Christine (1983) Script

Holy shit!

Come on, Arnie.

He's coming.

He's changing his shirt.

That's noise pollution, what you're doing.

You might as well be dumping toxic waste on our lawn.

Hey, Dennis. I'll be right there.

Just leave it. It's okay. Go on.

Uh, Arnie, your lunch!

And try and keep it cold. There's yogurt in there.


Slow down!

Are you guys having a war?

She's pissed off 'cause I'm taking shop.

Like it embarrasses her or something. My dad too.

It won't embarrass 'em when their stupid Volvo breaks down and you fix it for free.

Last night, we're playing scrabble, it's neck and neck between me and her.

We blew my dad away early.

So right at the end, I had this choice of using "ratio" for five lousy points, or...

Or what, Arnie?

"Fellatio" on a triple word score for 24 points and the game.

What'd she do?

She wouldn't let me have it. She won by seven points.

She said obscenity's not allowed in scrabble.

I looked it up. It's in the dictionary.

You jerk, Arnie.


You know, Arnie, I was thinking...


No, seriously.

Now that we're going to be seniors, I figured it's about time we got you laid.

Like this year.

You need a girl to get laid.

What about Gail Justin?

Oh, Gail just in case? I don't like her mustache.

What do you care if you get a little hair in your mouth?

Okay. How about Sally Hayes? She's cute.

She's a sophomore!

She's a walking sperm bank. I know. Come on.

I don't have the minimum deposit to open an account.

Are you kidding? You carry your life savings between your legs.

Come on, Arnie.

I think maybe I'll just beat off.

Are you playing football this year?

Somebody's gotta pick it up when you fumble.

Ha ha. How's your gimpy knee?

Better. Coach wants me to practice.

Well, it's about time. I've been eating dirt with your name on it for the past three weeks.

Hi, Dennis.

Oh, hey, Roseanne.

How you doing?

I'm okay. They gonna let you play football this year?

Yeah. Doc says I'm as good as new.

I guess I'll be seeing you out there.

I hope so.

Well... T.T.F.N.

Yeah. Ta-ta for now.

I wouldn't put that in my mouth.

You don't know where it's been.

We know where it hasn't been. Hasn't been with you.

Having trouble with your locker?


Seen the new girl?

I just got here.

Dennis, I'm in love. She's perfect, and you know how fussy I am.

I never noticed you were fussy.

Drop dead, Cunningham.

What's her name?

I don't know. She's in the office.

She looks smart, but she's got the body of a slut.

Oh, shit.

Here she comes.

Give me something for my lap.

We have one heck of a marching band.

Went to the rose parade last year.

Not a bad way to meet boys.

I would like to get involved with the yearbook.

We have a terrific yearbook staff.

They won a prize last year.

What do you think about admitting red China into the U.N.?

I think we already did that.

Do you think it was a good idea?

She smiled at me.

I want to have deep, meaningful sex with her.

Go get her, Bemis.

Think I should?

You've got nothing to lose but your virginity.

Dennis, can you give me a hand?

I can't...


He doesn't have a chance.

Oh, I don't think so either.

She's much too classy for him.

There you go.

What did you do?

Lucky. See you at lunch.


Hey, Charlie. Have you seen Arnie?

Yeah. He's still in the shop.

What's the matter?

Buddy Repperton has his lunch.

Buddy Repperton.

Hi, Denni—

Go on, pizza face.

Do you want it? Come get it!

If it's yours, why doesn't it have your name on here?

"Arnie Cuntingham."

Why doesn't it say "Cuntingham"?

Just take it, Arnie, and let's go eat.

Yeah. That's all you got to do. Come on.

Come on.

That's funny, buddy, real funny.

Go get Mr. Casey.

Come on. Want to go for it?

Put the knife down and I will.

Put down the knife, Repperton.

You want to make me?

You got a knife and he doesn't.

In my book, that makes you a chickenshit.

Yeah. That's chickenshit.

Oh, yeah? Put it down, buddy.

Put down the knife.

Come on, buddy, just put down the knife, okay?

Just put it down.

Get him, man!

Come on, stick him.

Stick him, buddy.

How do you like that, dickface?

All right, break it up!

You kids take a walk. Get lost.

Not you, Moochie.

