Hey, you! Wait up!
I'm coming! What's wrong?
You had no slip, so I gave you a ticket.
Come on, man! A ticket forjust 5 minutes?
No, it's been 42 minutes, and 10 is the limit.
So you get a ticket.
Do you get paid to fuck other people up?
No sir, to monitor parking.
You've been 42 minutes without the slip.
Yeah, yeah, you already said that.
I was trying to explain in case you had any doubt.
I see they always hire the brightest guys for the job.
But I've got one too, and I'm running late.
Triple! Oh Ia la, Edwin Jackson!
She didn't show up today either? No.
Maybe she's sick. I don't give a fuck. Get off.
Draw a foul, man!
You're making a mistake.
We're looking for the extra pass!
This is no way to win.
Play it long!
We're going to play long possession.
Ending in 2 on 2 with direct blocking for Jackson.
But he's playing like shit!
If we don't score, we hold it.
First, this attack. We push to the shot limit.
We play longwise.
And we end up with a pick and roll for Jackson.
Good. If we don't score, we defend.
And shift in every blocking.
But how can we defend? We'll have to make a foul, Paco.
Are we the only jerks here to try and defend this? Fuck!
Sabané, Wilson and Grimau.
To Jackson. It's clear, right?
Let's go, go, go! One, two, three, Estu!
He doesn't listen. He thinks he's God.
We're in deep shit, wait and see.
Get to the locker room. What?
Go to the locker room.
You just turned referee or something?
No, I'm first coach and you're second.
Like it or not, I'm in charge of this team.
You don't care shit about the team, Paco.
Get off the court. You don't know shit, man.
Get out! What the fuck!
CHAMPIONS Today, pro basketball has shown us a regrettable picture.
During the Movistar Estudiantes and Tenerife Iberostar match played this evening, the well-known coach Francisco Carrascosa was fiercely pushed by Marco Monte, second coach.
Montes. The name is Marco Montes, shit.
And this is Barcelona's Apollo night club, hosting a single gig by Mermelada, the '80s old rhythm and blues band, meeting again to celebrate...
Shit! Holy shit.
What the fuck? No way, no way.
Why did you stop there?
Didn't you see me coming?
Marco Montes. Out.
It's about time. I'm late for work.
You bet you are, you're going to court first.
Aren't you putting your shoes on?
No. What trial are you talking about?
We'll have a quick one.
If you don't mess it up again, we may be lucky.
But I'd wear the tie.
What do you mean? Who are you?
Your lawyer. Glad to meet you too.
Aren't you coming in? No.
I'll take the stairs, if you don't mind.
Driving with a blood alcohol content three times over the limit, damages to a police vehicle, injuring, pending assessment, the officers.
Resisting arrest. No.
I never resisted anybody.
I just asked for this officer's badge number.
Keep quiet, please. -l'm telling the truth.
Shall I add contempt of court to this already heavy list?
Nothing else, Your Honour.
I beg your pardon, she's asking me.
Plus verbal abuse against said officers.
Besides paying the damages, and two years without a licence...
It's good enough. Could be worse.
Worse than two years? Listen.
I think the sentence is excessive for driving with just a couple of drinks.
The sentence is yet to come, Mr Monte.
The defendant is facing a prison term of no less than 18 months.
This sentence may be commuted for community services in a place and for a period this court will soon let you know.
I told you we'd be lucky. What do you mean, lucky?
When will I do that job? I already have a job.
I'm awfully sorry, Montes. You leave me no choice.
Look, Mr Chairman, about what happened, I understand it's nothing to be proud of.
But everything I do is for the team.
You shoved him against the bench for the team?
I didn't shove him, he lost his balance, that's all.
You tell him, Paco.
Paco, please, tell him.
-I've been warning you. About what?
You're the best second I've ever had.
Why the fuck are we here, then? I don't know your personal problems.
Right now you're unfit for the team.
Don't fuck me up.
No, you brought it upon yourself.
-I'll be downstairs. The decision has been made.
You no longer belong to this club.
"The Friends Association."
You'll be working for people with intellectual disability.
What the fuck is that? Language, Mr Montes!
Pardon me, Mrs Judge... -lt's Your Honour.
Pardon me, Your Honour, but I don't get what you mean.
You're talking about retards?
Your Honour said "language". I didn't say "fuck" now.
No, it's worse. It's offensive.
For saying "retards"?
Years ago we had Retards Day.
Mongoloids asked for change.
I gave them money. To the mongoloids and the retards.
Therefore you'll work for them the next 90 days.
But that's three months. Congratulations.
What for? Because I see you can count.
You mean writers in wheelchairs?
Not disabled intellectuals, Mom, intellectually disabled people.
You mean retards? So, you're joining in with retards now.
Walter, a glass of wine, please. Right away, Mrs Amparo.
Now they're called disabled because "retards" is offensive.
We always had Retards Day and it was okay.
Like Cancer or AIDS days. Well, you can't say that anymore.
No. Not for the boy.
-It's like the gay thing. What about them?
Now you call them gay.
And how did we use to call them?
Now, who taught you that language here?
Not me, I'm sure.
Why don't you answer? It's Sonia. Just because.
Well, let me do it then, maybe something's up at the store.
Please, forget the store. I don't want to talk to her, that's all.
You're really messing up everybody's life.
Me? Messing up?
You don't know how hard it is for me.
I'd give everything to see you two make up.
Mom, don't worry about me.
No, I'm worried about myself. I'd like you to go home.
You're invading my space.
They were in such a hurry, and they haven't even picked it up.
They say the police always comes when you call them.
15 days with these outfits and nobody's shown up.
Like I always say, haste gets you nowhere.
I get antsy when they hassle me.
A man needs quiet. Now, where do I stash all this?
I'm putting this here, but let me tell you, it's the last time for me.
No, and I'm saying no.
Well, well, well.
It's a great honour that a professional like you should be interested in working with our team.
-"Interested" isn't quite the word. Neither is "team".
We have an indoor soccer branch playing several tournaments.
I see. Very impressive.
We'd like to take advantage of you being here a few months to make you our coach.
Yeah, well. You see, I don't know about indoor soccer.
-L'm a basketball coach. Precisely what we need.
A basketball coach.
You have a basketball branch? Sure.
But our coach left.
How many days per week should I work?
