Christmas Evil (1980) Script

Twas the night before Christmas When all through the house Not a creature was stirring Not even a mouse The stockings were hung by the chimney with care In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

Oh!


I told you he'd be happy we remembered him.

Mmm.


Merry Christmas!

Daddy? That wasn't Daddy!

It was Daddy! You're crazy, Harry!

No, you're crazy! You don't know nothing, Philly.

Philly?


Ah!


Come on. Where are my little darlings?

Scotty Goodrich.

Good boy, Scotty.

Susy Love it.

Such a sweet baby.

Moss Garcia!

Moss Garcia! Moss Garcia! Moss Garcia!


Nobody here is interested in good toys.

That includes me. Me, too.

I can understand that!

You've never felt the thrill of making a good toy.

And how could you in this place? But I bet you got kids, right?

Two. Five.

Don't you understand how useful rigidly constructed toys are?

How inspirational?

Their value goes way beyond making money.

Any word who's getting laid off in January, Harry?

Laid off'? I didn't even know they were considering it.

Oh, you don't go to Union meetings any more?

You guys, listen to me.

I gotta find somebody to take my shift tonight.

Jean and me are going away for the weekend.

We got the urge to leave early. Good luck!

Come on! Don't any of you guys have a sense of brotherhood?

You know, all for one, one for all?

How about you, Harry? How are you doing?

That looks great. Let me have a bite, will you?

You didn't hear, Frank? Harry got promoted.

Harry got promoted! No kidding?

It's a lousy position. I miss the line.

Harry's not interested in money, he's interested in toys!

You didn't hear how useful they are, Frank.

No. It's Christmas I hate most.

That's when I get slaughtered buying all those presents.

I It's a marshmallow world in the winter I When the snow comes to cover the ground I It's the time for play It's a whipped-cream day I I wait for it all year round I Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly I In the arms of the evergreen trees I And the sun is red like a pumpkin head I It's shining so your nose won't freeze I The world is your snowball See how it grows... I

Hello?

'Hello, Harry. This is Frank. How you doing?'

Fine. 'I'm not interrupting you, am I?'

It's OK. What do you want?

'We're gonna do each other a favour, Harry.'

What do you mean? 'I couldn't get anyone to take my shift.

'Then I remembered how much you said you missed the line.

'Well, you can go back on for one night for me.'

Well, I... 'You weren't kidding me?'

I miss being close to the toys, but... 'Great.

'I appreciate you doing me this favour, Harry.'

OK, sure. Have a nice weekend.

'Thanks. You have a good time tonight.'


I Daddy's drinkin' up our Christmas I Gonna be some hard times this year I No tree or stockings or presents I Just bottles of Christmas cheer

I No new Frigidaire for Mama I No toy train for brother Jim I Daddy's drinkin' up our Christmas I Don't know what's gonna become of him I Quit his job last Friday I Cashed his last pay cheque I And Ma ain't seen a cent... I Four days. Jean and me are leaving in the morning.

I get that schmuck Harry working for me tonight!


Come on, kids. It's time for bed.

0h, no! No!

Please! Mom, please!


'Let's swing and sway with the all-American dance.'

'Another giant balloon is coming our way!

'The crowd's anticipating the arrival of the world's most popular personality.'

'This parade's and every parade's special guest, Santa Claus!'

'His sleigh and reindeer should only be a few blocks up.'


I want you to do something for me today.

What?

Mm... Promise me first.

Uh-oh.

Leave Harry alone. Let him have a good time.

Don't start with me.

You make Harry suffer so much for his mistakes. Not today.

All he makes is mistakes! So what?

He's a sweet man. Yeah, I know.

So no anxiety. Promise me.

You're the one that's getting me all worked up.

If I start to think about how lame he is, there's no way I won't say the wrong thing to him.

So don't think.

'Hey, it's the Disco Junior College Band.'

Marc needs a typewriter.

