Carefree (1938) Script

Can I help you, sir?

Yes, just help me steady this thing.

Thank you.

Oh, could you give me a little information?

Yes, sir. Thank you.

Don't wait up for me.

Please call me when we get to the 18th floor.

Eighteenth floor, sir.

Thank you so much.

If you run into my stomach on the way down...

...kindly have it sent up.

Mr. Arden. Where's Tony Flagg? I wanna see him.

Well, come in here, please.

Dr. Flagg's busy right now, but pipe down and I'll take you.

Well, how do you feel now?

I'm not drunk anymore, Tony. I'm just dizzy.

All right, we'll unwind you.

Say, Steve, when I went to Switzerland you never drank like this.

How long have you been tight?

Three days: Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Because this Amanda What's-Her-Name broke her engagement to you?

Yeah, for the third time. What happened the other two times?

I got stiff.

I hope she changes her mind before you get DTs.

That's why I came to see you, about her.

You came to the right man. He's straightened out some pips.

We had a dame here yesterday who was in love with her feet.

Sorry, Steve, I'm no marriage broker.

Now, this Amanda What's-Her-Name...

Stop calling her What's-Her-Name. Her name's Cooper, Amanda Cooper.

I don't care what her name is. To me, she's another maladjusted woman.

She's in perfect order. She's beautiful, Tony.

That has nothing to do with it either.

Perhaps she's merely trying to escape reality.

Escape what reality?

In this case, you. What do you...?

We all try to escape reality.

We all wanna be something entirely different than we really are.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a fireman. Sure. I wanted to be a cop.

Remember when we were in college how stage-struck I was?

I wanted to be a dancer.

Psychoanalysis showed me I was wrong.

It's the one way we have of finding out what we really want and why we want it.

I wanna marry Amanda, and I know why.

Perhaps if I psychoanalyze you, you won't wanna marry Amanda.

Well, I don't wanna not wanna marry Amanda.

Easy, Mr. Arden. You don't have to say everything twice.

What do you want? I wanna marry Amanda.

I guess he wants to marry What's-Her-Name, all right.

Tony, you've just got to see her.

Why not, doc? She might turn out to be a very interesting nut.

Maybe this Amanda What's-Her-Name...


Maybe she prefers staying on the stage to marrying you.

No, no, no. She wants to marry me.

Why does she keep breaking off the engagement?

She doesn't know. She says it's not my fault, it's hers.

At least see her. Maybe you can figure out what the trouble is.

Well, how do you know she's willing to be psychoanalyzed?

Oh, she will if I ask her to.

All right. Tell her to come to my office tomorrow morning at 11:00.

Now, what's her name?

Amanda What's-Her-Name.

Cooper. Yeah.

Memo to Dr. Jones. Case history 3442, Mrs. Mamie Fletcher.

Dr. Jones, I am turning this case over to you for further treatment.

My observations are as follows:

She's a typical pampered female. What she needs, instead of a doctor... a good spanking. However...

Yes, Dr. Powers. Dr. Flagg...

...can you come to my laboratory, please?

There's a Miss Cooper waiting for me.

She's another one of those dizzy, silly, maladjusted females...

...who can't make up her mind. I'll probably find out she hasn't got one.

I just need you for a moment. All right, I'll be right out.

How do you do, Miss Cooper?

I am Miss Cooper.

Well, won't you come in, please?

Thank you, doctor.

I've been looking forward with so much pleasure to this meeting.

I'm sorry, I have to leave you, but if you'll make yourself comfortable...

...I'll be back, and we can have a nice visit.

Well, I'm certain I'm going to enjoy it. Steve thinks so much of you.

Steve's a fine chap. Yes, indeed.

And very lucky too.

Excuse me.

Memo to Dr. Jones. Case history 3442, Mrs. Mamie Fletcher.

Dr. Jones, I am turning this case over to you for further treatment.

My observations are as follows: She's a typical pampered female.

What she needs, instead of a doctor, is a good spanking. However...

Yes, Dr. Powers.

Dr. Flagg, will you come to my laboratory, please?

There's a Miss Cooper waiting outside for me.

She's another one of those dizzy, silly, maladjusted females...

... who can't make up her mind. I'll probably find out she hasn't got one.

I don't wanna be disturbed, Miss Adams.

Now there'll be no more disturbances...

...and we can have that nice, friendly little chat.

Won't you sit down?

Oh, that's my chair.

Very comfortable.

But I'd planned for you to sit here. I want you to be relaxed.

I'm perfectly relaxed. Perhaps you'd better sit there.

Are you always this nervous?

No. Only I usually sit in that chair.

Well, I won't be here very long, and then you can sit in it.

Oh, now... Now, Miss Cooper, first let's get to know each other.


I have to know your mind as well as I know my own.


Miss Cooper, you understand the principle of psychoanalysis, don't you?


Well, you do know that you have two minds: The conscious and the subconscious.


The conscious mind is the ego.

That's the thing that says, "I am I, and you are you."