That depends on you.
Excellent. Then one day should be enough.
Only one day? One day is perfect.
Say, one hour. Not to overload them too much.
Well, coming here does a lot of good to the boys, you know.
For them, sport isn't the main thing.
It's more a way of normalising the situation.
The more they're training here, the more they socialise, the happier they are.
Don't worry, I'll make them socialise big time in that hour.
Are all these indoor soccer trophies?
Most are table tennis. Some ballroom dance trophies too.
Vicky's nephew won some of them.
Your friend Victoria. My friend Victoria?
She said that, when you knew we needed a coach you volunteered to help us.
Victoria? It doesn't ring a bell.
Sure, Victoria, the judge.
Oh. Yes. Sure. Victoria.
Her nephew's been more than 10 years with us.
Her nephew is here? Yes.
What's wrong with him? Down syndrome.
No! He has some speech impediment.
But he understands perfectly well.
Jolly good boy. He's very excited about you.
We all are.
This is your sports hall?
Not ours, it's the town's. First class.
Apart from the premises, they give us 1000 euros.
We were really lucky.
You bet. One grand per month. Are you nuts? It's per year.
When shall I tell the boys we're starting?
Next Monday will be great. They'll have the rest of the week for...
I said, for what?
Whatever they do.
Yeah, Vicky, how are you?
Yes, he is here, with me.
Yes, a very nice lad.
He's starting on Monday.
Yes, only on Mondays.
And just one hour. The best thing to do, he says.
Hold on, I'll put him on. No.
Just a minute, he's waving his hands.
Your Honour! Inside joke. Sure.
Yes, I'm listening.
No, I was just telling...
Sure, of course, it's too little.
Way too little.
Yeah, I know.
In that case... Sure. No problem.
Right. Bye. Yes, I'll put him on.
Oh, yes? That's great.
That's really great, just fine.
All right, Vicky, see you, sweetheart.
Great, isn't it? -Indeed.
So then, Tuesdays and Thursdays, two hours each day.
Great. They will be so happy.
You can't imagine how happy they'll be.
-It's better this way. Sure.
Then the Saturday game, so you won't get bored.
Quite so, quite so. Vicky told me. Great.
Don't sweat it. Nobody will know you're here doing time.
And you're just going to love the kids.
My name is Marco Montes.
I'll be your coach for the next three months.
We'll start with something very simple.
You pair up and make two lanes.
We start with a series of passes, fakes and shots.
Then we'll change positions. Understood?
Okay, let's see how you move.
Everybody pick a partner.
I have a girlfriend. Liar! You don't.
Yes I do. I have two.
No, you don't. She just changes her hairstyle.
They're different. No, she's the same.
Just pick a partner. But I already have one.
She's a whore. Hey, you!
She's a whore. Okay, she's a whore.
But she's my girlfriend. Can't a whore have a boyfriend?
She can, but if I paid her, she'd be my girlfriend.
Well, pay her. Yeah, right.
-L'm not paying your bitch any. I play small forward.
I'm centre, I got that down.
Well, all right.
Step by step. You two with the girlfriend, get over here.
Grab a ball.
You, in red, grab a ball. Coming!
No, no! Not you. I'm talking to them.
You just wait. Get a ball.
What's wrong? Just an absence.
He lost it.
What do you mean? He's benumbed.
We have to wait.
What for? For him to come back.
Where from? From the seizure.
Well, er... take the ball.
You run to the basket, passing...
Where are you going?
Where are you going? Didn't you say to play ball?
No, I said...
What's your name? Jesús Lago Solis.
But all my friends call me Jesús because it's shorter.
Okay, Jesús. Jesús Iago Solis.
Okay, I get it, Jesús.
And what's your name? My name is Marco, Jesús.
Hey, like me. Jesús. No, just Marco.
In fact my name is Jesús Lagos Solis.
Right. Perfect. My name is Marco.
Didn't you say your name was Jesús too?
No, I was talking to you, Jesús.
Jesús Iago Solis, actually.
Well, my name is Marco! All right?
Now, we're... -l'm Sergio.
That's swell. Jesús and Sergio, this is what we're going to do.
You get paired up... I already am.
I know that! Just forget her for a little while, okay?
How could I? It wouldn't be nice.
You'll play with her later. Play with us now.
I don't play with her. We just fuck.
I told you. ls she a whore or what?
I go to her place, we have a few drinks and do all sorts of stuff.
All right. Very good. Jesús and Sergio...
Sergio Costa is my name. She's trampy. Be honest.
Jesús and Sergio Costa. Zorrilla.
Forget your girl, okay? No, that's my family name.
Sergio Costa Zorrilla.
Okay, I'm sorry. Jesús and...
Jesús Iago Solis. Jesús Iago Solis!
And Sergio Costa Zorrilla! You get paired up...
Look at him.
What's up with your shoes? They match the headguard.
Next time bring sport shoes.
You don't need the guard either.
Well, I don't know.
I'm so excited, coach! Hug me!
You're a good man. You're doing great.
Yeah, but he is too short for basketball.
Very short. He's not.
He just hasn't shot up yet.
So he's a dwarf.
It'll be over before you know it.
I mean, making a team out of these people. No way.
It's not impossible. Difficult but not impossible.
They don't even know to pass the ball.
You' re the coach. Teach them. That's your 'yob.
Pardon me. My job is to train normal players.
These are not players. And they're not normal.
Who's normal, Marco? You and me, are we normal?
You don't have to turn them into the Lakers.
They don't even have to play well.
Just help them feel like a team.
Coaches come and go.
But this is their life. It can't be that bad.
The last one left a month ago.
We had just registered for the regional league.
Too bad. You could even win. Maybe not.
But they were terribly excited. Can you imagine how they felt when I told them we were out for lack of a trainer?
I can't promise anything. I don't ask for guarantees.
Just don't throw in the towel. They won't.
How can I teach them to score? They can't even run.
Well, that's a starting point.
Say, I was thinking, what's going on with your wife?
We're not in a sweet spot. We haven't spoken in days.
It's better this way. I don't want her to know.
But did you split or what?
Fuck, what a shame. She's so hot.
She cheated on you, did she?
What are you talking about?
Then you were the cheater? Fuck!
No, it's nothing like that.
I don't get it, then. What's the trouble?
