Burning Dog (2020) Script


What the fu... Uh, oh, fuck me.

Not again. Shit.

Oh, sh...


What's...? You were out, kid.

Oh, my head.

Easy. Steady, steady, steady. Take it easy. Relax.

Relax? With these? Wh... What's going on here?

You're at the Hollywood Police Station, and the handcuffs are just standard procedure.

After the goat rodeo I've been through, I swear, I won't cause you any problems.

Well, I should hope not. I'm sticking my neck out for you here, Five.


Captain wants you in interrogation.

Wha... Find out what you know.

The captain's involved? I convinced him to give me a bit of time with you.

What I want in return is your cooperation.


Can I count on you for that?

I just wanna go home, all right? I'll tell you everything.

Please, will you just take these cuffs off?

Okay. Good.

Put your hands up.

Hey, thank you, all right? Those hurt. Is this your office?

Not exactly. We'll get to that.

That's a nasty bruise. Here.

Is it?

Hold that.

Oh, that feels good.


You remember how you got here?

Uh, hey, wait. Where are your boys, Smythe and Wesson? Uh, are they okay?

Look, I think it's sweet, all right?

Sweet that you're concerned about Smythe and Wesson.

It's not sweet. I...

But you're the one in the hot seat, not them.

What? Okay?

I'm in the hot seat? What I need from you is any and all details in regards to this whole blackmail conspiracy thing.

Now you give me that, and you can go home tonight. You want to go home tonight, don't you?

Wow. You are a detective.

That's good. I know.

You're getting your sense of humor back.

I want you to think. Think back.

Okay. You remember how you got here?

How the fuck could I forget?

Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on. Sorry.

I should've been more specific. Start at the beginning.

Oh, from the beginning?

Now that is what I'm fuckin' talking about.

A world that is both organic and visceral, yet manufactured, you know?

A world that's light, yet dark. Characters that you love...

Yet despise.

Okay, so it was a big day, all right?

My final pitch for a video game called Stones and Bones .

But as usual, my boss was obsessing over the next shiny thing.

Go ahead. Say it. I nailed it, right?

I don't like your pitch. I like this game. Your pitch sucks ass.

You do your job. Stick to your fucking job. Stick to your job.

Did I say to make it suck balls? 'Cause if I did, you succeeded.

Blaming me for your problems isn't gonna solve anything, okay?

You've got one day to come up with something fresh.

One day? Blow my fuckin' mind.

If you don't, then we'll just go another way, and you can make all the phone calls to your mommy that you want, all right?

So, this guy is such an asshole. Stones and Bones was his idea.

So, you're a video game designer, huh?


I'm sure your game is great.

Not really.

What are you, uh, do the, uh, like, shooting, a shooting game type of stuff?

They're called first-person shooters.

That's my specialty.

Douchebag had me working on a roleplaying game for eight-year-olds.

All right, remember, look.

The truth is in the details, and we're trying to get to the truth today.

Now, do you remember the first time that you saw Smythe and Wesson?

So, Ted kicked me out of his office.


And I was freaking out, right?

I'm out of Adderall, my world was a blur, and I got one day to come up with a new game or I was fired, so with a gun to my head, a cup of coffee.

All right, fine. I had three cups of coffee, and a shot of lemonade.

I came up with the perfect plan.

It was flawless. The Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey at Rocco's.

But then I saw these kids run into Rocco's and one of them was holding something.

Then they ran out empty-handed.

It was some toy.

They'd left it in the middle of the doorway.

I saw the kids with a woman.

A guy was giving her cash.

I look back at the toy and figured I should say something but then suddenly, they were gone.

It was strange how fast they disappeared.

Weird, right?

I didn't want to just leave it there, so I picked it up.

I was going to give it to Sylvie, you know in case they came back for it.

What the hell are you doin'? Excuse you, dude. Jeez.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. That looks good.

Okay. Would you like anything else?

Uh, just some ranch dressing when you're ready.

Hi, Sylvie.

How are you?

Good. Hey, those kids left this toy in the doorway. Do you know them?


Happening? What?

Not too much. Not too much. What?

Okay. Uh, what are you having today?

What I always have, The Wakey.

Special it is. What?

Sylvie, what's going on with you? Sylvie? What...

You want bread with that? I'm gluten sensitive, you know that.

That right? What?

You want coffee? White, as usual?

Uh, yeah. I'll be right back with that white coffee.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Please do.

Hey, did you see the game? You can call it football mecca.


But they can't play like that, you know?


You need a line. They don't have a... Did you watch...

You got the video clip? Excuse me?

You are screwed, my friend. Look at me. Look at me!

No intercourse at all...

I... Wesson, none.

Wait, what do you mean by "intercourse?" No.

Oh, we got a runner! Hey! Where you going?

I just got my burger. You run after him!

Hey! Stay right... Stay right there! Stop!

Watch out! Watch out!

Get back here!

Hey! I'm over here!

Sylvie! Look out! He's got a gun! Ah!

Run! Look, he's right behind you!

What? Look out!

Hey! I will kick your...

Hey, what are you doing?

You gotta help me! He's got a gun! Stop him! Freeze!

He's got a gun!


Help! Somebody help me! Shit.

Help me!

Come on! Stop! Are you all finished with the shenanigans? Oh, shit!

Look, I'm not good at running, but I am good at shooting.

What the fuck? No. Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

What the...? Look out! Look out!

Ugh! How could I forget the girl?

Oh, my God. She was amazing.

I got it. Move it along.

This girl practically saved my life.

So I'm in the pool drowning.

Are you okay?

Oh, my God. What happened? She bends over and grabs me with her two hands, and pulls me up.

Dude, up here.

Oh, I, I, wasn't looking. Seriously?

No, I...

Well, are you my new partner, or what? That was excellent. Are you okay?

That guy just fell in the water.

Oh, don't worry about it. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

How are ya? Why do you have a gun?

Watch out, guys. He has a gun!

Excuse me. The gate is locked.

Ah, fuck!

That is it! That is it.

No. Don't shoot. You. Get over here. Right now!

Sorry. Wait! Whoa, whoa, wait! Wait! Wait!

The fence lock! Fuck! It's dead!


Hey, you gotta help me! You gotta help me! There's this...

And then I was out.

I eventually came to, and that is when I first met Eddie and Bill.

I don't care.

Yeah, but it's really bizarre, right? He's soaking wet.

I do not get it. Is this a double cross? Did Denon send him?

I don't see how Denon would know. He doesn't have the sample clip on him.

He's fucking faking it.

I didn't hit him that hard.

I don't think so, Babe Ruth.

You were swinging for the cheap seats.

Hey, hey, hey, there he is.

Please, go check on the cops, would ya? Please? I'm sorry, man.

All right. I'm sorry.

Are you okay? Come on.

Here we go. Easy, now.

You took a, uh, nasty hit to the head, okay?

I want you... You're safe now, so I want you to have a little bit of water. Just a little.

Oh, yeah.

There we go.

You're spilling a little.

Wait, wh... what happened? What happened?

What happened was you jumped in the middle of my rice bowl, asshole. Who are you?

Who are you? Ah, ah.

Pay attention.

What? This is not a game.


Why did you pick up the toy? What toy?

It's a coincidence, Eddie. Let's bounce.

You work for Denon? Denon? Who's Denon?

Hm? What?

You know what? He's comin' with us. What?

I, I don't believe in coincidences.

Come on. There we go. There we...

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Ah! Why did you have to hit so hard?

I didn't know he was such a lightweight.

Five-oh, Eddie!

I'll go. Okay? Hey, stay the fuck out of my way.

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. Wait, hold on.

Hold on.

It's gonna take a lot longer than I thought, and I'm starving.

Yeah, I'm famished.

You want a veggie wrap?

No. I'll, uh, I'll take a ham and cheese.

Ham and cheese? No ham and cheese here. Judy?


Yeah, can I get two veggie wraps? All the fixin's and balsamic.

Really don't want that. Copy.

Thanks, babe! Yes, Detective.

I'd take you for a steak guy.

I don't eat that flesh. You'll kill yourself. All right.

What do you know about this guy?

Beyond the fact that he's a twat? He's the muscle. His name's Bill.

That's right. And what about this guy?

Eddie. The sadistic fucker in charge. They're with the blackmailers.

A couple of real gems.

Been in and out of the system for as far back as I can remember.

Why'd they knock you out?

To score the ransom.

See, Eddie and Bill had to prove they had the blackmail video.

The proof was on a SD card they put inside that damn toy.

