Bulletproof (1996) Script


I believe in America.

I believe in the American Dream.

I believe in the American way of life, that every American should have an honest job, a family, and a home to call their own.

And two... Two cars in every garage, you betcha.

What does this car do for 100 grand?

Play with your nuts while you drive?

That would beat the shit out of cruise control.

Anybody who'd drop 100 grand on a car deserves to get it stolen, then deserves to get the shit kicked out of them.

I'm driving. Hell, no.

What are you talking about, "No"?

You drive like that kid Corky from Life Goes On.

Well, you drive like a goddamn maniac.

Why don't you yell louder? I don't think you woke anybody up yet.

You're wrong. Uh-oh.

See the size of that guy's gun? That was a big gun.

What's wrong with you? You said the guy wasn't home.

We got company. Aw, shit!

You're gonna fucking kill me, man! I got shit to do tomorrow!

No!

Watch it!

All right, all right, people.

Oh, shit!

We didn't hit them.


Okay? You happy? You messed with me.

Why are we parked in front of a police station?

Yo, Officer.

Excuse me.

You smoke crack tonight or something?

Shh. It's gonna be fine. Yeah.

Yo, could you help a brother out? We trying to get to Disneyland.

The two of you are on your way to Disneyland?

Yeah, this is my retarded friend.

He's from Arkansas somewhere and he wants to go to Disneyland.

You want to go to Disneyland, man?

Disneyland.

See? It's Disneyland.

Where? I love the way he says Disneyland.

Say that again.

Disneyland.

He loves Disneyland. So that's where we're trying to go.

All right, go east on 10.

Right.

When you get to the five, you go south to Anaheim.

There are signs all over the place.

So the cop, not only was he stupid and gave us directions, my man drew us a map to this place.

Yeah, right, he got me, but you do that again, I swear to God...

Hi, Mimi. I got it. Let's see.

You can get drinks for everybody, okay?

Thanks, Archie. All right.

To the Rock and Archie Show.

You know that.

Yo, man, there's something I ain't understanding here.

Now, everything we get we split down the middle, right?

Of course. We're partners.

Tell me, partner, why your bankroll always fatter than mine?

You got money problems?

I mean, it ain't no shit I can't handle.

Well, whatever's mine is yours. You know that.

Yeah, I know that.

I like that.

Easy, lover boy.

Any woman that fine got to have a man running around here somewhere.

30'? ♪ SON t?

You fight like Peter McNeeley. You want to get your ass whupped again?

That's the beauty of having you around, man. You got my back.

You hope.

What? What do you mean, "What"?

I heard you calling me over here. I didn't call you over here.

My friend said you wanted to make out with me.

He said you said that. Are you kidding?

What? He's the one who said it. I will if you...

What's up?

What the fuck do you think you're doing?

Oh, shit.

I know it looks like I was hitting on your girlfriend here, but in actuality, I was fucking hitting on her harder than you think, motherfucker.

So why don't you step the fuck back before I bitch-slap your fucking hiney?

I'm gonna kill you. Hey, my man. Ls there a problem here?

Yeah, there's a problem. Fucking snatch face is a fucking problem.

There's things I ought to do to you... Archie, chill.

I'll bite your fucking ear off!

Arch, chill. I'm trying to chill!

Daddy dipshit won't let me!

He's driving me nuts with them crazy eyes and that armpit stench!

Okay, okay, 0K8)'-

Apparently you all got some shit to work out.

No, we worked the shit out. It's all worked out.

I'm glad we worked the shit out. Let me buy you a drink.

Kick him in the balls.

Now it's on, motherfucker!

Keats!

Man, not like that.

So, what's up?

Like this.

That's the old-school shit.

Honey! Oh, muffin!

Oh, honey, okay. How's your twinkie?

Yo, man, what kind of nasty-ass meat is that you're eating?

Look like some shit out of Jeffrey Dahmer's refrigerator.

Thanks, man.

All right. Thank you.

All right.

Let me tell you something. I do got some shit going on.

That car-stealing shit we've been doing, that's fine.

I have a good time doing that with you, but I got...

My serious income is coming from this guy.

I am telling you, he is the biggest drug lord in the West. The biggest.

Get out of here.

Ron, of all your inventions...

Hey, look. My mother just started using that stuff. It works.

And two... Two cars in every garage, you betcha.

Check it out. There's the man himself.

You all come on down to Cotton Motors. Fetch you a piece of that American Dream.

What do you do for the car guy?

I'm the point man.

I set up drops and meet the shipments.

All I got to do is make sure Mr. Colton is happy.

If he's as large as you say he is, then he's got to be happy.

I've been thinking about this shit and you need money.

Basically, you're the only guy I've ever trusted in my entire life.

So I was thinking I could talk to Mr. Colton about bringing you in.

Yo, I'm just a petty car thief, man.

You talking some all-industrial-type shit.

I swear to you, it's very, very easy.

It's easy, huh? Are you in or what?

I trust you, man. Put me down.

You're doing the right thing.