Mine never said that.

Let me put it this way, then.

Back here is a jungle full of the most noble and horrible things.

I don't doubt that.

That's your subconscious mind.

It works all the time, even when you sleep.

It dreams. It never forgets anything.

Is that so?

Your conscious mind lies here. It doesn't dream, it thinks.

Now, what we strive for is perfect coordination between the two.

Do you understand?

No. And I don't believe I care to.

At first I wasn't sure I wanted to be psychoanalyzed.

And now I'm positive I don't.

Now, you mustn't put a wall between us, Miss Cooper.

To psychoanalyze you, I must interpret your dreams.

What sort of things do you dream?

I don't dream.

Oh, come, now. Everybody dreams. I don't.

I wish you'd please understand that I'm only trying to help you find yourself.

Well, if I ever get lost, I'll call on you.

Attention, everybody. Having tied on the shoot-off, Judge Travers and Mr. Arden...

... have decided to break the tie by a miss-and-out event at single bird.


Lost bird. Too bad, Stephen.

You've been shooting as if you'd been on a bender.

I feel as if I had been.

Nice shooting.

Tony, what did you do to Amanda?

What did I do?

Oh, I'm sorry. I want you to meet Amanda's Aunt Cora. Dr. Flagg.

How do you do? Amanda's furious with you.

What happened? She wouldn't tell me.

She's a very curious case.

At first, she was sweet and charming...

...then, for no reason at all, she became argumentative.

You should hear what she thinks about you.

What? She thinks you're a quack.

Oh, she does?


Very good. Very good, Your Honor. Your shooting was superb, Your Honor.

Thank you. You're welcome.

His Honor Judge Travers, Dr. Flagg.

Judge Travers. How do you do?

Well, I beat you today, Stephen. That makes us even-steven.

Well, just wait for the finals.

How'd you like my exhibition, Cora? Pretty good, Joe, I guess.

Pretty good? It was pretty perfect.

If you could only play bridge the way you play scat.

It's skeet, and besides, you don't play it.

That's what I mean, Joe. You don't play bridge either.

You're getting terrific lengths with your drives, Dr. Flagg.

Thank you, Mr. MacPherson. You're very, very encouraging.

It's about time, Mac.

Quack. Have you any suggestions?

Maybe you were hitting it with your subconscious mind.

You know, the one that dreams.

Smack it once with your conscious.

It'll go when I hit it.

What happened to that theory of coordination you were hot about?

Doing several things at the same time. Oh, that.

Murph, set them up.

What's the matter, Aunt Cora? Did you lose something?

Not that I know of. Why?

You keep looking back all the time.

Oh, I was looking for that Dr. Quack.


Is he coming, Steve?

It seems silly to keep it a secret.

He said he wanted to psychoanalyze you on your bicycle.

Oh, so that's why we came.

I wouldn't mind being analyzed by him on my bicycle.

Or on anything, come to think of it.

Well, well, what luck.

None. Well, Tony, what a pleasant surprise.

Steve, can't you see that Dr. Flagg wants to ride with me alone?

Oh, sorry, Tony.

Want to drop back here with me, Aunt Cora?

All right, if you don't try to amuse me.


Will you please tell me something?

Why were you suddenly so unfriendly yesterday?

Quote, " Just another one of those dizzy, silly, maladjusted females...

...who can't make up her mind," unquote.

Well, of course, that was before I met you.

Well, I can forgive you for saying I have no mind...

...but I'm afraid maybe you're right about my being maladjusted.

We're never really afraid of anything we understand.

That sounds as if it makes sense.

Of course, if we know the reason for most fears, we can dispel them.

Very often, fear is just a simple phobia:

Afraid of darkness, afraid of great heights...

...afraid of marriage.

You better put on your brakes, doctor. What?

It's getting steep.

Hey, look out.

Take it easy, doctor.

I can't.

Now, don't show off.

I'm not, my chain's broken.

Please, Miss Cooper, look out.

Doctor, are you all right?

Yes, I guess so.

You win.

Shall you order now, Mr. Arden? No.

We'll wait for Miss Cooper and Dr. Flagg. Very good, sir.

Is this one of your silent treatments, doctor?

Trying to think of some mental prescription that might induce dreams.

Here we go again.

I hate to be persistent, but I'm trying to help you and Steve.

And I have to dream?

Well, it would simplify matters, and it's possible to make you dream.

Well, I'll try anything, if you can guarantee the dream.


I imagine women find Dr. Flagg very charming, especially girls.

Why, Tony's a doctor. Amanda's only his patient.

He's all wrapped up in his work, isn't he?

Then you'll eat whatever I order?

To paraphrase, doctor, you're the doctor.

Behold the guinea pig.

Aunt Cora, Steve, I'm on a diet to dream.

How marvelous. Who's the lucky man?

Miss Cooper is going to dream tonight by eating dream-provoking foods.

Tomorrow I'll explain her dream to her.

I'd eat anything if I thought it would make my dreams come true.

