Burlesque (2010) Script

Sixteen-fifty for you, 16.50 for me.

Loretta, I'm leaving.

What do you mean?

Soon as I get my check, I'm gone.

I'll be back.

Dwight, I need my check. Payday's at the end of the month.

Haven't paid us for last month. I need money, Loretta's got a kid--

Problem with management? Put a note in the suggestion box.

I'm serious. I'm quitting. I'll be back for the dinner shift.

I sure as hell won't be.

What are you doing?

I'm taking what he owes me, not a penny more.

You take that money, he's gonna come after you.

Gotta find me first. What you gonna do?

This ought to cover that bike for little Keith.

You're late to pick him up.

Go. I got everything covered here.

You're really going?

I'm really going.

That bike can wait till Christmas.

You keep what he owes you. I'll deal with Dwight, okay?

See you later.

How much to Los Angeles?

One-way or round-trip? You're kidding, right?

Hey, Coco. Coco Puff, you're on. Come on. You're on, you're on.

We may not have windows...

...but we do have the best view on Sunset Strip.

Twenty bucks.

What is this place, a strip club?

"Strip club"?

I should wash your mouth out with Jägermeister.

The only Pole you'll find in there is Natasha, the shot girl.

Babycakes, I got a club to fill here.

Right, sorry.


Show a little more Show a little less Add a little smoke Welcome to Bur lesque Everything you dream of But never can possess Nothing's what it seems Welcome to Bur lesque

Everyone is buying Put your money in my hand If you got a little extra Well, give it to the band

You may not be guilty But you'r e ready to confess Tell me what you need Welcome to Bur lesque You can dream of Coco Do it at your risk The tr iplets gr ant you mercy But not your every wish Jesse keeps you guessing So cool and statuesque

"Behave your self," says Georgia Welcome to Bur lesque

Everyone is buying Put your money in my hand If you want a little extr a Well, you know where I am Something very dark Is playing with your mind It's not the end of days It's just the bump and grind Show a little more Show a little less Add a little smoke

Welcome to Bur lesque

Can I get you a drink? Only if you're buying.

Welcome to L.A. Thank you.

Where you from? lowa.

Kentucky. We're practically related. Thought you looked familiar.

Hey, sweetheart? You wanna do your job? Let's go.

Who does a girl have to flirt with to get from here to up there?

Is this you flirting?

With someone wearing more eyeliner than me? Yeah.

Through that door over there.

Ask for Tess.

She's your guy. Flirt away. Thanks. lowa. Yeah?

Use my name.

Thanks, Jack.

Hold it! Hold it. That's good.

We're on in five minutes. Five minutes, ladies.

Get over there. All right, I'm coming.

Ladies! Let's move it, ladies!

Does anyone know where Nikki is?

Both spotlights are supposed to pull in.

Georgia, your boyfriend is so cute.

So tonight, takeout and a movie?


Casablanca and Oreos. Yes.

Tess! I lost a contact on the stage.

Okay, if you fall off the stage, leg extended, boobs up.

Remember, you're a goddess.

Thank you, Sean. You're welcome.

"Thank you, Sean."

Come here, give me.

Wait. What? The foot?

Yeah, the foot, the back, the neck.

The hips, the breasts, the face....

Vince, the sink's busted upstairs again.

I'm not calling a plumber, Coco.

Tess, have you read this letter from the bank?

How many times have I told you? No business during business hours.

Marcus Gerber is coming in tonight. So what?

This isn't going away.

You won't talk to me before the show, after the show.

It's like you're avoiding me.

I didn't divorce you to spend more time with you.

I may not be "Mr. Tess" anymore, but I still own half this place.

"Mr. Tess."

That is so hot.

Nice, but it won't pay the bills.

Wait. Wait. Zip me up.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Tess.

Hi, are you Tess?

And you are in my mirror because?

Oh, sorry. I'm friends with Jack, and I'm looking for a job.

And where have you danced?

At home, mostly. But I can move.

Okay, give your name and number to Sean.

Let you know when we're having our audition.

When will that be, exactly?


Where the hell is Nikki? I don't know. She's late again.

Oh, I'm never late. Ever.

That's great.

We're trying to put on a show here. Come back another time.

I've never seen anything like this.

I need a job. I wanna work here. Great enthusiasm, terrible timing.

So leave your name and your number with Jack, your friend downstairs.

And we'll call you. Okay? Promise.

Hey, can you fix this for me?

Let's move it, ladies!

Hello. Oh, my God. Nikki.

You're probably not gonna believe this...

...but Sean and I were talking, and he said....

I said, "It's so sad that Nikki couldn't join us for the opening number...

...but it would be so great if she joined us for the next one."

Paws and claws. Took longer than I thought.

So is finding a new job when I fire you.

Yeah, right.

Get ready. Yeah.

Hey. Bring me a martini.

Extra dry, straight up, three olives.

And hurry back. She doesn't work here.

Then she's not busy.

Twenty minutes and we're back.

Your mama tell you it's not polite to stare?

You're just so damn beautiful, I--

Well, in that case, screw your mama and stare away.

No one would ever know.

Know what?

That you're a dude.

God. Can I use this?

Goddamn it! Don't touch my stuff!

Hey, waitress!

Sweetheart? Hey, over here.

One second.