All right, Mo, you want a ride?

No, man, I'll walk it. You sure?

I ain't gonna drive with you if I don't have to.

All right. Keep it real, son. All right.

Police! Freeze! Hey!

The party's over, Jack!

If you move, I'll blow your goddamn brains out!

You're breaking my arm, Miles Davis.

You fucking pussy! Hey, relax.

What are you and the black in the hat doing following me around?

We was just in the neighborhood.

Did you have fun at Disneyland?

Here he is, Captain.

Anybody ever tell you you look like a struck match?

What's the word, Rock? Jack? Whatever your name is.

The word is, El Capitén, this last year of my life is about to pay itself off.

What are you telling me?

What I'm telling you is Archie Moses is taking me to meet the man and finally Frank Colton is going down.

Congratulations, Jack.

You bring down Colton, it's gonna make your career.

Hey, man, I don't even care about that.

All I care about is putting that scumbag behind bars where he belongs.

There's a shipment coming into San Pedro next week.

It's supposed to be huge.

When do you meet with Colton?

Moses is gonna introduce me tomorrow.

You're gonna wear a wire.

I don't know. Jack.

It's a good idea to wear a wire.

I'll sleep on it.

Disneyland.

What?

Nothing.

Just something Archie did. He's crazy.

Are you getting sweet on this guy?

No. Let me tell you something.

You pal around with somebody long enough you forget he's the bad guy.

So why don't you tell me about your damn self, Mr. Keats?

Well, the truth is, there ain't much to say.

I did some time up north for breaking and entering, a little armed robbery, petty shit like that.

What about references? Do you trust this man, Moses?

Mr. Colton, I trust this guy with my life.

That's good.

I mean, because trust is a very important commodity in business.

True that. True that!

True that.

And I want to tell you who I trust.

I trust Moses here.

Thank you.

And I trust my colleague, Mr. Bledsoe.

But most importantly, Mr. Keats, I wanna tell you who I don't trust.

I don't trust you.

Yo. Hey!

See, I don't trust you, 'cause, hell, I don't know you.

Mr. Colton...

Search him.

This is bullshit. He's my friend. I don't wanna search him.

You search him, not 'cause you want to but because you have to, you understand?

Jesus!

Mo, this is like some embarrassing shit, man.

I know this guy like I know myself.

If he's a cop, I'll suck your dick, Mr. Colton.

Jesus. I'm sorry, bro. See? No wires.

Well, hell, search him.

Nothing.

Well, fine. If you don't ask, you never know.

You know what I'm saying? You understand me?

Now, remember, nobody moves until Jack gives us the word that Colton is on the premises.

Understood?

Listen, Cap. Yes, Jack.

I want to be the one to bring Archie in.

What?

There's gonna be a lot of testosterone flying around here today.

I don't want none of these overzealous assholes putting any dents in Archie.

I knew it. You are sweet on the son of a bitch.

Hey, look, I know him. He's not that bad...

He's a low-life scumbag! Then he's my low-life scumbag.

And who knows? After this is over, maybe I can help him get his life back together.

You look tense, man. Relax. It's gonna be all right.

Relax. It's just a nice, little friendly doggy.

How you doing, buddy? Long time no see.

Oh, my God! You like that, huh?

He's licking me. He loves me.

No, he just licked his balls, and he's trying to get that nasty taste out of his mouth.

Hey, Ese, don't shoot. It's me.

How you guys 010mg?

Colton didn't say nothing about no new guy.

All right. Rigo, meet Rock Keats.

Yo, what's up?

What is it about you? Nobody likes you except me.


What you see right there is 100%, uncut, grade-A heroin.

Yo, where's your boy Colton?

Don't worry. He's gonna be here to check up on my shit.


Let's go. UP- UP-

Come on. Good job. A little quicker, fellas.

What do you keep looking around for?

You better back up off me. What's your problem?

What the fuck you looking for?

Hey! Relax, man.

You better tell Tattoo here something.

This fucking maricén is making me nervous.

He acts like a cop.

He's not a cop! He's my friend, so take it down.

I don't know that.

You think he's a cop? Is that what you think?

Well, god damn it, he's not a cop. Take a look!

Satisfied, scumbag?

Fucking piece of shit!

We move now. What about Colton?

To hell with Colton! Move! Everybody, move!

Archie Moses, you're under arrest.

You better be messing around.

You have the right to remain silent. You were like my fucking brother!

Anything you say... How can you do this to me?

Moses, stop!

No!

What the fuck is wrong with you, man?

No one hurts him. That's the deal.


Come on, Moses.

If you come out now, maybe we can make a deal.

Don't you talk to me about making any deals, you lying sack of shit!

Come on, Moses. Give yourself up.

You're gonna get yourself killed here.

All right, Officer Keats. You win. I'm coming out. Don't shoot.

Come on, Moses.

I'll blow this dog's head off his fucking body. That's a promise.

You drop your goddamn gun!

No, you won't. You love animals.

I hate dogs!

Get out of here, you stupid, ugly dog!

