Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please.
What you are about to experience is not a show for entertainment.
It is a review of the down-to-earth events that made the American frontier.
In less than 15 years, this great nation will celebrate the 20th century.
We do not know what glories await us in the future, but we do know the past that laid the foundation.
And that foundation was not built from heroes, but from the anonymous settler.
Their home was but a shack roofed in with sod.
Oft-times, the floor was made of clay.
One door shut out the wind and storm, one window greeted the dawning day.
These brave souls survived not only nature, but the savage instincts of man.
Paving the way for the heroes that endured.
Hey, Ned! Get the rifle!
Welcome, then, to real events, enacted by men and women of the American frontier.
To whose courage, strength, and, above all, their faith, this piece of our history is dedicated.
Cease the action!
From the beginning. One! Two!
Isabel! Are you wearing your costume?
I want everybody wearing their costume for the next rehearsal. There's been an acc...
Oh! What is it?
The horse stepped clean through him. That's a real thing.
Ssh! Don't touch him!
All right, everybody get Eats Rabbit to the dispensary right away.
It's not Eats Rabbit. It's Brown Horse.
Dart, you guys, help take him over there.
All right, now. Be... Be careful with him, now.
Tell Joy that she should not get on the horse from the back.
Looks fake. We're in the authentic business.
I was thinking if we use some fire, set the cabin on fire.
Fire? That's not a bad thought at all.
So, one morning, I'm wandering through the camp, and I spot this... this scrawny-lookin' kid, lyin' underneath the wagon.
I drag him out, I take one look at him, and I know I can make him a star.
I ask him, "What's your name?"
He says, "Cody, Bill Cody."
I say, "What do you do?" He says, "I'm a scout and a buffalo hunter."
Well, I'm really gonna write about somebody, because I got a batch of exciting new plots I might take to Hickok, except I'm mad at him.
So I say to the kid, "From now on, your name is Buffalo Bill, "and in six months, the whole damn country's gonna know about you."
If we then had an Indian on the top of that tower, he could shoot a flaming arrow right into the settlers' cabin. That would give us the punch we need.
At a church service in Deadwood City, I met, and rubbed elbows with, a young man named William F. Cody.
I was so impressed by his skill as a marksman, and his success as a hunter, that I nicknamed him "Buffalo Bill".
Hey, Nate, take a look at this. How's the healin' comin'?
Come and see how good she's doin' with her left hand.
Show him, honey.
Watch this, Nate.
That's just like the old Missy.
And, sure enough, in a few months those stories come out, they're a big success, and the kid comes lookin' for me, scared to death about the legend I created, but real excited about his new fame.
And, again, I say just one thing, and only one thing.
I say, "Bill, any youngster like yourself
"who figures to set the world on fire, "best not forget where he got the matches."
I want you to back me up on this against Bill.
Yes. The Indian music in the settlers' cabin is the wrong ethnic. It's too Ukrainian.
In all my years in the show business, I have never, ever...
Well, when I was a stock actor, there was more organization... which is why you've gotta make it clear to Bill just how serious this situation could be.
Is this something I have to pay attention to right now?
What is this, Ed?
Are you listenin' to me, Nate?
Excuse me, boys, we're trying to have a conversation here about Annie Oakley.
Don't mean to press you on this, but I am Annie's husband, and I have a solemn duty...
Damn it, Nate, are you gonna tell Bill or not?
Maybe you'd... better speak to him yourself, Frank.
What can I do for you gentlemen? All right, 1 will.
Mr. Butler... What?
Major Burke's in there with him now. He doesn't wanna be disturbed.
Oh yeah? Well, this is damned important. Now, he said...
Bill, I don't... Good to see you, Frank.
Listen, er... my glass got empty somehow.
Could you put a coupla fingers in there for me? Maybe a fistful.
Thank you, Frank. My pleasure.
Now, if you don't wanna be Mexicans, I'm sure we can find some very, very good people who would like to be.
Oh, no, sir. We still want to be part of the show.
You do? You wanna be Mexicans? Well, no, we don't wanna be Mexicans...
You know, when I was traveling with the troubadours, there were times when I was asked to be a colored.
Now, do I look like a colored? Oh, no, no, sir.
But when I had to play a colored, I was a colored.
I thought a colored, I drank a colored, I walked a colored. I was a colored.
All right, you can be Rodriguez and Ricardo.
You can be Morales and Miguel. You can be Los Gatos Grande.
"Los Latiguerros de Mexico." That has to do with whips.
Okay, that's it. Los Latiguerros de Mexico.
I'm gonna give you an almost top spot...
Listen, Frank, would you mind gettin' out of the middle of my...
Conference, Bill. My conference here, and wait your turn like the others?
Ed! Yes, sir?
I thought I said no interruptions. Yes, sir, Uncle Will, but...
Then honor my wishes! Yes, sir.
Adios, pard. Wish me luck.
John, you got me, you don't need luck.
Remember, anything historical is mine.
Everything historical is yours, Bill.
Here we go! Leaving by way of the dispensary?
Hey, yes, come on. Giddy-up!
Major? Giddy-up! Yes, sir.
"Bull's eye. Heroic villains. Revolutionize. Injuns. Whites."
What's the plot, Major? The plot! The plot!
Why don't you string those pearls together and devise us a nice little Buffalo Bill fable, uniquely original?
Let me read it when I get back. All right.
I'll even give you the legend.
"Enemies in '76, friends in '85."
Godspeed. Giddy-up, boy!
Excuse me, I, um...
Ah, the Shakespeare of the half-dime. Sit down.
Something's up, Ned.
Bill and Nate sent Burke outta here on the fly.
Have you got any ideas? Burke gave me a few clues.
"Injuns and whites, heroic villain, 50 bucks a week, "foes in '75, friends in '86."
"Foes in '75...
"friends in '86."
Well, that shouldn't be hard to figure.
Nate and Bill are in the big time now.
They can afford to spend fifty bucks a week.
Now, tell me, what Injun villain do you know who's worth that amount?
Sitting Bull. Sitting Bull?
Why, sure. Is he tame?
What about the Army? The Army would love it.
They can't shoot him now.
Not till the Sioux chiefs sign those treaties.
So, they put him in a Wild West, make a broad-assed fool of him, the rest is easy.
A rock ain't a rock once it becomes gravel.
What'd he mean by, "the rock's gravel"?
Just Buntline's way of saying he's lost his power. He's tame.
Mr. Keen! Every great author has his literisms.
Mine are, um... revolving around... Mr. Keen, I heard the new act's General Custer's brother.
That's not what we heard, Eddie. No? Who'd you hear it was?
We know who it is, Ed. Who? Tell me.
Sittin' Bull? Sitting Bull.
Sittin' Bull? I didn't know he was interested in the show business.
If he wasn't interested in the show business, he wouldn't have become a chief, Ed.
In my youth, I fought with a young brave of the Sioux tribe named Standing Bull.
And I beat him.
When he sat on the ground after the fight was over, and swore revenge on me by all the gods of heaven and hell I laughed at him, and I called him "Sitting Bull".
I tell ya, there ain't no business like the show business.
Now, a whole lot of folks are saying that Bill's drinkin' has destroyed his memory. But it ain't so.
