Best F(r)iends: Volume 1 (2017) Script











Are you going to stand out there, like a Statue of Liberty?

Come on, I need your help. I need a hand.




Not too close, okay? He may bite you.

Welcome to my paradise, huh?

Yes, oh, your... [CHUCKLES]

I'm so sorry about your family.

I cannot help you with ninjas or karate.

But guess what? You know what?

I can give you a job. Come on, help me with this.

Come on.

Slowly, slowly, slowly. Slowly!



Don't worry, ninja man, you are safe here.

You will now meet my friend, Mr. Lester Green, a victim of robbery in a grocery store.

He took bullet for his wife. He saved his wife.

And I have to give him beautiful face.

I cannot send him to paradise as a monster. No!

I have to change this. I have to give him beautiful face.

Yeah, I will do that.

The face of Cary Grant or James Dean.

That's what he needs.

What do you think? Hmm?

Yes? Mm-hmm.

Don't be scared, ninja man.

I need your help. Pass me the-the middle one.

Yes. Come on.

Come on.


Pass me this little dish there. Come on.

Yes. Right here.


Please put this back.

We love you, Mr. Lester.

When you arrive in paradise, please send us a little message.

A little message. [TEETH RATTLING]

You like the gold?

Yeah, it's beautiful, is it? It's real, pure gold.

I collect all these human pieces.

And then, guess what? Every six months, company show up, pick up, and-and it's a tragedy, because they throw away.

But guess what? I have a little secret.

Yeah, I do.

I have some stashed too as well, so...

Yeah. But anyway, put this away. Come on.

We have to go back to work. Come on.



Close your eyes.

It doesn't work when you don't close your eyes.


Mind, body, spirit.

I give you face of Jesus, King of Man.


What do you think about that?

Looks good, huh? Here you go. Wow.

Look. I see you every day on the bridge, and with big sign, and then I-I...

You know, to be honest with you, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for you. It makes me so sad, you know?

Guess what? I give you work today.

What about a little work tonight?

I pay you, and you have a little money for a little cocoa or something hot.

Yes? Okay, I know you're mute.

It's okay, don't worry about it.

We have to move three more bodies, okay?

The next one is very brutal.

Oh, man! Somebody push him from tree.

He's a... he's a midget, tiny little thing.

We have to do something special for him for funeral, okay?

He can be Marlon Brando or Tupac Shakur.

Or something different. We'll see. Okay?

See, I have to create something here. Yes?

I know tomorrow you'll be talking.

I know that already.



Hey. You have bloody t-shirt. Take this one.

I brought you also a beanie and jacket. Here you go.

Clean up yourself, you look like homeless person.

Come on.

Let me give you pay here.

You earn it. Here.

Do you need a ride home?

Do you have a place to stay?

How is your family? Huh?

Okay, have a nice one.


♪ I've made a few mistakes ♪

♪ This year ♪

♪ Meet me, please ♪

♪ Where the lights are bright ♪

♪ I'll make things right ♪

♪ I've been bad ♪

♪ I've got a good excuse ♪

♪ I don't think ♪

♪ You think of me at all ♪

♪ But Christmas I'll be there ♪

♪ I've been bad ♪

♪ I've got a good excuse ♪

♪ Meet me there ♪

♪ Underneath the tree ♪

♪ We'll find our memories there ♪


♪ We'll find our memories there. ♪

Gold? I heard it's going up.

I sold mine! [LAUGHS]





Hello... hello.

He-he-hello. Hi.

Hey, hey, it's me from the... from the other night.

I... I forgot...

I forgot my-my bag. Um...

My black... my little bag. It's a black thing. And, uh... and then maybe I can...

Can I... I can... can I help you? I...

Can you help... Can you give me a job?

I'm not dangerous. I-I'm just... I...

I'm just hopeless at this-at this time.

If you just let me help you, I'll work for an hour. I'll work for free.

And if you don't like what I do, I'll get the hell out and I'll fucking split.

But if you do like it, maybe you can give me a little job.

Like you say, right?

Oh, Marisa... It's all in the past.

We got this.




You cannot break me. You cannot break me. Okay?

Who are you?! It's me, from the other night.

From the other night. The... the... Remember?

Ninja. Ninja man. Yeah. Yeah.

You can talk. You can talk.

So where is your beard? What happened to your beard?

You don't have it. You shave it. You look better.

So what brings you here to my office? Well, I forgot my-my bag.

What color? It's black. Small bag.

Black? Are you sure it's black? Yeah, it's black.

Yeah, it's black.

You know what? Maybe it was this one?

No, that's not it. No. No.


Is this it? Yeah.

Here you go.

[STAMMERING] Um, I-I-I need help.

What kind of help? Can you help me? Can I work for you?

What kind of qualification skills do you have?

Well, I do... Communication, I meant.

I worked as a janitor. I can... I can clean. You know?

I can stack stuff for you. Everybody can clean.

I see these coffins. I don't think so.

No, I can help you. I don't think so.

I can bring the trash out. You know what? I give you advice.

Go back to school. I don't... I don't need school.

School is not what I'm looking for. I need a job. I need help.