I'm trying to save your life here.

FUCK you!

No. God, no.

Oh, my God. Jack's down.

Get that son of a bitch!


Bledsoe, it got all fucked up in there. Where were you guys?

We had a flat tire, asshole!

God damn it.

This little fuck-up of yours cost me millions of dollars.

I'm very, very mad.

I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

"I'll suck his..." No, wait. "If he's a cop, I'll suck your dick."

I'm close to that particular quote, am I not?

I don't think I did say that, actually. Maybe Bledsoe said that.

Here's your last meal. I hope you enjoy it.

Don't do this, please. You don't need to do this.

Get this damn mutt off me!

You slimy rat bastard!

God!

Let's move it!

Blood pressure dropping! He's bleeding out!

To the Rock and Archie Show.

You know that.

How long?

Basically, you're the only guy I've ever trusted in my entire life.

Disneyland.

Welcome back, Jack.

Take it easy for the time being.

Getting back on your feet isn't going to be easy, but you're in good hands.

This is Traci Flynn, our new physical therapist.

Hi.

Keep me posted.

Good.

Bring it down.

Come on, Jack. I want you to make it to the end of the bar.

Pull it forward. There you go. Put your weight on it.

Bring the other one forward.

Five. Five. Let's go.

You're doing all right.

Come on, Jack. You're ready for this.

I'm proud of you.

The ghost himself.

Not even a bullet in the head could stop him.

One millimeter to the right or left and he'd be dead.

Oh, man, I wouldn't want to have to mess with him.


Sir!

Sir! Sir!

Where you headed, sir?

I'm going to Mexico. I got to start my life over.

I'm gonna be a bullfighter.

Have you been drinking, sir?

I had about a half a beer, but the dog had a lot.

Would you mind stepping out of this vehicle and walking a straight line?

Oh, yeah. No problem.

So you got Archie Moses. What does that got to do with me?

Archie Moses is gonna turn state's evidence.

He's rolling on Colton? Uh-huh.

Colton wasn't too thrilled with Moses for bringing a cop into his organization.

He's had a hit on him ever since.

So now that Moses is up against it, he's ready to give us Colton on a platter.

Jack, Steve Finch, DEA. He's calling the shots on this.

And what the hell is he getting out of this?

Commuted sentence. How commuted?

Still to be determined.

Oh, bullshit! How commuted? Take it easy.

That little asshole shot me in my head!

Now I got this bigger asshole telling me he's getting away with it!

Asshole?

Jack, that's not how it happened.

Moses will do the time. You know what?

You and the DEA figure that shit out. I don't want nothing to do with it.

Hold on a minute.

The deal with Moses.

One condition.

What condition?

I don't know why he wants you to bring him in, and I don't give a shit!

With him, we finish what we started. No.

You don't have to be afraid. We'll send in a team for backup.

You think I'm afraid of Moses?

After the way you treated him, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to put another bullet...

Hold on. Take it easy.

You're right, "Stench." I am afraid of Moses.

I'm afraid if I see him again, I'll kill him.

Come on.

What do you want?

Let someone else bring Moses' stupid ass in.

Far as I'm concerned, this shit is over for me.

You know your cop buddies? They all say the same thing.

They say you're not the same man, Jack.

They say that when you got shot, you lost a piece of yourself.

I didn't even know you then, but do you know what I think?

I think they were right.

What are you talking about? I'm happy.

Come on. You pretend that you like your job.

Any fool can see that it's making you miserable 8 hours a day, and you pretend that Archie Moses doesn't exist, which is making you miserable 24 hours a day!

If you don't finish this thing with Archie Moses...

Come here.

You're right. As usual, you're right.

Okay, little Keats. Sit.

Good doggy. Now beg for your life.

That's right, little Keats.

Come on. You can do it. Let me hear you cry.

No good. Bang!

Gotcha.

Poor little boy.

Surprised you showed up.

Why isn't this prisoner in cuffs?

There he goes, being a cop again.

He wasn't going anywhere.

You cuff him. Arms, legs, feet.

I want his asshole cuffed to his nuts and then put him on the plane.

Before you do that...

See you later, buddy.

Man's best friend right here.

You like that?

He's licking me 'cause he likes to lick me, not 'cause he's trying to get close to me and then fuck me over.

Do I speak with an accent? No.

Then cuff the prisoner!

Don't you even wanna know why I asked for you, Keats?

I know why. You wanna finish what you started.

But I'm warning you, Archie Moses.

I'm looking for an excuse to kill you.

If you sneeze, if you fart, if I even smell your breath, I will shoot you dead.

How about if I chew loud?

Sometimes when I eat, I chew loud.

You gonna shoot me?

I ain't gonna try anything, and you're so wrong about that day.

You know what?

I don't want to hear nothing you have to say about any subject at any time.

And, yes, I will shoot you if you chew loud.

Man down! Sniper!

Shit! They're trying to kill me! Get your ass on that plane!

Hustle! Let's go!


What the hell is going on up there?

