City of Women (1980) Script

THE CITY OF WOMEN With Marcello again?

Maestro, please...

Super buns!

You're stupendous.


The woman I've always...

God, you're just too much!


Twice divorced. Why?

Oh, couldn't your husbands satisfy you?

Can you?

I'd be ready in a minute.

We'll see...

Just keep still.

You want to do it here?

What a chest you've got! Come here.

Where are we?

Fregene... It's my station!

Wait. What's your phone number? Good-bye!

She's not getting away.

Where's that mount going?

Signora, the station's over there.

What'll I do?

Let her go?

Look at that gait!

Good Ole Snaporaz can't let that go!


Hold On a minute!

Taking pictures? Take a shot of my pecker.

Careful, or I'll get you between two watermelons.

You gorgeous cow.

That was Some kiss!

Like a shovel.

You need a taste of Ole Snaporaz. Signora!

No, wait! Stop! Wait for me!

And now what...?

Alas, 'tis a divinity that guides us, Ole Snaporaz.

Where're you taking that ass?

Here I am!


There's an important matter.

My train...

Where's that mare? There She is!

Wait, what's the hurry?

Slow down.

Before you were so sweet, and now you're going away!

Not going away, going towards.

Going towards what? Do you live here?

Ah, what a wonderful smell!

These trees use finer perfumes than your playmates.

You married? No. That is, yes. Only once.

But I have no "playmates".

We're alone: you and I ...

Can't you slow down? Why the cross-country race?


Why do you follow?

What if I were going to meet a man?

Or many men...strong men?

It's a pity you lost your train for no reason.

You’re not afraid?

A little. But that excites me all the more.

Give me a kiss, just one.

Like you did before.

Let me say it: you're a hot bitch!

You'd take on an army. What an ass!

It drives me crazy. Where's that kiss?

Not that kiss. Want a real one?


Want me to eat you alive? Here? One condition...

If you close your eyes I'll give you a tremendous kiss!

No, be still. And keep your eyes closed!

Where'd she go?

No good bitch.

With all my troubles I have to go... and make a fool of myself.

Who knows why I carry on like a silly boy?

At my age!

Now I'm stranded without provisions in a godforsaken forest.

Ole Snaporaz...

I dunno, boss.

One and two! Two and three! Three and four!

Four and five!

Five hundred!

Five thousand!

Five hundred thousand!

Five million ...

Five hundred million women!

Remove the furniture. It's rigid, obtuse. It's masculine!

Don't accept calls. Ladies, be reasonable, one at a time!

How come couples get rooms without identification?

There's my big bunny, honey-woney.

You love me, don't you?



Hello. Nice convention, huh? You from newspaper?

It's a wonder you got in. I'm from newspaper too.

I even wrote about our Convention in Heinzburgend.

You been there?

"Nein", no men were there.

Who can repair a tape recorder?


Can somebody fix a tape recorder?

Excuse me, sir...

Did a lady...

A female lady?

What a stupid question, that's all we've got.

Keep your cool. She has boots and a Russian hat.

He just walked in. He's right in front of me.

Where are they going to practice group meditation?

Only one room?

Too many waves...

Come on, you. My recorder broke down.

Everything's made of plastic.

Ah, it's working?

You've just heard typical masculine sounds.

Unbearable. They only suggest aggressiveness.

There she is!

Out with the shit, Morning-glory!

Now you'll hear delicate and harmonious sounds.

Gentle and friendly.

Humane, feminine sounds.

Sounds of lacerated silks.

Women working at their own pace.

Here we have the turtle position.

Practice this position for psychic stability.

Hey, you ...

You don't belong here.

Go while the going's good.

Talking to me?

What do you mean?

There she is... Signora!

I'm here!

The vagina is a shell with the sound of the sea.

You all recall the song of the siren.

But the male offends her with humiliating names: snatch, box, bunny.



Let us explore this vagina of ours with her lips, eternally kissing.

Let's find new names.

Tongue of light! Smile of life!


The statues of Ancient Greece have phalluses that rise up haughtily.

Look at what phalluses have inspired.

Where can you get that?

Wishful thinking!

And so, phallic power keeps oppressing half of humanity.

That is, we women!

Even the missionary position is socially obsolete.

What does he do?

The man, arrogant, with member erect on top of the woman with her passive vagina.

A sociocultural oppression, from patriarchal times to the present day.

We're against penetration. It's invasion without defense!

We want Ideal Coitus with parity between Male and Female.

Penetration is a crime that should carry a fine of 10 million lira!

The Feminist Movement at Columbia University has been doing extensive research. They're reactionaries!