She just wants this and I want that.
Perhaps she deserves a better man than me.
Yeah, well, she's really super-hot.
Hey, pardon me, but you're talking about my wife, you know?
Just trying to cheer you up, Montes. More than that. Live it up.
How? Loosening up.
My brother-in-law had a quick trial too.
He got the Greenpeace boat full of Norwegian volunteer girls.
The pictures are unbelievable.
You follow me. In a straight line. No drifting away.
All right? Let's start slow and then peel rubber.
Peel what? I mean, run faster.
Now, you follow the line.
What Paquito means is whether we follow a straight line or should we change direction?
I mean if we should turn left, or...
Yeah, yeah, right. Let's go.
We breathe through the nose, filling our lungs.
We slowly release our breath through the mouth.
One, two. One, two.
One, two. One, two.
One, two. One, two.
One, two. One, two.
Where are your mates?
You're the judge's nephew, right?
Mrs Judge, could we talk? I have no time for you.
I can't go on training these... people.
You'd rather go to prison? No,no!
-I'll get it started. -'Course not!
How about a fine? You name the amount.
I already did. Ninety days.
Your Honour, I beg your pardon.
Isn't there anything else I can do?
Sure there is. But this is what you have to do.
Now please, I'm very busy.
Some coincidence I was sent to the association where your nephew is!
I mean it's obviously a coincidence.
You wouldn't take advantage of the situation. Would you?
Yes. It's a coincidence. I'm not in charge of the assignments.
I see. -l'd have sent you to the quadriplegic ward in Toledo.
You'd find loads of people in wheelchairs due to other people driving with just two drinks.
Yes, hello? Marco?
What's up? Marco.
Great news! We're selected!
- What? Where, Julio? For the National Series.
And as we have a coach, and precisely you, they let us sign up. We're in!
Julio, it's 6:30 a.m.
Do you think it's news time?
Yeah, sorry I didn't call earlier, you could have been sleeping, you know.
The National Series, Marco! Countrywide!
- Terrific, right? Sure. Terribly terrific.
I'm telling you I'm taking the holiday off.
I don't care who thinks it's wrong.
And if, on the holiday, my days off, I want to go to my hometown, I'll go.
If I want to stay here, I'll stay here.
Maybe I want to stay. I'll decide what to do those days.
What a surprise! How are you doing?
When Marco told me about you two, I couldn't believe it.
I can't remember who you are.
Iván Bajero. Marco's mate. We've seen each other a thousand times.
From the team, Estu.
How are you? Great, doing great.
I didn't recognise you without the tracksuit.
Although now we're ex-teammates, like you two.
You're no longer at the club. I am.
But Marco isn't.
He didn't tell you? It's been some days now.
I know, he told me you two weren't doing great.
He hasn't told you about the retards then.
Sorry? Yeah, the sentence for driving, you know...
Fuck me! And they took away his licence.
He must have told you, right? Sorry for the bad news.
But he's doing okay. Maybe I can help you out, Sonia.
Would you like to go out for a drink sometime, and let off steam?
Do you know where he is?
Do you see him, Julián? -lván.
It's lván. I'll give you my card.
We're meeting next Saturday.
Where? At Kiss.
Don't tell him I'll be there. I won't.
SATURDAY'S PLAN CANCELLED SEE YOU ANOTHER DAY
MARCO MONTES - FROM ESTUDIANTES TO DISABLED PLAYERS
Well, it looks like you're playing a tournament.
And to compete means to win.
And I like to win. Always.
In order to win, you'll have to give me everything you've got.
I can't give you my Play. I haven't finished FIFA yet.
What play? The PlayStation.
No, you keep it, Jesús. All right.
Got it, you guys?
Let's play some tactics. Starting where we left off.
In couples, two lanes, bank shots.
Come on, guys, get paired up.
Okay, Juanma and Benito, right?
What about us?
Yeah, relax. We'll watch these two first and then we all do it.
What are you doing? Stretching.
I'm warming up.
Should we do the same? No, no, wait.
We already warmed up. Let's repeat what we did last day.
Juanma, come here.
With the ball, man.
Run forward, bounce it twice and pass it to Benito.
He'll do the same. Coach! A hug!
No, don't hug me. Later. All right.
Like that? No, not really. But it's okay.
Now, take a ball each and train.
You with me, Manuel.
What are you doing? A bank shot.
You really think you can score? Can't I?
Good shot, bro!
You're the only one who seems able to play here.
And I know you're the brightest by a long shot.
Which is not so hard, actually.
The thing is... we'll never win a damn game with this team.
But I don't want to look stupid.
That's why I need you to play with us.
Coach, I have a problem.
Welcome to my world, Marin. Thank you very much.
What's wrong with you? With me?
I have 39 per cent disability due to complications during childbirth.
So? Can't you play? Yes, I can.
Well, then? Since you asked
-what was wrong. No,no,no.
You told me you had a problem, so I asked you.
Right. I went to the doctor yesterday.
He said I have a slight spinal deviation.
So you can't play? I can.
It's very slight. In fact he advised me to play.
I'll have to attend a massage therapist for some days.
And it overlaps with training hours? No.
I'll go in the mornings.
So, what is the problem? So what is what?
What is the problem, Marin? What is it?
Well, these are new shoes.
They hurt a lot.
Change them. I didn't keep the receipt.
No, I mean switch between feet.
I can't do it if I'm standing. Sit down, please, and do it.
Wow, fuck! That's a lot better!
So much better!
I'm a bit dyslexic, you know.
Don't think I'm dumb.
No, I never said that.
I know you said I was the brightest when I gave you the ticket.
But some call me a dumbass because they don't know me.
What are you doing? Checking if you've been drinking.
Mom, I have enough problems as it is.
Have you won any games yet?
We haven't played yet. Well, you will.
Do you think I care if they win or not?
You should, it's your team.
Remember that coach that said you couldn't be a pro because you weren't tall enough?
He had no idea. Oh yes. Yes, he had.
He had no idea.
I remember I went to see him and smacked him in the face.
You did What?
No wonder they sacked me.
No, they sacked you because you're short.
And he couldn't see how gifted you are.
How do you know? You never came. You never saw me playing.
The world is full of short people with huge achievements.
Without their mothers watching.
Oh, yeah? Like who? Julius Caesar, for one.