Ladies? I'll have a vodka.

What can I get you?

One shot of Patrón...

...and tough guy with the hat over there, he wants a Cosmo.

What are you doing? One night.

If I'm not better than boobs-for-brains, you don't have to pay me.

Isn't that the girl that was backstage?

I think so.

Hey, Jack, what's she doing here?

She really wanted a job.

And so she is our new waitress.

And when did I make you head of personnel?

She just picked up a tray, started working.

Really? Well, her name is Ali.


Hey, Ali.

Look, this is cute, but come on.

Push up those boobs. Got them, show them. Work them.

And don't ever go behind my back again.

Yes, ma'am. And don't ever call me ma'am again.

Yes, sir. I mean ma'am. I mean Tess. Get on the floor.


What am I, my mother?

Yes, ma'am.

Up yours.

Excuse me.

Dewar's rocks and a bottle of your best champagne.

Oh, and will you tell Nikki that I'm here?

And you are...?

A member since '91.

Marcus Gerber. And you are?

Ali. Ali.

I'm here.

You're late, you're late for a very important date.

Georgia went on for you.

What is that waitress doing here? I want that bitch out now.

What did she ever do to you?

She told me I look like a drag queen. Can't be the first time.

Get my spot.

Nikki, what are you doing?


Ali. Ali.

Ali. Ali. What do you need?

Dewar's rocks, bottle of Dom--

And keep it coming.

Yep. So he's a regular, huh?

Marcus Gerber, real estate guy.

Dating Nikki. This week at least.

I wanna be up there. I wanna do that.

Question is...

...do you have the talent? I do.

Are you sure? Yes.

Positive? Yeah.

Good, because you're on.

I got a dentist

Who's over seven feet tall

Ooh, I've got a dentist, baby

The man is over seven feet tall

His name is Dr. Long John

And he answers Every call

It's simple.

I assume all your financial obligations...

...buy you out...

...pay you a million right off the top.

Five hundred each.

Where is the partnership that--? You said there was gonna be a partnership.

How about a partnership?

Partnerships don't really work so well with me.

And that deal is-- Very generous.

Good. Because I lead with my final offer.

Not that I give a shit, but why is it that you want my club so badly?

I like it.

I see something I like, I have to have it. Since I was a kid.

That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.

I did okay.

You know what you could do with that?

You know what you could do with that money?

Not now. Don't "not now" me.

The way I see it...

...you're in a fix and I'm in a position to help.

We play this thing right, and we all come out winners.


You got that balloon payment due on the first.

Did you also tell him I have a tattoo on my ass?

No. It's business.

I don't think you're gonna get another opportunity like this.

So take it.

No. She means not now.

No, no. "Not now" means not now, Vince.

No means no.

Marcus, I don't care what you're offering.

My club is not for sale.

Well, offer's on the table.


See you in the sandbox.

Wendy! Do you have my makeup?

Drinks, ladies.

All right, white wine.

Tom Collins.

Which one is Nikki's?

Both. Shit.

That was my shot.

Here's mud in your eye, Nik.

All right. Now I got a buzz, and you gotta change. You're on.

What are you, my mother?

In case you haven't noticed, Vince was talking to Marcus.

Well, that's because Marcus is trying to buy my club.

Mother of God.

Tess? Probably not a good time.

I know you're busy and I don't mean to interrupt.

Hey! Did anybody talk to Dave about the new vocals?

That's what I've been thinking about.

All the girls lip-sync-- Except for Tess.

Except for Tess.

But wouldn't it be great if we actually heard the girls sing?

No. It wouldn't be great.


People come here to watch the dancers dance...

...and to watch them lip-sync to the great singers.

I hear you. I get it.

I'm just thinking of ways to make it better.

I don't understand why we can't try--

You don't understand because it's above your pay grade.

I don't get what that means. Hear me out. This is a good idea--

Ali, Ali, no-- No. No. No.

Stop. Take her and remove her.

Okay, let's go. Come on.

They need you on the floor, but thanks for visiting.

All right. Oh, this is not for anybody.

You look so beautiful right now. I can't even tell you.

And you are so full of shit.

Goddamn it!


You can just have a seat.

I'm gonna grab us both a drink, yeah?

Oh, and here.

Call whoever you want.

Long distance, whatever.

I can't. What do you mean?

I don't have anyone.

No parents or siblings, aunts, uncles, anyone?

No one.

So you're not here to use my phone.

No, no, stop. It's gonna be all right.

You can crash here.

Just please, please, stop crying.

Okay. Okay.

I'll take that.



Just one night.

Till it's light out and I can figure out my next move.


That's beautiful.

Who wrote that?

I did.

You wrote that?

Jack, that's.... That's really good.

Thank you.

You have more? Yeah.

Nothing that's ready to be heard.

Hey, Jack...

...why did you leave Kentucky?

Why did you leave lowa?

Because I looked around and realized...

...there wasn't one person whose life I wanted.


Hey, Jack.

I'm really glad I don't have to be alone tonight.

Get some sleep.


Coffee? Black.

Like my soul.

I took the liberty of making breakfast.

I hope you don't mind. It's the least I could do.

Smells great.

She's pretty. Your sister?

Fiancée. You're straight?

You thought I was gay? Yeah.

Wait, why? I don't know. The day bed, eyeliner.