At nine? He's precocious.

Dennis needs a calculator.

I'll have to repossess a large family this week!

You're terrible!

I'll get it.

Hello?

Harry... Aren't you on your way over here?

I'm not gonna make it over for dinner, Phil.

What are you talking about?

'I see some excitement...'

I've got other plans. Since when?

'Jackie and the kids are looking forward to seeing you.'

'It looks like it is the grand old boy...'

Tell 'em I'm sorry.

'The most important star in the whole Thanksgiving parade!'

'Harry, is something wrong?'

No, no. I'm sort of tied up.

I don't wanna talk now.

'We hope all the boys and girls have been good this year.'

'We sure do, Betty.

'And what better way to get their reward than from this man? Here he is!'

Harry?

I can't hear you. Hold on a second.

Will you turn that down? It's not loud, Daddy!

Harry... Harry, I'm back.

'Wish Jackie and the kids a happy Thanksgiving for me.'

Is Harry sick?

Bye, Phil.


'Micky Cooper, the carved dog.

'John Wesley, drum.

'Do Ronaldson... that red dog.'

'Randy Fox... what's...?

'Oh, oh, yeah. That's, that's another drum.

'Linda Carbonell, the doll... with the black dress.

'Verne Jones...

'Verne Jones has the... the doll with the... yellow lace. Yeah.

'Harry Lankenau, Union soldier.'

'Sandy Lopez...

Hi, Harry!

Hi, Richie! Hi, kids!

Susy, you look so beautiful!

What did you wish for today?

I wished I was super magic!

I wished I was principal, so I could throw whoever I wanted out of school!

And I wished I was a fire-fighter! Boom!

Great, great!

I wish I had a lifetime subscription to "Penthouse Magazine"!

'Moss Garcia.'

Susy Lovett.

Look at that.

This is not for your eyes, my little darling.

'Moss Garcia. Throws rocks at dogs.

'Uses profane language. Picks his nose.

'Impure thoughts. Negative body hygiene.'


What is this with your toys now?

Now, put your coat on. We gotta go right away.

I don't like mah-jong.

You ain't gonna be playing it! Come on!

Come on, Moss!

I wanna stay home and watch TV.

Who do you think you are? Your father? Get in!

No!

Moss?

Will you get in the car?

Moss, do you hear me?

Moss'?


Moss!

There's something in the bushes! It's a monster! It tried to grab me!

I've had all I'm gonna take! There's something horrible in there!

Ow! Now you get in the car!

Go on!

You would ruin my one night out!


I Merry Christmas... I


Ah.


I Santa Claus, Santa Claus I Please, please, please I Don't make me I Don't make me suffer so

I Christmas time

I But once a year I Would somebody please, please, please I Bring me some Christmas cheer?

I I need a Christmas cheer, Santa Claus I Please, please don't make me suffer so

I You're taking so long... I

'My dear employees, Jolly Dream has decided to donate toys

'to the Willowy Spring State Hospital, with your help.

'The more toys we make, the more we can give.

'So keep production up, 'and if you feel it in your heart, contribute some of your own money.

'Those children could certainly use...'

It breaks my heart with his generosity, but this time he's a regular Santa Claus.

How are you feeling now, Harry?

I never felt better.

Frank's over there.

He's telling everyone you had a great time working his shift for him.

That's hard to believe.

Hey!

I said forget it! I got your guys' number now.

What do you mean? The right tune.

I've been trying to find the notes to it for as long as I can remember.

Well, I've found them. I can play the tune now.

Harry, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Harry! Good to see you again! Hello! You're... Ben, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Harry, I want you to meet the newest member of the team, George Grosch.

George is a real bright boy in our Executive Training programme.

George and his wife are spending Christmas on the island with me.

Wiseman wants him to have the grand tour.

Midnight Mass and all that.

Hey, Harry, finish telling me about your tune.

Oh, you sing, too, Harry?

