Chi-Raq (2015) Script

Fixed & Synced by bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick Homicides in Chicago, Illinois, have surpassed the death toll of America's Special Forces in Iraq.

Over 400 school-age kids have been shot this year.

On the weekend of July 4th, 2015, American Independence Day, 55 people were shot and wounded and 10 were murdered including a seven year old boy.

Where was their freedom?

Where was their Right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness?

These overwhelming numbers of homicides are committed by young black males against young black males.

Heaven help us all.


Wassup? Wassup?

Wassup, man? Good? Good?

Yeah, we, good.

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

In the year 411 BC, that's before baby Jesus, y'all, the Greek Aristophanes penned a play satirizing his day.

And in the style of his time, Aristophanes made that shit rhyme.

Transplanted today, we retain his verse, to show our love for the universe.

But warning! You go' see some pain but that's only natural 'cause it involves the gangs.

So, before I unfreeze these G's like the sets you heard before...

People, people, people!

We can't take too much more.

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

Everybody make some noise!

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

Hey, everyone.

- Young Chop. What up, my brother.

- T-Money. Yeah.

I love you, baby.

On my soul, this is my city.

It's sprung!

If I can't find him.

I'm find his sister and his mother and his brother.

If I can't fuck her.

I'm gonna fuck her sister and her mother and her cousin.

My shooter loadin' up da chopper shells and he bustin' and he bustin'.

Dat's just how dey do it in my city what da fuck dey gonna do wit my city.

Gettin' money boy we on it We grindin' through the struggle.

My hood on my back.

I swear all my niggas love me.

If they see me niggas run.

But I heard they lookin' fo' me.

Y'all ain't really in da field.

Y'all some snitches Y'all informants.

Ridin' through da ops side of town And I'm scorin' if you kill my homey den I'm gonna kill yours.

Smokin' good weed Poppin' pills with my boys.

Everybody know it.

Everybody know it.

Pull this fuckin' Toolie out.

And yeah boy I'm scorin'!

Yeah boy I'm scorin'!

Pull this fuckin' Toolie out And everybody' goin'.

I'm tryin' to lighten up my city.

My city. My city.

My city. My city.

You acted like a fool with da Tool In my city.

My city. My city.

We poppin' pills, doing drills In my city.

- My city. Chi-Raq.

- Where we at? My city.

Chi be on 'dat bullshit Like dat Jimmy Butler guy.

If I catch a Trojan nigga I'm gonna make his mama cry I told you!

I told you!

In da party off of Molly AH my Spartans rollin'!

Da op say he gonna murder me Ha! Bitch I'm rollin'!

Da camera ain't shoot him yet.

Don't shoot!

Holy shit!

Back the fuck up.

Back the fuck up!

Tonight was mad hectic, yo.

Shit, I respect it.

My little nigga T-Money took the hit.

Better be glad it was just a flesh wound and shit

'cause when my gun go boom, I'm gonna make sure Trojan ends up in next room and shit.

Spartan, they never lack and we attack his bitch.

I swear to God, I empty out a whole extendo clip.

Ho' ass! Trojan's want to trip over some text message bullshit.

Three dudes all shot up behind text messages?

No question.

You know I was scared for you and me both.

Girl, you know your nigga is invincible.

You want to kill me?

Those motherfuckers better bring a E-RAM missile.

Fuck dem niggas from Troy town.

I have been all night to take your fine ass down.

You ready for the daddy to smash that cake?

I have got that long D, I know your ass can't wait.

Freaky deaky all up in that butt.

Come on, girl, let's bust this nut.

It ain't get no gooder.

Girl, you finer than the granulated sugar.

Guess I better press my luck.

Just like my credit, that's fucked.

We could've got killed.

I got to look at that tonight?

Out of sight.

I got another pistol that's gonna make everything a'ight.

Just make sure it's loaded.

You know what I like.

You outside? No fun.

And he's inside gettin' some.

You feel?

Spit your lick. Come on, man.

Spark, Jo.

No music, no nothing?

Nothing but the beat of the headboard bumping when my third leg go thumping.

Slow down.

You got to bring me to romance.

Then maybe like Biggie, I give yo' ass one more chance.

Okay, okay, well, like Pac say, Can't wait to get you home.


Get you all alone.

Get you home in my bedroom Maybe we can bone and get it on.

Got a lot of thug in me.

I want to put it in you.

Hey, goofy.

Why I stay with you?

'Cause you know Chi-Raq.

Make you stand when I crack your back with the Spartan handle.

Chi, bang it.

Smell somethin'?

Your ass in my... What's that?

What's that?


Oh, shit!


Come on, motherfucker.

Get out of here.

Burn, baby How you please, baby?

Disco inferno.

Go, go.

You're gonna blow, Trojan.

Hey, baby!

You're dead, nigga!

You missed me. On my mama, you're dead.

Old-ass motherfucker!

Call fire department.

Somebody call fire department.

What are you looking at?


Absolutely nothing.

What's up, baby? Morning, Tuti.

Hey, Lysistrata. What it do? What's up, Spinna?

Wake up. Hey, Dolmedes.

Welcome to Chi-Raq.

The land of pain, misery and strife.

Folks, our windy city been filleted with a king size butcher knife.

Like a monster from outer space, the great state of Drillinois has been hit by a murderous bigass killer-roid and that's real shit now.

Where the big money-maker is the black suit undertaker.

But don't pity our pain.

Might ain't always right, ain't you heard?

And this coming from a natural man.

Baby, you come face to face with the super bad Mr. Dolmedes.

My black ass was on the first box of Wheaties.

I was raised up in a pail of rusted nails.

Ran butt-naked through golf ball-sized hail.

Was weaned on thunderbird from my mama's tities.

Kicked ass from coast to coast, till both shoe toes were shitty.

Chewed up electric lines and pissed out lightning bolts.

Hit Godzilla so hard, it gave my poor daddy a jolt.

Sank the Titanic, with a frozen turd, then won ten Grammys and didn't sing or rap one Goddamn motherfuckin' word.

Now, I told you about The Signifying Monkey.

And rapped about Shine but this here tale of two cities, is one of a kind.

It all started with a gorgeous nubian sister.

Baby's so fine she made George Zimmerman and Darren Wilson wanna kiss her.

As Tough as Coffy and sexy as Foxy Brown!

Hell, Beyonce Knowles herself even has to bow down.

They call her Lysistrata.

A woman like no other.

Dis Chocolate Brown Sistah was Finer'n a Muthafucka!

She could put fear in a Pitbull. Made Bruce Lee flee.

Knocked out Frazier and Ali, den ran Money Mayweather up a sycamore tree.

Wit' a mind like Einstein. And a truly luscious behind.

What's up girl?

Dat Girl put a Gap-Goodie hurting on all mankind!

Drive by. Spartans and Trojans Beefin'.

Lil' Girl Patti- wuz wrong place, wrong time.

Messed up.

Barbara, did you see the shooter?

Oh, boy.

Somebody called me to tell me that... Ma'am, please.

What happened? What's going on?

My baby-

That's my...

Ma'am, please.

Is that?

Is that... What happened? Ma'am.

You have to go down to the morgue for identification, ma'am.

That's my baby.

Is that...

Patti. You can't cross the line, ma'am.


Y'all see somethin'?

Y'all see nothin'?

Ain't nobody out here see nothin'?