The one they paid the kids to deliver to Smythe.

But I blew that plan up when I picked up the toy.

So, Eddie grabbed me, a complete fucking stranger, because he thought I was double-crossing him.

Wait. So, let me get this straight. Hold on. Okay.

Alright, so Smythe and Wesson were there to, to pick up the blackmail clip.


Eddie pays the kids to put it inside of a toy and put it in a doorway.


You inadvertently picked up that toy...

Hm-hm. Hence fucking up their blackmail scheme.

Right. Then Eddie thinks that you're involved. Is that about right?

More or less.

Okay. Well, then why don't you answer me one question.

Why would you run from Smythe and Wesson?

Get down on the ground.

Wait! No, no! No! Get down on...

Oh, I should have just stayed there and let that maniac shoot me?

No. I'm gonna run. It's LA.

Hey! Help me! Stop! Stop!

This guy's got a gun.

Yeah, I got knocked out again.

He lives at 315 Tujunga, number five.

No felonies, just parking tickets.

Give me that. Give me that. Why is he wet?

Detective Wes, why were you chasing number five?

Number five?

He lives in apartment number five.

You guys ask more questions than a bunch of preschoolers.

Why don't you put him in Detective Smythe's car and get back on patrol.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Pick him up!

All right, all right! Wesson's a fuckin' dick.

Yeah. Smith is worse. He's an asshole.

Smythe. Smith?

Smith-Smythe, they're all the same.

Are you guys gonna make out with him? Let's go! Put him in the car!

We're comin'! Let's get him.

The next thing I remember, I woke up in the back of Smythe's SUV.

And given the conversation, I wished they'd knock me out again.

Are you that afraid to call Julie?

She's with a client. What do you think of this? Please tell me.

It's a zit. No, it's not a zit.

All right, an ingrown hair.

It's not an ingrown hair. Not a skin tag. It's a cyst!

It's not a cyst. Don't say it's a... take that back. Please take that back.

Whatever. It's not a cyst. Thank you.

What's going on? What's... Hey!

Who are you guys? What's up, Five? How are you?

Uh, you... you tackled me.

Hey. Maybe you learned your lesson. You don't run from the cops.

Cops? You... you never said that you were the c...

You knew we were officers of the law when you, uh, ran in possession of an illegally obtained video clip.

What are you talking about? I... I didn't...

Listen, friend. You had a video clip of a dude doing a lewd act.

And then you were blackmailing him. Shut up.

Blackmail? No. Look, look.

I was getting breakfast. All I did was pick up that toy, and then...

You ran. That's what guilty people do. Why don't you shut up?

Guilty? I ran because I saw your guns. I...

You shoulda shown me your badges instead, and then I...

Hey! We have you on evasion. We have you on possession of an illegally obtained video clip.

That's two felonies. Oh, my God.

End of story. You talk some more, I'm gonna lock your ass up, in county.

Wait. You got it wrong.

Your ass wouldn't last twenty minutes in there.

I... I'm hurt. I need to go to the hospital. Please.

Start cooperating with us, Five. Tell us where your partners are.

Five? Wait, why are you calling me Five?

It's your new nickname.

What? 'Cause you live in apartment five.

Oh, my God.

So that's why they call you Five, huh?

Yeah. Original, right?

Who knew cops could be so witty?

Uh, you mind if I sit there?

No. Please.


My leg's throbbing like a bastard.

Big ass mistake running from the cops. We hate it when people run.

I just told you, I didn't know they were cops.

They started yelling and they had guns, so I took off.

They never identified themselves as police officers?

No, they didn't. They were just two maniacs with guns.

If I had known they were cops, I would've cooperated.

I've never even been arrested before.

DFI's for you.

Wait, DFI's? I just heard that. What does that mean?

Yeah, that's, um, that's an inside thing, "Dumb Fuckin' Idiots." It...

But let's just stay on track. You were in, uh, Smythe's car, right?

Yeah. That's the first time I noticed Smythe's, uh, I don't know, what, condition?

So, you caught that, huh?

It's pretty tough to miss, right? Yeah.

What the fuck?

All right with the seat. Come on.

Wait, wait, wait. And...

That's perfect. All right.

I'm doing my checks. Mirror, gas, oil, battery looks good.

Let's see if the radio's on.

Take this down. That's not safe.

Where were they taking you?

Julie's house. Smythe's girlfriend.

But I'm just saying that in Europe, they'll have a conversation that doesn't involve work and doesn't involve responsibility.

I'm trying to tell ya.

It's just more civilized. I, I would love to be able to have that with you.

All right, so then let's do it. Let's do it. Ready? Okay. That's not funny.

We got nothing to talk about. That's not true.

We got nothing to talk about. We have stuff.

Uh, wait. This isn't the police station.

Bravo. You just figured that out on your own?

Well, where are we then?

Hey, wait.

Get out.

Are you even listening?

Let's go.

Listen, where are we? I...

Just go in. Okay.

She never locks it. Excuse me, Officer.

Let's go. Wait. Will you please just tell me where we are?


That's exactly right. That's completely what I mean. What the fuck?

And then it's island time.

Right? It's all coming tog... What?

Stranger danger. Shit!

Hey, Julie.

You scared me.

Your friend is crusty. I don't trust him.

Pat? He's just a guy that runs my website.

Takes care of the money, all the tech stuff.

They did a real bang up job with your internet security.

If you're connected to the internet you can be hacked.

Getting hacked not good for business.

It is the price of doing business, Wes.

So, did it go all right?

We brought back the contact.


Contact? What do you mean, "the contact?"

I... I'm not the contact. The contact.

Hey, hey, hey. What's up, baby? How are ya?

Hey, this is for you. Not good.

This is for you. I'll explain. Take this, go to the other room. Give us a moment, okay?

They have the wrong guy. What the fuck?

Get out of here. No. I'm not gonna get out of here. Listen.

Help me. You need to help me.

I said show's over.

I'm coming. Sit down.

Don't talk. Don't move, and don't listen.


Don't listen. What the fuck?

You try to run again, I will tackle your shit and kill you.

Fuck. Jeez.

Smythe? Hm-hm. Talk to your guy in IA?

Hey. You know that I'm not involved in this.

What did you do to my computer? It's tweaking. I don't know. Let me see it.

No, no, no. You've done enough, thank you.

Help me with my computer. Back up. Just...

Help me with my computer, but don't come close to me. I mean, this is...

I got both of you, like, she's yelling at me. It's like woodpeckers.

Like am I crazy? Seriously, Five.

What? Help me out here.

Help you out? Julie.

Is that the nobody the hackers are blackmailing?

Is that who I think it is? Huh?

That's... that's the John? That's the...

He can crush us, man. You lied to me.

I did not lie to you. I just didn't tell you his name.

Didn't tell... He's... he's still a john, Wesson. I just didn't think...

You didn't think what?

Holy shit! Are you kidding me?

Relax, okay? We're not going to prison. Prison?

Are you in trouble? We're not going to prison.

Fuck Five! Fuck you!

Don't tell me to fucking relax.

Guys like that, you don't fuck with them, they fuck with you.

What were you thinking about? Julie put you up to this?

No! No. Julie didn't put me up to this.

Leave her out of this. Things are good right now.

Hey, tell me about the Cherokee house.

Really? The Cherokee house?

Hey. Hey, what are you guys involved in?

The Cherokee house. The Russians are not going to let this go.

How can you not be concerned? Will you listen to me?

Hey. What is going on here?

Listen to me. Don't... uh, you know, he's not going anywhere.

Out there, mon frère.


Don't think about going anywhere. All right?

I'm not.


Why were you at the café?

To be honest, breakfast.

I go there all the time.

Please. All I did was pick up that toy.

Next thing I know, all those guys were screaming at me and pointing guns.

So, I ran, and that's it.

Can you get them to let me go? I have no clue what this is all about.

Hmm. So, no clue about any of this?

No. Nothing.

Sylvie the waitress was freaked out, which freaked me out, so I ran.

I mean, that's how all this shit started.


Good? Trust me. If I had known they were cops, I never would've run in the first place.

I design video games, for God sakes. I've never even been arrested.


They think that I was in... They think you what?

They think I have something to do with that video clip they were watching.

Okay. Who showed him the clip? I didn't say they showed it to me.

They're threatening me with, with lawsuits and prison time.

He hacked your account. That's not jail time.

Denon said... Who's Denon?

He's the guy my client hired. And he got kicked out of Afghanistan.

So, your client hired ex-military? I mean, wh... why am I involved in this?