Shit. The pilot's dead. I got 1,000 hours.

What? I got 1,000 hours flying a plane.

Oh, bullshit!

Mr. Colton's in the import/export business, remember?

Here, buddy. Sorry.

Fly this baby. No. Not until you apologize to me!

What? Apologize to me!

You did some shitty shit!

You better hurry!

I swear to God, if you don't fly this damn plane, you're gonna experience death, then déjé vu.

Fly the goddamn plane!

You're a bad person.

I can actually taste my nuts! Oh, you're killing me! Again!

Mayday. Mayday. Does anyone read?

"Mayday?" What is this, a Kirk Douglas movie?

Is everything a joke?

You're wasting your time.

Can we make L.A.?

Not without gas.

They blew our gas tanks!

Oh, shit!

We're probably gonna crash headfirst, right?

I'll be in the back sitting on the black box.

Here we go now!

Oh, God! Stop! Stop! Stop!

I saved our fucking life!

I have some advice for you, Keats, right now.

Don't move.

Do not move.

I said don't move!

I didn't move, asshole! The damn plane is starting to slip.

Slow.

Easy.

Don't yell.

The echo, the vibration makes it move.

We have to whisper. Whisper.

Oh, shit! That ain't working either!

One.

Two.

Three!

Man, that was God's way of telling you to let me go, I think.

Yeah? We must serve different gods, because mine is saying shoot you and throw you over that cliff.

Well, I don't like your god.

Your god scares me.

I'm your god right now.

You're a piece of shit, you know that, Keats?

Sometimes I wish that bullet really did kill you.

You better watch what you say to me.

That's pretty sick, man.

You pretend to be my friend for a full year and then you bust my ass.

That takes somebody really cold-blooded, man, somebody not even human.

I was doing my job! When are you gonna understand that?

Yeah, well, now bringing me in safe and sound is doing your job, and you're gonna do your job, 'cause that's the kind of cop you are.

Am I right, Officer Keats?

You're right.

Now, in case you're wondering why that hurt so much, it's because I have a metal plate in my head, compliments of you.

So from here on in, you'd better watch what you say to me.

Seriously, Keats, you blink and I am out of here.

Oh, really? Yeah.

You show up to L.A., you got nothing but your ding-dong in your hands.

Which reminds me, I got to take a leak right now.

Piss in your pants. We're not stopping.

Piss in my pants? I haven't done that since I'm 24.

Seriously, man. I got to take a leak.

I got to take a leak!

You have 15 seconds.

Fifteen seconds ain't gonna cut it.

I got to unzip, I got to shake. That takes time.

You have 10 seconds.

Oh, God!

I know you ain't gonna believe me when I tell you this, but that day you got shot, that really was...

Time's up! ...an accident!

I'm not finished! Yes, you are.

Come on. My pants!

Get up!

I got piss on me!

That was a big mistake, making me piss my pants like that, man.

'Cause it's payback time.

I don't know when, but I got a good feeling it's when you're sleeping.

'Cause I know you're gonna sleep soon enough.

And then guess what. I'm gonna piss all over you.

See, that's worse.

It's my piss on me right now.

You can deal with it when it's your own piss.

But you're gonna have my piss on you, and that's gross.

I'm getting other people to piss on you.

I'm getting animals to piss on you, man.

Cows, pigs, I'll get a whole farm to piss on you.

What kind of weird place is this?

Hey, all right. They got porno.

Can I help you, gentlemen?

I need to use your phone.

Charlie, is it?

Charles.

I saw the sign, man. You guys got a lot of porno here?

Yes. We have an excellent selection.

Great. I like the porn.

Well, good.

Hey, Cap, it's me.

Yeah, someone tipped Colton off about the pickup.

We got word. We heard about the attack.

Jack, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay. Listen, who's there with you?

Finch.

Okay, we're in a motel outside of Flagstaff.

A little place called the Hunting Cap Lodge.

We'll find it, have someone there first thing in the morning.

Somebody from that area.

Okay, let's keep this between us, all right?

Can't trust nobody right now.

Being up in the sticks, you must lose your mind around here.

Nothing else to do. You whack off a lot?

What's a lot?

Well, you know, you got five minutes off, you got nothing to do, you stumble into one of the rooms, pull down your little panties, whack it.

Excuse me.

We need a room.

You guys aren't... You know?

It's been a long day. Just give me a room.

Okay.

Just fill this out, please.

Charlie, come here.

Jeez, man, I wanna talk to you.

He says he's not gay, but let's see what a few drinks and a back massage will do to him.

That might gay him up a little. Don't you think?

Look at him.

The way he's standing. He's not gay, huh?

He's waiting for you.

Oh, I... That's... I don't...

Is that your wife?

Yeah. God damn. She's hot.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Three of us, we could burn it up together, don't you think?

What do you mean?

You know damn well what I mean.

Hey. Which room?

Let's see.

The only room we have available is the honeymoon suite.

We'll take it.

Charlie, come here. Please.

So what do you think?

Me, you, the old lady. A little sandwich action?

