Club sandwich (2013) Script

All done.


Finished.

Good. Now we just have to wait till it soaks in.

No, don't. You're going to stick to the bed.

-No, this one takes five.


What about the red one?

The red bikini. You don't like anymore?

I like this one more.re.

I don't.

I don't like yours either.

You bought them for me.

For swimming class.

They're too small for you now.

I like them.

And I like mine.


It's empty.

It's low season.

It's cheaper.

Want to go for a swim?


-No, again.

-No, spank.

No, my turn.

Bitter?

Hemorrhoids.

Ok, go.

Fart?

Your turn.

I can't stand it when you call me honey-bun.


-To the bathroom.

-Lift the seat if you pee. -Okay.


Prince?

What about it?

Why do you like Prince?

Because he's a great musician.

Because he's sexy.

Him He's sexy.

Him, his music, all of it is sexy.


Am I sexy?

Yes.

In a different way.

What do you mean?

You are sexy.

Not like Prince, but in your own way.


Do you know what you're having?

A club sandwich. You?

A sandwich.

Club?

No, just a sandwich.

And to drink?

A chocolate shake?

Why don't you order a club sandwich?

Too much bread.

-It's fattening.

You're not fat.

Thanks.

Can I have your pickles?

Can I have your tomatoes?


It's disgusting.

-You're disgusting. -I know.

-Ouch! -Sorry.

-I don't know.

Have you ever squeezed anyone else's?

No, just yours.

-Never.

-Because they're disgusting.

-You're my son.

-Nothing about you disgusts me.

Fucking mosquito! Why don't they bite you?

Let's go up. They're going to eat me alive.

Ten... nine...

...eight... seven...

...six... five...

...four... three...

...two... All done.

Two out of three.

-One more minute. -Two out of three. Go on.

-Don't wet the floor. I won't.


I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

For a walk.

Don't be long.

I won't.


Don't wet the floor. -I won't.


What?

Why don't you wear the boxers I bought you?

I like my Y-fronts.

-They're hideous. -I like them.


What?

Nothing. I like looking at you.

Hector!

-You are growing a mustache.

-No. -I swear.

-No. -Touch it.

-No.

-No.

-Go on. -All right.

Enough...

That's enough!

I want to go to sleep!

All right.

Goodnight. -Night.

Love you. -Me too.

Should I shave it?

Best not to. It'll only grow back thicker.


What's wrong?

It's the bed.

What about it?

-There's a spring. A what?

A spring.

Yes.


You're right. It's a bastard.

Which side do you want?

Hec-tor...

Hec-tor...

Hector!

Hector!

How did you sleep?

Like a log.

Two out of three?


Don't wet the floor.

Did you hear me?

I heard you.

Are you sure?

Ok.

Don't forget your sunblock if you go out.


Hey...

Hey...

You got burned.


Now we just have to wait till it soaks in.

Jazmin.

HectHector.


Who are you here with?

My mom.

And your dad?

No what?

I don't have one.

It's cool.

Thanks.


So why did you come to this hotel?

It was a promotion.

Why at this time of year?

The promotion.

I think it's dry now.

No, not yet.

This was my mom and dad's favorite hotel.

I was conceived here.

Here?

Room 306.

Right here?


I think it's dry now.

Yes, it's dry.

Apply it three times a day.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

How long?

I don't know.

Two, three hours?

I don't know. I fell asleep.

I told you not to forget the sunblock.

Does it hurt?

Yes.

Are you hungry?

Yes.

Club sandwich?

No, quesadillas.

Where was I made?

What?

You and him... Where did you make me?

I don't know, Hector.

It wasn't special?

No...

I mean... Yes...

...yes, it was special.

Then why don't you remember?

-You can't remember every time.

Because people have sex lots of times, Hector.

Some people remember.

Some people don't fuck much.

-Hector!


Mom?

Mom...

Mom...

-Nothing. You were having a nightmare.


Why don't you go to the beach?

I'm not leaving you all burned out like that.

-Mom. -For better or for worse.

What have you got?

A pair.

Three of a kind.

10, 11, 14, 15 plus 8 is 23...

24, 25 times 2 is 50.

Your turn.

-No. -No.

Two points.

Is there nothing else on?

No.

Do you want me to change it?


Mom.

What?

Can you change it?

I'm watching it.

Mom.

Mom.


It's hot, isn't it?

Yes. Very.

What if we turn the A/C on?

It sets off my allergies.

The A/C?

I wasn't breast fed...

...and when you're not breast fed, you're more susceptible to allergies.

What bed do you think you were made in?

This one.


What?

Nothing.

I think it's dry now.

Yes, it's dry now.

-Thanks. -You're welcome.


Two out of three?

You shower first if you want.


Love you.

Me too.


-To the bathroom.

-Lift the seat if you pee. -Okay.

-Hi. -Hi.

May I come in?

My dad and Consuelo are here.

I'll meet you at the pool in ten minutes.

Here in ten minutes.

They're not going out.

What about your room?

-Bye. -Bye.

103.


-Hi. -Hi.

May I?


Do I smell bad?

No, it's just that this one is more...

...masculine.

Don't you want to try it on?


It's hot, isn't it?

Very.

Do you want to watch TV?

Nope.


Hi.

I'm Paloma.

Jazmin.

Nice to meet you, Jazmin.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Don't call me ma'am.

Nice to meet you, Paloma.

What are you guys up to?

Nothing.


Aren't you hot?

Don't you want to turn the A/C on?

She's allergic.

To the air conditioning?

See you later?