Let me help you. I'll work for free.

You help me or you want me to help you?

I can help you clean. I can help you organize your office.

So you need my help? I need a job.

Yes or no? I need a job.

Do you need my help, yes or no? Yes. I need a job.

So why you hesitate? I need your help.

Just give me an hour and I'll work for free.

Okay, follow me.





Ninja man?

Come on, where are you?

Hey! Ninja man!


[MUFFLED] I made it last night. Just for fun.

Can I have it?


Sure you can have it.

[CHUCKLES] It's you!

Here you go.

You are a guest here. You have special access.

You can have it, it's a gift for you.

I can't believe it, this is... you're an incredible artist.

But you know, I'm sad tonight.

Mr. Lee is gone to paradise.

You know what we should do? We should have Chinese food in his honor.


He was very kind, kind, you know, Chinese man, Can you imagine?

Chinese usually are very selfish, you know?

But who cares? He was special.

Very special guy. Very special Chinese person.

Let's have Chinese food.


[HARVEY] ♪ Cheers to Mr. Lee ♪

♪ And my new friend, Ninja Man ♪

♪ Ninja Man ♪

♪ Cheers to Mr. Lee ♪ Cheers, hey!

Cheers. Yeah. Yeah, Mr. Lee.

Yeah. Sorry.


So tell me, what-what- what is your real name?

Is it big secret or something?

You cannot tell me? Oh, Jon.

Jon! Jon is my real name.

Jon! [LAUGHS] This is ordinary name.

Pretty nice. Pretty nice.

What are you... You're a doctor?

No, I hate doctors. I'm a specialist.

I help people. My goal is to make people happy, especially when they die.

I give them new faces. I'm still in business.

Who is this woman? She's beautiful.

Long, long time ago, they find her in the park.

Two different pieces. And... it was a tragedy.

She used to want to be a big star.

She won a beauty pageant.

They never find the killer.

Elizabeth was a big tragedy.

You know what? I want to cry.

Each time I think about it, I want to cry about it.

Where did this happen?

It was a tragedy in Los Angeles.

- Why are you asking this question? [SIGHS]

It was a long time ago. So is this...

Is this what inspired all this? The face masks?

No, no, not at all. I inspire myself.


I make people happy. That's my goal in life.

You know, corporate try to close me down, but people understand that I do something good here.

So, hey, Jon, what's your real job?

I mean, look at you. I see always your bag. Is your bag there?

Oh, yeah, it's right there, next to you.

Are you working in a parking lot? Or selling drugs?

Or maybe a little prostitution on the street, huh? Mm?

What do you do? Oh, I'm... I'm kinda new in town.

Just feeling it out. Oh, you are a drifter?

Wow! A drifter? Yeah, well...

In and out. In and out, huh?

Yeah, well, I worked in the Army.

Well, how was it? Army? I don't know.

I was hoping to find some direction, and make friends, but it didn't work out. And what happened?

It just didn't work out.

So what do you want to be? Hm?

♪ What do you want to be, Jon? ♪ Mm? Um, I... I...

I guess I hope to be me.

♪♪ I see your eyes. Your eyes so sad, Jon.

What do you worry about?

We have Chinese food. We celebrate. We live.

Why don't you live, Jon?! Live!

♪ Live, live, live, live! ♪

I'm not pushing you, but you can stay here if you like. You know?

[STAMMERS] I... um... Oh, do you...

I know some people on the east side. I have a place.

[STAMMERING] Do you... Do you need a ride or something?

I'm-I'm okay.






[WOMAN] Jon?



Dr. Surtain.

You look pretty banged up.

What can I help you with?


[HARVEY] Can you lift harder?

I mean, all my weight is right here, not there.

Just go straight. Straight, straight, straight.

Watch what you are doing. What are you...?

[COFFIN THUDS] Shit, damn it!

Sammy Jr., I'm so sorry!

Baby, I'm sorry! I'm sorry.

What did you do to him?

[TRAIN CROSSING BELL RINGING] Now he cannot sleep.

Just get your side. Get the other side.

Don't talk to me like that, man. Hold on, just balance it.


Up... Up!


Go straight. Straight.


Oh! I cannot do this anymore.

Ah, man.

Come on.

Do you have a girl or something?

Nah, I'm just... just doing my own thing.

But how about you? Do you have a family?


Not at this time.

You know... loneliness is hard sometimes, but it's easier than losing someone.

Do you understand?

You know, I was thinking... maybe we could hang out sometime.

You know, outside of this place.

Right? Like friends.

Well, I have news for you.[CHUCKLES]

Once a year, I go to Vegas.

Open road.

Golden Nugget.

Forget the world, man. Have groovy time.

Spend some moolah. You want to go? Yeah, yeah, yeah!

When are you thinking? Um... tonight!

Tonight? Yeah!

All right, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it, man.

How are we going to get there? By car, what do you think?

All right. You don't have to pay for anything.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah. Let's go. I'm ready. Okay, let's go.






[JON] Oh, I love the book Of Mice and Men.

Have you read that book?

Yeah, friendship. Yeah?