It's a very straight look.

You know, it works at the club, Tess loves it--


I should put on some pants.


So where is she, this fiancée?

She's in New York doing a play.

Now that you're straight and engaged...

...I feel really weird I came here in the first place.

I'm all right.

I'll be out of your hair in no time. You don't have to leave.

Don't worry about me. It's pouring outside.

I got a plan. If you could just get the door for me.

Thank you.

You're welcome. See you at the club.

Ali! What are you doing?

Come back inside!

No, Jack, I'm fine.

It's pouring.

It's just water, for chrissake.

Damn it.

Get your ass back in my house.

You've done enough. I'm fine.

All right, all right, fine. Here we go.

Put me down. What are you doing?

You have nowhere to go and I have a couch.

Like it or not, you're gonna stay.

Hey, Natalie.

Really? That's great.



Oh, God, please don't have the flu.

Oh, God.

Please have the flu.

Why do they call it morning sickness...

...if it hits you at every fricking moment of the day?

Have you told Damon yet?

No, not yet.

Well, sweetheart, you know, at some point he's going to notice.

He's a guy.

He's not gonna notice until my belly's blocking the TV.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I don't know, Tess. I'm really scared.

Oh, honey, don't be scared.

Whatever you decide, we will take care of you. Okay?

But you've got to tell Damon.

I figured as long as he doesn't know...

...I can still pretend he's gonna be excited about it.

He's gonna be thrilled. Are you kidding? He'll be thrilled.

Excellent. That was great.

Thank you very much, ladies.

What happened to all the great dancers in L.A.?

They're dancing with the stars.

Call Andre and ask. He might have somebody.


Don't like her, I don't like her.

I don't love any of them. She's the best one.

What is that?

What is she doing?

I think she's auditioning.

Hey, Dave, cut it!

Hold on a second, I can do this.

And I think it's sweet that you think you can.

Tell me what you're looking for. Someone who can do the routine.

Excuse me? I'm talking to you!

Oh, shit.

Just tell me what you want.

I can't tell you.

Nobody can tell you.

You gotta make me believe that you belong up there.

That you own that stage and that nobody's gonna take it from you.

That's the way it works.

You wanna show me something, show me that.

All right.

Which number do you wanna see? I know every one.

Every number? Which one do you wanna see?

"Wagon Wheel Watusi."

What's going on?

Well, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

Try harder.

You were off the whole last half.

Come on, Tess. Come on, I'll practice till I bleed. I know I can do this.

You know, we have better dancers.

Then say thank you very much and goodbye.

If you just give me a chance. I swear I won't disappoint you.

Didn't anybody ever give you a shot?

Please, I want this so bad.

If you just give me a chance, I'd-- All right. God!

You got the job.

What are you so excited about? She's your replacement.

Thank you, Tess. You won't regret it.

I am so gonna regret this.

What is Ali short for?

Alice. Alice?

Well, welcome to Wonderland.

Meet me upstairs in five.

Well, sorry for the short notice...

...but I quit.

It's okay.

And with my new raise, I will be off your couch in no time.

Here we go.

Black corset, first number.

Second number, "Wagon Wheel," that's that.

Swarovski bustier, that's for the third number.

And this is for "Miss Otis Regrets."

And remember, with that, don't...

...pull the trigger.

You like her. I know it kills you, but you have to admit it.

No. You know, she pulls focus, she doesn't blend in.

A girl that doesn't blend in?

Oh, my.

That is so beneath you.

Here we go, here we go. Don't lose those again.

How you doing?

My boobs are pushed up to my ears, my thong's a mile up my butt...

...and my eyelashes are so thick they could kick up a stiff wind.

Fun being a girl, isn't it? Come on, let's go, let's go.

You guys wanna go grab pizza? Yes, please.

Yeah. I'm starving.

Good, let's go.

My day was so long.

Ice cream sounds so good.

That's so bad.

I'm gonna get so full tonight. What?

Where is everybody?

They went out for pizza.

I wasn't hungry.

That brush isn't working. It's too old.

Well, it's the only brush I have.

I'll let you use mine.

Here. Thanks.

All right, here. Let me help you.

Wet it if you're gonna get a clean line.

Close your eyes.

When you are putting on your makeup...

...it's like you're an artist.

But instead of painting on a canvas...

...you're painting your face.

My mom was a model and she was beautiful.

Tall, blond.

Not like me.

Body that could stop a truck.

And she had these girlfriends, beautiful girls, Colleen and Shirley...

...and they would come over in the morning...

...and put their makeup on together before they went on jobs. Up.

We had a window in the back of our house with a ledge...

...and they would put their mirrors side by side and put out their makeup.

They had lipsticks and blushes, and it was fabulous.

I kept thinking, "God, I cannot wait till I get old enough to play with this."

Didn't you ever watch your mom put on her makeup?

My mom died when I was 7...

...and it's my first lesson.

You know, you won't be the new girl forever.




Ali. Did you use my towel again?

I found it soaking wet on the floor.

I don't know. Maybe. How's that apartment hunt?

I've been looking. Everything's over 1000 bucks a month.

How can you put a price on privacy like that? Freedom?

Your own bathroom? Clean towels?

Okay, I get it.

It's Natalie.

Hey, babe.

Oh, hey. What about Beachwood Canyon?