What do you mean? Yeah, come on.

You're a piece of white bread. She's a piece of white bread.

I'm the salami. Let's give it a shot.

She's not eating sandwiches. She's on a diet right now.

All right. Well, think about it.

Let's go.

All right. Well, enjoy your night, and thank you for staying... here.

You My darling, you Bittersweet Memories That is all I'm taking With me So goodbye Please don't cry We both know I'm not what You need And I Will always Love you I'll always love you Will you shut up? Shut the hell up!

Keats, you'll always be my bodyguard. You know that.


Let me guess. You dropped the soap.

Please take that out of my ass!

I want you on the bed now.

Hey, Charlie.

What's up, Chuck?

No, we're in some ratty little town called Beaver Pelt.

How will you get out?

Hey. Turn that off.

The guy is going down on her, and she's eating an apple.

It's hilarious.

I'm sorry, sweetheart. What did you say?

Jack, what's going on there? It sounds like someone's having sex.

Nobody's having sex. It's just Moses.

Jack“.

Hey! Will you turn that Shit Off?

This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell?

'Cause the guy's dick has sideburns.

So, listen, babe, what are you wearing?

What am I wearing?

Yeah. You know, you wearing that little black lacy thing I bought you?

Well, as a matter of fact, I am.

Why do you ask?

I don't know.

I'm just sitting here thinking about you.

I'm really missing you.

I miss you, too.

I got to let you go.

Jack“.

Where the hell did you get that? Didn't they search you?

I had it in my ass. You want a hit?

Here.

Hey, man! What are you doing?

You just wasted good weed!

Who are you talking to? Your girlfriend? I didn't know you had a girlfriend.

I'm probably gonna marry this one.

Marry her? Jeez, man.

I ain't never getting married.

I wouldn't drag anybody into my miserable life.

And two... Two cars in every garage, you betcha.

We pledge allegiance... What was wrong with you, getting involved with a piece of shit like that?

I don't know. Crime's the only thing I'm good at.

I had a normal job once. I was a busboy.

I got fired in three days. I don't know how to give people butter.

I got the guy in the yellow trunks.

Twenty bucks, man in the green.

Actually, you already owe me 20 bucks.

For what?

Knicks at the Forum.

Remember you didn't want to take any points? Were you out of your mind?

What a sucker.

Here.

Maybe I'm the sucker.

Damned handcuff shit!

Man, you really had me fooled!

I would have done anything for you. I would have taken a bullet for you.

I bet that's not even your real name, "Keats."

Holy shit. Your name really isn't Keats, is it?

It's Carter. Jack Carter.

I told you personal shit about myself, shit I never told anybody in my entire life, and you didn't even tell me your real name?

I was working undercover. What do you expect?

You didn't tell anybody, did you?

About what? The shit I told you!

You probably told every cop on the force!

What, that they over-circumcised you?

That's bullshit! I made that up to make you laugh!

Don't worry about it. I didn't tell anybody anything.

You're a liar.

Don't give me none of your shit.

I'm not the one that made you cross that line.

I may be a criminal, but I would never do to anybody what you did to me.

That's messing with people's feelings!

That's why your head hurts right now. You feel guilty.

No, my head hurts because you shot me in it.

Keats...

Look, it's Carter.

I put my ass on the line for you at that warehouse, trying to make sure nothing happened to you, and what did I get?

A bullet in the head! That was an accident.

Don't say that shit to me.

It's the truth!

If you're not man enough to admit that what you did to me was far more cold-blooded than anything I've ever done to you, then I don't wanna hear your mouth!

Well, it was.

Don't say it!

An accident!

Hey, Moses, you know my head feels a million times better.

I think I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight.

How about you?

Oh, sorry about the turds in there.

It was an accident.

And I Will always Love you But, honey, you're the one that's always saying we need to try new things, to keep the passion and fire in our relationship.

How do you know you wouldn't like a little sandwich action?

All right, stud, say goodbye.

I got to go, honey. Goodbye.

Where are they?

Who?

Understand me. I'm gonna ask you one more time.

Then I'm gonna blow your brains out all over Mr. Moose.

Bungalow 7.

Good night.


Watch it!

Get in! Get in!

All right, Charlie! Go, go, go!

Stay down.

Those fellas messed with the wrong hombre.

They don't get out of here alive! Let's go!

Here they come. Oh, shit.

Charlie, don't you think you're going a little fast?

Don't worry. I know these woods like the back of my hand.

Look out!

That elm came down in a storm we had a week ago Thursday.

Guess those fellas aren't from around here.

That's Jimmy's Creek.

It's good fishing, if you're ever back this way.

Charlie, are you getting a woody doing this?

Uh-uh. I had one before we started.

Come on, Charles.

I don't like that look in his eye.

Where are we going? What are you doing?

Oh, God almighty!

Charlie!

Devil's Drop-off.

235 feet straight down.

Kind of hard to make out in the dark.

I'd like to make outwith you in the dark. Come here.

