Big Time Adolescence (2019) Script


[clock ticking]


[door opening]

PRINCIPAL: Monroe.

Monroe!

MO: I know this seems bad, but it's not entirely my fault.

MO: It's his. ‐ Yo.

MO: Zeke was my sister's boyfriend.

I don't know if they called themselves that.

I mean, for all I know, he had other girlfriends in other houses who babysat their little brothers.

But what was I gonna do? Kate was a big girl.

And I was not a big guy.

But Zeke never made me feel small.

You know, he didn't talk to me like my parents or teachers did.

He took me on rollercoasters, he took me to R‐rated movies, he let me taste beer.

He showed me a picture of a naked girl on his phone.

Adult stuff.

He was the man, and he made me feel like the man.

[riders screaming]

ZEKE: [scoffs] I could be an actor.

KATE: No, you're too ugly.

ZEKE: Yeah, but like, in a hot way like Steve Buscemi.

KATE: Oh, okay. Like Steve Buscemi.

‐ What, you don't think I could be an actor?

‐ No, I didn't say that.

‐ All right, fine. Try me. Mo, tell me my dog died. Go ahead.

‐ What? ZEKE: Tell me my dog died.

‐ Your dog died. ‐ No, like, break the news to me.

Like it's real.

‐ Zeke, I'm really sorry to tell you this.

‐ What?

‐ Your dog is dead. ‐ Stop fuckin' lyin', man!

There's no way he's dead. Are you sure?

Are you sure?

This is insane. I was just with him yesterday.

He looked so healthy.

God! What the fuck?! ‐ Jesus, Zeke!

‐ Eh? How about that? ‐ Do me. Do me.

‐ All right, all right, all right. Here we go. All right.

Mo‐‐ Monroe‐‐

Your dog was hit by a car last night.

‐ What? ZEKE: He was killed.

‐ No. No, it's‐‐ ‐ I was driving the car.

I was shit‐faced. It was against my better judgement.

KATE: All right, okay, he's 10. He's 10, Zeke.

‐ Don't you start crying on me, bro.

Don't you start crying, 'cause then I'm gonna start crying.

‐ What the F?!

‐ Eh? That was fun! All right, you go.

Yo. I didn't do‐‐ I'm sorry. I‐‐

‐ You're sorry? Why did you fuck her to begin with?

‐ I didn't fuck her. ‐ You did fuck her!

‐ I absolutely did not. I just liked her photo.

‐ You're gonna fucking lie? You're gonna cheat on me and then‐‐

‐ She used to be fat and she lost a bunch of weight.

And it's summer and she looks good, so I liked the photo and I said, "Damn!"

‐ I just‐‐ I can't do it anymore.

ZEKE: I'm sorry! ‐ I'm done. I can't do it anymore.

‐ I'm sorry!

Come on! Come back!

Plea‐‐? Ugh. Fuck.

[motorboating sigh]

MO: Where you going?

‐ You should go back inside.

‐ Can I come with you?

‐ No, I don't think she would like that very much.

MO: Please?

‐ She broke up with me, dude. It's not, you know... Sorry.

‐ Does this mean we can't be friends anymore?

‐ Don't you have friends your own age? I mean...

‐ But you're way cooler.

‐ This is true.

All right, hop in. We can hang for like an hour.

What are you doing? Get in the front.

‐ Oh, I'm not allowed to sit in the front because of the airbag.

‐ Don't be weird.

‐ Hey, Zeke!

‐ The drive‐thru lady knows your name?

‐ Hell yeah, little homie. ‐ Sick!

[Hey Moon by John Maus playing]

I know it's been so long

Since we saw each other last

I'm sure we'll find some way

To make the time pass

Hey moon

It's just you and me tonight

Everyone else is asleep

Hey moon

If I was to fall

I won't fall so deep

Though I doubt I'm gonna

You can wake me up if you wanna

And your pale round face

‐ [music stops] ‐ Let's get the fuck outta here.

[Mo grunts]


[car honking]

[continues honking]

‐ Tonight? ‐ I didn't know.

‐ Wait. What time is it?

[Mo descending stairs]

‐ Hey. I'll see you guys later.

‐ [continues honking] ‐ Where are you two going?

‐ And why does he have to honk like that?

‐ Uh, we're just gonna go get some dinner and then watch the baseball game.

‐ Were you even gonna ask? ‐ Um, please?

‐ Why doesn't he come in to eat?

‐ Seriously, does he think we're hard of hearing?

SHERRI: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You know what, I already made dinner and I don't want it to go to waste, so...

‐ [continues honking] SHERRI: Take that. And fork.

‐ Fork. Got it. Thanks. Love you, Mom.

‐ Hey, I thought we were gonna watch the game together.

‐ Um, I mean, we never said that.

So, can I‐‐? ‐ [grunts]

‐ Okay, cool. Thanks. Bye.

[door opens, closes]

‐ It's amazing how, you know, you meet some kid‐‐ some 16‐year‐old punk‐‐ and you have no idea at the time that he's gonna be parked in front of your house every day for the rest of your goddamn life.

‐ You gotta jerk off before you go fuck a girl.

You know what I'm saying? Because if you don't, you'll come really fast and she'll laugh at you, okay?

I jerked off before I picked you up.

Always, man. Gotta always be prepared.

I don't know where the fuck we're going tonight.

I made a decision. MO: Okay.

‐ I'm gonna be a talk show host.

‐ No way! Like Jimmy Kimmel or something? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Yo, that's sick. You should do that. ‐ Yeah.

‐ You should start a podcast. ‐ Totally.

But, like, I should do that like talk show host thing, right?

‐ Yeah, definitely. ‐ You can be, like, one of my guests.

‐ Really? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Wait, seriously? ‐ Yeah, they all have weird sidekicks.

Like Andy Richter or like that Guillermo guy.

‐ Thanks, man. ‐ You're my Guillermo.

[indistinct bar chatter]

‐ A pyramid in Antarctica is weird. ‐ That's some shit.

‐ Explain that shit. ‐ It's from Alien vs. Predator, dude.

It's not real. ‐ Listen to a Joe Rogan podcast, buddy.

There's shit goin' on.

[indistinct chatter]

‐ Look at this. ‐ But I've got a tab open, so if you guys want another‐‐ ‐ Hey!

Hey, I'm sorry about our friend.

Uh, we found him in a dumpster. He's a rescue.

Sorry. ‐ [chuckles] It's okay.

Oh, don't worry, he got all of his shots though, so, he won't bite. He's chill.

‐ What about your puppy? ‐ Who, Mo?

‐ Yeah, I mean, he looks a little young to be in here.

‐ You look a little old to be in here.

Mo actually just got back from the army.

GIRL: Yeah? ZEKE: Yeah, he was there for 16 years!

‐ Let's not talk about it, yeah.

ZEKE: Anyway, he hasn't been laid in 16 years.

How crazy is that? ‐ But, hey...

...to Mo. ‐ To Mo.

‐ Welcome back, brother. ‐ Yeah, man.

‐ Hoo‐rah, right? MO: Hoo‐rah.

‐ Hey, may we all make it to heaven before the devil knows we're dead, baby!

ZEKE: Yeah! MO: Cheers.

ZEKE: Wait. What does that mean?

‐ Like, we're sinners and‐and‐and bad motherfuckers and he's coming to suck us back‐‐ he wants us.

‐ Isn't that, like, a Buzz Frontier song? ‐ Who wants us?

What did he do? What do we do?

‐ Satan, motherfucker, wants us.

[quarters clinking]

‐ In your fuckin' mouth. In your fuckin' mouth!

That's a home run. Hey, yo, Nick!

I got a home run! Yup, I got a home run.

Fuck yeah! ‐ Okay, okay. Who's gonna drink it?

‐ Uh, this motherfucker.

‐ What? What? Whoa, whoa, wait. Hold on, what's in that?

‐ Uh, what's in it? Uh, whiskey, beer, orange juice, cough syrup, and... Xanny bar.

‐ I don't know, man. I feel like he's gonna die if he drinks this shit. I'll just do it.

‐ What? No! ‐ Whoa! Hey!

‐ Fuck you! I can do it. ‐ Fuck you.

Yeah, let the kid do it. Come on.

‐ I can at least try, bro. ‐ Yeah.

NICK: All right. ‐ I can do this probably.

‐ Oh, yo, I gotta put my song on. Hold on.

‐ [exhales] ‐ Damn.

[Word Up by Cameo playing]

‐ What, are you puttin' that thing through college, man?

Let's go. Drink up. Fuck. Come on.

‐ Oh, damn.

Oh. Oh, shit.

NICK: [chuckling] Jesus. ‐ My dude.

‐ How you feel?

‐ Strong. NICK: Strong. All right.

Go ahead, strong man, hit me.

‐ Okay, yeah. You mean for real?

‐ Yeah, hit me as hard as you can. MO: Okay.

‐ Hey, yo, if he pukes on any of this shit, I'm gonna be so fucking furious, I swear to God.

Yo, fuck! ‐ [laughing]

‐ Ha ha, pussy.

[chuckles]

‐ Oh, hey, babe! ‐ Hi!

‐ What up there? ‐ [squeals, giggles]

What are you guys doing? ZEKE: Oh, Mo just drank a home run.