If you have a car.

I mean, truth is...

...you really should get a car first.

I mean, this is L.A. after all. You know?

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna suck it up...

...and let you stay a little bit longer.

Throw in something for rent, we're good.

A second ago you wanted me out. I don't like my towel wet.

I don't like the lack of privacy...

...but you're in a jam.

And I'm the kind of guy...

...when a friend is in trouble, I help.

It's just who I am.

What did Natalie have to say?

Nothing. No, she.... What did she say?

"Hi." That was it.

And? And....

Her play got extended three months.

She has to pay everything there in rent...

...so I have to cover everything here.

So if you wanna stick around and chip in, it would--

Save your ass? Help.

Well, will you look at that?

The shoe on the other foot.

One minute I'm a freeloader...

...and the next...

...I'm the only thing standing between you and eviction.

Just yes or no?

What's the proposal exactly?

Wonderful apartment. Bathroom included.

I'm listening.

Use of the kitchen. Keep going.

Six hundred a month. Closet?

Half. Oh, look.

"Fabulous apartment with a great view."

Fine, fine.

The whole closet.

I want the bedroom. No way.

Oh, look. "Hot tub, Beverly Hills."

All right. You can have my bedroom.

Are you in?

Oh, Jack.

See, I'm the kind of girl...

...if a friend's in trouble, I help.

That's just who I am.

Oh, boy.

Your dream is killing me!

It's killing me!

What was that?

And what's this?

It's something about the two mortgages.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't got a goddamn clue.

But if I can't raise the amount of money...

...on that paper by the end of this month, I lose the club.

It's just money.

It's just a number.

I know...

...but do you think I could do it?

Okay, tell me a lie.

I need your expert sewing skills.

Tell me a new lie.

I don't love you.

Come here. Come here.

It's okay.

Stage right.

Wait a minute. Hey, hey. What's in that?

Iced tea.

Iced tea, my ass. Go home.

Yeah, right. I'm about to go on.

You're not gonna go on. Go home.

Relax. It is one drink. What is the big deal?

Ali, you're gonna take Nikki's spot.

She can't dance my part. She can and she will.

No, no. My God, I can't do that. It is Nikki's number.

You said you can do any number, right?

I don't wanna step on any toes. Then don't.

I don't ca-- Listen to me.

You're gonna go on, and you're gonna go home.

Here, put this on.


Tess wants to see you. Says it's urgent.

I can't leave. I'm working.

Don't say I didn't warn you.


Everybody wants Dave to do something.

Y'all gonna have me singing by the time I'm done here. Jesus.

Tess, what's up?

What are you doing back here?

Nikki said you were looking for me. Nikki? What is going on?

Lower the curtain. Let's go.

Bye. Thanks for coming.

Hold it.

Raise the curtain.

Oh, my God.

Am I the only one that has no idea what just happened?

Whatever it was--

The music stopped, I didn't know what to do.

I had to sing, I'm sorry.

Never told me you could sing like that.

I tried to tell you.

Okay, okay, all right.

This is what we're gonna do. You know the songs, right?

Oh, yeah.

So tomorrow we're gonna rehearse, then you're gonna sing.

We're gonna go straight through the show live.

So any questions? No.

Okay, good. Good. You go with the guys.

Find out what keys you're comfortable singing in...

...and I'm going to go up to my office and plan an entirely new show.

Okay? Oh, my God.

Thanks, Tess.

I'm gonna build a show around her.

"They don't come to hear us sing"?

They'll come to hear her sing.

So how do you feel?

Amazing. I've never seen anything like that.

Thanks. Are you sure Tess really liked it? She wasn't...?

I was bringing down the curtain.

She stopped me. She's the one who let you sing.

Really? She wants to build a show around you.

You're crying with happiness, right?

Good. Okay.


Clearly one of us has underestimated the other.

I can't believe Tess has you buried in the kick line.

She didn't know I sang.

Well, you certainly can.

And you are way too good to be doing it here.

How about a drink?

The bar's right over there.

Tell Jack I sent you.

Where the hell did that come from?

Who knew that you could do that? Thanks, Jack.

Who knew any white chick could sing like that?

How do you do that?

I don't know. It just happens. I just do it.

I know how that feels. I gotta pee again, so....


We're gonna get something to eat.

You wanna come?

Yeah, I would.

Let's go.

Look at you.

What? What?

Well, no, just the way you're gazing after her.

I have a fiancée, remember?

Yes. No, I do. I know. Three thousand miles away.

We talk every day.

You do? About what?

Let me guess, don't tell me.

About her.


And, I don't know....


All I'm saying is that that one there...

...is beautiful on the inside as well...

...and she's not going to be available forever.

Relationship advice from Mr. One-Night-Stand himself.

That is....

Forgot my purse.

What? Oh, no.

I was just telling Jack here how every opportunity has a shelf life.

Come here.

Look there.

Awfully pretty, but too much.

See, I like that.

No, I'm not cutting my hair.

Who said anything about you cutting your hair? You can wear a wig.

I'm wearing one right now.

Where have I been all my life?

The dress is Chanel The shoes YSL The bag is Dior Agent Provocateur My address today L.A., by the way Above Sunset Strip The Hills all the way My rings ar e by Webster It makes their heads twir I They all say, "Darling, what did you Do for those pearls?"