Get out of here. Get off me! Don't be so shy.

Yeah! All right, Charlie.

Yeah. Mr. Colton?

I've lost them, and I don't know where they are.

Give me a second.

Fucking idiot prick!

Naturally, if you lost them, you don't know where they are, you fucking idiot.

Sorry.

Where might they be?

They're probably on their way back to Los Angeles.

See you later. Thanks for being a hero, Charlie.

Oh, great. You're putting the handcuffs back on. Thanks.

It's Finch.

It's got to be Finch.

Something I don't understand, though. What's that?

He's a special DEA officer.

These guys don't usually flip out like that.

Colton can fix anybody he thinks might be able to help him in the long run.

You fucking piece of shit! You ruined my life!

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Where you going right now?

Calling the FBI. What?

Did you not listen to a word I said?

What are you telling me? Colton's got FBI agents in his pockets, too?

Is it the plate in your head? I don't remember you being this stupid.

Look, Colton's got notebooks with people's names in it, all right?

Cops, judges, FBI agents.

I know this 'cause I used to write some of those names in there myself.

You just don't want the FBI involved because you think it'd be easier for you to run if it's just me and you.

Your problem is you see everything in black and white.

You don't realize there's a gray area in life.

That's where most people live.

Know what? Spare me your ignorant philosophy.

I think I trust the FBI a little more than a guy that shot me in my head.

Call me wacky.

Yeah, the bus comes in at 7:00.

Right. Okay.

Good bye.

Hey, man, can I call my mother?

For what? Because you just got me killed.

I figure I'll talk to her one last time.

No. Come on, man!

You know I talk to her every Tuesday.

She's gonna get all nervous if I don't call. Please.

Do you have any change? Come on.

I always did like your mom. How's she doing?

If she could stop drinking all that booze and smoking all that weed, I guess she'd be all right.

The doctor says...

Hey, don't talk about my mother, by the way.

What are you getting all defensive about?

Because it would break my mother's heart if she knew what you did to me.

I was just doing my job. That's what I did to you.

My mother loved you. She said you were my only real friend.

It's ringing.

You didn't tell her what happened, did you?

No. I wouldn't do that.

Will you please help? Thank you.

Mom!

How's it going?

Mom, are you high?

Jeez. What else is new?

Okay.

Rock Keats is doing just fine.

Yes, he is. He's right here.

He's with me. You want to talk to him?

I don't want to. I'll put him on the phone.

You got nothing to feel guilty about. You said so.

I don't want to talk to her. Just talk to my mommy, Carter.

Carter, Mommy.

Right there.

It's all right.

Hi, Ma.

Yeah. I'm doing great.

No, I have a new girlfriend now.

Yeah. Named Traci.

Not Staci, Traci.

No, she's not like the whore in Mexico.

Yeah, I'm taking care of your little Archie.

I know, and...

He's my best friend, too.

I look forward to seeing you.

Okay.

Sweet potato pie? You're gonna make me... That's wonderful.

Okay.

BYE-bye.

Back at you.

You know I'm gonna kill you, right?

Carter, stop that.


All right. These are our guys.

The Blues Brothers?

Yeah.

Look. Guess which one of them is your real father.

The one with the hat.

Detective Carter?

Special Agents Gentry and Cole.

Man, am I glad to see you guys.

Gentry and Cole?

Yeah. So what?

Don't mind him. He's simple.

I guess you boys had a pretty rough ride.

Man, you can say that again.

Darryl Gentry, Darryl Gentry...

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

First name is Darryl, right?

Yeah. Named after my mother's brother.

Oh, man. You talk about simple.

Old Uncle Darryl was a goddamn pinhead.

How did I know your first name?

What's that? Your first name, how did I know that?

Hell, I don't know. I suppose I said something back at the station.

That's right. Keats, remember that?

He goes, "I'm Darryl Gentry," right at the station.

He goes, "I'm Darryl Gentry."

'Cause it's not like I'm a psychic.

If I was a psychic, I would have made you out for a cop.

We wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

How the hell do you shut him up?

This usually works.

Get the wheel!

You gonna shoot that shit?

Get the hell out of my car. Get out!

You all right? Good. It's time to roll.

Oh, my God. The guy looks like a tumbleweed.

Yeah! The Rock and Archie Show.

You did good.

I told you I was telling the truth about them FBI guys.

So you told the truth.

Just like I was telling the truth about how shooting you was an accident.

Don't go there. Hey, man.

I may not know you, where you're really from, or what school you really went to, or whether or not your dad really was a smack-head, but you know me, man.

Say it. Tell me I ain't a liar.

Say it, Keats.

You ain't a liar.

Hallelujah.

Hey, Mo.

My father really did die with a needle in his arm.

You're the only person I ever told that to.

I wish I could hug you, but I got these goddamn handcuffs on.

Stick your finger in your ass, Alfie.

The reason Colton wants me so bad and the reason the DEA was so willing to make a deal with me is 'cause I know how Colton's whole operation works, from how he imports the drugs to how he launders the money through his car dealership.

