Blue Jay (2016) Script


Oh, god.


Hi Amanda.


Oh my god.

How are you?

I am...

I am really good.

How are you?


How are you? Did I ask that already?

-You did, but I am happy to... -Okay.

Happy to tell you again.

You're good?

-Yeah. -Great.

So, you... Are you...

Are you living here now? Or you...

Oh, no, I'm...

I'm here to see my sister.

-Okay. -You remember?

-Yeah. -I'm sure... yeah.

-It's elissa. -Yeah.

Getting... cooking... Just some...

Grated ginger and capers and...

Ice cream.

I didn't brush my teeth.

That's why I'm licking my teeth a lot right now, I don't know.

So, anyway, I don't want to hold you...

Obviously if you have...



Yeah. Okay.

-All right. -Yeah.


Here's your change.

This is my car. Yeah.


-Too weird. -Weird.

Hey, do you want to get a coffee?



-Yes. -Great.

Yeah, good.

It's good.

Good, yeah.

I heard about your mom.

I was really sorry to hear it.

Oh yeah, thanks.

You know, she...

She was sick for a little bit, so it was, you know, we were prepared for it

-but thanks, you know. -Yeah.


We've been clearing out her house a little bit and I think would have fix it up and...

Maybe sell it, so...

Fix it up yourself?

Yeah. That's kind of what I do.

Work on houses and stuff.

-Wow. -Yeah.

You build them? You do all the...

I do... I mostly do the dry wall stuff.

Uncle John runs the business, so I got caught up with him, like...

You know, we did a bunch of work.

In New Orleans after Katrina and then...

It's boring as shit but...

It's not boring. It's not boring.

I didn't know that's what you were doing.

Yeah. It's good. It's steady and it's consistent.

And... yeah, it's cool. It's fun.

-What? -What?

I don't know. You seem...

Yeah, yeah.

No, it's good. It's like...

I end up in tuscon and it's great.

Really nice, warm climate and I dig it.

-It's too hot. -No, it's good.

It's better, you know, it's not like here.


That's... that's what I've been doing.

-Wow. -Yeah.

Tuscon. Warm.

You know, my parents moved.

To Florida.

To be warm.


They may move back. They may have to move back.

Yeah. What's going on?

My sister's having a baby.


Yeah. That's the grand parent pressure.

-Yeah. -You know.

You're not married, huh?

No. Married to the work.

Married to the dry wall?

Married to the work.

You know, I like it. You know, it's good.

It's really good for me. I think that's how I...

Yeah, it's good and...

I think it's bright for me. You know.

You okay?



Trying to get through this coffee.

This coffee is terrible.

The blue Jay has gone down the hill.



Tell me about your husband.

-Really? -Yeah.

Oh, god. I don't even know where to start.

I got really lucky.

He's a really... Incredibly supportive, very nurturing, wonderful guy.

His name is Chris.

And when I met him, he had two small boys.

And so...

Boom! Insta... insta mom.

And his ex-wife was really wonderful to me.

Their whole childhood we had a week with them and a week off.

And so, you know, one week, it's just the two of us. We can do whatever we want whenever we want to and footloose and fancy free and then next week it's little league and soccer games and then studying for their sat's and college tours and you know...



It's crazy.

It's crazy. Yeah.

It's just crazy. It's great.

Jim. What?

It's crazy. It's just crazy.

Would you stop it?

I am not doing anything.

You're doing something with your face.

I'm not doing anything.

My face leaks. I don't know.

But it's fine.

It's fine. It's fine.

-Good. -Anyway.

There's a pregnant woman waiting for her ice cream.

Oh, yes. God.

I'll walk you back to your car.

-Okay. -Yeah. Come on.

Park dental by the way, gone.


You had a couple of cavities filled there.

I think you had nine, was that the record?

Would have been more like 11.


That's what happens when you have love of jelly bean...


There's no way.

Oh, come on!

No, that's not possible.

I think it's him.

No that's his grandson.

He was like a hundred in high school.

That's his hat, -I'm telling you that's his hat. -Oh, my god!

Wayne travels with wayney man.


Do you think he would remember?

I'm not sure he's alive.

I haven't seen him move yet.

No he's not going to remember.

That was our dorky thing that we did.

That was...

You want to put a wager on it?

I'll bet you $100, he doesn't remember.

A $100?

I'll bet you a $100.