May I recommend the filet mignon smothered with mushrooms.

No, thank you. Miss Cooper would prefer a seafood cocktail.

Seafood cocktail. With whipped cream.

Seafood cocktail with whipped cream?

But not too much whipped cream, just a soupçon.

Soupçon. Next, I'd like a largish Welsh rarebit.

Instead of the seafood cocktail with whipped cream?


You mean, madame, she wishes to eat them both?

Yes. Double up on the cheese.

I know something that tastes perfectly vile. Good, what is it?

Lobster with gobs of mayonnaise.

Wonderful. Oh, yes.

Instead of the Welsh rarebit...

...and seafood cocktail with whipped cream?

No, all of them. That lobster sounds wonderful.

Bring me an order of that.

Pardon, madame, but that all makes a very bad combination.

Yes, I know.

Now all you need is a good, solid dessert.

May I suggest cucumbers and buttermilk.

Yes. Wonderful.

And a side order of strawberry shortcake.

Have you got all that? Yes.

Seafood cocktail with whipped cream.

A largish Welsh rarebit.

Lobster with gobs of mayonnaise.

Cucumbers and buttermilk.

I think I better go home and go to bed, Amanda.

Oh, no, the fun's just beginning.

Mine got near the end when you ate that second Welsh rarebit.

Please, let's forget the experiment. Don't you feel sleepy, Miss Cooper?

Never felt better in my life.

In fact, now I'm sorry I had to pass up that second lobster.

Oh, Amanda, please.

Are you sure you're not sleepy?

Not a bit. I'll go mix you some drinks.

Well, as long as your niece feels so well...

...and Steve is obviously not so good, I think I'd better see him home.

Good night, Miss Cooper.

Good night.

Come on, there's nothing really wrong with you.

It's all in your mind. Think you're all right and you'll be all right.

Oh, but those cucumbers and buttermilk...

...and lobsters and strawberry shortca...

See what I mean?

Oh, doctor, here's the sedative you asked me to bring over.

Connors, you better go in there, give Miss Cooper a teaspoonful.

It's very important. Make her take it. Miss Cooper, yes, sir.

Steve, maybe we better walk down.

Are you Miss Cooper? Yes.

Dr. Flagg sent me to take care of you.

Well, how nice of Dr. Flagg.

Come in.

What does he think should be done?

Well, I'm gonna give you something that'll relax you completely.

Sit down.

Perhaps we'd better talk this over first.

Now, first, I want you to have confidence in me.

I have a feeling I'm going to have complete confidence in you.

Well, that's just fine.

I'm so glad you're a friend of Dr. Flagg's.

I have no confidence in strangers.

Dr. Flagg is a remarkable man.

Dr. Flagg always knows what's best.

I can believe that.


I want you to take just a little sip of this.

All right. What is it?

It... It'll help relax you.

All right, but I'm not at all nervous.

Now, go right in and go to bed.

Cocktail with whipped cream.

A good, solid dessert.

Cucumbers and buttermilk.

Gobs of mayonnaise. Strawberry shortcake.

Strange how a dreary world Can suddenly change To a world as bright As the evening star Queer what a difference When your vision is clear And you see things as they really are

I used to be colorblind But I met you And now I find There's green in the grass There's gold in the moon There's blue in the sky That semicircle That was always hanging about Is not a storm cloud It's a rainbow You brought the colors out Believe me, it's really true Till I met you I never knew a setting sun Could paint such beautiful skies I never knew There were such lovely colors And the big surprise Is the red in your cheeks The gold in your hair The blue in your eyes

Aunt Cora, do you believe in dreams?

Certainly. I had a humdinger last night. If it was a dream.

I had the loveliest time in mine. Everything happened.

I wasn't so lucky. Nothing happened.

Lobster? Breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I'm taking no chances.

I wanna pick up where I left off in my dream...

...if I can.

A big gob of mayonnaise. Mayonnaise?

Yes, for the lobster.

In my dream, I was with the most wonderful man.

Me too. It was so realistic.

He was all in white. Are you sure it was a dream?

Positive. Nothing like that ever happened to me in real life.

Wonder if it's possible to fall in love with a man you dream about.

Oh, I'm positive.

Come in.

Good morning. Good morning, Stephen.

Good morning, Amanda. How do you feel?

Marvelous. Did you sleep well?

Marvelous. Well, good.

I thought I'd drive you over to see Dr. Flagg.

Marvelous. Amanda... you realize you're being repetitious?

I hate to mention that awful food you both ate, but I was worried about you.

Just thinking about it kept me awake all night.



Tony, it happened. Congratulate us.

Did you get married? Not quite, but Amanda dreamed.

Well, Miss Cooper. So our little experiment worked.

Yes, doctor, marvelously.

Sit right down now, Amanda, and tell us all about it.

Steve, this is a matter between Miss Cooper and myself.

Why? We're all in on it. If there's anything I shouldn't know, I ought to know it now.