Stop right there. I've had it! You've busted my ovaries!

Let go!

Our main goal is to abolish fellatio!

A degrading practice from which we have never been weaned.

I like fellatio.

What's this fellatio?

Try reading Catullus!

It's a subconscious manifestation of woman's creativeness.

Oh, finally...

The kitchen's far Off.

I'll take the tray. Go on, scram. Beat it!

Cas-tra-tion! Cas-tra-tion...

The American woman prefers the following position, and naturally their husbands comply!

Why must it be a man and a woman?

There's no need for a man.

Mas-tur-ba-tion! Mas-tur-ba-tion!

We've a thousand sensations in the palm of our hand, in our armpit...

We must defeat fellatio, it's primitive!

Tahitian women have learned to keep a turgid organ in their vagina for a whole night!

A feat unknown to us!

Finally I see two smiling faces among so many scowling women.

Why so bitter?

Yes, I understand feminism but is the anger necessary?

The usual male commentary, huh?

Virgin yet whore, angelic yet diabolical.

Goddess of the hearth and instrument of pleasure.

Two aspects of false feminity to better serve the male chauvinist pig!

"The Average Housewife".

Oh no, you're crying?


Thank you, you were both marvelous.

Marriage-Miscarriage... yes, excellent!

I agree.

You're absolutely right.

Yes, certainly!

There is Mrs. Small jogging in front of her Six husbands.

All happy and content.

Rare example of feminism inside family circle.

We very lucky to obtain interview in her house.

She says that when she was little baby story of Snow White and Seven Dwarfs made great impression on her like premonition of what her future would be.

Her husbands are of different nationality.

One is even Italian, from Naples.

She went there to buy a dog but ended up marrying him!

Here is final toast with all the husbands.

One moment! There's a big surprise.

Our valorous comrade, Enderbreith Small, who was in my film, is here with us.

You can ask her questions.

Aren't you a slave to 6 masters?

That's my question too!

Is she happy in her polyandric relationship?

She said very happy. It's a united family.

Now I'll ask where her husbands are.

Hans, Jenz, Jan, Giggi, Lars, Peter!


Go on, go on ... keep going.

Don't stop.

My dear sisters, I'm sixty.

Only sixty!

Menopause doesn't exist.

It's an alibi for the Male Society.

It's he, the male, who runs out of steam!

I spent my life teaching children.

And I found teaching them more rewarding than having them.

Look at this beautiful leg, see any seams or veins?

Wrinkles are a male invention!

My husband said:

"You're like climbing the Everest... without oxygen!"

I'm proud of my wrinkles! Here they are, one by one.

I've no fear of aging nor of dying.

I adore life. Making love is marvelous.

All women are young! All women are beautiful!

They're all only twenty years old!

A woman without a man IS...

She's like a nose without a room A somersault without any chowder Like a dictionary without a broom A parasol without any powder A woman without a man is...

A palisade without a strut A palimpsest without a sting A pachyderm without a putt A parabola without a sling A woman without a man is...

A periscope without any greens A pinnacle without a sigh A pimpernel without any means A pedigree without a thigh

I'd like to say something though it may be useless, sisters.

We've been deceived once again.

Very subtly. True to his style.

We were generous and hospitable.

Understanding. We spoke.

We discussed. We sang.

We performed our rites without reserve, or feminine modesty in the futile hope of making known to one who cannot, nor wishes to know how much freedom, how much authenticity and love, and life has been denied us.

Our efforts here have been useless, sisters.

The eyes of that man, presently among us with that look of feigned respectability, of one who desires to know us, understand us because he insists that it can better our relationship.

And of all of his hypocritical excuses, this is surely the basest.

Those eyes are the eyes of the male we've always known.

They reflect his inner derision, his mockery.

He has the same rotten core.

We are only a pretext for another of his crude, animalistic fables.

Another neurotic song-and-dance act.

We're his chorus, his hula girls, his fiends.

We enhance his show with our passion, with our suffering.

I warn this dismal, hollow, worn-out Sultan that we're neither marionettes nor fiends.

We're of this earth but not as mere compost, as he would have us.

He doesn't know us, nor Wants to and that is his fatal error.

While we've been shut up in his harem or isolated in our respective ghettos we've had the time to study him.

To observe this keeper of ours.

Our Lord!

We know you well!

Everything about you. You're the marionette, the fiend!

Look at him!

He hides.

You can't hide!

Your number is up.

Look, I'll tell them everything, about the train and how you...

Look sisters!

In close-up!

Go to hell!


A male lurks among us, and listens to what we say.

He steals our words. He records them only to deform their meaning.

He's a spy.