-Hi wayney. -Hi wayney.


What's up?

We were wanting to go traveling.

You're talking...

Yeah that's exactly what I'm talking about.


Thanks wayney.

-Thank you, wayney. -Yeah.


I told you.

-Come on. You planted that. -I told you!

I did not, you owe me a $100.

I don't have $100.

Well you owe me a $100.

All right.


Yeah, hit me.

Hit it!

What you got?

-Japan. -Okay.

I got Brooklyn.

-Oh Germany. -Hey wayney!

Do you have any zima?

I believe they pulled it off the market.

What about gold schlagger?

We don't carry that anymore.

That's more like it.

-Belgium. -Belgium.


-Yeah? -Good.

I know who you are now, you're the love birds.

The famous lovebirds.

You're still together, right?

What? What's the matter, what?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's... you know... -What?

-It's 24 years. -Yeah?

Still going strong.

Yeah, we got married.

-Oh, congratulations guys. -Thanks.

-Congratulations. -Thank you.

I got your jelly beans.

All right wayney, what do we owe you?

You don't owe me anything, your money is no good here.

-Come on. -Come on, let an old man, buy something please.

Make me happy, okay?

Congratulations again.

-Nice to see you. -Yeah.

Yeah, good to see you guys.

Looking good.

You look exactly the same.

Get out of here. Come on now. You're gonna make me cry.

Is the coat warm enough for you?

Okay, yeah.

Yeah that's the one...

It served pizza long time ago.

Yeah but i remember being like...

Did they move them?

That it. No, that's it.

See, 'cause I use to put my leg

-oh yeah. -Right here. Watch.

-Wait. -Here we go.

Hold on. Let's see.

Come on. Hold this.

I still got the stuff.

So, what's next for you?

You're going back to Tucson or...

You're working? You got a house, you're gonna build?

I don't know, Tucson is...

And work stuff's kinda up in the air.

-What does that mean? -So...

Do you not like doing it?

No it's good, it's...

I don't know.

I have to admit there's a small part of me as I was sitting...

In the old house and thinking about fixing it up.

And I'm starting to think like...

I don't know maybe...

I could stay here.

It looks interesting to me.

What would you do here though?

It's just a thought, i don't...

-I mean, I've no plan. -I know, I like...

Don't you want...

Why you grilling me right now?

I'm not trying to grill you, I just...

I guess I'm a little worried about you?

Why are you worried about me?

I don't know, you don't... You seem...

I don't know a little, lost or...

I haven't got it all, figured out.

But... you know...

Isn't there anything you want to do?

Amanda, I don't fucking know what I'm doing, okay?

I had lost my job, okay? I lost my job.

I had a falling out with my uncle who was stealing clients from me and I beat the fuck out of him, okay?

I beat the living shit out of him.

It was a really scary moment and I had a crack and I feel awful about it and I'm...

I'm sorry, i didn't... I...


So I'm living in Tucson and I don't want to stay there anymore but I don't really know where else to go.

And it's... I'm having a...

Just having a hard time, so.

I'm sorry, yeah.

I'm not...

I'm gonna start crying again.

-Yeah. -This is a thing with me, all right?

I really think it's your fault, honestly.

Why is it my fault?

You use to give me the best head rubs.

And they use to really take the edge off.

Quit hiding the jelly beans hand 'em up.

Come on.

Give me some jelly beans, okay?

That's why I'm so sad

'cause you won't give me any jelly beans.

It's also little hard 'cause you're really impressive.

Your life is really impressive.

-Yeah... -So there's a part of me that's...

Just saying.

I don't know on the way here I was getting on the plane and there was this family and this little boy, he was so mad and just irate and of course he has no way of expressing any of that except sort of just like...

Scream and stomp his feet and...

I mean, he was screaming so loud that tongue was curing to the back of his mouth and tears were just like...

You know, springing out of his face he was...

Leaking you know.

And I just remember looking at him and being very jealous.

You know, that's my soul-mate.

Me and that four year old. That's my soul-mate.

I don't know some point we just learn it's better not to do that and...

I don't know at what point...


You ate a lot of them.

I did eat a lot.

You left me all the pink and purple ones

yeah, they are your favorites.

What's up?

Miss elissa wants to know where's her ice-cream is at?

Of course.

Oh god!

Does she like ice-cream soup.