HOLLY: What? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ Is he okay? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Yeah. I'll be fine.

Hey, Holly‐‐

‐ He's great. ‐ [coughing, gagging]

MO: Ugh, fuck my life.

‐ You okay, man? ‐ Ugh. Huh?

‐ Yeah, I'm fantastic. Who is that?

‐ It's Stacey. What up?

‐ Hey, Stacey. I'm just like a little hungover, dude.

‐ It's Thursday.

MO: Ugh. ‐ Dope.

MO: I'm dying. ‐ [toilet flushes]

[quiet chatter]

‐ That was fucking insane. You're an animal.

‐ What?

‐ You literally spent the entire first period in the bathroom and nobody said shit.

‐ Yeah, well, if they don't notice you when you're here, they're not gonna notice when you're not.

‐ What?

‐ Uh, nothing.

‐ Listen, if I can get you cash, can you get us alcohol for Paul's rager?

‐ Paul's rager?

‐ Dude, Paul Finnlin's throwing a fucking Pimps and Hoes party at his house on Saturday.

‐ Paul the senior? How'd you get invited to that?

‐ Dude, they love me. I told him I can get him alcohol.

Can you get me alcohol? ‐ No, I'm not gonna get you alcohol so you can go drink with some seniors. No.

‐ Oh, my God. You can come with.

Have you ever even been to one of Paul's parties?

‐ No. Have you? ‐ No.

‐ Did they even say I could come?

‐ Don't worry. I'm a fucking god to these people.

I can bring whoever I want. I'll get you cash.

‐ Okay, look, I'll see what I can do, but I don't really‐‐

‐ Yes! It's so fucking on!

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir?

Excuse me, sir. ‐ Huh? What's up?

‐ Which microwave would you recommend?

‐ Well, it depends what you use it for. ‐ It's for my grandson's dorm room.

‐ [phone vibrates] ‐ Well, who's your grandson?

Oh, I'm sorry, I gotta go. Uh, the black one's cool.

‐ Well, what about the stainless‐‐ ‐ [car honking]

‐ Oh, shit! MO: Yeah! Guess who's licensed!

‐ Sick.

All right. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Jesus Christ. It's so fuckin' hot, bro.

What's up? ‐ Not much, dude.

‐ This is tight, bro. ‐ Yeah, thank you.

It's my sister's old one. ‐ Oh, I know. I've been in here.

A couple times. ‐ It's crazy. Look.

Check it out. Check my license out.

It's like I'm a real person now.

‐ "Monroe Leslie Harris." ‐ Yep.

‐ I didn't know they gave licenses to people who can't reach the pedals.

I gotta say, though, it's gonna be nice having a chauffeur.

‐ Whoa. No, no, no.

I'm not driving you around. I'm not your chauffeur.

‐ The hell you are. ‐ No!

‐ I've been driving you around since you were, like, nine.

You owe me, bro, and I have an hour left for lunch. Let's fuckin' go.

‐ Fine. Fine. Uh, play with this while I drive.

‐ He said we can keep the change?

‐ He didn't really say, so, I mean, I guess so.

‐ All right.

You know I invented that Pimps and Hoes party, right?

‐ You've mentioned it a few times, yeah.

‐ Well, do people talk about it? Like that I created it?

‐ Nah, not really. But I know.

‐ Hey, when were you gonna tell me that your sister moved in with her new hot‐ass boyfriend.

‐ How'd you find out? ‐ Does it matter?

‐ I don't know, you guys broke up so long ago, I didn't think you'd care.

‐ I don't. I don't care. I just‐‐ I like to be informed.

Don't you like to be informed? It's nice to be informed.

Oh, this looks sick! Let's get this.

‐ Yo, what are you doing?

‐ Don't worry. We're not gonna need all of it. Relax.

♪ funky disco music plays ♪


♪ I'm not going to be with anybody ♪

♪ That's not going to be with me for real ♪

♪ I'm not going to be with anybody ♪

♪ That's not going to be with me for real ♪

[on headphones] ♪ I'm not going to love anybody ♪

♪ That's not going to love me for real ♪

♪ I'm not going to love anybody ♪

♪ That's not going to love me for real ♪

PLAYER: You suck.

‐ Okay, so my mom has this really dope fur coat, and I feel like it'd be a really good idea if I wore it.

‐ Yo, are you guys talking about Paul's Pimps and Hoes party?

‐ Huh? What? No.

Just a senior thing. Super low‐key.

‐ Yeah, I mean, Stacey invited me, so...

‐ Who‐‐ who's Stacey?

‐ You know, he's got big chapped lips, kinda looks like he's confused all the time, wears really douchey clothes.

‐ Fire crotch.

‐ Yeah, he said if brought alcohol, I could come.

So, I'll see you guys there?

‐ Stacey's going rogue.

‐ Ahh! ‐ [chuckling]

‐ Why do you wanna quit the baseball team? You're so good!

‐ I used to be so good when I was 11 and you were the pitcher.

But this is high school varsity, and these kids are massive.

‐ Did you even ask if it's all right to stop playing?

It's not too late in the year? ‐ No. We're not having this discussion.

No. You are not a quitter.

And what are you gonna do after school?

You know, just sit around at Zeke's doing God knows what? No.

And you're not too small. I mean, look at Jose Altuve, you know?

You just need to practice more.

Hey, hey, do you wanna go work on your swing?

We can‐‐ we can do it right now. We can do it right now.

‐ That is such a great idea! ‐ Yeah, I mean...

Well, I was, uh‐‐ I was supposed to go to Zeke's tonight, so...

But he's, he's gonna be helping me with my homework.

[both scoffing, chuckling]

MO: What? Why are you laughing?

‐ You don't actually think we believe that, do you, Mo?

‐ Yeah, I mean, I can help you with your homework.

I do have two degrees, which is two more than Zeke.

‐ Yeah, but Zeke's had most of these classes before, so...

‐ All right, be back by 10:00. ‐ Thank you.

REUBEN: And be careful in that car. ‐ I will.

‐ All it takes is 10 seconds of stupid to ruin your whole life.

‐ What are you talking about, bro? Your parents love me!

‐ No, you know how my dad gets. He just freaks out about stuff.

Oh, hey, don't put too much water in that.

They're gonna notice if they're, like, drinking straight Evian.

‐ Yeah, but it don't matter. Nobody's gonna say anything.

Nobody wants to be the dude who don't feel it.

‐ So, you've never seen this game before? NICK: This is awful taxiing.

JORDAN: Come on! Come on, time's about to run out!

‐ I'm trying!

‐ I'm gonna get us to Pizza Hut. Move.

‐ Yo, let her learn!

ZEKE: Holly, do you believe this shit?

NICK: Watch me work. JORDAN: Come on, come on, come on.

‐ He says his parents don't like me.

‐ That's absolutely ridiculous. ‐ Mmm, 'scuse me.

‐ What parents wouldn't want their teenage son hangin' out here?

‐ What? I don't ask him to hang out. He just comes over.

HOLLY: Uh‐huh. ‐ Fuck you. I'll leave right now.

‐ Don't. Please.

Dude.

‐ What? ‐ Stop being creepy. You're staring.

‐ I wasn't staring, dude. What are you talking about?

‐ She's not a piece of meat.

‐ My gosh, will you leave him alone?

Here. ‐ I'm good.

‐ Oh, he don't smoke.

‐ What? Why?

Well, do your friends smoke?

‐ Hello! ‐ No, your high school friends.

‐ I‐‐ I don't really have any.

I mean, I like hanging out with these guys more.

‐ No, it was actually a good gig, bro.

'Cause you didn't actually work for the zoo.

We worked for, like, an independent thing.

So, it was like I was actually a professional photographer.

‐ You're missing out on some of the best memories you'll ever have.

‐ No, you're not. ‐ Yes, he is.

Zeke still wishes he was back in high school.

‐ That's not true at all.

‐ It's okay, I do too. I'll admit it.

‐ Well, that's 'cause you guys were, like, legends.

‐ That's true. ‐ We were.

‐ Yo, I got an idea. You know what you should do?

You should sell my pot at your party. We'll make mad money.

‐ What? No. I don't‐‐ no.

‐ Why not? You just show up with a bunch of drugs.

You'll be the drug guy at the party.

‐ No, no, no, I'm good. No, thank you.

‐ Back me up. ‐ I'm not touching this.

‐ Hold on. MO: No, dude, I just...

I seriously hate him sometimes.

‐ No, you don't. You love him.

You guys are like an old married couple. It's cute.

‐ Yeah, well, he only treats me like this to impress you.

ZEKE: Alrighty then.

So, I got these for, like, 30 a pop.

So, I say you sell them for, like, a hundred.

And then we'll split it down the middle.

‐ What, you think I'm just gonna walk into a party, and everyone's gonna wanna buy pot from me?

‐ Call me crazy.

[bass thumping in house]

‐ Am I‐‐? ‐ Downstairs.

‐ Okay.

♪ hip‐hop music plays ♪

‐ Yo, dude, where the fuck you been?

‐ I got lost, I don't know.

‐ Who's ready to party?!

[indistinct party chatter]

Isn't this the best?