And I even can't get to my own child.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

What happened?

Don't touch me!

You don't even deserve to look at my child's body laying right on this ground!

None of you.

You gonna get your day, Lysistrata.

You and your damn boyfriend.

You got what's coming for you.

I want you to look at her, look at her right there.

That's a seven... A little baby!

A baby.

A baby.

I can't take this anymore.

Your daughter is in heaven.

It could be you, next time. Will you be standin' around lookin' then?

This "Nuthin" ' has no where to go.

Welcome to my home.

Come on in. Come on.

Why don't you move in with that boy of yours?

Machine Gun Kelly?

Wouldn't be safe.

I suppose he'll be gunnin' for who set that fire.

Y'all make my tired ass tired.

There are children here in Englewood! Does that mean anything to you?

Runnin' up the street. Shootin' and killin'.

Do you care at all?

Maybe I should leave. No. Sit.


You're gonna deal with this today.

You don't have any family? No, ma'am.

I'm an orphan.

My moma put me up for adoption at birth.

I grew up moving from one Group Home to another.

Lord, help you, child.

Where's your flatscreen?

Malcom X once said, "The best way to hide something from negros,"

"is to put it in a book."

Well, I can dig it, Miss Helen.

You sure got mad books.

Books are my life.

My life are books.

You always lived here? No.

I lived in Cabrini Green back when it was clean, before they knocked it down.

Oh, lot of black folk got gentrified across town.

Who's this? My daughter.


Let me guess.

Ten? That's right.

Fifth grade, class picture.

Girl, come away from that window!



I hate that name.

It's not who we are.

Chicago has always been a straight-up gangster town.

We are not Chi-Raqs. What do you call all these shootings?

Crime, doing time.

It's not just about Chicago.

What about Bodymore Murderland?


City of brotherly murder.

Bucktown. Brooklyn, New York.

So many people getting shot, hospitals goin' broke!

I mean, you got to get on the E-way, people dying enroute.

They can't even file a lawsuit.

I mean, there ain't no trauma centers here on the Southside.

There was a time in summer when it got hot, your child could go outside and play and not get shot.

Well, I don't remember that time. It existed.

I'm sorry, Miss Helen, but it's a war zone here.

The US spends money on the Iraqi people, to train them, govern them, helped them build an economy.

Billions and billions in dollars.

The Afghan people too.

They don't do economic development like that here on Southside.

See, Americans like war.

They like guns.

Fun and games.

Fun and games?

Ask the parents at Sandy Hook.

When they murdered white babies and things don't change.

Saving black life is way out of range.

I keep thinking of that mother that lost her child.

You should.

This boy, you with?

Chi-Raq? What?

That's what they call him.

Wait a minute now. Hold on.

They call him Chi-Raq?

Yes, ma'am.

Lord, have mercy.

Well, he's a rapper.

I mean, he's gonna be big time famous.

You really never heard of him?

I heard he was the leader in this gang mess, girl.

Oh, Miss Helen, they don't say "gang" anymore.

They say organization.

What is his real name?

His government name?



Demetrius DuPree.

Demetrius DuPree.

His father?

All Chi's told me is that he died in prison.

He's got a good heart deep down inside.

I love him.

I can change Chi. Darling.

People change when they decide to change.

You make it sound so easy.

All you can do is create an environment for change.

Like an alcoholic, you take away his booze.

You just try taking away their guns.

All right. Well, what else do they love?

Getting turned up, making money. What else?

Yeah, Well.

Pick up your phone.


Leymah Roberta Gbowee is a Liberian peace activist responsible for leading a women's peace movement that helped bring an end to the Second Liberian Civil War in 2003.

You go and do it.

Irene, your daughter is another victim to the senseless violence here in Englewood on the Southside of Chicago.

What do you want people to know? What can people do?

You know these babies don't asked to be caught in the middle of this.

They don't.

If y'all know anything, if you've seen anything, heard anything, please, do something, say something.

I mean, where's your heart?

What's up, girlfriend?

You unhappy stayin' at Miss Helen's crib?

You know how old people live.

That ain't the thing, Rasheeda.

I'm on fire. Burn, baby, burn.

We agreed to hook up, make this plan.

Where da Females at? Huh?

Laid up with some man.

Oh, no.

Hell not! Marcy! Tee Tee!

It was today? Damn right, it was today.

Y'know I was waitin' for a line from Jackson.

He's in Afghan, seein' action.

Waitin' for his call, I went to the mall.

Lil' Man wanted some Cap'n Crunch.

He'll eat it for breakfast or maybe lunch.

Get in the damn car.

Whose crib this be?

Indigo. Indigo?

Isn't that Cyclops' main squeeze?

Cyclops's bae?

Yo, I got dem in purple.

She a woman. We all black women.

That's the matter at hand, sister.

Yeah, yeah, I can dig da Sister Apps!

But make sure dey don't bust no caps.

Can I help you?

'Sup, Indigo?

Are you CoverGirl clean, mad figure, brick shit house, mean!

This about who set your house on fire?

What dese tired strags want? What y'all want!?

Chill wit da shrill, before I whoop yo' butt, slut.

Are you serious? You are at my door.

I got a kid with me, y'all. Relax.

Calm down. Peace, peace and hair grease.

Check your girl. Check her.

Check the ignorance.

We all sisters here. Bitch, I ain't your sister.

This is my runnin' partner, Dania.

My ace boon koon, Hecuba. What?

And I know you know Kenya, the rapper.

I ain't putting out fear so what ya tryin' to steer?

God Forbid, Cyclops find you Spartan chicks up in here.

Everybody in here got a man in orange and purple colors.

Bangin' and slangin', fighting for a flag, risking that long zip of the cadaver bag.

That's how we live. That's how we die.

You want to loose your man to a drive-by?

In a pinebox before he's 25.

I lost my cousin. And I lost my little brother.

I lost my nephew.

My uncle got killed two weeks ago.

And like always, nobody saw nothin'.

All to the bang, bang.

Bang, bang.

We've all lost people, too. Many a sister and brother.

Now, I'd like to see Cyclops and Chi put down that mess between the Trojan and the Greeks, but that day looks bleak.

What if we could devise a method to end the bloodshed?

Yo count on me. You need money?

I'll pawn all the gold around my neck, den git turned up 'till I'm a wreck!

I'm ready to split myself up the middle, to give you half.

I'm down for the cause but how?

We force our men to negotiate peace by exercising cocksure self control and total abstinence from knockin' the boots.

I never did like you Trojan chicken heads any-goddamn-way so...

Oh, hell, no. You got to get out of here.

Y'all kickin' us out? Yeah, out of here.

Shoot 'em up. Bang, bang.

Please, please, just sit down.

We ain't gonna be dat long, Rasheeda, shut up!

Give me one more minute. Hey, I got my son with me, I got to go.

Marcy, this has to do with your son.

Just a minute ago, you were ready to split yourself up the middle.

Go ahead so that you Spartans can get out of here.

I just saw a mother weepin' in the streets.

Her baby's blood spilt.

Man, you really think somethin' like that could bring peace?

Y'all know the power we have over them withholding with just a day.

A week? Imagine a month.

A year.

They are gonna bring the peace.

Suppose, suppose that the men just dump us.

If we all hold out, who can they go to?

The thots!

Dem hoes o'er there.

Well, we will enlist them too.