I'm just telling her i ran into some one.

Don't take it person... sorry yes. Okay fine I'll tell her it's you just...

-She'll ask me who. -She's gonna ask...

-There is is. -Jim.

Lisa, Lisa the interrogator.

Holy fuckity fuck! Jim, Jim?

She's Lisa lising you.

Yeah Jim Jim, yes.

She wants to know how you look.

She wants to know, when I'm coming back.

I kinda want to see your house.

You want to see the house?

It's been really great catching up with you.

But if the reason you spending time with me is because...

You feel sorry for me.

You don't have to do it, it's okay. Okay?

Sorry, just the boxes.


It's okay.

Here we go.

Yeah, still got a lot of...

Her stuff to pack up.

Yeah that's a good one in particular.

Yeah, I'll say.


Yeah, pretty much how she left it so...

I've been thinking about...

Dry walling where the paneling is maybe take out that wall, so that it opens into the kitchen.

I don't know there's also something kind of...

Cozy about the way it is.

Thinking about it.

Anyway, make yourself at home. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Will see you in a sec.

Oh, my god.

This is a very serious collection of romance novels.

This could not have been here...

When we were spending all that time I think there were some I think she really started collecting

-when I left and I wasn't here to... -Yeah...

-We would have a field day with it. -Yeah.

Well, I mean let's face it, in your hay-day you were pretty...

In my hay-day?

You were pretty romantic.

I'm remembering...

When you read wuthering heights and you made me read it and you sent me that...

I think it was four legal page...

-Jim, that's extreme... -Letters about...

You called me heathcliff and you called your self Catherine.

-I am you and you are me. -Please stop it!

Yes so, by the way completely humiliating.

Don't pretend you're all above this.

There's a very big difference.

I would like to point out between this lovely array of books and the great work of art and literature that is wuthering heights.

I mean they cannot be compared.

Here's something for you.

"Right away.

She knew that her heart and soul belonged to Justin."

What Justin?

There's no sexier name than Justin.

"Oh, Justin!

Do it to me Justin."

-Oh, come on. -Sorry.

No, there's more.

"But it wasn't until tonight that she realized Justin also owned her body."

I'm sorry there's no comparison between this and wuthering heights.

-It really, first of all... -It's really sacrilegious thing...

I don't want to think about my mother reading it.

You know what? Neither do I, I have to say.

I've been staring at these books I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of them why?

Well, I don't know, it's weird like i had this weird...

I had a very strange mortality moment when I looked at them and I was like this eight hundred books here, and even if I...

For some reason wanted to read all of these books I wouldn't be able to finish all of these books before I died.

That's a weird thing, you know the math of that.

Pretty morbid thought.

No just...

Not to be morbid but just a thing.


You know it's all relative, I think.

I mean, my husband you know...

Maybe he would make it through this, section.

If you were lucky.

-I don't know. -Yeah.

Can I... do you mind if I go out side? I have to make a phone call.

Yeah, yeah of course.

You know the way.

Yes I do.

I know, I'm sorry. I meant to call you, yeah.

The minute I got there she sent me right out to get some food.

Oh, yeah she seems really...

She seems really good.

Yeah, she's just hungry.

I think we're just gonna stay in.

Just you know...

Watch a movie or...

You know and eat.


Wait, can you just say that again I didn't hear you.


This is amazing.

This is amazing, it's like a time capsule.

It's all here.

You needed the black light...

Black light...

Hey it was 1993 you needed a black light.

Yeah I adore the black light.

You want to watch some, friends?

-Try outs? -Try outs.

The other option is I could draw a little gin blossoms.

Yes would you?


Maybe tilda weds brocket?

I hate the sound of tilda weds...

Fine, blues traveler.

I like blues traveler.

Oh, well, well...

You literally have every shirt you wore in high school still.

My mom kept stuff, that's just...

God, yeah.

I remember wearing this one.

This one.

I think this one is mine.

Oh, I always hated this one.

I looked good in that.

You did not look good in it, like a weird lumber Jack.

You say that, like it's a bad thing.

It is a very bad thing.

Well, you know I'm sorry.

-That's private property. -Oh really?

Have some respect, okay?

For what? For your privacy?

Yes, exactly.

You probably read these to me out loud.

It's called privacy.

No, no, that's private.

Oh, my...

"The winds of change are fucking blowing tonight."

-No. Don't read. -No.