I always... I don't know, I always saw myself in Lenny and George, you know, these two people just... wanting to live off the fat of the land and have a place to call home.


The feeling is friendship, huh? Mm. Yeah.

You know, this is the... this is the first time I've felt alive in a long time, and... you know, I almost forgot what it felt like.

It's all thanks to you. Mm.

Guess what?

Do you want to be my partner? Business partner?

What? Business partner? Yeah, business partner.

I can give you keys and you can go in and out.

I-I would love that.

Mm. Yeah.

Yes? Give me five. Yeah! Yeah.


Do it again. Yeah. [GROANS]

You're a little clumsy today. Yeah. Oh, it's cold.

[HARVEY] Oh. It's cold.

Look at the stars. Being out here just reminds me of my mom, you know, before... before she died. She would... She died?!

- When? Oh, years ago.

Well, you say like it's recent.

- No, it was years ago, but... Sorry about that.


Yeah, just when I look up, I think about, like, she would take me... she'd take me to the Observatory, and... I don't know...

Like, she would always want to get me involved in nature.



I promised her that I wouldn't end up like my father. Promise what?

She wanted me to finish college, and I... I totally dropped the ball.

- Yeah. I haven't made good on anything, and... you know, my dad, he was a bum, you know? And he... he lost our house and he disappeared.

And I've just been... I've just been bouncing around ever since.

Hey, don't wo... Listen.

Don't worry about it. She's up there, look!

In the sky!

♪ Hello! Hello! ♪

♪ Your son is here ♪

♪ Hello! Hello! ♪ She's very proud of you. She's out there. You see?

She's very proud of you, Jon.

Very proud of you.

Hello? Your son is right here, yes. You see?

You don't want to say hey? Hello. Hi, hi, hi.

She's proud of you, yes.

She's proud of you.

You think? Yes.

How would you know? I can feel.



Are we ready to go?

[JON] Yeah, I think I'm finally ready to go back.

"Harvey, I want to tell you about something that I did.

The week before Vegas, I stole two bags of gold teeth from your storage room and I sold them for money.

I feel awful about it and I didn't know how to tell you."


"But the good news is, I think I found something, something that can help both of us and I want to bring you in on it."

"Your friend, Jon."


So, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but we are closing up.

Where are you from?

Arizona. You?

Um, complicated question, but I'd go with, uh, Central-Central Cali.

Complicated. What's your name?

Uh... Jon.

Jon. Traci.

Nice to... nice to meet you. Likewise.

So what are you doing in L.A.?

Um, I'm kind of in the... in the gold business.

"The gold business." Okay, that's a new one.

[LAUGHS] I never heard that before.

It's kind of going well.

Good. Yeah. Um...

Keep it.

Well... my shift's up, so if you want to tell me that long story, I got time.

Do you want to take a walk? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure. Yeah.


Well, thanks for walking me home.

It was fun. I had a nice time.

You're interesting.

You want to get coffee? Right now?

No, it's midnight! I meant another time.

I'd love that, yeah.



Good night. Night.


Jon, is everything okay?


Well, you didn't show up last night.

Yeah, I was out late.

Yeah, but the office was not ready.

And this morning... I had to clean up today.

Sorry, I... I just... met a girl.

A girl?

Um, she's... yeah, she's awesome.

Do you see the stars? Mm? Yeah.

I'm happy for you.

But look. I rely on you.

Okay? You have to show up for work here, you know?

I cannot do your work.

It's not right, is it? Huh?

I apologize, it won't... it won't happen again.

Well, we have new orders.

A clown family. I need your assistance right here.

So the guy kill himself. Okay?

And by the way, they request that you don't touch anything.

Just let it go until-until funeral, okay?

You understand? Don't touch anything.

[SIGHS] Poor guy.

If you look at the X-ray... look it.

You see the candle? Mm-hmm.

He swallowed candle. He kill himself. How sad.

And the second candle, put in his ass. What about that?

[JON] What? Oh, man! Yeah!

[HARVEY] This entire family so weird.

Clown family? Wow! Clown family?

[JON] All of them clowns? Yeah, they're weird like hell.

You know, we should celebrate. Like, eat, uh, cake, Okay. like, uh... sorbet, or...

I'm going to finish cleaning the coffins, and then let's do something for clown man tomorrow night.

Okay, clown man tomorrow night.

But guess what? I have something for you.

Keys for entire place. Oh. Thank you!

Okay, go to work!


[TRACI] College was good, I mean...

Something was just kind of missing, so...

I originally wanted to be in Colorado, but I ended up here.

What's in Colorado?

Colorado? What's not in Colorado? Are you kidding me?

They have the most majestic mountains you'll ever see.

Freshest air you'll ever breathe.

The waterfalls are incredible.

[CHUCKLES] And, like, the whitest Christmases.

Oh, my gosh!

Have you ever had a white Christmas?

Well, no. I never have.




Andrei, hey, this is Jon.

Dr. Surtain gave me your number.

Yeah, I sold him some dental scrap and he thought you might be interested in, uh, in what I have.

I have... I have tons. I have bags... bags of, uh, bags of stuff. A whole storage unit full.

Well, my partner, uh, he runs a morgue, so...