I ain't been doing nothing.

You all right, Dennis?

Yeah, I'm okay.

I'm okay.

Real cute. Three on one.

They started it.

That's not true.

Shut up, cuntface!

Shut your mouth!

I don't have to listen to garbage like that coming from you, buddy!

What were you saying, Arnie?

Repperton's got a knife.

You fucking liar!

It's a switchblade.

That's bullshit, Mr. Casey.

He's lying. I swear to God.

Cunningham, did Repperton here pull a knife on you?


Empty your pockets, buddy.

Fuck I will.

You can't make me.

You mean I don't have the authority, you're wrong.

I can turn out your pockets— Try it, and I'll knock you through the wall!

You two go up to the office.

Stay there. You've got enough trouble.

If you don't empty your pockets, I'll call the cops.

Go to the office, buddy.

I'll fix you!

You'll wish you were never fucking born!

All in all, it wasn't a bad first day.

Think Repperton will try to get even?

No, he's a douche bag.

He'll find somebody else to pick on.

They kicked him out.

Good. They kick Moochie out?


Those assholes.

Stop the car! Go back! Go back.

What's the matter?

I want to look at her! All right, Arnie.

Just go back!

Jesus Christ.

What is it?

Do you know someone who lives here?



Be careful, Dennis.

This is a piece of shit, Arnie.

She could be fixed up.

She could. Yeah.

Oh, she could be really tough.

Forget it, Arnie.

This baby's got 93,000 Miles on it.

Probably 193.

I don't care.

I bet it won't even start.

She'll start.

You need these.

How much do you want for her?

Whatever it is, it's not enough.

Jesus, Arnie.

You ever owned a car before?

Yeah, he owns a mustang.

No. I just got my license.

Name's George Lebay.

Arnie Cunningham.

What are you asking?

Start her up.


Her name's Christine.

I like that.

We got to go.

My asshole brother bought her in '57.

You got your new model year in September.

Brand new, she was.

She had the smell of a brand new car.

That's just about the finest smell in the world, except maybe for pussy.

When he got her, she had six Miles on the odometer.

Goddamn Roland went through hell and back with Christine.

If your brother loves this car so much, why is he selling it?

'Cause he's stone cold dead.

Died six weeks ago.

So, Mr. Lebay...

How much do you want for her?

I've been asking 300.

I'll make it 250 for you.


This isn't worth $50.

The money's not important.

There'll be no bringing her back.

I'm selling this shithole and buying a condo.

You got a deal.

I'll get the pink slip.

Arnie, stop and think about this.

Where are you getting the money?

I've been saving.

Yeah, for college. Easy for you to say. You already have a car.

He's screwing you.

You could get a decent car for that much money.

Christine is decent.

The guy's weird, Arnie.

He's fucking weird.

So, um, that was 300?

Yeah, that's it.

You said 250.

250 would do it.

Let's just come back tomorrow.

Do you realize she's 20 years old?

I mean, that makes her officially an antique.

Great. Darnell's junkyard is full of official antiques.

I'm buying her.

I don't care what you say.

It's your funeral, man.

Would you give Arnie a break?

He doesn't know what he's doing.

You don't know half as much as you think you do, shitter.

You did what?

She's outside.

You're kidding, right?

You can't buy a car.

What are you talking about?

You're 17 years old.

Oh, boy.

Actually, you're wrong.

I couldn't finance it, but buying it for cash is no problem.

Registering a car at 17 is something else, and for that I need your permission.

You know how we do things.

You could've consulted with us.

I've consulted with you about everything I've ever done.

Everything in this house is a committee meeting, and if it's something I want, I'm outvoted two to one!

This is no committee meeting. The car's mine! That's it!

It most certainly is not it!

How could you have let him do this?

I didn't let him.

He wanted the car and he bought it.

I tried to talk him out of it.

Mmm. I doubt you tried very hard.

Yeah, well, I'm going home.

I think you should.

That's it. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

What did you say?

You wanted me in college courses? I'm there.

You wanted me in chess club instead of the band? Okay, I'm there too.

I've managed to get through 17 years without embarrassing you in front of your bridge club or landing in jail!

I'm going to have this one thing!

You are not keeping any car at this house.


Thanks for the milk.

What's the problem?

Could you honk your horn for me?