Besides, Bill wouldn't let anything do a harm to his regard for history.
So you can put those stories to rest.
But Bill's drinkin'... well, that's a different matter.
Why, just two months ago, Nate Salsbury asked Bill to become a foe of the cork.
And Bill promises solemnly that he'll never be seen under the influence again.
Until one day, Bill tells Nate he's been givin' the subject a great deal of thought and he figures that he'll need at least one drink a day.
Now, of course Bill's daily ration is in a schooner, the size of a small shipping vessel.
♪ Verse-moi, verse-moi I'ivresse!
♪ Réponds a ma tendresse
♪ Réponds a ma tendresse
♪ Ainsi qu'on voit des blés... ♪ Here's the man you've all been waiting for, the man whose place in history, and solid character, has made him popular throughout the continent!
Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, America's national entertainer.
Let's put one all together now for William F. Cody, Buffalo Bill!
You see that girl on the left there?
Again! The one that works in the laundry, Annie?
Little Joyce? Don't point.
I saw her the other day, between the tents, and... and she was huggin' a man.
Ed, don't talk to Annie while she's using live ammunition.
Your hand is shaking. Honey, I'm doin' the best I can.
I'm fighting wind out here.
Get everybody to the podium, for notement.
The entire company to the podium, for notement!
On the triple! Hurry up! To the podium!
You look very stylish, Missy. One more, that's all, honey.
Then you've got to rest. Down. both Buffalo Bill and I had our reservements about the show.
Perhaps we'd bitten off more than was chewable, and that by enlarging our show we had possibly disimproved it.
Oh, that's fine, that's really fine.
Oh, Bill, Bill, I have got to talk to you about a mat...
What's up? We got a serious problem on our hands.
Uh-huh. Ned Buntline's back again.
He is? Yep.
D'you hear that? Why didn't you tell me? even down to the Indians.
Now, Nate Salsbury doesn't long-wind, but he does wanna say he's proud that you're proud to be part of America's national family.
And you, too.
Nate! What, Bill?
Anyway, Bill, I know how damned upset you'd be if he was to write anything harmful about our Annie.
Buntline's on the ground. I know. He's back at his old table.
But all you have to do is give me the word, and I'll arrange for him to leave.
Appreciate your concern, Bill. I couldn't do that, Nate.
You go on over there now, and get rid of him without me tellin' him.
And don't you tell me that you told him.
Well, what's goin' on over there? It's, er... Brown Horse's funeral.
I told you three days ago, we lost him.
He was a Shoshone, wasn't he? He was.
Ah. You know, er...
I won the Medal of Honor for killin' every Shoshone in a raidin' party in '72.
Doesn't seem that long time ago. Yes, sir, you rode into the valley of death, and rode out again.
Remember, son, the last thing that a man wants to do is the last thing he does.
Nate. Bill, it's the best rehearsal yet, and your... your entrance was the top, it was tremendable.
That was a good idea of yours. What was that?
Givin' the Injuns slower horses.
Money in the bank!
Oh, remember what I told you about tellin' me.
Right, I won't tell ya.
Business is good! And it's gettin' better.
That's 'cause times are bad, and gettin' worse.
That's when the show business flourishes, when times are bad.
Hope it stays that way!
Well, I'll be Goddamned if it ain't Nervous Nate.
Buntline, you're not doing anybody a favour by being here.
I ain't in the favour business, Nate.
I want you to leave my camp, right now.
It surely is your camp, ain't it?
And a damn fine job you're doin'.
Much better than I could've ever done.
What a fine citizen you're makin' out of Bill.
Why, it don't even seem like the same man anymore.
Never gets into trouble. Never looks bad in public.
All I care about is the Wild West.
I'm going to Codyfy the world.
Now, why didn't I think of that?
Because I'm the only partner Bill Cody ever had who tells him the truth.
And, in the end, we always agree.
I was taught that, when two partners always agree, one of 'em ain't necessary. Look, Buntline, we've just signed the most futurable act in our history.
So I don't want anything, or anybody, creating problems.
Who's that? The act?
Sitting Bull! Well!
Nate, that's quite a coup.
But, you tell Bill Cody... that I ain't leavin' till he comes in here and personally invites me out.
"We have one of the great chiefs of the Sioux tribe, "Sitting Bull, here with us.
"And he is going to be in the same arena
"with the noblest whiteskin of them all.
"I'm also speaking about the, er...
"the great counterpoint:
"Sitting Bull and William F. Cody, Pahaska."
John's gonna ride to the top of Bill's list for this one.
"Charm, urbanity, sincerity, sweetness, and youthfulness speak of the man
"as the recreation of God in human form..."
Uncle Will, you only got a few minutes. Mm-hmm.
He must be the big one in the red blanket.
Sure don't look like no ordinary Injun.
I ain't buyin' no ordinary Injun.
Go on and help Nate with the welcoming committee.
Thank you, son.
Good trip? Hello, Johnny!
How are ya? Great, great, great event.
Buck! Good day!
Got more scalps than any other Indian chief alive.
But he ain't so big.
All set? Number four, "Major Burke's Return", down stick.
Is this where you're gonna be? Right, whenever you're ready.
We have met the enemy, and he is ours!
Ah, that gentle Sweeney!
A melody for every momentous moment.
♪ Well, hello
♪ Buffalo Billy... ♪ Where's Bill? I don't know.
Come here, Mr. Buntline.
Come over here, and look at Sitting Bull.
The son of a bitch must be seven foot tall.
He's getting smaller every year.
Ah, I'm ready to dispose of my prisoner.
Sweet McLaughlin, you are now in Codyland.
Sitting Bull is no longer your prisoner, but a star in the Buffalo Bill heavens.
As far as I'm concerned, he's a murderer, and he's my responsibility till I turn him over to Cody.
Just let me introduce Mr. Nate Salsbury.
Nate, you must meet this remarkable character.
This is James McLaughlin of Standing Rock.
Yes, he'll be here momentably, er... Trust you had a pleasant trip?
I had a miserable trip. I don't like horsebackin', especially deliverin' Indians to some damn circus.
Ah, one thing the Wild West show is not is a circus.
This is all just part of the show business, part of, er...
Buffalo Bill's unerring sense of theatrical timing.
That's my star.
He belongs to all of us, Nate.
I hope you had a comfortable journey, Major.
Bill, dear Bill. Major.
In this moment, fraught with friendship, with history humming harmonic overtones, Bill, I have the distinct pleasure of presenting Chief Sitting Bull.
Chief, it gives me pleasure to present to you the Honorable William F. Cody, Buffalo Bill!
Well, I would just like to take this occasion to congratulate you on your safe journey, and to extend a titanically momentous welcome to Buffalo Bill's Wild West.
Now, me and my staff are simply the best at what we do.
And what we do is to make the best look better.
Now, when you find out what we got planned for your act...
Golly, it's the runt!
My name's William Halsey.
Chief Sitting Bull has chosen to speak through me.
Many moons of his incarceration has emptied his strength, and he wishes to rest.
What's an incarceration? Jail.
Well, er... Halsey, Halsey... That's a white name, isn't it?
Got a little white blood in you there, Halsey?
Halsey, you tell your chief that the people standing in front of him are... are part of the finest spectacle in the history of the show business.
