Better Call Saul S2E5 Script

Rebecca (2016)


Are the leeks too overpowering?

Not at all.

That's as good as the one we had in Florence.

Don't humor me.

I'm not.

How was rehearsal?

Did what's her name behave herself?

She takes the whole section for granted.

I'm debating whether to say something.

I think you should, absolutely.

Don't keep it inside.

Ready for the chiffonade?

Yeah, thanks.

And after all, if she's compromising the work...

Well, it's debatable. I mean, the Schubert is coming along nicely.

It's more about morale.

Morale can affect quality.

God knows the hoops that Howard jumps through just to keep the troops humming.

Well, true.

You deserve a medal for this.

Please. It's no big deal.

Your soy ginger marinade?

Well, I found a citrus one that looked good, so I thought I would try that.

Well, anyway, you are a trouper.

And I apologize in advance.

Let's just say he's something of an acquired taste.

Oh, how bad can he be?

Just in case, let's have a high sign.

How about the old Carol Burnett thing?

Oh, where she pulls her earlobe?

Yeah, exactly.

You do this, and I'll say I have briefs to read, and we'll get rid of him.

All right, whatever you want.

You know why she did that? Carol Burnett? Hmm?

It's a great story. It was a signal to her grandmother, who raised her, and...

Seriously? He's early.

You're a doll. Hmm.

Holy shit, look at this place!

Hey, Jimmy. Thanks for coming.

Bring it on in here.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, little taste of home for you.

Had to look all over town to find a place that had it.

Didn't have time to wrap it.

Well, thanks.

You're good.


I'm lookin' for a place. Mmm.. mmm.

I've been staying at the Ramada.

Thanks for the help, by the way, I found a few that I like.

This one place, the Beachcomber, has a pool.

And since the McGill clan is whiter than a pack of albino rats, I figure I'd better start working on my tan.

So, seriously considering that option.

I strongly suggest sunscreen.

We're up about 5,000 feet here, you'll fry.

Excellent point. Sunscreen.


So, a violinist?


And, according to Chuck, a crazy talented one at that.


I mean, wow.

Well, Chuck is very gracious.

She's being modest.

Rebecca is widely respected amongst her peers.

Yo-Yo Ma came to our wedding.

That's... Right on, man.

About the wedding, um, I've been meaning to apologize about that.

I'm truly sorry I wasn't...

No worries.


So, tell us about your first week at Hamlin Hamlin & McGill.

It was great!

I mean, they got me working in the mailroom, which, you gotta start somewhere.

I learned how to use the Xerox machine, which is surprisingly complicated.

I mean, press a button, piece of paper spits out? Not anymore.

Hmm. Thing's practically a computer.

It's like a goddamn space shuttle.

It's got like, double sided printing, automatic stapling, you know? Hmm.

Met some nice folks. Guys and gals.

Well, gal, singular, actually.

Learned everyone's name and I licked a ton of stamps.

My tongue is like hamburger meat. I mean, seriously.



I got... The thing is raw as hell.

Then I found out there's a sponge for that. Oops, rookie mistake.

Well, sounds like you had a very productive week.

Yeah! It was really great.

Hey, guys, um, I wanna thank you for having me over.

This is, like, the best meal I've had in a decade.

I mean, the fish is perfection. And the...



Thank you. That was very kind.

Well, you're a wonderful chef, you know?

Aside from being super talented with the... Yeah.

You got a good one, Chuck. I mean, lucky, lucky man.

Well, cheers to that.


Pardon me.

All right.

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside!

Aha, lawyer jokes.

I've only been in the mailroom a week, and I've heard maybe 100.

Yeah. It all comes from a place of affection.

Sure, of course.

What do you get when you cross The Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand.

Very clever. Never heard that one.

And believe me, I have nothing but the utmost respect for your profession.

I mean, it's a pillar of...

Oh, why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60?

Your Honor!

What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

Oh, no.

The tick falls off when you're dead!

Bam! Love that one.

You like that?

Just joking. I want you to know how seriously I take my job.

I'm grateful for the... Oh.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Classic set up here.

Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company!

Comedy gold.

I'm here all night!

More! Go, go.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Dessert, anyone?