Julius Caesar was small?
We don't know. Who do we know about then?
Marco, you'd better sleep it off.
And don't puke on the sheets. You don't have a plastic sheet any longer.
If you keep cheering me up like this, I'd better go to a hotel.
Son, don't say that.
Don't get my hopes up.
Bend your knees. Rump out.
Good, Fabién. That's perfect.
Marin, I said the right hand.
I have tendinitis.
All right. Use your left.
-L'm just saying. Go ahead.
Good, Benito, very good.
Switch hands as you walk.
Then we'll get on to the passes, okay?
And how do you do that?
You throw it to me and I throw it to you.
Easy, right? Hey!
Why did you throw the ball at me?
A hug! Okay, back in place.
Maybe he broke your nose. I don't think so, Marin.
I broke mine three times and I have sinusitis.
Oh, dear. And asthma.
Is there something you don't have? Fibromyalgia, I think.
But sometimes I have migraines and see light flashes.
He's a hypochondriac.
They prescribed me that too, hypochondriac.
Anybody seen Romén?
He quit the team. What do you mean he quit?
Only he knew how to play.
Come on, they all play. See you on Thursday.
No, they don't. They can't even bounce the ball once without travelling or doing things I've never seen but are illegal anyway.
Take this kid. His lack of coordination is supreme.
He can't walk four steps with the ball under control. He'll never...
What's this moron up to?
Sorry, but he could kill himself. Or worse, kill someone.
He's never had an accident. Have you? Me?
All right. But that nutcase...
That nutcase, as you call him, lives on his own.
He has no family.
He wakes up at 4:00 and goes to work in a kitchen.
Fabién isn't as self-reliant.
He lives in a monitored home with three roommates.
Every morning he goes to a gardening workshop where he's got the idea of speaking with the plants.
Don't think he's nice to them, though.
He scolds them.
I want you to keep quiet!
Or else! And you, shut up, you devil!
Look howl bounce it. Good, huh?
Jesús works at a vocational centre where he disassembles and reassembles engines.
He's so good a mechanic trainees go there just to watch him work.
He calls them followers.
He's fond of music, too.
He plays with his band on Sundays.
They all have a story.
Some got stuck in their childhood.
Others didn't mature in their mothers' wombs.
Or suffered during childbirth.
Excuse me. Yes?
This dye is leaking.
Look, since I can't pay you overtime, you keep it.
So you get something out of it. All right.
That's why he dyes his hair.
Hey. What's up.
Hey, beautiful! Beautiful doggie!
-It's a she. Beautiful!
Juanma works at a cats and dogs home. He loves animals.
And they let him live there.
That's why he stinks. No, he almost drowned when he was a boy and now he hates water. He hardly washes up.
Well, I'd pull him by the ears under the shower.
It doesn't work like that. He has to do it of his own will.
His problem is fear, not the stink.
Good evening, Julio. Good evening.
Good evening, coach.
Thank you for everything. Thank you, Marin.
Dear me, this is very worrying.
The 19:45 flight Madrid-Rome is late.
I can't figure it out. There's chaos in the air.
And this looks normal to you, right?
Some people stay days on end behind a bush watching birds.
They call them ornithologists, not fools.
Say, Julio, what about Romén?
Romén is another story.
"Ask me for anything except the camper van.
No. I'm not lending you the van."
And she didn't like it. But my camper van is spotless.
It sleeps in a garage. I feed it 98 octane gas.
It's a bit more expensive, but it's good for the engine.
No, I'm not lending her the camper. Or anybody.
But why not? She's your sister.
Why? She'd grate the gears and spoil the engine.
My camper is like a collector's item.
It's just a piece of junk on four wheels.
Look here. I could say you're a piece of meat on two limbs.
Even though it's true, I guess you wouldn't like it.
Would you lend it to me, Antonio?
I would, yes. Because I know you'll never ask.
Okay, boys, listen up.
Saturday we play our first official game.
And we play at home. Whose home?
Not mine. We don't fit, it's too small.
No, I mean in our sports hall.
Before the game, I'll tell you the starting line-up.
But relax, you will all play.
But only five can play, coach.
I know, but we'll rotate during the game.
One of the players will pull out and be replaced.
What about the others?
What do you mean?
If one comes in and one comes out, only six will play.
You will all play. But only five can play.
We'll attend to that on Saturday, okay?
I don't know if I can play anyway, coach.
I have an unexpected pain in the neck. I think I have spasms.
Don't worry, you won't have them on Saturday.
But what if I do? We'll think of something, Marin.
I know, but the situation makes me anxious.
And Romén isn't with us anymore. Don't remind me.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Julio told me you received two outfits.
One blue, one red.
Next Saturday, you'll bring the blue one, okay?
But red is kind of cooler than blue.
Yes, but the other team will wear red.
Our home kit is blue. So, on Saturday, all in blue.
What if my girl comes to watch?
She's a bitch, what does she care? Okay, but she likes red.
She'll probably say, "My Sergio is so cute in blue."
My girlfriend is not that corny. She's more in the filthy business.
We'd better all dress the same.
Because red is real cool.
What? ls your girl coming too?
No, my mother. She won't make me out in blue.
Oh, yes, your mother will. Don't worry.
Are your parents coming? Right! Tell them to.
In blue. Saturday everybody in blue.
Hey, man. Howdy.
Didn't I tell you all to wear blue?
Blue! You said red, coach.
No. No, he said blue.
So why the fuck are you in red too?
It suits me better and you know it. I can read your mind.
I'm colour-blind, so I don't know what I'm wearing.
Besides, blue T-shirts are for faggots.
That's not a T-shirt, it's a polo shirt.
That's worse. Little polos are for double faggots.
Okay, let's see. First to play will be Manuel, Fabién, Paquito... Yeah!
Me, me, me!
But where's Benito?
He couldn't make it, he's got to work.
He said he'd asked his boss.
His boss is an asshole, he laughs at him. Benito told me so.
Okay, let's focus. Manuel.
-L'm reading a book. How do you like it?
Fine. But I liked the movie better. Great.
And Juanma. Yeah!
Hand your shirt over to Sergio.
I'm not wearing his shirt for the world.
Then you don't play. It's up to you. Blue.
And Jesús. Yes!
And in red. So my mother will recognise me.
