Better Call Saul S3E8 Script

Slip (2017)

[THUMPING]

[LOCK CLANKING]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

Let there be light.

And then there was light.

Geez.

Will you look at this...

That's where your mom used to work.

Right back there, doin' the books.

Yeah. Whatever.

Hey, remember when we used to ditch fourth come in the back door?

Tell your folks it was a free period.

O'Dell's algebra two.

[LAUGHING] Mr. o'Dell.

Man, that guy was a butthole.

And your mom, you know, I think she knew we were skipping, but she'd always stop what she was doing and gimme a pack of little Debbie's. Ahh.

Think all those little Debbie's put them out of business.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, how'd you get up there when you were a kid?

Couple of milk crates, you know?

Ohh.

[RATTLING]

[SNIFFLES] All right.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CHUCKLES]

No. No. No. Nope.

Ah.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Boom.

Indian head penny. All right?

That's worth about three bucks.

We Polish it up, run the coin game...

Nice. We get 150 bucks, easy.

$150?

We got a $110 for a plain vanilla half dollar.

This... this is actually rare.

I mean, you can see it.

$300, easy. Oh, $300?

Me likey. Yeah.

Now you're gonna tell me what your coin collection was doin' up there.

Uh...

[SIGHS]

It's a long story.

Um... Let's get outta here.

[SIREN WAILS, FLASHLIGHT CLICKS]

[WAILING CONTINUES]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

All right. Now. Let's hit it.

No, there might be another one.

All right.

Then give.

What's the deal with the coins?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, uh...

[INHALES SHARPLY] I was what?

Uh, 12 or so?

I was working the register.

Guy comes in, buys a box of ivory flakes and a sixer of old style.

He pays with a couple bucks and...

This.

The second I see it, I know what it is...

It's a George Washington silver.

I tell my dad, "pop, this quarter is rare.

It's worth four bucks."

Barely get the words outta my mouth...

He hightails it outta here to give it back.

He can't find the guy, so he tapes it to the side of the register...

He's hoping [CHUCKLING] that this guy will come back so we can return it.

After about a week, he starts talking about givin' it to father mahoney for the poor box, so I make it disappear.

And after that, every day after school, I'm checking the till.

You know, something catches my eye, I stick it in the box, put it up there for good luck.

[CLEARS THROAT]

So much for good luck.

It was a cryin' shame they lost this place.

[CHUCKLING] They never shoulda bought it in the first place.

My dad didn't have it in him.

Whaddya mean?

Your folks worked so hard.

Yeah, they worked hard!

They worked a lotta hours for a lotta years.

For nothin'.

I dunno, Jimmy. He had a lotta customers.

Everybody liked him.

Everybody liked him 'cause he was a soft touch.

You know?

Every deadbeat in the neighborhood owed him money.

You come in here with a sob story, you leave with a pat on the back and a gallon of milk.

He... he coulda made it work.

He coulda sold beer and cigarettes to the kids from Mary-Margaret's, but [CHUCKLES] oh, no, not him.

He was never gonna do what he had to do.

[SIREN WAILING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

How'd you know there'd be another?

[SCOFFS]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

Oh.

Banquet's over.

Those conventioneers been talking farm equipment for 10 hours straight...

Now they wanna party.

Gonna be a big night, my friend. Whaddya say?

Time to get moving? Let's go.

♪♪

[VEHICLE APPROACHES]

[BREAKS SQUEAL]

[GEARSHIFT CLICKS]

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

[KEYS JINGLE]

[TRUNK SQUEAKS]

[SIGHS]


[WIND RUSHING, INSECTS CHIRPING]

[METAL DETECTOR BEEPING]

[METAL DETECTOR BEEPS LOUDLY]

[CLATTERS]

♪♪

[METAL DETECTOR BEEPING]

♪♪

♪♪

[METAL DETECTOR BEEPING]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[SIGHS]

♪♪

Yeah. Tribal police?

Yeah, I was out on your property this afternoon and found a dead body.

Off the old post road.

Out in the scrub, just past the oasis motel billboard.

I was out with my metal detector, looking for arrowheads.

No, I don't want to give my name.

I-I-i was trespassing.

Look, y-you'd better send someone out there to find him before the coyotes do.

♪♪

♪♪ CHUCK: Over here, I've recorded the location of the incident, that is where I was physically when it began.

This column gives a proximate origin...

Uh, and as you can see, uh, much of time, I couldn't be sure, so I just wrote "ambient."