Yeah, um... Yeah, I can do tonight.

It's over, uh, it's over on the east side.

It's, uh, 6200 Valley Boulevard.

Yeah. How much?

Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.

I'll be there. All right, I'll see you... see you a little bit later.


Yeah, no problem, thank you.

You can profit from it too, so I didn't really steal from you.

Uh... Oh, just say the truth. [MUMBLES]

Um, you know, I think...

I think this could be something that could help both of us, you know?

Hey, Harvey, I want to tell you something.

[SIGHS] This fucking sounds...

Harvey, yeah, I want to tell you something.

Yeah, the week before Vegas, um, you know, I kind of... I kind of took something from you.

Uh, yeah, I was going through your-your storage and I fell down, and I saw these...

Just be honest. Just tell him the truth.



Jon, I give you keys so you can work like a partner, right?

What are you doing here? You look like a homeless person.

Read this.

You became writer now? It'll explain everything.

♪♪ Is this real?

I was desperate and I... I made a mistake.

Jon, you steal from me. You steal from my friends.

You sell body parts on the black market.

Why you doing this? Why? Come on.

Come on. It's not like that.

I found something, all right? It's a legit industry. This thing...

It can help us. Legit, not legit.

You know, I want you to just leave now. Give me the keys back.

Okay? I don't want to work with you.

Come on, I-I have nowhere to go.

Whose problem is it? It's my problem?

This can really help you.

All right? You have a ton of dental scrap sitting in your storage.

And it's just collecting dust.


I've been wanting to tell you since we got back from Vegas, and I... I haven't had a chance.

You met the girl. That's okay with me.

Okay? But look at yourself now.

You look like a zombie. Your eyes pop out.

Okay? Mark my words.

It will not end up well for you, okay?



It doesn't look real, anyhow, you know, for your information.

But what to do with you? You tell me.

I have a contact, all right? His name is Andrei.

Now you invite criminals to my office.

No, he's not a criminal. He runs the refinery. All right?

He wants to come here and he wants to look at your scrap.

And if he likes it, he'll buy everything and give you maybe a lot of cash.

How much?

I don't know until he comes here and looks at it.

Today is not my day.

You can make money off of this. You can benefit.

All right? Just, please. All I'm asking you... just give it an hour. Let him come here.

Oh, Jon.

You know what? All right, all right, all right.

We will have, uh, meeting, okay? We see what happens.

But Jon, when you end up in jail, I will not rescue you, okay?

The only thing what I can do, I can send you few oranges.

Tu comprends la vie?

You got that? I got it.

Here. Keep it. Thank you. Sorry.



Who are you?

Who are you? Are you Jon?

No, I'm not Jon.

Wait a minute. Before you enter into my paradise, I have to... I have to check for little stuff.

Okay? Okay.

Okay, let me see what you have...

Do you have a gun or something on you?

No. Okay. What is in the bag?

Okay, green stuff. Great. Uh-huh.

Okay, we talk about this later.

Ladies, I'm sorry, but I have to check you too, okay?

Does it look like I can hide a gun in this dress?

Look, you look innocent, you look very innocent, but you may hide a gun or something in your ass.

You never know. You never know. [SCOFFS] What?

Who is this guy? Okay, okay. You okay. Okay.

How are you? Are you serious? Me too?

Yeah, hold on a minute. [ANDREI] Sorry.

Is this some type of joke? Yeah, you okay.

You guys go forward.

♪♪ Welcome to my paradise. After you, please.

You Jon, the guy I spoke to on the phone? Yeah.

Nice meeting you. Nice to meet you.

So how do you know Surtain and the boys?

We sold them some stuff and they really liked it.

Phone? Since when did you get a phone?

You never told me. Are you lying to me, man?

This is some place... Why you do that?

I'm sorry... Very sorry to interrupt. Huh?

Oh, no problem.

I was gonna say, this is some place you guys got here.

Can we look around? Yeah, please do.

You told me one person will show up, then three people show up that we don't know.

Why you lie to me?

Look, he's got a bag of money.

You invite strangers to this facility, you cannot do that. I just invited him.

Oh, my God.

So what? So what? He's got the money.

I didn't know three people were gonna show up. Look...

You lied to me, and what next?

You know? [JON] He's a pro, he's one of the best in the business.

How do you know this? Because that's what the guys told me.

You're so naive, I'm sorry to tell you.

You have to learn. You have to learn.

Go up to him. Before you buy a new phone, you have to learn about life.

Because you don't know. [JON] Okay.

They're gonna abuse you, use you. I'm not focused on the girls, I...

Yes, you are, you look at her like stupid.

Just focus on his bag of money. [GIRLS SQUEAL]

[HARVEY] What money? He maybe don't have...

I invited him because he has money, I didn't know he would bring two girls.

Come on, just pick it up. I can't.

You can do it. Come on.

Look at what she's doing.

When are we ever in a place like this?

I don't want to be in a place like this!

Do it! Oh, my God.

What are you doing? Look at what she's doing.

It kind of looks like my dad. What do you mean, who cares?

Hey, bitch, what are you doing?

Stop! Stop, what are you doing?