We want our men alive, we want our babies to thrive, we gonna have to organize.

Repeat after me.

I will deny all rights of access or entrance...

I will deny all rights of access or entrance... from every husband, lover, or male acquaintance... from every husband, lover, or male acquaintance... who comes to my direction, in-erection... who comes to my direction, in-erection...

Come on, say it.

Girl, can't cheat us.

I can't do this. No.

If he should force me to lay on that conjugal couch... if he should force me to lay on that conjugal couch...

I will refuse his strokin', not give up that nappy pouch.

I will refuse his stroke, not give up that nappy pouch.

No peace... No pussy.

The red wine has been drunk, the plan has now struck.

Dolmedes must tell you fellas, y'all about to get punked.

Lysistrata had them all take a solemn oath, "Stop the murder madness, or there would be no more pokes.”."

Some even thought the shit was hoax.

How could dem females give up long dick and da down stroke?

This must be some bullshit.

Ain't no fucking way.

But y'all about to find out these gals don't play.

No more punane, nookiepie, beehive or honeybun.

No coochie, no nappy dugout. That's right.

You get none.

Say what?

To be so smart, y'know you're tweakin' right?

You Lame as Hell, playin' games for real wit' dis whack-ass panty strike.

And that's the shit we don't like.

You want to choose to be ruled, bitches gonna be tight when you make they lose their dudes.

I dunno who you think you're tryin' to change.

I'm Trojan through and through, that's stronger than any damn screw.

It' even bigger than you.

All you care about is this tired gangster game.

Well, it's lame.

You think you'll die with fame?

Negro, two days later no one will even remember your name.

Your machismo's really masochism. That's why we cuttin' off da jism!

As long as you love the life more than a wife, we strike.

Why you so frigid?

Baby, let me thaw you out with this ice-pick.

Know you can't resist the chocolate lick.

Chill out.

This next move is the best move and it's gonna be smooth...

Fine. Remember that little Kiddie Rhyme.

Three, Six, Nine, Indigo Drank Wine.

Made her Chicks walk this No Sex Line.

But the Line Broke! Them Bitches Choked!

And Lysistrata and her "Former" "Friends" got replaced by some tighter pokes.


Be... Safe.

What's happenin' with the jump off bacchos?

We got the cheese, where's the nachos?

Why you got the club on lock, yo?

It's rough up in here. It's saturday night.

We gettin' tight? Not tonight.

Ain't No partyin'. No dancin'. No gettin' down!

Why? Ain't a broad to be had!

Just a bunch of hardheads goin' stag.

It's the same all over town. Clubs is closin' down!

Man, these womens have vanished!

Even the hoes is no shows!

What the fuck is this?

What the hell?

I'll be god-damned.

What the hell?


All right, peep this, I got 30 girls strippin' for me another five on loan. And none of em', is answering the god damn phone.

That shit is wack!

Yeah man, at this time of night the champagne room be full of life!

Young boys puttin' dollar bills in the drawers of all my pretty thrills!

Cyclops, we have been struck by a plague that will put that Biblical pestilence shit to shame!

And this famine affects only the lower regions, where all you young Trojans do most of your thinkin'!

I mean, this is the male side of the aisle, if you can't squeeze it, you at least wanna tease it.

But these ho's have literally shut down the penis power grid!

So my questions to y'all... ls what you muthafuckas done did?

The situation's out of control, 'cause I'm in front of an empty stripper pole.

But you still got souls, so you know, your pole is gold.

Cyclops, keep your eye on me.

Yeah, we got you, Morris. Don't worry about this, I got this.

Got it between my crosshairs.

What you need is another eye.

There's not even half an ass to look at.

One of these days you're gonna get tired of them one-eyed jokes.

Sorry man, I'm a little uptight, 'cause there ain't no pussy in the club tonight!

Where's yours on standby? I can't sell standby.

I need some active duty, first class vagina!

You need active duty booty.

Active duty booty.

Glad you can find humor in this.

Damn, that shit just come to me, I don't know how.

You know what, man. I would like to have somebody on that pole tonight.

Beast. Pole, baby.

It's not that kinda club, young man.

What kind of insubordination is this shit?

No. We got it, Boss. You need all you can get!

Relax. I got this.

Do it, son. Yeah, do that shit. Spin!

Hey Big Thelma, where you goin'?

To The US Virgin Islands, a place my girls ain't never seen.

Where you girls be at?

My bitches told me to go, say they're honorin' the strike, said they don't care who likes.

A ho strike? Shit yeah.

Good thing I'm a Dyke. You believe this shit?

The Heavens declare Your greatness and power.

Creation proclaims The work of Your hands.



Your people seek out Exalting Your name.

Jesus, Lord, forever you reign.




He is our King Worthy of honor and praise.

He is our God.

Awesome and mighty to save.

Oh Power, Oh Glory.

Oh Praise to Your name.

Oh Power, Oh Glory.

Oh Praise to Your name.

The Heavens declare Your greatness and power.

Creation proclaims, The work of your hands.



He is a King Worthy of honor and praise.

He is our God Awesome and mighty to save.

Oh Power Oh Glory.

Oh Praise to Your name.

Oh Power Oh Glory.

Oh Praise to Your name.

Yeah! Glory!

We don't mourn like other people. Hallelujah.

Praise Him!

Praise Him. Can I get a Glory!


Can I get an Amen! Amen!

I'm going to talk about a life today.

An important life in our community.

A life that ends life.

The life of a gun.

This gun began its professional career when it was purchased by "Tiny Tony" from Chicago.

At an Indiana Gun Show, using a fake Indiana ID.

And bypassed all of our strict gun laws.

Chicago gangs buy the guns for big money.

Break it down.

For their work in the Underground Economy.

Tell the truth!

The Underground Economy exists because banks and lending institutions rarely loan money to poor people.

Is that right?

Their children, however admire the thug life.

But they do so from the safety of suburban Chicago!

Kenilworth, Wilmette, Highland Park.

No, this gun wouldn't be caught dead there!

This gun is the principal player in a reality TV urban murder show, that can be seen every night at five and ten.

Every channel! On any news show you want to watch!

And that's when this gun...

Met our child Patti.


Patti is gone

because our politicians are in the pocket of the National Rifle Association.

And have become their mouthpieces or silent co-conspirators.

Patti is gone because of an economy that has abandoned the poor.

Downtown they say unemployment is at 5.7%...

How's that sound?

Right here in Auburn-Gresham, unemployment is 21%.

And that doesn't even count people who have given up hope and stopped looking for work.

The per capita income is $12,000.

42% of us live below the poverty line.

30% don't have a high school diploma.

What America are they living in? Yes!

We go from third rate schools, to first class, high tech prison!

Mass incarceration, is the new Jim Crowe.

Our Patti is gone because gang members are more concerned with popping pills and popping bottles.

More concerned with what's on YouTube!

More concerned with ego!

Street cred and greed than a human life.

Patti is gone because guns have become a part of America's wardrobe, where it's easier to get a gun than a computer.

Sirens and gunshots are our soundtrack.

Yellow police tape, teddy bears, T-shirts, balloons, these are the national memorials of our neighborhoods.

And it doesn't look good.

Take your time.

It didn't look good.

When the sky turned dark.

And the sun refused to shine.

And the earth began to quake.

And they laid Jesus' lifeless body at the arms of Mother Mary!