Um, and, of course, I've recorded the, uh, times and dosages of the medicine.

This is very impressive, Charles.

And look at the trend!

Day one, pain of 7 and 8, even 8.5.

Day three, nothing higher than five and a quarter.

And now...

It's all 3s and 4s.

Later in the session, I'd like to give you some exercises and strategies that might help even more.

I'm all ears.

How do you see your next steps?

Well, clearly, with this kind of improvement, [SCOFFS] It won't be long before I'm back to work full time, with no accommodations.

And then, soon after, I want to get back into court.

I haven't argued a case in almost three years, so that's next.

And I'm gonna get these lights turned back on.

I want this house to be full of music.

I want to have a dinner party...

Oh, hell, no. [CHUCKLES]

A great, big celebration.

I want a hundred people in here, spilling out onto the lawn...

I want caterers and a full bar.

I want to be surrounded by friends and colleagues.

That's stirring.

[CHUCKLES] Those are excellent goals.

[SIGHS] Doctor, I wouldn't have believed I could come so far so quickly.

And I have to give you the lion's share of the credit.

Well, it's remarkable.

But Rome wasn't built in a day.

I know rushing forward may be tempting, but it's important to give yourself time.

Mm.

You've just begun a journey that could take years.

Well, I suppose, but, um, surely you'd admit that every case is different?

Of course.

Then perhaps, uh, my recovery might be speedier than your run-of-the-mill patient.

Isn't that possible?

I'm just cautioning you not to push yourself too hard.

Mm. I know.

Appreciate every step forward, but modulate your expectations.

Yes, absolutely.

[SIGHS]

Let's talk about the night you first called me.

Mm. You sounded very distressed.

I was.

Using a telephone must have been difficult for you.

[SIGHS]

I had to walk 10 blocks to a pay phone.

That was extremely uncomfortable.

P-probably almost a 9.

[INHALES SHARPLY, CLEARS THROAT]

What made it so important to talk to me that night?

[SIGHS]

I'd had an incident.

A very public incident.

Perhaps the worst experience of my life.

[SIGHS]

It was proven to me, in public, and beyond the shadow of a doubt, that there was a battery... A fully charged battery...

Almost next to my skin for the better part of two hours.

And I felt nothing.

What does that mean to you?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

This condition...

To me, it's as real as that chair.

It's as real as this house.

It's as real as you.

But...

What if it's not?

What if it's all in my head?

And if that's true...

If it's not real...

Then what have I done?

[CLOCK TICKING]

JIMMY: It's all in the storyboards.

Get set for the master shot.

Okay.

Lookin' good!

We about ready? Just about.

I gotta hand it to you.

[CHUCKLING] I mean, this is the busiest weekday we've had in the last six months.

And are people mentioning the commercial?

You know what?

They are. [CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLING] Excellent!

I know. [CHUCKLES] Oh, here's your partner.

Hey, get him into make-up, and we can carve this Turkey.

Okay. Listen. L... ex-excuse me.

Not now. It's all right.

Sorry.

I just got off the phone with the station.

You don't even work for them.

I never said I work for the station.

I... [CLEARS THROAT]

Saul Goodman productions, remember?

You work with us so you don't have to deal with the bureaucrats at kwbv.

We take care of everything.

Okay. Remind me, how much is all this gonna cost?

Exactly what we talked about the [CHUCKLING] other day.

The first one was gratis. That's my treat.

Now we're moving on to the elite package...

Seven commercials for the heavily discounted price of $6,500.

Mm. Yeah.

The station just quoted me $450 per.

$450? That's for air time only.

Call the station.

Ask them how much they'd charge for production of seven top-flight TV commercials.

Okay, but why do we need seven new ones in the first place?

Yeah.

What... what's to stop us from paying the station to just keep running the one we have?

That's not what we agreed to.

[CHUCKLING] How about that for starters?

He did give us the first one for free.

Yeah, I know.

Okay, how about this...

How about we pay you $450 for the one that already aired, and then we take it from there?

Guys, I don't wanna get technical on ya, but that commercial...

It doesn't actually belong to you.

Look, it's the real and intellectual property of Saul Goodman productions.

[SCOFFS] I don't think so.

I mean, it's our faces.

It's our store. And it's my commercial.

And you can't run it without my permission. Oh. Okay.

Okay. Want to play it like that?

Mm-hmm. Okay, $450 is now off the table.