Uh, partners, friends, the list goes on and on.

This has gone to shit faster than a DFI.

A DFI? What's a DFI?

Dumb Fucking Idea.

No, no, no. Go, sit down. Sit down. All right. All right.

No, no. Come on. Sit down. I going. I'm going.

Don't move. All right.

What'd you do to my computer? What did I do?

It's acting funky. I opened up your emails and I...

No, you didn't. That's all I did.

Shut up about the freaking computer.

Honey. Baby, what are you... why are you so excited right now?

We have to get rid of him. Yes.

He's gonna ruin everything. No, we can't... he's our link to the blackmailers.

That's it. I'm not.

We need him. He's our ace in the hole. My God.

He doesn't know anything. Exactly.

He saw your guns and he freaked out. How could you guys screw this up?


Oh, shit.

Angel. Uh-huh.

Want to lose your badge?

We're not gonna lose our badge. We're partners.

What is wrong with you? Since when do you run away from danger?

I'll tell you what.

I got your six.

Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing? No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? Sit down.

Okay. Okay! Sit down!

Relax. You get up one more time...

Relax. I got him.

What are you doing? I don't know. I freaked out.

Don't do that. Okay.

What, are you gonna run? It's Hollywood.

Look, I got your six until the drop, and then after that, you're on your own.

Okay, well good.

All I need is a little cover on this Denon guy, and then your services are rendered.

My services are rendered? What's that supposed to mean?

So, I was thinking... Hey, hey.

You were right. We should hang on to him.

Oh, I like that. I was right. Did you hear that, Wess?

So why the sudden change of heart?

Ace in the hole, like you said. And shit happens.

So Denon wants the clip delivered here.

Oh. Hey.

Who was on the phone? Julie, who were you ta...

Absolutely. Come on. Let's get out of here before I start puking.

Wesson, I'll be out in ten minutes, okay? Ten minutes.

Is anyone gonna tell me what's going on here?


Did you know who the client was before you asked me to help you?

Don't pet a burning dog.

Don't pet a burning dog.

What the fuck does that mean?

My guess, he thinks Smythe might get burned by her.

And by her, you mean her.

Uh, yeah. That's Julie. This all started with her video sex chat thing.

Okay, explain to me again how she's involved.

She's Smythe's girlfriend.

She was performing a live sex act for the client on her computer.

Eddie and Bill hacked in, got video of this client jerking off.

They blackmailed him with it, but he wanted proof that the video even existed and that is what was inside the toy, a sample clip.

If the client doesn't pay, they'll release it.

Did you see who the client was?

No. Wesson did, though, and it scared him shitless.

He can crush us, man.

'Cause he's so powerful?

"Ruin your life" kind of powerful.

Hang on!

Details. I need details.

Detail? I'm giving you details.

Thanks, doll.

Well, it's all starting to become a little clearer now.

Smythe and Wesson had to drop off the clip to the client's guy and then they were done, is that right?

Yeah, Denon.

Remember, the clip proved they had a video of Julie's client beating off.

I could tell they were nervous.

Stay here. I'll check it out.

Yeah? That is when you called Wesson.

I'm helping Smythe out. Yeah.

I was trying to listen in on what you guys were talking about.

All right. No, no, no.

And that's when things really got strange.

Huh? Ah, fuck. Smythe's gone.

Shit. Hey, Jake? If I don't call you back in a few minutes, why don't you swing by?

Yeah, I just, I don't have a good feeling about this.

Yeah, I'll text you the address.

All right.

Don't even think about going anywhere.

Really? Doors are child locked.

Mm. Yet you can open them. Hm.

And I know where you live. Yeah. I just won't move, okay?

Don't move. Oh. Yep. That's a better idea. Thanks.


Could you spare a dollar?

Hey. How about five?

Hey, hey, open the door. You got ten?

Listen, open the door! Just open the door! Come on.

No, dude. Listen! Open the door! Hey.

Fuck. All right. You're coming with me, sweetheart.

Who the fuck are you? Let's go. Come on.

Come on. I'll make these things hurt.

They already hurt! Who are you, man?

No funny stuff.

Who are you? Please, tell me who you are.

Where's Smythe and Wesson? Tell me something.

I'll tape your mouth up if you don't shut the fuck up. You got it?

All right. Okay.

Hey, Denon. Yeah, you copy? All right, I got the guy.

No, I'm not the guy. I'm bringing him in.

I'm not the guy! Let's go.

Move it.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Aw, walk much?

You pushed me. Is that necessary?

Take it easy on him.

Hey, what's going on here, you guys? You guys are handcuffed?

Who is this?

Jack Off. Uh, I'm nobody.

Dad's name is Fuck Off.

Well you're a regular raconteur.

Hey, watch your fancy words there, buddy.

Told you he was a real rebel without a cause.

Yeah, now I see what you're talking about.

And the other one thinks he's a stand-up.

I'm more of an insult guy.

Who are these guys? To be quite honest.

Speaking of which, your bar mitzvah called.

Wants its suit back.

Take the cuffs off us. Come on, we're cops.

What's going on?

That's funny?

It's pretty funny. Yeah.

You're swimming in shit, and you think it's chocolate.

Smythe and Wesson were talking a lot of shit to Denon, 'cause they didn't know yet about the Cherokee House surveillance video he had.

Another video? Oh, yeah.

Really? Hm-hm.

Of who? Hey!

Get these cuffs off me or I'll kick your... Shut your cock holster!

You're really pushing it. Bob, video.


Watch this.

You guys went to that house to check out a lead.

You don't check out a lead in full tactical gear.

You wanted to start a fire fight with those Russians.

You used lethal force, put a suspect in the hospital.

Now you're suspended.

This is all internal affairs needs to bury you both.

You guys are suspended?


What does that prove?

Intent. Shit.

Where'd you get the video?

My client will validate his misconduct on your recording.

Upon confirmation, I will set the meet in exchange.

Now we will rendezvous in three hours and counting down.

Hey, asshole.

Where'd you get the Cherokee surveillance video?

Your Russian friends were more than happy to sell it to me.

Russian friends? Oh, my God.

I have unlimited resources at my fingertips.

You cannot turn around in this city without me knowing about it.

Video clip.

It's in my jacket pocket.

Hey, you know I can't guarantee that Julie's not gonna go to the Feds.


Don't worry about the Feds, Smith.

Just yourselves.

Son of a bitch. I can't promise that you...

Get this done or kiss your careers goodbye.

Good? We're good on my end.

Smith and Wesson, seriously? You guys really wanted to partner up that badly?

That's our fucking names. Get over it.

And it's Smythe. It's Smythe. With a Y.

I know where you live, Five.

What? Huh?

Cause any problems, you become fair game.

I'm not. I'm not... I will hunt ya ass down.

How does he know where I live? Call me on this number.

We meet at 16:00.

Now less than three hours.

My geek checks the drive.

You get the payment.

This all goes away.

We get the Cherokee House surveillance video?

That's the plan, but don't be late, or IA gets a sneak peek at your movie debut.

Hey, what about the, um, the plan where we arrest you and throw your ass in jail?

Yeah. What about that plan? Where you get booty raped?

I would worry less about me and more about that spot on your partner's neck.

What? What did you just say?

It looks like melanoma.

Sorry, Smith. I mean, you know the mnemonic.

A, B, C, D, E...

You're an asshole. That's bullshit. That's bullshit, okay?

First of all, it's Smythe, and it's not cancer. Melanoma.

That's bullshit. Don't...

Hey, the clips will be on the table.

Sir. Could you take these cuffs off, please?

How did he know about that thing on my neck?

Okay, thank you. Hey, tell your asshole friend it's... it's not cancer.

I can go now? No. You need to get over here.

No, no, no. I'm out of here. No. Hey, screw you guys, all right?

No, you guys are suspended, all right? You're gonna get me killed. I'm done.

Five. No, I'm out of here. I don't care.

Stop, right there. Turn. You've gotta be kidding me.

Against the wall. Spread your legs. Okay, okay.

Hands behind your back. Five, come here.

Don't move. Bring the kid here.

Who are you? Where's Smythe and Wesson?

I was there, genius. I know.

Don't be scared. Take a bite. It's not going to kill you.

Ugh, tastes like it could.

See? Pretty good, right?

Yeah. For cardboard.

Tell me about this mysterious suit guy.

Denon, he ever use a name for him?


Tell the boss we're good on my end.

No. He never called him by name.

Come on, man. Details.

Remember, the truth is in the details.

Now I have to know about this mysterious suit guy.