‐ Yeah, mm‐hmm. Yeah, this is cool.

‐ Bro... [whispering] We made it!

‐ Yeah. Okay. ‐ See that girl over there?

She's so fuckin' hot!

‐ Uh, you mean your sister?

‐ Oh. Fuck.

‐ What the fuck are you doing here? ‐ Hey, Lisa.

Well, Josh said if I bring alcohol, I could come.

‐ Where did you get‐‐?

Do Mom and Dad know you're here?

‐ Please don't be a bitch. ‐ Is that my hat?

‐ Look, you never wear this.

This has been in your closet for‐‐ ‐ I'm texting Mom.

‐ She‐‐ she's bluffing. We good. We good.

[chuckles nervously]

‐ Hey, look, so Stace‐‐ I, um...

I brought some weed. ‐ What?

‐ I mean, if you're not interested‐‐ ‐ What? I can't hear you.

‐ I brought marijuana.

‐ Bro, you're my goddamn hero, do you understand?

‐ How much you want for all of these?

‐ Um, I don't know, maybe like 200?

Does that sound like‐‐? ‐ You are the fucking man!

‐ Yeah? ‐ Do you take Venmo?

‐ Sure. Okay. STACEY: See? What did I tell you?

He's one of us! He's a 10!

PARTY‐GOER: I gotta text Danny to get in here.

‐ Yeah, sweet. So, if you Venmo me, that's perfect.

‐ You're not gonna hang and smoke with us?

‐ What? No, I'm blazed, bro.

I smoked before, so... ‐ He's a legend. Holy shit.

PARTY‐GOER: True dat. STACEY: That's my fucking boy, friend.

‐ Yo. Next one.

[indistinct chatting]

‐ Hey, sorry about him.

‐ What? ‐ Excuse me?

‐ Yeah, I just found him out back in the dumpster. He's a rescue.

‐ Bro, are you fuckin' serious?

‐ You should rub his belly. He likes that.

Just 'cause, like, you're a dog, so I was making‐‐

‐ You little piece of shit!

PARTY‐GOER: Chad, Chad. ‐ What the fuck, man?!

‐ Don't fuck with Mo. Mo is crucial.

You need a smoke? Come on, let's smoke.

CHAD: But he called me a‐‐ JOSH: Let's smoke.

‐ I don't think he got your joke.

‐ Yeah, no, I think‐‐ I think I fucked up the punchline.

‐ I didn't know you were friends with any of these people.

‐ Well, I'm not really. ‐ Oh.

‐ Yeah, but, I mean, most of my friends are just older.

‐ Like your parents? ‐ [chuckles] Funny. No, um...

Well, my best friend is Zeke Presanti. Do you know him?

He used to go to our school. He was a big deal back in the day.

But, yeah, he sort of, like, invented these parties.

‐ He invented hanging out in basements?

‐ Yeah, well, I think so. ‐ [chuckles]

‐ So, how'd you get invited? I mean, you're not a senior.

‐ Oh, I don't think those rules apply to girls.

‐ Oh, gotcha.

‐ Who's Reuben? ‐ Oh, Reuben? He's just, um...

Just a pimp that I know. Let me borrow his robe.

‐ Reuben is your dad. ‐ Reuben is my dad, you're right.

[chuckling]

‐ I think they honestly just got bored of drinking in the same shitty basement every weekend, so they gave each party a theme.

I mean, they're not always pimps, but the girls are always hoes.

‐ So, what kind of hoe are you supposed to be?

‐ What did you just fucking call me?

‐ Wait. No, no. I didn't mean it like that.

I just meant because, you know... ‐ I'm kidding.

I mean, this is the only costume I had, and Hermione was the ultimate pimp.

[panting]

‐ Whew. Uh. ‐ What is that shark?

‐ Oh, I just saw Jaws. ‐ You just saw it?

‐ Yeah, it's great! Have you seen it?

‐ [chuckling] Yes. ‐ It's so good.

‐ You're so ridiculous.

‐ Look, I know you're all into your new hot boyfriend, but do you have to shove him in my face and, like, the whole internet's face?

Like, we get it. ‐ I'm not shoving him down your face.

I'm living my life. Also, by the way, you should try it.

‐ [scoffs] What do you think I'm doing?

‐ You're just getting tattoos. I don't know.

‐ Is this your belt? ‐ No, that's not my belt.

Fuck, this was a mistake.

‐ What's wrong? What?

‐ Because I'm 23, I'm taking the LSAT in less than a month, and I'm fucking my childhood boyfriend... ‐ Childhood?

‐ ...in the parking lot of a Raymour & Flanigan.

‐ Childhood? We are children. What are you talking about?

‐ I'm not, actually. I'm dating an adult man.

‐ Oh, excuse me. "I'm dating an adult man."

Well, you wanted to do this.

‐ I know I wanted to do this. That's not the point.

It's different this time. I don't think we should do it again.

‐ All right. Sure.

‐ Okay. ‐ Well, whatever you want.

‐ I'm gonna go. ‐ Okay. All right.

[car door opens]

‐ I need you to walk me to my car. It's really dark and sketchy out there.

‐ Sure.

Pea shoots? What the fuck are pea shoots? ‐ I don't know.

Dude, selling to those kids was so much easier than I thought.

Like, they just ate it up.

‐ Wow, are you telling me that 17‐year‐olds wanted drugs?

Hey, sir, do you know where the pea shoots are?

Fuckin' Holly.

‐ No, it was just crazy 'cause like I didn't think they'd wanna pay that much.

‐ Dude, kids your age don't know how much drugs cost.

It's hilarious, you know?

And the rich ones don't care. They just want to get high.

Dude, where the fuck are the pea shoots? ‐ Dude, just ask someone.

‐ I just did. ‐ I know, but ask someone that works here.

‐ Yo, bro, do you have pea shoots?

‐ Pea shoots?

Is that like a vegetable?

‐ I don't know, man. My girlfriend just gave me this whole list of shit to get.

‐ Do you know where the pea shoots is at?

‐ Nah, man. ‐ Go fucking look for 'em, man.

‐ Yo, did you just call her your girlfriend?

‐ I did. ‐ No way!

‐ Yeah. ‐ That was fast.

‐ No, it's time for, like, an adult relationship, you know?

Like, childhood's been over. You know what I'm saying?

‐ Who's your girlfriend? Is she bad?

CLERK: I don't think we got any pea shoots, boss.

‐ Sophie was at the party, too.

‐ Dude, one thing at a time, all right?

‐ She looked hot. ‐ Huh? Who?

‐ I told you about Sophie. ‐ Yeah.

‐ She's hot. ‐ Yeah.

‐ She was at the party. ‐ Sick.

‐ I don't think we got any pea shoots, boss.

‐ All right, well, do you have, like, an equivalent?

Or should I just get regular peas?

‐ Don't ask me. Just get the next thing on the list.

‐ Fish sauce? SUPERVISOR: Fish sauce?

What, you mean, like, cocktail sauce? Like, fuckin' shrimp dip?

‐ Yo, what the fuck is she cooking?

[Holly laughing]

‐ This was great, Holly. ‐ Thanks.

‐ Yeah, she's like the best cook in the world.

‐ Yeah, even though you didn't get me anything I asked for.

‐ 'Cause everything you asked for was fuckin' stupid.

‐ [chuckles] ‐ He's only saying that to impress you.

‐ It's working. ‐ Yo, Mo likes a girl.

‐ Who? ‐ Uh, her name's Sophie.

She goes to my school. You might know her, actually.

She was a freshman when you were a senior.

‐ Sophie Miller? Sophie Pierre? Sophie Huebscher?

‐ No. Sophie Willits.

‐ Sam Willits' little sister? ZEKE: What the fuck?

How do you know everyone in the yearbook?

‐ Does she like you back? ‐ Honestly? No clue.

I mean, she's got this super‐sarcastic sense of humor, which makes it really hard to tell when she's being serious, but, I don't know, I kinda like it.

‐ Ah, dude, she likes you. What's not to like?

‐ You think so? ‐ Look, this is how you get her. Ready?

‐ Please.

‐ All you have to do is give her tons of attention.

Call her a lot, you know?

Be like, "Hey, what's up? It's Mo." You know, "How are you?"

And she'll be like, "Oh, hi."

‐ Call her, not text her? ‐ Mm‐hmm. Pay attention to what she likes.

Like what drinks she likes at Starbucks.

That's really cut if you, like, get her‐‐ walk her to school and be like, "I got you a Frappe." You know?

And then just as you start getting close, that's when you slowly start to back away and you go fuckin' ghost.

‐ Very cool. ‐ Yeah, and then she'll go nuts.

She'll be like, "What the fuck?! I thought Mo liked me!

Why isn't he liking my photos? Am I ugly? Did I do something wrong?"

And that's when you got her. That's when you swoop in like a hawk.

‐ Sex? ‐ Yes.

‐ Oh, my God. You guys are gross.

‐ What? Am I wrong?

‐ No, you're right. And your advice will definitely work.

But you just use these tricks because you're a dick.

Maybe Mo can just be himself, and girls will like him because he's such a great guy.

‐ Yeah, you're right.

‐ You know, Mo is way better looking than you.

Hot guys don't need to play those kind of games.