Women tell their doctors things they don't want anyone to hear.

I know, but I'm gonna be her husband. Especially husbands.

Now, Miss Cooper, tell me all about your dream.

Did you dream of anyone in particular? Yes.

Fine. Who was it?

Oh, I can't.

Now, Miss Cooper, don't think of me as anyone.

Just think of me as your doctor. You must have every confidence in me.

Oh, I have.

Then tell me all about it.

I can't.

Very well.

Thank you very much. That's all.

Well, doctor, when do you wanna see me again?

There's no point in seeing you again.

Oh, but you must. I mean...

Well, I'll recommend several other doctors to you.

And no doubt you'll find one in whom you'll have more confidence.

But I don't want another doctor.

Miss Cooper, I was persuaded by Steve to talk to you.

And from what I see, there's nothing very wrong with you.

Are you sure?

Compared to complex cases, which really need me...

Oh, what... Oh, well, then...

...I guess I'd better tell you my dream.

I've had it for 11 straight years.

Tell me about it.

Well, you've heard of Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf?

Yes, I have.

Well, that's what I dreamed about.

You dreamed you were Little Red Riding Hood?

No, I was the wolf.

What did you do?

I snarled.

And then l...

All of a sudden, I became Little Red Riding Hood...

...and then suddenly I was a lot of numbers.

Numbers? Yes, l... I was a radio dial.

Understandable. That's part of your profession, singing on the radio?

Yes. Yes, but you haven't heard it all yet.

It seemed that all night long, there were thousands of people...

...that kept turning me off and turning me on...

...turning me off and turning me on.

Half the time I was singing, and the other half I was advertising.

Then... Then there were voices. Voices, thousands of voices...

...and then they started to chase me, to persecute me.

Who? My persecutors.

Persecution complex. Yes.

And then... Then I was running away from them...

...and I was gaining miles ahead of them...

...when all of a sudden, I turned into a maple tree.

And then I took a shortcut across the stream.

And a huge fish raised itself out of the water and snapped at me.

It was a dogfish.

Then I looked behind me, and thousands... Thousands of squirrels...

...had jumped the river and like a pack of hungry wolves were rushing at me.

Oh, I was frantic. Yes.

They were coming closer. Yes.

They were on me from every side. Yes.

From the front. Yes.

From the back. Yes.

From all sides of me, their teeth snapping at me.

I couldn't escape. What happened?

They got me.

Please, could I have just a little water? Oh, yes, of course.

Yes, Dr. Flagg?

Dr. Powers, will you please come right over to my office.

Oh, thank you, doctor.

Are you all right? Yes, quite all right. Thank you, doctor.

Then if you'll excuse me, I'll just be a moment.

She's wonderful, Steve. Of course she is. I know that.

She's a mass of the most horrible neuroses and inhibitions I've come in contact with.

What's the matter with her? What is it, doctor?

I've run across the most beautiful case of complex maladjustments.

Where? In there, in my office.

This is one of the happiest days of my life.

What did you find, old chap? Vulpine complex.

Child psychosis, a classic example. No.

Yes. My congratulations, old chap. I envy you.

What's wrong with her? I'll find a million more.

She's untapped. She's got everything wrong with her.

You mean Amanda? Follow it through.

How long do you think it'll take? Years. Five, 10. We never know.

Will you assist me in my laboratory?

Delighted. I can hardly wait.

Mind telling me what's the matter with Miss Cooper?

Not at all. She sounds like a textbook case.

Well, how do we feel now?

A little tired, doctor.

But, oh, so relieved.

Now, there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

I know that, doctor, because I'm in your hands.

Good. Now, first, I'm gonna give you an anesthetic.

Well, what for?

It'll effect a temporary release of any inhibitions.

It's not a cure, but I can get an idea of what's wrong with you.

But is an anesthetic necessary?

It's the simplest way.

The effect will wear off in an hour or so.

And meanwhile I can talk to you.

If you want to talk to me, why put me to sleep?

I'm going to talk to your subconscious mind.

It never sleeps. But while under the influence of an anesthetic...

...we very often say things or do things we wouldn't under normal conditions.

Well, if you think it's all right.

It gives the doctor a clue to the patient's personality.

Dr. Powers, this is Miss Cooper, the young lady I just told you about.

This is a pleasure, a great pleasure.

I'll take your things.

Now, if you'll just lie here, Miss Cooper.

Try to make your mind a blank.

That'll be very easy for me to do, doctor.

Now, just relax.

You mustn't be nervous.

Breathe slowly.



That's fine.

Now, Miss Cooper, when you come out of this...

...I want you to do whatever you want to do...

...and say whatever you want to say.

For the time being, release yourself completely.

You will act wholly on the impulse of the moment.

That'll be all for now. We'll let her sleep a bit.

Come to my office and tell me all about it.

With pleasure. These unusual cases excite me so.

This waiting's awful.

Would you like a drink? Oh, I'd love one.

No, thanks.


Hold on. It's for you, Mr. Arden.