We must stop him. Find him.

Corner him. Throw him out.

Excuse me...

Over there. That's him!

Out! Out! Out!

Ladies, please...

I came here by chance.

Let me speak.


Come, follow me.

What manners! You're all mad!

How was I supposed to know you were holding a convention?

Why pick on me?

What's so funny?

Why'd you call me? Let me out.

Where are you going?

I wouldn't let him out.

What does he want from us?

Instead I feel like helping him. I'm very maternal.

I can't help it.

It's my big weakness. Can you skate?

Skate? As a kid...

You've a chance then. Give him your skates.

You must be brave and above all, lucky.

Are you lucky? For what? Skating?

Where are we going?

That's Gabriella, every day, she circles the rink 300 times.

She made a vow.

Why don't we tell them you're the new instructor?

He'll end up like the plumber did.

It'd be a pity.

That thing's upstairs.

Be careful when you open it.

Come, put the skates on. Where's the exit?

You said you'd help me get out. In front of you.

They're good, huh?

Must you go?

How old are you? Too old.

Strike here, the male genital organs.

You missed. You all miss!

You lack concentration.

Concentration is everything.

Keep mind on objective.

Come, Camilla.

Legs wide apart...

I got first prize for the best kick i n the testicles.

It's bothersome, isn't it? Oh no, it's a joy.

Why are you here?

Strange, isn't it? I'm a chick full of contradictions.

Ready for "Mackarij" kick... Go!

Good kick! Because good concentration.

In your imaginative sphere you must visualize the genitals.

Are you trying to rescue him, Donatella?

Lots Of luck!

Come, grandpa.

Hold on. It's thirty years since I've...

Don't be so nervous.

I have a trick knee.

You'll lead me to the exit, won't you?

You’re such a dear...

Don't pull, I'll fall.

Let go! I don't need you.

Afraid, huh?

How beautiful!

They're good. Very choreographic.

Shall I come and get you?

It's a madhouse!

Hurry, you fool!

Come, Daddy... A bunch of nitwits!

Stop them! They can't stop.

We have to get through. Let us through!

Look out! The stairs!

The stairs...

The steps are slippery.

You slip like an eel.

My husband kept slipping until he was kaputt.

Come, little one...

Breathe together with me.

Breathe and count: "Eins''...

Does it hurt?

Of course it does!


Look what a nice bronco!

I get such ideas...

I have to get back. Where's the station?


I take you.

But "nicht so schnell", young fella.

I can't make out what she says!

I won't touch you because I dirty you more.

Good boy... Take your little coat and scarf.

You see how black I am?

A bucket of water and I'm all white. Like a slice of bread.

"Schon besser"? Feel better?

Let's go then. Move, young fella.

Who'll ever believe this? If that bitch up there hadn't...

What time is it? Who knows?


"And with his dipper He skimmed the pot

"Skim, ski m, skim

''And now I Scrub-Scrub.''

Where's the station?

Makes hot bubbles inside...

You men are so strange.

You’re all little cubs.

You're a young fella too, a cub.

"They all got fever-fever For my beaver-beaver

"Cool it, water, cool it, cool it!"

''The same rotten core.''

Oh, really, Madame? "He hasn't changed a bit..."

Why should he change?

To become what, instead?

I'm all yours...

Come, little cub. I'm ready.

With my motorcycle we'll all be at the station in 10 minutes.

You afraid?

I'm harmless.

Except for one thing...

Just kidding. Don't be afraid for your thing.

Hold on.

Hold on tight. Tighter, tighter!

Signora, I took a different road this morning. There was no canal!

It's a short cut.

You hear the frogs?

They're singing So who gives a damn?

How much longer will it take?

Almost there.

We'll stop here.

For just... sec-sec.

What for?

The Stationmaster, poor thing.

Signora, where're you going?

The Stationmaster's seeds. I promised him.

This is too much!

Come, help me.

Had I known...

Clever, Weisenheimer. You want everything easy.

Help her how?

"There was a beaver who thought not of her beaver, poor thing.

"She takes him to the station, but he denies her

"a helping hand for a few seeds."

This is ridiculous!

"Komm, komm, we gather seeds for all our needs."

It'll only take a second.

Duck that nice head of yours.

What beautiful hair... Yeah, thanks.

These stuffed cats belong to my granddaughters.

It's hot in here, huh?

Want a fresh egg? They're good for you.

Puts lead in your pencil.

Don't waste time, get the seeds and let's go.

It's not time for seeds, silly cub.

Look at this titty.

Ever seen one SO nice?

Oh, this is too much!

Signora, cover up...

Squeeze it for a sec then we'll go.

