Better Off Zed (2018) Script

Yo Mark, hey, I left some oranges out here for you last night.

Sorry Man, hope I didn't scare you.

There's still no news and, yeah.

And you know what?

Hey, you're welcome inside the house anytime, okay?

Just knock first.

Morning, Bill.

Morning, Fred.

Buenos Dias, Senor Gomez.

Aw, morning, Maria.


The governor has mobilized the National Guard, of which at least 35% are unable to report for duty.

Monterey, Big Sur, Modesto, Bakersfield...

Guy, why no lights?

We have the sunshine.

Yeah, we also have lights.

The Southland continues to experience a wide spread outbreak,

And no more coffee.

That's great.

Guy, where's my good knife?

Where are all my good knives?

I repurposed those old magnets we had.

When did you do that?

Last night.

Oh hey, check it out.

Hot water.


Whoo, I told you it would work.

Heated by some clever ingenuity and a little mother nature.

Next rainfall, we're set.

Look what else I found.

Batteries What for?

I don't know, anything.

I got them when they were on sale.

What size are they?

Nine volt.

Oh, Man.

Ugh, they're all expired Jesus Christ, play some music for a change.

It's okay, Baby

Honey, I'm sorry.

There's no coffee and I'm developing an intense hatred of oranges.

We have figs.

Yeah, and beans, Guy.

Cans of beans.

We also have those dried ones.

What are they, the, lima or navy bean or whatever?

Look, I failed legume identification class, but I think I can get a garden going in that front room.

You know, put some dirt and those boxes, and there's easily enough light out there to get one going.

Yeah, if we can last through tomato season, you're gonna have to shoot me, and please, can you wear clothes?

It doesn't matter anymore.

Yes, it does.

Just, at least wear pants, okay?

Hey, look, see?

I checked the fence.

Okay, it's all good.

It's fine.

Choppers are still buzzing around.

I think one saw me this morning.

Wait, what?


Why didn't you wake me up?

Did you do a signal?

Yes, I waived the flag like crazy, but they just, they weren't close enough.

Next time, please wake me up.

They'll be back, okay?

I was just out there, and...


Guy, what?

Maria turned.

Paige, oh, goddammit.

Come on.




That's my bracelet.

I let her borrow it.

Paige, come on.

Come on, Baby.

Nope, nope.

It's not our fault.

She should've been in here, with us.

They all should have.

We tried.

God, I hate this.

Where are they?

Why haven't they come yet?

Isn't this exactly why we taxes?

I think I'm gonna take up painting.

What do you think?


Yeah, why not?

I mean, the air's getting cleaner without all the traffic.

Just sit out there and just breathe it in.

I'm getting so much sleep, I feel great.

I have all this creative energy.

I feel fucking creative, you know?

I love my knife wall.

Is this how you spent your days, just waking up and I don't know, making shit?

Are you okay if I use your paints and stuff?

I promise, I'll do my chores first.

Thank you, Honey


Hey, Guy?


What are these?

I was cleaning out your desk.

All right.

Done. What are you doing?

I wanted to talk to you about that.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Do you think he's alone in there?

He always was before.

Hey, we could snag his plant collection.

No, Guy, you're not going in after his weed.

That's stupid.

Yeah, well, look, he's not gonna get out, I promise.

Well, I'm not sleeping with him out there.

I can't.

Come on.

Trust me.

Don't you fuck this up.

Shut up.

What a jerk.

Guy, I found my other phone charger.

If there's no internet, I seriously doubt they're worried about cell towers.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna keep trying to do the, what're you doing?

I'm deciding on what kind of painter I want to be.

What, my chores are done.


They are!

Guy, hey.

Oh, I like it, Honey.

Ordered chaos.

But you know what?

I think if I'm gonna start with still life, I think I want nature.

You know, like the back yard is some kind of like a modern Eden.

Oh my God, you found my Kurosawa Sword.

No, Guy, stop it.

This is not a still life.

We're into week three and everything you see here, this is all we have left in the house.

No, we have oranges, we have figs, we have plenty of water.