I am a good girl

So good.

Hey there, big boy.

So, what do you think?

I think you look....

I mean, it looks....

Jack, we're friends, for chrissake.

It's not like we're brother and sister.

No, we certainly are not.

I don't get why everyone's having a conniption.

She's just a tacky farm girl from lowa.

And we know a cow when we see one.

Don't underestimate us farm girls.


This round's on me.

I don't normally do this...

...but, Vince, I'm doubling my offer.

It's either you or the auction house.

No, I am not selling.

Know what happens when you default on a loan?

No, hum a few bars.

I'm not screwing around. Where's the money coming from?

Ali's a hit. We can charge 50 bucks a head now.

Raising the admission? That's not good enough.

You have been saying that the sky is falling forever.

Everything always works out fine.

Tell that to the people losing everything.

I don't wanna be one of them.

I love this place too. No, you don't.

I do. No, you don't!

Yes, I do! Oh, no, you don't.

Look, you have many fine qualities, Vincent.

And then you've got some iffy qualities.

But you've never been a phony.

Just tell Marcus no.


Yep. Just got in.

I'm in here. Can you come zip me up?

Hey, where you been?

Writing music.

Can I hear?

It's not ready. It's not ready.

Who's that?

Me and my mom on my 7th birthday.

She died a few weeks later.

You must miss her.

Every single day something happens that I wish I could tell her about.

And what happened today?

Nothing yet.

You should get that. It's probably Natalie.


Hey, babe.

Yes, I know.

Check it out, girls!

I'm starved. You ready?

I can't. I'm so sorry. I have to do inventory tonight.

Want me to call a cab?

No, that's okay. I'll get a ride with Coco.


Watch your back. Coming through.

You ready?

For what? I'll drop you off.

Coco left five minutes ago.

I was coming to talk to you. I caught your conversation.

Talk to me about...? Dinner. With me. Give me that.

If you ever expect to see this bag alive again...

...you'll follow me.

Hold on a second. Where you going? Hey!

Where are you taking me? This is not the way to my place.

I told you. Dinner.


I'm not going to dinner with you. You're seeing Nikki.

We're just friends.

Where I come from, friends don't chew on earlobes.

Aren't you glad you left?

Oh, damn it. What?

I gotta make a quick appearance at a party.

You just remembered.

It's on the way. We'll be quick. Ten minutes, tops. Do you mind?

And if I do?

Then you've been kidnapped.

Hey, Marcus.

Nice house.

What are you doing? You can't just take that.

Put that back. You're gonna get us kicked out.

Not if we sneak out.

Hey, hey. Greg, Marla, this is Ali.

Hi. Hey.

My God, those are amazing shoes.

Aren't they? Louboutin.

Great party.

Always good to have you, man.

Wait a minute. You had to make an appearance at your own party?

Would've been rude not to, right?

You'd like those guys. Greg's an editor, Marla's a designer.

I'm gonna dream about those shoes.

L.A. looks gorgeous from up here.

That view cost me three times what the house did.

See that strip mall down there?

You own that too?

No. I own everything above it.

There is nothing above it. Exactly.

So you own air. Air rights.

Guy that owns the mall ran into money issues, almost had to sell.

Whoever he sold to would've put up a huge tower.

So I bought the air rights.

No one can build above one story. Well, aren't you clever.

Mall guy gets to keep his property, I keep the second best view in L.A.

What's the first?

How many girls you used that line on? None who called me on it.

What do you want, Ali?

In life.

And why should I tell you?

You're talented enough to get what you want...

...and I'm smart enough to make it happen.

Somebody got a package. Ali.

Ali. Who's it from?

Come on, open it. Let's see. Come on.

Oh, my God.

Those are so cute.

They're so pretty. Those are so pretty.

Who's the sucker?

Let's go. Girls, please, break it up.

Coco, let's go. Five minutes.

Ali Cat, you're up next.

My nana used to call me Ali Cat.

Did she really? That's fascinating.

Why don't I have a nickname? Oh, you do.

Well, he never uses it. No, I do.


When you leave the room.

Slut. I heard that.

So sorry! I had no idea! Oh, my God.

Girls, come on! We have a show to do! Let's go, let's go!

Hurry up! Come on!

It's a cold and cr azy world That's raging outside But, baby, me and all my gir Is Are br ingin' on the fir e Show a little leg Gotta shimmy your chest It's a life, it's a style, it's a need It's burlesque

Hey. Hey.

You were out late last night.

Oh, I got a ride home with that guy...


Went to a party.


New shoes?



There's only one reason a man buys a woman shoes.

So what if I'm getting a little male attention?

You're getting more than a little.

Not from anyone that matters.

I just think you should be careful.

And I think if you need to tell a girl what she should and shouldn't do...

...you should pick up the phone and call your fiancée.

That's major. My goodness.

Major? Check again. The only thing major is the size of Coco's ass.

Monsieur Louboutin is at Table 18 and he's asking for you.

It's a weird angle.


I'm so glad you got to--

There she is, the girl of the hour.

You'd go to any length.

I just made a call to Greg at the Times.

I want you to meet a friend of mine. Ali Rose, Harold Saint.

Harold--? Shut up. You worked with Etta James.

Her. Chewed me up and spat me out, that one.