I've watched 'em all grow from raw, plain talents into... personages of importance.
Now, you tell your chief that we can do that for him, too.
And I promise you, after even one season in this show, he'll never, ever be mistaken for a below average, run-of-the-mill, forgettable Indian chief.
Plus he's gonna have something to fall back on in his later years, something that, er...
Long trip, huh, Chief?
I just wanted to welcome you here, and most specifically to Buffalo Bill's Wild West.
You'll find that it, er... ain't all that different from real life.
Come on, Brigham!
Why didn't you tell me? I thought he was the big one, too!
Where'd you get that idea? How big is the little one off the horse?
Oh, um... Burke!
Don't worry, Nate. He's big enough to fill the arena!
So Sittin' Bull's the little fella, huh?
He don't look so savage to me.
I'm gonna sleep with a shotgun under my bed every night.
You know, Sittin' Bull's famous for scalpin' folks in their beds.
I sure hope Bill can handle him.
I don't think it's dispropriate to play a personal chord here.
Now, we all know sociable chaff is cheap, but history... real history, is hard come.
And the man I'm about to celebrate is not a mere personation of a patriot,
but the true monarch of genuity.
Scout, showman, family person, valued partner...
America's national entertainer, William Frederick...
Bill... Uncle Will!
Nate, we got a hitch.
Sittin' Bull don't wanna live with the other Injuns.
Wait a minute. Hold it, boys!
Now, what was that?
Sitting Bull doesn't seem to like his recommodations.
Well, what's wrong?
He didn't exactly say, Uncle Will.
He just said he wants to live across the river, on the flat ridge.
He wants to live across the river!
If you're smart you'll lock them dog-eaters in the stockade.
Nobody can cross that, Bill. Not us, not you, nobody.
Gentlemen, that particular river is impossible to cross.
We've already lost, I don't know, three horses, six Blackfeet Indians, and a bargeload of show equipment, valued at... what is it, $16,000?
What about if he does get across?
Man crosses that river, he deserves the land.
Gentlemen, he could be in a strategic position to escape.
You can't get there from here.
Impossible to cross, huh?
Boys, that's exactly where I want Sittin' Bull, on that flat ridge up there.
You see, that way I can watch him all the time from my chair here.
See, I'm smart enough to know that the difference between a white man and an Injun in a situation like this, is us whites are smart enough to know that an Injun always turns down your first offer.
Laugh it up, boys!
Uncle Will, how did Sitting Bull cross the river?
Er... good evening, Mr. Halsey. Why are they coming?
Shall we holler for help? We are the help.
Shouldn't we holler for help?
I'll handle this with Bill.
Bill, Sitting Bull's on his way here. He seems to have his whole group with him.
Our unpredictable friends seem to be on the warpath, and they're moving in this direction!
I see 'em!
Uncle Will, they crossed the river again, and they ain't even wet.
They did, huh?
We're with you, Bill.
Sonia, finish that later.
Twilight raid, huh?
Tell me, what have you got on your mind?
Sitting Bull has said that he is here by the will of the Great Spirits, and, by their will, he is Chief.
His heart is red and sweet, for whatever passes near tries to lick him with his tongue, and the bears taste the honey, and the green leaves lick the sky.
If the Great Spirits have chosen anyone to be leader of their land, it is Sitting Bull.
Halsey... you tell Sittin' Bull that Buffalo Bill says his leaves can turn whichever way he wants, so long he knows which way the wind is blowin'.
I think I gave him back the same kinda murky logic that he gave us, whaddaya think? Mmm.
Halsey, what Buffalo Bill means to say is...
Buffalo Bill doesn't need an interpreter, Burke.
What Buffalo Bill means to say is that Sitting Bull is here to relive great moments of his history for the pleasure of thousands of payin' customers.
Sitting Bull says that history is nothing more than disrespect for the dead.
When'd he say that? He don't even look interested.
Sitting Bull's mind is rested and clear, and he is ready to negotiate.
What are you talkin' about? That's already been done. Right, Burke?
Burke?! Oh, right, right, right.
Sitting Bull wants blankets.
Well, they're cold.
Do you think we could write eight, ten, twelve blankets into the deal?
Sitting Bull wants blankets for all his people at Grand River.
Well, now, wait a minute!
What do you think this is? An Army surplus store?
There are only 106 Hunkpapa Sioux left at Grand River.
God, Burke, five years ago we counted ten thousand braves alone.
Mr. Halsey, the Wild West is delighted to give the blankets as a gift to those people.
Burke, get a story out on this on the transmit right away.
I'm sure we can get features... You got it, splash it over the front pages.
"The benevolence of Buffalo Bill." Great human interest stuff.
A fascinating follow up to the historic events of today, Chief.
All right, negotiations settled.
Weary, weary, but there's no rest for the press.
Get over there, and see that he don't steal anything.
Sitting Bull wants six weeks' salary to send to his people now.
He wants what? I thought Burke took care of that?
What the hell is goin' on here? Music box. Makes music.
♪ O come, let us adore him. O come... ♪
What's that supposed to be? Ed!
Didn't make this thing deep enough.
Mr. Halsey, what you're talking about is prepayment, and we don't do that without a contract.
Also, he will own his own photographs.
Hell he will!
I got all photographic rights and historics!
Sitting Bull says a man may never let go of his face.
Therefore, he will own his own photographs.
That's highway robbery, and he knows it.
Ed, would you... I ain't gonna put up with it!
You ain't gonna put up... We ain't gonna put up with it!
It's bedlam in here. I can't think.
I'm gonna lie down and take a nap.
Stop the singin'. We lost the moment.
Are you gettin' sharp with me, Bill?
You've upset Buffalo Bill.
Halsey, tell the chief we pay for work performed. However... if he wants to put his signograph on a six-months contract, that's another matter.
Ed! Let it be!
No contract. Why not?
All the other top acts have them.
Sitting Bull will not make a contract he may not be able to honor.
Why wouldn't he honor it?
Sitting Bull stays only until he sees the Great Father.
Great... You mean the President? Yes.
Did Burke promise you that?
Sitting Bull no longer accepts promises from white men.
His dreams told him that this is the place he would meet the Great Father.
Sitting Bull is here because he dreamed he'd meet President Cleveland?
Dead on, Bill.
Well, what does she have to say this time?
"Dear husband, your deeds as a frontier hero are pale compared to your adventures with opera singers and milk maids."
Dead on, Bill!
"You are also the cheapest man who ever lived, "and a profane drunkard as well."
That's Mr. Oakley there. Name's Butler, Burke.
Oh, Frank, Frank, sorry!
Jesus! Hold it, honey.
"therefore, I have instructed my lawyers to draw up divorce articles
"that will ensure our separation for good, "and make me a rich woman in the process."
Now, I want you to miss this one, just till you get the feel of it.
Take your time.
You can miss by a lot, darlin'.
That was good. That was right in the middle.
Did you wanna hit it in the middle?
"...your wife..." Heave!
I'm gettin' some longer cigars from Jules.
I think you'll feel more comfortable with 'em.
Buffalo Bill, monarch of the West, it delights me to present this compellingly cornucopious canary, this curvacious cadenza in the compendium of classical chanson, this collation of champagne and columbine, this cultivated coloratura from Colorado... words fail me... Lucille DuCharme.
