Chicken Run (2000) Script

l'm stuck.

Get back!


Mr. Tweedy!

What is that chicken doing outside the fence? l don't know, luv. Just deal with it. Now!

l'll teach you to make a fool out of me.

Let that be a lesson to you!

No chicken escapes from Tweedy's farm!


Morning, Ginger.

Back from holiday? l wasn't on holiday. l was in solitary confinement. lt's nice to get a bit of time to yourself, isn't it?

Roll call! Come along. You'll be late for parade.

Pip, pip. Quick march.

Left right ...

Come on, smarten up!

Discipline! Order!

Back in my RAF days, when an officer called for a scramble, you'd hop in the old crate and chocks away!

Keep over, you old fool. They just want to count us.

How dare you talk back to a senior ranking officer!

Back in my RAF days ... Fowler, they're coming.

Right, right!

There'll be a reprimand, lad. You're grounded.

Attention!

Welcome back, hen. ls there a new plan?

We've already tried going under.

Over. Right.

How's the egg count? l laid 5 eggs today.

Well chuffed with that, l was.

Oh no.

Why didn't you give her some of yours? She didn't tell me.

She didn't tell anyone.

ls Edwina off on holiday?


We've got to get out of here.

Are we still on? We're on, all right.

Spread the word, Mac. Meeting tonight in Hut 17.


You called?

Nick and ... Fetcher. - At your service.

Over here.

We need more things. Right you are, Miss.

How about this quality tea set?

A lovely necklace and pendant.

Or this number. All the rage in the fashionable Paris chicken coops.

Simply pop it on, and as the French say: "Voila!"

That is French. lt's two hats in one, Miss. For parties. For weddings.

Madame, you look like a vision, like a dream.

Like a duck. No, thank you.

We're making this. We need this. Can you get it?

This is a big job, Miss. Bigger than the others.

This will cost. The usual: one bag of seed.

You call this pay? lt's chicken feed.

What could we give you? Eggs.

We can't. Our eggs are too valuable.

So are we.

After you, Fetcher.

After l what?

Move!


Stupid, worthless creatures! l'm sick and tired of making minuscule profits.


Oh, yes.

Those chickens are up to something.

Quiet. l'm onto something.

They're organized.

Quiet! That ginger one is their leader.

l may have found a way to make some real money.

What are you on about? Ridiculous notions of escaping chickens. lt's all in your head, Mr. Tweedy. Say it. lt's all in my head.

Now you keep telling yourself that, because l won't hear another word about it. ls that clear?

Yes, luv.

But the ginger one!

They're chickens, you dolt! Apart from you, they're the most stupid creatures on the planet!

They don't plot, they don't scheme, and they're not organized!

Order! Order!

Quiet, everyone.

Settle down. l would like to call to order ... Quiet!

Discipline in the ranks! What! What!

Thank you, Fowler. ln my RAF days, we never wasted time with unnecessary chitchat. Yes, thank you, Fowler.

Right.

Carry on.

Our last escape attempt was a bit of a fiasco, but Mac and l have a new plan.

Show them, Mac. - We tried going under that wire, and it didn't work.

So the plan is: we go over it.

This is us, right? We get in like this and wind her up, and let her go!

Good grief! The turnip's bought it.

Farmer's coming!

Operation Cover-Up!


Mr. Tweedy, where are you? lt's all in your head.

Think, everyone. What haven't we tried yet?

We haven't tried not trying to escape.

Might work.

What about Edwina?

How many more empty nests will it take?

Maybe she should have spent more time laying eggs and less time escaping. Laying eggs, then getting plucked and roasted is good enough for you? lt's a living.

The fences aren't just around the farm.

They're up here in your heads.

There is a better place out there.

Somewhere beyond that hill, it has wide open spaces and lots of trees.

And grass. Can you imagine that?

Cool, green grass.

Who feeds us?

We feed ourselves. Where's the farm?

There is no farm. Then where does the farmer live?

There is no farmer. ls he on holiday?

He isn't anywhere. Don't you get it?

No egg count, no farmers, no dogs, no coops and keys and no fences! ln all my life l've never heard such a fantastic load of tripe!

Face the facts, ducks.

The chance of us getting out are a million to one.