Don't touch my stuff, okay?

Hey! Excuse me, don't touch me. What are you doing?

[ANDREI] Not cool with you touching my girl.


Any more shit out of you two, I'm gonna punch you both in your livers, okay?

[HARVEY] Huh. Who the fuck is this goblin?


Goblin doesn't like corporate crooks in his house, okay?

Jon, he works for corporate. Yeah, you're a spy.

[SCOFFS] You work for them, right?

[JON] No, he... You try to come here to test me, I bet you. That's what you're gonna do. Harvey, he's not a spy.

He just wants the gold teeth.

What the fuck are you on? I am on anything.

Nothing. What do you mean "on"?

Drugs. I don't know. I mean...

You come here to my office and start fight, right?

It's a blackmail, man.

I'm getting real tired looking at this dude's face, so we doing this or not? I got reservations at Ago.

Actually we want to go to Nobu. In Malibu.




You happy? Whoa.

You mind if I use your counter over there?


How the hell did you get 210 ounces of gold teeth here?

Hard work.

You got any more bags of this stuff?

Yes, we do.


All these boxes are full of scrap?

What are you, D.B. Cooper or something?

[HARVEY] I work in Chinatown for many decades before I start my business.

Normally morgues throw away teeth, but I collect as souvenir.

I have all these boxes.

What about that? [LAUGHS]


You know what we're gonna do? What?

I think that we can agree that I'll use this as a down payment for all the rest of this shit.

Agree nothing. How much is in it?

$125,000. Wait a minute, I have to check, okay?

Go right ahead. I don't trust you.


Looks like the real thing. Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, it is.

Okay, cool.


You give me a couple months, I can sell all this scrap for you.

All right? With the quality you got here, I am going to make us a ton of money. A ton.

But I get half of what we sell, and I would ask that you don't tell any of the other refineries about what your stash here.

Look, there will be always competition in business, my friend.

And you don't know that?

And you are not the only salesperson in the entire world.

You think you own the world? Huh?

But anyway, you know what?

I suspect you are a spy, corporate spy.

Let's just start it tonight, like little arrangement here, and we'll see what happen, where it goes.


Can we do that?

Jon, I don't know where you dug this guy up, but let's just make sure this is profitable for you and I, okay?

Hey, dude, I'm here. Why you even talk to him?

He's not in charge. I am in charge.

Okay? I'm watching you!


[LATCHES CLOSE] I have to go now.

I'm tired. Come on, let's go. Let's go.

Come on, watch your head.


Well, I did not expect this.

I give you a little credit. I told you.

I wouldn't have brought you into this if it wasn't legit.

Yeah, but I need my keys back anyhow.

I need the keys, come on.

I'm just going to take a little bit of money, we'll figure out...

No, you cannot take this money. We have...

First of all, was it a test? Maybe it was the FBI, or this guy maybe was undercover, guy from the cremation foundation, okay?

You cannot just take it. That doesn't make any sense.

I need a place to live.

Traci's already asking me what I'm doing.

I don't have money, I have nothing.

Traci will love you without money, that will be great test for you guys.

Okay, help me with this, come on. Well...

Let me tell you, I take good care of this, okay?

You cannot spend it.

Okay? So help me with this, come on. Where are we gonna...

Hold this bag. Where are we gonna hide it?

In my place. I know where we hide it.

Very special place. [ZIPPER CLOSES]

Help me. Come on, let's go.

Okay, we are here. [BAG THUDS]

Hold it.

Okay, open it.

Follow me.

Okay, hold this. Yeah.

This is great place to store money, you don't think?

Hey, dude, nobody will expect it.

Where the hell did you get an ATM machine?

I have resources, okay?

This is antique, this is collector's item.

Beautiful, huh?

Okay, now listen, we cannot do business right here. Attend business.

You know why? Why?

Because this is our club. That's why, okay?

And nobody comes here except us. Okay.

No-no spending, okay? Yeah.

Trust me, friendship before money.

Understand? Can you say this?

Yeah. What?

Trust me, friendship before money. Yeah. Right!




Startling... because they seem new, sudden.

But most are not new to the signs of the ages.

♪♪ Wow, what an ending. You know, I never thought I would enjoy watching these black and white movies so much.

See? I told you you'd like it.

It's my favorite thing to do on my days off, watch black and white movies.


And I don't know who came up with these plots, but it's as if the last 10 minutes are all about trusting no one.


How about we have a date night at your place?

We can order a big thing of pizza, some wine, and Double Indemnity? Yeah, yeah.

Sounds-sounds perfect. Yeah?

My-my place won't be ready for a few weeks, though, so...

What, you got a condo in the Palisades or something?

Uh... working on it.

Well, you're more than welcome to stay here until then.

Yeah? Cool, yeah.


[DOOR SQUEAKS] All right, boys, all right.

[HARVEY] Hey. How we doin'? How you doin'?

Okay, this map right here details all the drop points.

Okay? All the deals go down after 8:00, you're gonna tally all your deals in this.

No problem, I'm good organizer.

[ANDREI] Excellent.

Tomorrow night, your first drop is gonna be the San Marino location.