Yeah, and that crew of yours? [CHUCKLING] Yeah.

Just a bunch of unm students.

We can get those. We can get students.

We can get students. Yes, we can.

We can reshoot the ad... Yes.

...and then run that. How about that? Guys. Guys, come on.

Now, you wouldn't even be thinking about a commercial if it wasn't for me!

Okay, we are not gonna pay you $6,500 for something that we can do ourselves.

You got it? Seriously?

Seriously. Seriously.

Th... Excuse us.

[CASH REGISTER BEEPING, PRINTING]

Hello, there. Anything we can help you with?

[SCOFFS]

[GUITAR PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[METAL SQUEAKS]

What?

Put that camera back up. Roll it.

It's not gonna do a damn thing.

Don't give me any lip, okay? Just roll it.

Make sure it's pointed in my direction.

[CONVERSATION CONTINUES]

Now, if you're gigging a lot... Are you gigging a lot?

Uh, guys. Sorry to interrupt.

Just want to make sure... There's no wiggle room here?

We are with customers right now. Yeah.

Please, all right? Just go. Thank you.

Okay, well, best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Go. Goodbye. Go.

Sorry about that. Sorry about that.

[DRUM CLANGS] Oh!

[GROANS] Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?

[GROANING] It was...

A drumstick.

It was laying loose in the aisle.

Somebody call an ambulance!

No, you don't need to...

[INHALES SHARPLY] I don't need...

Aah! [GASPS]

Yes, an ambulance.

That's a good idea.

You guys have liability insurance, right?

KEVIN: To our "four corners strategy..."

Cheers to that. Cheers.

[CHATTER] Mmm.

I'm not saying this to rush you, but I have a 2:45 tee time at four hills...

So don't let me get, uh, long-winded.

[CHUCKLING] Okay.

I've heard the water gets tricky on the back nine there.

You heard right. I didn't know you played.

Well, growing up where I did, there was pretty much nothing else to do.

We oughta be having this meeting out on the fairway.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I think Kim has a lot to cover.

Speaking of which...

Sorry, but I-i gotta ask.

I've got a friend, Billy gatwood.

He's a driller, has a small operation over near farwell.

Anyway, the poor bastard's tangled up in some kind of an interstate wrangle between Texas and new Mexico.

Now, I can't make heads or tails of it, and neither can he.

His lawyer was a local guy, completely over his head.

So Billy's fired the guy, but now he doesn't know whether to shit or wind his watch...

Pardon my French.

[CHUCKLES] HOWARD: Right this way.

Anyhow, I told him about the job you're doing for us, and I know he'd love to talk to you.

...Montana, I'd suggest big sky.

It's got all the beauty of Montana, but you don't have to wait as long in the lift lines.

Another... Oh, wow.

I can't tell you how flattering that is.

PAIGE: Remember, Kim's got her hands full with Utah and Colorado.

As far as I'm concerned, she's proven she can field whatever we throw at her and then some.

[CHUCKLES]

Kevin, your faith in me is...

It's... It means a lot.

But when we first started working together, I promised you mesa verde would be my sole focus.

And I meant it.

Well, sure, but I gotta TAKE... HOWARD: Hey there!

I thought I saw some familiar faces.

Howard. Kim... Sit.

I insist.

Kevin... Howard.

...Paige... Always wonderful to see you.

You, too, Howard. How've you been?

Fantastic. Thank you.

All's well with the expansion?

I saw you got that branch approved on your original timeline, after all.

We did. Thanks to Ms. wexler here.

[CHUCKLES] Well, Kim's one of the best.

You're lucky to have her.

She sure is, and we sure are.

Seems like just yesterday she was logging hours in doc review.

[CHUCKLES]

Always a pleasure to see one of our protégées spread her wings and leave the nest.

Well, I'll get out of your hair.

Best of luck to all of you.

You, too, Howard.

I appreciate that we've got you all to ourselves, but I'm thinking Billy just needs a consultation... I'm so sorry, um, but, uh, would you excuse me for just a moment?

Sure.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

HOWARD: I've had the salmon here and the fillet.

If you like sea scallops, they're fantastic.

Kim. Uh, uh, hello again. Howard... Sit.

I insist. Sorry to interrupt.

I just needed to give Howard something.

Folks, this is Kim wexler, a former member of our firm.

Kim, uh, this is the team from O'Malley industries.

Oh, of course. I remember Lauren.