‐ Wow. In my own house.

‐ What do you mean you already ate?

‐ Well, Zeke's girlfriend actually made me dinner.

It was pretty good.

‐ Oh, perfect! Maybe Zeke's girlfriend can do your laundry and pay for your school and dri‐‐

[phone ringing]

‐ Hello?

Hello?

‐ Hey. Sophie?

Uh, hey. It's uh‐‐ It's Mo.

Monroe. Harris.

‐ Yeah. What's up?

‐ Nothing much. Uh, you?

‐ Did you just call me to say hi?

‐ Yeah, is that‐‐? That's weird, isn't it?

‐ Yeah.

‐ Well, uh, what are‐‐ what are you doin'?

Just watching The Wire.

‐ Nice. ‐ Yep.

You know, you're, like, the first person since eighth grade to call just to say hi.

‐ Oh, yeah?

Well, who's the one with no friends now?

‐ I have friends. They just text me like normal people.

‐ Yeah, that makes way more sense.

‐ There are fewer awkward silences.

[Mo chuckles]

‐ So, what are you doin'? ‐ You already asked me that.

‐ Right, um... You know, can, um, can I call you later?

‐ Maybe you can‐‐ ‐ Or text. Or I'll text you.

‐ I'm messing with you. You can call me.

MO: Right, no, yeah, no.

[student chatter]

‐ Hey, So‐‐ ‐ Mo, my man!

‐ Hey, Stacey, what's up?

‐ How'd you like that party the other night?

‐ It was fun. ‐ Yeah, it was fucking dope, dude.

It was, like, a 10. ‐ Yeah. Okay.

‐ Yeah, we're doin' it again.

This weekend. Paul's house. Bring the party supplies.

‐ Wait. Paul's parents are letting him do that again?

‐ Paul's parents don't give a fuck about anything.

It's very dark.

Just bring that sweet, sweet drink and that loud‐ass dank.

You know what I'm saying? ‐ [chuckles]

Dude, that was sort of, like, a one‐time thing. I'm not like a‐‐

‐ Listen, man. I need this, all right?

If I don't get my penis touched once in my life, I'll kill myself.

‐ I thought you said Lauren touched your penis that one time.

‐ That was a lie.

‐ Okay, yeah. I'll talk to my guy, all right?

Hey, Sophie! Sophie!

Uh, you like coffee?

‐ Yeah, bro, I can only get, like, two ounces with my medical card.

Nick, you got a card? ‐ Yo, man, can I swing?

‐ Hey, honest opinion‐‐ The kid's gonna ripped off. You should go with him to the party.

‐ I ain't goin' to the party. ‐ Why not?

‐ Seriously, man, can I bat?

‐ I can't go to the party, because Mo's a minor.

So, if Mo gets in trouble, he'll just get in trouble like those kids get in trouble.

You know, he'll have to, like, erase a blackboard or go to detention. Me? I'll do hard time!

I'm not ready for that. I can't be the face of this operation.

‐ Well, I don't wanna be the face of this operation, either.

‐ Yo, hit. ‐ Oh, come on!

‐ Step up, kid.

ZEKE: What the fuck was that?

MO: That one didn't feel good. ‐ Do you listen?

Remember what I told you? ‐ No.

‐ You gotta use your height to your advantage.

You gotta get low, so there's no strike zone.

You'll walk every time.

TONY: He's in a fucking cage, man. He can't strike out.

‐ This feels weird. I never saw you do this.

‐ 'Cause I was good.

‐ Okay, if you're so good, why'd you leave the team?

‐ 'Cause it‐‐ it was very political.

MO: Oh, hey, can you take the next right? Take a right up there.

ZEKE: Why? All right, all right. Where are we going?

‐ Uh, I just have to stop by my sister's new place and pick up a box that she wants me to store for her.

‐ Huh? Fuck no! What?

‐ What? Are you‐‐? Why are you freaking out?

‐ I can't just show up to your sister's house unannounced.

I'd look insane.

‐ You're not showing up unannounced. You're with me.

‐ It's fucking weird, dude. Does she know I'm coming?

‐ No, but I didn't talk to her, okay? My mom did.

‐ This sucks, bro. You suck.

Dude, is her stupid‐ass boyfriend gonna be there?

[laughing]

What are you laughing at. ‐ I don't know.

It just‐‐ it brings me a lot of joy to see you this flustered.

Never seen you like this.

‐ You're mean.

All right, I'm gonna wait in the car.

MO: [scoffs] Fine.

‐ I'm not gonna wait in the car like an asshole.

Wait up.

‐ Monroe, my man! ‐ What's up, Doug? How you doin'?

‐ What's up, buddy?

Zeke! How's it goin', buddy? Hey!

Hey, sorry about the boxes. We're still moving in.

You guys were at the batting cages?

ZEKE: Uh‐huh. MO: Yeah.

‐ Man, you should've told me. I used to love that spot as a kid.

‐ [chuckles] We're the same age.

‐ Momo, thank you!

You didn't say you were bringing your babysitter.

‐ Yeah, well, it is a full‐time job, so‐‐

‐ You guys want something to drink? ‐ No.

‐ Sure. Yeah. ‐ Okay.

Don't you have homework or something? ‐ Yeah, don't you?

'Cause then Mom and Dad are gonna be mad at me, and I don't want them to do that. ‐ Come on, stick around for one.

Beer for the big guy, Coke for the little guy.

‐ Oh, for sure. ‐ Cheers, guys.

‐ Enjoy your Coke. Really nice place, guys.

Fuck.

DOUG: You like it? ‐ Hmm?

‐ It's actually one of my favorite artists working right now.

‐ Oh, that. The painting. Yes.

DOUG: Yeah, all of his stuff sort of makes fun of the over‐commercialization of the art market.

It's fascinating stuff.

‐ Yeah, bro, it's‐‐ It's mad orange.

‐ [chuckles] Yeah. ‐ Yeah.

We've actually gotten super into collecting recently.

‐ Oh, have you? Oh, that's nice.

‐ And a guy at my firm said it'd be a really good investment, so...

Kinda just been diving in head‐first.

Oh, let me show you this other thing I bought.

‐ Ah, that's all right, man.

DOUG: No, come on. You're gonna love it. ‐ Nah, I'm all right.

DOUG: Come on, it's so good. ‐ All right, fuck it.

DOUG: We'll be a couple minutes. ‐ Okay.

Why did you bring him?

‐ [chuckles] What?

‐ You should, like, be making friends your own age.

‐ You sound just like Dad.

‐ No, I'm being serious.

‐ I went to a house party last week. ‐ That's amazing!

See, that's what you should be doing.

Not, like, driving around with Zeke all day.

‐ I like hanging out with Zeke.

‐ I'm sure you do. I liked hanging out with Zeke, too, but it stops being fun really fast. Trust me.

ZEKE: Yo, that dude's a fucking tool.

MO: I kinda like him.

So, I've been thinking about this whole drug thing.

‐ Yeah? ‐ And it was fun to do it that one time, but I don't want to be the party supplier guy.

You know what I mean? It just kinda like feels sketchy.

‐ No, no, you're trippin'. It's not the same thing.

You're not a drug dealer. ‐ But I mean, like‐‐

‐ You're not! You're just a guy that sells weed and booze to his friends.

They'd find it anyway.

‐ Yeah, but I feel like it's gonna become this whole thing.

‐ It won't.

MO: See you, buddy.

‐ Hey, guys. How was your night?

‐ Hey, uh, it was good. What, uh, what are you doing?

‐ Mom said you went to the batting cages. I would've driven you.

‐ Yeah, no, sorry. We were just, uh, by.

It wasn't, like, a thing.

‐ Go get ready for bed.

Hey, Zeke, can you hang on a second? ‐ Okay.

What's up?

‐ Hey! How's it goin', bud?

‐ Uh, good, good. But I should get going, so...

‐ Oh, no, no, no. No, no.

Look, Zeke, I actually like you. ‐ Okay.

‐ And I know that Eddie Haskell shit works wonders for Sherri.

[chuckles] ‐ I don't know who that is.

‐ But not me.

I work in advertising, so...

Mo looks up to you.

You know, he's never had an older brother, and he's always seen you that way.

‐ Yeah, yeah. I totally get it. I totally get it.

Well, I should be going, so...

[starts engine]

‐ Okay, look, Zeke, I'm not your dad, you know, but, just, just, you know, you and your friends, forget that he is 16.

‐ What's this? ‐ That's for taking care of Mo.

‐ Oh, no, I like hanging out with Mo, man.

It's not a job. You don't gotta pay me.

‐ That's why I'm giving you this.

Because it is a job.

You know, if he starts smoking dope or drinking then... you're not doing your job.

‐ Well, I think Mo's a really great kid.

‐ I do too.

‐ So, can I have a raise?

Mr.‐‐ Mr. Harris? Can I‐‐ can I have a raise?

Mr. Harris?

16 year‐old Bitch

Daytrip took it to ten

I got hoes calling

A young nigga phone

Where's Ali with the motherfucking dope?

I be ballin' like a mo'fuckin' pro

I be ballin' like my nigga Mo

Sheck Wes, I ain't a mo'fuckin' joke

Steph Wes stay with the fuckin' pole

‐ Mo! There you are! ‐ You know my name?