And I don't need to go back to Biblical times.

It didn't look good in a Birmingham church when four little girls were blown apart by hate!

It didn't look good, when Medgar was laying bleeding to death in his driveway.

It didn't look good, when Malcolm was shot down on the Audubon stage.

And didn't look good, when Martin Luther King stood on the balcony of the Lorraine Motel outside Room 306, and at 6:03 was taken from us.

And no, it doesn't look good...

Not when Patti was lost on a busy street, with folks going to work and school, with cars passing by.

How is it possible that not one witness has come forward?

Not one! How is it possible that no one has the courage and the conscience to speak up for this family! Somebody knows.

Somebody knows.

Cynics say, "Well if I snitch I'll be killed too."

First of all, when a murderer walks free, we are all in danger.

But if multiple folks come forward, multiple folks who witnessed these murders there is no one target.

What makes someone a target is not the shooter.

What makes someone a target is the community that surrenders to fear.

And becomes silent!

That's why we at St. Sabina must put out a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of Patti's killer.

Or any killer!

Because we need to say loud and clear, you cannot murder our children!

You cannot murder our children then go back to the crib.

Turn on Sportscenter, eat a Whopper and fries and act like nothing ever happened!

We will not allow this self-inflicted genocide to continue.

This is a disgrace!

Patti lives!

And Patti will have justice!

Do you have faith? Yes!

Do you want justice? Yes!

Are you willing to get up and walk? Yes!

Get up! Hope wins! Peace wins!

Goodness wins! Righteousness wins!

Love wins! Love wins! Love wins!

Police Sirens, everyday.

People Dyin', everyday.

Mamas cryin', everyday Fathers tryin', everyday.

Tryin' get my head straight.

Dis da city of Chi-Raq Where you could get ya bed made.

I see death round da corner Boy I dodge him like I owe 'em.

I don't talk if I don't know him Niggas plottin' niggas On Me.

Boy, I lost homies Some died, some crossed on me.

I Love da niggas dats down for me.

Hey, what up?

Man, you got a lot of stuff out here on this table.

You got everything going, don't you.

It's too much, man.

Yeah, trying to keep my mind off that bullshit.

Man, I don't want you fucked up like me, man.

Fuck around be in a chair.

Can't move your legs.

Gotta wear motherfucking undergarment.

Like shitting and pissing on yourself.

Nothing. Got to put these damn braces on.

These motherfuckers.

Everyday, these reminders. Of what?

Do I want to throw the ass up?

All right, we gotta wake up, man.

Look at me, man. Fucking tired of this shit.

I gave my whole life for this shit and I got nothing in return.

This Trojan war and shit, we gotta slow this shit down.

My son got shot, he in a wheelchair now.


Cat just stood over 'em, kept dumpin' 14 times, for what?

This ain't livin'. This ain't life.

We gotta do somethin' different, bro.

You gotta do somethin' different, wake up every day to get high.

Cry, go to funerals. Ain't you tired of this shit, man?

Don't you want to do something different?

Please pray for my city Too much hate in my city.

Too many heartaches in my city But I got faith in my city.

Dis Chi-Raq and I love dat You can't take it away from my city.

Some can't relate to my city Dey die everyday in my city

40's get clapped dis story a fact.

Niggas can't shoot So babies get whacked.

Dats how it is in Chi-Raq and y'all Mad 'cause I don't call it Chicago.

But I don't live in no fucking Chicago.

Boy I live in Chi-Raq.

At first, I thought you were all insane.

But upon further review, as a man that has taken a vow of celibacy, I know the power of the sexual appetite.

I know this fruit is ripe.

But understand, your ruse won't bring a truce.

What will bring the peace? How about a job?

Affordable housing. A good education.

Purpose and hope. There's a lot of hate out there.

A lot of self hate. A lot of racial hate.

That Charleston Massacre. Murdered at a prayer meeting.

Hate crimes. Assassinations.

Domestic terrorism. South Cack-A-Lacky.

First to secede, last to concede.

They built the citadel to take on mother Emanuel.

It's the oldest AME church in the south.

Founded by Denmark Vesey in 1822.

Their heritage is white supremacy through and through.

That evil young Klansman, that boy Dylan "Storm" Roof, He's the proof, post racial poof.

Storm wants his country back. Storm ain't gettin' it!

It ain't his! Storm's from a way of hate.

We may not be able to relate but those murders came from a lower Carolina State.

Historically speaking, evil's in that boy's blood...

But now the brothers on the block.

They do the white man's murderous biddin' for him.

Now that form of hate, we can't translate.

It enunciates "I will exterminate myself

"my kind. Me." Us.

The question remains can your plan save "US" from "US"?

Ain't that your boy?

General King Kong?

He wishes.

That's why I quit.

You know John Brown raided an armory at Harpers Ferry when he freed the slaves.

Show me what you're made of. Right here. Right now.

General King Kong?

I wanna enlist!

Young Lady, speak to one of our recruiting sergeants.

No, General. My bestie, Rasheeda, she served under you.

She told me, "Get behind that General King Kong."

Said you a "Commanding" Officer.

Young lady,

may I speak to you, in private?


H. W. Rice-a-Roni. W. Rummy.

No Clinton?

Where's President Hussein Obama?

I'd rather have an African Lion in the White House than a lyin' African.

You're too funny, General.

Young Lady, I'm about to show you something few people have seen.

This is one of the most important artifacts of the Civil War.

Affectionately known as Whistling Dick.

Because of the terrifying sound it made when it went off and wreaked its deadly havoc.

It saved our rebs time and time again.

What do you call this, General?

The Rammer.

Let me show you how this works.

You shove it in the hole. Like so.

Push it down, real low as far as it will go and you pull it out real slow.

Look at you, General.

I'm always prepared. Oh, suckie suckie now!

You know what would get me really Ala-Bam-Mee hot?

What? Tell me now.

Watch you mount old "Whistling Dick."

Ride it? Yeah!

Yeah, like you're old General Stonewall Jackson.

Comin' to rescue lil' darky me from those Yankees.

That'll turn you on? Yeah!

I'm not just whistlin' Dixie.

Here we go! Come on!

Ride it! You like that!


Let that pretty black steel ride up your pretty pale crack.

Sonofabitch, this is good. This is good.

You like that, General? Come here, you black stallion, it's time to light this cannon.


One more thing. What?

Now this right here, General, this will really turn me on.

But, I'm blind.

I'm blind. Yes, you are.

Now give me those hands.

You want my fingertips, what you gonna do with them?

I want all of you, like that.

That's so sweet.

Sweetie, come on. Feel that?

You mine now, General. Here we go.

I'm your whistling dick! I'm your little whistling dick.

Whistle! Whistle like you want it, baby!

Now come here you Lil' Nappy-Headed Ho.

Come on Mau-Mau!

Bring it, my little Burr-Head!

Come on! Here we go!

Wait a minute.

What in tarnation is this?

This is an act of treason.

You a Black Nigra ISIS?

Come on! Move it!

Freeze! Don't move!

Please don't shoot!

Is this the po-lice or Seal Team 2?

And you surprised there's derision?

If this was your neighborhood, what would you do?

Look at all this weaponry.

Shit looks like an invasion, not a persuasion!

All this for some unarmed women of color.

I think somethin' got lost in translation!

They say they come to protect and serve.