Good to see you again, Kim.

This is Jack sweet, our new cfo.

Oh, hello. Pleasure.

Nice to see you, too, Henry, Nick.

Marie Austin. Good to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Good to see all of you.

Have a wonderful lunch, Howard.

Mm.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Sorry to hold things up.

PAIGE: Not at all. Okay.

Kevin, if you want to give me Mr. gatwood's number, I'd be happy to speak to him.

Well, that's great.

Once I understand what's going on, I'll put him together with a firm that'll take very good care of him.

I leave it in your capable hands.

Great. Okay, Utah.

The good news is the filing requirements are very similar to what we submitted for Arizona. Oh, good.

Thanks again, Kim. I'll let Billy know you'll be calling, and we'll talk tee times soon.

Sounds good. All right. See you soon, Kim.

Bye.

[ENGINE STARTS] Thank you.

What the hell is this?

I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

Look, Howard, you were very generous when I left hhm, but it never sat right with me that you covered my law-school loans.

It seemed to sit right at the time.

I appreciate the gift, but now that I'm able to afford it, I want to pay you back.

Oh, you "appreciate the gift"?

Yes, I do, Howard. You know what I'm doing in there?

Take a guess.

I'm doing damage control.

And I'm doing it three meals a day for the past two weeks with every one of our clients.

I'm busting my ass, trying to repair the reputation of the firm after you and Jimmy dragged it through the mud.

I did everything in my power to defend my client.

Oh, is that what you're calling it?

That's the job, Howard.

And by the way, it was all very convenient for you to ignore Chuck's illness when it suited you.

So, I take you out of the mail room, put you through law school, mentor you, and then when you leave and stab me in the back, that's my fault?

[BRAKES SQUEAK] I'm not cashing this.

Kim, your debt is forgiven.

But anything else? That's on you.

All Jimmy and I did was show the situation for what it is.

And if you are hiding that from your clients?

Well, Howard, that's on you.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[ENGINE REVS]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[FINK'S "COLD FEET" PLAYS]


[SNIFFLES]

♪ Cold ♪

♪ feet ♪

♪ always walk in a vicious circle ♪

[AIR HISSING]

♪ Cold feet always walk in a vicious circle ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ cold feet, yeah ♪

♪ always taking you nowhere ♪

[VOCALIZING]

♪ Cold feet always taking you nowhere ♪

[VOCALIZING]

♪ Cold feet ♪ Torrent downloaded from RARBG

♪ Always walk in a vicious circle, yeah ♪

♪ cold feet always walk in a vicious circle ♪

[SIGHS]

[VOCALIZING]

Nacho.

Nacho: Hey, papa.

[CONVERSING IN SPANISH]


Chuck: Blue shirt.

Yellow wall.

Silver door.

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

White sign.

Red pepper.

Purple sweater.

Brown wood.

Black mat.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]

[ELECTRICITY HUMMING]

Woman on P.A.: Jason, can I get you to the front for carryout assistance?

Jason to the front for carryout assistance.

[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE]

[SIGHS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Yellow bananas.

Green grapes.

Orange... Oranges.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Oh, excuse me.

Um, where would I find the s-soy milk?

Uh, over there and to the left, just past the freezer aisle.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING LOUDLY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

The white ceiling.

Green basket.

Gray floor.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪♪

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING LOUDER]

[BUZZING STOPS, TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]

[GUITAR PLAYS IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHS] All set?

Yeah.

Courier on the way?

20 minutes. Great.

They'll need this back at gatwood oil by eod.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

What's...?

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Hey.

Hey.

What's up?

Oh. Uh, new guitar.

Check it out.

[CHUCKLES]

Mm. That is something.

I sold the rest of my ads.

That must be a relief.

Uh-huh.

They loved the response they got.

Were so impressed, they threw in this baby.

Signed by the one and only ritchie blackmore.

And, uh, lying on the floor helps you with your fingering?

Oh, I fell. What?

It was during productions.

[CHUCKLING] Crazy stuff happens.

A long story.

But the big picture... I'm up one guitar.

[CLICKS TONGUE] When did this happen?

Yesterday.

I saw you yesterday. You were fine.

Uh, that was Tuesday.

You picked up clean clothes.

'Member?

Did you go to the doctor?

Oh, it's... it's not as bad as it looks.

I just need to rest it.

It'll be fine.

Look on the desk.

There's something for you.

Yeah, that.