Say anything at all. What do you remember?

There's nothing to remember. I don't know his name. I never saw him again.

Yeah? You do not have to remind me twice, Captain.

Where were we?

Smythe and Wesson, after that whole thing with Denon, getting handcuffed and threatened, they were nuclear pissed.

...right now. Here I am, you know, making fun of your rage issues... in a moment like this, that motherfucker cuffs me.

Okay? And I see how you lose control. Look at me. I'm using profanity.

When do... when do I use profanity?

This Denon guy will regret the day that he put a handcuff on Smythe.

I'm gonna stop off up here and get a blowjob real quick. I gotta blow off some steam.

What? You wanna do it for me?

I'm okay. I'm okay, thanks.

You wanna do it for me?

Oh, now he's not talking.

But what really scared them was the Cherokee House surveillance video.

The one the Russians sold to Denon. So, then they went to go talk to them.

Hold on. Wait a second.

Wesson went to go talk to Vlad about the Cherokee footage?

Yeah. There's Vlad.

I can't believe that asshole sold the Cherokee video to Denon.

Ah, my doctor's booked for a month.

If IA gets ahold of that video, we're fucked.

That's what you get, HMO.

What do you want me to do here?

Just cover my back this time.

And try not to get the Ebola while I'm gone.

The Ebola? Okay, you try not to shoot somebody in the next ten minutes.

You can't get Ebola in this country anymore, okay?

The chances are, like, 3.14.

Which is also Pi.

That's above his mental pay grade.

Mm. Funny.

Look at that. Look who's calling me. Julie?

Baby doll, how are y... I'm good.

What's going on? No, go ahead. What's going on?

Hey, isn't that...? Pat did what?

You're breaking up. Did... did you see that guy?

You're breaking up. I just heard you s... Pat's got a lead on the hacker?

Smythe. Where are we picking it up?

Whatever. Baby girl? Hello?

Wesson. Will you take these cuffs off? What?

Will you take these cuffs off, please? Isn't this cruel and unusual punishment?

Yeah, right. You are staying cuffed.

All right, ho... ho... hold up a second.

Here, take a look.

Okay. Uh, that's Vlad.

That's right. And what about this guy?

Marek. That's Marek. Mr. Blue Boots.

He was following us in that black car.

These guys are Russian mob, right?

They're exactly Russian mob.

Guys you don't wanna mess with.

All right, the page that Wesson ripped out, did you see what was on it?

Mm, no. It was too quick. Did you see anything?

Anything at all in the book? No. It, was Vlad's book and that's why Smythe and Wesson went to the Cherokee House.

To get that book. Why?

I'm trying to figure out what Smythe and Wesson were on to if it has something to do with that book.

You guys went to that house to check out a lead.

You don't check out a lead in full tactical gear.

You used lethal force, put a suspect in the hospital.

Now you're suspended.

Denon was using the Cherokee video as leverage against Smythe and Wesson.


Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Are you investigating Smythe and Wesson?

At this point, I'm investigating everybody.

Could you hear Wesson talking to Vlad?

Uh, no. All I heard was Smythe kissing Julie's ass.

That's nauseating. All right, look, I've got to switch gears.

All right, you guys were on the way to see Pat, the guy who runs Julie's website. What happened?

I love you. Jesus loves you.

Thank you. God bless you.

Have a wonderful day.

Hey, Dave, what's happening?

What the fuck? What are you doing here?

Jesus, who is this guy?

Uh, we're just, we're looking for Pat.

Pat. There he... Pat! Help us out.

Do you really trust Pat?

Pat? I don't know if I trust his mustache. Yes, I trust Pat.

Why are you not trusting of anybody?

Because I'm a cop. I don't trust anyone.

Buenos tacos, muchachos.

Hey, you know those things cause cancer, right?

Tacos? Shit, what's next?

Hey Pat, we're on the clock man.

Any news about my girl's, uh, computer?

Couldn't track the hacker.

But they used a Trojan horse I recognized.

Written by a kid, Joe Braverman, lives over by Atwater.

That's his digits. Text him Bit Slap sent you. He'll come.

Bitch slap?

Bit. B. I. T.

Butt slap?

Bit slap.

Butt slap. You got food, and you got something on your mustache.

You're the man, Pat.

Needless to say, not surprised Pat has a record.

He's the guy who was on Julie's computer the first time I met her.

He's got petty larceny, pandering, computer shit, just smalltime stuff.

So, where did you get all these files?

We're in a police station, Five.

And it's where we keep them.

Okay then. Jeez.

Now Pat found something on Julie's computer, right? Code.

It was written by Braverman. What is that called?

It's a Trojan horse. Trojan horse. What is that a techie term?

Seriously? I wouldn't know it.


All right, I know you guys went to see Braverman, right?

Yeah. Okay, what happened?

I can't go through here. I can't make this. I can't make this.

Just relax. Breathe. No, I can't.

Oh, I hate this.

Okay, we're good. My God.

That is the worst. I'm sorry. That just spikes my blood sugar.

Could I drive? No.

This is a waste of time.

You really think Denon is gonna run this all the way up the ladder to IA?

Hey, hey, hey. Guys. That's that same car.

Okay, mnemonic. Here we go. Guys.

Yeah, here it is. Mnemonic. Mnemonic is, uh, an abbreviated cheat sheet used by doctors and others...

Why did this bad ass use mnemonic. Why?

He's just trying to get in your head.

Hey, Bit Slap's friends?


All right. Let's go around back. We can talk.

He looks a little dodgy.

I'm Braverman. How can I help you guys?

We just want to talk.

What about? Uh, I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything wrong.

Really? Really? Oh! All right. You know what? You can go.


No. No, fuckwad.

We're cops. We don't trust anybody, especially when they say they didn't do anything.

Trust me. They don't.

All right, so something is going on. My computer just got Mitnicked.

Mitnicked? Kevin Mitnick. Don't worry about it.

And you show up with some guy in handcuffs.

So, you know? No. We don't know.

We're police officers. We ask questions, you answer.

If we're not happy, you get arrested for interfering with an investigation.

I can't get arrested. I'm already on probation.

Oh, he's... he's telling us what he can't do.

Is that just what he said?

He just told us he's on probation. I didn't have to look it up.

I, I, I... I can't tell you.

But I can show you on my computer at my apartment.

Well, it, I mean, it's a hotel room.

You live in a hotel room?

So, the thing about these handcuffs is, uh...

Yeah? The harder you pull on 'em, the more they hurt.

Ah. Right. That's what it is.

I was wondering that, 'cause it... I kept pulling, and then they, they hurt, so... dick.

Shit. Oh, shit. You guys! You guys! You guys!

It's the guy... it's the guy from the car. You guys, behind you!

Where'd they go to?


Where'd they go to, the fuckers?

The Fah-qwahs? Oh, you can't talk?

No English? Russian better?

Hey, blue shoes.

Wesson, come on.

We don't have time for that.

Whoa. What are you doing? No. Wesson, let him go. What are you doing?

This is that fucker from the Cherokee house, remember?

He was wearing a mask.

How do you know that?

Look at the blue boots.

Mr. Blue Boots. He's got the fucking blue boots on.

You shoulda had your mask on your boots instead of your face.

Fuck you. Fuck you, you fucker.

What? Fuck me?

My boss says you hur... Shut up.

Vlad wants new understanding. No more one page at time.

New understanding? I make the understandings.

Give me your license now.

Yeah. Whoa, whoa. What?

This is not a negotiation. We... we... Wesson, watch out! Watch out! Watch out!

Hey! No, no, no, no.

Hey, Wesson! Wesson! Wesson, don't do it. Don't do this. Don't do it!

Oh, my God. Wesson.


Really? He did it. He did it.

What do you mean, he did it?

It's just a flesh wound. No!

Don't be a pussy. Stay right there. Stay right there.

He's running. I'm sorry. I gotta go. Hey. Hey. What did I say?

Don't run.


Wesson. Wesson, are you all right?

Hey, uh, all right. Come here. Come here.

Just let me out, man. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wesson. Wait! Wesson, don't...

Get back over here, Blue Boots! Don't leave me here!

You're leaving me?

You fucking kidding me?

What is going on? This is crazy.

Shit, what? Over here, my man.

Huh? Fuck! Where'd you come from?

I told you to stay the fuck out of my rice bowl.

I know, they won't let me go. Why?

Take it up with them. They'll be back any second. Ah! Fuck!

Let's try again.

They thought I was guilty because I ran.

Oh yeah? You sure?