Christine's doesn't seem to work.


Stall 20.

Stall 20!

Get it over there and shut it off before we all choke to death.

You sold him that piece of shit, you oughta be ashamed of yourself.

I didn't sell it to him.

I tried to talk him out of it.

You should have tried harder.

I knew a guy who had a car like that once.

Fuckin' bastard killed himself in it.

Son of a bitch was so mean, you could have poured boiling water down his throat, he would have pissed ice cubes.

That's the last time you run that mechanical asshole in here without an exhaust hose.

Do it once, and you're out.

You understand?


I'll tell you something else.

I don't take any shit from you kids.

This place is for working stiffs gotta keep their cars running so they can put bread on the table.

It's not for snot-nosed kids who want to go dragging.

I don't allow no smoking here neither.

You want a butt, you go out in the junkyard.

I don't smoke. Don't interrupt me, punk.

Don't interrupt me. Don't get smart.

Uh, sir? What?

Those men over there are smoking.

Better tell them to stop.

You trying to help your buddy out of here?


Then shut your pie hole.

I know a creep when I see one.

I'm looking at one right now.

You're on probation.

Screw around with me one time— I don't care how much money you've paid— I'll throw you out on your ass!

You got it? Huh?

Yes, sir.


Now get the hell out. We're closed.

You going to be okay?

Yeah. I'm okay.

You should find yourself another charity besides me and Christine.

What is it about that car?

I don't know.

Maybe it's just that for the first time in my life, I've found something uglier than me.

And I know I can fix her up.

You're not ugly, Arnie.

I know what I am.

Queer, maybe, but not ugly.

Fuck you.


Bug out, Dennis. You don't need this shit.

Where have you been?

You had us worried sick!

You don't up and drive off whenever you—

He's done all this shit in three weeks.

Look how cock-eyed he works.

He's got brand-new windshield wipers for a busted windshield.

Well, the boy does have good hands.

Good hands.

Bad taste in cars.

You know, papa, you can't Polish a turd.

When I said you could scrounge through that shit pile out back, I didn't mean you could build your whole fuckin' car with my stuff.

What do you care?

You're not doing anything with it.

Hey! Don't think you got the gold key to the crapper.

Nobody takes advantage of me, understand?


If it wasn't for me, it'd cost you a whole shitpile of dough to put this heap together.

I know.


I know you ain't got money falling out of your asshole.

If you did, you wouldn't be here.

Maybe we could work out a deal.

You, uh...

Pick up around the place.

Do a few lubes, put the toilet paper on the little spools, shit like that.

Do that and you can, uh...

You can raid my junk pile for whatever you want.

I might even throw in a few bucks.

I'll have to think about it.

Don't think about it too long.

I'll throw you out on your ass.

I'll bet you a dollar she says no.

Just 'cause she shot you down?

She says no to everybody.

Look what she's doing to that pencil.

I wish I was an eraser.

Go on, studly.

Ask her out.

Mind your own business. Just read the book.

Yeah, come on, guilder.

Just don't tip the table over.


What are you reading?



It's pretty boring, huh?


Do you like music?


What about dancing?


Do you think you might, um...

Want to go dancing with me...

Maybe Friday night after the game?

I'm sorry. I can't.

Why not?

I have a date.

Mr. Gilder!

Are you lost?

No, ma'am.

Why don't you return to your seat and get back to work.


Arnie, stay here. Let's talk this over.

This isn't a hotel you drop in and out of.

I don't need this.

What do you need?

I need to leave.

Arnie, come back here!

Hey, Arnie.

Oh, shit.

Greetings to you, too.

Hey, man, no glasses.

You're looking good.

I can't make it.

I meant to call you, but I forgot.

Is Dennis going with you?

Are you going with him?

Uh... am I?

No. I gotta do an errand for Darnell.

Need a ride?

Got his car. Thanks.

Sorry about the movie, but this is work.

Got to go.

Don't worry about it.

Did you have plans with Dennis?

You'll have no friends at all if you treat people this way.

Get off my back!

You're his best friend.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I hardly see him anymore.

Neither do we.

Ever since he bought that car, he's been obsessed with it.

You know what else?

When we signed the registration papers at town hall, they told us the man who owned that car last died in it of carbon monoxide poisoning.