-Don't read, no. -"Amanda...


Who knew her name was going to be Amanda.

-What a face." -Hey!

"What a spirit.

My lips said hello my friend but my heart said hello my future.

I don't even know myself anymore.

Jim has been ripped in half but I'm so happy to bleed, for there is Amanda."

Oh, my god!

You want Japan or New York?

New York

oh, my god!

I found a picture of you that is outrageous.

You don't deserve this by the way.

Digging through my stuff.

Listen man, you don't have lock on your shit it's bound to get broken into.

Man, I can't believe you still have all this stuff.

Little crazy.

Mom was a bit of a hoarder.


Do you dare?

Are you brave enough?

"The winds of fucking change are blowing tonight."

Fuck you.

"This first classic performance is entitled hanging out, may 1994."

Oh my god!

I don't know whats happening. Good luck.

What's it gonna be?

Oh boy!

She just don't understand

oh, she jealous, she jealous

she jealous.

That's right folks and mamma her mamma

and mamma had a son

-she just don't understand. -No way.

She's jealous, she's jealous, she's jea...

Oh no!

You fuckin' taped over it, -i was recording over... -God damn it.

We were running out of tape.

Wait hold on. - Welcome home.

Thanks sweetheart so good to see you.

How is work?


You know Glen donavon is canceling his account with us.

Twenty three years doing business

together just like that, can you believe it?

Oh, business.

23 years with Glen donavon...

I'm sorry.

I've got little something to cheer you up.

I've got something to cheer you...

Not that.

You are in a late night cinemax movie.

Close your eyes.

-Why? -Just do it!

See I'm the boss, even then.

You're the boss.

What are you doing? Would you be patient?

-I'm not patient. -Jim, come on.

Okay, open them.

Oh, my god!

Happy 40th anniversary lover.

Oh, my god! Look at this meal look what you did.

Sweetheart, it's beautiful.

I'm so thankful, I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry, I forgot.

It's okay, you've been busy just sit down, let's eat.

It's delicious, it's like...

-Oh, my god! -Is it good? I made your favorite.

You are my favorite.

I better be your favorite.

So did you talk to Jessica yet today?

-I did. -And?

And she got it.

Yes, yes!

Oh, I knew she would. I mean two years in

-she's already getting promoted. -But, are you surprised?

No that's our Jessica.

Ever since she was three years old she started telling me

what to ware I think we knew not to worry.

I know.

Now I know our poor Jason was a little

-yeah. -Odd on the phone today.

I think it's so hard when your big sister is so successful.

Yeah must be, but he's so wonderful

in his own way.

He's gonna find it, I know he will.

He's got your eyes.

He's got your heart.

We've got that great couple of kids.

Oh yeah, they got a great mom.

-Best mom in the whole world. -Best dad in the whole world.

It's kinda funny like...

Having the house to ourselves again, isn't it?

All those years with the four of us running around, bumping in to each other.

It's back down to the two of us.


-But it's nice. -Yeah, it's nice.

Hey, I'm really sorry

I forgot to get an anniversary present.

It's okay.

I feel really bad, I'm gonna go to the bathroom I'll be quick.

Jim, what are you doing?

Oh, just nothing. Here open it, open it.

So stupid.

You got us tickets to see Annie Lennox?

Yes I did. Happy anniversary to you late dancing.

You're such a bitch, you tricked me.

Yeah I still got a few tricks left in my old sleeve here.

I love you Amanda Henderson.

I love you more.

You are so good!

-You're still like an old man. -Surprise!

You're still like an old man.

I actually believe that you could really cook.

-Kiss me. -Hey.

-Here's to 80 more. -Yeah.

Hundred and twenty more.

-Yeah we can do that, right? -Yeah.

We weren't very cool.

No, we were deeply uncool.

That was really...


I wonder where that plane's going.

It's not coming here.

You'd think... That town down there?

-Suck! -Suck!

Although, you know what it's the fact that it's dark.

You can't quite see the shithole-ness.

That is right.

And actually right now...

It does look kinda pretty.

It's kinds nice

-right? -Yeah.

Not so bad.

What's on your mind, eh?

Is it that obvious?

I was really...

Little unnerving...

Back there, listening to all that stuff.

I mean, i seemed quite... fun.

-First of all. -Your rapping career didn't turn out the way you hoped it would, I think.