Then there's still a chance!


Oh, no!

Who am l fooling? l can't lead this bunch of ...

Heaven help us.

Freedom!

Ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience.

That's it. lnside, quickly!

Here's our way out!

We'll make posters?

What's on the posters, Babs? We'll fly out.

Must be important to be on a poster. l wonder what he does.

Obviously, he's a professional flying rooster.

Flies around giving demonstrations.

Do you suppose? Absolutely!

No, not in there!

Get out!

Who are you? Where am l? What happened to my wing?

You took a nasty fall. Spraining the anterior tendon connecting the radius to the humerus. l wrapped it.

Was that English? She fixed your wing. l made the bandage. l carried you in.

Back up and start from the top. Where am l?

How rude of us. We're just excited ... This is a chicken farm.

And we're the chickens.

With you so far. Chicken farm, chickens. l don't like his look.

His eyes are too close together.

And he's a Yank! - Cockfighting's illegal where l come from.

Where is that? - A place l call home of the free, land of the brave.

Scotland!

No! America.

Poppycock!

Pushy Americans. Always showing up late for every war.

Overpaid, oversexed and over here.

What's eating grandpa? Don't mind him, Mister ...

My name's Rocky, the Rhode lsland Red. Rhodes for short.

Rocky Rhodes!

Catchy, ain't it?

Mr. Rhodes, is this you?

Who wants to know?

A group of desperate chickens. lf it's you, you may be the answer to our prayers.

Then call me a miracle, dollface, 'cause that's me.

What brings you to England, Mr. Rhodes?

All the beautiful English chicks, of course.

Give over! l'm a traveler. l did that barnyard thing for a while, but couldn't get into it. Hi. How are you?

Nope!

The open road is more my style. Put a pack on my back and point me where the wind blows.

Know what they call me back home?

You'll love this. The Lone Free-Ranger. lsn't that great? l knew it was possible. lt's possible!

The answer had to come! Amen!

We'll fly over that fence, and Mr. Rhodes will show us how. Right?

That's ri ... What? Did you say "fly?"

You can teach us. No, l can't.

Listen! You hear that?

The open road's calling, and l have to answer.

Bye.

He must have very good hearing.

Okay, where's the exit? This way.

Mr. Rhodes? Perhaps l didn't explain our situation properly.

We lay eggs, day in, day out.

When we can't lay any more, they kill us. lt's a cruel world, dollface. Better get used to it.

Which part of "they kill us" don't you understand? l got my own set of problems.

Besides, it can't be that hard to bust out of here.

Watch me. lt's not so hard for a chicken or two to get out, but it's about all of us.

All of you? - l've been trying to tell you. - Let's get it straight.

You want to get every chicken out of here at once?

Of course. You're certifiable.

You can't pull that off. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Couldn't agree more. And l will be leaving. That way.

Mr. Rhodes, please!


So that's it. You're from the circus.

You're on the run, aren't you?

Keep it down! l'm trying to lay low here. l should turn you in right now. You wouldn't.

Would you? Why not?

Because l'm cute?

Hey, hey. You crazy chick!

You know what'll happen if he finds me? - lt's a cruel world. l don't like you. l don't care.

Show us how to fly. - With this wing? Teach us, then.

He's valuable, you say?

Sure. Get the torch.

Listen here, sister. l'm not going back to that life. l'm a Lone Free-Ranger. Emphasis on "free."

And that's what we want ... freedom.

Fancy that, they're coming.

Oh, no! They're onto me!

Teach us to fly. We'll hide you. And if l don't?

Was your father by any chance a vulture?

Do we have a deal?

Time to make good on that deal, dollface. - The name is Ginger.

Comfortable? Not really.

Maybe this will help.

Nice hideout. l had more room in my egg.

We held up our end of it. Tomorrow you hold up yours.

What deal? Flying.

Oh, yeah. Don't worry. l'll teach you everything l know.

Which bunk is mine?

Absolutely outrageous!

Asking a senior officer to share his quarters.

And with a non-commissioned Yank, no less!

Why, back in my day ...

You weren't exactly my first choice either.

Scoot over. Your wing's on my side of the bunk.

Your side of the bunk? The whole bunk is my side!