Of course. Handel's Rinaldo.
♪ Che crudel! ♪ Double heave!
Why, what a shot you are!
My second husband, Count Eggenweiler, was a champion trap shooter.
Trap shootin's a different thing, ma'am, not takin' anything away from your second, er... deceased... husband. He used a shotgun that sprayed.
The pistol's a more... exactin' weapon.
Burke, would you take the young lady to my, er... private viewing chair?
Hey what's goin' on out there? I wanna show Bull his Custer act.
Well, they're just waiting for the down stick. Here's your scenario.
Aha. About Cleveland.
At the first, he's marrying some society deb at the end of the month.
The second, he's got a Republican Congress to contend with.
I think we can safeably advance Bull the money he wants.
I mean, if he's waiting for Cleveland to show up, we've got him for life. Mm-hmm.
Bring Sittin' Bull and Halsey over here.
You keep those tune tempos tight, Bill!
Is the Grey all right? Yeah.
She'll be ready to dance tomorrow.
Er... Halsey, er... if you and the Chief will follow me, in just a few short steps, he's gonna become part of America's national family.
If you're gonna watch, watch from the other side, Buck.
All right, Izzy? Okay, short boss.
Oh, er... by the way, you can tell the Chief we've decided to give him the two-week salary as token of our friendship.
Sitting Bull admires the big Grey.
Say hello to Buffalo Bill. Poor thing is frightened.
That bird can't get out of there, can he? Oh, Bill!
I hope you realise that we're the only producers to have the courage to show the red and the white without taking sides.
Hello, there, Chief. Which way are your leaves blowin'?
Nate, you'd better get this thing goin'. Down stick!
"I see General George Armstrong Custer
"leadin' the courageous men of the 7th Cavalry
"deep into the Injun territory known as Little Big Horn, "exhausted from carrying the wounds
"of a cowardly Sioux ambush from the day before.
"Suddenly, Injuns appear, "led by the fiercest Injun of 'em all, "Chief Sittin' Bull!"
Oh, Chief, we got a colored stand in place for you
'cause he's the closest thing on our staff to a real Injun.
"Custer knows it's gonna be the fight for his life."
"Sittin' Bull uses an old Injun ploy.
"He fakes Custer into thinkin'
"it's gonna be an honorable duel to the death
"between the two great leaders.
"George gets shot in the back by all the other redskins.” Sitting Bull says the battle did not happen that way.
Sitting Bull was not present on the battlefield.
He was making medicine, and dreaming.
He saw many horses upside down, and blue skeletons floating up to the promised land.
Halsey, I think...
What'd he shoot that gun for?
Hey, Chief, put that gun down. You're gonna hurt somebody.
Sitting Bull thinks you're a great marksman.
He can see how you killed so many of his buffalo.
♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager
♪ Und griin ist sein Kleid
♪ Und blau ist sein Auge Jd Nur sein Herz ist so weit Jd Nur sein Herz ist so weit
♪ Mein Jager
♪ Kennt Wege und Spur I Und Madchen bertickt er
♪ So viel er nur will ♪ Someday, my hair's gonna be as long as Custer's...
♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager
♪ Und gran ist sein Kleid
♪ Und blau ist sein Auge
♪ Nur sein Herz ist so weit... ♪ Margaret!
♪ Nur sein Herz ist so weit
♪ Mein Lieb ist ein Jager
♪ Kennt Wege und Spur... ♪ Margaret, I've been sittin' here thinkin' about us.
I'm glad, Bill.
The more I think about us, the less I think about Sittin' Bull, and... that ain't good for the Wild West.
I'd never interfere with the Wild West.
The point bein'... that little bastard ain't gonna make my life easy.
I can't deal with him and deal with you, and... be my best at the both, so... what I'm tryin' to say is, I think it's time for you to go.
Oh, no, Bill, no.
And the quicker you go, the quicker you can start missin' me.
♪ Alas, my love, ♪ You do me wrong
♪ To cast me off
♪ For I have loved... I
Margaret, go on.
What the hell are you doin' here?
Sitting Bull has come to tell you what he will do in your show.
God, the sun ain't hardly up yet!
Sitting Bull's thoughts do not have a time schedule.
Let me see if I can get myself together.
Go on, sit down. Tell Sittin' Bull to sit down. I'll be...
Jesus Christ, what an hour.
What... What's goin' on?
I don't know, but... you keep your eye on him.
I'll go get your uncle.
What's happening? Get Burke.
Goddamn Injun caught me with my...
Bull woke everybody up. Bad Bull!
"My father has promised me this land, "and, in protecting it, I have had a hard time.
"The rivers flow with the blood of my people.
"The wind blows the echoes of lies.
"The white man has stolen the truth."
That is a great and classic Indian face.
You'll build a village at Killdeer Mountain.
Sitting Bull's people will be working.
Children will be playing.
They're waiting for Colonel McLaren and his horse soldiers to talk peace.
The Sioux will have no weapons, and embrace the soldiers with open arms.
Then McLaren will slaughter every man, woman, child, and dog in the village.
It'll work. Nate, you're losin' your grip.
We can still do the Indians attacking, just we're gonna add music.
That is what Sitting Bull has chosen to do.
Chief... we haven't had a heart to heart, and I think it's about time.
See, I've listened to Halsey.
He's got a lot of guts, 'cause he did... insult me in my own house.
He called me a coward. Said I murdered, er... women, old men... er... children...
Er... you're not gettin' much of this, are ya?
You got till noon to get outta here!
You're finished! Fired! Through!
I can't believe that little runt'd treat me like that.
It's harder bein' a star than an Injun.
Everything on this table I'm takin' with me.
And... what's this? How did I ever...?
Annie, I'll pack your guns now. Oswald, don't touch my guns!
Uncle Will... somethin'... awful bad... Annie...
We already know, Eddie. She's leavin'.
We're talkin' about that. Nate, she goin' through with it?
Looks like it. I spoke with her, Burke spoke with her. Frank...
She seems dead set about it. Frank, is that right?
'Fraid so, Bill.
You know I can usually steer her wherever you want her to go, but not this time.
Why is everything such a big problem around here?
Frank, is it a matter of money?
Well, money might help. Oh, come now, Frank.
Money has nothing to do with it.
What we're talking about here is Annie's principles.
What about my principles? What about 'em?
I think you should have her leave. Nate!
They're hard lines, Nate, but... Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I can't let her go. She owes me too much.
I'll go down and talk to her, but I ain't changin' my mind about that Injun.
You're right. Hold fast on...
Bill, if it comes up, or if it'll help at all, you can tell her I love her.
And you take this.
How would you like this?
Here, take it.
Come gimme a hand.
We got problems. No problem, Bill.
You know, I could expect disrespect from anybody except you.
Oh, this is pretty! I'll take this.
Why are ya sittin' in the middle like this?
What did Bull ever do for you?
He wanted to show the truth to the people.
Why can't you accept that just once?
Because I got a better sense of history than that.
Besides, I say what goes on in this show.
Not some Goddamn Injun runt and his half-assed half-breed!
Got any whisky around here? Annie, where you want this chair?
