Better Call Saul S2E9 Script

Nailed (2016)

Okay. All set.

Thank you for your patience.

Didn't you say that the hearing is more or less a formality?

Well, the real work's already been done, yes.

In that case, I'm fine covering it myself.

Kevin and Paige don't need both of us there.

That may be strictly true, but we want to send the right message, don't we?

I'm just worried about your comfort.

I find victory laps very comforting.

Well done, my friend.

Good morning.

This meeting of the New Mexico State Banking Board is now in session.

We have Mesa Verde here with us today, and they're represented by Charles McGill.

Nice to have you back, Charles.

Thank you. Good to be back.

I'm here with my colleague, Howard Hamlin.

And may I introduce Mr. Kevin Wachtell, president and chairman of Mesa Verde Holdings, and Ms. Paige Novick, Mesa Verde's senior counsel.

Hello and welcome.

I believe staff has found the application to meet the basic requirements for approval.

That's right, isn't it?

With your permission, Mr. Wachtell would like to make a brief statement in support of the application.

Mr. Commissioner, ladies and gentlemen of the New Mexico Banking Board, I'm honored and grateful to appear before you this morning.

We believe that our proposed expansion is in the public interest, both for Arizona and our own state.

For 46 years, the men and women of Mesa Verde Bank and Trust have prided ourselves on personal service and attention to detail, second to none.

Mesa Verde continues to operate at a Tier 1 leverage ratio of 11.2%.

Uh... Hold on. And we feel...

Excuse me, Mr. Wachtell. Just one moment.

Sir, sorry...

What's going on? Well, let's find out.

Uh, Mr. Commissioner, is there something we can clarify?

Um, yes. Can you give us the address of the proposed Scottsdale branch again?

Certainly. It's 1216 Rosella Drive, Scottsdale, Arizona, 85262.


Okay. Because the application I'm looking at today clearly gives the address as 1216.

1216. That's correct, sir.

But, in the original submission, we're seeing, "1261 Rosella Drive."

It is 1261. 1261.

I think, if you double check, you'll see that 1216 is correct.

There seem to be two different addresses here.

Mr. Commissioner, I have a copy of our notice of intent, which was published in newspapers in Arizona and New Mexico.

It clearly states the address is 1261...

Rosella Drive. Mr. Commissioner.

1261 Rosella Drive.

Yes, I have a copy of the notice of intent, too.

But on the actual filing, the address reads 1216.

So, which is it?

Mr. Commissioner, if I may confer with my clients?

Certainly. Please.

It's absolutely 1261.

You are mistaken.

And with all due respect, you are muddying the waters here.

Muddying the waters?

Look. Just look.

Well, this is clearly an error.

It's 1261. I know where my own damn bank is.

Now, let's just all calm down. I'm sure we can straighten this out.

I've got a building remodel at 1261 Rosella.

I don't know where the hell 1216 is.

I... I don't quite understand.

1261? 1261.

Is this gonna be a problem? No, I'm sure it won't be.


Mr. Commissioner, I apologize.

Unaccountably, there appears to be a discrepancy in our filing.

So, the correct address is the one that appeared in the notice of intent?

The 1261?

It would seem so.

We'd like to request a, um...

An adjournment of just a few minutes, so that we can amend the filing to reflect the correct address.

Well, I, uh...

I can give you an adjournment, uh...

Uh, but, uh...

I don't think we can get you back in today.

If I may, when do you think you might be able to schedule us?

I'm being told by staff that they've already done the research for 1216 Rosella Drive.

Our folks are going to have to go back to square one...

...on the new address. If we could obtain a provisional agreement today... allow the branch to open... No, no.

With all due respect, it's up to you folks to submit accurate paperwork.

Maybe next time double check.

Now, uh, the soonest we could revisit this matter...

Well, it looks like six weeks from Friday.


We can't wait six weeks.

Mr. Commissioner, Mesa Verde has put effort and resources into preparing this branch to open immediately.

However unusual, a provisional approval would be most appreciated, most welcome.

Time being of the essence... Charles, I'm sorry.

I'll see you in six weeks. That closes the matter for today.

Will staff please note that Mesa Verde will return in six weeks.

At which time, we will revisit this application.

That's understood well now?

This is not possible.

This is not possible!


No. No.


I don't understand.

I don't understand. It was 1216. It was.

I checked. I double checked!

Chuck, it happened.

Now we take our licks and move on.

This doesn't just reflect on you.

