Car Wash (1976) Script

DISC JOCKEY: Hey, hey, L.A., L.A., it's a brand new day.

What you say, babe?

If you wanna get down, you got to get up

and I'm your wake up man, baby.

The J.B. is here rappin' in your ear.

The J.B.'s not on your radio, your radio's not really on.

Too hot for you? Then you stay cool with the baddest sound in town!

This is KGYS, where the music's always the best.

News and weather at 8:00 and don't be late, 'cause you ain't got the news till you get it straight from KGYS.

It's Friday. T.G.I.F. and there's smog in the basin, traffic on the freeway, crime on the streets, music all day long at KGYS.

It's 7:47 baby, that's a good time to fly.

Can you dig it?

Hey, get right tonight. Tonight's the night.

J.B.'s Disco Dance and Show, live at

Howard's Grand Casino Music Hall and Rib Shack and you can be there!

Or be square!

Now, there are only three pair of tickets left

and I got 'em right here in my hot little hand

and I'm gonna give 'em away today!

'Cause they ain't no good tomorrow, so when you hear this sound...

MAN: Disco dance!

DISC JOCKEY: Get on the phone and call J.B. at 5-5-5 KGYS.

And if you name the tune, two of those tickets can be yours.

Remember now, that's 5-5-5 KGYS.

The eagle flies today, payday! Ooh! Listen to that eagle scream.

Don't fold it, I wanna hold it.

Money don't buy no love, honey, but it gets you the best low calorie substitute.

We'll be right back with you after this station identification.

Hey, peace, Lonnie. How you be, man?

All right. I heard that.

(CHUCKLES)

(OVER RADIO) Good morning. This is Billy Bass and this is the news.

In Washington a new scandal as Congressional investigators

probed into the rumors of male Congressional Aides

being hired by male Congressmen in exchange for sexual favors.

This will never do, honey.

Here in Los Angeles, Gay Activist spokesman, Harry Twig, issued a statement applauding the alleged violation

of the ethics committee rules, after an extended filibuster in a special caucus.

A Southern Senior Committee Member

replied that he had no objection to homosexuals

as long as they stayed in their place.

(WHOOPING)

Move, will you? Get outta the way!

(CONTINUOUS HONKING) Hey, hey!

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Listen, you don't...

You don't know what you have to do with Lonnie.

Girl, you're crazy! You're very confused.

Just shut up!

Don't tell me to shut up! Just shut up, okay?

Don't tell me to shut up!

You shut up!

Hey, Otis, is, uh, Mona here?

She's late again as usual, T.C.

All right, all right, all right.

Huh? What?

Today we got the Big Three.

Yeah? Yeah.

Uh, the baseball pool, the fight and the jai alai.

All right. Jai alai?

Yeah. They're playing jai alai in Tijuana.

I thought that was a dance. A dance?

Hey, I'm gonna bet two dollars on the fight.

On the fight? Yes, sir.

All right. Up tight! Outta sight!

Stand and deliver, honey.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Sweet sexy thing!

Watch it, here comes Ann Margaret.

Keep an eye on your zippers.

(LAUGHING)

One thing you can be sure of, Hippo, is when I'm around your body is safe.

(ALL WHOOPING)

Hey, Lindy, where's my money?

Slide, you know I ain't got no sweet potatoes today.

Hi, I'm Floyd!

And I'm Lloyd!

(ALL CHEERING)

Oh, Hollywood, Hollywood!

Hi, I'm Floyd!

Ho! And I'm Lloyd!

And we're the 'Futuristies'!

¶ Sittin' by my telephone

¶ Waitin' for my woman to call

(VOCALIZING)

¶ I don't know what I did wrong

¶ I just wish that she would come back home ¶

(VOCALIZING)

Go! Uh, do it!

Do it!

Oh, do it, aha. Uh, do it. Uh, do it, do it, do it!

All right.

We got an audition for an agent today.

How'd you like our new opening?

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Lonnie, what'd you think about it?

Well, it's improving.

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, hey.

LLOYD: I said, no! No!

That's all right. They're fools.

They don't know! They don't know!

(ALL WHISTLING)

Well, kiss my grits!

Aw, try it for the night.

What's the matter, man, you goin' to a funeral?

Carry on, honey. Ritzy Titsie!

You know, somebody around here gotta have a little class.

BOTH: Ooh, little is right!

(GUFFAWING)

MAN: (ON RADIO) ...In our policy after victory

in the war resistance against Japan...

Will you just put that stuff away, Irwin?

August 15, 1945 from the selective...

I heard you! I heard you! I heard you already, damn it!

Good morning, Mr. B.

Morning, Snapper.

Good morning, Mr. B., how are you?

Lonnie! Irwin!

Come on, Irwin! Irwin!

Hey, Irwin. Hey, Lonnie.

How you doin'?

SNAPPER: Irwin, how you doin', Irwin?

Hey, baby, what's happening?

Aw, man.

I don't think I know that one.

Hey, lay back, baby.

I catch you later.

CHUCO: Hey, T.C., I ain't heard nothin' about the Fly in a long time, man.

Way it is with the Fly, brother.

He just lays back, man, and he just checks the buzz...

(WHOOPING)

Hear the cry. Whoo! Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, dude, it's the Fly!

All right. Man.

All right.

Check this out! Check this out! You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Whoa!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Put your heart in my hands, honey.

Look out, Mr. Clean!

Now, hear this!

I believe it is exactly two minutes eleven seconds to opening.

(ALL CACKLING)

Thank you. Keep the change.

You probably noticed I ain't got nothin' against you people.

I ain't got nothin' against you people.

I ain't got nothin' against any people.

That's what I think we need is more love in the world.

I don't know about marriage and I don't know if I'd go that far but, uh, I believe in the lunch counter thing.

I think, if a guy wants to be able to get somethin' to eat, he oughta be able to get somethin' to eat, you know.

Come on, let's move it up there!

(HONKING) What is this? A Mobil Gas Economy Run?

Come on, what's goin' on out there? Bunch of bastards!

(CONTINUOUS HONKING) Move it!

Yeah, you're probably wonderin' why I even picked you up in the first place, huh?

Lotta guys are scared.

Ah, they're scared of gettin' ripped off, they're scared they're gonna get beat outta their fares.

MAN: (ON RADIO) A KGYS public health service announcement.

Hi, Leon.

Remember, cancer cures smoking.

Watch it, Marsha.

My son's here today. Oh, okay.

I used to drive a gypsy cab in New York.

Know what a gypsy cab is?

Gypsy cab will go to Harlem.

Gypsy cab will go to Puerto Rican neighborhood.

That's what it is.

We used to have a slogan on the side of the gypsy cab.

Kinda funny now that I'm workin' with the Yellow Cabs.

And the slogan used to be, "We will go anywhere we are not yellow!"

(CHUCKLES) Get it? We are not yellow!

That's no kind of slur on the Chinese or anything like that.

But I ain't afraid, uh, because I trust people.

I trust people because I like 'em, you know?

Come on, you bastards!

(HONKING)

Come on! I could tell from a block away that you was honest.

I could tell by your eyes.

Well, not the eyes, actually, from a block away, but I go by body length.

Just your body length. You got a real honest body.

You bastard!

WOMAN: (ON RADIO) Philadelphia Flyers record run in the women's 100 yard dash

was point five seconds better than Wilma Rudolph's

Olympic record set a decade ago.

And in baseball, another record was set

when Reggie Jackson hit two consecutive Grand Slam home runs in one inning

to aid in the 16 to one undeniable slaughter of his former teammates.