You've got a set of pipes too, young lady.


We have to do something about that.

You snooze, you lose, pretty boy.

Standing room only.

Doesn't it look great?

But I just got another notice from the bank.

We would have to fill Dodger Stadium for a month to come up with the cash.

I gotta figure out a way to buy us more time.

Hey. Hey.

That really is a great shot.

It's so weird seeing myself in the paper like that.

Well, you might have to get used to it.

I don't think I ever could.

You know, I don't wanna come off like the wise old fairy godmother...

...but maybe you could learn from my mistakes.

What do you mean?

You gotta learn who are the people you can trust...

...the people who like you for you...

...and who are the people who just want something.

You don't like Marcus, do you? No, I don't.

I don't like him. I don't trust him.

I don't think you should trust him.

But is that really what's best for me or what's best for you?

I don't know.

I hope it's best for both of us.

All right.

See you tomorrow.

There you are.

These babies desperately need your glue gun, okay?

Especially this one. Okay.

Okay? Yep.

She's not going anywhere.

Good night. Night.

Oh, hey, Tess.

I got that track you wanted to rehearse for tomorrow.


Honey, I'm sorry. I got a million things on my mind and I completely forgot.

It's all good.

If it's too late I can come in early tomorrow?

No, no. Let's just get it out of the way.

You want a spot?


Feelin' broken Bar ely holdin' on But ther e's still something so strong Somewher e inside me And I am down But I'll get up again Don't count me out just yet I've been brought Down to my knees And I've been pushed Way past the point of breakin'

But I can take it I'll be back Back on my feet This is far from over You haven't seen the last of me They can say that I won't stay around But I'm gonna stand my ground You're not gonna stop me You don't know me You don't know who I am Don't count me out so fast I've been brought Down to my knees And I've been pushed Way past the point of breakin'

But I can take it I'll be back Back on my feet This is far from over You haven't seen the last of me There will be no fade-out This is not the end I'm down now But I'll be standin' tall again Times are hard but I was built tough I'm gonna show you all What I'm made of I've been brought Down to my knees And I've been pushed Way past the point of breakin'

But I can take it I'll be back Back on my feet This is far from over I am far from over

You haven't seen the last of me No, no, I'm not goin' nowhere I'm stayin' right here Oh, no, you won't see me fade out I'm not takin' my bow Can't stop me It's not the end

You haven't seen the last of me Oh, no, you haven't seen The last of me You haven't seen the last of me

Tess, we need to talk. No.

Yes. I'm tired, Nikki.

Well, then you can just listen.

We built this club together...

...and then some girl shows up from nowhere...

...who hasn't paid her dues-- How do you know?

Doesn't sing that way because she's had it easy.

"They don't come to hear us sing, Nikki."

Or is that just bullshit now?

You're drunk. Go inside and call a cab.

I will not be upstaged by some slut!

Then leave.

You'd ruin our friendship over some girl you barely know?

So much for loyalty!

Since when did you know anything about loyalty?

How many times have I peeled you off the sidewalk?

How many blackouts?

How many times have I held your head...

...while you threw up everything but memories?

Okay, fine! But I will not stand in the back!

Tess, you need to fix this--

You think you're my only problem? I'm about to lose my club.

The only thing that means anything to me.

I have more to worry about than you pouring tequila on your Cheerios.


I quit! I'm glad!

Nikki, don't drive.

By the way...

...I slept with Vince the night after your honeymoon.

You crazy bitch!


Do you really have to do that at 6 a.m.?


No, but a little peace and quiet would be nice.

You are a little overdressed for breakfast.

My pajamas were in the bedroom, which was occupied.

You're never here, so it'd be stupid for me to crash on the couch...

...when there is a perfectly good, empty bed right there.

So, what, do you want the bedroom back?

Should be used by someone.

I'm home every night.

Maybe not when you think I should be. You are my roommate, not my mother.

However, since it's such an issue....

What the hell. Take the bedroom. I'll sleep on the couch.

Fine! Fine.

You're gonna have to move your shit. I realize.

It is a total mess in there.

You got stuff everywhere. Clothes, shoes, hair--

Jesus! What is your problem? You're acting like a prick.

Something you wanna say?

It's not just me.

The people that care about you are worried.

What people?

People, you know? People. Your friends at the club.

We're like a family.

And we look out for each other.

You look out for each other. Like Vince looks after Tess.

And like Nikki looks out for everybody.

And Marcus? He's gonna look out for you?

No, it's fine. It's fine.

He can make things happen for you.

So go ahead, make a deal with the devil.

First, Marcus is not the devil.

He's a smart businessman...

...who happens to be a gentleman who knows what he wants and goes for it.

I'm just saying. Life is about the choices you make.

The choices I make?

You're a bartender-slash-piano player...

...who writes songs that are never ready.

That's perfect. Perfect.

Please, try not to destroy my apartment. Thanks.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Wait, what do you mean you are still in New York? Why?

So you just decided not to come?

Why does every conversation we have end up being about your future?

You know, you're right.

We should start thinking about our futures.

And I might be looking at mine right now.

That DJ is hot.

You think so?

He keeps looking at me.

Maybe he's cuckoo for Coco Puffs.

Really? You think?

Yeah. I think.

He's gorgeous. I think he likes me.