I understand.

It's almost like I don't know who that person was on the tape.

I remember her really well.

She was really fun, wasn't she?

Yeah she's great.

-Yeah. -And I...

Don't get me wrong it's not that my...

Life isn't that...

I just...

-Amanda? -What?

I understand.

You don't have to explain it to me.

Would you like to have some fun tonight?

Like just some...

Stupid ass... fun, tonight.

Well now I'm scared. What you gonna do?

Do you trust me?

I don't know.

-It's been a long time i don't know. -It's a big question.

-Yeah, it's been a long time. -I really don't know.

I say fuck the ice-cream now.

Fuck the ice-cream.

Is that your new rap?

-Fuck the ice-cream. -Fuck the ice-cream.

Fuck the...

Fuck, fuck...

Fuck the ice-cream.

Fuck the ice-cream.

Honey I'm home.

Hi, sweetheart.

You have to close your eyes.

Please just stay right up there, do not come down here and close your eyes.

Why do I have to close my eyes?

What's going on?

Because, it's a surprise.

Please sweetheart.

Surprise, okay.

Did you have a good day, Mr. Henderson?

Well, there's a lot to talk about. How was your day Mrs. Henderson?

I have something very exciting to tell you as well.

Wow, that sounds like we should have dinner and talk about our day.

Do me a favor and please be patient.

Okay, I'm being patient, I'm closing my eyes.

Keep them closed.

You know I'll do anything for you Mrs. Henderson.

I'm counting on it.

Something smells delicious.


Hello, Mrs. Henderson.

Hello, Mr. Henderson.

Keep your eyes closed and come with me.


-Come with me. -Yes.

Hold on to the railing please.

-Okay. -Okay.

It's very exciting.

-I love surprises. -Tell me all about your day at work.


On the count of three i want you to open your eyes.


Okay, go for it.




Oh, my god! Look at this meal!

It's gorgeous.

You made all this? You cooked all this?

Have you been taking cooking classes on the sly?

-Maybe, Mr. Henderson. -Oh my gosh!

Mrs. Henderson this meal is beautiful, it's elegant...

Very French, Mr. Henderson.

But, I have a question.

What's the special occasion?

I can't believe you forgot.

-What? -Mr. Henderson?


Happy 20th anniversary lover.

Of course I didn't forget, i was just playing.

Happy anniversary sweetheart.

There you are.

-Let's eat. -Let's eat.

These eggs are really something.


And the noodles, are they Asian?

They're really fantastic.

Yes that I slaved over for a very long time they're very hard to make.

Very hard to make.

You can really taste it in there.

How is your day, sweetheart?

Well, Glen Donovan was added again honey.

Glen Donovan, he's always giving you such a hard time I don't know if I can take another day with him I mean it's good stable income until your career takes off of course but...

Well, it's very funny that you should mention that because I got a very exciting phone call today.

You did? What was your phone call?

I got a call today, saying I got the opening slot.

Opening... you got the opening slot.

I am going to open for...

-Oh, no. -Oh, yes.

Oh very seriously.

Are you going to be the first female white rapper to open for public enemy?


I knew it! I knew you could do it honey.

Mrs. Henderson they loved your demo.

They loved my demo. They thought is was so fresh I'm so impressed come here.

Cheers to you Mrs. Henderson.

I can't believe it. Oh, no.

But you'll be on tour and I'll miss you and I'll be so sad.

What do we do about that?

What do you think about saying...

Fuck you!

To Glen Donovan?

I do it inside of my head everyday darling, I'd love to say it out loud.

Tell me what you have? Tell me.

Okay, but you promise not to laugh.

I won't laugh.

I would never laugh at you honey.

I think you could be really, really romantic.

And also an opportunity to kinda like...

Find ourselves and be adventurous.

We rent an rv...

-Can I drive? -You can drive.

Can we get matching hats?

We can get matching hats.

Laminated maps.

We'll go from town to town, exploring things and sleeping outside...

Rapping by night.

Rapping by night.

-Adventuring during the day. -Yes.

We're gonna go looking for hot Springs.

Hot Springs and zip lining and weird food...

-And we can go all over the country. -Diarrhea we'll see all our people.

We'll see all our favorite people.

All our friends and people who use to live here and moved away and Jessica and Jason will come and visit us.

It will be so magical.

Don't you think?

-Honey? -What?