But da real truth is they get the chance they'll treat these girls like Eric Garner sellin' loosies.

Let's get truthy!

Cops and gangs. Black and brown folks stuck in the middle.

Shit's on fire y'all, I can hear Nero's fiddle.

Can't trust the po-lease.

Afraid of the gangs.

This whole muthafuckin' thing is insane!

What happened to the officer on the beat, and this banger sure ain't mama and them lil' treat.

First, I want to thank you all for showing up.

We all know that enough is enough and too much stinks, so we need to come together in agreement.

About this oath. What oath?

Swearing off the One-Eyed monster.


Miss Helen, as an attorney, I know the trip.

I convict our youngsters to this new slave ship.

If I do take the oath, how will it sink that bloody boat?

Althea, it won't work!

You just like having your man by the "Jackie Robinson."

Right. And that's why sugar pie man don't stray.

I keeps that bone dry, and also keeps myself lookin' fly.

So that's why you wear them too tight numbers, fish nets. Daisy Dukes.

Big old rippled up ass hangin' out the shoot?

Y'all wanna laugh? It's funny?

Broke ass Destiny's Child over here, you wanna laugh!

Don't talk about my big ass.

We all got some bumps and bruises and cigarette burns on asses.

Speak for yourself. What about you and your man?

Old Duke wanna hit that big butt?

You ain't gonna give it up?

Old Duke and me is separated!

Girl, please. You still wanna hit that.

Even if I did, which I don't.

I will not violate the oath.

Now, sisters this isn't a joke.

We all have a stake in this fray, you know mine, so forget about your personal needs.

I be damned if another child bleeds.

Dr. Aesop has the floor.

A woman wise beyond her years.

Maybe she can help us dry this river of tears.

As a pediatrician, for 50 years I was dedicated to preserving life.

God, nature, the higher powers, put more nerves into a man's thing than he ever did in his brain.

Thus, the women, must "Save The Babies."

Save the babies!

It's time to get that gate of motherhood locked up!

Lock it up.

Hold up! Hold the fuck up!

If I lose my man, Imma cut all of y'all!

Fuck it. Lock it up.

Knights of Euphrates. These females say this gonna stop the gangs.

Ain't this a Blip! "Silly Rabbits on a Stone Cold Trip!"

I told Sugar Pie before I left the house.

Apollo ain't no goddamn mouse.

She don't wanna give it up. I'll find me some brand new fresh ass butt!

Too much ass for all that trash.

Hey, ain't y'all heard, the phone sex women, they honorin' the strike.

And the porno, all closin' the nookie, I mean not even a fuckin' lookie.

Fellas they shuttin' it all down tighter than fish pussy.

And you know that shit's waterproof.

What you got to say, Oedipus?

Well, I asked my mommie last night and she said, "The women are right."

Your mommie? Yes.

Light skinny nigga, sometimes I think you married to your damn mommie.

Well, I love my mother and my mommie loves me.

Gentlemen, I am proud to say I was breastfed until I was 12 years old.


I hear some straight dudes been making late night appearances on "Queer Sex For The Straight Guy."

Yeah, and the brothers on the down low.

Even they sayin' "No blow."

Nigga, what you say? How I know that? I don't know.

Well, at my age, I thought my Misses was just a pest.

But Lord have mercy, she's a sexual terrorist!

And who do we have to blame?

Oprah? Women's Lib?

Uppity ass women?

Let's give them frails a dose of their own damn tails.

We'll let them twilly tarts know, who makes em' groan and moan and hoot!

And brings home the damn loot!

So what we gonna do, Old Duke?

We took dose flags once, we can take em' again.

Pointdexter is old but he can still go!

You sayin' do it ourselves? That's the plan, Stan.

Unless you always want to have that in your greasy old hand.

Knights Of Euphrates, rise up!

Like the battles of the past, we shall come together to whoop some female ass.

Let us not stand for their flappin' lips, nor their chronic naggin' bullshit.

Are we mice or men? Men!

We shall redeem the power of our breed with one mighty thrust into the misty mist and the dusky dusk.

What makes a muskrat guard his musk?


What makes the Sphinx the 7th wonder? Courage!

What makes the dawn come up like thunder?


What makes Venus Hottentot so hot? What puts the dance in the robot?

What we got that they ain't got?


Fuck no! A dick and two balls.

Miss Helen, I see you out here with all these ladies today, what do you hope to accomplish?

Lysistrata's Platform coincides with the Mayor's.

Ten Point Plan to end gun violence.

Her demand are our demands!

Why do you think your demands and your plan will work better than what the mayor is planning?

Because we have one, and it's to save our children!

We need to stop this violence in the street.

He's distracted. He has many things that he's concerned about.

We are concerned about our babies, we are talking to our men in our homes in the bedroom. I think they'll listen there!

I ain't in no gang. You telling me you gonna stop giving my girl from giving me what I need because your man is the leader of a gang and he out there shootin' and killin' people.

Don't make sense. I don't understand that.

I ain't a part of that party.

I'm old enough to know, I'm supposed to do what I'm supposed to do.

She old enough to know she supposed to do what she supposed to do.

Now the young kids, they the ones out here trippin' like dat.

No peace! No pussy! Women! You need us!

Do your duty and give up that booty.

No peace! No pussy!

Negotiate then copulate!

Women! You need us!

Do your duty and give up that booty.

No Peace! No pussy!

Do your duty and give up that booty.

No peace! No pussy!

Do your duty and give up that booty.

No peace! No pussy!

Negotiate then copulate!

That's where they are. What we can do is bring in a team here...

I wonder who sent him?

So what is this, Chief?

At approximately 15:00 hours

75 women took possession of the armory.

They had hostages, they released them.

Women did this? Black and brown women.

Black and brown women? Just black and brown women.

How many dead? Zero.

Just wounded? Nada.

They were packing big muscle?

No sir, they appear to be unarmed.

How many? Approximately 75, sir.

Are you telling me, that 75 black and brown women took a United States Military Armory, unarmed?

Yes, sir.

"No peace. No Pussy."

What the hell is going on, Riptide?

Don't let all that foolishness outside scare you.

The Armory's our chastity belt.

I will deny all rights of access or entrance.

To every husband, lover, or male acquaintance.

Who comes to my direction in erection.

If he should force me to lay on that conjugal couch.

I will refuse his stroke and not give up that nappy pouch.

I will not lift my house shoes to touch thy thatch.

Or submit hangdog and part with the snatch.

No peace! No pussy! No peace! No pussy!

Lock it up! Lock it up! Lock it up! Lock it up!

Hello? Jesus H. Christ!

Mr. Mayor... Hang on!

Everybody out there in the world take this too, you're part of this, take this vow!

Did you know this woman used to work for my office?

No. I didn't know that, Your Honor.

It's your job to know. She was a secretary.

But she's not typing letters anymore.

Oh no, she's getting the other secretaries to walk off the job.

She's leading a revolt.

I could lose the female vote over this stupid joke!

Jesus, you know how we feel about this baloney.

I can't afford to look like a phoney!

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Either way, I'm gonna have a freaking stroke!

Let's see how serious they are.

What's your meaning?

Perhaps we should let them get the feeling.

The feeling? Instead of us breaking in, we close them off, build a perimeter, a wall around them.

- A wall? - Operation hot and bothered.

Why don't we surround the Armory with speakers and blast them one of those romantic slow jams from the 70s.