Now that's what I call swingin' a big bat!

The weather for Los Angeles and vicinity

continued clear and warm, with light smog in the basin.

79 at the airport, 83 downtown

and in KGYS land, watch out Los Angeles, 89 degrees.

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, come on. How about that Reggie Jackson?

Reggie who?

He's a great baseball player.

Honey, baseball is not my game.

Well, do you know about this...

MAN: (ON RADIO) ...Soul support in greater Los Angeles.

Remember now, we're gonna be givin' away tickets

to J.B.'s big Disco Dance and show tonight.

Now, here's a smooth one called, Water. Take a sip.

(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

Good morning, Abdullah!

Where were you yesterday, Duane?

And you're late today, Duane.

You better get off of my case, Earl.

And my name is Abdullah Mohammed Akbar, all right?

Mohammed Akbar.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, man, you all right?

Hey, Abullah! No, man!

You got a problem? I mean, you need somethin'?

No.

Just wondered if you was all right.

I'm okay, man.

Go to work, I'll be there in a second, okay?

See you outside.

Yeah, uh, excuse me, I realize you don't get to look up very often, but, uh, did you happen to see a big, tall, black blonde chick?

Uh, big, big, black, blonde chick?

Red boots.

Long, big, black...

Yeah, black blonde!

No.

Scruggy! What's the matter, man?

You should be feelin' great!

Oh, look, I'm worried about Charlene.

I mean, maybe I should call her or somethin'.

You know, I am... Ain't never stayed out all night before.

It's not cool to let a woman take you for granted, man.

Besides, you was terrific last night, huh?

Yeah, well, that's another thing.

I got a burn down there now.

I mean, suppose I caught somethin'. Suppose I got the...

Hey, this ain't funny.

Suppose I got the clap, how am I gonna explain that?

Hey, man, you ain't caught nothin' but a case of the guilts.

Will guilt burn?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(ON RADIO) All right, this is J.B. back on the case

with a change of pace with another better than the other.

All right, come on, go man.

Hey, come on, fellas. Hey, come on, what are you doin'?

Hey, come on!

This is KGYS, Los Angeles, the Hip Trip.

Guaranteed to put more dip in your hip, more glide in your stride.

Now, on the flip side, here's the hottest sound in town.

The coldest sound around.

J.B. the round man of sound, live and in full livin' color.

More pleasure per pound, get down.

¶ You might not ever get rich

¶ But let me tell ya it's better than diggin' a ditch.

¶ There ain't no tellin' who ya might meet

¶ A movie star or maybe even an Indian Chief

¶ Working at the car wash

¶ Workin' at the car wash, yeah

¶ Come on and sing it with me car wash

¶ Get with the feelin' y'all car wash, yeah

¶ Come summer the work gets kinda hard

¶ This ain't no place to be if ya planned on being a star

¶ Let me tell you it's always cool

¶ And the boss don't mind sometimes if you act the fool

¶ At the car wash

¶ Talkin' about the car wash, yeah

¶ Come on, y'all, and sing it for me car wash

¶ Car wash, yeah

¶ Work and work

¶ Well, those cars never seem to stop comin'

¶ Work and work

¶ Keep those rags and machines hummin'

¶ Work and work

¶ My fingers to the bone

¶ At five I can't wait 'til it's time to go home

¶ Hey, get your car washed today

¶ Fill up and you don't have to pay

¶ Come on and give us a play

¶ Get a wash right away

¶ Car wash Talkin' about the car wash

¶ Car wash, yeah

¶ Come on, y'all, and sing it with me car wash

¶ Sing it with feeling y'all

¶ Car wash, yeah

¶ Car wash

¶ Those cars never seem to stop comin'

¶ Well, I say keep those rags and machines hummin'

¶ Car wash

¶ Let me tell you it's always cool

¶ And the boss don't mind sometimes if ya act a fool

¶ At the... ¶ Say, Mona! Hey, baby, it's me!

T.C., mama. Hey!

You'll like it there, baby,

MAN: (ON RADIO) All right. That is so bad, super smash number three

with a bullet to slow the pace to taste.

Here's a bit of mellow funk.

Lonnie, how are you?

How you doin', Mr. B.?

How's the family? Everybody is all right!

Kids okay? Yeah.

Charlie? Fine!

Hey, Duane? Duane, I wanna talk to you, Duane.

I don't know how many times I gotta tell you this, my name is Abdullah.

Abdullah! Where was Abdullah yesterday?

Somethin' came up.

Something always comes up!

Something came up three times for...

Yeah, you want these cars washed or don't you?

Here you go!

Looks good!

Good morning! Good morning!

I don't want you to leave here without realizing what I can do for your car.

Like what? Take over the payments for me?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

And there ain't no black Superman, man.

Dig it, man. I would be the first, Lloyd.

I wouldn't be like Superman, that square sucker, jack man.

I'd be sharp, sharp, sharp, man.

Yeah.

Oh, wow, man I'd have me a bad black cape, man, a helmet, look like two big eyes, you know, and a brim, man.

You're full of shit!

Oh, come on, Lloyd, like, well, man, like I just be able to walk up buildings, brother, man!

Hey, and nobody would mess with me, man.

Nobody, man, 'cause like I would be the Fly!

(MIMICS BUZZING)

But you still full of shit, though!

You wouldn't talk to me like that if I was the Fly!

Oh, yes I would!

Because then, you'd be full of fly shit!

You know what else, man? There ain't nothin' lower than fly shit!

Not kangaroo shit, elephant shit or chicken shit!

Ain't nothin' lower than fly shit!

(MIMICS BUZZING)

You crazy man, I swear to God, I'll kill you, man, you ever do that again!

You ever touch my shirt again, I'll kill you!

EARL: It's only four hours, give you the best shine you ever had.

All right, do it!

Look, uh, you didn't, by any chance, happen to see a, uh, tall, blonde, black girl, did you, around here?

No. No.

Okay, yeah, go ahead, get in!

I'm on my way to see Slide, play a number. Earl?

Never sucker me with that lame game.

Go lose your money, fool!

Fool? Who you callin' fool?

Say, what makes you think you're so special?

'Cause I'm the nigger who doesn't get wet around here.

I'm the star.

Just like me, shine, shine.

Only you stoop a lot lower.

MR. B: (OVER LOUDSPEAKER) Irwin, report to the office.

A lot lower.

Irwin, wherever you are, report to the office.

Did you hear your father, Irwin?

Report to the front office.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Dee-Luxe Car Wash!

Hold on, please.

Leon, it's your wife.

Myrna? Uh, yes.

Uh, uh, sure we can talk.

Why not? Uh...

Yes.

Uh, yes.

Don't do that! Now, don't do that! Put that down!

Nothing! Nothing!

Myrna, is that all, Myrna?

Myrna, I'm busy, Myrna!

The new drapes aren't long enough in the living room.

What does she care how much it costs me?

Oh, poor Leon!

(CLICKING TONGUE)

Watch it! Watch it! My son! My son!

Uh, Irwin, uh, would you come to the office? I wanna talk to you.

(CHUCKLES)

Irwin, uh, I hate to interrupt your summer vacation, but maybe you can look over last week's receipts, give us the benefit uh, of what you're learning in Business Management, huh?

Double check my figures, why don't ya?

I wanna work with the men, Dad.

What?

I wanna work with the men!

Listen, Pop, I wanna be one of the working class, like Mao says, "Workers of the World, unite."

I'm hearing this from a college man?

$20,000 worth of education, you wanna wash cars?

Listen, Pop. "All work done for the masses..."