‐ Question. ‐ What's up?

‐ Is there any way you could score me some molly?

You obviously have some insane hook‐up.

‐ Um, I mean, I could‐‐ ‐ No, no, no. Trust me.

Have you ever had sex on molly?

‐ [stammering] Well, um, yeah, I mean, all the time, yeah.

‐ It would be very fucking cool of you.

‐ That's Tylenol, and let's see what we got here.

Oh, these are Xannies. These'll work.

I don't know what the fuck that is.

Uh, this is Propecia. You'll find out what that is soon enough.

Uh...

Mm‐hmm.

Sick. Molly. All right, cool.

You can't get anything less than‐‐

‐ Thirty for your molly. ‐ Fuck, yeah.

‐ That cures your ache, cures your ache.

‐ So, like, what is your, like, best weed?

‐ "My best weed?" What? Who invited this guy?

[all laughing]

No, I'm kidding. I love you, sweetheart.

‐ Is this gonna get me fucked up?

‐ [chuckles] What the fuck do you think?

[all laughing]

Yo, what do you think about this jacket for my date with Sophie? You like it?

‐ Yeah, man, I mean, we got money now. Go for it.

‐ Yeah. Yeah, you know what? Yeah. I like it.

I think it sort of looks like a ninja coat, you know?

‐ Hey. Hey! Excuse me?

Do you have a ninja coat in, like, a child's size?

Dude, you should bring her over tonight to the crib, you know?

See her with your boys, you in your element.

‐ I'll make you look really good. ‐ You think?

‐ Fuck yeah. You know that.

‐ Yeah, maybe I will. That sounds like a good idea.

ZEKE: Cool.

‐ As long as it doesn't turn into the Zeke Show.

‐ Zeke Show? ‐ Yeah, Zeke Show.

‐ What do you mean Zeke Show? What's a Zeke Show?

‐ Do the thing you do were you're like, "Ah, look at me!"

‐ Bro, you wouldn't even be with this chick if it wasn't for me.

Relax.

‐ Dude, do you think I should do something different with my hair?

‐ Guess what I did the other day! ‐ What?

‐ I quit my job!

‐ You quit? ZEKE: Yeah! Isn't that awesome?

‐ Uh, okay. Yeah, why?

‐ I don't know, I figured things are going so well with, you know, me and you.

I figured, why...

Why work?

‐ Sure. I guess.

‐ Plus, your dad even gave me, like, 50 bucks.

‐ Why? Wait, really? ‐ Yeah.

What, do you think I like hanging out with you?

This is a job, okay?

And if you're out smoking dope and drinking, then I'm not doing my job.

‐ [chuckles] So is this, like, your move with girls?

‐ My move with girls? What? I don't‐‐ I don't have‐‐

‐ Yeah. Take them to sushi?

‐ No, this is, this is my very first time doing this.

‐ You've never been on a date? ‐ No, I just...

Like, I mean, this is the first time I've brought a girl here.

‐ Have you been on a date, though?

‐ [chuckles] No.

Have you?

‐ No. I mean, not really.

Not, like, an adult date like this.

‐ So, um, you doing anything after this?

‐ I mean, you asked me out on this date. I mean...

‐ I was just thinking, you know, maybe we could go over to my friend's house.

‐ What do you do at your friend's house?

‐ Um, anything really.

It's like the chillest place on Earth you can go.

And, like, there's just all these older dudes, like, smoking weed and drinking and stuff, playing video games.

It's sick.

‐ Doesn't sound sick.

‐ Bro, I swear, every time we order this, it's, like, a different meat.

‐ Everything's gross, man. We live here.

‐ I think this is cat. ‐ I believe that.

‐ Jesus, dude, you gotta fix the fucking AC, man.

‐ Why don't you take your fucking sweater off?

‐ No, it's dope.

‐ Hey, guys. We interrupting something?

‐ Hey! ‐ Ah, new friend. Hi.

‐ Hey, be nice. ‐ So, this is your secret clubhouse.

‐ Yeah, I hope he blindfolded you before he came here, 'cause we can't let this location out.

‐ That's fuckin' creepy.

‐ I was kidding.

‐ Hey, Momo, come here, doggy. ‐ Yo, what's up?

‐ Let me talk to you, man. ‐ Thank you.

‐ You know I'm the last one to judge you, right?

‐ Yeah, of course.

‐ Okay, well, as your boy, I gotta tell you, you're acting real silly right now, all right?

That chick is, like, 16 years old.

Shame on you.

‐ Nick, I'm 16. ‐ Exactly... What?

‐ Why are we doin' this, man? ‐ Come on, man! It's for Mo!

‐ Here, for maximum grip, get that thumb.

‐ [chuckling] Okay. ‐ All right, you're set. Cheers.

‐ Dope, dude, thank you.

‐ Do me. ‐ [sighs]

♪ rap music playing ♪

‐ Here you go. ‐ Really?

‐ Drink responsibly, okay?

‐ If I can just get it over the fucking brim, then...

Shit.

‐ So, Mr. Rispoli gave us a pop quiz out of nowhere, and I was like, "What the fuck?"

So, Tiffany, my friend‐‐ she's kind of a whore‐‐ she gave me, like, three Adderall and I was...

‐ Sophie's cute. ‐ Right?

‐ Yeah. ‐ Well, thank you.

‐ And I still got an 89, so, yeah.

Wait, are you the DJ? Play Meghan Trainor!

[scoffs]

‐ Mo, come on, let's dance. ‐ Okay, yeah, let's dance.

‐ [phone vibrating] ‐ Wait, Mo. Your phone.

‐ What? No, that's not mine. That's Zeke's.

[indistinct chatter]

‐ Hey, Holls, tonight's been real eye‐opening for me.

You know what I'm sayin'?

This motherfucker's 16 years old. Been kickin' it with this dude for a year.

Fuck, man, I'm pushing 30. I don't even have a car.

[bottles clanging]

‐ Yo, you pissed yourself! ‐ Nah, it's beer, B, it's beer!

‐ Nah, it's cool, bro. Me too.

[both laughing]

‐ Finish! Finish!

ZEKE: Oh, shit! She's done!

[all cheering]

ALL: Yeah!

SOPHIE: I mean, you don't have to wait for me.

I mean, it's two minutes away.

MO: Nah, it's cool. Don't worry about it. ‐ Okay. [chuckles]

It's cute the way that you look at them.

‐ Cute? Wait, who? Them? ‐ Yeah, you love them!

‐ I don't love them. Zeke's like he's my older brother, okay?

‐ You guys are like Batman and Robin. ‐ Well, sort of.

It's more like Batman and Batman's fucked‐up older friend.

[both laughing]

[phone vibrating]

‐ Well... that was weird but fun. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Uh, I guess I'll see you at school?

‐ Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'll see you at school.

‐ Okay. Bye. ‐ See ya.

[tattoo gun buzzing]

‐ Hey, how you spell Zeke again? ‐ Oh, it don't matter, man.

‐ Oh, my God, guys! That was amazing!

‐ You just fucked that girl?

‐ What? No! I was out there for, like, three minutes.

No, but, like, we kissed and stuff.

NICK: Oh, thank God.

‐ What? Guys, it was sick! There was lots of tongue and everything!

She brushed up against my penis! It was like...

‐ [Nick laughing] ‐ Tongue Daddy.

‐ Tongue Daddy! ‐ Aaaaaahhhhh!

JORDAN: Long live The Tongue Daddy! ‐ Yo‐‐ Yo, I think it's time.

[tattoo gun buzzing]

[Paradise by Jeremih playing]

Woke up at home off that molly

Bad bitch red bone on my body

Smelling like Patron in mi casa ♪

That was one hell of a party

Wake n bake, then I'm right in it

Don't ask in the morning, I just hit it

Then she gon' skate like she Tony Hawk

And man I'm right back on my sinning

Oh I knew life would be all right

But who could've known it'd be this good? ZEKE: This is dope.

‐ This one? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Yeah, um...

Yeah, it sort of just looks like a bunch of scribbles and dicks on a blank canvas.

‐ Yeah.

When you get older, you realize that's kinda all life is.

It's just a bunch of scribbles and dicks and violence all in a void.

‐ [chuckling] There's more to life than, like, scribbles and dicks.

‐ No, there isn't.

Hey! Do you work here?

‐ Yes. MO: What are you doing?

‐ Trying to prove to your sister that I'm not a loser.

How much for that? ‐ Excuse me?

‐ I would‐‐ I would like to purchase this item.

‐ You can't.

‐ Oh, uh, I think I can.

‐ Sir, this is a museum. That's literally not how this works.

‐ Well, how does this work? ‐ Yeah, how does this work?

‐ There are poster prints in the gift shop.

‐ No pickles?

‐ Yeah, that's mine.

‐ You know...

Holly's pissed at me.

‐ Oh. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Well, that sucks. Are you guys gonna break up?

‐ I don't know.

‐ What, is she mad 'cause of all the‐‐? ‐ No, she's not mad at that.

No, she's just...

Girls are fucking weird, bro.

Like, they get mad at you for shit you don't even know what you did.

They're like, "I'm mad at you."

And you're like, "Well, why? Everything's great!"