Look, you didn't even comment on my invention.

We're gonna have rain water from the roof.

We live in a desert.

You know what?

I've tasted your life for a few days now.

The no worries, no hassles, doing exactly doing what you want to do, and I don't want to give it up now, not if I don't have to.

You think that I sat around all day and just played paint by numbers?

No, Guy, there were phone calls that I had to make and galleries I had to pitch and a bunch of essays I had to write about why I do blah blah bullshit as a contemporary painter.

And for every single person that said yes to me, 50 said no, 100 people said no to me.

That was my life every single day, just a bunch of fucking people saying no.

Okay, so you want to go back to that?


Yes, I do.


Okay, and what about Mark, huh?

He's not getting out.

Do you hear that?

See, see?


See us!

Fuck, see us!

See us.




I'm not gonna sleep with him like that.

What do you want me to do?

That's my Kurosawa sword.

This is about survival.

No, that's mine and you shouldn't be touching it.

Guy, eventually there's gonna be so many of them that we're not gonna keep them out.

You're gonna kill my friend with my limited edition Kurosawa Sword?


No, you're gonna do it.

Oh, I am?


Oh, okay, and why my friend?

Why not yours?


No, why not?

Guy, wait.

Oh no, but this is about survival.

No, just wait.

What, just because he's dead, it doesn't matter?

Come on, stop!

Do it.

Since it's so easy, I want to see this.

You have to cut off her head, or at least smash it.

Go, smash Maria's brains.

Okay, yes, I get it.

This shit's not even sharp.

Don't cry, Baby.

I'm not crying.

I just, shit.

Guy, I don't feel anything.

It's like we're already dead.

Are you kidding?

A month ago I was killing myself trying to keep this house, trying to keep us afloat.

I know.

There's no stress here.

I mean, there's no mortgage, you know?

No bills.

No deadlines.

No getting up at fucking 5:30 in the morning for some bullshit client meeting downtown, that I don't have to be there for anyway.

I mean, there's no debt.


Student loans?

Yeah, gone.

And babe, think about all the things that we've wanted to do, right?

All the books that you've never finished reading, you know?

All the time, all the time.

I mean, fuck, every night, you telling me that you don't have enough time to get things done.

How many times have you said that?

All the time.

All the time, all the time.

This is the best thing that could've ever happened.

Okay, okay, look, I know, it's not the most ideal scenario, but, you know?

If it was gonna happen anyway...

You know what?

We've got plenty of food, we've got plenty of water.


You killed Bill.

Yeah, well he blew shit into our yard all the time and he knows it.


I married you because if anything like this was ever gonna happen, I wanted it to happen with you,

so let's not leave.


And you wanted to sell my DVDs.

Ugh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't.

No more.

Isn't there like a disease that's the opposite of Scurvy?

Oh my God, I have reverse Scurvy.

I know I have it.


I think I do.

I don't even know what Scurvy is.

It's, like, a pirate thing.

I'm still worried, you know?

They'll let us know when it's okay.

We'll check every day.

No, not just about that.

You know how you said that you have all this freedom now and all this time to just do whatever we want and, I don't feel like painting.

Like, not at all.

Give it time.

You will.

You finished off that whiskey, didn't you?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

It's funny, I always thought that paradise would have an open bar.

I've decided I'm a Manet.

Not Monet, but Manet.

Yeah, I know the difference.

I'm just letting you know that I know the difference.

Miss smarty pants, MFA painter.

Nobody decides what kind of artist they're gonna be, they just paint.

Morning, Fred.

Tough shit, Bill.

Los siento, SeƱor Gomez Good morning, Lady I don't know.

Good morning, Other Dude I don't know.

Hey, Honey?




For the first time in a long time, I am taking a bath.

You want company?


You want music?

Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

All right, I'll be outside working.






Oh, come on.




Oh, hey.

I heard loud noises.

Yeah, it was probably just, uh, probably just stuff falling off of stuff.

Yeah, we're okay.

The fence is tight.

I checked the whole thing.

You want to paint with me?




Since you're dressed for it, how about a date tonight?