We have a homemade blueberry crumble with vanilla ice cream.

Yeah. Blueberry crumble, sounds terrific.

I love a fruit based... Blueberry...

Wait, I think I know one!

Oh, bring it on! Yeah, yeah.

Um, what do lawyers and sperm have in common?

Oh, that's a... Um.

Three million...

No, wait, um, one in three million...

Have a chance of becoming a human being.

Love that one!

Well, that went well, don't you think?


Thanks again.

I don't know what you were worried about. Jimmy's great.

Yeah. No, he's...


So, what's going on tomorrow?

Well, I've got the Gernstetter deposition at 10:00, back to back partner meetings after lunch. It shouldn't be a late one.

Thought any more about what's her name?

It's your reputation, too, you know?

Well, we start the Tchaikovsky on Monday, so, I'll see what kind of mood she's in when we wrap.


What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.


Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah. Mmm.

Hello, you've reached the voicemail of Kim Wexler.

Please leave me a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

It's me again.

I think I found something that could help get you out of there.

I'm gonna make things right.

Call me, would you?

Hi. Whoa!

Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you.

I just thought everyone was gone.

Nope. I'm here late most nights.


By the way, I noticed in your office, you threw away a soda can.

You're going through my trash?


I was just dropping off papers at lunchtime and I happened to notice it in your trash can.

I fished it out, so, it's fine.

Office cans are for recyclable paper.

There's a separate, big can in the kitchen for plastic, glass and aluminum.

We take our ecological footprint pretty seriously here.

Okay, so, the big can is where I should throw my empty scotch bottles?

No, I get it.

"Go green."

Good. Was there anything else?

Yeah, one quick thing.

I have the brief you gave Cliff this morning.

The plaintiff's opposition to the defendant's motion?

I have a few notes.

I think they're pretty clear, but it's probably easier if we just go over them together.

Jesus. Those are Cliff's?

No, they're my notes.

I'd love to go over them now, if you have a minute.

It looks worse than it is, it's just that we have a particular house style.

Okay, no offense, but you're a second year associate, right?


And I came in as a fourth year.

That's right.

So, why is a second year giving notes to a fourth year?

Well, like I said, I know the house style.

Does Cliff have you babysitting me?

No! This is just one associate helping another.

Like here, the Roman numeral headings?

We use all caps for those.

And you indented them, which is perfectly fine, but Cliff likes them centered.

And before I forget, we put two spaces after a period on all our documents.

I know it seems like a minor thing, but it really looks so much cleaner on the page.

You went a tad overboard with the quotations.

It's okay to present a quote from a controlling legal opinion, but when you use too many, it disrupts the flow of your argument and it gives the impression you don't know how to write an argument of your own.

And I'm sure you do, so...

You have a tendency to overuse the words "clearly" and "obviously."

Again, it's a matter of personal opinion...

I really appreciate this, Erin, but I was just on my way out.

So, if we could continue this first thing tomorrow morning.

Well, I was thinking we should just get 'er done now.

No time like the present!

Sure. Let's roll up our sleeves and apply a little elbow grease.


So, I'm gonna get my favorite pen, and I will see you momentarily.

You got it.

Uh, miss Wexler?

You can call me "Kim".

Kim, it's 20 to midnight.

Are you asking me if you can leave?

Guys, I'm not your supervisor. Don't stick around on my account.

You coming, Kim?

Right behind you. Just finishing up this last one.

Hey, again. Thanks.

Hey, Gesualdo, could you skip vacuuming tonight, please?

Hey. Five minutes. Just give me five minutes.

Here's how we're gonna handle this travesty of justice.

Wexler v. Hamlin Hamlin & McGill?

You want me to sue my own firm?

Filing's all typed up, it's ready to go.

This is not my area of expertise, all right?

So, first order of business, we get a great employment law attorney, show 'em we mean business.

Come on. Hey, look at you!

Okay, you're here.

At midnight, in this glorified cell block, busting your ass, for what?

It has nothing to do with your performance. You're being mistreated.

Chuck is punishing you to get to me.

This is extortion, pure and simple.

No, that's Howard, who has an image to uphold.

He did the same thing after the Kettleman fiasco, and Chuck was nowhere in sight.