‐ What did you do that you didn't know you were doing that got her all mad?

‐ Don't worry about it.

‐ All right. ‐ How's your girl?

‐ I mean, good, I think. You know?

I don't know if I can call her my girl yet, but...

‐ Yeah, you should probably stop giving her attention now.

I think it's time.

‐ Yeah, but we kissed. ‐ 'Cause of me. You kissed 'cause of me.

‐ I don't know if you can say it was all you.

‐ It was all me! ‐ I mean, I was the one that‐‐

‐ Trust me. ‐ [laughing] Yo!

‐ What the fuck, Ricky?! Wow! RICKY: Z‐Money!

‐ What up, Ricky? ‐ It's so good to see you!

‐ Yeah! ‐ How long has it been?

‐ Too fucking long! ‐ Too fucking long is right!

I love it!

Oh, my God, dude! Is this your son?

‐ What? No, this is Mo. Mo, this is Ricky. Yeah.

‐ Oh, uh, sick. What are you gents gettin' into?

‐ Nothin', man, just burgers. What are you doing?

‐ Ah, that's not really important.

Your timing, good as usual. ‐ Holy...

RICKY: You wanna turn up a little bit?

For old times' sake? ‐ Uh... yeah. Yeah, get in the back.

‐ I got a family dinner tonight. ZEKE: Relax.

He's a legend. You're gonna love him, dude. It's Ricky!

RICKY: Very chill art in the back!

‐ Dude, the last time I saw you was so long‐‐ I'm trying to‐‐ You were on your way to‐‐ ‐ Rehab.

‐ Yeah, that's right! And I almost went!

Dark times. RICKY: That's right, dude!

Yo, are you still living with that sweet grandmother of yours?

‐ Oh, no, man. She actually‐‐ she passed.

RICKY: Oh. ZEKE: Yeah, good lady.

‐ Oh. Dude, fuck. I am sorry, man.

‐ Oh, it's all good. I still live at her crib, though, so...

‐ Yo, roll up the windows, man. ‐ Fuck yeah, dude.

Oh, yeah, I can't.

RICKY: What? ‐ Uh, we can't 'cause Mo, the kid.

He doesn't‐‐

‐ Dude, when was the last time we were in the box together?

Don't be a pussy about this. Roll up the windows.

‐ [mouthing] I'm sorry.

Fuck yeah, dude! I'm sorry.

RICKY: Yeah, relax, little fella. It'll put hair on your chest.

Here, hit that. And you know what I wanna hear.

It's just like old times. You know what I wanna hear.

‐ Fuck yeah.

RICKY: Yo! And he has it!

Up in Here by DMX plays ♪

‐ This was the song, right? ZEKE: Hell yeah!

‐ [singing along] ♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my mind ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my cool ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ If I gotsta bring it to you cowards then it's gonna be quick, aight ♪

♪ All your mens up in the jail before, suck my dick ♪

[indistinct chatter within]

‐ Oh, fuck.

KATE: Hey! DOUG: Little man!

‐ Come on in! Look who's here!

‐ Oh, no. GRANDMA: Hi, Monroe.

GRANDPA: Hey, Momo. ‐ Hi, Pop.

GRANDMA: Look how big you're getting. REUBEN: Well, come on, sit down.

‐ Okay.

[bench scraping floor]

[floor scraping continues]

‐ Oh, Jesus. Charcuteries.

‐ Uh, hey, Monroe, can I talk to you for a second?

How high are you right now?

‐ Not, like, at all. ‐ Oh, you little asshole.

‐ What are we gonna do? ‐ Just go take a shower.

‐ Can we tell your parents he just doesn't feel well?

‐ We can't tell them he's too stoned, can we?

‐ Guys‐‐ You're wrong. SHERRI: About what?

‐ Everything. All of it.

‐ This is exactly what I was talking about.

Ten seconds of stupid.

‐ I really think there's been, like, a misunderstanding.

‐ Sweetheart, just‐‐ just stop talking.

REUBEN: [whispering] Now. Shower. Go.

‐ Come downstairs, do not say a word to your grandparents, and we'll talk about this after dinner. ‐ Okay.

‐ What the fuck?!

‐ It's a pen! It's a pen, I swear!

‐ No, no, you just got out of the shower. No, put your hand down.

Put it down. Put it down. Put down. Now! Put it...

"Tongue Daddy"?

‐ Oh, please don't.

‐ You permanently inked "Tongue Daddy" to your skin?

‐ Oh, my God. ‐ What does that even mean?

‐ It's fine! It's an inside joke!

‐ So, why did you put it on the outside of your fuckin' body?

‐ 'Cause I'm an idiot! ‐ Oh, you are really on a roll tonight!

‐ What are you guys yelling about? We could hear you downstairs.

‐ Go head, go ahead. Show her what you did, Tongue Daddy.

‐ Please don't make me. ‐ Enjoy not being buried with the rest of us!

‐ Grounded?! ‐ You have no idea.

It's like a war zone over here. My dad won't even speak to me.

‐ "Tongue Daddy" is not even that bad, dude. You'll be fine.

I have Hillary Clinton on my leg. For real.

‐ I'm just such an idiot! ‐ Ah, I feel you, man.

I'm having a pretty crazy day myself. You won't believe this shit.

‐ What? ‐ I bought a foot massager, dude.

It's sick! I got it at the mall.

It was used, but it's cool. ‐ Dude, I'm in a lot of trouble.

Can we focus, please? ‐ Well, are you allowed to go to school?

‐ My parents aren't grounding me from school, Zeke.

‐ Well, that's good, I guess. You're still going to the party, right?

‐ Are you listening to anything I'm saying, like, at all?

‐ You have to go to the party, dude! Nick already got all those drugs!

‐ No, I can't!

‐ Sneak out the fucking window, dude! You're a foot tall!

Use the doggy door. ‐ No. I‐I can't.

‐ [sighs] Dude.

I quit my fucking job for you. ‐ I didn't tell you to do that.

[bedroom door opening]

‐ I need to talk to you.

‐ Sure. Yeah, okay.

‐ Who's that?

‐ Zeke.

‐ Hang up.

‐ Did you hear that?

‐ Yeah, is that Reuben?

‐ Yeah. ‐ You'll be all right, man.

Kids are supposed to make mistakes.

That's what the whole point of being a kid is.

It's the best. You get to fuck up, you know?

I used to fuck up all the time. ‐ Okay.

REUBEN: Did you think you wouldn't get caught?

'Cause there is nothing you can possibly do that I won't find out about. ‐ I know. I'm sorry.

‐ You're not allowed to see him anymore. ‐ Who?

No, Dad. Don't blame Zeke. This isn't his fault.

‐ Of course it is.

‐ No, you‐you can't do this. He's my best friend!

‐ He's 23 years old, he smokes pot all day, doesn't have a job.

‐ He's starting a podcast. ‐ [laughing] No.

‐ What? ‐ No, he's not.

And you know how I know that? Because he didn't.

The world doesn't care about what you might do if you really put your mind to it.

The world cares about what you actually did.

‐ I'm not gonna stop seeing him.

‐ Fine, Mo. Do whatever you want.

Follow Zeke off a bridge.

‐ [school bell ringing] STACEY: Oh! Yo, yo, yo!

‐ Oh, hey! ‐ What's up, baby? You coming tonight?

‐ Oh, shit, dude. I'm so sorry. I can't.

‐ What? You have to. ‐ No, I'm grounded tonight.

‐ Right, so just sneak out. ‐ I just told you that I can't.

‐ I am begging you, Mo. Come on!

‐ Yo, hold on. Whoa. Is Josh talking to Mr. Clark?

What the fuck is that about? ‐ I don't know, man. It could be anything.

‐ Fuck this, dude.

‐ You're being paranoid, man. I'm telling you.

‐ Dude, the whole thing just feels sketchy, okay?

Like, the school's on to us.

I have to sneak out tonight?

Like, it just feels like I'm the only one taking risks.

‐ We're all taking risks here, baby. ‐ Don't call me baby.

‐ Hey. ‐ Oh, shit.

Fuck. ‐ Okay, listen.

You need to chill the fuck out, all right?

Just calm down. Nobody knows anything. ‐ Hey, keep your voice down.

‐ Okay. All right, fine. So, we have a deal?

‐ Yeah, fine, but the price is going up.

‐ I fucking love you so much! I love you! I love you!

‐ Okay, it's fine dude. It's fine. ‐ Oh, yo, can you bring condoms?

‐ What? For who?

[phone vibrating]


‐ Seriously?

‐ You don't even care.

‐ Yo, you've just been yelling at me all day.

Of course I care. It's just like‐‐

‐ Okay, well, that's your problem, Zeke! This is you caring.

‐ Well, this is a little dramatic, don't you think?

Hey! Come back!

Come back!

[slurping]

♪ dance music playing ♪

[indistinct party chatter]

‐ Hey! ‐ Oh, Sophie. Hey, how are you‐‐

‐ What is wrong with you? ‐ Nothing, no.

‐ You're ghosting me now?

‐ [stammering] What? No, I'm not...

‐ You haven't texted me back in, like, four days!

I mean, you didn't seem like an asshole, but maybe that's your secret.