An office full of associates and paralegals let this get by.

I did too, for that matter.

It was 1216. I promise you!

Everyone makes mistakes.

This was no mistake.

I'm buying a round for the house.



Hey! Hey, listen up, everybody!

This gentleman's buying a round for the house!

All right, lift with your knees.

What does that even mean? "Lift with your knees?"

I don't know. It's something sweaty people say. Here we go.

One, two, three.

Got it.

Almost, almost, almost. Got it.

All right. Right there. Go. Go.

You okay?

Nothing a few years of physical therapy won't fix.


All right. Push.

Slow, slow, slow. Corner, corner, corner.

Yeah. Get that one.

Hi, Paige, how are you?

Yeah. I mean, no. No, it's fine.




Yes. Of course.

Right. I understand.


Yeah, that would be perfect. I'll see you then.

Great. And, uh, listen, Paige, thank you.

Thank you.



What? What's up?

I, uh...

I just got Mesa Verde back.



Holy shit, that's unbelievable!

I... What happened to HHM?

Uh, Paige didn't go into it.

She just said the filing didn't go through.

We're gonna meet this afternoon.

Hey, what did I tell you?

Sometimes the good guys win!

Ugh. It sounds like there's some regulatory issues.

Kevin's still worried that one lawyer won't be able to handle it.

You can. Yeah...

I'm gonna have to get a paralegal. Maybe two of them.

And I absolutely will pay for it out of my end.

No. Come on. Split it down the middle.

You know what, I need a Westlaw terminal right away.

I don't even know who to call to get that done.

These are high class problems. Yeah, but it's a major piece of work, Jimmy.

It's just... This is major.

Hey, Kim, you got this. All right? So, take a moment.

Breathe. Savor.

You know what? You're right.

Damn right, I'm right.

It's Ernie.

Hi, Ernie. What's up?

Yeah. No, Paige just called me.


Did Chuck say why...

So when...

Sure. No time like the present.



The Mesa Verde files.

Chuck's ready to turn them over to me.



That was, uh, quick.

Yeah. I...

I'm gonna go change, and get over there.

Do you want some help?

That depends. Are you gonna carry boxes, or are you gonna gloat?

Uh, some from Column A, some from Column B.

Ground yourself.


Just touch the thing.

What the hell? This thing doesn't...

Hey, Jimmy. Hey, Kim. Hey, Ernie.

Something's wrong with the lock.

Mr. McGill had me call a locksmith and change them.

Yeah? Why did he do that?

Hey, Chuck, why'd you change the locks?

Ernesto, I think we're good.

I'm sure you're needed back at the office.

Well, I'll get going then. Thanks.

Bye, Jimmy. Bye, Kim.

Bye, Ernie. See you, Ernie.

So, Chuck, what's the deal with the locks?

Kim, I was hoping to have this conversation with you, and you alone.

However, I guess it's time to clear the air once and for all.

Clear the air about what?

He sabotaged me.

Buddy, what are you... Please.

Don't bother.

You and I both know exactly what I'm talking about.

I don't.

Yesterday morning was the worst professional humiliation of my life.

A single transpositional error cost my client time and money, and permanently damaged my reputation.

Then I realized, it wasn't an error.

Not at all.

A week ago last night, I was right there, on that couch, barely conscious.

And Jimmy showed up...

...and he sent Ernesto away.

My brother was gonna take care of me.

And in the dead of night, he went through my Mesa Verde files.

You know what? We don't have to listen to this.

She does!

You do.

For your own good.

Now, in these files are 13 documents containing the address of Mesa Verde's proposed branch.

1261 Rosella Drive, Scottsdale, Arizona.

Jimmy pulled each and every one.

Then left me here, sweating and delirious, while he went off to doctor them.

You'd need a photocopier for that.

Where'd you go, some all night copy shop?

With a little careful cutting and pasting, he created duplicates, virtually identical to my originals, but with one key change.

1261 Rosella Drive became 1216 Rosella Drive.

This is sounding like a lot of work.

No one ever accused you of being lazy.

Every other sin in the book, but not that one.

And if you're wondering if Jimmy's up to a little casual forgery, you should know, in high school, he had a thriving business making fake IDs so his buddies could buy beer.

You're going all the way back to high school, huh?

Hey, you and Mozart, huh?

You both started young.

He came back here, and put his new versions in my files.

And then, the next day, my caring brother took his leave.