You know nothing about me.

Don't say no. Touch it with a finger just for a sec-sec.

It's nice and firm.

Yeah, it's firm, but let's go to the station.

I've a cat down there that's purring.

And moaning. That's your business!

She's meowing. Come and stroke her.

My big cat!

Take me to the Station!

Are you crazy?

Let go!

I need it. Where are you?

Feed the cat. Feed it!

Don't oblige me to use force.

My God, how it stinks!

Help! Help!

Gimme your little "knockwurst", gimme gimme!

You pig!

You sow!

It's my mother...

Mama, I only came here to get Some seeds.

Seeds for the Stationmaster. The gentleman here was helping...

You monster! Come out!

How could I give birth to such a monster?

Look what she did to you.

I apologize on my knees for that filthy galoshe.

That barge!

Out! Come out!

I'll come out, but no kicking, Mama. Swear!

You old toad!

You swore... you'll go to hell for that.

Go home!


She didn't do anything, really.

I asked for Some seeds.

I'll fix her! Sweetie...

Accompany the gentleman to the train station. And make sure you take the River Road.

Forgive us. We're poor people. Long live Italy!

Yeah, long live!

Wait! My coat...

IS it far?

They'll meet us.

Who will?

Trudge, trudge The road will never budge

Where's Schizo?

She's going clean.

She could be anywhere.

Who's that? We're takin' him to the station.

The car's already a bit overloaded.

She's not comin'... doesn't feel good.

Ugh... it's rippin' my guts.

Can't breathe.

What's she got?

Where'll I sit?

What are you doin', sittin' on the bottle with that ass...

Mommy struck again!

She screwed him...

She's something else!

Good-bye, Snow White.

No, no way.

"You turn me off", he says. "What? I turn you off?"

Then he says, "I can't score with you."

"You're wiped out, it's vice versa", I say.

He blows my mind, I swear.

They're comin'!

Pussy ahead! The San Vincenzo junkies!

She borrowed the car again. She's far out!

Put On some sound.

What are you doing, you jerk?

Look out! Stop!

Who was that idiot?

Hey, how's Big Red makin' out?

He's still makin' Out.

Ciao, love... ciao, love.

Ciao, lover...

Don't be ridiculous.

You know what I got here? You don't know what I got.


There's nothing better to do.

Come on, dance.

The plane!

What are you doing? You're going backwards?


Let go!

Asshole! Gimme back my gun.

Monsters! You're all monsters!


What are you?

Who's that jerk?


You think you can scare me?

What film is this?

Stop running, my good man!

Italo, Franz, Cleo... come!

Be good!


I'll cover your retreat from those "lesbishes".

How can female creatures stoop so low?

They're blanks, unfortunately.

Only good for scaring them.

It's three nights they keep me awake with their shouting, their sit-ins, their Lesbos rallies.

Although I'm busy with other matters at night!

But just knowing that they're camped down outside my house, makes me furious.

Come... No, wait.

Let me see your face.

Old pines fall down like this.

Hollowed Out.

It was a hundred years old.

It toppled without warning.

But we'll never fall. Naturally...

You'll turn into repulsive old hags before you'll see me topple!

Come in...

Thank you.

Drugged, teenage girls tried to run me over.


It's criminal, really.

Have no fear. You're safe in my house.


And don't worry about my puppies.

You like weapons? They're my passion.

Guns, women, horses. Women first!

And women last too...

There's few of us left ever since the Invasion.

Have you heard? They've threatened to demolish my house.


Look what they did to you!

Want some clean clothes?

No, I'll be going. They were supposed to take me to the station.

I'm sorry, we haven't met. Züberkock, Dr. Züberkock.

Snaporaz, my pleasure.

Sit down.

By chance...

Weren't we schoolmates?

Wasn't it you...

I'd swear you were the one... who could tie his dong at rest position.

At rest?

It wasn't me.

Turn that light on.

Your father had a white streak of hair?

He was bald.

Good answer. I'm happy you're here.

This one?


May I? With your ear.

Go on.

It cost me a fortune.

At a public auction, I had to outbid a Jamaican millionaire.

It's better than Etruscan vases or Egyptian pots!

I've the finest "objets d'art" of the Orient and Europe that honor the woman and love!

You do love D’Annunzio?

Of course! Pardon, is the station nearby?

I dreamt of him. He said:

''Xavier... ''

"Remember the greenhouses!"

What greenhouses?


You shall see, my friend, the splendor of my greenhouses.

The most beautiful orchids in the world, with petals like flesh.

It sounded like their patrol cycle.

They come and go. Always checking!

Day and night!

Goddamn them!