And that book again. I don't want to see that book again!

All right, Pop, hang loose!

(SIGHS)

Go ahead! Go ahead! Wash cars! Wash cars!

All right!

J.B.: So, hang in there, 'cause we're makin' it all happen.

J.B. here on KGYS.

Keep that glide in your stride.

It's 10:18 in the A.M. the midmorning hour.

It's 75 out at the ocean, and the surf reported good from Malibu to Newport Beach, so this next tune is for all you surfers out there.

Hang Ten!


You all right, Calvin?

Huh? You all right?

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Didn't I tell you not to skate through here? Now, go on, get outta here.

Calvin, not... Watch out!

FLOYD: Oh, are you here again?

Yeah, that's right!

Ah, go play in the street, Calvin.

Your mama!

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Here's somethin' for you!

Go skate under a truck!

Listen, I'd like to talk to someone and get some information about a social disease.

Well, I can't right now, I'm working.

Uh-huh.

No.

Not yet.

Well...

Well, it's just kinda hangin' there, lookin' sick, you know?

MAN: (ON RADIO) I know you're diggin' it 'cause I dig playin' it, babe.

Hey, Irwin, you cool?

I'm cool!

Hey, what's happening?

And then after, and then after we...

Looks like the Car Wash heir wants to play in the water.

Mmm! Look at that child!

Hey, brothers, I'm here to unite with you.

Ooh!

Stoned to the tits, honey!

Say, uh, Irwin, Irwin why don't you go 'round there with Lloyd and Floyd, and work with the steam, huh?

Right!

Go ahead!

(LAUGHING)

I think I better go work with the dryers.

Mmm-hmm.

(GUFFAWING)

(EXCLAIMING)

You got a problem there, boys?

Ooh, man! Far out!

You okay, kid?

Oh, wow! What a trip!

Hey, hey, stop... Stop that horsing around!

All right, stop that foolin' around, Irwin! Irwin!

You better go put on somethin' dry!

MR. B: Wash cars! Come on, wash cars!

Wow, look at that! I'm the first human being to go through the car wash!

Number one! Number one!

Hey, Mr. B.!

Uh, hey, kid, this is no playground, huh?

How come all the other car washes got fancy brushes and you still wash cars by hand?

That's the feature of this car wash, we do it all by hand.

The personal touch! Can't you read the sign?

I think you're just too cheap to put in machines.

Uh, come on, get outta here, huh? Beat it! Beat it!

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

(OVER RADIO) Radio, radio, radio, radio.

WOMAN: Because you wanna keep yourself fresh and feminine

you'll wanna use Wild Flower for personal hygiene.

Wild Flower because it's made for you.

MAN: (LAUGHS) I drink it every day.

Can you dig it?

And, when I do, it makes me go...

(SCREAMS)

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Sorry!

Hey, that's okay, baby!

You're my kind of woman!

Disco dance!

First person to call me at KGYS at 5-5-5, KGYS

and name this song gets to win the first pair of tickets

to J.B.'s Disco Dance and Show, don't you know.

Drop a dime, get on the line. That's 5-5-5, KGYS.

All right! Oh! Gimme, gimme, I ain't got no change.

Call me now. (LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY)

What's that cat lookin' for, man?

You mean I ain't got a dime?

JUSTIN: You're kiddin'! He's funny.

We have a winner in Compton. How 'bout that?

He's out of his mind.

Man, I knew the song, didn't have no change. Man.

Quick as a flash, no cash, T.C.!

The next song, T.C. is Swanee River.

Yeah, I never liked you anyway, Slide.

Hey, T.C., you need a dime?

Yeah, thank you, man.

I mean, it's on me.

WOMAN: Of course it's busy, it's a beauty salon. Just break in.

Rickie, darling, hold it in for Mommy.

Come on, you can do it.

Now, now if you have to throw up, do it out the window.

Away from the car.

(RETCHING) Operator, this is urgent!

Please, uh, look, if you... If they do come through, will you please phone me at this number?

It's absolutely urgent that I talk to them.

No, away! Away from the car!

Hippo, you got yourself a customer, honey!

Oh, my God!

It's gonna eat the paint out!

I told you... I told you, for Mommy, to throw up away from the car.

Can you get it off? Can you get it off in a hurry, before it wrecks the finish? You better get outta there!

Come outta there!

I'm very late! Do you think it's gonna eat through the paint?

Look at you! You're just...

Uh, can you tell me where the, uh...

Over there. Thank you very much.

You will hurry with this because the paint... The finish is gonna be...

Oh, if Monsieur Mark calls...

If he calls would you ask him to take me a half an hour later, please?

Sure. Thank you.

Hello, is somebody in there?

Is somebody in there?

This is an emergency!

Is somebody in there? I have an emergency!

I think someone's in there, ma'am. What?

Oh, I... Someone's...

Please! Open up!

(RETCHING)

Oh, please!

Uh, Miss Thing wants it clean, honey.

Uh, Charlie, come take over for me for a minute, all right?

What is going on in there? Why don't you open this door?

Oh, God, please.

Please, God, open this door!

Oh, my God, it stinks in here!

It's supposed to, lady, it's the toilet.

I'm not gonna go in there. It's the ladies' room,

WOMAN: (OVER WALKIE-TALKIE) Six-A-eleven. Six-A-eleven ambulance injury...

MAN: (ON RADIO) Beautiful, beautiful!

Stay with me, 'cause we'll be givin' away tickets all day, so we can boogie all night.

Get down, baby!

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

MAN: You wanna get that, Mona?

Hello, Five Spot!

¶ Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa

¶ Men have named you... ¶

Mona? Mona?

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

Oh, my God! I'm sorry.

I know you didn't do it! It's all right. It's all right!

Is it clean yet? Sir? Is it?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Thank you very much. Rickie, get into the car.

God, I see a speck.

Oh, it's in the paint.

No, that is not in the paint!

Do it again, please!

Lady, believe me, it's in the paint!

I do not believe you! Please, try that again!

Lady, I'm telling you, it's in the paint! Look for yourself!

I am looking for myself! I brought this car in.

You are refusing to do your job, I am refusing to tip you!

Just shows you what happens when you go out of Beverly Hills for any service!

Mom! Not now, Rickie!

Adios, Miz Beverly Hills!

(GASPS)

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING)

MAN: (ON RADIO) I know you gonna dig this.

Guaranteed to ease your pain and take the chain off your brain.

It's long and low and dedicated

to what makes the world go 'round.


Hey, guys, look who's here!


(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Whose car is that?

That belongs to the supreme black man, that's who!

Yeah, man, that's Daddy's car, man.

Daddy Rich! You never watch him on TV?

T.C.: That's the man with the answers to all my questions.

SLIDE: Go on with your bad self!

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!

ALL: Amen! Amen!

Praise the Lord!

Well, praise this car, honey.

Thank you, Miss.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Yeah, Daddy.

Daddy Rich, what's your secret, brother?

Your secret, please!

DADDY RICH: Thank you, brother.

Good to see you! The secret?

There are no secrets.

Uh-huh. Believe that.

I believe that.

Except believe in the Lord! Right!

Whoo! And believe in yourself!

Yeah, that's right. I believe it.

And most of all... Uh-huh.

Believe in that Federal green.

ALL: (CHEERING) Yeah!

'Cause money walks and bullshit talks!

How you doin', brother?

Daddy Rich, I been followin' you for over five years.

Well, bless you, brother, bless you.

Would you allow me the privilege of shinin' your shoes?

Please.

Well, you know what they say, "I take what is given unto me."