Wow, this looks really good.

Oh, thank you.

I made a balsamic glaze reduction and I steamed the protein paste and then I made some black beans.

Thank you.


Did you forget the wine glasses?

Are you kidding me?

Guy, oh my gosh.

How did you get that?

Careful, now, don't drop it.

Where did you, you know what?

I don't want to know.

Just open it.

Guy, I don't think we should.

I ran out of pills.

Maria, are you laughing?




Did you give Maria that purse you got for the holiday party?

Yeah, she always really liked it.


You okay?

I'm great.

Did you turn on the radio today?


The procedure...

We can go in the bedroom.

No, it's okay.


It's late, we should go to sleep.


They're just my boots.

I've been wanting a pair of boots like that for so long and now I can't even order them and I will never be able to wear them somewhere.

Don't you have boots like that?


Those are completely different.

Am I a bitch for crying about boots?


I am.

I'm a bitch for crying about boots.

I never wanted to be one of those girls and now I am totally one of those girls.

You don't need boots.

Fuck boots.

Look at these girls.

Look at this one.

She doesn't look happy at all.

She doesn't?


Come on, Baby.

Let's go to bed.

Come on.

I love you, Guy.

I love you, too.

God dammit.


It's ready

And, ta-da!

You see what it is?

Look, you just take an orange out and the rest of them go through this little tube.

But, uh, okay But what does it do?

Well, it does that, but, the oranges go through the tube and it pops out.

But that's all?

Well, yeah, that's, that's what it does.

You said you had an invention.

Well, well yeah.

I mean, it's an invention, but it's, you know, it's like a sculpture.

Hm, no it's, good job.

You hate it.

No, it's, it's very creative.

It's very creative?


Shut up!



Stay back, no.

Stop it.



Stop it.




I just killed one.

I just killed one outside.

I used him to plug the hole in the fence.

What were you doing outside?

Guy, did you signal them?

When they fly over outside, do you signal them?

Yes, of course I do.

Were you ever gonna tell me?

It's too late.

You don't know that.

Baby, there are 50 blocks of walking corpses between us and them.

This is real.

We don't even know if that place is still safe.

This is safe.

Jesus fucking Christ, Guy.

This is like winning the fucking lottery for you, isn't it?

You promised me you wouldn't go outside alone.

And you said you'd wear pants!

Make up your mind.

This is a fucking signal.

When it's dark.

Shut up!

I don't want you out here.

Well, I have this.

They can't, they're not gonna see you.

You're gonna, you're gonna wear out the batteries.

Right, I hear we have like 20 pounds of nine volts.

It doesn't take nine volts.

I know that!

And they're expired.

I'm going out back.

Don't follow me.


It's good.

I know.

You're not a Manet.

I know.

I'm still mad at you.

I know.

I didn't hear a single chopper last night.

I'm sorry.

I think I want to create an entire series based on this first piece, like your second year project, and I want to name it after you.

Would you like that?


Hey, are we okay?

We're great.


There's no more water?

There's no more gas either, but it's fine.

We've got the water in the tank, and we've got electricity.


Hey, what're you doing?

Oh, just looking at pictures.

Come see, I fixed it.




It was for my hard drive.

We have, like, at least 10 hours, so we just turn it on when we need it.


10 hours.

Local authorities have attempted to assert control of the situation with sweep and clear teams working their way through the neighborhood.

Wait, what was that?

It just keeps repeating over and over again.

We get it.

Well you don't know that, maybe that was gonna be something different.

Turn it back on.

I don't want to.



It's gone.

Look, I know it's gonna be harder for us to stay, but...

Nothing's changed.

They'll find us.

I don't want to fight anymore.

Me neither.

Once again, in order to aid sweep and clear teams in your area, place red, yellow or white fabric outside the front door, low to the ground and visible from above.

And we're here with the Ruiz Family, who were barricaded on the top floor of the building before a sweep and clear rescue.

How are you?

We are so lucky and so blessed.

It's every man, woman and child for themselves out there, and his world needs that now more than ever.

He commands it.