Who told you to wear that rag? You look ridiculous!
It's me, Mommy.
Throw the ball. That's it! Great!
We play and pass. We pass and move.
Boys, keep the timing in cut and block.
Paquito, we don't force the shot.
We look for the extra pass. Come on!
What is he talking about? Beats me. Basketball stuff, I'd say.
Come on, boys, always press the player with the ball.
Don't let him think!
Fabién, pick and roll for Sergio.
Rock'n'roll what? Pick and roll!
It's not that hard.
Next day, whoever hasn't the right outfit does not play. Understood?
Perfectly. When you speak clearly, I catch everything.
Now, you get ready to play.
Me? Oh, well, thank you so much.
You, Niki Lauda, you scrubbing that pot for ever?
You don't have to make it shine, just wipe off the shit.
You never catch a thing.
Afterwards, dump the trash and mop the floor. And don't gawk at me.
You said I could go to the game.
Stop busting my ass with this basketball shit, all right?
I give you work, and you're nothing but a shirker.
Move your asses, you fuckers!
Or else, scram! I got lots of people wanting your job!
What are you doing here?
I should be asking that question, lván. You said you couldn't come.
Well, in the end I could.
Yeah, I can see that.
And why are you here?
Hell, I came for a drink. Can't I?
You can, of course you can.
Why are you so dressed up?
Just my luck. Of all the bars...
I'd better let you two discuss matters.
Hi, Marco. Hi, Sonia. How come you're here?
I came to see you. How did you know I was here?
Your friend told me. The one that just left.
Why don't you answer my calls?
What calls? I didn't see any.
I was worried. I thought your accident was serious.
No, it was nothing, really. Nothing?
Iván said you got fired from the club, stood trial, and were convicted to train some disabled people.
What will it be?
Gin and tonic for me. Why do you hide, Marco?
I don't. I just didn't feel like talking and I still don't.
How can we solve our problems then?
What problems, Sonia?
You tell me. You're the one who left.
-L'd sooner leave than be kicked out. What?
I'd rather leave before you wanted me out.
Why do you say that?
I like you.
I'd love to have a baby with your eyes.
You're here to bring up the subject, aren't you?
Hey, can I have my gin and tonic?
You're always on the run.
You always run away. What?
Like a child. You're like Peter Pan.
You're a shrink now, or what?
No need to be one to see you're going nowhere.
Hear Penélope Cruz talking. Big time actress ends up working at her mother-in-law's store.
It wasn't a good idea to come. No, it wasn't.
Listen, boys. Draw a circle around me.
When I say a name, the guy with the ball will pass it to the guy I mentioned, okay?
And when I'll say "bank shot", the man with the ball shoots.
We have to wait?
No. I was looking at the bird that just flew in.
I love birds.
Me too, I eat a lot of chicken.
Fabién, come on. Go, Jesús. Sergio. Marin.
Manuel. Fabién. Very good.
Benito. Paquito, Paquito. Jesús.
Watch out, man! Come on, Sergio.
Careful, there. Marin. Juanma.
That's it. Bank shot!
Give me a hug, coach. No.
First the shower, then the hugs. Come on, shower, everybody!
You told him we have a game in Cuenca?
I did. What did he say?
-not to bust his balls. Nice.
Shower. I don't believe in showers.
What does that mean?
He doesn't. I think...
I think he'll say yes, because I'd like it very much. But I have...
I have this doubt. What doubt?
Take it easy. It'll be all right.
Any other doubt, you ask me.
Hey, hey, hey, a rat!
It's a little mouse.
Save it, coach! Save it, save it!
Keep cool. Let's see.
Where is it? Gone down the drain.
Then he's drowning, for sure.
Yes, it's too narrow, he doesn't fit.
Save him, coach, save him!
Juanma... you save him.
You're good with animals. You're the man for the job, Juanma.
The mouse needs you or he'll drown, Juanma.
The mouse needs someone like you, Juanma.
Someone answering his call for help. He's yelling your name.
Juanma! Juanma! Juanma!
Only you can do it, Juanma.
Come on, he's drowning, come on.
That's it guys, that's it, team work.
Coordination. Helping one another.
Get Juanma off the key. Come on, go, go.
Where is he? You find him, Juanma.
Where is the mouse? Find him. I can't.
Look for him. Come out, cutie, come out!
Come out, sweetie! I can't see him. Get up, Juanma.
The mouse is hiding. He wants us to be clean.
He wants us to be clean.
Careful not to get fungi.
Go, go, go, go!
Come on, Juanma. Use the soap.
See that guys? That's how you overcome your fears. In one go.
Do you believe in showers now?
Give me a hug, coach!
I have one doubt.
What is it?
How are we going to Cuenca?
You go to the bus station and take the coach to Cuenca.
It'll leave you within 300 yards of the hall.
What? We're using a public bus?
Yeah, unless you want a navy chopper.
But who's coming with me?
The players, naturally. You and the players. Who else?
Who's looking after them? They'll manage by themselves.
Of course, out of their hood some may act a little offbeat.
Some? They all act offbeat, Julio, all the time, everywhere.
No, not in their own surroundings.
Look, this is your stop. Get out.
I knew I had great news for you. Collantes.
What's that? Our new transfer, Collantes.
Quite big. Romén's replacement. Collantes.
You're neat as a pin, eh, Juanma?
I put baby powder
-in both armpits and feet. And your outfit?
Can't be in that bag. I got it here.
Shit, Juanma! I said it a thousand times, the red one!
Red. Yes, red's here.
I took both just in case.
Okay, very good. Perfect. What's in the bag, then?
The baby powder for sweat.
And where's your underwear for after the shower?
In here. Cover up, cover up.
We're only missing Collantes.
I hope Julio told him how to get here.
Last year we trained together.
The ball-biting fly, we said.
Julio told me he was tall.
Not at all, she's rather small. What do you mean, "she"?
Collantes! Collantes! Collantes! Collantes!
What a shithole for a meeting point, when I live in the fucking sticks.
Good morning, Collantes. Who the fuck are you?
I'm Marco, your coach. Welcome to the team.
Don't be fresh, I'm "miss" for you.
I beg your pardon.
What's that? My board. What about it?
Well, we're playing basketball, not surfing.
I like to have it with me in case there's a pool in the hotel.