Does Arnie know about that?

Arnie doesn't know anything anymore.

What the hell do you want?

I know about your brother.

I know he died choking on exhaust fumes.

You don't know shit, kid.

My brother died 'cause he wanted to.

He had a rubber hose from the exhaust pipe.

Arnie wouldn't buy that car if he'd known somebody died in it.

You don't know your friend very well.

He had the same look my brother always had.

Probably the only thing my brother ever loved was that car.

If any shitter ever came between him and Christine, if they did, watch out.

His 5-year-old daughter choked to death in it.

He wouldn't get rid of her.

He rode around with the radio blarin', not a care in the world except for Christine.

Only time I interfered was when Rita killed herself.

Who's Rita?

His wife!

He didn't care a rat's ass about her.

She died the same way he did.

I made him get rid of it...

For decency, you know?

The car came back later. Three weeks later.

What do you mean, "came back"?

All right. 50 pass on go.


Want me to go deep?

I'll get you on the second shot.

Hey, Triloni.

Is that Cuntingham’s car?


I know where he keeps it.





Fucking shit!

Get a stretcher! Come on!


Hey, Arnie.

5,000 dirty limericks.

Ought to keep you busy for a while.

This is the third time I've come by.

Must be dynamite drugs. You're always asleep.

Doesn't quite kill the pain.

Rockbridge hasn't won a game since you got hurt.

That makes you some kind of hero, right?

I won't be playing football again.


The doctor says that one centimeter more and I would have been paralyzed from the waist down.

Shitters did some job on you, huh?

So what's this about you and Leigh Cabot?

We like each other okay.

Ho ho. Listen to Mr. Cool.

She's the most beautiful girl in the school.

Well, it's not what you think.

I really respect her mind, and...

She lusts after my body! What can I say?

Fuck you.

I saw you guys at the game.

How'd you get that car fixed up like that?

Oh, just plain old-fashioned hard work.

I still can't keep her at home.

Mom says the yard looks crowded.

I'm surprised they let you register it.

Told 'em if they didn't, I'd drop out of school.

Are you serious?


They just don't want me to grow up.

Then they'd have to face getting old.

Has it ever occurred to you...

That part of being a parent...

Is trying to kill your kids?

See you around, pal.

I'm sorry, Arnie. I can't.

I'm sorry.

What's the matter?

What's wrong?

I can't.


In that car.

What are you talking about? Why not?

I hate that car.

You care more about that car than you care about me.

That's crazy, Leigh.

Who do you spend more time with?

Look, uh...

You'll gonna get a cold. Come on.

Come on.

Girls are supposed to be jealous of other girls, not cars.

This car's a girl.

Oh, please.

Cut it out. Don't.

What? You don't like me slapping your girl?

It seems like nobody likes my car these days.

Oh, shit!




What the hell are you doing?

Get your goddamn hands off her!

Whoa, whoa! Hey!

You gonna be all right?

Yeah, I'm fine now.

You scared the hell out of me.

Then get rid of that car.

I'm not going in that car again.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Don't you blame your choking on Christine.

It happened, Arnie.

When I choked, something happened.

The radio came on.

Everything got bright.

What are you saying?

I could've died. You didn't help.

My door was locked.

You didn't want that man to help me either.

I thought he was attacking you.

I didn't know he was gonna do the Heimlich maneuver.

I could have done the Heimlich maneuver. - But you didn't.

There are other things.

That radio?

It only gets those old songs.

Sometimes when we're making out...

It just stalls.

As if the car were jealous, Arnie.

That goddamn car!

I'll get it.

Know what I think?

I think you're just sexually frustrated.

Look, Leigh, uh...

I'm sorry, okay?

Can I call you tomorrow?

I don't know.

Come on.

Come on, Christine.

Come on, baby, please.

It's all right. Everything's the same.


Check this out!

I have to get my wallet out of Christine.

Want to come in?



You know, uh...

I've been thinking.

Maybe we should apply to the same colleges next year.



If we're accepted by the same schools, we could take it as a sign of fate.

You'd have me to help you through the math courses, and if...

Arnie, what's wrong?




Who did this?


Don't touch me, shitter!

This is just what you wanted!

Get away from her! Get away from her!

Arnie, I'm sorry.