Hello? I mean, hello.

Yes, Aunt Cora.

Amanda? Yes, she's here.

Stop dawdling, both of you.

Tell Amanda to get to that broadcasting station.

All right, I'll get her there.





Amanda. Amanda.

Oh, Tony.

This isn't Tony, it's Steve.

Go away, Steve. Amanda, you haven't time to sleep now.

You have a broadcast in 10 minutes.

Oh, yes, I'm looking forward to that.

Amanda, come on.

All right, but don't rush me.

Oh, Steve, what's that?

Oh, Amanda.

Button, button.

Oh, boy! Oh, boy.

Oh, Amanda. Oh, Amanda.

Amanda, are you all right?

Simply marvelous. It's a present.

Very funny.

Good day.

Will you get us a cab, please? Yes, sir. Careful.

Taxi. Taxi.

Amalgamated Broadcasting Company.

Take Madison Avenue and hurry.

Steve, where's Miss Cooper? I don't know, she's gone.

She's under an anesthetic. What'd you take her away for?

She has a broadcast in 10 minutes. She's in no condition to broadcast.

She's not normal, might even act a little odd.


Thank you.

Oh, that's cute.

Do you mind if I try?


All right, here.

Now swing it.

Swing it. Like that. Swing it.

Amanda, darling, where have you been?

Don't you know we're on the air in 10 seconds?

Miss Cooper's script.

Miss Cooper's script. Miss Cooper's script.

Here. Here it is.

Nod to the sponsor, dear.

"The Sentela Toothpaste Hour presents its 'Melody Time'...

...starring Amanda Cooper."

Hello, you.

All of you.

"And a distinguished supporting cast.

This is Franklyn Harrison Jr...

...speaking on the Amalgamated Network for Sentela.

If you want a kissable mouth...

...all you have to do is use Sentela toothpaste.

It makes your teeth happy.

Now, before I hand Miss Cooper over to her million listeners...

...I want to give you some serious information about toothpaste.

If you really want to preserve your teeth..."

Use anything but Sentela.

Miss Cooper, you say the funniest things. Oh, thank you very much.

You're gonna be all right, Miss Cooper. Call me Amanda, Tony.

Miss Cooper.

I'm going to sue you for damages.

Don't worry about damages.

Mr. Arden will pay everything, won't you, Steve?

Why, yes. Amanda, what's happened?

Everything, darling. You should have been with me.

There you are, young lady.

Just a minute, officer. This young lady's my patient...

That doesn't give her a right to destroy private property.

Now, Mr. Arden will pay for any damage she's done. Won't you, Steve?


Are you sure she's all right?

I'll assume every responsibility for her actions.

Well, as long as everything's gonna be squared up...

...there's no reason to arrest her.

Thank you, officer.

Amanda, striking an officer is a very serious offense.

She didn't strike him, Joe, she kicked him. Yeah, and a beaut.

Aunt Cora, please.

I've already explained, judge, that it was largely my fault.

I'm beginning to gather that, Dr. Flagg.

Amanda, I've known you all your life.

There's nothing wrong with you.

My advice as a friend is to give up these treatments.

And my advice as a physician... Miss Cooper should continue the treatments.

My advice, Joe, is to call the whole silly thing off before everybody gets sore.

Cora, will you please recognize that this is an official enquiry?

Oh, all right, I recognize it. But it doesn't alter my opinion.

Dr. Flagg, it is not within my rights to prescribe your duties to you...

...but I can warn you that unless these experiments...

...are confined to your laboratory...

...I will hold you responsible for Miss Cooper's actions.

Have I made myself clear? Quite.

I'd like to know something, Joe.

Well? Wait a minute, Aunt Cora.

The judge has been very lenient. He's been a dear.

Just let it wait for another time, dear. Oh, all right, then.

Just wanted to ask if he'd have dinner with us tonight.

I'd be delighted.

There, you see?

Thank you.

Well, Steve, here's to you and Amanda.

Thanks. Here's hoping your treatments will be successful.

In my day, the women didn't have to ask their doctor when to get married.

You're a bachelor, judge? Yeah. Yeah.

Were you ever anxious to dance with a man you dreamed you danced with?

Don't be silly. I never dream about dancing.

Miss Cooper, Miss Cooper. I'll tell the gentlemen you're waiting.

Thank you, Henry.

Amanda, what in the world are you grinning at?

Don't tell anyone, but I'm in love.

Well, get the agony over and marry him.

He doesn't know it.

I think you're very nasty to say that, Amanda.

Steve isn't that dumb.

I'm in love with my doctor.

Cora, you invited me to dinner. Where is it?

Right over there.

You know, I'd like to dance right now.

Don't you think you ought to dance the first one with Steve?

You'd better let me have my own way, Dr. Flagg.

Just remember, Judge Travers is holding you responsible for my actions.

I'd be flattered to dance the second dance with you.

I'd like to find out who threw that. I'd give them 90 days.


Well, it'll take less time than 90 days.