Open it.

[CHUCKLES]

That's my half.

It's good for the next six weeks.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

So at least we can stop talking about that.

Jimmy, I wasn't...

Just take it so we're square, all right?

Okay.

Sorry.

Just...

My back hurts like hell, and, uh...

People suck.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

Jimmy, you...

You don't have to push yourself like this.

You could rest. [SIGHS] [MUSIC STOPS]

Let your back heal.

And then you go to community service and get it over with.

Take some time.

Plan your next move.

Meaning...?

I'm saying...

I could cover our expenses for a while.

Kim, you got the cash in your hand. Yeah, I know, but...

So why are we talking about this? All I'm saying is I looked at the numbers, and I can carry us.

Not forever, but at least until you're back to 100%.

I appreciate the thought, but no.

I'll do what I have to do to take care of my half.

You do what you have to do to take care of yours.

End of story. [SIGHS]

Okay.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

I mean, you believe me, right?

Yes.

Feel better, Jimmy.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Francesca, is it too late to get a hold of the courier?

I can call. Need to reschedule?

No, cancel it.

And get Billy gatwood on the phone for me.

Will do. Thanks.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[INTERCOM BEEPS]

I've got Billy gatwood on the line.

Great.

Put him through.

Mr. gatwood? Hi. Kim wexler.

Listen, I've been reviewing your documents, and I thought I might've had to refer you to a colleague, but...

I think I may have a solution to your problem myself.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Do you think you have some time this week we could sit down and talk?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

Chuck.

Howard. What a nice surprise.

I knocked, but there was no answer.

Thought you were asleep.

Figured I'd wait, in case...

Are those groceries? They are.

I decided to go for a little walk.

That's great, Chuck. [CHUCKLES] Why don't you come on in?

Uh, thank you.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Well, I wish it was just a social call, but unfortunately, we do have an issue we need to discuss.

What's that?

It concerns your malpractice insurance.

There's...

Well, we should sit and talk it through.

[KEYS JINGLING]

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

[HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE]

[VEHICLES PASSING IN DISTANCE]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

[CLANGING SOFTLY]

[METAL CREAKING]

[AIR HISSING]

[FRANCISCO SARMIENTO'S "CORRIDO DE UN RATON" PLAYS]

[GRILL SIZZLING]

[FAN WHIRRING SOFTLY]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[GROANS]

You're good.

Cool.

See you, nacho.

Don Hector.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[DOOR CREAKS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

What?

This one looks funny.

Bring it here.

[GRILL SIZZLING IN DISTANCE]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

You see? Is it fake?

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

No, it's fine.

[MONEY THUMPS]

I'm so sorry, don Hector.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MONEY RUSTLING]

[SNIFFLES]

[LOS PANCHOS' "HASTA MAÑANA" PLAYS]

[CHAIR SCRAPES]

[SNIFFLES]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Carlos.

Nacho.

[SNIFFLES]

I'm heavy.

Took care of that problem over on fifth.

That crew won't bother us no more...

Hey, do me a favor. Shut up.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

You're good.

Okay.

See you next week.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪♪

♪♪

[PILLS RATTLING SOFTLY]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[SNIFFLES]

♪♪

[SIGHS]

♪♪

♪♪ Don Hector, more Espresso?

♪♪

[FOOTSTEPS ECHO]

♪♪

[GRILL SIZZLING]

♪♪

[SIGHS]

[LOS PANCHOS' "HASTA MAÑANA" PLAYS]

[CREAKS]

[VEHICLES PASSING]

[INSECTS BUZZING]

MAN: Mcgill.

Keep it moving.

[GROANS]

[WIND WHISTLING]

Freddy: Sir. Sir.

What's up?

Hey, uh, it's... it's my kid.

Her mom just called.

You're not supposed to be on the phone.

I know, I know, but she's sick.

She caught pneumonia at day care.

She's in the hospital.

Please, can I go? Sure, you can go.

But you're not gettin' credit.

C'mon, can I just go and come right back?

I have to get my hours done this week.

Judge says so.

Judge told you, huh?

Sounds like that's on you.

[FREDDY SCOFFS]

[VEHICLES PASSING]

[WIND WHISTLING]

Hey, buddy, you wanna get outta here?

How much is it worth to you?

What?

To ditch this.

How much? Leave me alone, yo.

Come on.

You want to get to your deal or what?

Man, I was just tryin' ta see my sick kid.