Those croonin' brothers will make those mommies wet and make them wanna jet!

Those Chastity-Belters will end their sex strike and climb mount pike!

We run the ball right down their throats!

With total male pride.

Mayor, you win this by their appetite and never have to say you were right. You never attack or call them weak and you always, seek the peace.

You're a deviant bastard.

That's why I went into public service, Your Honor.

Touchdown bears!

No peace! No pussy! No peace! No pussy!

Lysistrata! Lysistrata!

Hello. Hi, good afternoon, excuse me.

Would you happen to be Ms. Clara Worthy?

No, sir. And who might you be?

I am Mr. Morrowburns.

How might I help you, sir?

Ms. Clara Worthy, is she around?

Is this the right address? 6328 Elizabeth Avenue, right?

Yes it is. Do you know a Ms. Clara Worthy?

Well, I better. Clara is my younger sister.

I'm Ms. Helen Worthy.

Wonderful. Pleased to meet you.

I love your garden, it's very beautiful.

Why, thank you.

And is your sister here? No, sir. You just missed her.

Clara's gone on up to Jackson, Mississippi, visit our parents.

You're kidding. Yeah. She left last night.

I have cousins in Jackson.

Do you? I do. We might be kin.

Could be. Could be.

Listen, could you give your sister a message for me please?

Well, that's gonna depend on the message.


"Red, White, and Blue Insurance Company?"

We got word in the home office that your sister has a young son.

A teenager by the name of Homer Worthy.

I came to tell your sister that she really should...

Consider taking out a life insurance policy on Homer.

Because I'm sure you know that young, black, boys on the South-side are...

More than likely to be shot and or killed.

And so the Red, White and Blue Insurance Company is hoping to help a single mother like your sister in case of a tragedy because, of course, it is always better to be safe than to be sorry...

Mr. Burnsmorrow, whatever your name is...

Morrowburns. If you don't leave here right now, right this second, you are gonna need a goddamn insurance policy your goddamn self, coming up here in my garden with this bullshit.

Leave! Leave!

It's Morrowburns. Do you think I give a flying fuck about your fucked up name?

Get on off the street, man!

Have a nice day, ma'am.

Go back up to the big house and you tell them it didn't work.

Have a nice day, ma'am.

Out here trying to take advantage of your own goddamn people.

If anybody's seen or heard anything...

Come on, ladies. You got children.

Have any information, let us know.

Save our babies! Save our babies!

Back up sucker, don't give us no smack!

Or we'll beat you to death with pampers, gerbers and similac.

Talk that talk, but you're going to jail.

And don't even think 'bout bail.

Who do you think you are? Rosa Parks? What a damn farce.

Yo, we in a hurry like a Ferguson and Staten Island jury.

Those judges were fair, look y'all, nobody cares!

Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Rekia Boyd and Freddie Gray, black lives matter, everyday.

Not just when you trigger happy cops go astray.

Dude, you think sista' Sandra Bland hung herself?

You kill us with impunity.

You give them the opportunity.

'Cause we kill each other like flies, you rogue cops think you can capitalize.

You thugs don't care about each other. Why should we?

Thugs? Who the fuck you calling a thug?

Because we are we.

No matter what our problems are, we deserve respect.

Even though our lives ain't perfect, we deserve respect!

Even though we live in terror town, we deserve respect.

And if you don't understand that, then brother, step back.

You and your Dr. Ben Carson lack!

Kill it! Killing dat pussy, huh!

Chi-Raq! No!

Wanna cum? Yeah. Yeah...

How'd you learn to make love so good?


They call Chi-Raq the pussy magician!

You are crazy like glue.


One time, I saw my mom and this dude getting it in.

Right after my daddy got killed, Dude named Blue Monday used to come round and try to pimp on my morn.

She turned a few rent tricks, I think.

Kill me!

Kill me!

Kill me!

Kill this pussy. Kill this pussy.

Come on.

Nigga, didn't I tell your skinny black ass to knock before you come into my bedroom?

I'm sorry, Mommy. Demetrius, close the goddamn door.

Demetrius, go!

Did you understand they was making love?

That's what they were doing?

Looked more like fighting, fucking and screwing.

Blue Monday knew that I saw him in moms, her name was Lucy.

So one day he just pulled me aside, yanked my chain lays me with the game, tell me how to pull bitches and everything.

Then he soft-pitched me my first piece.

I was like twelve years old...

Taught me how to be a man and shit.

Handed me his baddest bottom bitch as a present for washing his Cadillac.

God. I know, right.

I should've got like two or three bitches!

Washed the shit out of that Cadillac.

Where's your moms now?

Demetrius, close the goddamn door!

Fuck off. Talk about my morn...

This is an emergency.

We're all here for peace, right?


I wanna hear you scream for peace. Can y'all scream for peace?


Because that's what we want, and that's what we're about.

We gotta stop the killing. We gotta stop the killing.

Chi-Raq, what's doing?

You know how we do Tiny Tim.

What's up, man. It's all there.

Okay, them dirty poppers.

Oh, right! Try to stop us.

Keep it coming like that. Yeah, sure.

Ho. Gents!

Holes in the Trojan the size of the ozone, you know it!

Chicago's peace is our Selma!

Brothers and sisters, it is time to cross the bridge.

- Put down the guns! Put down the guns!

- Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

- Stop the violence! Stop the violence!

What do we want? Peace!

Save our babies! Save our babies!

It's Dick-Day! Omaha Beach!

And Uncle Sam's pulled out everything but the bedroom sheets.

Now, they hooking up the Noriega speakers.

Remember Panama, y'all?

That was the one before the other one before the other one, as I recall.

Well, them atomic woofers and tweeters made General Manuel's machete snap.

Too many DBs for them pock mocks to bear, plus he's ugly as crap.

Our boys caught that dick-tator in a rock n' roll trap.

So, now the commies' too, figured out how to make those pussies clap.

A black headed woman make a freight train jump the track, a long, tall gal make a preacher ball the jack.

A blond headed woman make a good man leave town and a redheaded woman make a boy slap his pappy down.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, this sex strike go on much longer, Bishop T D Jakes gonna cuss.

Operation Hot and Bothered.

We turn them on, they'll turn themselves in.

We'll stick those prick teasers in the federal pen.

Oh, honey, I'd be in trouble If you left me now

'Cause I don't know Where to look for love.

I just don't know how.

Oh, girl, how I depend on you.

To give me love when I need it.

Right on time you would always be.

All my friends call me a fool.

They say, Let the woman take care of you.

So I try to be hip and think like.

The crowd.

But even the crowd Can't help me now.


Oh boy.

Tell me what am I gonna do.

I know I've gotta guilty face.

But I feel so out of place.

Oh, yeah.

Gonna be on my way.

I can't stay here...

Ladies, I found these earplugs in the artillery room!

It should help drown out the bombing.

Booty... Booty... Booty...

Booty... Booty... Booty... Booty... Booty... Booty...

My God, he's got booty on the brain...

For God's sake, do something! Yes, sir!

Wheel him outta here!

Poontang on the membrane.

I want a big booty! I want a small booty! So fine!

I do like those Chi-Lites, though.

Eugene Record, lead singer, wrote most of their songs.

Yo, peoples, dig.

The problem with them quiet storm slow jam grooves, is everybody gets in a baby making mood!

