprints.

There might have been.

How do you know?

I'm just playing, Neandra.

You killed the beast.

We all know it.

And thank you, too.

Sit down!



Kill them!

Oh, Rex!

Let's leave right now.

It's the perfect moment.

Neandra and everyone else, they're all sleep, and they will be for a while.

And I just cannot send longer..

Poppy, ok, my flower, your two lips.

But first, I have a little surprise.

Blankie, spankie.

Me hunt mammoth for you, Poppy.

Oh, Rex, I love you.

Yes, I know.

Oh, Rex.

I love you.

I know.


Anaconda, dear!

Mmm, Rolling Stones.

Wake up.

Something is wrong!


Me heard a scream!

Bad things are happening!

I can feel it.

Bad, bad, things.

Oh, Mick Jagger.

Something very bad.

Where's Poppy?

Where's Poppy?

She's here every morning.

Where is she?

I don't know, guys.

Who cares?

I bet she ran off with Rex.

I haven't seen Poppy since the moon was over to the left.

Ok, so here's what I think happened.

Here's Rex.


And here's Poppy.

This is Poppy?

And I think the two of them ran away together.



Me tried to warn you last night.

Me tried to warn all of you.

But no, none of you listen.

And now, Poppy is gone!


So young, so full of life.

And now she gone!


Mamba, don't get so worked up about it.

We'll go and look for her, and you can come, too.

Poppy was just a child.

She'd never go anywhere without telling someone.

She'd announce it to the whole tribe.

That's not the Poppy I knew.


Oh, nothing, nothing.

Ana, where could the girl be?

Why don't we leave and look for her right now?

As soon as we find her, you'll see there's absolutely nothing to worry about.








That way.

Ok. Why not?

Let's go..


I think I found something!

Bamba, stay right here.

I'll be right back.

Something awful.

You thought you found Poppy, Neandra?

You thought a little lizard was Poppy.

It wasn't a lizard!

It was a Raptorex.

So quit it!

Have you've forgotten what Poppy looked like?

I only said I heard something.

And looks, not looked.

She's not dead, just missing.


I thought I told you to stay here!


There you are, Bamba!

We didn't find anything, just a little lizard.

Neandra thought she heard Poppy.

What is it?


Must have been a lizard!

She'll be back.

And when she is back, well, I'll sure be mad at her, making us worry like this.

Poor little girl.



Why do you just sit there like that?

You're not thinking about Poppy?

You're not worried where she is?

Oh, I'm thinking.. thinking about where Poppy might be.

I have my own little theory, Neandra.

And I wasn't going to offer it because I didn't want to offend you.

But now, since you're so interested in my thoughts on Poppy's where abouts, I might as well just tell you.

Go on.

Tell me.

I want to hear this theory.


That's my theory.


That's not even a theory.

Nobody here understands your crazy theories, Anaconda.

I think it's pretty easy to comprehend.

First Dina gets killed, so then Rex runs away with Poppy, innocent Poppy, because he would do anything to get out of your controlling grasp.

And don't tell me the thought didn't run through your head.

Stop it, dinosaur head!

Something monstrous.

I am the leader!

I saved the tribe!

I killed the beast!

Listen to me!

Listen to me!

Listen to me!

I know I keep saying that Poppy ran off with Neandra's man.

But what it that's not the truth?

What if she's dead?

It's likely, Ana.

I'm so worried about Poppy.

Don't mention that troglodyte's name again!

She decided to leave us, and she did.

There's no point in dwelling on it.


Poppy didn't leave.

She was taken.

We are being hunted.

Can't you see?

I killed the beast!

I saved our tribe!

And you are our leader.

And I.. yes.

You know, I think we need something to take our mind off all this.

What do you say we go gathering, huh?



Neandra, I am sure Rex is coming back.

I'm sorry for all I said earlier.

Yeah, he's probably planning on surprising me with something.

I'm sure he is.



Where are you?


Ana, where are you?

No need to worry.

Ana won't forget me for too long.

Maybe we'll just sit here and wait.

All done.

The Butcher!

Oh, we left Bamba behind!

I'll get her.

You go back and take these rocks.

Tell the old witch I'm sorry.



Maybe we shouldn't take a blind person..


I saved everyone!

You just wanted to prove a point, didn't you?

You cro-mag, Bamba!

Why did you do this to me?

Silly, caveman, you don't say much.

I don't.

Where's Bamba?

I couldn't find her.

But she's all right.

We all know how crazy Bamba gets during mating season.

True, true.

Me know!

How about we have our evening theater tonight?


Thank you for all you've done.

I love you.

Two down, two to go.

We're halfway there.

Ho and Po, that was a beautiful duck dance.

Ana, Ana, Ana, Ana, Ana.

Ok, ok.

I've been waiting two moons for my turn in the evening theater.

And what I'd like to do is have all of you participate with me in a game of charades.


Two leg.




No, stupid!


Could be.


Oh, good job, ugly kids.




How about we move on to something else, hmm?


How about some music?


I'm Rodney on the rock, and I'm here to introduce to you and my friend, Duck Duck, a band that I'm not too sure of.

But give them a chance.

They're called the Ugly Kids.

You know, charades was a good idea, Ana.

Thanks, Neandra.

But, you know, the Ugly Kids were really rad.

Rodney and Duck Duck seemed a little unsure about them.

But I think they rocked.

You know, it's so silly, us fighting.

And over what?

People have just been worried, with Dina's body going missing and then Poppy.

It's all just a coincidence, them disappearing at the same time.

Well, Ana, I'm no longer sure of that.

There's something I need to tell you, Anaconda.

Oh, and I really want to hear that.

But can you hold that thought?

I really have to use the little cavegirl's room.

I'll be right back.

Hey, Ana?

Be careful.

Ok, yeah.

Rex, is that you?

Have you seen Anaconda?

I haven't seen her since the moon lied at level with the Cherimoya Trees.


Me no see Ana.


The Butcher!





Kill Neandra!

That's it!

First Dina's body, then Poppy, then Bamba.

And I knew, I knew then!

I knew something was wrong!

Now Ana.

Ana could be gone, gone for good.

Could I have stopped this?

Saved her life?

Bigger beast?

Bigger than the one I killed?

It can't..



You and Poppy?

I got you something.

A poppy.




Anaconda, where are you?


The tribe.

The noises don't sound human.

Not like an animal, either.

I bet it was you.

You're the one who's responsible for all this.

You snake!

You filthy snake!

It was you who killed Ana, didn't you?

Whatever you are, you're the one we've been looking for, and you're going to die tonight!

The legend, it's true!

You're what has been killing everyone!

A monster like you?


I just thought you'd be, well, scarier.

I saved my tribe!

Neandra, savior, leader of them all!