That is, we— It's your fault.

If you hadn't been so damn selfish.

You wouldn't let me park my own car in your precious driveway.

This never would've happened.

That's not fair.

Oh, it's fair.

Can't we even talk about this like rational human beings?

One of them took a shit shit on the dashboard of my car, ma.

How's that for rational?

Why don't we...

We'll help you buy a new car.

Well. That's what everybody wants, isn't it?

Well, fuck you.

I'm fixing up Christine.

You've been disrespectful once too often!

Go back there and apologize!

Take your mitts off me, motherfucker!

I'm hitting the sack.

We'll make it better, huh?

They can't hurt us anymore.

Not if we work together.

We'll show those shitters what we can do.


Show me.

Hey, Cunningham!

Is that you, Cunningham?

Hey, you ain't mad, are you?

Oh, shit.

You're a dead man now.


Where have you been, asshole?

You hear about what happened to Moochie?


Almost makes you feel sorry for the bastard, huh?

How's Christine coming?

Oh, cherry.

I spent a shitload of money on her, and she's perfecto now.

That's funny, you know, 'cause I heard she was totaled.

After I cleaned up the broken the glass, it wasn't so bad.

Bet you 100 bucks...

It was buddy Repperton.


So what if you fix it up, and he does it again?

He won't do it again.

What's that mean?

Hey, man, I got to go.

I hope you didn't think I'd be hanging around here all day.

That's you, Arnie, always in demand.

Stay loose.

You know it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Lean machine!

They let you out early?

Yeah. That's right.

Arnold Cunningham?

I'm Rudolph Junkins, state police detective.

I'm just missing a study hall.

I gotta get to work. I don't care about that.

I want to ask about your car.

You do nice bodywork, Arnie.

I thought this thing was totaled.

Who told you that?


Local police, your mom and dad, your girl.

Cute girl, by the way.

It wasn't as bad as it looked.

The report said they punched holes in the body.

Damn if I can see the fill.

You can if you look.

Something over there.

And back here.

I've been lucky with parts.

I replaced the entire door on this side.

See where the paint doesn't quite match?


It's a hell of a job. It's a hell of a job, Arnie.

Thank you very much.

Okay. So what do you want?

I like this shade of red, Arnie.

Didn't think they made this anymore.

Do they? They still make this shade?

They must. I bought it.


Baker auto on route five.

You got the receipt?

Tossed it out.

You know, it's funny— Cigarette?

No, thanks.

Usually when somebody trashes a car, we get photographs.

Wait, wait, wait. They didn't really trash it.

That's not what Leigh said.

As a matter of fact, she was so shaken up giving me all the details, she broke down crying.

I understand, uh...

One of the perpetrators defecated on the dashboard.

I'd have thought you'd be madder than hell at that, and I would have thought you would have reported that.

Shit wipes off.

Moochie Wells kind of got wiped off too, didn't he?

I don't know.

You don't know?


Scouts' honor?

I'm not a scout.

The kid was cut in half.

They had to scrape his legs up with a shovel.

Isn't that what you do with shit...

Scrap it up with a little shovel?

Don't get smart with me.

Your girlfriend is a lot more convincing than you are.

She's not my girlfriend.

And since when is it against the law to fix up your own car when somebody else busts it up?

Since never.

Then you get off my back.



Hi, Leigh.

I need to talk... I need to see you.

Arnie, I care about you.

I love you, Leigh.

I think we deserve one more try.

Don't you?

Give me a fucking yes or no!

Arnie, please don't do this to me.

Be straight. You've had it, right?

Well, fuck you, bitch!

Leigh? Leigh?


Want do to the honors, monsieur?


Love to bring her along.


She can earn her way.


Let's get Vandenberg.



Watch this.

Let's give this asshole some of his own medicine.

He's backing up, too.

Some shithead's following me!

I hope he comes in here!

Is that Cunningham?

It can't be.

Look at my car.

Come on, prick!

We're not finished!

Come on!


Hello, Henry?

This is Will.

Listen, Cunningham get there?

The order okay?


He was driving my caddie, wasn't he?


Yeah. Take it easy.

Okay, Jack.

Come on out.

The ride is over.

If I'm gonna have to come in and get you, I'm going to get you.