I bring sick bags. Sometimes I get carsick.
What hotel? It's just a day trip.
Fuck, man, what a negative dude.
Where did you get him? He came along.
One question, what day is it?
Today's Saturday! Such a beautiful Saturday!
I like Saturdays! Saturdays are so nice!
I like Saturdays! Beautiful Saturdays!
Come on, attack, Pedro! Pedro!
Come on! Watch that man!
Help him in defence!
Great, Pedro! Very good.
Well done, Pedro!
Where's Collantes? Not here.
Come on, Pedro!
Listen, man-to-man guard!
Support in defence, guys!
Pedro! Pedro! Pedro!
What's up with their number seven?
What's up with him? There's nothing wrong with him.
He's scoring big time.
I mean, he isn't...
Collantes, where the fuck were you?
Smoking. Can't do it in here.
It's not allowed.
Get the ball, guys!
Mark that guy, please!
I can stun him. Well go and do it.
Totally or just a bit? Totally.
I'll be right back.
Pass it to Pedro, boys.
Now I see why you call her the fly.
The ball-biting fly. Ball-biting fly!
We won! It's so beautiful to win!
It's beautiful to win on Saturdays! We won!
I like to win!
We won! I like to win!
I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU. WE NEED TO TALK.
I have a boyfriend. Don't get your hopes up.
Don't you have a girlfriend? No, I don't.
That figures. Am I that ugly?
You're not exactly Brad Pitt. Yeah.
Well I'm married to a very beautiful girl called Sonia.
So, why didn't she come? Hard to believe.
They had an argument.
Welcome to the debate, Manuel. Thank you.
What was the fuss about? There was no fuss, we just...
Had an argument. It's kind of usual with these people.
One more joining in. What do you know, Fabién?
I know. Otherwise, you'd be happy that we won.
It's because his parents didn't show up.
Bye, Sergio. See you.
It's because they're dead, right?
No, my parents are not dead.
And why does she brush you off?
She doesn't. And I don't either.
So? So what? It's not that easy.
Well, do something. Bring her cookies.
Cookies, you say?
Better than a silly bouquet.
You gotta be careful with flowers. They're the devil's kin.
So beautiful to win! We won!
For fuck's sake.
Don't even answer. Let's go.
I like powder!
I like powder! Delicious powder.
Powder is delicious!
Isn't your ward around or something?
The person in charge. In charge.
Please, get back to your seat. No.
Please, get back to your seat!
He looks like a Minion, mom.
You all right, guys?
I like Saturdays!
He)' YOU, the pop singer!
You shut the fuck up or get off the bus!
Hey you. Don't you talk like that to this man.
He's singing because he's happy. And I can't see a "no singing" sign.
-It's outrageous. They should have a special van.
They're not normal, for God's sake.
We are normal. We just have different skills.
You shut up. Let's not have a row.
Let's cool down a bit, okay?
You people, excuse us. The boys just won a game.
They're a bit jumpy. They don't mean to bother you.
They're busting everybody's balls, wise guy.
And they carry drugs. They offered my son some.
I'm clean, coach.
Well, stay seated and quiet or get off the bus, get it?
Excuse me, sir. I have a question.
Are you married or you still haven't cheated on anyone yet?
Look sweetie, I don't slap you because you're a mongoloid.
Don't be so fresh with me!
What about the next games? Fuck the games!
And the championship? Fuck the championship, too.
Not to our song.
Not to our song!
Sorry, honey, I'm sorry!
I didn't see you. Sorry.
Sorry? You just busted my nose, Sonia!
You scared me. I didn't see you. I'm awfully sorry.
I'm coming to make up with you and I get whacked.
What happened to your nose? What?
Have you been drinking?
You just whacked me. Nah, you already had that.
You just said you didn't see me. Well, maybe just a glance before punching.
So you admit you punched me on purpose.
And you got another coming. I'm not texting back? The nerve!
I don't always do the right thing, yes, but you're overreacting.
No, you don't. But that's as usual.
Thanks a bunch.
How's the team doing?
Brilliant. We just won a game. Just brilliant.
Great. When do you play next?
There's no next. How come?
I can't handle a bunch of 30-year-olds acting like babies.
You're afraid of handling them. Afraid? That's nonsense.
I've been convicted to train them, not to take them around.
One day it'll end in disaster.
You're their coach, you have to protect and guard them.
Their coach, not their father.
True. You're nobody's father.
You had no father so nobody should. What?
I'm leaving. I don't really know why I came.
Yes, you're going to play, Marco.
You tell me how, because I'm not taking a bus or a train with them.
No way. You can rent a van.
We can't afford it.
I know where to get one.
I can't drive and they don't.
Any other excuse? -lt's not an excuse.
You drive, since you're so clever and you care so much for my team.
Start the engine. Just listen to the sound.
The engine is a-okay.
Now, the clutch. Foot all the way down.
And you find the gear smooth, real smooth.
Now it's engaged. Careful, don't make the gear grind.
Once the cog engages, you let go of the...
Come now, please!
A little quiet if you please!
One more time?
Are you sure? Yes.
Antonio, trust me.
I like to travel!
Boy, are they lucky! They're going to have a ball in there.
I like to travel in a camper!
I like camper vans! Such a beautiful van!
You tried with the clutch yet?
Collantes, women must stand by each other.
Don't be fresh with me.
You, why don't you drive? She doesn't know shit about it.
I haven't got a licence.
Why don't you get one?
I did. But a lady took it away from me.
You want Paquito to tell his aunt? She's a judge.
She can put that lady in jail.
Let it be. Don't tell her anything.
I brought a snack so I don't get hungry.
It went in. I say.
Don't you dare to take my boy out!
What are you doing? Eyes on the road.
Great, guys, well done!
These guys are terrific in attack. So we're doing this.
Stay strong in defence, bold contact...
No way. We must attack. The boys are playing great.
Sonia, please, I'm the coach.
He has no idea. No idea.
Move the ball and attack. Attack.
Shall I send you both to the camper? Yes!
UNSTOPPABLE FRIENDS Come on, forward, shoot!
You pick a card. Any one you like.
The knight of pentacles. Knight of pentacles.
How about that?
Juanma, if you keep it up you're going to grow gills.
I like showers! Delicious showers!
You know, Carrascosa should see you now.