What’s this?

Ah, you remember!

I invented it while still in school. But the Japanese stole my idea.


Automatic vibrators, 3000 r. p.m.

With this the woman goes crazy.

She screeches like an eagle.

It's paradise for her.

Be still!

Let's see if you have the courage!

Come on!

I'd love to see you fry on the high-tension wires!

Or better still, impaled on the spires of the main gate.

Unfortunately, I had them designed like phalluses.

Grave mistake!


My heart breaks when I think that my house, over 50 years old, almost built with my own hands and baptized "My Temple" must be demolished.



Dem-O-li-tion... Bitches!

Why demolition?

Laws decreed by our new rulers.

Those hoodlum ''lesbishes''.

They want a sick world.

But they don't know me. I shoot!

I have guns, dogs, high-tension. And faithful friends.

Yes, but I must...

I have a fortress here!

By Hercules, I must dress... for the party. Wait here.

I can't stay...

I'll drive you back tomorrow, wherever you like.

You have to see my orchids.

3000 r.p.m.

How the hell does it stop?

Will you stop!

Idiot! You're gaining speed!

Quiet! Cool it.


Let me dig him out.

Find him with my own hands.

Oh good God, what have you here?

What is it?

Let me dig him out. Find him with ...

Turn around how?

Like this? Is this good?

But I'll fall!

Ah, like that... like that!

Oh, yes, yes...

No... too much.

That's enough.

I beg you.

Stop... stop.

No, no, no... More! More! More!

You had enough orgasm. Now I want orgasm.

A 15-minute orgasm.

I want orgasm twice.

To "orgasm" or "orgasimize"?

To come.

You had enough orgasm. Now I want orgasm...

Who are you?

Let's try here.

I'll eat him!

Don't think so?

Your turn!

Oh, Mommy...

Mummy... Mother...

She was Ula Bula. She sang when she loved.

Still more!

Look how many!

My dear friend, you're really extraordinary.

How did you manage?

Want to hear them all together? The dear ladies?

Elena! You, in here?

Aren't you?

My train was stuck in the country.

I wanted to phone.

I'd have called anyway. I was out.

How come?

Isban Isbarashi!

Let us begin.

We cannot disappoint our faithful friends.

Beautiful lady, join the celebration for my ten thousandth conquest.

Everyone's waiting.


You too, dear Snaporaz.

Best wishes, Dr. Züberkock.

You find her beautiful?

Wait, my friends, before applauding.

My sweet fiancée would like to perform something for you.



Don't upset hi m.

I'd do it for you, but I don't know how.

Do what? You'll see.


Where will these gold pieces end up?

An Oriental art practiced by many courtesans.

It's Zen-Sex.

Want to try?

Another one.


Give me your necklace.

She does it with pearls too!

You happy? Happy now?

Ten thousand candles. I will try.

All of them!

How about those?

IS he mad?


No, it's not what you think!

Look here my friends.

It was champagne!

D'Annunzio writes: "Oh, sinuous female forms

"coiled like the spirals of a white serpent

"Oh, maiden, how imperceptibly

"you turn the byplay of love into a surging fire

''Drink of me...

''I am the wine that inebriates’'


Midst all this merrymaking, I feel great sadness

'tis a bitter cake.

Because you pissed on it, you slob!

It's not that...

Then why?

Because it's time to say farewell to women.

All women.

To the woman of the poet.

The true woman.

To my woman.

At least tell me...

Only you can go to parties?

This lady also likes to enjoy her liberty!

Thanks for showing me how!

Let's go away.

I get depressed at home.

I ran into my singing teacher.

Excuse me, sir, but I'm talking to my psychoanalyst.

Go right ahead, I'm not...

What are you doing here?

You vagabond!


Look who’s here!

Your button's coming loose.

Come, I'll fix it.

I'll be right there, Elena!

I keep everything in here.

So I see.

You're sweet, you remind me...

It's incredible.

You're the spitting image of a showgirl who...

I'm her daughter.

She was my mother. There were two very pretty...

Yes, my aunt.

The Smash Duo.

The Smash Duo! What memories!

And you're a feminist?


How could I not be?

Why do you come here?

That's a secret.

You got yourself into a mess.

I feel better. Want to talk?

No, thanks anyway.

Tell me... Why am I in a mess?

Adieu woman!

Oh, what war, what peace, what land, what sea, you were for me Water and fire, all is desire And when I pray

'tis you I implore Adieu...

Eyes so imperious Knees so mysterious To you, I say adieu!


Oh navel so compelling You were the dwelling of my dying lips

Yes, I'm drinking.

My fifth. Or sixth or tenth.