Why don't you do us both a favor?

Come on out.



What's going on?

You tell me. Where were you last night?

Home. Why? What are you doing to my car?

You didn't go out?

Of course I went out.

I got Darnell's car out front with a load of parts.

You want the receipt?


How come you're showing up just now?

Why didn't you unload last night?

'Cause I was tired, that's why.

If you don't believe me, you can ask my mother.

Why do you keep butting into my life?

Because we found your boss, will Darnell, dead in your front seat, with a shotgun by his side.


I was hoping you could answer that.

Somebody saw your car cruising behind buddy Repperton last night.

He's dead, too.

So are Don Vandenberg and Richard Challony.

Guess nobody will be trashing your car anymore.

Well, all I know—

All I know is I got a Cadillac out front full of parts— We'll take care of the caddie.

I don't want you touching it.

Honest, Mr. Junkins, I don't know what's going on.

I swear I don't.

May I please speak to Dennis?

It's a girl.


Hey, Leigh.

Happy new year.

Can I come over there?

I need to talk to you.

What, about Arnie?

About Christine.


You first.

I'm afraid for Arnie.

I thought you wanted to talk about Christine.

What do you know about that car?

The guy who owned the car before Arnie...


His daughter choked to death in Christine.

How do you know that?

Lebay's brother sold Arnie the car.

The guy's a jerk. He told me.

I think I was supposed to be next or something.

Oh, come on, Leigh.

Arnie would never do that.

Not in a million years, okay?

I don't think he's Arnie, Dennis.

It's that car.

I swear it's the car.


I'm going to Arnie's tonight for new year's— Dennis, I wouldn't.

It's okay.

His folks will be there.

I just figure that maybe if I get him alone, maybe he'll talk to me.

What if he doesn't?

What do you mean?

I don't know. What if...

What if that car doesn't let him?

Then we destroy it.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, my man, you're really operating those babies.

Yeah, I manage.

You got the old rust bucket?

You wanna watch what you call my car.

She's real sensitive.

Is she?

Sorry, Christine.

Good boy.

Let's motivate.

Well, have a beer. Don't be shy.

My car's your car.

A toast to...


To the shitters of the world in 1979.

Come on, Arnie. I can't drink to that.

What can you drink to?

What about us? Our friendship?


All right. That's real good.

Hey, Dennis.


Come off it.

I want you to see this. I want you to see this.

This is a great alignment. You just don't see this any...

Don't be scared.

I'm scared for you, man. For what's happened to you.

It's this fucking car.

I know you're jealous.

But we'll be friends as long as you stick with me.

And you know what happens to shitters who don't.


What does happen?

Let's not kid each other, Dennis.

Who are the shitters?

All of them.


Leigh's on your side.

Oh, yeah?

She cares a lot about you.

She does.


Don't you like this beer? Thought you liked beer.

Did you hear what I just said?

Let me tell you a little something about love, Dennis.

It has voracious appetite.

It eats everything— Friendship, family.

It kills me how much it eats.

But I'll tell you something else.

You feed it right, and it can be a beautiful thing, and that's what we have.

When someone believes in you, you can do anything. Any fucking thing in the entire universe.

And when you believe in that someone, then watch out, world, 'cause nobody can stop you. Nobody, ever.

You feel this way about Leigh?

What? Fuck, no!

I'm talking about Christine.

No shitter ever came between me and Christine.

Now watch this!


Oh, man, there is nothing finer than being behind the wheel of your own car.

Except maybe for pussy.


It's kind of spooky in here, huh?

Looks like they cleaned out the place.

That's where he used to keep it.

Down there.


We better get started.


What do you think?

Let's try it.

Christine's gotta come through the door.

You better get in the office and stay out of sight.

Once she gets inside, hit the button and bring the door down.

Then we'll have her trapped.

What if he doesn't come?

Christine will.

Look, you better get in the office.

Keep your head down.

When you hear me start this thing up, that's when you reach out and hit the button.



Leigh, don't move. Stay where you are.

You shitters!



Arnie's dead.


You okay?

I think so.



I wouldn't feel so bad if I were you.

You two are heroes.

Yeah. A real hero could have saved Arnie.

We didn't do so hot.

Some things can't be helped.

Some people, too.


God, I hate rock and roll.