He is gorgeous.

Who is paying for this wedding? This rental must have cost a fortune.

Damon's dad is loaded.

Is he single?

I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

Guess Georgia's not as dumb as I thought.

Would you ever do this again?


There's only one man I could see spending the rest of my life with.

And unfortunately, except for a really drunk night in Reno 25,000 years ago...

...he bats for the other team.

Oh, no. He bats for the pink team.


That is tragique.

I know.

Well, it's like all truly great love affairs.



It wasn't Reno. It was Tahoe, baby.

And it was lovely.

Get a room.

Get away.

Shot of Patrón, please.

Make it two. Make it two.

Looking kind of lonely there, Jack.

Liberated, maybe.

Libated, definitely.

But lonely, no. Never lonely.



How's it going?

God. What are we, in junior high? lowa, are you still mad at me?

You know, because if you are...

...bring it on, baby.

Are you drunk?

Oh, I love this song. Yes!

Oh, you rock.

Yeah, baby. You rock.

I'm sorry for being a class-A prick.

You were.

I was.

And, as of about...

...some time ago, I am officially a single man.

You and Natalie broke up?

That we did.

Which explains why I am here alone.


...why are you here alone?

Do I really look alone to you?

Come here.



Oh, my feet are killing me. Take off these shoes, please. Help me.

Wait, wait. Be careful.

I got it. No. No.


Good night.

Here. Yeah.



Cute jammies.

My mother got me these, thank you very much.

And I haven't worn them yet, so....

Go figure.

I forgot to lock the door.

Got it? Good.

Good night.

Back again?

Water. Don't want a hangover.


Good night. Again.

Night. Again.

Now, I know-- I know I forgot something else.

I remember I locked the door.

That's it. Hungry. I'm hungry.


What is so funny? Jack! Well, you're--

Well, I never.

Jack. Want a cookie?


All right. Jack.

It's your loss. You change your mind...

...you know where they are.

Sweet love Tr apped in your love I've opened up Unsure I can tr ust My heart and I wer e bur ied in dust

So it's official.


You are definitely not gay.

So, what about Natalie?

Natalie who?

I found a man I can trust And, boy, I believe in us I am terrified to love For the first time Can you see That I'm bound in chains I finally found my way I am bound to you

Do that again.

Now come here.

I mean, I don't really know what happened.

I had won the Nashville Teen Songwriting Contest.

I even still have my little trophy.

So I took that as--

I thought I was supposed to do something important with my life.

Then I got to L.A.

And nothing happened.


Well, you know what?

I believe your music is ready.

The question is...

...are you ready?

For what? Are you ready? Here I come.

I knew it. Natalie.

You are a liar. A pathetic, sneaky little liar!

What is she doing here?

I live here. I wanna know why you are here.

I can't believe I bought your bullshit. "She's nothing. She's not even pretty."

Well, at least you were honest about one thing.

You said that? I did not.

He did. No, I didn't.

Yes, he said that. Look....

I'm sorry, could you just give me some time--?

You're asking me to leave?

No. Yes, you. I'm the fiancée.

You told me you broke it off with her. I did.

You break up with me over the phone?

I'm out of here. You told me it was over. No. Ali.

Ali, please. What, Jack?

I am sorry. So am I.

I'm out.

Ali, wait. Please.

I must have the wrong apartment.

Who are you looking for?

I'm looking for Sean. Sean.

What's he look like?

Yea high.

Shaved head.

Brown eyes. Glasses.


I've been calling him John.

No, it's Sean.

Is that him?



What are you doing here? It's a long story.

I shouldn't have come here.

I see I've obviously interrupted something.

Might be a bad time.

No, that's okay.

I'm sorry. Ali, did you meet...

...Mike? Close. My name is Mark.

Hi, Mark.


Does anybody want any coffee?

Yeah. Why don't I go make the coffee...

...and you guys get better acquainted.

Sorry. Did I call you Mike last night?

Yes. Yeah.

But I called you John, so.... Really?

You liked it.

John was my mother's name.

Hey. Hey, gorgeous.

Hey, Marcus.

You okay? You sound down.

I've been better.

Well, I have just the cure.

What's that? Me.

Why don't you come over for dinner?

Okay, well....

Bye. Yeah, bye. You....

You take care...

...Sean. You too. Okay.

Okay, bye.

Is Ali here?

Ali left.

She went with Marcus.

Is that true?


What? She left a couple hours ago.

I told you that opportunity wouldn't knock forever.

You're right. It doesn't.



It's Mark.


Do you want to have some lunch?

Yeah. Sure.

You're cooking.

I just wasted my whole goddamn afternoon...

...talking with the vice president of loans.

This asshole-- No, wait. He didn't even look me in the eye.

He just sat there, playing with this wooden thingy on his desk.

What thingy? What? The long wooden block thingy.

The nameplate?

Yes. Nameplate.

Yeah, and?

And he's not gonna give me the money.

Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.

I'm not a good risk.

And I've got two days before the bank takes the club.

Well, then...

...I would say that the situation is pretty bleak.

And I would say that you are a master of the fucking obvious.

Why did you say that?

What do you mean, "Why did I say that"? Because it's the truth.

Tess, it's not a judgment, it's the truth.

You don't have any money.

The bank won't give you a loan. It's the eleventh hour.