He condones it, because if the world shall ever come back to us, if the world shall ever be whole again, if the world shall be repopulated and civilization reborn, then love must be the answer.

Love must find a way.

Do not enter Metro stations, sewers or utility tunnels for safety.

Most have been overrun with the infection.

If you are living in less infected areas and feel it is safe to run, please, make your way to bunkers marked with the bright green dot.

They contain food, water and weapons.

The search for patient zero as the CDC is growing desperate in its attempt to contain the outrage.

Locally, the LA county sheriff's department has become...


Oh, God, what is that?

It looks like the sewage came up to say good morning.

Hey, how long you been up?

Did you eat?


Guy, gross.

It's an honest question, did you eat?

There's poop everywhere!

Inside your house until it is cleared.

The authorities, directions from the authorities Stay inside your house!






What's going on?

Where are they?

Did you get messages?

Yes, I got a whole bunch of text messages.

Where did you put them?

What did they say?

To send in our address.

Did you?

Yes, of course I did, and then my phone died.

What are you doing?

Where did you put...

Oh, Jesus.

What did you do?

We had an agreement.

I gave them our address, Guy.

This is over.

Not until we have to go.

This isn't paradise!

Okay, well, you know what?

Then leave.

Where will we go?

We don't even know what's out there.

Look, we can wait a few hours.


Not another minute!

You can't make me stay here.

Jesus Christ, wait a minute, stop it!

Paige, wait a minute, stop it!


Right now!

Shhh, stop making so much noise!

Stop it.


Chill the fuck out.


Be right back.

Fuck it.




There's so many of them, and they're coming this way.

Let's go.

Come on.

Where's the sword?

Quiet, okay?

It's right here, look.

Oh no.

Close it, close it, close it!

Go, go go!

What do we do?

The front door!

Kill him!

We're gonna shove him outside.

He's not a spider, Guy, kill him inside!

I'm gonna use the sword outside!


Hit the power!

Flip the power!

Flip the switch!

No, on the thing.

It's on the thing.

The thing!

Okay, now we're leaving.


I just want to point out that I didn't wuss out.

Oh God, Guy, ow!

Aw, shit.

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh shit, oh shit, ow. Guy, this is really tingling.

It feels really weird.

I don't know, okay, I don't know.

Just pour something on it.


I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Honey, did he get you, too?

No, no, he didn't get you.

That's not a bite.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.




It's not.


Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Goddamn it!


Guy, stop.


I'm sorry, I'm so fucking pissed off!

So am I.

You don't think I'm pissed off?

Of course I do.



Great! Good!



All right Baby, come on.

Try not to move.

Come here

Oh, Guy.

It's burning really bad.

Why is it burning in my belly so bad?


Yeah, Baby.

I'm sorry I went back to graduate school.

That was stupid.

No, no, shut up.

It wasn't fair.

You should've told me we were in trouble.

I could've helped.

It doesn't matter.

I'm sorry for everything stupid I ever did.

You are not stupid.

We were all good.

We're all good, Baby

I don't feel anything.

They're coming.

They're gonna come for us, okay?

Then they'll gonna be able to fix you, okay?



I'm scared now.

We'll start a little art colony.

Our own little art colony and you can teach art classes with all the other survivors.

I'll gather the supplies.

'Cause whatever's out there, people are always gonna need art, right?

They'll crave it.

Hey, come on Baby, stay awake, okay?


They're gonna be here any minute.

Guy, I'm so hot.

I feel so hot.

Baby, you're cold.

It's probably because you lit all those fucking candles.

I'm gonna put you on the bed, okay?

No, no, not our bed.

You should stay away from me now, I think.


I don't want to hurt you.

Let's go, let's go.


Come on.

You wanna know what's funny?

I wish I could paint.



I'm sorry I was such a jerk.



Come on.

You with me?


Oh, no, no, no. No.



No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm sorry, Baby.


No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, yeah, huh?

You want a mint, huh?



Piece of shit.

I'm down here!


No, Baby.

No, come here.

No, no, no.

Clear, clear.

Move out.