If you send Bull to Standing Rock, they'll kill him.
That is not my problem.
You can have this. It'll just about fit you.
Do I want this? Here.
The little bastard can stay!
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Nate Salsbury and, on behalf of my partner, Bill Cody, we want to welcome you to the season's opening show of America's...
Mr. Cody, we're ready for the Grand Parade.
How's the hat? Fine.
You didn't even look at it.
Buffalo Bill's Wild West!
And what would the Wild West be without brave cowboys?
Mr. Cody, you're on in two minutes. I heard you the first time!
Darlin', you have to go in the carriage. Will you stop nagging?
I'm not naggin', honey.
And the dynamically decorative Dubuffets!
What a beginning, eh, folks?
It's a full house, Mr. Cody!
Oh, God, they're gonna whip up all kinds of dust. Where's Oswald?
I think he's one of the cowboys.
As the brave cowboys assume protective positions so that you, our honored guests, will be able to witness the true wildness of the West, without bodily risk from nature's fury.
And pursuing the brave, invulnerable buffs is our star, America's national hero, Bill Cody... Buffalo Bill!
Let's hear it for Buffalo Bill!
Yes, he was truly born to entertain.
No ordinary man woulda had the foresight to take credit for acts of bravery and heroism that he couldn'ta done.
And no ordinary man could realise what tremendous profits could be made by tellin' a pack of lies, in front of witnesses, like it was the truth.
No, Bill Cody could only trust his senses.
And when his senses fail him, he might just see things as they really are.
And now, as the trooperies reassemble... would you join in the singing... of Buffalo Bill's favourite American song... by Francis Scott Key...
'O Say Can You See...
It's Buffalo Bill's belief that this could, and should, be the next national anthem.
Would you please rise.
♪ O say can you see
♪ By the dawn's early light
♪ What so proudly we hailed
♪ At the twilight's last gleaming
♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars
♪ Through the perilous fight
♪ O'er the ramparts we watched
♪ Were so gallantly streaming?
♪ And the rocket's red glare
♪ The bombs bursting in air
♪ Gave proof through the night
♪ That our flag was still there
♪ O say does that star-spangled
♪ Banner yet wave
♪ O'er the land of the free
♪ And the home of the brave? ♪
And now, to open our show in the big way, Buffalo Bill and Nate Salsbury present a feature attraction unique and unparalleled.
The foremost woman marksman in the world, the little girl of the Western plains, the peerless Lady Wing-Shot, Annie Oakley!
Fairest flower of the West!
Assisted by Frank "the world's most handsome living target" Butler!
Say hello to Frank Butler!
Tell him to get the cigar steady! Move it up a little bit, Frank.
Ah! Hey! Look at that! She did it!
Right smack in the middle! She did it!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
We love you, Annie. Real good, honey.
Speed it up! Speed it up!
Make sure you get 'em running.
Come on! Move it on out!
Run it again! Come on, faster!
Pick it up! Faster, now! Come on! Faster!
Come on, get back on it! Faster! Faster!
Move it! Move that horse!
For her grand finale, Miss Oakley will attempt, for the first time anywhere, the two-for-one axe shot.
She will split a bullet with the axe.
Here! It's here!
Thereby hitting both targets simultaneously.
You can take your sweet time on this, honey.
They'll wait forever. total concentration, so please can we request... Watch my head. that you remain as quiet as possible.
The bullet will split and hit those two targets.
Is... Is that possible? It's never been done before.
Come on, honey.
Oh, how close!
A graze! A graze! Once again!
She missed, but so close!
Give her a big hand, ladies and gentlemen!
Nate, once again! Again!
What? Frank, again.
Oh, no, Annie, you don't have to do that.
We love you anyway. I can do it, Frank.
Oswald, get back.
Wait, honey, I lost my hat. Frank...
You 'bout ready?
Stay with us, Lord. One more time.
Annie Oakley! Annie Oakley!
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Yeah! Honey?
Honey, where you goin'? He moved it.
Honey, please, take a bow.
Thank you! Frank, what are we gonna do?
I don't know, Jules, but I can't do the damn act myself.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we want you to meet a man who can stick to any animal that wears hair.
Say hello to the King of the Cowboys, Buck Taylor!
All right, pull banner. Is the old man ready?
Is the old man ready?!
Sitting Bull, you're on next!
Halsey... you can tell Bull he's finally gonna discover what the show business is all about.
He's gonna come back in here, and get down on his knees to me to do the Custer act.
Bull's gonna suffer a worse defeat than Custer ever did.
Custer could die. Bull's just gonna get humiliated. the most murderous, the most colorful redskin alive.
Here he comes, the battling Chief of the Hunkpapa Sioux, Sitting Bull!
♪ ...durch die Gestrauche blinkt
♪ Uns Licht uber den Rasen streut ♪
♪ Und die Nachtigall flétet
♪ Wandl'ich traurig Von Busch
♪ Zu Busch
♪ Uberhtillet vom Laub
♪ Girret ein Taubenpaar... ♪ Oh, what's the matter, darling?
Don't you like that song?
♪ Wandl'ich traurig Von Busch zu... ♪ Morning! You're up.
Listen, I, er... I'm really sorry about last night.
It was the first show of the season, and the boys like to kick up a little dust.
I don't like to have them drink alone.
I must have been kind of a disappointment.
You look awful pretty in that light.
I've become something of a morning man.
Now, there's no pressure. You see, at night...
And the whisky we get here is, er... kinda dulls the...
You haven't said good morning to the Flying Dutchman yet.
Hi, bird. He's all right in there?
I mean, he doesn't have to get out a lot, does he, or...?
Oh, what are they doing to that poor little person?
They're just horsin' around. Oh, Bill, you gotta go help him.
Stop them. They might hurt him. Please!
Don't you look, baby. Terrible!
You just stretch out there. I'll be right back.
Nasty, nasty men, baby. Don't look.
All right, boys! All right!
Buck, put him down. My God, it's like a bull fightin' a flea.
Yeah! Put me down! When I get down from here...
You big ape!
Son of a bitch! What?
Buck! Let me down from here!
Nate! Nothin' but squaws over there.
Nate! Burke! Get over here!
Goddamn! What is it?
Frank... Wait! Stay behind the tent!
Try to get up there. Go on.
What's the commotion? Come here.
What's the problem, Nate? Well, take a look up there, and you'll see the problem.
What were you doing?
Oh, I was just having a little conversation.
'Course you were. You always are.
What's goin' on? What do you think's happenin'?
Sittin' Bull's makin' his exit.
I wonder where that little son of a bitch went?
Buck Taylor, get over there across the river Right! and see what's goin' on.
Uncle Will... I'm busy, son.
Look at that boy go! Rides like the wind!
Er... the Injuns. Where?
My God, is that...?
Why is it so dark in here?
Hey, son, get down!
Boys, I want a posse. A tough posse. We ride in ten minutes.
There's no way to outfox a fox.
No, we're not taking this lyin' down.
You sorry son of a bitch! Now where you goin'?
Oof! Damn. Damn! What's wrong?
Well, I got trouble on my hands.
Not that little cowboy? He wasn't hurt or something?
No. Injuns. The Injuns?
They've escaped. All of them?
No, just the dangerous ones.