They're cops. They think I'm guilty.

Why do they think that? Tell me. Why do they think that?

I know that, but why do they think that?

Because they saw me with you. I swear.

You swear? Here, swear to this.

No, no, no. Please. No, please, please, please. I can explain. Please, no.

Shut up. What a bitch.

But you provided me with an opportunity.

Huh? He did?

Move your hand or it's coming off. Move it! Easy. Easy. You son of a bitch.

Gag him. Oh, no. Oh, wait, wait.

Oh, poor baby, baby. No, please, just let me go. Let me go.

Wesson's computer? I got it. Signal's much stronger here.


So Wesson shoots the Russian.

Who are you looking at? Is that the programmer?

Yeah, it's Braverman.


You want a cup of coffee?


Huh? Do you want a cup of coffee?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Hey, Judy? Two coffees, please.

All right, let me get this straight. So...


It all goes to shit when Marek the Russian shows up?

Yeah. Blue Boots.

Smythe chases Braverman. Yeah.

Wesson goes after wounded Marek, right?


And then you're left all alone. Exactly.

Right? Right.

So suddenly, magically, right, out of nowhere, Bill and Eddie appear, and see, that's where your story just doesn't add up.

Magically? Out of nowhere?

No. Eddie and Bill were tracking them through Wesson's computer.

I got it. The signal's much stronger here.

Okay. I'll buy that.

And how come Bill and Eddie took you, though?

To get the drive to Smythe and Wesson.

I was the only one who could identify Eddie and Bill.

Right, but that still doesn't explain why they took you.

They didn't have the drive with them.

What do you mean they didn't have the drive with them?

Just what I said.

You're telling me that the very thing that they needed to get their blackmail done, to... to get their money, they didn't even have it?

That's what I'm saying. You know what this is?

What? Ha! Really? It's called Occam's Razor? You know what that is?

Yeah, it's uh... It means the simplest explanation is the usually the best one.

Yeah exactly. Wait a minute. You think I had something to do with this?

If you are lying to me, I'm going to put you away.

I'm telling you the truth. Why would I lie? Look, don't be stupid.

I told you the truth is in the details, and that's what we're trying to get to today.

Now where did Bill and Eddie take you?

Shh. You guys are so fucked.

You know they're cops, right?

Argh. God, will you just stop hitting me? Please.

You listening? Yes, I'm listening.

Good. Bravo.

Now here's your last warning.

See, your life depends on me getting my fucking money.

You got that? Yeah. Okay, yes. I got that. Yes.

And him. All right. Okay. Okay.

Here we go.

Don't be useless, okay? Okay.

Make sure Smythe and Wesson get the hard drive.

Okay, but how am I supposed to do that? I'm tied up.

Figure it out. All right.

Hello? Hello? Who's there?

Who's th... Smythe.

Smythe? Are you okay, buddy?

Huh. No. I'm not okay. Here's the drive.

They want their money. Let's get out.

Come on, let's go. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God.

Boy we're happy to see you, Five. We thought we lost you.

Hey, Five, if there is any possibility, Five, you can identify these guys, Bill and Eddie, that would help us a lot.

Wait. I don't feel good. Come on, buddy. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

No, I'm not ready. Five.

Hold on. Just... Shit. You all right?

He's all right. He's adjusting to the light. They give you something?

No, it was dark in there. Five, we gotta go, bud.

We gotta go now. Come on.

I'm coming. You fucking assholes!

You wouldn't leave a dog in here with the windows up. Come on.

Stop complaining. We left you a bowl of water.

Yeah, and legally, I left the window open a crack, so you had plenty of water.

Stop touching my nose. What are you...?

What... Is it wet or dry? It's moist. No, you're fine.

Why are you touching my nose? It's dry.

It's kinda dry. If we were in Korea, I could eat you, so don't complain.

You wouldn't...

Ooh, babe. Man, why is that hot girl with such a weird dude?

You've never met Julie before?

Trust me, I'd remember meeting Julie.

He would. What the fuck?

Pat used one of my Trojan horses to hack the CEO's computer.

He's setting me up, and you...

What do you mean, me?

Pat used this computer to hack into the CEO's network.

My computer? Yeah. He's laying digital breadcrumbs from me to you.

Pat is... ...behind all this.

What are you yapping about? Pat runs Julie's website, right?

And he tells you his code is used to hack it, and then he gives you Braverman?

It seems really convenient.

All right. You guys, not a word to Smythe about this, you got me?

All right. What's going on?

What's happening over here? Nothing.

What were you guys talking about?

What are you talking about? I heard my name.

I heard the name Smythe. Well, we were just saying... well, I was saying...

They were asking... Julie. Braverman was saying...

What, Five? Braverman said Julie was way out of your league.

I'm sorry. Braverman said that?

You said that Julie's out of my league?

This is coming from, uh, computer face over here? Mr. Flowbee hair?

Flowbee hair.

Seriously. Okay, time's running out.

There she is. Hi, baby. Hi.

You'll meet Denon there. He'll confirm the drive and give you the cash bonds.

Wesson. Confirm the drive?

Once the blackmailers have the cash, they'll email the password key.

This is untraceable.

Whoa. Where did you get that?

It's a Skymeroe drive? What?

It's verifiable write one data linked to a dynamic IP.

It's... look, it's vital data. It can't be compromised.

Guys, you're going to be late. Come on.

Take Five? Get up. Get Five.

I'll text Denon you're on your way.

What's the provenance of that little book that you keep referring to?

Shh... What? He keeps writing and scribbling...

He's freaking out. Will you get him to stop? Will you stop that?

I'm not a mind-reader. What do you got? Okay, okay, okay.

What's going on? What is his problem? He's texting.

Oh. What does it say? Who are you texting?


Pull over. I gotta take a giant piss.

Oh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Guys, I found a rootkit! It's really sophisticated.

It, it has a number of possible installation, um, vectors to... to... to... to, uh, intercept and modify, um, the, you know, the standard behavior of the API.

Obviously, you don't know your audience.

Uh, right. Old people. Lame.

Well, we're not that old. Old?

We're not that old. Look, you're being tracked and listened to through your computer, Wesson. Oh, fuck.

By who? By whom.

I haven't figured it out yet, but I can cut it off.

No wonder everywhere we go, it's like a flash mob. All right, well, cut it off.

Whoa. No, no. No. Think about this for a second.

They don't know that we don't know that they don't know that we're listening right now, yet.

This is the only time we're gonna have the upper hand.

Let's get in the car now, and give them a little red herring.

Ooh. I like that Okay, let's do it. Come on. Get your hands on the hood. Let's go.

Oh, come on. You wanna mess with my computer?

You wanna mess with Wesson's computer? Come on.

These fuckin' guys.

Jeez. For cops, these guys are really off the reservation.

You have no idea.

What'd you do? They think I'm with the blackmailers.

Really? Swear to God.

Hey, hey, hey! Hands on the car!

All right. Okay!

Jeez. Why don't you just run?

Braverman had a point. If I was gonna make a run for it, this was my chance.

What do you mean your chance?

They were dragging me further down the rabbit hole past the point of no return, so I came up with an escape plan.

If it was me, I'd wanna run too. How'd you plan to get away?

I suggested they were being set up, so I convinced them that I should go to Denon with the hard drive in exchange for the bonds in case, you know, it was a sting, and then I would sneak out the back.

Wow. Look at you.

Right? That's actually brilliant.

Thank you. They go for it?

Good, good, good. Good plan, Five. I'm in.

Right. Are we clear?

Lucent. Yeah.

Wait, what's that even mean?

What does that even mea... hey.

Do you think over the next two hours you could not shoot someone?

Yeah, sure.

I said two hours.

Whatever. Not one hour.

Let's go. Let's go.

Let's do it. Your plan better work, Five. Hey, Five.

Okay. Huh? What?

No more fucking around. Game on. I'm not fucking around.

All right. You help us with this drop, and I will get you back home in the valley safe and sound.

You promise me that? Yeah. Cross my heart and hope to die.

I'm gonna hold you to that.


I know the deal. Denon gets the drive, I get the bonds. I know. But, uh, Wesson?

Yeah? Who the fuck is this? Marek?

Wait. When I come out with the bonds, make sure you're right here? You mean Blue Boots?

Yeah? How's that leg? No, fuck you. You hear me, right?

Wesson. Hey, if you're not out in ten, I'm coming in hot.

Hey, whoa, pump the breaks man. Whoa, whoa.

I'm not stupid, all right? Just wait out here, okay?