‐ Okay, Sophie, let me explain. ‐ Secret fucking asshole.

‐ I'm not‐‐ Sophie, wait. Hold on, please? Just wait up.

Sophie, wait.

Look, Zeke said that if I didn't give you any attention, you would like me more. I was just following his advice.

Can you hold on a minute, please?

‐ You want some solid dating advice? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Ready? You're not cool.

This just isn't a character you can pull off.

Stop trying to. ‐ Wait. What the‐‐ Sophie, wait. Hold on. I‐I hated not talking to you!

[phone vibrating]

Hello?

Yeah, hey, uh...

What, right now? I...

Are you okay? You sound sort of...

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right.

Yeah, just‐just send me your address, okay?

Okay, bye.

[baseball game on TV plays]

[sighs]

[chair clatters]

[spits]

[bottle cap falls]

[All For You by Sister Hazel playing]

‐ [Zeke singing off‐key] ♪ Finally I figured out ♪

♪ But it took a long, long time ♪

♪ But now there's a turnabout ♪

♪ Maybe 'cause I'm trying ♪

♪ There's been times, I'm so confused ♪

♪ All my roads, they lead to you ♪

‐ Hey. ‐ Well, well...

‐ Hey. Are you okay? ‐ Yeah!

‐ Well, you said "come quick‐‐" ‐ Shhh.

My parents are asleep. Come on.

‐ ♪ It's hard to say what it is I see in you ♪

♪ Yes, you, my love, I'll always be with you ♪

♪ Words can't say, something can't do ♪

♪ And dappa dap doo, it's all for you ♪

[Holly giggles]

MO: This is your room? HOLLY: Mm‐hmm.

‐ Has Zeke seen it?

‐ Do you wanna take off your jacket and get a drink?

I'm gonna change. ‐ Oh, sure, yeah, um...

Yeah, I can have, like, one, but I gotta wake up early tomorrow, so...

‐ Oh, what, so just because Zeke and I broke up, you don't wanna hang out with me anymore?

‐ You and Zeke broke up?

‐ He was cheating on me.

‐ Oh, um...

That sucks. I'm sure he didn't mean to do that.

‐ You know what's crazy?

We've known each other for so long and we never really hung out one‐on‐one.

[coughs]

Yeah. Yeah, that is weird.

‐ How are things with the girlfriend?

‐ She kinda hates me right now.

Zeke's advice really backfired.

‐ Yeah, of course it did.

He's a dick.

‐ I mean, he's a nice guy once you get to know him.

HOLLY: But you know...

You're, like, way better than he ever was.

‐ [chuckles] Well, I mean, it's not really a competition.

You know, we both have our strengths, and‐‐

‐ So, do you wanna do this?

‐ Um...

Yeah.

[Baby by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti playing]

You're so baby

Baby

You're so baby

‐ [sniffing] Hey‐o!

And, yeah, I think that's what it's about at the end of the day, don't you think?

You know, it's just about feeling good.

You know, I feel good then you feel good. Then you feel good then I feel good.

It's like a Dr. Seuss‐‐ ‐ What the‐‐?

‐ Hey! My guy!

♪ hip‐hop music playing ♪

‐ [laughing] Fucking good shit, dude.

Yo, let me smoke some of that.

‐ This guy right here!

‐ All right, yo, I'll hit it after you.

‐ Yo, I love this song. Turn it up.

Wow! ‐ Yo, let me get some of that.

‐ This shit's amazing, bro! ‐ Yo, all right, please?

‐ Get the fuck‐‐ ‐ Watch out! Watch out!

[brakes screeching]

‐ Yo, is everyone okay?

‐ What the fuck, dude? ‐ I don't know. I am so sorry.

[panting] Hey, what do we do?

What? What? Why? Why? Hey, wha‐‐?

Uh... Oh, fuck. What? No, hey!

Michelle, please.

I need you right now. We can do this thing. We can push it out.

‐ Sorry. ‐ What? No! Fuck! Why?

[Lonesome Town by Ricky Nelson playing]

Fuck this.

There's a place where lovers go

To cry their troubles away

And they call it Lonesome Town

‐ You wanted to see me?

‐ Have a seat, Will.

‐ How'd you get to school today, Will?

‐ Bicycle. ‐ Hmm. Where's your car?

‐ At home.

‐ No, it's not. I have it.

Two officers found it abandoned in a ditch this morning.

‐ What the hell? What?

‐ Shut up. ‐ Okay.

‐ There were beer cans and traces of weed all over the floor mats.

‐ Listen, that's my mom's car, so I'm just as concerned as you are.

‐ I just want to know where you kids are getting this stuff.

‐ What do you mean by "stuff"?

‐ Look, I can't prove that you were driving the car, but I can call your parents to come down and pick it up.

Or you can help me out.

Where are you gettin' the drugs?

[crowd clapping]

REUBEN: Momo! ZEKE: Here you go, Mo!

JORDAN: Go, Mo! ‐ That's my boy!

Hey, Momo! Let's go!

‐ That's okay, that's okay. That was a good swing.

Wait for your pitch.

[no audio]

What's he doing?

UMPIRE: Ball. ‐ Oh, come on, he's too short.

I got nowhere to put the ball.

‐ I'll show you where to put the ball!

‐ Yo, this pitcher's old and shit. This dude's like 30.

UMPIRE: Ball.

‐ Just like that, Mo! Every time!

UMPIRE: Ball.

‐ Why isn't he swinging?

UMPIRE: Ball four.

‐ [crowd clapping] ‐ That's okay, Mo!

JORDAN: Let's go, baby!

ZEKE: Every time! Every fucking time!

Get in that ass, boy! Woo!

He sucked so bad that the last game, as a goof, he just decided to bat from the left side. Motherfucker went four for four.

‐ No way! ‐ He was a lefty the whole time.

‐ That's crazy.

‐ You know, Holly and I broke up.

‐ Oh. ‐ Oh?

[knocking]

‐ Hello. ‐ You really fucked up with Mo.

‐ Tongue Daddy? Nah, he's a big boy now.

‐ No, he isn't. You know that.

‐ You know, I recently acquired some art myself.

‐ Uh‐huh? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

Speaking of, where is what's‐his‐face?

‐ You know his name.

‐ All right, where's Doug?

‐ He's in New York.

‐ Well, that sucks. He went to New York without you?

‐ I had to work.

‐ You know, if you were my girl... ‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ you wouldn't have to work a day in your life.

‐ [laughing] ‐ What?

‐ It's just so sad! ‐ Why is that funny?

‐ Just how adorable you think you are.

You know, you're not doing Mo any favors getting him high, giving him tattoos.

Like what the fuck are you thinking, Zeke? He's a kid!

‐ He asked to do it.

‐ Uh‐huh. I don't even wanna think about the other shit I probably don't know about.

‐ That'd be best.

‐ Look, it's obvious he hangs out with you so that he can feel cool.

But one day he's gonna wake up and realize that you're just hanging out with him because you need to feel cool too.

And then he won't 'cause he's the last person on Earth who thinks that you are.

Dude, what are you doing?

‐ What? Uh...

‐ That was what you took from what I just said?

‐ I love you a lot.

‐ I don't love you anymore. Like, at all, Zeke.

And the only reason why I let you come over tonight was to tell you to stop fucking up my brother's life.

[exhales]

Just... shit.

‐ [bass thrumming] ‐ [indistinct party chatter]

‐ Hey! Lisa, Lisa. Have you see Sophie tonight?

‐ No. ‐ Really? You don't know?

Or, no, you haven't seen her? Hey, what's up?

‐ This is crazy, yo. Paul's parents are out of town.

Word's spread, you did this. You bring me anything?

[sirens wailing]

[tires squealing]

‐ I'm gonna need some more money from you two.

‐ Holy fuck! [laughing]

[music, party chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

‐ Hey, Sophie. There you are.

‐ You were looking for me? ‐ Yeah, I was.

‐ Well, I'm here.

‐ Right.

[Sophie continues conversation]

Hey, so, can‐‐ can we talk maybe?

‐ Okay. Sure.

‐ Look, I just, I wanted to say I'm sorry for the other night.

‐ What? What are‐‐? What?

‐ [stammering] Look, I'm starting to realize that, you know, Zeke doesn't always know what he's... talking about.

Can‐can we go upstairs? I just‐‐

‐ Sure. All right.

‐ Aw, my man!

Dude, your face. ‐ What?

‐ Your face.

‐ Hey, uh, sorry. This street's closed off.

‐ What's going on? ‐ Some house party got out of hand.

‐ You had to bring the Avengers out? I mean, they're just kids, man.

Weren't you a kid once?

‐ Either way, sir, you need to keep moving.

‐ Hey, man, you know, there's a lot of bad things going on in the world.

So can't you just let a couple kids just have a couple beers‐‐

‐ Slim Shady? ‐ Yeah?

‐ I smell the weed in the car, so if you don't get the fuck outta here‐‐

‐ Yes, sir.

Good luck with those kids, man. Hey, man, good luck.

‐ What do you want?

‐ Hey.

[badge clatters]

Look, I just‐‐ can we...?

Can we just‐‐ can we start over?

‐ No. Not really.

‐ Well, no, I mean, obviously not completely start over.