If you don't want to do it, we don't have to do it, I think it could be really romantic.

Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch.

This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to us.

-Honey. -What?

I got eggs on your beard.

You got some eggs on my beard?

It's okay.

It's okay, you know why?

Honey that was really funny.

But in all seriousness hon...

You are...

A brilliant planner, you're a wonderful cook.

-Sweetheart. -You're the greatest...

Rap artist I've ever known.

It's the only true thing you just said.

And I think it's time for me...

To unveil my anniversary surprise.

You didn't.

I did.

You didn't.

I did.

You didn't.

I did.

Watch the one eyebrow raise, watch this happen.

You're not doing it honey.

There it is. Nailed it.

Not at all.

-Yes too. -You have to do this, no.

Did I do it?

Well, now it's... Try again with something else.

I'm really sorry i got egg on you, honey.

It's a very sweet thing after all these years you can still make me laugh like that.

-Twenty years. -Twenty years.

Let me give you your surprise.

Jim, did you really do something?

I did.


Jim, Jim...

Jim, what are you doing?

You're leaving me here for Jesus?

You know it. Catholic school forever.

That's so good.

Hey, Mrs. Henderson hello Mr. Henderson.

It's a very good present.

I'm okay.


I'm all right.

I got this.

I think our prom...

Oh, it's really long song.

Surprised, your attention span lasts long enough.

I know.

Song's damn good.

Yeah, there it is.

That was a very nice touch.

What's next?

Oh yeah!

-Here... -Let's go!

Backwards, this is how.



Jump, jump.

Yeah, okay.

Enough with the moaning.

Enough of that, take it easy.

You know I was kidding when I was on the rock but seriously...

I don't want to punch anybody as long as you rub my head I'm good.

No, that means it's ending don't do that.

Don't do that. I don't want it to be over. No!

Yeah, that's enough for you.

-No it's not. -I think it is.

Keep going.

No, I'm not gonna keep going, Jim.

I've done this for you like a million times, you've never done it for me once.

Not once.

All right.

Stretch it out.

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding? Could we please get on with the rub?

I've waited very long time for this.

You can't rush greatness, okay? Take it easy, all right?

If you want to experience the ancient art of phrenology, you really need to wait and get that right.

Come again?

Okay, well if you had seen men at work the classic Charlie sheen, Emilio estevez film, from 1990 you'd know.

It's when you...

You know feel and interpret someones skull features and you kind of see what's going on in there. So I get up in here...

And I say...

See that knot right there that says you're a terrible cook.

Okay, you're shitty.

Shut up.


I'm getting this straight from the skull features you are a lover of animals.

Yeah, you knew that already because I told you that I run a dog rescue.

Tell about your doggies.

Haven't really heard you talk about it much.

It was Chris' idea actually.

What's that?

That I open the rescue.

-That's cool. -Yeah I love the idea of you hanging out with...

Little Freddy like gray hounds.

Taken care of them, i miss Freddy.

We don't really... we don't do the gray hound thing.

What do you mean? You're like the gray hound queen.

Yeah they're just sitting around they're not practical.

Chris pointed out and he's right that you know...

We have lot of special needs.

They take a lot of work, we are a small organization and then it's manageable.

I guess I just...

You love gray hounds, I mean.

Yes I do.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Always think of them as people waring fur-coat.

I know.

I just always have felt understood by them.

That makes sense.

I don't know they want to be around people.

I don't know, feel what they feel I can't explain it, it's...

I can tell that they know that being out in the world is hard.


And they feel it and just want to be like nuzzled up and...

They want to make you feel better.

They have that instinct of wanting to be close and I don 't know.

And you can take a gray hound even with all of it's things that come with owning them or caring for them or rehabilitating them.

You take the oldest, neediest, most anxious, broken down gray hound and if you take that dog to the beach and you take off his collar...

He will just fucking run.

Like he was still young.


Just tear down that beach.

It's like sand flying and tongue is hanging out of his mouth and he's so...

I don't know, so beautiful.

I think you should think about working with gray hounds.


Decent amount of stars tonight.

Can I tell you something?


I've been taking anti-depressants...

For a while.

I haven't told anyone.

You know, not even Chris.

You know, i don't know why...

I feel so embarrassed...

About taking them.

And it's probably because there's nothing you know, there's nothing wrong with my life.

I should be happy.