I'll be out with the bonds, okay? Do you copy that? All right.

All right, halt.

Oh. I'm going to have to check you for weapons.

Okay. Yeah, sure, but I don't have any. Okay.

Okay, drive.

Yeah, here you go. All right, let's go.

All right.

You, down.

Yep, I'm going. I'm going. Hey. Hola.

Go. Oh.

Come on.

Here you go, Denon. He's clean.

Go on, against the wall. Oh, yep. You got it. No more problem.

Denon, you got a call holding.

Who is it?


He says it's important. He wants to have a word with you.

I think it's Smythe.

Smythe? Why... why is he calling?

Hey, Smith.

Yeah. I need the IP address.

Is he...? Why is Smythe? You.

Okay. Go word?

Funny. So, you've finally figured it out? Abbreviation cheat sheet.

Oh, mnemonic.

Leave the Feds to me.


Denon out.

Mnemonic, that was good.

Denon, uh, Mr. Denon, you... you know I had nothing to do with this, right?

That I actually was in a...

So how is your day going, Five?

Uh, never better.

I bet.

Drive's verified. Video file's intact.

Playtime's over.

Great, just the bonds then? And the video surveillance of Smythe and Wesson.

Listen. Huh?

You look like a nice guy.

Oh, thanks.

They know I'm not giving up the video until I get the key code to that drive.

Oh, okay. So just the bonds then?

Time to leave.

Listen, listen. I can help you.

Someone is tracking their movements and listening on their computer.

Thanks. But that's old news.

Smythe just told me. Now like I said, it is time for you to leave.

Look, all I'm asking for here is a little help.

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Sorry, kid.

Sorry? Listen, I-I... Keep your chin up.

Keep my chin up? What?

You heard the man. Let's go.

I know... what?

So that's it? That's... okay. Shit.

Come on.

Hey, man. Listen. Where's, um, where's... where's the back door?

Right there.

Where? There? Good luck, kid. See you around.


All right. Okay.


Sneaking out the back, really?

Oh, shit! Ah, you scared me, Smythe.

Yeah, man. Um, so it went well with Denon, you know?

He gave me the bonds, wanted to make sure we weren't being followed...

You were gonna run?

What? Run? What? I wasn't gonna run.

No, I was doing the plan. I was trying to protect you guys, right?

Just make sure it wasn't a setup. I mean, that was, that was the plan, right?

What's wrong? Are you okay? Dude, we're cool.

I was gonna come around to the front and I wasn't trying to escape or anything. I, I, I was actually...

Huh? On me? On me?

Hey. Snap out of it.

I have given you every chance.

No, no, no, no! Buddy. Buddy. Calm down.

You with me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Breathe. Come on, get the car.

What the fuck was that? That was stupid, Five.

He's a cop. The fuckin' last thing I expected was to be sucker punched.

You push Smythe enough, he will put you in the hospital.

I've seen it before. It's not pretty.

Now get up here.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait. You shoulda told me he was a psycho.

I thought we had an understanding.

He fuckin' hit me.

Your lip. My what?

God, you're taking beatings.

That's not the half of it. I was...

Whoa, wait, wait, wait. Let me just, uh, let me just finish my thought, okay?

Okay. Go ahead.

Oh, God.

How's your leg? You all right?

I mean, no. I could have gangrene. It hurts.

It looks like it.

Wait, that I have gangrene?

I got your coffee. Hold up. Hold up.

Oh, I was just kidding. I don't even know what gangrene is.

Come in.

Should I be worried?

Perfect. Judy, thank you. I hope this isn't too hot, sir.

You thirsty? Yeah, sure.

Coffee time. Ah, hot!

Enjoy it. Ah. But thank you.

You're welcome.

All right. Let me ask you a question.

This, uh, key code, right, why did Denon need it?

So, this Skymaroe drive is encrypted and the key code card unlocks it.

And once Eddie got the bonds, he would give the key code card to Smythe and Wesson who would then exchange it for the Cherokee video with Denon.

Then everybody gets what they want.

Where'd you guys go after the beat down? Your beat down?

Hm. Oh, we went to the park to drop off Braverman with you.

Did you ever wonder why Smythe and Wesson, they didn't have me take you as well?

No, not really. No, not really?

No, I just... I mean, I didn't think...

No, save it. Smythe and Wesson told me.

They told me they had an errand to run. What was it?

Julie is not answering her phone.

Can you do me a favor? Can you, uh, swing by her house? I want to make sure she's okay.

No. Yes.

Forget about that. We gotta get the key code to Denon.

Her house is on the way, I need to know that she's okay.

Do me a favor. So, they went by Julie's?

What took you so long? Hey, baby.

Smythe. Why are you back here already?

Uh, well, you weren't answering your phone.

And we didn't know where to go.

I told you I would text you the address when they called.

Well, okay. And where are the bonds?

They're right here. I've got the bonds.

Who were you expecting?

Pat. He was just bringing over a new webcam.

Why are you here? You should be taking those to the blackmailers.

Right. Uh, well, we had a little, uh, conundrum.

Conundrum? Yeah.

You had a conundrum?

Baby, I'm gonna handle this. I can't work with this. I can't deal with this.


Can you give me a minute? Hey, eyes up.

What? Can you hurry up with your conundrum?

Five. What?

Take a look.

What? What are you looking at?

Look who's in the neighbor's backyard.

Oh, shit. That's Pat.

Mm-hm. Wait a minute. I was right.

He is with the blackmailers.

What? What?

Julie's behind this.

Oh, crap.

I hope Smythe isn't.

You really think he is?

Seven one million-dollar bonds. It's my only leverage.

I need to figure out where to hide these in case I walk into one of their traps.

Well, if you want to keep the bonds with you, you could hide them in your computer case.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Go get it.

You're not fucking with me? No. no.

You're not fucking with me?

No, just go get it. I'll show you.

Yeah, just bring it here. Okay?

Just hurry up. Julie and Smythe will be back any second.

All right. Don't fuck around.

I'm not. So just, look, check this out. We can put the bonds in here.

You're a genius, Five.

But if you put them in here, what are you gonna give to Eddie?

Good point. Let me hold onto one of them.

Okay. Perfect. Now all you have to do is worry about those Russians, right?

Oh, no, buddy. I got a plan for that.

They think they're gonna fuck around with Wesson?

What... What's your plan?

I'm gonna slip Vlad's book in here.

Wha... what's the deal with that book, anyway?

Oh, you don't want to know. All right.


I got some bad news for you. What?

I can't let you go.

Come on. You're the only witness to this whole debacle.

I'll tell you what. What?

I'm going to protect you, but you gotta trust me.

You're really giving me a choice?

No. Wesson? Wesson?


We gotta go. We're out of here. Eddie called. We're meeting at the warehouse. Let's go.

All right. Let's go. All right.

No, no, no. Not him. You leave him here.

All right. He can hang out with Julie. Go hang out.

Uh, you're right. You're coming with us. Let's go. But I'm driving.

You are not driving. No, no, no. I wanna drive.

Pothole, pothole.

I'm just saying. I got it.

That skull looks like his forehead. Look at that.

I see you still got the old ball and chain.

So funny.

You're telling me. Whoa, nice car.

You got something for me?

Braverman's a bit of a blabbermouth, know what I mean?

Yeah. You don't have to tell me.

So, we knew they were tracking Wesson's computer and then they gave it to you so they could sneak it into the warehouse undetected.

Well, you told me Wesson hid the bonds.

Yeah, he did. Along with the book?

Yeah, that's what I said.

And that Smythe thought that the bonds were in the envelope?

Uh, yeah. And so did Eddie and Bill and the Russians.

That's why it all went to shit at the warehouse.

Don't you understand?

Well, why don't you tell me what the fuck happened at that warehouse then?

Okay. We'd been waiting, and...

This is not good. I don't like this.

Last I checked, we're cops. This goes bad, we go to jail.

I want the bad guys to go to jail. Just relax.

They're gonna be late, we get a text. Nothing here. You?

No. Did Jake check in?

Jake is ready. The plan is gonna work out.

How can you be so nonchalant? Just relax.

Come on.

What do you do?

Me? I'm a video game designer, first-person shooters.

That's a job? Yeah.

You make money at that? Yeah. One could make very good money at that.

Well, until you get abducted and dragged into a blackmail conspiracy.

My boss gave me until the end of the day to come up with a new game concept or be fired?

So, thanks for that, guys. Appreciate it.


All right, look, I'm sorry.


Forget it. You're sorry? Really?

I, I bear the burden here, and, uh...