Not exactly.

See you around, Harry.

Nice guy.

What's his problem, Harry? Is he jealous because you're one of us now?

'Despair, pain and anguish are worse, 'which do not do justice to the suffering going on

'at the Willowy Spring State Hospital for Retarded Children.'

I'd like to hear your other ideas for Jolly Dream.

'Help these children in any way you can.'

I have too many things on my mind right now.

Harry, the kid wants to make a splash!

He wants to study all the theories of how to run the factory.

Now, I think a purer theory is getting back to basics!

That film over there.

It's not specific about how many toys the company's donating.

Ask bright boy here.

That campaign is his first contribution to the company.

Are there enough toys for all the children at the hospital?

I don't have the slightest idea how many children are in that hospital.

I worked on campaign presentation.

The idea of mine is really solid.

The factory can't always shoulder the whole burden.

You mean you're waiting for these guys to contribute?

You're on the other side of the desk now. You've gotta understand good business.

It's OK, Harry. Really.

The factory comes out OK, and so do those kids you're so worried about.

You're worse than he is! He doesn't know why a tune has to be played.

You actually know how to play it, and look what you're doing with it.

Merry Christmas, Harry!

I Jingle bells, jingle all the way I Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh I Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way I Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh I


You're going somewhere. Yes, sir!


I Santa Claus is coming to town I You better watch out I He's making a list I You better not cry I He's checking it twice I You better not pout I He's gonna find out I I'm telling you why I Who's naughty and nice I Santa Claus is coming to... I


It's me.

It's... It's me.

It's me!


Oh, great.

What do you think you're doing?

I have a delivery. I have toys for the children inside.

At this hour? What are you, wacko?

Do I look like I'm joking?

Get me whoever's in charge. I don't have a lot of time!

Get out of here. I told you, I'm in a hurry.

How can you be so lazy and selfish? Are you blind?

Who do you think you're talking to?

I'm sorry. My approach is...

Uh... it, it doesn't matter.

Look, I'm really in a hurry, and I only have good intentions.

Here. Merry Christmas!

Have a good holiday!

Well, you wait here.

Don't come inside. You understand?

Uh, don't worry. I won't.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Where did you come from? I mean, who sent you?

That's a very long story.

I assume all the little children have been good this year?

Of course.

Well, you'd better get some more help.

You'd better get some of the staff. I'll wait here.

Can I ask who donated all this?

Some people who didn't realise how generous they could be.

Fantastic! Wow!

Now, all you have to do is say, "Merry Christmas, little boys and girls!"

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas, Santa Claus!


'I don't have the slightest idea how many children are in that hospital.'


' Oi! Sorry!

Well, Santa, you look ready for a busy night.

Come now, Charles. A little respect.

Seriously, Santa Claus, will you tell our viewers how was the trip down?

Oh, and I see you've given up your reindeer for more modern wheels!

Mm, and the suit, too.

Oh, excellent! It's ravishing!

Who does that? Come now, sir.

Haven't you had enough?

I have something for you. I have superlative taste.


Please help me!

Help me!


I Jump to the beat I Cos Santa Claus is coming tonight I Santa Claus is coming tonight... I


Merry Christmas!


Don't just stand there! Come on in!

No! I can't!

You have to! We've caught you!

Hey, everybody... Hey!

Look who's here!

Merry Christmas!

Someone get the man a drink!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas!

This will warm you up.

Santa!

Merry, Christmas, children!

Merry Christmas, Santa!

Well, now, let's see what Santa has for you this Christmas.

Whoa, look at this. Here's another one Santa made himself.

How did you and the missus like your first New York religious experience?

What do you mean, what did he look like?

There was something different about this guy.

Different? What do you mean different?

This isn't easy to explain. I...

It shows you how funny a person can be, don't it, Father?

Hello, Grella, Gottlieb. You're gonna love what we've got so far.

Let me guess.