It's been three months, y'all, can you believe it?

A long hard three.

This is no longer a test. It's a national emergency.

Pussy! I need some motherfucking twat and I need it now.

It's making me fucking insane.

God damn!

That boy's balls were bright blue.

He's an 18 wheeler carrying a heavy load whose arrival's overdue.

But like Wild Bill told Monica on her way down, "Don't let that shit drip, they'll use it as evidence."

Let's speak on something else don't make no sense!

Remember the two concert gunmen?

Let's check in on those fools. See how they doing.

So, y'all remember me? But did y'all know my mission?

Kill those Spartan niggas before intermission.

Those bullets severed my spine. Tore up my behind.

Now, I'm unable to walk. Thank God I can still talk.

I was Chi's boy.

What I'm now, I can't say.

What did I seek? To be monster Greek?

Being thug is what I loved. How you like me now?

Lost a kidney, a spleen, most of my digestive tract.

One goddamn bullet, dawg, that's the keeping it 100 fact.

Now I'm fed through an IV. I can barely pee, Jack. I'm no longer me.

What it means to be 18 and black.

This is Sparta?

Squad! Gang!

My nigga's, what is this? We Spartans!

Spartans are supposed to hold them hostage with the sausage.

Y'all motherfuckers got it? Spartans! I don't know why you crying like somebody canceled Kwanzaa and Christmas.

Stead of lying in the trenches y'all acting like a bunch of bitches!

Sir, we just wanna check into to Betty Ford, get back to sexual healing. You know we reeling.

What I care if these foo foo heifers lit y'all, up and negated the back.

I'm Chi-Raq, nigga. I cuts no slack.

So y'all going back to your little BB and Bobby Blue Bland rhythm.

Chi' don't get the blues, nigga. I give them.

Old ass Otis, know!

This strike got Spartans in purple drawers with blue balls.

Well shit, Spartan, that's on y'all!

Born in Chi-Raq!

Fucking limp. I don't know what you mean.

Oh, no. I put good paper out on Chi-Raq, why that motherfucker ain't dead!

Can't get nobody to pull the trigger.

What? Go figure.

I'm telling you, dawg, nigga's ain't the same no more.

All they wanna do is sit around thinking.

Say what? Thinking!


Thinking bout what? Pussy?

Nah, bro. You thinking about pussy?

Purse first, ass last motherfucker!

Fuck these, hoes down, whatever happened to that?

No, about this gang life.

What? Please don't. Look here.

We sees them like fat back baby, top dawg since way back.

Come correct with this shit now. What the fuck is going on?

Cyclops, you my man, 50 grand, long and strong.

But I'm telling you they ain't wrong.

These niggas be shaking like they having a seizure in a dice game.

They minds is racing. And I got a baby on the way!

I wanna see my shorty grow up, and not crying over my open grave.

You getting soft... Think I got soft?

Think 'bout all the niggas we lost!

They told me it was gonna be rough when I got out of the joint.

But I ain't know it was gonna be like this.

What about the war wounds, baby? The war wounds mean nothing?

Yeah, the war wounds was when it meant something.

So what about your name in the game, huh?

Our name has got us six feet deep!

Nobody? Nobody? Jah, Rude?

Yardboy... What now, yeah?

What? Bumbaclot ratchet.

Cyclops, you might wanna hear a word from me.

Break, and listen to me, bro.

You might wanna listen to your woman, Indigo.

You're not gonna listen?

Bro, you can at least talk to me. Okay. Okay.

Let's talk eye-to-eye. Okay, yeah.

Eye-to-eye patch!

Chastity belt keys up!

Like clockwork, Rasheeda!

Go. Come on.


Come on, Doc. Get on up there, Doc. There you go. After you.

You're a pig.

If I didn't miss my boo so much, I'd slug the shit outta you!

Bitches and hoes, come out to play.

Bitches and hoes, come out to play.

With our keys, we shall unlock the sacred brotherhood of male needs.

And seize the means of reproduction!

Those chastity belts are no match for a manly man's keys.

Time to let that thing breathe.

So pack up this Gloria Steinem act!

And get y'all ass back in that damn sack.

Take off those chastity belts and surrender the Armory.

Nobody moves. Nobody gets hurt.

What's up?

That all you got?

Girl, this sex strike scheme ain't nothing but a wet dream.

You trying to act all NFL Roger Goodell, wench please, all you chicks gonna burn in hell.

Don't worry, if you act polite and not all saddity, we just might issue you some damn pity...


See, we don't wanna fight but you cro-magnon, can't walk upright.

You're old dudes, you lack insight.

Who're your mommy and daddy?

I gots no mama and daddy.

You ain't got no folks?

Everybody's my folks.

So you never had a pappy to school you on the female way.

It takes a man to teach a heifer like you how to behave.

I'm sorry that our effort to reform has left you unable to perform.

But even before the strike that's what your penile implants was like.

Soft. Oh, snap.

You trifling little black bitch!

This ain't no joke.

Your old tired dicks just want a Viagra poke.

Dude, this is about life and death, about a community that's a wreck.

And you wanna sit here and talk about how women behave?

Fool, we trying to free these slaves.

Slaves to the madness. Slaves to this violence.

And what, you just want us to silence.

We gonna make sure these fools put down these guns.

And stop thinking that this craziness is fun.

You see we women, we understand that life is about more than polishing your knobs.

Saving lives, that's our job.

It's about bringing an end to this strife, and giving the hood the true meaning of life.

What is the true meaning of life?

You don't know?

Old Duke, why don't we go home? Huh?

My mommy's worried about you and I and the Knights.

Your mommy?

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Your mommy's on strike too.

Thank you guys. Bye. Have a good night.

And don't forget. No peace, no pussy. No pussy.

No peace, no pussy.

Brooklyn, put your guns down! Brooklyn, put your guns down!

Brooklyn, put your guns down! Brooklyn, put your guns down!

Brooklyn, put your guns down!

The President called me this morning.

The President? He was very upset.

World leaders are in crisis.

The infrastructures of their country are collapsing.

The leader of the free world thinks the entire matter is my fault.

Mr. Mayor. It's not your fault.

That's right because it's your cock-sucking fault.

The President of the United States called me a name today...

No, Mr. Mayor? Oh, Yes. Oh, Yes.

The President of the United States of America called me a "Motherfucking sorry ass punk ass bitch."

Oh yes, it seems the First Lady has taken the oath.

And what's worse, my wife has taken the oath.

She's a sexy young thing. Beautiful. Former model/stripper.

Honey, I'm home! I'm in the bedroom!

Imhotep arrives!

Oh, ahoy, my queen. Oh.

Oh. Mr. Mayor baby, I am so hot.

Your honor, my Pharaoh.

I will now take my Chi-Town Cleopatra.

No peace. No pussy.

If I can't have my wife's pretty bottom, from your tush I'll find meaning and you'll be squealing, like you were in that movie Deliverance.

Give this Lysistrata what she wants.

She wants world peace.

Give her fucking world peace. You read me. Get the job done.

Chi-Raq! Chi-Raq!

You know I knew your pops. Father's in there.

I'm good.

We need you and the Spartans to come down to the Armory and join in the peace talks.

Fuck I care if these lames ain't getting the ass.

Ain't my test. So Lysistrata is not your woman?

I ain't fucking wit my rep. This is bigger than your fucking rep.

Ain't no such thing.