I mean, our first kiss was stressful enough as it was.

But, I mean, I mean, this time I just wanna tell you how much I like you and not take Zeke's advice.

Because, let's face it, Zeke's advice can only get me as far as Zeke.

Do you know what I'm saying? ‐ Can I go back downstairs?

‐ Yo, who invited their dad?

‐ Don't let anybody out.

‐ Hey, let's put the drinks down. We're the police.

‐ Yeah we are! ALL: Woooo!

‐ Where is Monroe Harris?

‐ Look... I'm sorry, okay?

‐ What are you doing?

‐ What? ‐ Why would I want to kiss you?

What the hell is your problem?

‐ Wait, but I just‐‐ I apologized.

‐ Yeah, so? You're a dick!

And you're fucking sketchy. You're like a child drug dealer.

You let everyone use you.

You're the guy with the bag. That's weird.

‐ Yeah, but we kissed.

‐ Yeah. I liked you. I don't like you anymore.

‐ [stammering] Wait, are you joking? 'Cause I can honestly never tell.

OFFICER: [knocking] Monroe Harris, are you in there?

Open the door. This is the police.

‐ Danny, fuck off, okay?

‐ I don't think that's a kid. OFFICER: Open the door!

Open this door right now! ‐ Oh, shit! Oh, fuck!

‐ You locked the door?

‐ Yeah, I kinda thought this was gonna go better.

OFFICER: Do not make this worse. ‐ I'm opening it.

‐ No, no, no, Sophie. Please, give me a minute, okay?

‐ What the fuck is going on?

‐ Look, I do this all the time, okay? It's fine, I do this at home. It's fine.

OFFICER: Open this door! ‐ What the fuck!

OFFICER: I'm not gonna ask again!

‐ This isn't me, I swear. ‐ Are you killing yourself?

[pounding on door]

BOY: Hey, are you okay?

OFFICER: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Where the boys are

Someone waits for me

A smiling face, a warm embrace

Two arms to hold me tenderly

Where the boys are

My true love will be

He's walking down some street in town

And I know he's looking there for me

'Til he holds me

I wait impatiently

Where the boys are Where the boys are

Where the boys are

Someone waits

For me

[song ends]

‐ I'm so fuckin' screwed, man.

I mean, think about it. They know my name, they know where I live.

They can find me!

And I can't stay here forever.

‐ Ah, dude, relax. You're fine.

‐ Yo, shut the fuck up, dude. That's easy for you to say.

You've literally never cared how this was going to end for me.

And I have to fucking move now! I have to change my name!

My fucking parents, dog!

[softly crying]

‐ Hey, don't beat yourself up over this. This is not a big deal.

You're 16. ‐ [crying]

‐ Dude.

You serious right now? Come on.

‐ I just‐‐ I don't wanna end up like you, man.

‐ That's a bad thing?

‐ Yeah, it's a fuckin' nightmare.

‐ Oh.

All right, yeah.

You're not gonna end up like me. You're good, man.

‐ Look at me, dude, I'm already‐‐ I'm already like you.

It's already happened. I‐I sold drugs...

Sophie won't even talk to me.

My friends just use me for alcohol, my parents hate me.

I hooked up with Holly.

‐ What?

Like...?

Oh.

Wow.

Fuckin' bitch.

Like sex?

[sniffles]

Word. Mmmm.

Sick! You lost your virginity, eh?

‐ I know, dude, and...

I wanted to tell you really fuckin' badly, but it was to your girlfriend.

‐ Yeah, yeah. I can imagine how that could be rough.

Mmm.

Come here, bro. Come over here.

I love you, fuckin' idiot.

[sniffs]

Stop crying. It's weird.

We don't cry in this house. We do drugs in this house.

[chuckling]

You're good, dude. You're not gonna get in trouble.

‐ What am I gonna do, dude?

‐ Tell the fucking cops. Just be like, "Hey, um..."

Just blame it on me. Just be like, I sold you alcohol and drugs and all that nonsense. Whatever, it's cool.

‐ [scoffs] Really? Just like that?

‐ Yeah. What are they gonna do to me? Look at where I live.

What's the worst that could happen? Take my DMX poster and fucking...

You're cool, man.

Just get outta here before I change my mind.

‐ No.

‐ Huh? ‐ No.

No, I can't do it. ‐ What do you mean no?

‐ I think this is my fault, and I...

I gotta own it.

‐ Nah, bro, we got this.

Yo, one time me and Nick, we got a whole‐‐

‐ You've done enough.

ZEKE: Mo!

REUBEN: Hey! Morning! SHERRI: Hi, sweetie.

‐ Hey. REUBEN: Uh, movie tonight?

‐ Yeah. Sounds good.

REUBEN: Oh! Okay. SHERRI: Are you hungry?

‐ No, I'm good. Thanks.

SHERRI: Hey.

You okay? ‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah.

PRINCIPAL: Monroe.


[inaudible]


‐ Yo. What up?

‐ Stay away from my son.

‐ Huh?

I'm not gonna stay away from Mo. You're not my dad.

You can't tell me what to do.

What the fuck? What's up?

The fuck?!

Ow!

What's your problem, bro?

‐ I have no idea what it is about you that he finds so special.

I really don't.

And I think about it all the time.

I mean...

What, because you let him smoke and drink? I mean...

Was I supposed to do that?

I'm his father.

For the record, I don't blame you. I can't.

But Mo is nothing like you.

And he should've known better.

So, do me a favor and just, you know, leave my son and my daughter and my whole family the fuck alone.

MO: Dad. ‐ I told you to stay in the car!

‐ I got expelled.


‐ Don't tell your mom about that, okay?


RECEPTIONIST: Monroe.

‐ Bye, Rhonda. ‐ See you Thursday.

‐ Hi, can I get a, um, a number nine with no pickles, please?

DRIVE‐THRU WORKER: That'll be $8.21. Second window.

‐ Okay. Thank you.

ZEKE: Oh, shit! Momo! ‐ Zeke?

‐ [softly crying] I don't know what I'm gonna do, man.

He was my best friend. I lost my best friend, man.

I don't know. [sniffles]

Fuck!

What a fucking good dog.

[sighs] Huh? What‐what‐what do you think?

‐ Yeah, that was all right.

‐ That was great! That was like‐like Oscar stuff.

You know, like Chalamet or something.

‐ Oh, definitely.

‐ Yeah.

‐ So, how long you been working here? ‐ Um...

‐ Like two weeks. Something like that. Yeah.

‐ Yeah, cool. Good for you, man. ‐ Thank you.

‐ I see you're going by your full name.

‐ Oh, yeah, got me. It's corporate here, you know?

Big company. Just wanna look good. It's professional, you know.

I told you, everything always works out.

It always works out. Look at us.

‐ I mean, sort of. You know, I mean, I did have to switch schools.

And my mom cried for a month straight.

And I can only drive the car to go to community service or pee in a cup.

‐ Right. But... but...

‐ Yeah? ‐ We have... a memory. We have a memory that we get to share together.

‐ Not a lot of people get that, right? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ Yeah. Mmm. ‐ Sure.

‐ Yo, did I tell you? I wrote a script!

Like, a movie. Like, yeah... ‐ No way!

‐ Yeah! ‐ Did you actually?

‐ Yeah, yeah. It's like a horror‐action‐comedy type thing.

And, uh, there's actually a character in it based off you.

I think you'd like it. ‐ Yeah, can I read it sometime?

‐ I haven't written it actually yet. It's in my head right now.

It's in that process.

But I will write it down. I heard that is the easiest part.

So, yeah, we'll cross that bridge when it comes.

‐ Cool. ‐ Very cool.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Yeah.

So, uh, what are you doing later? I haven't seen you in, like, forever.

You wanna hang out or something?

‐ No, I sort of have to hang out with my parents tonight.

You know.

But, uh, yo, you wanna come?

‐ Ha! No thanks. Yeah, I get it. Um...

Okay, if not, maybe tomorrow?

I'm off tomorrow actually. Tomorrow's better. Tomorrow?

‐ Sure. Maybe. Yeah. ‐ Cool.

‐ I'll, uh, I'll let you know. ‐ Okay.

‐ All right, I guess somebody who works here will fix that.

See you tomorrow? ‐ Yeah, I'll see you around, man.

‐ Tight. I'll walk you out. Come on.

[Nothin But Time by Cat Power playing]


I see you, kid, alone in your room

You got the weight on your mind

And you're just trying to get by

Your world is just beginning

And I know this life seems never‐ending

But you got nothin' but time

And it ain't got nothin' on you

You know what you got to do

You ain't got nothin' but time

And it ain't got nothin' on you

Let 'em in one by one

Keep 'em safe from all the harm

Let 'em in one by one

Keep 'em safe, yeah...

They wanna live

They wanna be somebody

They wanna give

And be wanted

They want to forgive

And not be forgotten

They want to reach the end

They wanna live

Their way of living

Their way of living

I see you, kid, alone in your room

I see you, kid, you got the weight on your mind

I see you're just trying to get by

But your world is just beginning

I know this life seems never‐ending

It's up to you

It's up to you, you know

It's only time

It ain't got nothin' on you

It's nothin' but time

And it ain't got nothin' on you