Well, I was willing.

Oh, Lou, please do me a favor and play another number.

I will, if you will sing it.

All right.

Come on and hear the yam man cry Any yam today?

The sweet potato that he'll fry Will be yam today The little step that you'll see him do With every yam that he sells to you It's something that you ought to try Come and yam Yam Come on and yam today Come get what I've got It will hit the spot Get your sweet and hot yam Raise your hand and sway Like you hold a tray When you're on your way Yam Come on, shake your depression And let's have a yam session There's that long note One, two, three Yam Every orchestra in America Will be doing the Yam

I didn't come to do the Charleston I didn't come to ball the jack I didn't come to do the Suzy-Q Or do the bottom they call black I didn't come to do big apple I didn't come to do the shag Well, honey, here I am to do the yam Because the yam is in the bag

Funny that I should envy a man who should really envy me.

I mean, Tony.

I was really jealous, the way you two danced together.

Steve, I wanna talk to you about Tony.

What's the matter with him?

Nothing. I think he's wonderful.

You don't have to tell me about Tony. I've known him for years. Swell guy.

Yes, I know.

What I want to say, Steve, is since I've known Tony...

...I'm convinced for the first time that I'm in love.

Are you sure?

Yes. I probably shouldn't have told you like that...

...but I didn't know how else to say it.

Good old Tony. I knew he wouldn't let me down.

Amanda, I don't know what else to say except, I'll make you a wonderful husband.


Tony. Aunt Cora.

Prepare yourselves for a shock. She told you.

Yes. What's up, Steve?

My congratulations, Tony.

You accomplished more in a week than I did in two years.

I admire the way you're taking it, Steve. Why not?

Amanda just told me she's ready now to marry me.

Amanda's going to what? Judge, I want you to marry us.

Delighted, delighted. Congratulations, Steve.

Put that water down.

Henry, champagne. Champagne for my friends.

Amanda, come dance with me. Mind if I had this dance with Tony?

Good old Tony. I should say I don't mind.

We'll have plenty of time to dance later on.

Come on, Aunt Cora.

Oh, sit down, Joe.

Hold me close, Tony.

I have something to tell you.

Now, no matter what I say or how it may affect you, smile.


And keep smiling.

All right.

Something very unfortunate has happened.

And you're mixed up in it.

It's my fault entirely.

I was trying to tell Steve that I didn't want to marry him...

...because I wasn't in love with him.

Because I'm in love with you.

Smile, there's Steve.

What am I going to do?

I don't know.

Well, I can't hurt Steve, and I just can't marry him.

Of course not.

In the meantime, I think we'd both better smile.

Sit down, Joe.

You know, Steve, I think you and Amanda should see me tomorrow in my office.

Say about 11:00.

Oh, no. No more treatments. Let's let well enough alone.

I think we'd better, Steve.

No, Tony, you've served your purpose beautifully.

You've been a scientific Cupid.

I'm afraid I'll have to insist, Steve.

Well, as long as you insist. And if it'll make you happy, old boy.

Amanda can see you in the morning.

Good evening, Judge Travers. Oh, good evening, Grace.

Oh, sit down, Joe.

The doctor will be right out.

Morning, Amanda. Miss Cooper. Morning.

Good morning. Hello, Connors. Hi.

Well, Dr. Flagg, you were absolutely right to have us all here... you could explain to Steve. Pity he had to shoot the judge.

I mean, for the finals in the scat meet this morning.

Mind if I spoke to your niece alone? Certainly not.

Connors, escort Miss Cooper to her car...

...and wait till Amanda gets there. She won't be long.

Don't hurry.

Since Mr. Connors is no longer confused, maybe he'll prove entertaining.

Sure, but I gotta have a deck of cards.

Please sit down, Amanda.


...that dream you told me about, it wasn't true, was it?

No, Tony.

You dreamed about me, didn't you?

Yes, Tony.

And as a result of that dream, you thought you loved me.

Yes, Tony.

Dreams are very curious things, Amanda.

Very often, the dream fantasy makes things seem true to the dreamer...

...when in reality, they have no basis in fact.

When we first met, there was a confusion in your mind regarding Steve.

When you agreed to our first experiment, you felt you could be helped by me.

Now, since we learn to depend on those we are confident can help us...'s not at all unusual for that temporary dependence to be mistaken for love.

In your frame of mind at that time... would've fallen in love with any doctor.

That's understandable, isn't it?

What's wrong, Amanda?

I guess that I'm just worried about Steve, that's all.

Do you still have confidence in me? Yes, Tony.

Will you do as I ask?

Yes, Tony.

You just sit here.

Keep your eyes fixed on this light.

Now you're feeling sleepy.

Very sleepy.

Yes, Tony.

Your eyes are growing heavy, Amanda.

Close them.

Close them.

Now you're asleep.

You're fast asleep.

You're in a trance now.

I will bring you out of it shortly.

You will act and be perfectly normal in every respect...

...except that you will have these new thoughts...