I want to apologize.

For real? I should've made Julie go to the FBI.

Instead, she... she talked me into this.

And you don't deserve any of this.

But I'll tell you what.

I, I give you my word as a gentleman.


I'm gonna get you... we're going to get you out of here.

All right, buddy? Buddy? Buddy. Let me get this straight.

So, with a gun to my head, you handcuffed me, kidnapped me and then beat the shit out of me, right?

You guys are cops.

You two idiots almost got me killed today, and you think, what, a little apology's gonna make it all better? I mean, come on, man.


Put your hands on your head.

Thank you.

You think we're stupid? We said meet in the big room. This is the small room, asshole.

Yeah. But this is a big room to you.

I never said that... fuck you! Come on.

All right. On your feet. All right.

Hey, watch it. I'm going. Let's go.

Would you please let me go?

We've all had days like this.

You know I have nothing to do with this.

I don't care. Let's go.

I wouldn't push me like that if I were you. Will you stop?

This is a big room. Yeah, it's the big room.

Not so big to you.

That's good. Right there, guys.

Come on. Why are you doing this to Julie?

This is not a therapy session, Smith.

We want the bonds, you want the key card. Let's get this over with.

Right. And it's Smythe, by the way. S.Y.

Smith, Smythe, what's the difference?

I guess there is no difference. Guys?

Ernie and Bert. They do look like it, huh?

A little bit. Smythe, okay? Let's do it.

Guys. Life in prison worth seven million dollars?


Well, why don't you ask Smith if life in jail's worth seven million? Or Smith...

Oh, shit. Shit! Ask Wesson why his computer's at the center of all of this.

Whoa. What does that fuckin' mean?

You fuckin' with me?

No. He's just trying to piss you off.

Smythe. Enough chitchat. Let's do the bonds.


Hey! Don't moving! Fucking Blue Boots?

What the fuck? Put down!

What the fuck are you doing here?

What the fuck? I follow girl here.

What the fuck, is he... hey, speak American.

I follow girl here. She... What girl?

Enough. Where is it?

He's got it.

Give me. Fuck you. We earned this. This is ours.

Fucking, you earned nothing. Smythe!

I need for Vlad. Give me now. The Russians are here! The Russians are here!

Oh, shit!

No, no, no, no, no! Five!

No, wait, guys! Guys! Oh, my God! Please!

Five, go up!

Go, Five, Five, come on! Okay, wait.

All right. Okay. Okay, what are we doing? Okay, okay.



Go, go, go, go. Come here, come here. Get in.

You guys, what are we gonna do? Listen. Wesson.

Shh! Okay.

And you thought your day couldn't get any worse.

Shh, shh, shh. Fuck you.

No, no, no, no, no.


Oh, my God.

Let's go, Five.

Okay. Okay.

Let's go. Let's go.


Come here. All right.

We're good. Clear. Come on.

Clear. Okay.

Let's go. Come on. All right.

Vlad, watch what you walk into. Go, Five.

Let's go, let's go.

Okay. Okay. Shh, shh, shh.

Get him, get him down.

Okay. Okay. Shh, shh, shh. Okay. I'm good. Recon.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

What's goin... What? I'm on you.

Go, go.

Wait, what's going on? Where you going? Smythe, what's happening? What's?

Five. What?

Are you having fun? Really?

Shit's about to get biblical, buddy.

It's not helping. I've never been shot at before, Smythe. I...


What? What? What?

Ah, fuck!

Shit. That's Wesson. Stay here.

No, no, no. Smythe! Smythe! Don't leave me!

Smythe! Oh, fuck. Fuck. Okay. Okay.

Oh, shit.


What the fuck was that?

Oh fuck. Okay. Okay.

Uh, all right.

You can do this. You can do this.

Fuck! Are you fucking cra... what the hell are you doing?

I'm sorry. I didn't know it w... Oh, fuck.

Is that a gun? Yep.

You, back up. Give me your gun, slowly now, slowly. Back up. Back up.

Get over there. You put your, your, uh, coffee thing down on the ground, now.

It's a carafe. Vlad book. Where is it, huh?

What? What'd you do with it?

What book? What book?

Ah! Where is it?

Ah! Where is it? What did you do with it?

You are not gonna slap me again.

Now, are you talking about the, the children's book that you're looking for?

The, the little, the one with the girly pictures and shit like that?

Is that the one? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

You're a funny guy. I know your type. Shoot first, ask questions later, huh?

Huh? Yeah. I'm that type, too.

Hands up. Right now.

Gun on safety. Thank you. I got it.

Wesson, you took my advice, huh? You used your head, yeah?

What took you so long? Yeah.

Smith and Wesson?

What'd he say? Uh, Smith and...


It's Smythe! Five, take the gun, buddy.

What? What? No. No.

Take the gun, buddy. Come on.

It's like one of your fucked up first-person shooter games, okay?

It's not. But when it's game over, it's game over. Take the fucking gun.

Let's go. Okay, fine. Fine.

No, no. Don't point it at me. You point it at me, I point it at you.

Stick it in your pants, and don't shoot your dick off. Here we go.


Whoa! Shit. Wait, wait, where's the safety? Where's the safety?


You shot him?

It was an accident.

He was reaching for my gun. You're kidding!

Wesson. You shot him.

I'm going after him. Five, Five are you ready?

Five, you're coming. Let's go, let's go. Five! Let's go!

Sorry, man.

Come on, Five!

Go, go, go, go! Okay, okay, okay.

Come on, Five.

Ah, I can't see anything. Where are we? Where are we going?

Follow me, Five, through here.

I can't see. Okay. Wesson.

Go! All right. All right.

Follow me, Five. Here we go!

Okay. Smythe. Don't leave, don't leave without me! Smythe! Smythe! Smythe!

Stay right behind me, Five, okay?

Shit! Take cover, Five! Take cover!

Easy, princess.

Oh, shit! Shit!

Now tell me where your friends are, huh?

I don't know what you're talking about...

Tell me where your friends are. No.

Don't ever do that again!

Obviously, they're not your friends.

They left you here to die.

That's not part of the contract. It'll cost, non-negotiable.

The good news is you won't hurt anyone on your way out.

Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Bye-bye.

Five, you all right? Yeah.

Come on. Let's move it.

This is not an invitation. Come on!

Okay. Go, go, go!

Shit! No! Ah!

How do you like it? Trouble. You're nothing but trouble.

Don't shoot! Where is book?

I don't know where your book is.

My leg feel like shit. I'll make your leg feel like shit.

Open the door. Open the door. Five, Five!

Shit! Shit!

That was intense. You shot?


Stop or I'll shoot.

Wait, wait.

You should've kept running, bitch!

Where the fuck is Five, Bill? Find Five. Just fuckin' shoot him.

Hey, oh. Guys. Guys. Guys!

Wesson. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait, don't go. Don't go!


Wait! Wait!

Guys! Guys! Wait! Wait!

Really? Oh, my God!

Oh, fuck!

Such is life. Oh, shit!

Leaning on my ride? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

I've shot men for less. Okay. Sorry.

I just don't see your role in this.

I don't have a role in this. That's the point.

No, listen. I... I'm gonna go home, all right? I'm not supposed to be here. No!

Hey, where are you going, buddy?

Hey, you have fun? I did.

I like this game.

We should play again, huh?

Ah, fuck.

Oh, you have knife wound, huh? My brother cut you good, huh? Where's my fuckin' book?

Bill and Eddie, they have your book. They're inside.

Get in the fucking car or you're dead.

I don't have your damn book, all right? The guys inside do.

Get in the fucking car or you're dead.

They shot your brother, Marek. All right? He's gonna die if you don't help him.

You're dead, my friend.

Oh, shit.

Shit. Oh, God, that was close.

Hey, look who's happy to see us.

You almost shot me! Let's go.

Let's go, let's go, let's go! We saved your ass twice, Five. Twice.

In the Middle East, that'd make you our wife.

Ow! Ow!

Oh, boy. You got stabbed. No blood on the seats.

Hands up! Hands up on the dash!

Are you kidding me? Seriously?

Are you kidding me? Where are the bonds?

Where are the bonds?

You can ask all you want. He's not gonna tell you. Shut up, Smith.

You shut up. It's Smythe.

You know what? What?

You're the cause of all this. You don't pick up things that don't belong to you.

No, no. Don't, don't do... Ahh!

While I was out, I had the weirdest dream.

That girl from the pool...


She was floating next to me, right?

We were together.

Hey, we're happy to see you, Five. We thought we lost you.