I'm telling you, Chuck is behind this.

No, you are behind this.

I told you this would happen, and now I'm paying the price.

I should've known better.

So, now, I'm keeping my head down and I'm getting through this.

And I'm most certainly not suing HHM.


Even if I won, who would hire me?

That would be career suicide.

All right. Then I quit Davis & Main.

What does that accomplish?

It's the only way to get you out of dutch.

Because this is about Chuck, whether you wanna believe it or not.

I give him what he wants, he lets up on you.

Wow. My knight in shining armor. That is some sacrifice.

Quitting a job that you've been trying to tank since day one.

That's not true.

I dig myself out of this hole.

You do your job, Jimmy.

Prove you can go one week. Hell, one day without breaking the rules of the New Mexico Bar Association, or pissing off your boss.

And don't insult my intelligence by saying you are doing any of this for me.

You don't save me.

I save me.

Just please go.

Hey. Is Erin in yet?

Goddamn pixie ninja.

I owe you a big apology.

I have a medical condition. GERD.

Gastroesophageal reflux disease.

I know, it's a mouthful, right?

It affects the lower oesophageal sphincter.

I took a risk yesterday at lunch with some onion rings, and last night... Are we doing this, or not?

You bet.

Hey, Jerry, it's Kim Wexler.

How's things with the alumni group?

Top 50? Go UNM Law!

Hey, wondering if you've heard that Santa Fe Place is looking for new outside counsel?

They should really be considering Hamlin Hamlin & McGill. We...

Huh. Must've just been a rumor.

Yeah, let's grab a drink soon.

You, too. Okay, bye.

Hey, uh, I remember you mentioned your brother worked in Intel's legal department?

I'm an attorney at Hamlin Hamlin & McGill, would you happen to know if Intel is happy with their legal representation?

That's flattering, but I'm seeing someone at the moment.

So, you know what? Just call the main number and they'll find me.

Yeah, no, we had drinks a few days ago, and she said you had a friend who...

So, they already settled.

I heard you ended up at Harvard Law.

Yeah. Yeah, she was my roommate.

Listen, uh, I'm an attorney at Hamlin Hamlin & McGill.

We're actually known for teaming with other firms on large contracts.

Schweikart? Sure. Yeah, I know them well. It's a great firm.

We met at that ABA mixer last year?

Yep, bourbon shots. That was me.

Well, congrats on landing the Honeywell contract.

Huge amount of work.

You, too.

How was your lunch? Good.

What'd you have? Uh, turkey wrap.

How's the place?

It's great. It's safe, quiet, they allow dogs.

We can't ask for more than that.

I can't get Kaylee out of the pool.

By the end of the day, she's a prune.

I'm glad she's enjoying it.

Hey, I better get her dinner started soon.

Go to the restaurant.

No, it's too expensive. I have groceries in the room.

Don't worry about that. Take her out.

Thanks, Mike.

She misses you.

You think you might come by later?

No, not yet. I don't want her to see me looking like this.

How bad was it?

Well, I can tell you, the next car I get's gonna have airbags.

Well, whenever you feel you're ready.

It's okay. It looks worse than it is.

You give Kaylee a kiss for me.

I will.

All right. Bye, darling.

Whoa, whoa, hold up. What the hell happened to you?

I get it. The first rule of Fight Club, right?

Let me introduce you. This is my babysitter, Erin.

Erin, this is my Grandpa, Mike.

Nice to meet you.

Thanks, Tim.

Good seeing you, Jimmy.

Listen, this clerk and I go way back. We're like this.

But she needs a little finessing, so can I handle it?

Yeah, sure.

Surprise! Bet you never thought you'd see me again.

Mmm.. hmm.

I need a summary judgment hearing with Michaelis for Bray v. O'Connell, and I'm hoping for Thursday at 10:00, before he...

Don't have it.

Thursday at noon, perhaps?


Thursday at 2:00. Now that's my final...

You're pretty. Will you be my new mommy?

What are you doing?


That's a bribe!

It's a gift.

That's how it works here. You grease the wheels of justice.

Give me... That's not how it works.

You submit the paperwork and you get a date. Period.

What don't you understand about finessing?