Let's see the mechanics for shooting.
Arm at right angle. And the wrist too.
Holding the ball on the fingertips.
Do you love me?
Do I love you? Yes.
A whole fucking lot.
FRIENDS BASKETBALL TEAM
Round up, boys.
These guys are really bad.
So we'll just play like we use to, and we're going to crush them.
All right, everybody? I don't agree.
With what? With crushing them.
We play to win, not to humiliate. No.
With this win you climb to third place in the standings.
What does it mean for you to play the National Series?
You still with that? Start scrubbing, dumbass.
That's it, great!
If we win this, we're in the big final. How about that?
I'd never have figured.
Strong defence, guys!
Come on, Fabién!
That's it. Come on, go!
Good passes! Pass to Juanma!
Come on, you can shoot, Fabién. Shoot!
That's it, very good. Great game, guys.
Very well played.
Arms up! Come on!
Romén. Hi, coach.
How are you? It's been ages since I heard from you.
I like him. He's doing great.
He's very good.
Montes is very good. He's learning.
I mean, he'll always carry his disability.
But we're teaching him how to handle it.
Run back to defend!
We play the title game, next.
I say "we" because I'd like you to play with us, Romén.
You don't want to look stupid? No.
I was stupid the last time we spoke. I'm sorry.
Know what? I think you're short. But not for basketball.
Is that a yes or a no?
They're nuts. They're happy.
They feel like a real team. They are.
They owe it a great deal to you, Sonia.
What about you and me? What about us?
We could be a team, again.
You and me? Yes.
Would you? Of course, Marco.
But besides you and me, I'd like to have one more team member.
I want to be a mother. I'm not waiting any longer.
Will you make excuses forever?
It's not easy.
We have to think it through.
When you're over forty and a first-time mother...
-...it increases the chances of... Of what?
Of Down syndrome. Down syndrome, or autism, or like any of these kids.
What's up, Marin.
Well, I wouldn't like to have a child like us, either.
No, I'm sorry. I didn't...
If I could choose, I'd want a healthy child, I'm not stupid.
But I would like to have a father like you.
Thank you very much for everything.
It's the final. How come we can't play the final?
The Dwarfs play the final. So?
We won't laugh at them, we'll treat them with respect.
The Dwarfs play at home, in Tenerife, in the Canary Islands.
But that's wonderful.
Something the boys will never forget.
The club has to buy the tickets.
Planes, hotel. We can't afford it.
We're second and we can make the title.
There must be something we can do.
Do you realise that most of them have never seen the ocean?
Don't worry about them. I told them and they perfectly understand.
You look happy, Jesús. No, I'm sad.
But you're smiling. -l'm sad inside.
First position. Open. Up.
First position, and down.
First position. Open.
Son, I'm leaving. Don't be a fool and take good care of the house.
Where are you going? To my spiritual retreat.
When will you be back?
I'll let you know in a few days.
Have a great time.
Antonio, how are you? Still sore about it.
Naturally. Say, is the boss around?
Back in there.
May I borrow this for a second?
Sure! Take it all and keep it!
What do you want now, Marco?
Get your boss. We have a couple of questions.
We fully comply with the schedules, here.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Do you know what's in here? No.
Videos and statements from workers proving your ongoing ill-treatment of Benito Recuenco Valdegémez, an intellectually disabled employee thanks to whom you, Mr Yepes, get a whopping tax benefit.
Wait a minute. Wait nothing.
We'll close this joint and give you a 60,000 euro fine.
Plus 4 to 6 years in Alcalá's pen.
-Isn't there any way of... I beg your pardon?
You're not proposing something, are you Mr Yepes?
Not at all.
But I'm sure we can talk it out. Can't we?
I like to fly! I like planes!
Flying is so beautiful! I like planes!
Flying is so beautiful! I like planes!
His boss paid for the tickets. He's the new team sponsor.
The world's full of good people.
God bless him. Yes.
And he gave me 15 days leave.
Thank the Lord. Sure.
Sure. He really handed out, sister.
You can see the ocean. The whole ocean.
Why? I don't know.
But it's much bigger than I thought.
I'm glad you came along, Romén.
You know, since your wife took over the team I really feel like playing again.
She told me she wants to have a baby.
With my eyes.
Please, tell the captain to swerve left a little bit.
We don't want to crash with the 17:45 Ryanair Tenerife-Liverpool, which is late.
Are you all right? He's okay.
He's just allergic to plane crashes.
He has a reaction.
All I need now is a credit card for the deposit.
We're staying, right? Don't fuck me.
I brought my skis. -ls there a tennis table?
We have a fully equipped gym.
With a rope? Everything.
These are the keys. We've got double rooms
-so we'll have to share. -l'm with Sonia.
No way. -l'm sorry.
He means well. Don't you see how hot she is?
Sorry. You bunk with Jesús.
I won't sleep with him. I don't trust him.
You have two beds. It's okay.
Then I'll have the upper bed, in case I piss, I'd rather have it.
I share with Collantes. Yes!
All right, follow me. Come on, guys.
I'm going to see the ocean. See you later.
Split in two groups and come on up.
Wait a minute, there's no room for all of you.
Split in groups, please.
Two groups when there wasn't room for one?
First one group, then the other.
You first, coach.
No, I'll take the stairs.
Sonia, you take care.
- Up to the 7th floor? -I'll do a little exercise.
You need your tracksuit. He doesn't wear one. No.
Elevators scare me to death. I admit it.
I got trapped in one when I was a kid. I can't even go near one.
That's like my water thing. And now, see for yourself.
Okay, I'll be upstairs.
A snake, coach! A snake?
A snake. Come here.
A snake! What are you doing?
No, let him out!
Sonia! Marco! Let him out.
I didn't go because I'm claustrophobic.
Marco! Not because I'm a coward.
Don't you see the lift can't make it?
Sure it will. Look, it's special for groups.
But groups of four!
Shit. I knew it. See? Someone ring the bell.
Where do you see a bell? Over there. There's a switch.
Somebody ring, please.
I'll get help.
I'm calling my boyfriend. To say goodbye.
Should we jump to get it started?
You read my mind, dude. It happened once at my place.
Listen to me. We must do it all at once.
What was that?
Are you okay? Talk to me.
How did it go, coach? Don't...