If I were you, I would take Marcus's offer now.


And you don't get to say that to me.

I can take "the sky is falling" from everyone else, but not you.

You know, I need you to be the one that says:

"It's only a number, Tess."

We have killed ourselves to keep this place going.

How can you just walk away?

I don't care if you walk away, I don't care what happens.

I will beat down the door of every bank in L.A.

I will never give up this club.

Are you sure?

I will never give it up.

There she is.

I thought I'd lost you for a minute at the beginning there.

You are such an asshole.

Thank you.

Hope you're hungry.

Steaks are on.

What is this?

Right now it's a model.

When it grows up it'll be multi-use space...

...residential, retail.

But this is the Burlesque Lounge.

Best view on the Sunset Strip...

...with no windows.

When I'm through with it, it'll have a thousand.

Does Tess know about this?

Tess knows I've made an offer to buy. What makes you think she'd sell?

I don't think she has a choice. She's going under.

It's a win-win situation for everyone. It's business, not personal.

I think it's personal for Tess.

And for Coco and Sean and....

What about me?

There are other clubs that you can sing and dance in. Better ones.

You don't get it.

I don't understand. I'm trying to do something that benefits everyone.

How does that make me the bad guy? It doesn't, Marcus.

It just makes you the wrong guy.


So how'd it go at the bank?

This good.

You want a glass for that?

No, no. I am way beyond a glass.

Tess, I gotta talk to you. Not right now.

Marcus is gonna tear down the club and build a skyscraper.

And how do you know this?

I saw the model. I didn't know you were close.

We're not. I rushed over so I could tell you.

You're spreading yourself a little bit thin.

Jack, Marcus, whoever.

Tess, I'm trying to help you.

Let it go. She's gotta listen.

Okay. Let it go, let it go.

She needs to listen. She can't now.

Well, she's gonna hear me. Watch this.

Tess, I gotta talk to you.

You could knock. This is still my office. You need to hear what I tell you.

I don't. I am tired of talking. I am talked out.

Hear me out. I don't wanna hear you out.

Do you ever listen to anything other than your own voice?


Have you ever heard of air rights?

No, I've never heard of air rights. What are air rights?

Now, that's funny.

Jim, let me call you back, huh?

Please sit down.

A few years ago you wanted to buy my club and I said no.

Yeah, and now you changed your mind?

No, but just bear with me for a second...

...because I promise this is gonna have a happy ending for both of us.

How much you planning to sell your condos for?

Well, they start at a million and go up from there, depending on the view.

That's beautiful.

So, what if I told you that a 20-story office building...

...was going up where my club is?

That would block his view.

Ten stories would block his view. Yeah. Gone.

The way I see it, your beautiful million-dollar ocean and city views...

...are just gonna vanish into thin air.

Vanish. Yeah.

Because tomorrow I am going to sell my club to this developer...

...and his 20 stories are gonna be well underway by the time you start selling.

Trying to sell. Yeah. Right.

And so I think that we should talk.

I'd listen to her.

We're gonna have to auction off everything.

Anything you want me to keep for you?


I just wanna try and do what's best for both of us.

You gonna shoot me? Please?

No. I'm gonna buy you out.

In the next 24 hours?

No, in the next 24 seconds.

Where did you get this?

Thin air.

Oh, baby.

Thank you.

Just put it out in the universe.

What would really make me so happy...

...is to hear from you...

...a great, big, giant, fat:

"Thank you, Ali."

I didn't sleep with Vince, I just said that to hurt you.

I crossed the line.

You think?

I wanna come home.

Okay, you're home.

Now get your ass upstairs and get ready, you're on in 20 minutes.

And if you ever pull half of the crap that she pulled...

...you are gonna be out so quick it's gonna make your head spin.

Yes, ma'am.

And don't ever call me "ma'am" again.

I'm gonna go get dressed for the show.

Thank you, Ali.

So this is what happens when you get a little money?

You stop doing manual labor.

I'm back there with broken zippers...

...and ostrich feather fans that won't open or close.

You have no idea what it's like. No idea.

I quit. Quit.

Can I use this? Don't touch my stuff.

I've been looking for you.

Well, you found me.

I wanna talk to you.

I really have to get ready.

I know I messed up, okay? Bigtime.

When? When you lied to me about your engagement being over...

...or when you kicked me out?

It really was over. Okay? And she's gone.

I'm here to apologize.

No, no. Hey.

I never should have let you walk out that door.

Go on.

I want you to come back.

So, what's the proposal, exactly?


...I still have that full box of cookies.

And an empty day bed.

I want the bedroom.


So are you in or are you out?

Oh, Jack. Now, see...

...I'm the kind of girl that, when a friend's in trouble, I help.

That's just who I am.

Shut up.

Okay, then. All right.


I finished a song.

I think it's pretty good.

Can I hear it? No.

But you can sing it.

Underneath the city lights There is a world few know about Where r ules don't apply, no And you can't keep a good girl down

Baby doll just come to life Under the spotlight All the girls wanna fall in line We say hey Here come the ladies 'Bout to give a little show Hey Here go the boys They're gonna show a little more

Hit it up, get it up Won't let you r est Hit it up, get it up This is not a test Hit it up, get it up Gotta give me your best So get your ass up Show me how you bur lesque