I apologize for my colleague. She's new.

Is there any possible way we can still get Thursday?

I'll give you 2:30 Thursday.

The 14th.

That's next month.

We'll take it.

So, does this go on my official Stasi report?

I'm not trying to get you in trouble.

I'm trying to keep you out of it.

I'm gonna hit the men's room.

The men's room.

Hey, how you doing, Bill?

How am I doing? How are you?

You know, hanging in.

Yeah. Word on the street is you're over at Davis & Main now.

You lucky son of a bitch.

Oh, you know, dancing with the devil.

So, how are things at the District Attorney..

Davis & Main! Man, that must be sweet.

They give you a car? Bet they gave you a car.

Yeah. They gave me car.

What kind?

It's a...

No! Don't tell me! I don't want to know.

I bet it's German. Is it German?

Yeah, it's German. The cup holder's...

You got a sick office? I bet you got a sick office.

Pretty sick, it's got a little fireplace.

Fireplace! I'd kill my mother for a fireplace.

Hell, I'd kill her for a window.

You have an assistant, right?

Don't tell me. Is she hot? She's hot, right?

She is a bright young man named Omar.


Hey, you've got a little something on your...

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

It's vomit. Again.

The worst part? Could've come from two different defendants.

Scumbags. They're all scumbags.

Oh, my God, where you living? They put you up?

It's a corporate apartment. It's just...

Ah, no! Don't tell me.


Ah, damn it, I gotta run.

I'm putting away some brain dead suckwad, who tried to rob a library.

Good seeing you, Bill.

Have a great day.

Yeah. Yeah.

Lucky bastard.

Hello. Hi. This is Kim Wexler.

I did leave a message. And I was just...

Yes, ma'am.

I'm sorry to bother you.

Hi. This is Kim Wexler. I was looking for Jennifer Johnson.

No, not his secretary, I'm an attorney.

Yes I did. I got your number from Chris. Sure, I will let them know.

Okay. Nope. Got it. Totally understand.

This is Kim Wexler from Hamlin Hamlin & McGill.

Actually... Hi. Can I just...

Would you tell him I'll call him right back?

Okay. Just let me know when it's a good time.

Got it.

Okay. Thanks for your time.

Hi, Claudia? Kim Wexler.

I'll let him know.

This is Kim Wexler. I was looking for Jillian Coagen.

I met you last year at the ABA mixer.

For your advice. Let me get you some.

All right. Just give me a call. Great.

Kim Wexler. I did call yesterday.

Okay. I totally get it.

Kim Wexler. Hey. How are you, Paige?

You did?

That's so nice to hear.

I thought we hit it off, as well.


I... I couldn't be more thrilled.

I mean, the firm and I.

Absolutely. I'll tell him right now.

I'm sure we can get something on the books tomorrow.

Day after, at the latest.

Thank you, Paige. Me, too.

Okay, bye.


There she is. Hi. Hi.

Paige, so good to see you!

You, too.

Kim, this is Kevin Wachtell, our CEO.

Kim Wexler. Great to meet you, Kevin.

And you.

Paige, Kevin, this is Howard Hamlin, our senior partner.

Pleasure. Likewise.

We're thrilled to have you folks here.

Kevin, true story. When I was seven years old, my very first bank account was at Mesa Verde, if you can believe it.

I can. Mine was too, back when my dad ran the place!

Wow. I can remember the cover of my first passbook. It was a silhouette of a...


A cowboy on horseback. Yes.

Standing next to a cactus.

I loved that cowboy.

Far as I was concerned, I was saving up for that horse.

What the heck else is money good for when you're seven years old?

So, we have a little presentation for you in our conference room.

Along with some snacks and a soy mocha latte with your name on it.

Oh. This one? She's a keeper.

Shall we? Let's do it.

Well, I think that couldn't have gone any better.

Pleasure to meet you. Fantastic. I'll see you soon.

Thanks for setting this up. I'll talk to you soon.

Lovely to meet you, Paige.


Right back at you.

I'll circle back with Paige, get the ball rolling, start talking strategy, you know.

Maybe put together a list of staff associates we can put on this.

I'll put Francis on that.

You've got enough on your plate in doc review.