I want you to wait for a guy named Twigs.

He's like... he's a funny looking dude in a hat, okay?

Who? Twigs.

Jon, we need bodyguard.

Yeah, if we dealing with gangsters? [ANDREI] Listen.

My guys are, like, tech nerds and dentists.

Worse that's gonna happen is, they're gonna throw some dental floss on you.

[LAUGHS] Are you kidding me?

Listen to me, I don't want you messing with my dudes, all right?

Wait a minute, we are here to make money, all right?

And I am businessman. You understand that?

Yeah. We have to be on the same page, right?

We're on the same page. Now we're talkin'.

Now we're talkin', all right. Very good.

I'll see you jokesters in a couple weeks.

Hopefully by then we're gonna be making some dough.

We'll see.

Happy scrapping, boys. All right.



Morning. Hey.

You wanna get up?

I have a really awesome place I wanna take you for breakfast.

Yeah, let's do it.

But you gotta get up.

10 more minutes? [CHUCKLES]

All right, I'm gonna go get ready.

By the time I get back, you better be up.

Okay. Promise.

What the hell's this? Oh, shit.

Um, yeah, uh...

[STAMMERS] I-I can explain, um...

I-I-I-I work with a friend of mine, he runs a morgue, and I help out there, so we...

Wait, a morgue? Yeah, a morgue, um...

Part of his gig is putting masks on, um, disfigured people's faces for funerals.

I know it's-it's weird.

Um, and-and he made a mask of my face for some reason, and it... honestly, it's harmless, there's nothing to it.

Well, you said you were... Wait...

No, no, no, you said you were in the gold business.

Yeah. I am, yeah, exactly.

I am in the gold business, and Harvey, that's my friend's name, he's got boxes of gold teeth, and we're setting up this business, and I just didn't know how to tell you, I...

Do you even have your own place?

We can't spend the money right now, and I was supposed to get a place a couple weeks ago.

I'm working on it. I know it's weird, we've just been getting along so well...

So i-i-is it illegal?

No, no, no, no, not at all. It's not illegal. Look, I...

Okay, why don't you come see where I work?

Why don't you meet my friend and it'll make sense?

I know it's weird to see a mask and teeth and shit, but it's... it... it all adds up.

Trust me, it's harmless.

Why am I just hearing about this friend now?

You know since we first met, you have been so secretive.

Please just give me a second chance.

I got nothing to hide, I'll take you to him.

Whatever you want to know, I'll show you.

[STAMMERS] Is that cool?

Just give me a chance. It's... Whatever.



[HARVEY'S VOICE] You are late.

We have big issue!

Meet me at car dealership by 3 PM!

Hey, what's the rush? What are we doing here?

Let me show you something. I have a surprise for you. Come on.


Follow me.


Wait, how did you just start that?

It's automatic. You know, it's a new technology.

I could start it 100 miles from here.

Is this your car? Yes, it's mine, it's mine.

This is my dream car. I love this car.

I treat myself, this is my little baby.


But guess what? You see this one here?

It's crooked.

[LAUGHING] It's crooked.

But guess what? I got a discount.

You know, I told the salesman, "What's happen here?"

He say, "Hey, you know what? It's a one of a kind."

And I say, "Yeah, I'm a one of a million too, right? I'm special, I'm unique."

So I say, "Give me a discount." He give me the discount.

You know? I pay only $80,000.

Instead of $95,000.

You spent $80,000 on this car?

Yes, it's beautiful. Mm, my little baby, ahh!

I can lick it, ahh.

Come on. Let's go for spin!


We reach mountain of money, my friend, okay?

And now we should take it easy.

Lay low, as they say.

You haven't touched any of our money, right?

[LAUGHING] No, no, no.

No, I did not! Everything is secret.

Okay. All right, at this point there's plenty of money for both of us.

All right? You take your share, you redo your morgue.

I take my share and I get a place with Traci, we're good.

Traci? You should take it easy with her, okay?

If she loves you, she will accept your little tiny apartment, okay?

The studio, they call it. No.

That's totally unrealistic, all right?

We're happy, we can't live in a little shithole.

You know what?

You cannot buy your relationship by using money, okay?

Look, it does not work that way.

No, I appreciate your advice, but I worked hard for my money.

I'll be responsible for it.

You're not responsible, you don't know anything, okay?

And anyway, I cannot release money of this kind of condition.

Okay, if you just met Traci, you'd understand what I'm talking about.

Look, I don't be mediated between Traci and you and all of your drama! I'm not saying that!

She wants to meet you. Serious?

I'm serious. How and when?

Let's go to her work, right now.

Let's go meet her.

Hey. Listen. Hey. How you doing?

It was great doing business with you.


I wanna give you something. Okay.

My card. Oh, wow, business card. Thank you.

All right. [SCOFFS] What else do you want?

You sold me a crooked car, you know, what else you want?

It's over. It's finished. It's done. Okay?

Anything else?

All salespeople are the same. Especially car salesperson.



Oh... Hi. Hi.

You didn't tell me she's so beautiful. She's beautiful.

Nice to meet you, Terri. Traci.

Oh, Traci, okay. Nice to meet you.