...which I am about to put in your mind.

You will remember everything I'm about to tell you.

Now, repeat after me everything I say:

I love Stephen.

I'm going to marry Stephen.

I love Stephen. I'm going to marry Stephen.

Dr. Flagg is a horrible monster.

Dr. Flagg is a horrible monster.

Men like him should be shot down like dogs.

Men like him should be shot down like dogs.

I love Stephen. I don't love Tony.

I love Stephen. I don't love Tony.

Tony doesn't love me.

Tony doesn't love me.

Tony doesn't love me.

Tony doesn't love me.

That's enough. That's enough.

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back.

What are you acting so silly about? You don't love that girl.

Oh, yes, you do.

Who said that?

Your subconscious mind. You know, the one that never sleeps.

If you had any sense, you'd psychoanalyze yourself and admit you love her.


What a cluck you are, Tony.

Why? Why?

Because you're so dumb you didn't realize...

...she was crying because she's in love with you.

You really believe that? Certainly.

If you doctors weren't such wise guys...'d forget your textbooks once in a while.

What do you think I ought to do?

Go in there and take back those silly ideas you just put in her head.

Yes, and then what?

Then kiss her, you dope.

I think maybe you've got something there.

I must go to Stephen. I must drive to Stephen.

All right, but Dr. Flagg told me to stick around... I'll sit in the rumble seat.

Medwick Country Club, as fast as you can make it.


Dead a pair.

Quiet. Quiet, please.

Quiet, please.

Please. Please, please, please.

Thank you.

Good luck, judge.

Thank you, Steve. Same to you. You're going to need it.


I must see Stephen.

Are you ready, gentlemen? Pull.

Dead a pair.

Connors. Of all the silly things.

Come out of there.

Honestly, men are such cowards, hiding like that.

You'll feel better after you buy me a drink.

Pull. Stephen!

No birds. This is no place for you, Amanda.

From now on, my place is with Stephen. Amanda, darling.

Oh, fiddle-fuddle.

He's a horrible monster.

Men like him should be shot down like dogs.

I'm sorry, judge, I don't think she meant you.

Stephen, I wanna do everything you do. That's fine, but right now I want to shoot.

Sorry, judge.


Amanda, you're wonderful. So are you, Stephen.

Did you see that, judge? See it? Those are my birds!

Don't lose your temper. There are plenty more.

Don't lose my temper?

My best hat, a real Tyrollean.

Amanda, this is no time to shoot hats.

I'm sorry, judge.

Thank you, sir.

Amanda. Amanda.

Men like him should be shot down like dogs.

Put that gun down, Amanda. Amanda.

That's my gun. It's loaded.

Look out, Stephen, I don't wanna shoot you.

Put that gun down. Put that gun down, Amanda.

You'll hurt somebody. That gun's loaded.

Look out. What...?

Put that gun down. Look out!

Why don't you take that gun away from her?

What's that?

A thing called scat. They play it with guns.

What's everybody running for?

Probably one of the silly rules.

Please, please, please.

What's the matter with Amanda? She's never acted like this before.

She's never been hypnotized before. Hypnotized?

I put a couple of wrong ideas in her mind.

I've got to get them out while she's in the trance.

Well, get them out.

Shot down like dogs. Shot down like dogs.

Shot down like dogs.

The gun is empty. What are we hiding for?

That's right, she's fired both shots, Tony.

Amanda, I wanna talk to you. I'm going to shoot.

Are you sure that gun's empty? Yes, yes.

Oh, it is?

Amanda. Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up, Amanda.

Is she out of it? Yes.

Dr. Flagg, you and Steve appear in my chambers tomorrow morning.

Amanda, Roland here tells me you had a gun and went crazy.

What are you talking about? How did I get here? Oh, Stephen.

Are you sure there's no more danger? Yes, she's all right now.

Oh, thank heavens, thank heavens, thank heavens.

There's no reason to be nervous, Tony.

I'll explain to the judge that your treatments have been so successful...

...that Amanda's finally set the date for our marriage.

She has? Tomorrow.

I hate to hurt your feelings, Tony...

...but Amanda's made it quite clear that she never wants to see you again.

She keeps mumbling something about shooting you down like a dog.

I can't get it out of her head.


...I've got to hypnotize her again. What? For what?

I put those terrible thoughts about me into her head before I realized...

...that I love her.

You what?

I'm sorry, Steve, but I didn't realize until after she had told me that she loved me.

She what?

It's only fair to her...

...for me to remove those unnatural thoughts from her mind...

...and then she can choose between us.

What happens if you don't remove the thoughts?

She'd marry you, be unhappy...

...and go through the rest of her life hating me.

You wouldn't want that to happen.

No, I should say not.

Amanda has to be happy.

And as long as she loves you, I'll just step out of the picture.

Thanks, Steve.

Just let me handle everything with the judge.

All right. My Tyrollean hat.

Good morning, Judge Travers. How's Amanda?

She's fine. I didn't ask you.