Try and run again, and I will tackle your shit and kill you.

Are you okay, baby?

Are you okay, baby?

Your life depends on me getting my fucking money.

She was trying to save me, but...

For some reason, I, I couldn't move.

Game on. I was paralyzed.

Come on, Five. You gotta wake up. Wake up, baby. Danger is coming.

She kept trying to warn me, but...

Come on, Five. I couldn't tell if she meant it.

You gotta wake up now. Come on.

Wake up, baby.

And then that is when I woke up here handcuffed in the police station, and then you walked in.

Detective? Have you been listening to me?

I need a minute.

What? What now?

Just sit tight, and stay there.

Like I can go anywhere. It's a police station.


What is all this shit? Annulment?



What the fuck? Hm.

Potassium nitrate?

What the fuck is this?

Ah, shit. Ah, you scared me.

What the hell you doing in here?

Oh, nothing. I'm just stretching my leg. What is that shit? That shit's weird.

I can't argue that. Have a seat.

Okay. And then we're done, right? I can go home now?

Kid, you're not going home for a long time.


Eddie and Bill just ratted you out.

They're cutting a deal with the DA as we speak, so you, my friend, are shit out of luck.

What the fuck? You... you promised to help me. Smythe and Wesson know I didn't do it.

Those two crooked fucks, they couldn't help you right now if they wanted to.

I knew you were investigating them.

Come on, you know I'm innocent, and I had nothing to do with this.

This is so stupid. Stupid?

Is that what you're saying? You're calling me stupid?

No. I didn't say that.

What about your Occam's Razor?

Occam's Razor, that's a bullshit theory. But I'll tell you what.

Humor me. Humor me.

What's the simplest explanation for what's going on?

Okay. Either I'm a master criminal without a record who planned an elaborate blackmail or I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Really, what makes the most sense to you?

DA wants to cut a deal, but they need me to back it, so I need to know.

Did you hold anything back from me?

No. I told you everything I know.

I didn't hold anything back. Wh... what are you looking for?

You recognize this?

How did you get Vlad's book?

That's right. It's Vlad's book. You know what's inside this book?

No idea, but I told you that. You sure?


I'm sure.


DA needs the bonds, because they can't make a case without them.

Great. Give them the bonds.

But you remember I told you, they're inside the case of Wesson's computer.

You know, the one that they gave you.

Wesson's laptop?

Yeah, you... you have them.

They're in the computer he gave me.

Yeah. It was my idea to hide them there.

You just made me a fuckin' hero, kid.

Yeah? Great.

Are you sure?

I bet my life on it.


Because you just may have to do that, bet your life on it.

Wait. Wait. What do you mean?

Seriously, what... what does that mean?

Oh, you'll find out.

Okay. Stand up.

Okay. Get up.


Mr. Five.


So, you ready to go face the music?

I guess. Come on.

Wait, what do you mean? You'll find out.

Okay. All right.

Wait, why is it so dark in here?

You should turn the lights on in this place.

Shh. No more talking.

Okay. No more talking. Why?

Come on, keep up.

All right. Not a word.

My leg hurts. Not a fucking word.

All right. Here we go.

Wait a second. Hey.

Is this the warehouse? Hey!

What? Come on.

Are we still here? Jake.

Jake. Have a seat.

Huh? Is that Smythe?

We... Wesson.

Braverman? What?

I said sit down. Okay, okay.

Finally. I can take this off.


That took long. What's going on?

It wasn't exactly a perfect plan, just a plan. Where's Bill and Eddie?

They just got back from tossing the house, but man, they're pissed they didn't find the bonds.

Five, we're dead if you told him where the bonds are.

Oh, my God. You're lucky you're not dead yet, fucker.

You guys will not fucking believe this.

They put the bonds in the bottom of the computer case.

Oh, my God.

Look at this. Look...

Very good, gentlemen.

Mnemonic. I'll drink to that.

That's what I'm saying. Mnemonic. Mnemonic.

Here's to seven million. Enjoy that drink. It just might be your last.

I don't think so. Wesson's computer ties this to the two of you.

Oh, Wesson. Thanks for getting me Vlad's book.

Why... Why is he thanking you?

He thought his name was in it. We suspected you, asshole.

Bullshit! You guys have been fucking clueless the whole time.

Internal Affairs, yeah, they've been investigating me, dumbass. It was my name in the book.

That's why I'm thanking you for bringing it to me.

And now IA's going to think that you two were dirty.

How do you like them apples?

A toast to the two of you.

I couldn't have done it without you.


DFI? What the fuck is that?

You two used the same term.

That's not enough for you guys to figure anything out.

Jake, what are you doing?

We don't need to answer frick and frack's questions.

Wait, why didn't you ask me where the bonds were?

I just needed to tie up loose ends, that's all.

Make sure that Smythe and Wesson didn't tip anybody off.

We were just glad that you didn't figure it out until the end.

Who says we didn't figure it out until the end?

You're tied to a chair, dumbass. We've got the cash.

Actually, it was Smythe's idea. Pat. You're the one that hacked into Wesson's computer.


Which makes you pretty much vulnerable, but you would've had to have known that to place a backtrack tracer, which you didn't.

Dude, the game has changed. You're getting too old for this.

We brought the FBI and Denon into the party.

As soon as you typed in the new source code, alarm bells.

What? They've been listening to everything.

No, no, no. It's a bluff.

Serious? Eddie, make sure they're dead.

Fuck that, Julie. We're done. We're gone.

I'm probably stating the obvious here, but I just want you to know, Julie, we're done.

Okay? Our relationship is over.

Oh, Smythe. We have to kill them. Pat?

Uh, I'm not a pussy, but I ain't shootin' anyone.

Mnemonic! Mnemonic!

You guys are so fuckin' stupid. Mnemonic is the go word for the FBI who have surrounded the building.

Congratulations, everybody. Shut up.

Okay. And you.


You have fucked this up from the very beginning.

All I did was grab a fucking toy!

I didn't do anything. Take it easy! Wait!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, shit! What are you doing?

Jesus fucking Christ!

Will everyone just relax a minute?

I need a second to think. Give me a minute. Let me fucking think about this.

Smythe. God damn it, Julie.

I'm Special Agent Shea with the FBI. The building is surrounded.

Place all your weapons on the ground and take four steps back.

We are entering the building.

They're bluffing.

Everybody on the ground.

Show me your hands. Put your hands up right now. Secure the area.

Uh, they ran that way. They ran that way.

Okay agents, round them all up over here.

Without fail. It's always the cocky ones who think they're gonna get away with it.

You can't prove shit. It was his computer that hacked in.

Agent Daniels. Bring out the tech advisor.

Let's go. You're on.

Is it safe this time?

The area is secure.

Remember what happened in Colorado? That wasn't any fun for me.

You gotta be kidding. It would be amazing if these devices even worked.

Who the fuck's this guy? He acts like he's Kevin Mitnick.

That is Kevin Mitnick. Kevin I'm your biggest fan. I've read everything you ever written...

Braverman, shut up. Shut up or I'm going to have them shut you up.

Dude, I'm sorry. Agent Shea, I found it.

Fantastic. Now you have enough evidence to prosecute them, but I'm going to shut the laptop to preserve the evidence.

Thanks, Mitnick.

And we gotta go, because I'm gonna be late for my speaking gig.

Could you really whistle the codes?

Could you really whistle the codes? Jesus, boy. Settle down.

Dude, you're a nut job.

Pat, you're such a putz.

With seven million dollars in our hands...

I'm a putz? You dreamed up this hair-brained scheme.

Huh! Both of you shut up.

Good news.

You two will be reinstated if you don't fuck up again.

Seven million buys a lot of cache around here.

What about me?

Braverman, your days as a black hat are over. I hope you like lifting weights and gray walls.

I hate gray. It makes me so sad, and I, I can't stand physical labor.

Then I suggest you change the color of your hat to white.

Bureau's got a job for you, but you gotta go legit.

Really? Ooh.

Does it have dental? Because I have this this gum thing.

Dude, you're a nut job. Send a postcard, huh?

It gets a little bloody, and, uh... Get in the car.

Take it easy. I'm saving that for marriage.

Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure.

Thank you.

Good job.

Uh, whoa. Uh, guys? Guys? Hello? Forget something?

Oh. Sorry, dude.

You all right? Five?

Are you okay?

Oh, that was amazing.

There's that smile.

Congratulations. Thanks.

Yeah. For what?

We made it to the next level. We did?


Let's go kick some ass.