I gotta go get 'em.
How long will you be gone?
As long as it takes.
You know I'd never let anything come between us and our little... unless it was somethin' real, like this.
Goddamnit! Where's my real jacket?
Hey, let's go get Bill.
Well, posse's formed.
You know, knowing that you're... layin' there waitin' for me will only serve to stiffen my resolve.
Oh, my baby!
How could you be so clumsy?
You could have harmed him.
I hate birds!
Cody, don't you ever harm my Flying Dutchman!
Ed, what are you doing on that horse?
I'm goin' with you, Uncle Will. Get down off that horse.
Your mother'd never forgive me.
Jules, get on the horse.
Get on the horse!
We're with ya, Bill.
Darlin', don't worry. Pray for me.
Now, where's that Injun, supposed to be on this gate?
When Bill's dressed for a ride, and mounted on that high-steppin' stallion of his, any doubts concerning his legends are soon forgotten.
Yes, Bill's fine physical portrait hides whatever faults his mind might possess.
But even the least seasoned of trappers will tell you:
"if you don't know what it is you're truly after, "you're better off staying at home."
There they are. Uncle Will!
Uncle Will! Control yourself.
That'll teach Sittin' Bull a lesson.
It's a question of law and order, Annie.
Uncle Will knows the law, and Sittin' Bull's out of order.
Well, here they come. All right, up stick.
Now, as soon as they come over that little ridge, we're gonna...
Wait a minute.
I don't see Sitting Bull.
That's odd, they're not there.
They must be there. Maybe they're in the back.
I don't see Sittin' Bull.
I don't see no Injuns.
Maybe they just didn't find 'em.
Oh, sure, they found 'em.
No Injun's ever gotten away from Uncle Will.
Maybe they're dressed in some of our clothes.
All right, up stick. I think that's them.
But no down stick. Just up stick.
They're not there.
Oh, my God.
I don't see any Indians with 'em.
That's 'cause there ain't no Injuns with 'em.
Bill is the greatest Indian hunter of them all, and he led fifteen of the greatest trackers into a territory that he knows better than the back of his own hand, lookin' for an old man, a giant, and five boys.
It's not your fault, Bill.
We made it clear from the very beginning that we have a camp, not a prison.
Nate's right. We're not in the prison business.
Better get to McLaughlin and tell him that he's gone.
"Sitting Bull escapes middle of the night
"after first trying to burn down the arena."
I sure thought you'd catch him.
Uncle Will, they weren't that far ahead.
Ed, why don't you go close the gate?
Never saw him refuse a drink before.
I don't care what anybody says.
God bless Buffalo Bill!
God, he shot himself!
Get outta here! Sit down!
Thought it was you! What are you doing?
Bill, slow down!
Well, I hate birds!
I hate birds, too.
Bull and Halsey are out there. What? How?
They must have tracked us.
Come on in, boys!
Couple of those big buff got loose. We had to go chase 'em down.
Too bad you couldn't join us.
Where were you?
It's the first moon of the month.
That's not what Buffalo Bill asked you. Now, where the hell have you been?
During the day of the first moon, Sitting Bull visits the sun in the mountains while his squaws move the teepees to the moon's path.
Damn it, Halsey, stop sunning and mooning us.
Now where the hell have you've been?
You were up in the mountains, huh? Yes.
Don't you think that's a little dangerous?
Sitting Bull is familiar with mountains.
What if I had sent somebody after ya?
Sitting Bull was not hiding.
Sitting Bull has been with the mountains, and he realizes now that he must do more in the show than ride the pinto.
Well, there we are, we're back in business.
Foes in '76, friends in '85.
Burke, I still don't know what he's talking about.
Would you care to explain that?
Sitting Bull has decided that he will do the only thing that he sees here that he would want to show his people.
And what's that?
Sitting Bull will make the big Grey dance.
Responsibility's a funny thing.
It's a lot different for stars than it is for ordinary folk.
Oh, please, Mr. Buntline, this man is in pain.
That's why stars spend so much time in front of the mirror.
Seein' if their good looks and their word delivery can overcome their judgment.
Not now, Mr. Buntline, please.
When a star like... like Buffalo Bill Cody makes a judgment, it becomes a commitment.
It's got to stick, no matter what the risk.
The only way... that I could have avoided seein' him on that mountain is if he never went to that mountain at all.
Now, I can understand why he lied to me, because... he's gotta look good in front of his people, the same way I gotta look good in front of mine.
But I am generous and flexible.
That was very good, "generous and flexible".
Ladies and gentlemen, please, will you try to find the places that we have specified for each and every one of you?
Welcome, braves. We welcome you with open arms.
Wranglers! Wranglers on the Deadwood coach!
Go easy there. I know the ladies in the interior perhaps like to be bounced around once in a while, but it wears out the equipment, and it blurs the picture.
This is an extremely impressive assemblage. Now, pay attention.
Nate? Er... would you convey to Buffalo Bill that we are ready?
I'm generous and flexible... Bill? They're ready.
Bill! I'll be there!
Each of you is an outstanding personage...
Generous and flexible. Lin his own self.
That includes you Indians, too. Don't forget that.
I choose to overlook the entire incident. face the camera with all the confidence in the world.
You're the best there is. There isn't anything better.
A hundred years from now, this picture will still be in existence. Remember that.
This is the way people will remember you.
Bill, good morning!
Ladies and gentlemen, Injuns I didn't know you were ready. I'm sorry.
We... We just got ready.
Look at the birdie!
I don't want Sittin' Bull standin' next to Annie Oakley.
'Cause I don't want Sittin' Bull standin' next to Annie Oakley.
Fans won't like it.
Have him stand over there with the other Injuns.
I don't want Sitting Bull standing next to Annie.
It'd be a better idea, I think, in view of the sun factor, if you and, er... the Chief would move over here among the other Indians.
Sitting Bull will stand by Annie Oakley.
Er... no, don't worry about how you feel about where you oughta be.
Just come on over here where you should be.
Sitting Bull will move from this place for twenty-five American dollars.
Halsey, you're in Codyland...
I swear that Injun plans these things.
All right. Now, what do you wanna do?
Let him stay where he is.
We're gonna put Halsey's face and hat on Buck Taylor and Sittin' Bull's on Johnny Baker, and vice versa.
That way, those two Injuns will be over there with the other Injuns.
And don't show him the photograph.
Er... Buffalo Bill's right. It was better the first way.
Make your photograph.
All right. Closer!
Everybody hold your breath, now!
Hold it a minute, Brewster. Hey, Dart! Dart! Pss!
Come here! Go on, I'm gettin' my picture took.
What? Wayne, will you... What's...
Dart, will you go down and find out what's the matter with that darkie?
Never gonna get my picture took!
What you want, Wayne?
There's a wire just come in from the President of the United States.
Now, damn it, Wayne, don't be funny at no time like this.
Look, I'm tellin' you for real! It's down there. Tell 'em.
There's a wire comin' in from the President of the United States.
You know I wouldn't lie to you 'bout anythin' like that.
That's too important.
Is that right? Let me show it to you.
Well, who told you? You can't read neither.
You more trouble than you worth.
I was standin' right here when it was comin' in.
You may take the photograph now.
Injuns gear their lives to dreams.