(ALL CHEERING)

Daddy Rich's special polish.

Special polish.

Ooh! That's a real one.

What's it feel like in there, Lindy?

Like being in church with Burt Reynolds, honey!

Brother, I'd like you to drink with me, 'cause my cup runneth over.

All right.

Blessed be the Tithe.

All right!

ALL: Yeah!

From the body to the heavens!

And a little bit for the earth!

(ALL CHEERING)

Amen, brothers. ALL: Amen!

It's good, too.

Don't even look dirty.

You gonna wash this car because of a little pigeon shit on the trunk?

No, not the car, just the spot.

Don't let the water be hotter than 66.4.

Water?

You better speak to this gentleman.

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Daddy Rich, ever since I've been followin' you, I got a new house and a color TV.

All right.

Praise the Lord!

Why don't you tell everybody how you got so rich, Daddy Rich?

This is one nigger you ain't foolin, brother.

I mean, I'm hip to this game, you runnin' down these people here!

What can I do for you, brother?

Oh, the same thing you doin' for everybody else!

Nothin'!

I guess you don't believe in my church.

The Church of Divine Economic Spirituality!

That's right. I don't believe in it.

Then you don't believe in God? Not your God.

My God's doin' all right by me.

He sure is.

He's doin' all right by me, too.

Why don't you climb on board, brother?

And believe in me?

And for a small fee, I'll set you free, 'nearer Thy God to thee.

ALL: Amen!

Praise you, honey, praise you!

'Cause it's better to have money and not to need it, than to need it and not to have it!

Yeah! Amen!

And there's a good place in this world for money!

Yes, siree, and I know where it is.

It's right here in my pocket.

Right! Okay!

You talkin' just like a pimp!

(ALL JEERING)

SNAPPER: Answer him!

Answer him, Lord!

I don't get mad at people like that.

You know why? Because he's a revolutionary!

Yeah! That's right, brother!

You must be leadin' a bunch of fools!

Disrespect one that he don't even know.

Wilson Sisters some of the finest women you ever wanna meet!

He don't know nothin' about 'em!

Don't talk about 'em!

Yeah. That's right!

If I wasn't a Christian man, I'd probably be kickin' in your ass!

(ALL CHEERING)

Drop on down, brother.

Drop on down, little brother!

I'm gonna drop on down with a bit of light!

Make him apologize, Sister.

All right, you got it!

I shall not be moved!

Like a tree planted by the water.

I shall not be moved!

¶ Rattatat Boom

¶ Make the sound of a Jet Plane zoom

¶ Ooh rattatat boom

¶ Make the sound of a bomb

¶ You got to believe in somethin'

¶ Why not believe in me?

¶ You got to believe in somethin'

¶ Why not believe in me?

¶ Tell me brother, what have I, I done to you?

¶ To make you mean and treat me the way you do

¶ Go on and wave your flag, brother

¶ Start your revolution

¶ I'm willin' to let you do your thing

¶ Tell me why are you blind when it comes to mine

¶ Oh, you gotta believe in somethin'

¶ Why not believe in me?

¶ Me, me, me, me, me

¶ You gotta believe in something

¶ Why not believe in me?

¶ Why don't you let the Wilson Sisters set you free?

¶ Take the chain off your brain, Lord and believe in me

¶ Lord, I said that!

¶ Take the chain off your brain

¶ Listen, brother

¶ You always talkin' 'bout the world needs changin'

¶ You better stop! Take a look at yourself

¶ Stop ridiculin' everybody else

¶ You gotta believe in somethin'

¶ Why not believe in me?

¶ Why don't you let the Wilson Sisters set you free?

¶ You got to believe in somethin'

¶ Yeah you got to believe, believe, believe

Why not believe in me?

¶ The world don't need to be no colder

¶ Get the chip off your shoulder ¶

Uh, maybe this will help you find Joe.

Seek and you shall find.

MAN: All right, Daddy Rich!

Bye, bye, Daddy.

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Can't understand?

You got it in you, too, brother.

You got it in you!

MAN: (ON RADIO) Here's the big one back at you.

Hot lines have been ringin' off all day for this one.

The chart climber of the week!

(LAUGHING)

Take it on outta here, honey.

Okay, Lindy!

Ciao.

(BARKING)

You gonna drive that car.

You are driving and cleaning that car!

Listen, it's okay. He won't hurt you. (GIGGLES)

Hey!

(SCREAMS)

He's a puppy dog!

Yeah, but just drive your puppy dog on around there and get him in the shower.


Trash!

Yeah, scum, scum!

Look, I'm gonna try to get away after dinner, you gonna be home?

I don't know. Maybe!

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, we got work to do! We got work to do!

You cats have no maturity!

Hey, man, there's a dog in the car.

(BARKING)

Sparky! Sparky!

Back dog! Hey, man, open the door.

Go, go, git! Git him, git him, he's out!

Sparky, come 'ere!

Catch him! Hold him!

Get him! Get him! Hold him! Sparky!

Sparky! Thank you.

All right, Sparky! Let's go. Sparky!

Give me a break, will you, Sparky, not here?

Ooh! Yuk! Sparky! Ugh!

Ooh! Yuk!

Dog catcher! Yeah.

Gets points with people. Geronimo?

Hey! I got a customer.

What's that for? To clean up the dog shit!

(LAUGHS)

Hey! We don't clean up no shit!

Uh-uh!

Don't gimme no lip, clean up the shit!

Hey, you clean it up, Earlie!

That's right, you clean it up!

I don't get wet and I don't clean up no dog shit!

But I do kick ass!

I love him! Clean it up, Goody!

MAN: (ON RADIO) It's five minutes before the hour.

I promised you more about the Pop Bottle Bomber.

KGYS is first with the flash

live from Parker Center's soul sister reporter LaVonne Styles.

Come on in!

Hi, this is LaVonne Styles...

Oh, no, thank you!

And I'm here in Parker Center talking to Police Chief Dave Evis.

Chief Evis, have you been able to identify the Mad Bomber?

Hi, Sam.

EVIS: He's a short, nervous, straggly haired individual.

How you doin', Marsha? Okay.

And from recovered fragments and eyewitness descriptions

his principle weapon seems to be a common pop bottle

that's filled with, oh, you know, high explosives

and capped with silver foil containing a fuse device.

From Parker Center, this is LaVonne Styles

for KGYS News.

Hi! Finite, honey. Oh, thank you.

Lindy, you lightened your hair.

I love it.

What color is it?

It's supposed to be mango, honey, but it's not right yet.

But wait till I get to the school tonight.

Listen, Lindy, I finally figured out how I wanna have my nose done.

I was thinking of doing Elizabeth Taylor from here to here and Olivia Newton-John on the bottom.

What do you think, huh?

Flawless, honey!

Crimes, who is Earl to tell me to clean up that shit?

And then Geronimo run off and leave me standin' there.

What? Who do they think... Hey, Tall Chief.

Lend me your ears.

Yeah, uh, run that by me again?

Lend me your ears.

Uh, lend me your lips.

Aw, come on, man, I ain't askin' to sleep with your mama.

Have you ever seen me give up my ears?

No, man, but...

Well, then, what possessed you to even think to ask to borrow my ears?

This chick wants to take my picture, man. Just for a minute.

You gotta do better than that.

And just for a minute ain't gonna get it either, man!

You gotta tell me somethin'! Make me understand...

Well, you know, it ain't every day you can do somethin' for a fellow American.

MAN: (ON RADIO) Hey, it's noon on the moon...

Hey, and don't get it all dirty.

...midday in L.A., and time for Rod McGrew to do it to you.