I don't know but I've no intention of stopping.

What a bore you are.

And yet your friends consider you witty.

One who sees the brighter side of life.

But did you ever force yourself to make me smile?

To make me a part of things, as a true friend?


It wouldn't hurt to try, at least once, before everything turns to shit!

But he's too busy with crossword puzzles and mystery stories, with his waistline, his homeopathic cures, acupuncture...

Maybe a little puncture down there would do you good, huh?

How considerate you are.

Listen, Elena, don't you ...

Oh, sorry...

Remember when you used to place little notes under my pillow?

Did you love me then?

Did you?

Answer me!

Why do I even bother asking?

You never listen to me.

He never once listened to me!

He's mum.

Look at hi m.

He won't talk.

You shouldn't talk when you're like this!

Do you realize how empty my life is?

Has it ever dawned on you?

Was I ever able to talk about me without you making a face or fidgeting?

What important exchange have we had in all these years?



Never anything!

Only when you're far away, do you feel the need to call up, and chat.

I'm your refuge.

But I wasn't made for that!

I'm sorry, it's not enough!

You had your mother for that. I'm not your mother!


Must you do this to me?

Calm down, please.

It's not as bad as you make it.

You're exaggerating. We haven't come to such odds.

We've been through difficult moments before.

We'll grow old together.

I won't leave you.

You won't?

But I will!


Grow old with you?

To be your nursemaid?

Tend to all your ills?

Clean your bedpans, and put up with your whims?

There's a fountain... you'll fall in!

I'm better Off alone.

Do you know what you've turned me into? I'm a nonentity.

Do I still exist?

Go on, say it that I don't exist.

Don't you think I worry about our situation?

About shedding some light on it?

Let's not torture each other.

Shed some light?

He wants to "shed light".

Then let's shed, sir.

Shed away!

Silly, you don't know how to do it.

There may still be a chance, if you wanted.

Or are we too old to be young again, you and I?

The police! Police!

Wake up, Krisha. The police!

Your Residence Permit? A new gorilla?

Though my hearts brims with desire, I say...


Good evening, one and all!

Dr. Züberkock, my respects.

Forgive me for interrupting like this but the owner of the house, illegally built and subject to demolition, is aware, correct me otherwise, that all parties must terminate at 11. 30 pm.

You've only a few minutes left.

My beautiful Inspector, your presence does honor my house.

May I ...?

At 8 am tomorrow you will report to Lt. Myrna.

She wants to know why you fired upon innocent schoolgirls this morning.

Little cub! Identification, please!

What the...? You're a policewoman?

I shot in the air.

I have witnesses.

You’re a little soft.

What's this I feel that wriggles like an eel?

It's limp. It hangs at 6.30.

Elena! My love!



I'll dress myself!

Now I make a report:

Why are you here? And when will you go away?

Another motorcycle ride?

You're guilty of mistreating minors but thanks to Elena, we'll not arrest you.

They were minors?

I'm guilty of having mistreated poor little girls?

Yes, little girls!

What have I signed, sweet enchantress?

The report concerning your dog's aggressiveness and subsequent death.

Dr. Züberkock, you know very well you can't keep dogs like that without special permission.

One attacked a guard, and was killed.


Our humble respects.

I'm sorry, but the Stationmaster is better than you.

They killed Italo!

The dog I loved most.

Whores! Murderers!

Three of you for every dog killed!


What harm did he ever do, this faithful friend?

What's happening tonight, anyway?

I feel storms in my belly.

Love is beautiful when it's storming.

Right, Krisha?

Signorina, have you seen my wife anywhere?

I've seen many wives since I work for Dr. Züberkock.

A woman in a red dress, seated there.

The lady went to sleep. She's upstairs.

Not SO loud!

You see what they did to your boy?

My sweet Mommy...

You're my true love...

My little girl ...

My sweetheart.


Good night. Sweet dreams, my precious Mommy.

Close all the lights.

Close up everything.

No one lives here anymore.

I keep thinking that our dear Xavier should get married.

One needs a woman, my boy.

A house should always have a woman.

"A house without a woman", they say in my parts, "is like the sea without a Siren."

Don't you agree with me?

This was... the nice surprise that Dr. Xavier had prepared for you.

Raina and Vessilas. Two darlings.

You can begin.

We're not ready!

Sit down, Signora.

Sit down, sit!

We're here to applaud you.

Look, my boy. They have skin that glows.

Come, they're dancing!

Fred Astaire.

The lights went out!

It's better in the dark!

And that other song that went...

We're prettier by candlelight.

You dance so well ... Such class!


My son, the night has begun.

And with each new night, the great journey begins.