[CHUCKLES]

You're trying to sell something you shouldn't have to someone who shouldn't be buying it.

[STAMMERS]

Hey. No judgments, all right?

Man's gotta make a living.

I'm just saying the way you make yours rhymes with "mug mealer."

Yeah. What are you... a narc?

I'm the guy who's gonna get you out of here and let you keep your hours. [SCOFFS] Yeah?

Yeah. How you gonna do that?

Lemme worry about the how, okay?

You just...

700 bucks, and you're gone.

[CHUCKLES] No, I don't have 700 bucks.

Hey, you got a couple grand in your sock.

[SCOFFS]

[SNIFFLES]

700 bucks.

And you can get me outta here?

[SCOFFS] Aight.

You can do it, you got a deal.

Okay.

Just go pick up trash. Go on.

[CREAKING]

[SIGHS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

The hell's this?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Resting. Uh, hurt my back.

Get up.

Nope. My back's killing me.

Suit yourself.

You're not getting your hours.

I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me my hours.

Oh, yeah?

And how do you figure that?

'Cause if you don't, I'm gonna sue you.

[CHUCKLES]

Hate to break it to you, smart guy, but you signed a waiver.

I signed a waiver with the city.

But I'm not suing the city.

I'm suing you! Personally!

You can't do that.

Buddy...

[GROANS]

...this is the land of the free and the home of the lawsuit...

I sure as shootin' can.

And you know what?

I think I'll bring that guy in with me and make it a class-action thing.

What's he got to do with it?

You knowingly prevented him from visiting his child in the hospital.

If that isn't intentional infliction of emotional distress, what is?

That's... Crazy.

[CHUCKLING] Crazy hasn't even started.

I can also sue you for failure to approve community-service hours...

That's a direct violation of your duties as an agent of the state of new Mexico.

I'm only doin' my job...

And just for tickles, maybe I throw in failure to treat and mitigate damages suffered by me due to injuries sustained under your watch.

Injury? My back.

You're full of shit. The waiver clearly states...

[CHUCKLING] Now, that waiver's gonna make Swiss cheese look solid.

And in a personal lawsuit, it's a fart in the wind.

[WIND RUSHING]

You're never gonna win that.

Maybe. Maybe not.

In order to find out, we gotta do some math.

Let's see.

A lawyer's gonna cost you about 90 bucks an hour.

You're looking at 8 to 12 months of litigation, minimum.

I'll represent myself.

[CHUCKLING] Great! Bring it on.

You got a car? You got a house?

A pension? Kiss it all goodbye.

Look, out here, you might be king douche-nozzle, but in court, you are little people.

Look, the judge and I...

We'll gladly spend the next five years in the courtroom.

But for you, it's expensive.

It's very, very expensive.

It's third-mortgage expensive.

So... I'm offering you a simple choice.

You can go to your wife.

You can explain to her you're about to lose your job, your pension, and whatever pinhole of a reputation you've got at the bowling alley on glow-ball Sundays, or let my friend here visit his sick daughter in the hospital, and you can let me rest my back on this sacred, now litter-free new Mexico soil.

Oh, and we keep our hours.

[WIND RUSHING]

[VEHICLES PASSING]

Fine.

Asshole.

Well, go on!

Get outta here.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, man.

That was some jedi mind shit right there!

[CHUCKLES]

[WIND RUSHING]

The best $700 I done ever spent.

Here you go.

I'm out.

[CELLPHONE DIALING]

Yeah, yeah.

Yo, I'm on my way. Yeah, yeah.

[WIND RUSHING]

[SIGHS]

♪♪

♪♪

[SIGHS]

♪♪

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

♪♪

[VEHICLE PASSES]

♪♪

[KEYS JINGLING]

♪♪ MIKE: I've got a problem I think you can help me with.

I've got cash I can't spend.

About $200,000.

If anything happens to me, my family'll never see it.

Now, it seems to me you opened this place to solve a similar problem.

And you think that solution could be applied to you.

As a one-time arrangement.

It would be unwise for us to be publicly associated, wouldn't you agree?

Because of the salamancas.

If they were to take notice, there would be consequences for both of us.

[SIGHS]

I'm thinking a paper transaction.

Even so.

Perhaps there is a way.

One with a degree more...

Difficulty.

But one I may be able to arrange.

Would 20% overcome this difficulty?

I would not take money from your family.

[CLOCK TICKING]

[CHAIR SCRAPES]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