And when an Injun dreams, no matter how far-fetched, he'll wait till he dies for it to come true.
White men, they're different.
The only time they dream is when things are goin' their way.
I'm no expert on the subject, but it seems to me that what Sittin' Bull does is a hell of a lot cheaper than mountin' a Wild West show, which is just dreamin' out loud.
"The Honorable William F. Cody.
"Grover Cleveland, the President of the United States, "has chosen to celebrate the first stop
"of his honeymoon excursion with the former Frances Folsom, "in Buffalo Bill's Wild West camp at Fort Ruth.
"The scheduled time of arrival
"is Thursday, October 18th at eight o'clock p.m."
We've never done a night show before.
President Cleveland comin' here?
Uncle Will! It's just like in Sittin' Bull's dream.
I bring up this dream business because... well, because things are beginnin' to take on an unreal shape.
Ah, now, now, just think for a minute.
Just put yourself in that Injun's place.
You sit in your teepee, and you dream.
And then you go to wherever the dream might take place, might come true.
Then you wait for real life to catch up.
Mr. President, Mrs. Cleveland, honored guests!
I'm Nate Salsbury.
And I can tell you that Nate Salsbury has never been as proud in his long career in the show business, as he is tonight to present our very first after dark request performance.
And to dedicate it to you, our highest American, and your fine new wife.
Ed's in the box. Burke's up there in the box.
Laughin' and jokin' with the President while we're stuck down here in the cold.
Now there is a star!
Sure big enough, isn't he? God, he's bigger than Buck Taylor!
He's a hell of a lot bigger than you are.
God, he's the biggest man I've ever seen.
Meet America's national entertainer, the man who is the Wild West, the honorable, William F. Cody, Buffalo Bill!
Mr. President, Mrs. First Lady, distinguished visitors, I wanna take this occasion to welcome y'all to my Wild West.
Most people'll tell ya that it is the father of the new show business.
And, well... may the sun never set on this great nation, unless it comes up again in the mornin...
Mr. President, our weddin' present to you.
Buffalo Bill writes all of his original sayings himself.
All great men do.
He's quite a horseman. The greatest horseman in the United States.
One, two, three, one, two, three...
Just like day, darlin'.
What a shot!
He loves us!
Sleeves. Come on!
Isn't that amazing, my dear?
Ready? Ready. Ready, darlin...
Ready, darlin'. Okay?
You hit him, Annie. I think you hit him.
Honey, end it. Honey!
She got him. No more, no more. End it.
It's part of the act. No, no, everything's quite all right.
Is this part of the act? Is this part of the act?
Get out, quick. I'm gonna faint.
Oh, my God, I'm bleeding to death.
But don't run. I gotta get out. I'm gonna fall down.
♪ The ambush and slaughter no longer be feared
♪ The tomahawk buried shall rest in the ground
♪ And peace and goodwill to the nations abound
♪ And peace and goodwill
♪ To the nations abound ♪ Presenting Chief Sitting Bull!
What's he saying? I don't know.
I don't understand a word he's saying. Do you?
No, but I can guess.
What! He was joking.
Oh, he's got a sense of humor.
His way of making the Grey mare dance.
I don't care if he is an Indian, that's un-American.
To Sitting Bull and his dancing Grey!
Or President Cleveland's closest call!
Right, get ready.
We're not bringin' everybody in, because, you know, we have hundreds...
And everybody remember, be polite, be brief, and most of all be yourself.
Remember, it's the President of the United States. You look fine.
No, wait one second.
Is everybody ready here? All ready, Nate.
It's very kind of you to do this. It's gonna mean a great deal to the troops.
Well, it'll mean something to us too, you know.
Thank you very much. All right, come ahead.
how exciting it's been for me to be back at the Wild West show.
I feel so grateful for...
Thank you, sir. By the way, how are you feeling?
Did you get hurt today?
No, no, no, no. Annie never misses.
Oh, I see. Well, you know best!
Thank you, sir. And what do you do with the show, sir?
Oh, I do the, er... Mr. Major!
You should get together with Sitting Bull.
Both of you scared the daylights out of me today.
Move it along, Buck.
You had a very fine act. Thank you, sir.
You boys are splendid. How do you even think of this act?
God, I'm gonna need this.
Frank, where've you been? I'm pregnant.
You're what? Pregnant.
Congratulations, Miss Poole.
I sang it at the Teatro Del Roma. In Roma, you know.
And I sang...
♪ Una voce poco fa
♪ Qui nel cor mi risuono
♪ Il mio cor...
Ain't never seen black eyed peas like this.
You were impeccable. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Here we go. Come, come! Champagne and refreshments for everyone.
Grovie? Can Nina sing now? Oh, yes, my rose petal. Go ahead.
Ah, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you.
Our distinguished and delightful First Lady has an announcement to make.
And now, for your entertainment, my dear friend Miss Nina Cavallini will sing...
'Qui sola vergin Rosa'.
'Qui sola vergin Rosa', in Italian.
Thank you, Nina.
♪ Qui sola vergin Rosa
♪ Come puoi Tu fiorir?
♪ Ancora mezzo ascosa
♪ E presso a morir
♪ Non ha per Te rugiade
♪ Gia colta sei dal gel
♪ Il capo tuo Gia Cade
♪ Chino sul Verde stel
♪ Perche sola ignorata
♪ Languir nel tuo giardin?
♪ Dal vento tormentata
♪ In preda a un Rio destin?
♪ Sul cespite tremante
♪ Su colgo giovin fior
♪ Chi su questo core
♪ Cosi, morrai d'amor ♪
You know, that's the nicest invitation I ever got.
Impossible to resist.
What a cultivated lady she is. I'm always trying to spread culture.
Why don't you plan to stay around for a few days?
And I'll show you what the real Wild West is like.
I'd love to, but my secret life with General Benjamin is, er... wild enough.
Magnificent. Thank you so much.
Yes, it was a... Actually, it was a...
Bull, what are you doin'? Halsey, what's he doin' here?
Great Father is here in answer to Chief Sitting Bull's dreams.
This party's by invite only, and you don't have an invite.
No more, Bull!
That way. No, no...
Let them in, Mr. Gordman. Goodman.
Ha. Come in. The chief is a wonderful comedian.
Good to see you.
Great Father, Sitting Bull has waited to ask you a very simple thing for his people.
Mr. Halsby, I remind you that, in government, nothing is simple.
This simple request will satisfy Sitting Bull's people for the length of time, Great Father.
Let me point out that I'm "Great Father" for only four years at a time.
I face a Republican Congress.
I suggest you deal directly with your local agent.
We have talked to the agents. They will not help.
Well, isn't that an indication your request is impossible?
But this request is very simple.
Halsey, the President's tryin' to tell you that nothin' ain't simple. Don't you understand American?
Sitting Bull's request is simple.
Sitting Bull's dreams told him that he would meet the Great Father here, and he had hoped the Great Father would honor his request.
I'm very sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do about it.
But the Great Father has not heard Sitting Bull's request.
That's just the point. It doesn't make any difference.
It's out of the question.
Well, what a confrontation, Mr. President.
He's angry with you. I know.
It's been some day we've had here.
Oh, please. We've had a delightful day with you.