Do you know where I go every single night?

TO him!

To my great, my one and only love!

Remember that actress, always wrapped in furs with sensuous lips?

Once we stole her poster from the movie house and took turns each night. What royal jackoffs!

What a beautiful nightshirt.

The Master's father slept in it, and his father before hi m.

And tonight you'll sleep in it too.

This was their room.

Someone must always sleep here, or else they'll come.

But with an onion by your side, you will sleep till morningtide.

But I don't want to sleep!

"Peel the lady

''made of fruit.''

"With 3 apples 'neath his bed The ugly voices took and fled."

"Dream of bliss And the Moon Maid's kiss."

Let's question him, girls!

Are you in love?

How old are you?

Own up, how old?

I hit fifty, but I'm still nifty!

Go, Snaporaz!

He's off to a good start!

Listen to the wind, and all the Secrets it tells.

Thank you, that'll do.

Dream, dream, pretty boy.

A great woman weaves your destiny.

Dream of me, the prettiest who satisfies every whim.

Good night, it's late.

Look at me...

Good night, Daddy Longlegs. And remember:

"Shut your eyes right away"

"And heed not what the voices say."

Oh, we're stuck!

Choosing between you two is no easy matter.

Wait! Don't go yet.

There's one little thing. Come closer.

Good night.


It's important.

What do you want?

I want to make love!

Make love!

But it's raining...

Quiet. We're guests.


Look what your whores have done to you.


Well what?

You’re dead!

I'm tired. I've been traveling.

I thought we were separated.

It's freezing up here.

How much longer...?

There! He stuck his head Out.

Who are you? What are you doing here?

Hi there!

Hey, Snaporaz!

Rosina, Rosina, she quenches my thirst The girl with the most, and also the first

It tickles!

I'll call your mother. Stop it!

I'm working.

Want a good smack? You'll get it all right!

Come here.

Look who’s here!

Will you look who's here Remember the lovely fishmonger?

Oh, how we sighed, how we cried

Take a look at this fish!

Eat my fish and you'll make love till you're a hundred.

The fish lady from San Leo!

The eyes of a wildcat.

Had I been a fish!

She was like a dream In the dark, she was a shark!

Good-bye! Oh, the nurse... from the health resort.

Let me see the nurse.

With all those teeth!

Feeling better today?

My little bube become big strong fella.

I wanted to marry her.

Imagine having a wife who carries you to bed.

She was German.

What was your name?

The most breathtaking, spectacular show ever offered to the public:

The Circle Of Death.

You won't believe your eyes.

You won't believe it possible.

And yet, look what we have here:


The pride and joy of the U.S.A.

And Ginette Lamour! A Parisian thoroughbred!

They'll knock you dead!

Matchless beauty, and unsurpassed courage!

They risk their lives in a terrifying Circle Of Death.

Look Marcello, see what I see?

Remember? Way back in '23?

Wait for me!

Oh la la, oh la la, Oh la la, the cinema!

The cinema!

Are you that sure of yourself?

Do you really think you can read a woman's heart?

It's too late, Ivan.

The Ambassador has ordered my re-entry.

For me, it's already winter!

The widow on the grave!

To whose ass I was a Slave!

You're monotonous, dear Marcello A woman, my good fellow, doesn't begin from behind Behind, behind Marcello, remember that bordello?

The "assophile's delight" You became one overnight An "Assophile", overnight!

Hey! Good-bye... farewell!

Get my coat, Adelina.

It was cold up there.

You're crazy.

At our age one should stay at home!

The lights?

We finished before time.

Where're you going?

How'll I get down?

Don't break our gonads!

I close cage!

You’re so ridiculous! Ridiculous!


You forgive?

Poor thing.


Hello, I ...

Hey, open up! Open!

Why pick on...?

Where am I?

This was the nicest part. Open up!

Let's take a look-see.

He fainted. I knew it...

Could he be faking it?

Oh dear, he weighs a ton. He overeats.

He's too heavy, I'll crack my arm.

He looks familiar.

Hold him.

For a minute I thought...

This one's much older!

Signora, I'll leave him here.



I told him: stay home, watch TV.

Ricitelli, Achille, alias Ricky!

Tower 22! Ring number 7.

Go to it, boys. Guts!

You're getting fat.

I'll have to fine you.

Honey, I called your wife and sister. I get your silk robe, right?

You've been called. They're waiting.

Why me? I'm no Latin lover.

You tell her. Give me a minute, let me explain.

No, I'm not going. Leave me!

I have to write to my wife!

To my mother! Let go!

Comrades! Help!

Why are you here?

You maintain ... that you lost your way?