Yeah! Thank you, J.B. This is your brother Rod McGrew

and don't forget to stick around

because later on we've got two free tickets to J.B.'s Disco Dance and Show

live at Howard's Grand Casino Music Hall and Rib Shack.

It happens tonight.

We want you to be there for the funkiest sounds in town like this.

(SNORTING)

(SCREAMING)

Hey, Tall Chief, thanks a lot for the ears.

Any time, my friend.

Hey, uh, the Five Spot got ribs today.

I'm gonna get me some ribs.

Ooh, yeah.

How about y'all, man?

Uh, how about you, Abdullah? You want some ribs?

Man, I told you, I don't eat meat!

I'm off the pig! I eat natural foods! Not slave food!

Is that all right with you?

Uh, excuse me, brother, but is ribs pig?

(LAUGHING)

(YELLING)

What did I do? Shit, man, what did I do?

She's crazy, she's got her brains in her lungs!

Then the bitch must be a genius!

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Marsha, what'd you do to my lunch?

What'd you do with my ears, man? Nothin', man!

Yes, you did! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Looks like a nice lunch you got there.

Hey, Geronimo. Yeah, what do you want?

I was just thinkin' maybe I oughta call Charlene?

Just to let her know I'm all right?

Hey, Scruggy, man, what'd I tell you this morning?

It ain't cool for your old lady to know where you are every minute of every day, man. You know what I mean?

Now tonight when you get home, she's gonna be waitin' there at the door with your pipe and your slippers and that little negligee you told me about.

You know, it ain't good for her to know that she can boss you around!

Well, I don't smoke a pipe and I don't wear no slippers.

It's the decent thing...

Scruggy, I'm the expert, right, huh?

Take it from me, man, I've been married three and a half times.

I should know. Who should know if I should know, huh?

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, hey what the hell is goin' on around here? Huh?

Hey, this is no playground! Wash cars, huh?

We're on our lunch hour!

Well then, eat your lunch.

Now, go ahead, you heard me!

You heard Mr. B.!

That's right, Chuco, I'm gonna get you!

In your dreams, Pocahontas.

Hey, come on!

MAN ON RADIO: The station that brings you

(CHORAL) Soul music!

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Get you some coffee?

Anybody want a little more coffee?

¶ Oh, baby, see things my way

¶ You don't even look my way

¶ I wanna get next to you ¶

Okay, what'll you have?

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Hey, boy, you better stay away from that hooker.

Hey, Goody, Goody, watch! Watch!

Uh, let me have the special.

Two more specials.

You look really pretty this mornin'.

What'll it be?

You and me.

Listen, T.C., I got no time... Okay.

What's the special today? Ribs and wings.

What kinda wings?

Chicken wings!

I've always been a breast and thigh man myself.

Hey, Mona, why you so cold to me?

I went out with you once, didn't I?

Yeah, but what's that got... Get your hand off o' me.

What about tonight?

T.C., it's just not in the cards for you and me.

Why?

Because you got no money, no future, and no class, and I'm not going out with niggers with no class anymore.

COOK: Pick up two.

Well, what about Chinese? We got class?

(LAUGHS) Uh-oh.

(MAKING BUZZING SOUNDS)

Wanna get outta the car, Harold?

(MURMURING)

Okay, okay.

May I? (MURMURING)

(MURMURING)

MAN ON RADIO: It's a mellow afternoon, and I know you're out there groovin', you're funin' and sunin' with your brother Rod McGrew on the big KGYS, playin' the sounds that you want to hear on your Soul Support Station

in greater Los Angeles.

Dad, let's rap.

It's very important that you and I rap.

Ray Hoenig almost choked to death the other day.

He was eating a chicken sandwich when his son decided, at that moment, to tell him he's a homosexual.

Got a piece of chicken caught right here.

So, please talk later.

That's cool.

Irwin, Irwin?

(CLEARS THROAT) You're not a homosexual, are you?

Not yet.

(COUGHING)

Can I help you, honey?

Uh, yeah. You haven't by any chance seen a small, blonde, black chick around here, have you?

No.

Buck, look at that. Oh, shit.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

Get goin', get goin', get goin'.

You think it's the Invisible Man? (LAUGHS) Come on, man...

...don't make me crack up. Look, look, look! (LAUGHS)

Hey, baby, how you doing? (MUTTERS)

Good, I'm glad to hear that.

What happened to you, man? (MUTTERS)

Yeah? (MUTTERS)

That's some tough shit, man.

Oh, my God, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

CHUCO: Hey, watch out, Goody!

(MUTTERING)

T.C.: Hey, man!

Look here, I don't know what, I don't know what you all...

(BABBLING)

Say, Goody, you know you almost got my hair wet, man.

My stuff ain't straight like yours, it takes time!

(MAKING BUZZING SOUNDS)

Come on. No, man.

That brother don't know who he's messin' with, man!

Come on, now, forget it. He didn't mean nothin'.

No, that cat's lucky, Jack. He don't know how close he was.

I am the Fly! Let me go! Hey!

(MAKES BUZZING SOUNDS)

T.C.: Cat got that straight hair. Shoot, my hair takes time to get together, you know? You know what I'm talkin' about? Shoot!

What'd Chuco do to that cat, anyway?

JUSTIN: I don't know, you know, he did somethin' with Goody's ears, uh...

(T.C. LAUGHS)

MAN ON RADIO: Yeah, that was nice, and really, really smokin'.

Here's a new tune called, Zigzag.

Let's see if this goody is hot enough for you.

(MUTTERING)

You hungry, Harold? (MUTTERS)

You want Chinese or Italian? (MUTTERS)

Italian.

Hey, peace treaty, man.

Yeah. All right?

Hey, man, I didn't know that Marsha was gonna do that.

Oh, I'm sorry, man.

I understand. You know, just like the other time with that wet towel? Yeah.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hey, man, loan me some soda.

Hey, that's the truth, that little ol' man.

Oh, hey, all right.

What was that in that car? That, that funny looking...

Hey, what? (YELLING)

(LAUGHING)


Hello, Lonnie.

Hey, man, what the hell are you doin' here?

Oh, it's part of our policy, from time to time, to visit our men at their place of employment.

Man, I report every month just like I'm supposed to.

You ain't got to keep checkin' on me.

It's just part o' my job.

What's the matter, you think I'm lyin' to you?

Oh, no, Lonnie... You think I ain't workin' here no more?

You think... Now, Lonnie, please.

I ain't embarrassed. I served my time.

I check in every month, I keep my job, washin' the god damn cars, now, how the hell come you can't leave me alone?

Like I said, I'm just doin' my job.

Well, I'm just doin' mine, and I can't afford to lose it, so don't you come around here no more, you understand? Huh?

(PLAYING)


ANNOUNCER: It's time for... VOICE: Disco Dance.

Ooh!

ANNOUNCER: Your lucky number is 5-5-5 KGYS. T.C.: Oh, no, no, no, no!

Tell me the name of the tune and you got it. T.C.: Not now, please, lady.

This is an emergency! Please, lady, excuse me!

I... I have to get in. This is an emergency! Please!

Hey, lady, I don't have... My family is dyin', they're all chokin', and I'm the only one who can help them!

I'm the only... Lady...

Come on, lady. Lady, listen to me. Don't ignore me!

Hey, listen to me, I gotta make this call.

Lady, please, I'm just beggin'! Just one minute, please.

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

¶ I'm goin' down

¶ I'm goin' down

¶ 'Cause you ain't around, Baby

¶ My whole world stopped ¶

Hello, uh, is Joe there?