No, really great, Mom.
We just had a little scare but nothing much.
Listen... thanks for calling.
Already gone to bed. Tomorrow they must be in shape.
Hold on a sec.
Yes, still here. The thing is...
Never mind. What about your spiritual retreat?
Well, quite beneficial, son.
I spend the whole day, except when I'm calling you, praying and begging for you two.
Are you in a kind of convent? Yes, well.
It's a rather secluded place.
Good evening, Mr Marco.
May I ask you something? Yes.
Why do you do this?
It makes time go faster.
So when you do this, time goes faster?
Yes, but you have to wait some years.
He's an Olympic champion.
What do you mean? Gold medal in Sydney, 2000.
In the Olympics? In ours. The Paralympics.
He was captain of the Spanish team.
They took away his medal. He almost killed himself.
Why? It was a hard blow for him.
I mean, why did he lose his medal?
Because he and another chap were the only really disabled people.
The others had no disability whatsoever.
There was an engineer, an architect, a journalist.
Which isn't saying much. I've seen journalists play like shit.
How come they did that? It's a fraud.
The Federation sent them to win in order to get larger subsidies.
A shameful thing.
Did nobody realise?
Yes, the press aired it, and they all had to give the medals back.
Even Romén. That's why he doesn't trust coaches.
Dwarfs! Dwarfs! Dwarfs!
They're not that small. They look big enough.
This isn't a friendly game, is it?
Friendly? No. This is the National Series final, Marin.
And we'll win because we are champs.
But put on your headguard anyway.
Am I in, coach? No. Later, for Sergio.
Should I start warming up? No.
Come on, guys, get back. Get back, quick.
Come on, Sergio.
Now it's your turn.
Without warming up? Right. Move!
That's it, Manuel!
Pass it to me!
We have to select the shots!
You have to defend, guys!
Great, go on, guys!
Great, now defence, guys! Defence!
That's it, Manuel!
Great, go on, guys!
Come on, boys! Go, go!
Get the rebound!
Get that rebound!
Look at Manuel!
That's it, well done!
To Romén, to Romén.
Go, Sergio! Bravo! What a shot!
Go, go, go!
We play like a team! That's it.
How much longer? One minute, Manuel.
Guys, steal and attack!
Marin, don't let him through! Don't!
Coach, I've got a 90 degree sprained finger.
Don't hype it, Marin.
Off to the sickbay. You can't play.
But I want to play.
One minute left and one point under, the team needs me.
Not like that. You can't. Off you go.
Anyway I think I'll go and have it examined.
I don't want to lose the hand and have some complication with the arm.
Hold on to the ball! It's on the line!
Everybody on defence!
Benito, shoot for the draw!
Shoot, Benito! Shoot, shoot!
Second! We came in second!
Friends! Friends! Friends!
We're great, coach. But we lost.
Not at all! We're second-best!
Runner-ups are better than champions. Oh, yes? How?
Sure! What's better, a lonely runner or a runner-up?
I love you, coach!
Champions! Champions! Champions!
What a game, son. Thanks, but I'm sorry lost.
Is that so? Well, no mother cares about that.
The thing is if you're all right.
I'm all right, Mom. I feel great.
It's been ages since I felt this great.
You were great. And you did it for your team.
You're my team, Sonia.
And I'd love to make it grow.
And he could be another player. Or she.
With your eyes?
No, with Roman's if you please!
Are you stupid, Sergio?
Come into the water. All right.
The Great Wall of China, Benito. Nice.
How are you doing, Romén? Good.
I see that.
You played like a champ. You did well too, coach.
Thanks a lot, man. You trusted us.
You're champions. I had to.
Not you. You're already a champ.
Nobody can take it away from you. Ever.
We'll have to win the next championship.
We will. I like that.
To hear you say "we will" instead of "you will".
Are you ever going to leave us?
You don't need me, Romén. You know better than I do.
I got a head-start. I played years in Getafe.
Getafe? I didn't know they had a team of...
In the first team. Carrascosa was coach.
We were playing the promotion when I had the accident.
An accident? A motorbike crash.
A drunken driver hit me.
Nothing happened to him but I got a head injury and went into a coma.
When I woke up with a mess in my head, my girlfriend left me.
I had to quit college, too. I wanted to be an architect.
I'm very sorry, Romén.
But I'm happy. Because we're together.
Together, we're going to win.
My dad left us when I was 9. Sonia told me.
We'll never let you down, coach. Ever.
Who's calling at this hour?
It's too early.
I bet it's Julio. It may be important.
How did you know?
Yes, that's right, runners-up.
What is it, Marco?
We both knew this moment had to come.
Well, this thing came up.
You signed your last day over a month ago.
You've given us much more than you had to.
You don't know how grateful the club is.
So? Going back home to Estudiantes?
No. I'm making the National Team.
Holy shit! Coach of the national team?
No, they hired Carrascosa, my old boss.
He asked me to be his second.
But it's a dream for me.
They want me to start right away, Julio.
I'm mighty glad for you.
You'll always have a bunch of good friends here.
You won them over.
I know it'll be hard to say goodbye.
But they'll understand.
Look, I'd rather have you do it.
But you surely must say goodbye to them.
I'm sure they want to say goodbye to you.
Tell them I couldn't, that I'll be back as soon as I can.
Are you leaving without saying goodbye?
He doesn't speak. Quiet. Doesn't speak.
I've got to follow my own path, guys.
This is a great professional opportunity. I have to make a living.
Sure you do, coach. We just wanted to thank you.
You've been a very good man.
And you did teach us a lot.
I also learned. Yes.
You read our minds.
And you got over your fear of elevators.
And in one go.
And my girlfriend is proud of me because she saw us on the Internet.
And she's a whore. Maybe, but she's proud of me.
You made a team of us all.
You cared for us like a father. A good one.
You cared for me too.
All the merit is yours.
We haven't had enough time to set you completely right.
But we're happy enough.
You're crying, coach. Crying.
No, I'm not, man.
It must be an allergy. It happens to me sometimes.
It's not that. It's because Manuel is holding him too tight.
You squeezed him, man. You almost crushed him.
You treated us like we were people.
Well, you are. Don't be fresh with me.
We are the bread! We are the butter!
We are the toast in the silver platter!
Oranges and lemons! Champions!