It's all written in them notebooks I was telling you about.

The ones with the names?

You could make a case against Colton that would put him away for 20 lifetimes.

I could help you get them.

If I let you go?

The cops don't give a shit about me. They want Colton.

No can do.

How can you do this to me?

You're giving up Colton. You're not gonna do much time.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Smuggling dope, shooting a cop... I'll see you in 10 years.

And that's if your boy Finch doesn't pick me off on the way to headquarters.

I'm not taking you to headquarters.

I'm taking you to my precinct.

I know people there I can trust. You'll be all right.

We were friends, Keats. Friends.

Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Don't give me that shit about just doing your job, 'cause that's crap.

I was doing my job then, and I'm doing my job now.

Well, your job sucks.

Could you move your head to the left?

I think that fucking plate is ruining the reception.

Jesus. You're right.

All right, Jack!

Where's the Captain at? Haven't seen him.

Good to see you, man, but you look like shit.

Why don't you go home? We'll take this guy off your hands.

Wait. Hold on.

Do the names Sulliman and Jones mean anything to you?

Hey, wait a minute.

What's with you, Jack? You don't trust us all of a sudden?

I don't trust anybody, Whoopi.

Sulliman. Jones.

Don't ring a bell.

Keep him away from Finch.

That bastard's on Colton's payroll. That son of a bitch.

I knew there was a reason I didn't like that guy.

Hey, Keats.

Yeah? Will you do me a favor?

Could you check in on my mom every once in a while?

Make sure she's not smoking too much weed?

I got nobody else to ask.

You got it. I'll look after her.

Hello? Hey, bright eyes.

Jack, where are you?

I'm at the... Hello?

Hello, Jack. Welcome home.

You son of a bitch. If you hurt her, I swear to God...

Yeah, yeah. Listen.

I'm a businessman, so I thought maybe we'd discuss a little business.

See, you have something that I want, and I have something that you want, so what I'm talking about here is an even swap.

I don't have Moses anymore. I turned him in.

That's not very good then, is it?

You better get him back.

You bring Moses to my house, or you'll never see your little girlfriend again.

Come on down, hear?

Watch your step.

Look, man, don't do what I think you want to do, 'cause I'm telling you, neither one of us is gonna like it.

Wait! Hold up.

I need him back. What are you talking about?

I'm taking him to headquarters myself. What? Why?

Never mind why. Get the fuck off me.

He's taking me back. He said he is, so we're going.

Sorry about your lunch, big man.

Hey, man, thank you. I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Was it that last look I gave you? Yeah. All of that.

Jack, where are you going?

Trust me on this, Captain. He's dirty.

What the hell are you talking about? You heard me.

Are you crazy?

I'll explain it all to you later. You'll explain now.

Jensen.

This guy's name is Jensen? Why? What?

What? It's not Finch, man, it's Jensen!

He works with Colton! What the hell is he saying?

You got to get me out of here now!

He's saying that you're in bed with Colton. Now, back up.

He's a lying son of a bitch!

He doesn't lie.

Are you gonna take the word of that little prick over mine?

Right now, I have to.

You're on suspension, you son of a bitch.

Now turn that prisoner over.

Don't you even think about it.

And you...

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Hey, man. Hey, how you doing?

I cannot believe that it was Jensen.

This guy's been like a father to me.

Oh, shit. Hmm?

I'm not gonna tell you, 'cause you're probably gonna get mad.

Mo, what are you talking about?

There is a chance...

I'm not 100% sure, but maybe it was Benson, not Jensen.

You're bullshitting me. No, I'm not positive about this.

Actually, I am pretty positive it was Benson.

They sound the same. I could kick your ass!

It's very close. Jensen, Benson. They rhyme.

Jesus Christ, give me a break. Give you a break?

You should be happy. Your captain's clean.

I knocked my superior officer on his ass.

I pulled a gun on him, and I should be happy?

The good thing is, when push came to shove you acted like a human being instead of a cop.

Man, you wouldn't let me rot in that jail cell and I love you for it.

Moses...

I swear to God, I'm going to make it up to you. That's a promise.

I got something to tell you. Mmm-hmm.

Go ahead.

You're not gonna get mad? I ain't gonna get mad at you.

I'm falling in love with you all over again.

Okay.

Colton's got Traci. He says the only way I can get her back is if I turn you in.

There. I said it.

You can't stop fucking me over, can you?

I'm not gonna turn you in.

Okay? But I can't get her back without you.

You're the only one that knows your way around that place.

We both know I ain't gonna make it out of that place alive if I go there.

Look... Forget it, man.

I ain't doing this shit. Okay, fine.

Then I guess you lied to me after all.

Okay. About what?

You said you would take a bullet for me.

I would have taken a bullet for you at one time, but that shit's all gone now.

Cool. Then don't do it for me.

Do it for yourself, because as long as you're alive, Colton wants you dead.

It's only a matter of time before he puts your lights out.

God damn it.

All right. Give me a gun.

Moses, you're a fugitive who's in my custody.