But there's this...


And I don't know where it comes from.

Well, I can understand that.

The drugs are...

They're weird.


Literally haven't cried in five years.

Yeah I don't have that particular problem myself.

Can I ask you something?


Why don't you talk to Chris about it?

I don't know.

There was a time when I... I would have.

But things, things are just kind of changing they're just, changing now.

How so?

Bryce is off to college and Theo is right behind him.

Chris is almost 64 now.



I mean I knew he was older i didn't really think he was that much older.

Yeah well, you know.

-It's not nothing. -Yeah.

I've loved...

I've loved...

Being a mom to those kids you know.

I just, I don't know what it's going to be like when they're gone and sometimes i look at Chris and I think...

Oh, my god!

Am I going to be taking care of an elderly person soon?

I knew it, you know I knew it.

Going in but somehow...

Being faced with just the two of us alone in the house.

I don't know.

It's real now.

-Yeah. -I get it.

-Hey. -Hey, what?

You know, I want to say thank you.

Why, what for?

For tonight.

For remembering my pink and purple jelly beans

you know.

For never making me feel, wrong...

About who I am.


I just...

You're embarrassed on my behalf.

No, just had a though and it's...


Nothing, no really...

I just told you something that I never told anyone and I thing you should...

I was thinking about...

Our first time.

In the back of this truck. At the lake.

All 38 seconds of it.

Oh, shut up. I was excited. I was sixteen, okay?

I've developed some serious skills since then, in fact I've been servicing the entire Tucson, Arizona area...

-With... -What are you, a plumber?

It's funny though 'cause...

Never really been like it was with us.

For me.

You know, that's a nostalgia thing.


-So it's... -Yeah.

This is same for me.

-Really? -Yeah.

It's something about those dumb kids.


-Pain is something. -Yeah.


It's magic, yeah that's right.



Will you kiss me.

I know what I'm asking for...

I love you.


I have to go Jim.

-Amanda. -Jim, please.

Listen, I don't want you to go.


Please, will you just please give me a minute.

Okay, listen.

It's confusing I get it, okay I just want...

We can talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it.

I should not have let this game go on for so long.

This is not a game to me though.

Do you understand that I am married?

I understand.

Do you know what that means?

I belong to someone else I understand...

Will you please give me a little bit of room.

Fuck is my coat?

Where did you get this?

It was in your closet.

You just took it?



Well, it's addressed to me.

First of all.

And second of all

I wanted to read it.

Well this is just a game to you, Amanda then why do you need to read a letter that I wrote to you 22 years ago?

What is this... What could this possibly mean to you?

You know, i don't know.

I just wanted to read it.

This is my letter.

-I know that and I'm sorr... -No I don't think you understand that.

I think you need to understand something that this is my letter.

Okay, this belongs to me.

And you can't come into my house, and just take this and do what ever you want with it, without asking me, because it's mine too.

You understand me?

What is this?

That was my baby too.

Okay? It was ours.


It was ours.

You just fucking...

Why did you?


Why did you do that?


Why did you do that?


I was a scared kid!

I didn't know how to handle it.

You had to give me a minute.

You fuckin' went away.

You were the one who told me that we were too young.

I was scared. Why did you fucking do it?

It was our life!


When we were so happy.

We lost it.

We lost everything.



Oh god!



Take a deep breath please.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry too.


I need you to understand something.

I didn't just irrationally make the decision to do what I did.

And I know...

I see now that it was incredibly hard on you.

But I was the one who had to go in there and actually do it.

Actually go through with it.

You know?

And I do get that I didn't handle it well, I didn't...

I just... I tortured myself.

Going over the options, alone in my bedroom.

Going over and over, what I should do.

And then you sent me that stupid note.

Making all those weird, sarcastic jokes and...

And then you sent me that stupid get well soon balloon, a balloon, Jim.

I don't know there was something about it where it became so clear to me that you were too young...

To handle it.

We were too young to handle it.

And I knew that I was gonna have to go through it alone and I knew I couldn't, do it alone.

And you know...

Do I have regrets? Yes.



What can we do?


Please. You just read it now.

"Amanda, I know we can get through this together.

You are my world.

I will never stop loving you."

It was the first version that I wrote to you.

Why didn't you send this to me?

I was scared.

It was just stupid. I'm sorry.

I'm contagious.


Now it's just never gonna stop.