Tell him, Steve. Tell him the news.

Before anybody tells me, I'm gonna tell you something.

It's because of my consideration for Steve and Amanda...

...that this case is not being held in open court.

May I suggest, then, that we conduct it as such in here?


Sit down, Tony.

Before I begin, Your Honor, I apologize for any lack of eloquence.

It is with difficulty that I speak...

...because friendships are involved. My heart is full.

Tony, I want you to answer these few questions, yes or no.


Isn't it true that at a dinner party... heard my announcement of an impending marriage?

Yes, but you see... Just answer yes or no.

Your Honor, I am pleading for my own happiness and Amanda's.

This man, with subtle, scientific witchcraft...

...has insidiously tried to worm his way into the affections...

...of my sweet, simple wife-to-be, Amanda Cooper.

Sit down. And now he has the unmitigated gall... seek to get to her subconscious, as he so aptly puts it, once more.

But I protest.

She has suffered enough. I ask...

No, I demand a court order restraining this gentleman...

...from ever seeing or even speaking to Amanda Cooper again...

...under the extreme penalty of the law.


And so, my friends, tomorrow at this same time...

...the case of Amanda Cooper versus Stephen Arden...

...will have been closed.

And I shall take keen personal delight... sentencing you both to life imprisonment:


Sit down, Joe.

Remind me a little later to speak to you about those corny jokes.


Joe, you know I don't dance at your age.

Good evening, Judge Travers. Good evening.

Mind if I dance with Aunt Cora? I certainly...

Certainly, he wouldn't.

Amanda, may I have this dance?

No. And if you want to get arrested, just keep on talking.

He's a horrible monster.

I've got to tell her something.

You'd better forget it for a while. If you can't talk, you can't tell her.

Must you dance Every dance With the same fortunate man?

You have danced with him Since the music began Won't you change partners And dance with me?

Must you dance Quite so close With your lips touching his face?

Can't you see I'm longing to be in his place Won't you change partners And dance with me?

Ask him to sit this one out And while you're alone I'll tell the waiter to tell him He's wanted on the telephone You've been locked In his arms Ever since heaven knows when Oh, won't you change partners And then You may never want To change partners again Would you mind if we went outside for some fresh air?

It's awfully stuffy in here. Not at all, sweetheart.

I'm sorry he upset you, dear.

There's no reason we should let him spoil our whole evening.

I think he's contemptible.

Oh, Amanda, don't say that. Tony's all right.

Except that he's a dirty, double-crossing scientist.

You're wanted on the telephone, sir.

Just take the message, please.

It's a long-distance call, sir. Person-to-person.

Come along, Amanda. No, I'll meet you in the pavilion.

I'll only be a moment.

Hello? Mr. Arden, long distance is calling.

One moment, please.

Go ahead with Honolulu, operator.

This is Mr. Steve Arden, please?

Yes, yes, who's this?

This is Miss Satsuma Naguchi, please.

Who? Miss Satsuma Naguchi, please.

I would like information about your marriage... honorable lady Miss Cooper.

I am editor "Woman's Column," Honolulu Daily Bugle.

Honolulu Daily what?

- Bugle. What?

Bugle, you know:

Amanda, may I speak to you, please?

You certainly may not. But please, Amanda.

I'm awfully sorry, Miss Satsumi.

I don't understand a word you're saying.

Not Miss Satsumi, Miss Naguchi, please.

And if you do not understand, you must be very stupid man, I think so.

I call you up like polite lady to get simple information.

And now you make a big fuss about nothing, I think so.

So I will commence with the beginning.

This is Miss Satsuma Naguchi, Honolulu...

Amanda, I want you to repeat after me everything I say.

Amanda, Amanda!

Dr. Flagg, stop that. Stop that immediately.

Amanda. Amanda, wake up.

Oh, Stephen.

Hattie, have you ever been married?

No, ma'am, but I've been engaged. Oh, just as good.

No, ma'am, it's a lot better. Hattie.

I've opened the door for you five times in the last 10 minutes...

...and Steve has caught me every time.

Come in through the window. Don't let Joe see you.

He's issued a bench warrant for your arrest.

And in case you don't know it, the ceremony starts in five minutes.

That doesn't give us much time. I guess it's too late.

After the trouble we had getting you a marriage license?

But it's no good unless I can get to her unconscious mind.

That'd take longer than five minutes.

I'd get her unconscious in under five minutes.

I'd bust her in the jaw. I guarantee she'd be unconscious.

Oh, don't be ridi...

Let's find that open window.

Oh, hello, Steve.

We just came in through the window. Yeah, I guess we're in the wrong room.

Hi, kids.

Get out of here before I call Steve.

Amanda, darling, for what I'm about to do, please forgive me.

Oh, I'm sorry, I just can't do it.

Hey, doc, duck!

Amanda, darling.

Hurry up, doc, get to her unconscious before she comes to.

Repeat after me:

Tony loves Amanda.

Tony loves Amanda.

Stand up, Joe.