Joe.

You ain't got no Joe?

Is this 555-5330?

Well, this is the number he gave me.

No.

Okay. Bye.


(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(MR. B. HUMMING)

Don't they ever get sick of it? You'd think just once, just, just once, they'd wanna hear a Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, huh?

Well, it's your place, play what you want.

You think so, huh? Just watch this, huh?

(SWITCHES RADIO STATION)

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL YELLING)

That's funny, huh? Huh?

Very funny. Very funny.

Well, just forget it, I'm not goin' back to school.

Justin, would you please listen...

Now, whatcha mean, "Justin, please?"

I done listened to you and my folks long enough now.

What do I have to show for it? Nothin'.

I'm gonna get me a real job, makin' me some real money, you know?

Like the job that was offered to me? Huh?

Hey, listen, we can, we can get married, do you know?

We can do all the things that we wanted to do, you know?

We... We don't have to do no more waitin'.

That's all I'm sayin'.

I understand what you're sayin', but...

CHUCO: Hey, Justin! Hey, Justin!

That's it! I am not goin' back to school!

Then we're not gettin' married.

Say what? I said, no college, no marriage.

Hey, now, you talkin' crazy, Loretta. No, I'm not talkin' crazy, you are talkin' crazy!

(CHUCO WHISTLES)

Hey, I gotta go back to work. We'll just talk about this later, okay?

No, you forget about talkin' to me, sweetheart, ever!

Goodbye, Justin!

What did you mean, "Goodbye, Justin"? You heard me. Goodbye!

ON RADIO: (CHORAL) ¶ KGYS

¶ Radio, radio, radio, radio ¶

MAN: Will you close the door, Hippo? Oh, okay.

Hey, Irwin, come here for a minute, man.

Look here, I got a real bad stomach ache.

Man, why don't you take my place for a while while I go to the bathroom, huh? Oh.

I appreciate it, Jack. Yeah, sure.


FIRST VOICE: Talk is cheap. SECOND VOICE: That's right, honey.

That is what is meant by, "A fall into the pit

"is a gain in your wit."

Irwin, who did you say said all that?

Mao, man. Mao Tse Tung.

He's the head dude o' all the Red Chinese.

Is he anything like Bruce Lee? Bru...

It's real hot, ain't it? Uh-huh.

(SIGHS)

Oh, hot.

Ooh, hot.

If you wanna feel somethin' hot, you oughta put your hand on this beer.

Hmm.

Marsha!

Will you please stop? I mean, this is a place of business, huh?

I dropped my contact lens in the cold cream.

My brother told me not to go into this business. Parking lots, he says.

I told him he was crazy!

Now he can buy and sell me.

Enough!

Geronimo, man, I gotta win that radio contest.

I get them tickets, boy, I take Mona out tonight.

Boy, I'll be over, you know?

Wooo, she's so fine. Mmm!

Man, I got down on her, can you believe that?

Can you believe that, man, I ever tell you?

Every day.

And to overthrow the reactionary ruling classes...

And therefore, impossible for the people to win power.

That's from Hibbett, page 150. Hibbett?

Heavy rhetoric, little boss.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Duane? I mean...

I mean, Abdullah.

You know what I'm talkin' about, right?

I mean, you know where I'm comin' from.

Revolution is the anti... You wanna pick my brain, right?

Right. I'm gonna let you.

You know, that Revolution you keep talkin' about all the time?

Uh, when it happens, and it's gonna happen, then you're gonna be workin' here for real, and not just playing around, splashin' in the water. Do you understand?

We get a chance to run your white ass, and you all get a chance to sing We Shall Overcome in Chinese.

GROUP: Hey, hey, man!

That's not what I meant.

I'm so tired of you runnin' off at your mouth, it's gettin' me down, honey.

Why don't you just leave?

And be an assassin.

'Cause the only thing you're good at shootin' off is your big mouth!

Would you please get outta my face, you sorry lookin' faggot?

(GROUP LAUGHING) Who you callin' sorry lookin'?

(LAUGHING)

Can't you all see that she ain't funny?

She's just another poor example of how the System has of destroyin' our men.

Honey, I am more man than you'll ever be, and more woman than you'll ever get.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN ON RADIO: KGYS news update.

Here in Los Angeles, the mysterious pop bottle bomber is still at large

after exploding his latest bomb in Anaheim. Take over for me.

A psychological profile released by the police department

pictures the bomber as a short, eccentric, middle European man

with an unhappy childhood.

More on this fast breaking story later on KGYS News.

Hi, there, sir. Good morning.

Look, can I interest you in a hot wax for your car?

We shampoo rugs. We even got regular wax! Yes, yes, anything!

Are you quite through with this, sir? Oh, yeah.

Look, here, here, take care of the car.

Boy, there's been some weird people in here today!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, uh, pardon me, lady. Pardon me.

You didn't by any chance see a tall, blonde, black girl, did you?


T.C., T.C.! Come 'ere!

I'm serious, man!

T.C.!

What is it, Hippo?

T.C., come 'ere!

What is it, Hippo? See that cat down there?

Yeah? Do you know what he got in that bag?

Naw, I don't know. Uh...

A pop bottle.

You call me over here to tell me dat cat's got a pop bottle?

Wait, wait, wait, wait! A pop bottle with silver foil on the top.

So what?

So? So what? Look, just take a look at this! Look at that!

(MAKING BUZZING SOUNDS)

Just be cool, Hippo. Follow me, follow me!

You think he ain't gonna see you finger up against the wall like that man?

Come on, come on.

Uh, how you doin'? I like your hair, man. It's bad, it's bad!

It's him, Hippo! He's got the bomb!

We the next victim! He gonna blow us up!

T.C., what are we gonna do, man? What are we gonna do?

Quiet! This is a job for the Fly, Hippo!

(MAKING BUZZING SOUNDS)

You're worthless, man, I swear!

Two and a half gallons of gas. This a charge?

Yeah.

The, uh, the blue, uh...

Stop, thief! (SHRIEKS)

MAN: They took my bag!

(MUMBLING)

MAN 1: Hey, T.C., what's goin' on, man?

MAN: Get him! Get him!

It's a bomb! It's a bomb!

(GRUNTS)

MAN: Catch him!

My bag!

Oh, my bag!

Piss?

ALL: Piss?

Piss?

It's, it's piss.

Piss?

He broke my bag.

ALL: Piss?

I was just takin' that sample to the doctor.

It took me two days to go. You see, I had this operation, and the doctor...

I'll handle this. I'll handle it.

I was just takin' that sample to the doctor.

It took me two days to go. You see, I had this operation!

I'm terribly sorry, sir. But I... I'd like to replace it.

I mean, I can't replace it, but here, here's a little something to take care of everything, and... And the car wash, the car wash is on me.

How about my pants?

It'll all... It'll all be taken care of.

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

We'll find it. We'll find it. Why, why, why don't ya fix the wheel?

Listen, Earl, Earl, see that, that stuff is cleaned up.

Hey, fellas, hey, fellas, wash the cars, wash the ca...

Look, come with me, huh? Come with me?

You know who that was?

The pee bottle bomber.

I just don't understand white folks.

Hey, man, ain't that Sonny Fredricks over there?

Yeah. We got a little deal workin'.

Workin'?

Thought you wasn't hangin' out with him no more.

What's the matter, Lonnie, he ain't good enough for you?

I mean, he ain't good enough because he's an ex-con?

You forgettin' somethin', ain't ya?

I ain't forgettin' nothin'!

Well then, you just lay off me and my friends.