Hey! Catch you at a bad time?

Not at all. Come in.

I hear clinking.

Does that mean we have something to celebrate?

We sure do.

What are we drinking to?

Got a juicy one for you.

Mesa Verde!

On retainer.

Oh, even better.

Congratulations. One of your golf course conquests?

Kim Wexler brought them in.

Fourth year associate snags a quarter of a million in billings?

She's probably having a couple drinks herself.

She's out of the doghouse, I assume?

We'll see.



Interstate expansion. Complex case.

That's two, maybe, three regulatory commissions we'll be dealing with.

Months of work for HHM. Maybe years.

Good morning, Rudolpho. Good morning, Mr. McGill.

Oh, sorry!

I didn't know anyone was here.

Just dropping off some Sandpiper stuff.

You're in early.

More like late.

Well, regardless of the hour, good to see you here.

Yeah, I'm trying something new, um, coming in, working until 9:00.

It's easier before the place opens, without all the lights, and the phones ringing.

How about some coffee?

No, thank you.

Would you mind making me some?

I apologize, it's just, I can't do it myself, what with the electricity.


No sugar. Just a splash of soy milk. I think we have it.


Um, make two cups.

Well, I guess it's true what they say.

The early bird gets the worm.

Which is good, if you like worms.


May I ask you a question?

Of course.

Do I have a future at this firm?

We have a lot in common, you and I.

My brother left you holding the bag.

If it makes you feel any better, you're not the first person to go out on a limb for him.

I made the same mistake over and over again.

And now Howard has.

And he blames you.

It's a damned mess.

Did Jimmy ever tell you anything about our father?

Not much, no.

My dad. Our dad...

He was, well, the personification of good.

I'm not sure he could even see sin, in any form.

He was born without the gene.

He ran a little corner store in Cicero, cigarettes behind the counter, penny candy.

Nothing special, but it kept food on the table.

And the neighborhood loved Dad.

He knew everybody's name, what was going on in their lives.

This little corner.

He made it better.

I was named after him.

Before that, he had worked for a lot of people over the years, and his dream was to be his own boss.

He put everything he had into that place.

I was away at college when he put Jimmy to work there.

Jimmy grew up in that store, watching our father.

But Dad was not the world's greatest businessman, and eventually, he ran into money troubles.

I had a clerkship at the time, but I came home to help him get his books in order, set the ship straight.

Now, I'm no accountant, but I discovered

$14,000 was just gone.

Vanished over the years.

Turns out Jimmy had pilfered it in drips and drabs.

Just took it out of the till.

My dad wouldn't hear it.

Nope. Not his Jimmy.

He ended up having to sell.

Six months later, he was dead.

At the funeral, no one cried harder than Jimmy.

My brother is not a bad person.

He has a good heart.

It's just,

he can't help himself.

And everyone is left picking up the pieces.

Is there any coffee left? No. I got it.

I'll talk to Howard. Pour a little oil on troubled waters.

You're being wasted down in doc review.

Good job with Mesa Verde.

Mind if I join you?

Hi. What can I get you?

Coffee. Black.

It's coming right up.


He really did a number on you.

Sorry. I know you?

The young man who did that to you, he's my nephew.

Hothead. Always has been. Kid thinks he's a boxer.

He should have shown you respect.

I apologize to you on behalf of my family.

Apology accepted.

And you know what? He should go to jail.

Best thing for him. Teach him respect for his elders.

But not for eight years.

Less. Much less.

You see what I'm getting at?

Not really.

The gun charge, that's eight years he's going away, maybe 10.

Aggravated assault, the gun, plus, he got your wallet.

That's right.

I would like for you to tell the police that the gun was yours.

Would you?

You're both a little hot under the collar about whether you bumped his car or not.

But there was a scuffle and he got your gun.

My gun?

Your gun from your pocket.

He got it, and that's how his prints got on it.

Then I would be subject to the gun charge.

You're an ex-cop.

They'll go easy on you.

So, you're a psychic.

I'll even twist Tuco's ear, make him apologize.

And he serves for battery.

Nothing else.

I'm looking for the best possible outcome for everybody.

And for your trouble, you take home $5,000.

Think about it.