I've heard a lot about you. Like what?

Well, Jon told me about how you work with dead people and you make masks.

Yeah, you mean special skills, okay?

And I collect their holy work, okay?

Holy work?

But don't you think about sex, okay?

Don't even think about it, okay?

It's not sex, it has nothing to do with sex.

I didn't say anything about sex.

I saw the mask you made of him. Uh-huh.

Don't you think that's a little... a little too real? A little weird?

What do you use it for?

[LAUGHS] It was fun!

It was fun, he's so cool guy.

What's your story?

What is your story, actually?

Well, I work here...

I'm just a simple guy. Working hard.

You're working here? Ah, okay. I'm working here, and Jon's my boyfriend.

Oh, he is? Where are you from?

Planet Earth.

"Planet Earth." [LAUGHS]

Okay, very cool!

Yeah, it is cool, isn't it?

You know about gold and the money? Money, gold?

Let me show you something. Okay.

This is... this is... this is gold, right?

And this is what? Money, right?

Which one you like? This or this?



Yeah, I don't know what all this is, but you want to know my story?

Yeah. What's your story? I work here.

Uh-huh. And that's my boyfriend.


That's all you need to know.

[LAUGHS] You know what? Some day he will support you.

You don't have to work at this lousy restaurant.


Okay, I don't need him to support me, okay?

I'm very independent, thank you.


You know, I just say that just for fun.

I have to go now, okay? So... It's cold here.

I have to go to car. Okay? Okay.

You see, Jon, the way she say independent girl?

[SCOFFS] She's so condescending. Can you see that?

And she's too negative, Jon.

Wait, how is that negative? She's just trying to get to know you.

You know, you shouldn't... shouldn't talk to her about money, okay?

In fact, she's... she's gold digger.

Gold digger? That's ridiculous.

You can get a girl without money.

I'm not using money. She knows I have nothing.

The way I see it, I have to keep our money little longer.

No, no, no, that's ridiculous. We had a deal.

We made a certain amount, we split it up, and now you're changing it.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I have a right for judgment.

No, and you never cleared it with me. You got a new car without even telling me.

[SCOFFS] The car? This car's business expense.

Business expense? You had a hearse, a Bel-Air!

Wait a minute! The other car blow up, okay?

What do you expect me to do, walk wherever I'm going?

Just walk?

Look, I am in charge here, okay?

I know, okay?

And maybe you should be me for one day, okay?


That'd be... that'd be good, though, all right?

I'm in charge here. I know what to do, all right?

And you should listen to me, okay?

Deal? End of story.

Please stop.


Yes, can I speak to Malmo please?

Hi, Malmo. How you doing?

Yeah, I see the paperwork right here, and, um, yeah, that's fine.

Yeah. Yeah, look, don't argue with me, please, okay?

I will have money for you, okay? $300,000.

Yeah, you can send your guy, if you like.

Around like 7:00. 7:00 PM is too late?

It doesn't matter...


[MAN] I'm a nice guy, I want to help you, I want to make this work for you, but you gotta help me back here.

I understand you're nice guy, Malmo.

I love you for it. I really do.

Then you gotta help me, all right?

Don't make me chase you around, return my phone calls.

All right? You want this or not? What do you need from me?

How many times do I have to tell you?

I need the first installment tomorrow night in cash.

Three hundred thousand dollars. Look, I cannot do...

You changed the entire agreement.

You wanna fuck around, you fuck around with somebody else, okay?

You wanted it done right, you'd do it with me, okay?

I'll give you till Tuesday, that's it.

Tuesday's my birthday. And I don't work.

Jesus Christ, look. [SCOFFS]

I don't know what you want me to do here, okay?

My guy's waiting, you pay him. Take it or leave it.

You need tomorrow? I'm done. I'm done with you.

Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Okay, tomorrow. You get it tomorrow. But you're such a brutal, you know?

You're such a jerk, all right?


Oh, hi, Jon. This is Mr. Shurten. Shelton, right?


And you'll be our new janitor, right? Maybe.

Oh, yeah. I'll be the, uh, the janitor here.

Okay, well, have a nice day, Yeah, well, get back to me. and we may call you. Tomorrow.

Okay. Tomorrow night.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Oh, Jon. What's going on?

Look, poor guy looking for the job. He wanted a job.

He may replace you because you always late.

You know? How many times you been late?

Anyway, clean up here, do something. I'm not doing your job.

Just clean up little bit.



It's Harvey, right? Yeah.

What the hell is this?

[SCOFFS] Why do you ask this stupid question?

Who are you? Why are you here?

I work for Malmo. Oh, yeah.

He was very disrespectful towards me, I don't know if you know that.

I'm his assistant. Jesus! So what?

Why you here? Money.

Money, how much?

Three hundred. I got your 300,000.

Be patient, for God's sake. You guys all the same.



Three hundred thousand, here you go.

[HARVEY] It's all there.

You know this isn't how we normally do these things.

Cash is cash, what do you expect? What are you going to do?

Do you ever hear of a cashier's check? Who cares I wrote cashier's check?

What a dick!

What a idiot.