He knew that I would use his modified documents to write Mesa Verde's submission to the state regulator.

And so I did.

Over and over, I typed 1216 instead of 1261.

I remember thinking, "1216 Rosella Drive, that's just one year after 1215, the year the Magna Carta was signed."

Jesus, Chuck. You are unbelievable.

So, you're saying, if we look in here, all the addresses will be wrong?

Well, of course you weren't gonna leave evidence behind.

I'm guessing, yesterday morning you waited until I left, then used your key to let yourself in and return the originals.

No crime is complete without the cover-up.

Oh, come on.

I did all this, what, for some business?

He did it for you.

Well, I'm sure you didn't know anything about it.

I believe he went off on his own, and did this as some kind of twisted romantic gesture.

Chuck, I think you need to lie down with a cold washcloth on your head.

Now that you know, you have no choice.

This is about a client.

A client who has been defrauded.

As a sworn officer of the court, as Mesa Verde's attorney of record, you have no recourse but to go to Kevin Wachtell and make a full disclosure.

This whole song and dance is all about getting his client back.

That's all this is.

Not in the least.

If, knowing the truth, they still decide to go...

You can't stand the fact that they chose her over you.

I can't stand the fact my own brother stabbed me in the back!

I can't stand the fact that you've deceived and ruined this fine young woman!

Ruined? What is this, the 1840s?

What are you talking about?

She's not ruined!


If what you're saying is true, Jimmy could be charged with forgery, fraud, falsifying evidence, even breaking and entering.

Frankly, I'm sick about this.

But facts are facts.

And what is your evidence?

My evidence...

My evidence is knowing my brother for his entire life.

Chuck, I think there is another explanation.

It's a simpler one.

You made a mistake.

I did not.

You're working by lantern light, squinting over 10-point type for hour after hour.

Mistakenly changing 1261 to 1216 would be the most natural thing in the world.

It could certainly happen to me.

I did not make a mistake!

I believe you did.

Look, I understand that you have great affection for Jimmy.

A great many people do.

But please, open your eyes here!

You made a mistake, and instead of just facing up to it, you accuse your brother of plotting against you.

You come up with this elaborate scheme...

He's capable of this. You know he is.

I know he's not perfect.

And I know he cuts corners.

But you're the one who made him this way.

He idolizes you.

He accepts you.

He takes care of you.

And all he ever wanted was your love and support.

But all you've ever done is judge him.

You never believed in him.

You never wanted him to succeed.

And you know what?

I feel sorry for him.

And I feel sorry for you.

Jesus! What?

Kim, what?

Just drive.

All right, line up by class!

Find your buddy!

Let's go.

Come on. Come on.

Plant yourself.

Here? Yeah, right there.

All right. About yea high.

Aim it up at me. Heroic.

Heroic? Good luck with that.

Just frame me up. All right?

Make sure you get the neck, okay? It's a low angle shot.

Okay. Hey, you know what?

Let me see. Oh, it's just base.

What, am I dying of consumption?

Well, at your age, you don't want to look too red.

It looks like rosacea.

And what's with all the...

I'm just trying to make it look like you have a jawline.

I do have a jawline.

You know what? You stand in for me.

Crouch down. Okay.

Move to your left. The other left. More. More. Okay. Boom!

That's what I'm talking about. You got it.

Dude, there's gotta be an easier way to get this shot.

Not for free.

You wanna be a filmmaker, grow a pair.

Here we go. Picture's up.

Okay, let's do this.

Last looks.

Rhubarb! Rhubarb! Nine o' clock!

Excuse me.

Hi, are you in charge here? Yes, I am.

And this is school property.

You're just the person I wanna speak to.

It would be incredibly helpful if you can get those kids and that building over there to just keep it down for a bit.

Just give them a worksheet or something?

I mean, just two or three minutes, just for sound.

This is school property, and no one is allowed here without permission.

Of course not.

You didn't speak to Annette?


In the superintendent's office.

Do you know an Annette downtown? I don't think so.

Well, I'm sorry about the mix-up.

We're shooting what's called an establishing shot.

Five minutes tops. You're not shooting anything until I'm clear on what's going on here.

The documentary.

We're making a documentary. That's... Oh...

I was told there was a display or a plaque of some kind.

Would you know where that would be?

Why would we have a plaque?

Because of who went to school here.

Who went to school here?

Rupert Holmes. That's who the documentary is about.

I'm sorry, who?

Rupert Holmes. You know.