Nice to meet you, Paloma.

You too, Jazmin.

What's that smell?

Jazmin what?

How old is she?

In this one.


Where are you going?

-We're having dinner with them. -Mom.

Dad.

Vega... what else?

Vega Sanchez.

When did you turn sixteen?

January 31st.

Do you like high school?

How long you've been married?

Six months.

What kind of music do you like?

A bit of everything.

Rock?

No, not so much.

Hector's taking drum classes. Aren't you?

It's very hot here, isn't it?

Good thing that it cools down at night.


It's weird. That she doesn't like music.

She doesn't like rock.


And if we go upstairs?

To your room?

My dad is there.

What about your room?

My mom is there.

And if we swim?


Want to swim?


I'm going for a walk. Are you coming?

In a bit.

-See you. -Bye.


Do you like her?

I guess...

You guess?

I guess she's okay.


We have to talk.

Ok, so maybe you don't like her so much...

...but things can happen...

...something can happen, you know?

...and...

...I mean if... if...

...if something happens you have to take care of yourself, Hector.

There are things you can use to take care of yourself but the best thing is...

The condom.

Exactly.

The condom.


Are you sure?

Just a club sandwich.

-Nothing.

Can you get me a beer and a glass of milk, please?

I don't want milk.

Thanks.

You can't sleep on an empty stomach.

I don't want milk.

What are you up to for tomorrow?

Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing?

Yes, nothing.

-You're going to drink that milk. -No.

I'm not asking you. You're going to drink that fucking milk!


We're going to the beach.

I don't want to.

I'm going to brush my teeth and I'll meet you at ten.


Who's coming for a swim?

I don't like swimming.

Hector?

In a bit.


It is delicious.


Fucking mosquito!


Thanks.

When are you leaving?

Tomorrow.

They moved the date of my dad's surgery up.

A tequila, please.

-Mom.

We should make a goodbye toast.

So what do you feel like doing?

Punishments?

Whoever gets the highest card gets to decide the punishment...

...and the person with the lowest card is the one who gets punished. Okay?

-Ten. -Seven.

Three.

Your punishment is to...

...dance.

Dance?

Yes, dance.

What do you want me to dance?

Something sexy.


Ten.

Two.

Three.

Your punishment is...

..."Death in Hawaii".

Mom.

You have to sing "Death in Hawaii".

♪ I've fought With crocodiles ♪

♪ I've balanced on a wire Carrying 500 kilos ♪

♪ I've traveled around the World in less than a second ♪

♪ Crossed 100 labyrinths And never got lost ♪

-Mom.

The chorus, Hector.

♪ For you, everything I do, I do for you ♪

♪ You bring out The best in me ♪

♪ I am what I am ♪

♪ Because you're everything I've ever wanted ♪

Seven.

Uh! Queen.

Six.

Your punishment is...

...to leave.

Only kidding!

It was just a joke.

Your punishment is to... imitate a seal.

I don't want to play anymore.

Don't be a spoiled sport. Go on.

Nine.

Three.

Seven.

Your punishment is going to be...

...to go get some potato chips.

There are none here.

Yes, there are. Go find them.


♪ I've fought With crocodiles ♪

♪ I've balanced on a wire Carrying 500 kilos ♪

♪ I've traveled around the World in less than a second ♪

♪ Crossed 100 labyrinths And never got lost ♪

♪ Breathed in and out Of the water like seals♪

♪ I'm bulletproof, I catch bullets with my mouth ♪

♪ My creativity soars Like airplanes ♪

♪ I can build a brain Without instructions ♪

♪ I speak every language Of every alphabet ♪

♪ I have a bigger vocabulary Than any dictionary ♪

♪ I have the sight of an eagle, The sense of smell of a dog ♪

♪ I can walk barefoot Over iron nails ♪

♪ I am immune to death ♪

♪ I do not need blessings Because ♪

♪ I always have good luck ♪

♪ Come with me to take A walk around the park ♪

♪ Because I have more stories to Tell you than García Márquez ♪

♪ For you, everything I do, I do for you ♪

♪ Because you bring out The best in me ♪

♪ I am everything that I am ♪

♪ Because you are everything That I want ♪

♪ For you, everything I do, I do for you ♪

♪ Because you bring out The best in me ♪

♪ I am everything that I am ♪

♪ Because you are everything That I want ♪

♪ I can jump rope With only one leg ♪

♪ I can see in the dark Without a flashlight ♪

♪ I can cook whatever you want I am a chef ♪

♪ I have sex 24/7 all month ♪

♪ I can blow away The gray clouds ♪

♪ so you'll have a good day ♪

♪ I also know how to communicate Telepathically ♪

♪ For you, I will cross Borders without a visa ♪

♪ And bring out a true smile From the Mona Lisa ♪

♪ For you, I breathe Before dying ♪

♪ For you I go to church and listen to The whole Sermon without sleeping ♪

♪ I continue being King, though I do not have a kingdom ♪

♪ My sweat smells like perfume And my hair is always done ♪

♪ I know how to fight in All the martial arts ♪

♪ I also know how to Communicate with the animals ♪

♪ The more time passes, The younger I look ♪

♪ And I composed this song Without hearing like Beethoven ♪

♪ For you, everything I do I do for you ♪

♪ Because you bring out The best in me ♪

♪ I am everything that I am ♪

♪ Because you are everything That I want ♪

♪ For you, everything I do I do for you ♪

♪ Because you bring out The best in me ♪

♪ I am everything that I am ♪

♪ Because you are everything That I want ♪