Mr. President, I now understand why you're our President.
It's uncanny. That basic pioneer perception.
You see, the difference between a President and a Chief in a situation like this, is the President always knows enough to retaliate before it's his turn.
Write that down. I'll use it at the Convention next month.
Well, Mr. President, I...
I know you're tired and wanna hit the hay.
My personal bed is at your disposal.
Oh, Buffalo Billy! That's very nice.
Ain't hardly even been used.
Where will you sleep, Buffalo Bill?
You could sleep with me, Uncle Will.
I wanna sleep out on the prairie underneath the moon, and listen to the lullaby of the coyotes.
See, I ain't always been a comfortable man.
You know, it's a man like that that made this country what it is today.
Hello there, Dart! Oh, hello, Mr. Cody.
Get your work done, boy? Yes sir. Everything's all spick and span.
Well, that's nice. You know, it's too bad the Injuns can't learn from you coloreds.
But then of course they'd have nothin' to fuss about, and Injuns do like to fuss about.
Yeah, they do.
You know, Mr. Cody, I ain't never thanked you for givin' me the opportunity to work for you.
Well, don't thank me, son. I mean, it's just part of my upbringin', to help the coloreds all I can.
How's that, sir?
Well, my daddy was killed tryin' to keep slavery outta Kansas.
How'd he do that, sir?
Well, my daddy hated slavery with such a passion, that rather than lettin' the coloreds get in to becomin' slaves...
Uh-huh. he just fought to keep 'em all out of the States.
Oh. He was tryin' to protect ya.
And he caught a knife in his lungs for the trouble.
Sorry, you wanna come in and have a drink? I'll buy you one.
You can sit up front with me.
Oh, no, no. It's late, sir, and I ain't got time to do that.
Oh, and I've gotta go feed your horse. Thank you for askin'.
A little of the Old Bonded there, Crutch. Hello, Mr. Cody.
Well, I'll be damned! Buffalo Bill himself.
Buy an old friend a drink, Bill? Another glass.
I was beginnin' to think you didn't exist.
But here you are in the glorious flesh, and what a sight for sore eyes!
Oh, you sure passed me by.
Like plantin' a seed, and watchin' it grow into a tree, too tall to climb.
You got everything you ever wanted, my friend.
You even got the President of the United States sleepin' in your bed, right now.
Let's forget all that stuff, Ned, and get drunk.
I can't forget it, Bill. Just lookin' at you reminds me of it.
It's a living. Oh, no. Way past a living.
Why, a hundred years from now, they'll still be shoutin' your name.
You're not one of the boys no more, Bill.
You're not like ordinary folk.
Why, it gives me goose bumps just bein' this close to ya.
You still got the knack don't you, Ned?
You make it easy, Bill.
You were probably the best there ever was.
And I'd like to have you back with the show.
Frankly, Nate can't stand the sight of you.
Guess nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
You ain't changed, Bill.
I ain't supposed to. That's why people pay to see me.
This has been the most soberin' experience I've ever had.
Damn near a religious awakening.
The thrill of my life to have invented you.
Crutch? What do I owe you for my stay?
Nothin', Mr. Buntline. You don't owe me nothin'.
Thanks, Crutch. 'Cause that's what I got.
I'm off to California to preach against the vultures of Prometheus.
I'll see you around.
See you in hell, Bill!
Buffalo Bill! Buffalo Bill!
Bill, I wanna cut the glass bowl shootin' today.
What the people really want is to see you ride.
Sure, Nate. You was just in Europe, wasn't you?
Did you give my regards to the Queen?
Yes, they're still talking about you, Bill.
Can't wait for your return.
Bill, this'll be our biggest year yet. We're gonna gross over two million dollars.
Listen, did I ever tell you that I hold the record for a continuous ride on the Pony Express?
322 miles in eighteen days. Oh, I know.
Sit down and have a drink with us.
No, it's too early for me, Bill. You're lookin' great, just great.
Yeah, well, I feel great. I feel great.
Feel as though I could go on forever.
Marty, did I ever tell you that I hold the Pony Express record for a continuous ride? 320... well, some odd miles and eighteen horses...
People might get the wrong ideas, you understand?
Goddamnit, you mustn't talk like that.
What's goin' on? Trouble? Oh, big news. Big news.
They shot Sitting Bull.
I'll be damned. Oh, my God.
Oh, honey, don't cry. It's all right.
Annie? What is it? What's... What's...?
What's the matter? What happened to Annie? Sitting Bull's dead.
McLaughlin's police, at Standing Rock.
They say he was trying to escape.
He was ridin' the big Grey Bill gave him.
They say the horse danced when they shot the Chief.
Who's gonna tell Bill? Nobody.
There's no point bothering him with that.
I don't dream.
Must be somebody out...
We're not alone.
Oh no, don't buckle. He ain't really there.
That is wiggling. Rain.
Cost me a lot of wampum.
A lot of wampum.
Well, all right. All right, suit yourself.
You ain't even the right image.
Halsey! Get out here!
Tell the Chief I think you've got all the brains. I'll tell him myself.
Halsey's got all the brains.
Except Halsey, he don't mean a word he says.
Which is why he sounds so real.
Let me show you somethin' about... about real.
I was what? I was a boy. I was a... eleven-year...
I was nine.
I caught this big buff, right smack in the middle of...
God meant for me to be white.
God meant for me to be white.
And it ain't easy.
I got people with no lives...
They're livin' through me.
They're proud people, but they're people to worry about.
And another thing.
My daddy died without ever seein' me as... as a star.
Tall... profitable, good lookin'.
Custer was a star.
Oh, he was a good man.
Gave coffee and sugar to the...
Oh, don't do that. He was a good man.
He gave the Injuns reason to be famous.
Bull! Damn you!
You see, in a hundred years,
I'm still gonna be Buffalo Bill, star!
And you're gonna be the Injun.
My God, look at you. Look at you.
You wanna stay the same.
Well, that's goin' backwards!
Buntline... Oh, damn you, you deserter.
I'm curious, Chief.
My friends are curious. My women are curious.
My fans are curious.
And they pay me for it.
I give 'em what they expect.
You can't live up to what you expect.
And that makes you more make-believe than me, 'cause you don't even know if you're bluffin'!
The difference... between a white man and an Injun, in all situations, is that an Injun is red.
And an Injun's red for a real good reason.
So we can tell us apart!
So we can tell us apart.
My God, ain't he ridin' that horse right?
Well, if he ain't...
then how come all of ya took him for a king?
I ain't got nobody to talk to.
And you ain't even there.
Well, carve it.
Yeah, carve it...
All of us.
Carve our names!
And celebrate the event.
Ladies and gentlemen.
For the first time in the history of the show business, Nate Salsbury and William F. Cody present a conflict between two of the greatest warriors in the western civilization, staged with spectacular realism.
Behold Chief Sitting Bull, warrior of the western plains, who has murdered more white men than any other redskin, who has spoiled more white women than any other redskin.
This bloodthirsty leader of the Hunkpapa Sioux has challenged Buffalo Bill to a duel to the death!
Sitting Bull is being played by William Halsey.
Buffalo Bill, known as "Pahaska" to the natives, which means "long hair”, accepts the challenge for his beloved country.