Rupert Holmes!

The singer songwriter.

You know, uh, The Pina Colada Song.

I mean, sure you do. I...

♪ If you like pina coladas ♪

♪ And getting caught in the rain ♪

♪ If you're not into yoga ♪

♪ And you got half a brain ♪

♪ If you like making love at midnight ♪

♪ In the dunes by the cape ♪ See? Look at her face.

Rupert Holmes. He went to school here?

Yeah. Class of '64. He still talks about it.

But the school was built in '71.

Hmm. He was a student in the old building that used to be here.

We're taking a little, what do you call it, "artistic liberties."

Isn't Rupert Holmes English?

Well, yeah. And that's some great trivia.

But he spent his formative years right here in Albuquerque.

I'll tell you what?

Why don't you call Annette down in the superintendent's office?

And we'll just stay here till you get official word.

Well, if you don't mind waiting. Not at all.

We don't want to break any rules.

It shouldn't take very long, I'm sure.

And no promises, but I'll see what I can do about getting the kids to quiet down.

Oh, that would be super helpful.

Chop-chop! Magic time!

Come on, let's go.

No last looks! Just the flag, the flag!

Okay, remember, heroic.

Yeah, you're a hero.

Big, big hero.


Hey! Hey, hey, hey.


Dolly, dolly.

Dolly, dolly.



Hey, Mike.

Hey, Fran. Are you still serving breakfast?

For you? Sure.

The usual? Uh, that'd be great.

Thanks. Mmm-hmm.

Anything good in the paper?

No. Was there ever anything good in the paper?

Not too often.

Hey, Fran?


I gotta ask.

Does it ever snow around here?

Sure it does.

This gonna be your first winter in Albuquerque?

Yeah. I'm out from Philadelphia.

Yeah. It depends on the year.


If you stay around long enough, you'll have something to shovel, don't you worry.

That suits me.

I live up in Cedar Crest, we get plenty.

You can shovel my drive if you're looking for more.

Just say the word.

Yeah, well...

Miss! Cheque, please.


We gotta talk.

I've got something I need to know.

And I need to know it fast.

What's that? We got hit the other day.

A truck headed south got hijacked, someone stole a quarter million.

Now Hector's flippin' out, looking for who did it.

Thing is, I think it was you.

They left the driver hogtied, not a mark on him.

Anyone in the game would've capped him without a second thought.

But this driver, he's still breathing.

I thought to myself, "Who's the guy who'll rip off a couple hundred thousand in drug money, and leave a witness?"

"Who's the guy who won't pull the trigger?"


I'm not here to squeeze you.

You wanna rip off the cartel, that's your business.

But here's the thing. I'm picking up that driver.

Hector's orders.

We're gonna see what he knows. And if he knows you, that's bad for both of us.

That shouldn't concern you.

But he was in on it, right?

The driver had nothing to do with it.

Then who? Just me.

You're telling me you did this without someone on the inside?

Not possible. How did you know about the truck?

How do you know about the tyres?

All I can tell you is, you guys aren't half as smart as you think you are.

So, the driver doesn't know anything?

Not a thing.

He hear your voice? No.

Right now, Hector's looking at the competition, but if he hears the driver say it was some old gringo...

He didn't hear me.

Saw a guy with a ski mask, that's it.

And that's for sure?


You'd better be right.

Why wasn't it in the papers?


The truck robbery. The cops keeping it out of the papers?

The cops?

The cops don't know shit about it.

How's that?

Is that what this is about?

You wanted to put the cops onto Hector? Why?

You are nothing to him. He forgot all about you.

I haven't forgotten him.

You put me in the shit, just 'cause you got it in for Hector Salamanca?

Listen, you put the cops on him, you put them on me.

Doing it for the money, I get it.

But this shit, that's insane.

You need to calm yourself down.

And you need to take that hand out of that pocket.

And just so you know, it's over.

I'm done with your boss.


Why wasn't it in the papers?

Because we cleaned it up.

How's that?

We got lucky.

After you left, a good Samaritan came along and said, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God."

He cut the driver loose. The driver called us.

We came out, got the truck.

Made it like it never happened.

And that good Samaritan?

Hector shot him in the face.

We buried the guy out in the desert.

Like I said, we cleaned it up.

How was your day?

You know. I met with Paige and Kevin, interviewed some paralegals.

And, uh, this. What about you?

Finished the commercial.

I don't wanna oversell it, but I think it might be the greatest 60 seconds in the history of television.