I can't just give you a gun.

Even if it means I'm gonna get killed? It don't work like that.

Even if it means Traci could get killed?

Will you get over that black-and-white shit and come over to the gray area?

God damn it! There's plenty of room.

I think Mr. Colton's waiting to see us. He certainly is.

Hand it over.

After you.


Gross! Right in the fucking eyeball. Bet you're glad you gave me that gun.

This is the only door without an alarm.

Where does it lead to? Guest kitchen. Nobody's ever in there.

Oh, shit.

Get her out of here.

I think they're eating fajitas.

God damn it.

Throw it back.

Now!

So no one's ever in here, huh, Moses?

Shit.

Is that all you got?

Come here.

Motherfucker!


Oh, Jack.

Thank God. I was so scared.

Where's Colton?

I saw him drive off when the shooting started.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

There may still be people around here. I don't have a gun.

I've got one.

Great. Let me have it.

Put your hands up, Jack.

Traci, now is not the time for jokes. Give me the gun.

Put your hands up, or I will let you have it.

Move toward the door.

So after all this time it was you?

I'm sorry, Jack. Why don't you just shoot me in my head?

It won't hurt as much.

Give me the gun, bitch! Thank you.

Where the hell were you? Getting Colton's notebooks.

According to these, it's Nurse Traci's job to get close to somebody and then fuck them over.

No wonder you liked her. Jack, please.

Move it.

Colton knew you'd be coming after me sooner or later, so he sicced devil eyes over here on you to lead him to me.

Jack, Colton made me do it.

He would have killed me if I hadn't done it.

Watch it now, Keats. She's playing you.

But then I fell in love with you.

"But then I fell..." Shut the fuck up.

I swear to God I did.

She's lying out her devil ass.

Will you shut the fuck up?

Why don't you make me?

Jesus. I got to learn how to fight. This is pathetic.

Moses, don't you do it.

Your girlfriend is shooting at me.

What do you want me to do, tell her she's pretty?

Traci!

Traci!

Put the gun down.

I'm walking out of here, Jack. Don't try to stop me.

God damn it, Traci, will you stop this?

Don't take it personally. I'm just doing my job.

Oh, shit!

I've heard that before.

Look, Moses, shut up. Okay?

Traci, please.

Don't make you feel too good, does it, Keats?

Traci!

Okay, Jack.

I'm coming out. I don't want anyone else to get hurt.

Hey, Keats, take a gun. She's crazy.

Put it down.

Keats, look out!

Hey, jack-off.

You make one hell of a partner. First you bust them, then you get them shot.

Hey, you know what? Screw him.

I built my whole business selling to morons like him.

You come on down to Colton Motors, you hear?

And I'll sell you a new partner, one without a bullet in him.

Think of the depreciation. Step into my office, chump.

I could kill you now. That wouldn't be enough.

What?

'Cause first, man, I'm gonna fuck you up.


Let's get our story straight.

You two, you broke in here to kill me.

That's what you get for trying to make me suck your dick.

Hey, Mo. I can't believe you did that.

Did what?

You actually took a bullet for me, man.

That was pretty nice of me, wasn't it? Yeah.

What? Hey, sit down. Let me look at that.

Shit.

Man, that's just a little flesh wound.

A bullet hit my back. It hurts.

Try taking one in the head.

All right, yeah. That probably hurt more.

Those notebooks ought to make that Benson or Jensen guy forget you ever hit him.

It's Jensen.

And you better get the hell out of here.

Thanks, man.

Hey, you take care of yourself. Try not to mess up.

This life-of-crime bullshit, I'm done with that. I'm going to Cabo.

Drinking margaritas, banging sefioritas.

Fuck that shit, man. I'm gonna be a bullfighter.

I hear those guys make a lot of money. You should come.

Maybe.

To the Rock and Archie Show.

To the Jack and Archie Show.

I'll see you later.

See you, Moses.

Jeez. The American customer is different than here in Mexico.

You see, we like it when you first meet somebody you just start kissing.

You kiss each other, get to know each other a little better.

It's a little strange at first, but if you loosen up, you can enjoy it.

I think it could be fun.

Sefior, you are so funny.

I'm funny, and I'm good-looking, too.

You got to admit that. I'm not great-looking, but pretty good.

You know, like about a seven.

You know what I wanted to ask you.

How many out of the three of you have done it with a bullfighter?

Anybody? Come on, show of hands. We don't like bullfighters.

We hate when they kill the bull.

I wouldn't kill the bull. That's not nice.

What I like to do is, I like to get to know the bull.

Teach it how to read, that kind of thing.

To make them stop smoking. Let's go.

It's not right for a bull to smoke.

How's it going?

We don't like you gringos bothering our women.

And I wouldn't do that. That's why I'm gonna leave now.

It was great meeting you. Take care.

Oh, God. Come on.

Hey!

You got a problem with him, then you got a problem with us.

Right, Keats?

You don't want to beat the shit out of me in front of my mother, do you? Mom!

Mother!