Everyone saw Santa Claus?


I... Oh...

I really must go now.

Awh!

But now I want you to remember to stay good boys and girls.

Respect your mothers and fathers, and do what they tell you.

Obey your teachers, and learn a whole lot.

Now, if you do this...

I'll make sure you get good presents from me every year.

But if you're bad boys and girls...

your name goes in the Bad Boys and Girls Book.

And I'll bring you something... horrible.

A toast!

To Santa Claus!

To Santa Claus!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas!

See you next year!

Bye!

Bye now!

Not Dasher, not Dancer, not Prancer and Vixen!

Run Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!

Now, dash away! Dash away! Dash away, all!

I get that schmuck Harry working for me tonight!


You want it all, Frank, but you're no longer a child.

Harry? Merry Christmas, Frank!


Uh-oh.

I wonder what happened here. Phil?

Phil?

'Hello, everybody! How's everything?

'And how are my two boys?'

Harry has always been here on Christmas Day.

'It does everything but talk.

'Wonderful, yes, but not what I ordered.'

Something's wrong.

Honey, you have no reason to believe that.

No, I know that! Inside!

What you need is breakfast!

'We interrupt this programme to bring you a news bulletin.

'Here with a live mini-cam report is Ricardo Bauma.

'The church behind me is a landmark famous throughout the East

'for the beauty of its services.

'Last night, tragedy struck here as if some unreasonable...'

I think you intentionally underestimate Harry.

Jackie, please!

You act like he's a totally incapable human being.

'He murdered three of them in plain view of all the parishioners...'

I think he acts a little crazy sometimes for your benefit.

'Santa Claus, that's the only way the police can identify him...'

Don't say that to me.

'He murdered a man in his own bed.

His wife was sleeping next to him.'

I should have said it a long time... I'd like to hear this!

'Avoid anyone dressed as Santa Claus.

'If you know someone who played Santa Claus this year

'or if you see someone who is dressed that way, 'please call the emergency number, 9991212.

'I keep thinking...'

That's scary!

He's gonna get ya!

Don't tease him, Marc.

I was only foolin', Mummy.

I always tell Dennis there's no Santa Claus.

There is! Uncle Harry told me so!

'How do these spooky men look like?'

'Oh, they are terrible-looking things.

They're a half-man...'

Phil...

Why won't you believe something's wrong?

You've gotta stop this! Harry has forced me to be this way.

Just be honest with yourself about why he's not here.

You don't understand!

I understand what's happened to us. How could you understand?

Dennis, turn that down.

But this is the best part of the movie, Daddy. I said turn it down!

Why won't you understand?

I wanted an older brother!

Somebody to look up to, to be proud of, to talk to!

My brother's an emotional cripple.

And I'm his keeper, responsible for everything he does.

Dennis...

I'm sorry I yelled at you. Daddy's not feeling so good.

It's OK.


How many times do I have to tell 'em?


All right, next, please. Come on. Step forward.

Look alive there. All right, turn around.

All right, sideways. Turn sideways.

Turn frontwards.

All right, now say, "Merry Christmas." Merry Christmas.

Come on there! Louder there! With more feeling! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

All right. Thank you. Step back.

Bring the next group out, please.

It's really depressing me.

They took me away in front of all the children.

You have got to be jiving me?

All the Santa Claus mythology first came out of New York.

The Dutch first brought him over as Saint Nick.

Then Washington Irving wrote about it.

Then "The Night Before Christmas" made him famous.

At least our Santa Claus is following tradition.

I can't stay here! I've got a toy factory to run!

Oh, how am I ever gonna pay the bill?

Maybe our Santa's gonna do some good, after all.

You mean give the myth back its meaning?

Myth, schmyth! He'll make kids scared again.

They won't think everything's coming to them so easy.

They're bad... Santa will get 'em.

You're a real philosopher, you know that, Gleason Gottlieb? Grella. Any luck?