Tomorrow morning, uh, somewhere between 11:18 and 11:35, stop what you're doing, and tune into Diagnosis Murder.

I'll make a point of it.

You wanna talk about this?

Not now, not ever.

I'm just gonna say, you are meant for Mesa Verde, and they are meant for you.

So, all is right with the world.



Your brother is one smart lawyer.

The smartest one I know. I mean, no offence.

He'd make quite an adversary.

You better believe it.

The kind of adversary who'd find even the smallest crack in your defense.

Going against him, you'd really want to make sure you've got all your I's dotted and your T's crossed.

Nothing for him to find.

Hey, how you doin'?

Be with you in a minute.

Remember me?



I got a weird feeling you do, Lance.

Tonight is a funny night.

For some reason tonight, I feel like I've got all the answers.

I'm feeling kinda like, uh...

Like Carnac.

You remember when Johnny Carson used to do Carnac?

And he'd give the answers before the questions.

You know, Ed would give him the envelope, yeah?

And Johnny would hold it up to his forehead, and, uh, he'd give the answer.

Like, Leave it to Beaver.

Then Johnny'd tear open the envelope.

And there's the question.

"What did the dead raccoon say in his will?"

That ring a bell?

Before your time?

All right, well, let's cut to the chase.

Um, the guy who just walked out of here, his name is Ernie.

I'm guessing he showed you my picture and asked if I was in here the other night.

Now he's going to bring his boss, who is my brother.

And he's gonna ask you the same question.

"Did you see that guy the other night?"

Well, the answer is no.

You feel me?

You murder someone?


Rob a bank?

No way am I that cool. No.

I... Sometimes, I go number two, and I don't flush.

But this is just a thing between brothers.

And we're both lawyers, so...

Right. I mean, that's a long and boring story.

You don't wanna know.

Is this gonna get me jammed up with the cops?

My brother might make it sound like that, but no.

It's just family.

Then I feel you.

Hey, tell me about the cameras?

Oh, uh... They go to a VCR in the back.

It tapes for 12 hours, and then records over itself.

Right. So I'm on there now?

How hard would it be to erase?


I don't know.

Could be tricky and expensive.

Like 100 bucks expensive?

Like 200 bucks expensive.

You will go far, my young friend.

Uh... Good evening.


Lance, is it?


Lance, I'm Charles McGill.

Uh, my associate, um, spoke with you earlier, and he showed you this photo.


On or about the morning of the 18th, this person was here in this shop, is that correct?


On or about the...

The 18th, early morning.


Well, I...

I believe you told my associate that he was here, and that he made copies.

Yeah, but...

Sorry, no.


That's my guy.

All right, the, uh...

The night of Tuesday the 17th, leading into early Wednesday, the early hours of Wednesday, of the 18th...

Were you in fact here? Can we establish that?

I mean, I work graveyard.

So, yeah.

Stay strong, Lance.

Was this man here making copies?

Yeah. It's like I said, I don't think so.

Well, earlier you said that he was here.

Now you're saying that he wasn't. Which is it?

Uh, yeah. Well, when that guy showed me the picture, I thought maybe.

But now that I'm seeing it again...

Uh, sorry, don't know what to tell you, guess I was wrong.

Son, listen carefully, I'm an officer of the court, investigating a felony.

So, you're a cop?

No. No, I'm not. I'm...

Mr. McGill, maybe we better get you home.

Ernesto, do not speak to me as if I were a child. I'm fine.

I am not a police officer. I am an attorney.

And I have a moral and legal obligation to get to the bottom of this matter.

The bottom of what?

Forgery, fraud, falsifying evidence.

Breaking and entering.

This guy, is he okay?

There is nothing wrong with me.

Mr. McGill, maybe we could just take a break.

Ernie, shut up!

You think about the choice you're making.

I already told you he wasn't here.

What do you want me to say?

I want you to speak the truth.

I know he was here. I know what he did.

Tell me what you told Ernesto.

Stop trying to change your story.

Excuse me. Sorry. How do we get this to do 11x14?

No, excuse me, we are having a conversation here!

You gotta switch it to tray four. It's easier if I tell you... Look.

Dude... Okay. I... I...

I... I don't want any problems here. So, just...

Get him out of here, or I'm gonna call the cops. Okay?

Do not walk away from me. We are not finished here.

I am done talking to you, man!

Call 9-1-1.

Call 9-1-1. Come on.