I mean, at least he didn't bust no head open on no gas station attendant!

Hey, don't push it, Abdullah!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Whatta you doin', Marsha? What?

Why, why are you closin' the door?

It's so noisy out here, Leon.

I thought it might disturb you.

Hey, hey, you're a sweet girl, Marsha.

With the gas, that's five-fifty.

What's your name?

Marsha.

Hi, I'm Kenny.

Hi.

Here's your change.

And here's your rain check.

You get a free car wash if it rains.

Well, what if it rains today?

Then come back tomorrow.

Well, what if I can't wait until tomorrow?

Let's say I come back tonight around 6:00?

Oh, well, it would be too late...

You couldn't get your car washed then.

Yeah, but let's say I was to come back at six, anyway?

Hey, come on, will you?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Hi, Mr. B.

Hey!

Hi, Abdullah!

Hey, little Lonnie, how you doin'?

Sister, hi! Hi, Dad.

Hey, how you doin'?

Hi, Daddy. Hey, baby, how's my girl?

Say, how's Mama? Okay.

Yeah? Dad, can I play the pinball?

Hey, how much homework you got today?

Not that much.

Aah, not that much.

You ain't even got no business over here this afternoon, huh, have you?

Daddy, look what I got.

Now, let's see. Hey!

Yeah, that's beautiful, baby.

Here's the car wash, and there's you.

That's really nice, baby.

I drew it for you.

For me? Aaah, thank you, baby. That's my girl.

BOY: Come on, Dad, let me go play pinball!

(HESITATING)

Now, you got more responsibilities than playin' pinball, Son.

You just take your sister home and get your homework done, okay?

Okay. Do it. I'll be home later.

Oh, and, uh, watch out for the traffic at the corners.

Bye. See you later.

Bye, Dad. Thank you for the drawing, baby. 'Bye.

Do you own a Cadillac with the license plate YNL 877?

I sure do. You're under arrest. Turn around, please.

For what, man? You have over

37 parking violations you haven't paid.

Oh, man, I gave my sister-in-law the money this morning to pay it all.

Is there any other way we can straighten this out, Officer?

Look, man, I gave a certified check, man.

I would'a brought it myself, but I hadda go to work, man!

Tell it to the judge. Look, wait a minute, man, I would'a brought the check myself, man, but I hadda go to work.

Hey, Slide, you going to the slammer?

Hey, hey, look, call my sister at the May Company.

Better not look in his locker...

See you on visitin' day, Slide!

Hey, call my sister at the May Company.

Hey, Slide, guess this means all debts are canceled.

No, it don't!

Get back to work. Come on, wash cars!

Wa... Wash the cars.

Call 'er!

Wash the cars, huh.

(STUTTERING) What's the number of the May Company, huh?

Which one? Look, I don't know. Any one.

Calvin, will you come on?

I gotta go home now, turkey. See you tomorrow.

Don't do us no favors, honey.

Go to the Bluebird Car Wash and give 'em your business.

(TIRES SCREECHING) Calvin!

Calvin!

Hey, Calvin, Calvin! You okay?

Yeah! I made you look! I made you look!

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

MAN: You little creep! Boy, why don't you look where you're goin'?

Owww! (LAUGHING)

MAN: Do it!

MAN 2: Pipsqueak got it that time. He needed it, too.

MAN 3: Oh, it's a pain in the ass!

Oh, Mr. B., I forgot my money.

What money!

Hey, you firin' me? How much you get?

Uh, let's go inside. We'll talk inside.

I don't need your stinkin' office! Now, you fire me right here!

Look, I warned you. Y... You were out yesterday, twice last week.

Look, I need someone relia... Now, I'm warnin' you, you understand me?

I'm gonna burn this place to the...

You think I need your stinkin' slave job?

You think you gonna be the boss?

You ain't! And I'm gonna get you for this!

Now, I'm warnin' you! You understand me?

Now, look, look, everybody, back to work. I'm gonna get you!

Look, I'm sorry, Duane.

My name is Abdullah, you...

GROUP: All right, all right!

Hey, come on, man. Come on, now.

Hey, don't grab a brother.

Sorry. What the hell you sorry about?

Come on, now!

It's all right.

Come on. Watch your... You watch your ass, nigger.

You... You watch yourself. Understand me? Come on.

GERONIMO: Take it easy, man. You watch yourself!

It's all right. Come on, man.

Where's the aspirin, Marsha?

It's in your drawer.

Mr. B., about Abdullah.

I mean, I'm sorry about Abdullah. I mean, he's really wired up, you know?

Wish you'd think about givin' him another chance.

I've given him a thousand chances.

Oh, but, Mr. B., the man is just confused, you know?

He really, uh... Lonnie, now is not the time, huh? Please?

Mr. B., every week I keep trying to talk to you.

And every week, you keep tellin' me, "Now is not the time."

I've been workin' for you for over a year now, when is it gonna be time?

Uh, I don't wanna talk to you about Duane, huh?

All right, let's don't talk about Duane, let's talk about me.

I got to have more money, Mr. B.

I can't make it on what you payin' me. I got two children.

Look, Lonnie, that, that Bluebird Car Wash, they're driving me outta business.

Mr. B., I keep tryin' to tell you, you got a big lot here.

If you organize this thing right, you can be makin' twice as much.

Lonnie, uh, look, I know you got ideas.

You... You got ideas.

Look, don't I always pay you extra for opening and closing, huh?

Damn.


ANNOUNCER: All right, out there, it's time

to get back in the music groove.

But first... VOICE: Disco Dance.

Ooh!

ANNOUNCER: You heard it. It's the Disco Dance at Five-five-five KGYS.

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Ooh!

ANNOUNCER: You'll get those last two free tickets to J.B.'s Disco Dance.

Come on, man. Please, answer it, answer it.

Answer, brother, come on.

Born to Love You. The answer is Born to Love You.

Ooh! Ooh! Yeah!

Oh, oh, hey, uh, uh, my name is Theodore Chauncey Elcott, man.

I work at the Dee-Luxe Car Wash. Now, dig it, man.

I'm gonna be there after work. I get off at six to pick up the tickets, is that cool?

Oh, all right, beautiful, beautiful, man. Yeah. Ooh!

Woo! Woo!

Woo, woo!

ANNOUNCER: We got a winner at the Dee-Luxe Car Wash

(CHEERING) at Sixth and Rampart in greater Los Angeles.

His name is Theodore Chauncey Elcott... ALL: Theodore Chauncey Elcott!

...and he's gonna get down tonight.

T.C. gotta stand for somethin', don't it?

Well, I always thought T.C. stood for Tough Chit!

(ALL LAUGHING)

I'm gonna try to get away later.

Uh, you gonna be home?

Uh, no, Leon.

I'm going to visit my sister tonight.

Well, maybe tomorrow night, huh?

Yeah, maybe.

Watch it, Marsha!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, you guys.

Uh...

I just wanna say it's been really far out hangin' out with you guys.

I mean...

Hey, it's been nice hangin' out with you, too, man.

You know? Good luck, man.

Yeah, come back some time. Good luck!

Oh, Lonnie. (SIGHS)

Lonnie, I didn't know where you were.

Uh, Lonnie, uh, we'll talk about all that stuff tomorrow.

Lonnie, tomorrow we sit down, we talk about all the things on your mind.

You got my word. (SIGHS)

I promise.


Hey, Scruggy, you gotta help me pick the ninth race, huh?

Charlene!

Hey, I told you, man! I told you!

I was just gonna call you!

Charlene...

What's this? Hey, Charlene, what's the...