Father, I always wanted to ask you, why a white boy like you been doing up in E-Dub, all these years?

I grew up 8 blocks from St. Sabana.

When I took my vow to be a priest, it had to be in the streets, 'cause Jesus roll with the suffering and the poor.

Imagine, no more stray bullets killing innocent children like Patti no more.

Bullets ain't got no name. No eyes.

That's right, they're just designed to take lives.

Like they'll take yours soon, son.

Three places you're gonna end up:

County Morgue, County Hospital or County Jail.

The people downtown don't give a fuck about you.

You're in the system. You in jail. And you won't make bail.

And it's privatized now to capitalize.

No more insurance card, no more family to feed, you're hanging from a tree.

You're not even costing them money, you're making them money.

And nobody's gonna hear your bitching, 'cause this is a new legal form of lynching.

This all you got, Padre Miguel?

God loves you. I love you.

And I believe in my heart that you have a higher purpose in this.

I presided over your father's funeral, that mean anything to you?

That enough for your little collection basket?

Thank you for the donation.

Towards the 5,000 dollar bounty leading to the arrest of Patti's killer.

I'll pray for you. Be safe.

Hey, hey-

Come on. Let's go.

Any chance you can pull your pants up?

Yo, Ly, it's me Chi'.

Come to your senses?

I gotta proposition. Speak.

A showdown. A showdown?

That's right. Who?

Me and you. I'm not going to shoot you.

It's not a death match. It's a sex match.

First one to surrender loses.

You lose, you end all this.

No charges filed. You make a public statement apologizing to all men. It's over. Done with.

And when I win?

You get what ever it is you're trying to do.

Pretty damn sure of yourself.

You are cruel.

You're unkind.

I was fine.

Without your love.

And I kinda knew.

I can't unwind.

Now I wanna dance brother Lee.

I'm trying to move.

By your side...

Contact. There he is.

This is better than the goddamn super bowl.

Oh yeah!

Put him on the griddle, dice him, slice him, bake him, stew him on his own caresses.

Justice. I wish.

I pray-

We should all pray.

What it do?

Sup? Been a while.

Three months, 13 days, three hours, seven minutes and two seconds.

Counting' days, my Bae?

It's how long we women have been on strike.

See, you still on fleek.

Not playin' meek.


You know I got feelings for you.

Feelings for me?

Down to the bone.

Chi, I'm not picking' a bone with you.

I know you miss Daddy Dick Nasty.

Not more than you miss this steamy, creamy hot butter biscuit.

Hot butter biscuit!

I'm set afire wit' desire.

Bring it out!

A brass bed! That's enemy led.

That's a big ass brass bed for banging black booty!

What? My wife's bi-racial.

Whoever comes first, loses.

We had some good times.

A few.

Especially in the A.M.

You always liked it in the morning.

Like you liked it at night.

Yeah. Right tight.

I miss you.

I missed you back. You got them bedroom eyes.

Like your man Biggie said, they "Hypnotize."

Or like your man Tupac said, "How do you want it?"

Remember our first? It was in the club.

You was looking too damn good.

I had the chicken and waffles, you had ribs.

Took you to the crib.

Showed you how I live.

Got you some wine.

Yeah, beautiful time.

You smell good.

I know.

Now what about peace?


You're the only peace I need.

Turn them goddamn muthafuckin' lights out!

Come on, baby. Come. Come for me.

Come for me, baby.


Oh Chi!

Doing it to me.

We gonna win! We gonna win!

Oh shit! Oh shit!

We done, yo.


That's my man!

What? We done.

You know we wrong, right? Fuck you mean we wrong?

Dead wrong!

I want my woman Indigo more than I want a dead yo Spartan Purple.

Not getting some cause we out here acting dumb?

I'd rather my Glock don't cock than my nuts stay numb!

Lysistrata took no pity, turned out every gangster in the city.

Global, really...

I asked Cyclops to be here.

You been played for peace!

This 411, listen to your queen, son.

Had time to reevaluate my shit.

And don't think I turned bitch.

But muthafuckas like us in the life, we too need to strike.

Put some change in our refrain and stop all of this killing pain.


We, The United Federation of Gangsterism for The State of Drillinois, hereby decree, we cashing in our chips.

We done with all of this dumb shit.

Now we just waiting on you...

So what it be, Chi?

Yeah, yeah, whatever nigga.

Look, I'm over here putting in work.

I got this!

I'm about to win!

We got this!

We got nothing!

Every Fortune 500 Company has signed The Peace Accord, ensuring that every person in the hoods of America of employment age is guaranteed a job, and I don't mean minimum wage either.

New hospitals and mental health facilities will be built by The United States Government.

And finally, there will be a much- needed trauma center.

On Chicago's South side.

Lysistrata, this is what justice looks like.

We will now sign The Peace Accord.

Peace is not the absence of war, but a new found love for one another.

Your Johnsons brought you to the table but that truce is unstable.

We need truth and reconciliation for the victims, the ones that live with this pain of loss and must deal with long term human cost.


We are Mothers of the Hood.

All have lost someone to this senseless war.

There will be no birthdays for them.

No first dates.

No walks down the aisles.

No tomorrows.

Why the fuck y'all got me on full blast?

Why y'all trying' to put me on front street?

This is my Pam, she's ten years old I don't wanna hear that shit...

Chi, please!

One summer day, back when we lived in The Cabrini Green Projects, Pam was outside... jumping double dutch when they started shooting.

She was shot through her left eye by a stray bullet.

This was over twenty years ago and children dying from stray bullets wasn't a common occurrence like it is today.

Days later a young man came to my apartment.

He begged my forgiveness,

then he confessed to the police.

Back then, it was a violation of the gang code to murder children.

He knew...

He knew that if he didn't confess to me and the police that the gangs would end his life.

And that man was your father.


Never knew him.

Only heard stories.

He got killed in prison when I was just a shorty.

He tried to be a good man.

You can be a good man.

Be a good man.

Be a good man...

Be a good man...

Be a good man...

Be a good man...

Be a good man...

I did dirt.

You have something you want to say?

I killed your Baby Patti.

It was an accident.


Pray for me. Please...

What y'all looking at?

Time for you to do the same.

Take the blame. Take the claim.

Take it on the chin and confess your sin.

Be a man and quit trying to suppress this pain you in.

Hell of a mess this gang you in.

Sleepless nights!

Too weak to fight, couldn't reach us to teach us right.

Our crying mothers, our dying brothers.

D and D, that's what they want us to be, Deaf and dumb.

But you see, the only ones we protecting is the gun.

So run, nigga, run, I let it run outta me.

Cause I'm finally free from all these demons.

Finally I'm leaving! Finally I'm breathing!

So bring the truth! Bring the truth!

Bring the truth, brother! Bring it!

He'll be all right. Chi-Raq can take care of himself.

That's Demetrius.

That's not Chi-Raq.

As Stevie Wonder sings.

"All In Love ls Fair."

I ain't too sure about that but for now, I'll say yeah!

Lysistrata formed an army more powerful than the Roman Empire.

Burned through the city, just like that Chicago fire.

So remember, Queen Prophet, Lysistrata.

And the lessons that she taught you.

The only real security is love, y'all.

Let's all together make Chi-Raq back into Chicago, City of the Broad Shoulders.

Peace, two fingers.

Hope it helped -> bozxphd