Why didn't you go back?

Great! I even broke my glasses.

What's the biological difference between male and female?

Have you ever known the real woman?

Why do you go prying in a world that escapes you?

Why did you choose to be male?

Have you explored your feminine component?

Spadone, Roberto!

Officially registered: male.

Specific characteristics: male. Hair: male.

At your service, Signor Roberto.

I'll consign it immediately, don't worry.

Keep it hanging, boys!

Good luck.

Come back, Signor Roberto!

Where do they go? What's over there?

You tell hi m. Why do they go there?

To know the ideal woman.

The woman of your dreams.

That Undiscovered Lady.

Describe your orgasm!

What is this?

I don't remember. Stop this nonsense!

Sorry, I really don't remember.

How can I answer you?

I'm confused.

Can't we end it here?

Let's... let's call it quits.

Thanks for everything, and "arrivederci", huh?

Besides, it's cold here. I mean it was fun, but...

Hold your arm right out. Go on.

Can't make it?

You're rickety.

You've probably never pointed out anything to anyone.

Mention a woman’s name!

Immediately! Don't think twice.

I don't know... Pippo!


I said Pippo because... just like that.

Don't ask me why.

It's strange, I admit...

Ring number 4!

Mataluso, Sabino!

What? I don’t understand.

The charges!

Refuses to answer: "Why are you here?"

Refuses to answer: "Why did you choose to be a male?"

Refuses to reveal all he knows.

He has no ready answers.

He never gives, nor lends, nor trusts.

He can't offer a woman true sexual fulfillment.

He can neither define nor distinguish his feminine component.

He repeats himself.

He wears socks in bed.

He's guilty of being aloof, self-indulgent.

He pities himself.

He can't find a way out.

He's afraid of decisions. He's always mum.

He's guilty of feeling guilty.

Takes himself too seriously.

He's guilty of "maniacal assophilism".

He cannot commit himself to one woman.

He deceives himself by imagining an ideal woman.

He believes that woman are mentally inferior.

He considers them superior beings.

He prefers the dark side of the moon.

He can't justify his aggressiveness, his vulgarity, his arrogance towards women.

He feels lonely...

Don't kiss me. Keep away.

This style's becoming.

You're annoying!

You were so cute...

He can't cook.

And he pees standing up.

You're free. Go home.

Well, aren't you happy?

He's surprised. You didn't expect it, huh?

Where'll you go?

Now that I'm free, I'd like to continue and see what's beyond there.

He wants to see. What a nut!

That's probably what you want me to do.

Should I call up?

You were absolutely fantastic! He's done for, isn't he?

Yes, he's here.

I'll tell him.

I knew it! And now what?

I thank you for considering me worthy of this encounter!

Although it's a waste of time for me and you.

Well? What do you want from me?

You don't like this head? Off it goes!

My eyes offend you? I won't look.

Shake her. Break her.

Find her. Lose her.

Open her. Close her. Love her.

Kill her. Remember her. Forget her.

Go to her! Go to her!

Yes, I'm going.

She's got to show up now!

We'll finally see this ideal which I say doesn't exist.

She's always just beyond, always out of reach.

She's ominous.

Precision instrument for pecker weights.

What am I supposed to do up there?

Make love? With Her? It's profanity!

It'd be a calamity for me if I found that she feels pleasure like the others do.

He's really going up?

Poor guy!

Where am I going? I'll never make it.

There's no air.

It's a lifetime I've been up here.

I could Swear I hear a voice.

A familiar voice.

Hang in there, Ole Snaporaz. Go on.

There's no turning back.

If you existed, would you be my reward or punishment?

Please, let me go.

Have mercy.

Get me out of this mess. What good am I to you?

I don't need you, and vice versa.

Could it be we've already met but that I don't recognize you?

My first love?

No, you must be somebody new.

Someone born out of me, as I was born out of...


I beg you, if you exist, if you are, show yourself.

Now I need you. You must come forth.

I will close my eyes and count up to 7.

After all, this can't go on.

All right.

When I open them, you'll appear... near me.

I'll start counting.


I was falling asleep.

Good boy, you won!

Me too because I was betting on you.

See that? They're all going away.

So that you may enjoy your triumph.

There's the Grand Prize!

It was Dr. Xavier who sent it to you. He's so fond of you!

Come! Come, my son!

Don't delay.

Delay no longer. Hurry!

Come, come.

Up there?

Yes, up there, little boy.

The Great Woman, long dreamt weaves a destiny of joy.

Who are you?

Who are you?

What's eating you?

You've been mumbling and moaning for two hours.

What's wrong?

Your glasses.