Charlene, whatta you doin'? Charlene!

Later, brother. Listen, I was gonna call you!

I didn't mean to stay out last night! Yes, you worked late!

Charlene! Hey, Charlene!

ANNOUNCER: It's one minute before the hour of 6:00 P.M.

News and weather, and then weekend music, stay with us.

(CHORAL) ¶ KGYS

¶ Radio, radio, radio, radio... ¶ Loretta gonna come pick you up?

Did you get everything straight?

Yeah, everything's straight. She's coming.

Hey, you all, it's quittin' time!

Naw, naw, naw, naw. I'm the boss around here.

ALL: I get to say when it's quittin' time!

Well? GOODY, GERONIMO AND CHUCO: It's quittin' time!

(CHEERING)

(ALL TALKING)

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now for our next impression, we'd like to do... James Brown!

Brothers! I'm tired! But I be clean!

(LAUGHING)

Put some here!

Hey, damn it, who's got my Swahili Sheen?

Nigger, you know you got my Swahili Sheen.

No, no, no, I don't! I don't have...

Man, why you always hassle me? You know I got a date!

Oh, come on, man, don't I always come to see your raggedy act, man?

Come on! Come on, brother!

Aha! The Fly flies again!

Yeah, uh, triumphant after the Pop Bottle Bomber.

It's a bomb, it's a bomb, it's a bomb, it's a bomb, it's a bomb, it's a bomb!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! You cats are just jealous

'cause I got the tickets to the concert tonight.

Yeah, well, uh, too bad you're goin' alone, though.

(FLOYD AND LLOYD LAUGHING)

Here, honey... Okay.

...I'll show you how. Woo! (LAUGHING)

We see who you takin' out tonight.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, brother, where's your radio, man?

I ain't never seen you without your box!

I, uh, broke it.

(CHUCKLES) What'd you do, sit on it?

(LAUGHS) Sit on it, yeah!

MAN: Hey, come on, Charlie, let's hurry it up, man!

Hey, Lonnie, you want a ride?

Ah, no, thanks, Charlie. I... I gotta close up.

We'll wait for you. Naw, that's all right, thanks.

Try not to leave the locker room too messy.

Aw, will you listen to this? GROUP: Yeah, yeah!

FLOYD AND LLOYD: ¶ Ding dong, fool is gone ding dong, the fool is gone ¶

Aha, 'spect to see you people on the Soul Train!

GOODY: Good luck. CHARLIE: Good luck.

FLOYD: Thank you, Charlie. Thank you.

Hey, man, come on.

(EXCITEDLY) I got a date!

Uh, you go ahead. I'll check out the register.

Oh, Lonnie, thank you. Oh, thank you.

(HORN HONKING)

Bye.

ON RADIO: ¶ Bye, bye... ¶


(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

You clean it up. (LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Hey, hey!

Don't I get any congratulations, girl?

I'm the big winner! And the whole city knows it. Can you get to that, my love?

I won the tickets to the concert tonight, I'm gonna go pick 'em up in a few minutes.

Look, T.C., I'm tired, and I'm busy!

And I've had a date...

Now, you listen to me.

You wait for some high class prince to come in here and sweep you off your feet, that's not gonna happen. I am your prince.

Don't no one dig you as much as I do. You know that.

But if you don't get yourself together and start treatin' me different, I'm not comin' around here anymore.

And if you don't wanna go out with me tonight, I'll just get me somebody who will.

T.C.?

What?

I'm gonna be through in an hour. Come back then?

All right. That's what the kid wanted to hear, baby.

The Fly...

Flies again!


Bye.

Here's the bus.

(CAR HONKING)

Loretta... Listen, I've been thinking...

JUSTIN: Mmm...

Let's not even talk about it. Okay?

We'll just sit down calmly next week, and discuss it.

No, 'cause I mean, I want you... Next week!

A deal?

A deal.

Hey, move over, I'm drivin' All right!

(JUSTIN LAUGHS)

JUSTIN: All right!


Hey, is somebody out there?


Oh, say, Abdullah, whatcha doin' here?

Hey, man, I'm glad you come back, though.

Look here, I'm gonna have a talk with Mr. B. in the mornin', straighten out that whole mess.

I didn't come here to talk, Lonnie.

I came for the money.

Abdullah, you'll have to use that piece.

I am, huh?

I forgot you was a house nigger for Mr. B protectin' him this afternoon, and now you're protectin' his money!

Come on, man, I don't give a shit about Mr. B.'s money, I'm protectin' you!

That's chump change, man!

Whatcha gonna do with it? You gonna buy you a revolution?

You gonna solve all your problems?

Will you just give me the money, man?

You and I both know that the jails are full o' thousands of young men just like you.

Is that what you really want?

Come on, man, gimme the gun.

I don't wanna kill you, Lonnie.

Abdullah, you don't have to...

Gimme the gun, man.

Come on.

Come on, man.

Huh?

Man, don't make me.

Gimme the gun.

Abdullah.

Aw, shit.

Come on. It's all fallin' apart, man.

Hey, come on.

It's all fallin' apart.

Yeah, it's all right.

I know. It's all fallin' apart.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know just how you feel, man.

I don't know, man. I don't know.

I know I'm not crazy.

But every day, I have to come here, watch this clown show, man.

Sometimes... (INHALING DEEPLY)

I just can't take it.

I know.

I know.

(SNIFFS)

Hey, look, hey, it's gonna be all right.

Okay? We'll work it out... Together.

Huh?

(SNIFFS)

ANNOUNCER: All right! This is J.J. Jackson, the prince of darkness, coming to you in the night time, 'cause you know it's the right time.

Starting with the best, the number one sound in the West.

Car Wash.

Dig the players on this session.

Blowin' on steam guns, Floyd and Lloyd.

Darrow Igus...

And De Wayne Jessie.

Suckin' it up on the vacuum, Hippo!

James Spinks.

Lindy, Antonio Fargas.

Dig the Pointer Sisters and Daddy Rich, Mister Richard Pryor.

The taxi driver is George Carlin.

On the shoes, Clarence Muse.

T.C. is Franklyn Ajaye.

And Mona's somethin' else.

She's Tracy Reed.

(MAKES BUZZING SOUND)

Duane, uh, I, I mean, Abdullah, is Bill Duke.

Lonnie, Ivan Dixon.

On the bottle, Henry Kingi. On burrito, Pepe Serna.

Geronimo is Ray Vitte. Scruggs, Jack Kehoe.

The man with the mummy, that's Garrett Morris.

Justin and Loretta, Leon Pickney and Ren Woods.

On the outside, Miz Beverly Hills, Lorraine Gary.

On the inside, Lauren Jones.

From left to right, Leonard Jackson, Sully Boyar, and Professor Irwin Corey.

The head on the head, Richard Brestoff.

On make-up, Melanie Mayron.

Arthur French is Charlie.

And on skateboard, Michael Fennell.

MAN: All right, get down!

¶ Car wash Talkin' 'bout the car wash

¶ Car wash, yeah

¶ Come on, y'all, and sing it with me

¶ Car wash

¶ Sing it with feelin', y'all

¶ Car wash, yeah

¶ Ooo, ooo, ooo, oooh Car wash

¶ Those cars never seem to stop comin'

¶ Well, I say keep those rags and machines hummin'

¶ Car wash Let me tell you it's always cool

¶ And the boss don't mind sometimes

¶ If you act the fool at the Car wash

¶ Working at the car wash, yeah

¶ Yeah yeah yeah Car wash

¶ Car wash, yeah

¶ Car wash ¶