Hey. What's wrong? [SIGHS] You called it.

All right, I saw him with my own eyes.

He's exchanging hundreds of thousands of dollars with some dude named Malmo, all right?

They're gonna burn through everything I worked for.


Is this drugs? Are you in trouble?

No. It's not drugs. Is he gonna hurt you?

We sold pounds of gold teeth, all right?

We made almost $2,000,000.


Two million dollars? Yeah, $2,000,000, and he's storing it in some fucking storage shed, and I haven't seen a penny of it.

Wait, whose idea was this?

It was my idea! All right?

Son of a bitch stole my idea.

Wait, who is this Malmo guy? I don't know.

Harvey's probably using this money to pay off his debts, all right?

He's got a lawsuit against him.

He's so full of shit! I mean, they're-they're coming after him, they're suing him for necrophilia and I...

Oh, God, Jon, you need to get your shit together, okay?

And you need to go get your damn money.

When do you see him next?


All right. Let's go get your money.

Let's do it.


Where are you taking me? All right, just straight ahead.

Just a little bit further.

Where? I got a nice surprise for you.

Oh, man. Just a little bit further.

You all right? We're almost there. Yeah.

It's pitch black, I cannot see anything.

I know, I got you. I got you.

I've got it.

What's his favorite band? His favorite kind of music?

I don't know, Rolling Stones.

[TRACI] Rolling Stones.

So what if, for his birthday surprise, we got him tickets to go see the Rolling Stones, somewhere far away?

[JON] But what if there's no concert?

Then we make one up.

Happy birthday, my friend.

We got you tickets to the Rolling Stones.


Oh! That's my favorite!

How did you know? In Vegas, remember?

You kept singing "Satisfaction." You said it's your favorite band.

I did? Yeah.

I don't remember. I mean, I...

[SCOFFS] It's great. I'm-I'm speechless.

We just need to get him far away from the safe, get him shitface drunk, and you somehow get those keys.


You stop at a gas station and meet me at the bathroom.

I go back to the safe.

You keep driving up the coast, and once he blacks out, ditch the creep.

From there, we go to Colorado.

It's been long time 'til someone actually say happy birthday to me.

You know what? I will make my wish right now.

By the time that creep wakes up, we'll be in our own home in Colorado with 2 mil... living in paradise.


This is finally our shot to get out of L.A.

Oh, yeah, it will come true.

You think? I think so.


Anyway, look, so why are we friends?

You know, I... I think we needed each other.

Why? To find out who we really are.

Who are we?


Pull over. I have to pee like hell. Come on, pull over.

It's beautiful here.

I think I will take a walk, think about life.






Jon, last night I had bad dream about you.

Bad vibration.

It's sad that you have no respect for me.

What are you talking about?

Nobody, no one will spoil my birthday. No one.

Take picture of me, come on. Here.

[HUMMING] You clumsy.


All right. Come on, one more.

♪ Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me ♪

♪ Happy birthday to me! ♪


Whoa! Harvey, Harvey, Harvey!

Be careful. Come on. Let's...

We gotta get going, we only have a few hours to get there.

Going where? The concert, we gotta go.

What concert, where? I parked the car illegally.

Where's the concert?

Where's the concert?

You're drunk. Look at this edge.

You're not making any sense. Come over here.

We gotta go. Come over here, for God's sake!

You see this edge?

Maybe someday you find out the truth.

You're such a liar, man.

- Where is concert, Jon? Candlestick Park!

It's on the ticket. It was demolished two years ago.



Have it! Hey, what the hell are you doing?

Come on, let's go!

Let's go. There's no place to go.

It's a fake ticket!

It's not real, Jon. I already told you over and over.

Jon, you stole my key, didn't you?

I didn't steal anything. Yes, you did!

These my keys in your pocket?

Or are you just happy to see me?

You know, there's something wrong with you.

You know, your mother, your story, and you, you're like a homeless person, with no soul and with no friends.

Fuck you! Yeah, fuck you too.


So I'm the liar, right? You don't... you don't have...

Yes, you're a liar! You're a super liar!

You don't have any secrets, right?

I know your game.

[HARVEY] What game? Stop bullshitting me.

Bullshitting what? I know everything.

Like what? I know everything.

You don't know shit. Let's start with this.

Who's Malmo? [LAUGHS]


I work really hard for my money, asshole.

You're such a prick, is what you are.

Where's the money in the safe?

You're just like a prick! You bought the car, you spent all the money. What money?

And I don't have anything. You don't need anything, 'cause you already have everything, that's why!

So who's Malmo? You still haven't answered me.


You're an ungrateful spy, that's what you are.


I give you everything!

Job, friendship, advice! You didn't give me nothing!


I kill you, man!

What the fuck are you doing, man?

What's your problem?




[HARVEY] I believe the deceased should be protected and we should give them a voice.


What did I teach you? Friendship before money, Jon.

You never learn.

I warn you to listen, they are coming after you now.

You went down like Elizabeth did, in tragedy, but in two different pieces.

Soon everybody in the world will know what you did.

Do you feel evil, Jon?

Do you?


You drive me crazy, Jon!


Evil man!

Burn in hell!