They knew Santa was coming last night. Their mother told 'em so.

I can't figure out the connection between Stoller and the three victims outside the church.

Santa's hit list is goddamn selective.

You mean "gift list".

I He's making a list, checking it twice I Gonna find out who's naughty or nice... I No, no! It wasn't any of these Santa Clauses!

His suit had dark fur.

Hello? 'Hello, Phil. It's me.'

Harry. Where are you?

'Hello?' Jackie, get off the line. It's for me.

'Is it about Harry?' Get off the phone!

Harry, are you still there?

'Where are you?'

You always worry about me, don't you, Phil?

I waited all day to hear from you. I'm sick to my stomach.

But Phil, you should be proud of me.

Why?

'I did what you've always wanted me to do.

'I finally found the right notes.'

I can play the tune now.

What tune? The tune everybody dances to.

Even you, Phil.

'It's my version.

And it works.'

Harry, I'm sorry.

'You don't wanna tell me where you are, don't tell me.

'But when you do come over, we're gonna have this out once and for all.'

You see, the difference between us was I always remembered everything.

What, what don't I remember? Just tell me what...

No, no. You're not gonna make me feel guilty no more.

You know, Phil... I read a poem once.

It said every day you shave, you see yourself one day closer to dying.

What are you saying?

I'm gonna play my tune now.

Everybody'll dance. You'll see.

'You don't have to worry any more.'

'What goddamn tune, Harry?

'Harry?

Talk to me...

Please.

I don't like this game.

Harry?


Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, I love my presents!

Oh... you're more than welcome.

Santa, your suit's dirty! Huh?

MY gosh!

There's... a lot of pollution between here and the North Pole.

Dolly!

What are we gonna do, Tom? Keep quiet, Theresa.

I bet... I bet, I bet I could come up with a few more surprises for you!

Oh, my God.

Wow!

Thanks! Me, too! Me, too!

All right!

I think...

He's gonna hurt them! Don't talk like this!

Let me handle this. For you!

Don't! He's gonna hurt our kids.

We're not even sure it's him.

Not sure, my ass!

Look at the fur on that suit.

But the kids... We need help!

I don't need no help.

Don't!

Don't come any closer.

These children know things that obviously, you don't understand any more.

They love me. Move away from 'em!

They want someone to notice who's good or bad!

Someone to guide them, someone to take responsibility, so they don't have to make those decisions themselves.

I said get away from 'em, or I'll rip your guts out!

Mum!

No, no! Daddy, don't!

No! Joe, get her off of me!

Don't hurt Angelina! Don't hurt her!

Don't! Don't! Stop! Stop it!

Angelina...

Give me that knife.

No, no, Daddy! I won't, I won't!


He's not getting out of this neighbourhood.

Let's go!


My God.

Oh, my God.

I knew it was you.

I failed. You were right, Phil.

I'm a failure.

What have you done?

How many people have you killed?

Everyone's rejected my tune.

I don't understand. I know it's right.

Oh, goddamn you! Goddamn you!

No, Daddy! Don't hurt Uncle Harry!

Get them upstairs. What are you going to do?

No questions, please! Just get them upstairs!

No, Daddy! Don't hurt Uncle Harry!

Get in there! No!

You've wrecked all our lives!

I wanted to give people what they said they wanted, but they don't want Santa Claus.

I don't understand. They don't want me.

You're insane!

Do you understand that?

You're sick!

It was you, Phil.

The first time it was you that didn't want Santa Claus.

I wanted all my life to prove to you that you were wrong!

Me? You're blaming me? I was six years old!

You never did believe in me.

You're one of them. You're one of those people out there.

You don't believe in anything!

All children love me!

I was six years old.

You are blaming me for all the horrible things you've done, because of something I said when I was six years old!

Phil!

Phil!


Harry! Harry!


"'When I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

“Merry Christmas to all

"'And to all a good night."'