What is that smell? ls that your breath?

Absolutely outrageous!

So you want to fly, huh?

Well, it ain't going to be easy. And it ain't going to happen overnight.

Flying takes three things: hard work, perseverance and hard work. You said "hard work" twice!

Because it takes twice as much hard work as perseverance.

Codswallop!

Cocky Yanks think they know it all.

The most important thing is we have to work as a team.

Which means, you do everything l tell you.

Let's rock 'n roll.


The chickens are ...

... pecking?

And left, two, three.

And right, two, three.

And stop right there.

Yes, down.

Make little circles.

Faster.

Oh, that's the spot!

l thought you were going to teach us to fly.

That's what l'm doing. lsn't there usually some flapping involved?

Do l tell you how to lay eggs?

Relax. We're making progress.

Really? l can't help feeling we're going around in circles.

Hey, cut it out! You're making me dizzy.

They're ready to fly now.

Good, 'cause they can't walk anymore.

Up and at 'em!

Let's flap.

Let's see if old Attila the Hen has come to her senses.

lt's raining hen!

What's this caper, luv? We're flying. - Obviously.

Flipping hell. Look at this. They're going to kill themselves.

Want to watch? All right.

Careful of those eggs!

Sunny-side up.

Now over easy.

Definitely scrambled.

Poultry in motion.

Birds of a feather flop together.

Great work, ladies.

The pain you're feeling is a good thing.

Pain is your friend.

Just keep the faith ... Agnes. You'll get there.

You flew four feet today.

Yeah, four feet. From the roof to the ground.

All part of the process. Don't worry. You cheesy little ...

That doesn't sound good.

The ground's shaking. Are we worried?

Are we worried?

The circus! Quick! Hide me!

Hide me! Come on.

One isn't awarded a medal for flapping about like a lunatic.

Now see here! This is an officer's quarters! ln here! Get out of here now!

Give it a rest, Pops!

What? l shall have you on charges within the week!


Cheers, mate.

lt's all in your head.

What's all this?

This is our future, Mr. Tweedy.

No more wasting time with petty egg collection and minuscule profits. No eggs?

We've always been egg farmers. My father, his father and their fathers. They were always ...

Poor! Worthless! Nothings!

But that's about to change.

This will take Tweedy's farm out of the Dark Ages and into full-scale automated production.

Melisha Tweedy will be poor no longer.

l'll put it together, shall l?

That isn't good. Whatever's in those boxes is for us.

And l doubt it's softer than hay. l hate to be the voice of doom, but l've been calculating. l don't think we're built for flying.

But l saw him! He flew in over that fence! l believe you, but if we could see it for ourselves it might answer some questions.

You're right. We've been at this all week. We're getting nowhere. lf his wing were better ... l'll talk to him.

Where is he?

They didn't give me this medal for being a Yank nanny.

"l don't know" would suffice.

Beware of that one, young Ginger.

That Yank is not to be trusted.

That Yank is our ticket out of here.

And the pig says to the horse, "Why the long face?"

Cocktail!

Give over!

So anyway ...

Remember those flying tips.

They're very important. And think flighty thoughts.

They're swell chicks.

Look what Babs made me. A beak warmer. lsn't that cute?

And that Bunty. She really packs a pun.

A problem?

Have we flown over the fence? Not quite. - There's a problem.

Good things come to those who wait.

How long did it take you? To do what? - To learn to fly.

Apples and oranges. l'm gifted, they're not.

You can't compare the two. These things take time.

Which we're running out of. Why haven't we lifted off yet? - Thrust. l went over my calculations. What we're missing is thrust.

l didn't get a word of that.

Thrust. When ducks and geese take off, what do they have?

She ain't using real words.

She said we need more thrust. Thrust!

Sure. Thrust and flying are like this.

Flying and thrust.

Will you excuse us?

The wing!

No results by tomorrow, and the deal's off.

No more hiding. The farmers'll find you and back to the circus, fly boy.

You're the first chick l ever met with the shell still on.

Sleep tight, angel face. The Rock's on the case.

What? What?

A beaut. A fine piece of work. lf l do say so myself. l say so myself, too. Wish l'd seen it.

We slipped into the farmer's room. Like a fish.

And we ...

Like a fish?

You stupid idiot!

Anyway, here it is.

El merchandiso! That's Spanish.

What're these two crooks doing here?

So, you know each other! She don't think we're valuable.

You guys are the sneakiest, thieving parasites l've ever met.

Don't. Stop it. l've gone bright red.

So, how about the eggs?

Eggs? You promised them ...

Yep, l promised them every egg l lay this month.

When can we expect the first one? l'm brewing one up now. l'll keep you posted.

A pleasure doing business with you.

Sucker.

What? You lied to them. l didn't lie, dollface. l just omitted certain truths. l'll give them what l promised. Nothing. - Which they'll get.

And what will you give us?

Thrust.

You okay, sweetheart? Good, good.

Now this will get you going. lt's a thrust exercise.

The tension's killing me. lt's gonna kill her.

Release!

Come on, flap!

You can do it. Flap!

ls that your first of-fence?

Roll call! l haven't laid any eggs.

Three days, not one.

Why didn't you tell us? l was so busy flying ...

They're coming! Hide me!

Hide yourself!


Double their food rations. l want them all as fat as this one.

All of my life flashed before my eyes. lt was really boring.

Chicken feed!

My favorite!

Wait!

No, wait!

Babs, please! Bunty.

Stop it! Wait!

Stop!

Stop it!

Something is wrong here. Can't you see that?

Strange boxes arrive. Babs stops laying, but she isn't taken to the chop. Extra food.

Don't you see? They're fattening us up.

They're going to kill us all!

Heavy alert!

She didn't mean that, gals. Do you mind? - Save some for me.

What are you doing?

Let go! l've met some hard-boiled eggs before, but you're about 20 minutes.

Meaning what? Meaning, lighten up. ln America we have a rule: To motivate someone, don't mention death!

Funny. Over here the rule is: Always tell the truth! lt's been working like a charm.

You want them to perform, tell them what they want to hear.

You mean lie?

Here we go again.

Know what your problem is? You're ... difficult.

Why? Because l'm honest? l care about them. Something the Lone Free-Ranger doesn't know about. Then l hope you never care about me. l never will. Good. - Fine.


What's all this?

Here she is. Ask and you shall receive.

That's biblical. That's real craftsmanship.

Solid as a rock.

lt's supposed to do that.

Perfect, guys.

How's that egg coming?

This is a double yolker.

l don't see what it has to do with ... You will.

We've been working hard. Let's relax and shake those tail feathers.

Look at him! Nellpodging around like a ...

Good heavens!

What's happening?

That's called a beat. Feel it pulsing through your body?

Oh yes. Who'd have guessed?

Then go with it, baby!

Look, l'm going with it!

Bunty, what's got into you?

Same thing that's got into you.

Just go with the flow.

l don't recall authorizing a hop.

Shut up and dance.

What are you sobbing about, you nancy?

Little moments like this ... it's what makes the job all worthwhile.

Want to dance?

Yeah, all right.


Did you see that? l flew!

Atta girl, Babsy! Atta girl.

Your wing! lt's better!

How about that? Fantastic!

You can fly for us tomorrow.

Yeah, so it seems. l flew! l owe you an apology. l didn't think you cared, but after all this ...

Well, it seems l was wrong.

Easy, Miss Hard-Boiled. l might think you're turning soft.

Listen. l have to tell you something.

No! You'd better wait.


That's champion ... What is it?

A pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in. Pies come out. What kind of pies?

Apple.

My favorite.

Chicken pies, you lummox! lmagine: ln less than a fortnight, every grocer will be stocked with boxes of Mrs. Tweedy's Homemade Chicken Pies.

Just "Mrs."? - Woman's touch. Makes the public feel comfortable.

Oh, right. How does it work?

Get me a chicken, and l'll show you. l know just the one.

l've got a score to settle with you.

Bloomin' heck! They've got Ginger!

We mustn't panic! We mustn't panic!

Quiet, l say! Let's have some discipline!

The enemy has a prisoner. This calls for retaliation! Retaliation! What's going on?

They got Ginger. They're taking her to the chop!

What are you waiting for, laddie?

Fly over there. Save her.

Of course! No!

Just what they'd expect. Give them the old element of surprise!

And catch Jerry with his trousers down! l like that. What's the plan?

The plan ...

The plan ... Babs!

Give me that thing. Bunty, give me a boost.

Look at the size of that thing.

Oh, no.

Chickens go in, pies come out.

Chicken pies. Not apple pies.

Chicken!

Great! Brilliant!

Yo! Baby doll! l'm coming! Hurry! l'm still coming! Come on! Stop this thing! l'm getting there.

Shoot!

l'll be down before you can say ... mixed vegetables?


D'oh! Get it?

Dough. l'm stuck!

Nothing to it.

Hang on.

Look out.


lt's like an oven in here.

Come on!

Wait!

Go over to the ...

The door! Come on!


She's gonna blow! Run!

What did you do, you great pudding? - Nothing.

Turn it off! lt won't turn off!


We've got to show the others. Come on!

Look. l fixed it.

Chicken pies?

Yes, but ... l don't want to be a pie! l don't like gravy.

Ladies, let's not lose our heads.

Lose our heads?

What l meant was, Rocky sabotaged the machine and bought us more time.

And better still, he's going to fly for us tomorrow.

Once we see how, l know we'll get it.

So don't worry. Tomorrow everything is going to go much smoother.

Alright, Pops, what did l do now?

A very brave and honorable deed.

ln the light of your action today, l dutifully admit that l misjudged your character. l present you with this medal for bravery.

And l salute you.

ln honor of this occasion, l surrender the bunk entirely. l shall sleep under the stars.

l await tomorrow's flying demonstration with great anticipation.

You and me both, Pops.

Oh, were you ...? ls this your ...?

Since you're here ... l'm glad you're here ...

You go first. You go ahead.

l just wanted to say, l may have been a bit harsh at first ...

What l really mean is ... thank you for saving my life.

For saving our lives.

You know, l come up here every night and look at that hill, imagining what it's like on the other side. lt's funny ... l've never actually felt grass beneath my feet. l'm sorry. l'm rambling on about grass, and you had something to say.

lt's just that ... life, as l've experienced it, out there lone free-ranging and stuff ... lt's full of disappointments.

So grass isn't all it's cracked up to be?

Grass! Exactly. lt's always greener on the other side.

And then you get there, and it's brown and prickly. See what l'm saying?

What l'm trying to say is ...

you're welcome.

You know, that hill is looking closer tonight than it ever has before.

Good night, Rocky.

Good night, Ginger.


Company, attention!

Today's the day, girls. We're going to fly. l can feel it.

Finally, we get to see a professional in action.

Start warming up. l'll go get him.

Rocky? Knock, knock.

Everyone's waiting, so l told them ...


A cannon.

That'd give you a thrust. l knew he was fake all along. ln fact, l'm not even sure if he was American.

What's the next plan?

Face it. The only way we get out is wrapped in pastry.

Perhaps he just went on holiday. Perhaps he left to get away from your infernal knitting!

You always hit him. See how you like it.

Don't push me, four-eyes!

Quiet!

Quiet, l say! Dissention in the ranks. Just what Jerry wants. The old divide and conquer.

A proper squadron work together, just like we did in my RAF days.

Jocko at the stick, Flappy at the map, and Whizzbang at the tail-end Charlie.

Wingco would give the call, hop in the old crate, chocks away!

That's how you get medals!

Will you shut up about your stupid bloomin' medals!

How dare you!

Forgive me. As an officer ...


Everyone, shut up!

What exactly is the RAF?

What do you mean?

The Royal Air Force is what.

Then what's the "old crate"?

There she is!

Gorgeous, isn't she? - You mean, you flew? ln one of these?

Beautifully built. ln fact, there's a bit of a story there.

We were on a reconnaissance flight, when the weather duffed up.

Yes ... of course.

We may be able to pull this off.

We're still flying out of here.

Fowler's provided the answer. l have?

Oh, yes. Of course l have.

How have l?

We'll make a crate.

Mac, you'll handle engineering.

Babs, manufacturing.

Fowler is chief aviation adviser.

Bunty, eggs.

Eggs?

Right. Like the ones the rooster was going to lay.

Only roosters don't lay eggs, do they?

Don't they? - lt's a lady thing, apparently. Ask your mum.

One egg per item on the list.

First payment in advance. Right. When do we start?

What the dickens?

Oh, gnomes now!


Eggs from heaven! No, from her bum.


ldiot!

That was close. Too close.

We can't stop now. Everyone, go for it.

Go, go!

Mac! We need the calculations quick.

Agnes, that has to be really secure.

Careful up there, Fowler!

Bunty, give him a hand. Well done, Babs. Keep it up!

No problem, dollface.


Ah, boy.

Come on.

Please!

Oh, no.

He's fixed it.

Get the chickens.

Which ones?

All of them!

My tools!

Thieving little buggers.

What's the plan?

Attack!

Nice plan.

The chickens are revolting!

Finally, something we agree on.

Help!

Under the hut!

What have we done? This is it.

We're escaping!

What? Now?

Now!

But she's not ready. Listen!

We either die free chickens or die trying.

Are those the only choices? Let's do it!

Scramble!


The exits are located here and here. ln the likely event of an emergency, put your head between your knees ...

... and kiss your bum goodbye.

Okay, Fowler. Ready for takeoff.

Behind you all the way.

You're supposed to be up there. You're the pilot!

Don't be ridiculous. l can't fly this contraption.

But back in your day ... the Royal Air Force.

644 Squadron, poultry division. We were the mascots.

You mean you never flew the plane?

Good heavens, no. l'm a chicken.

The Royal Air Force doesn't let chickens fly a complex aircraft!

We're all gonna die. Fowler, you have to fly it.

You always talk about "back in your day."

Well, today is your day.

You can do it, you old sausage.

Wing Commander T.l.Fowler, reporting for duty.

What're you waiting for? Let's get this crate off the ground!

Fowler, now!

Roger! Contact!

Cleared for takeoff!

Chocks away!

Full throttle!


We need more power! l can't work miracles.

We're givin' her all she's got!

Gotcha!

Hard right!

Oh, mother.

Turn her around. l'll get the ramp.

Put the ramp down!

You are going to be a pie.


Look out!

Clear the runway!


Let's go!

We're flying!

That's for leaving.

And this is for coming back.

Great Scott! What was that?

A cling-on!

The engines can't take it!

My goodness!

Babs! Scissors!

Lower me down. But ... - Just do it. lncrease velocity!

What's that mean? Pedal your flippin' giblets out!

Lower! l'm trying!

Look out!


Fire! Fire!

My eggs!

More ammo! Hurry!

We got no more eggs!

Look out!

No!

Bombs away!

Mr. Tweedy!

That was good! That was good!

The old bird bought it!


l told you they was organized.

We did it, everyone!


Keep pedaling. We're not there yet.

You can't see paradise if you don't pedal.

Put your drumsticks into it.

That's what l told them. We were losing altitude, heading for ...

A lovely holiday. l'll be sad to go back.

Safety at all times is imperative.

Wind her up and let her go.

So ... ls it as good as you imagined? No. lt's better. l'll show you how to play cricket.

Here's a thought.

Let's get an egg and start our own chicken farm.

We'll have all the eggs we can eat. Right.

We'll need a chicken then. No, an egg first.

That's where the chicken comes from.

No. Without the chicken where do you get the egg?

From a chicken ... that comes from the egg.

But you need an egg to have a chicken.

You got to get the chicken first to get the egg.

Then you get the chicken.

Hang on. Let's go over this again.


He gets everything. - Everything. You said it, mate! - l know.


The egg, obviously.

Rolling along happily, then crack! lt hatches the first chicken.

But where'd the egg come from?

What do you mean? - Egg comes rolling along happily and wonders, where'd it come from without a chicken? No eggs come rolling along.

Without an egg to hatch the chicken there'll be no chicken to lay the first egg. - Have we got 2 eggs now? - No, still the first egg.

What about the first chicken? lt's in the very first egg.

Guys! l'm trying to enjoy paradise.

Sorry, guv. Won't happen again.

Thanks.

Gitface. Pillock.

Thinks he's such a big shot, 'cause his name's on a poster.

They're all the same. The rats are the stars.

Yes, we do all the hard work,