Cool World (1992) Script

Oh...

Oh.

Mom, l'm home five seconds, you're already cooking.

Come here, l got something to show you.

-Well, wait a minute. -Outside.

Wait a minute. l haven't finished cooking your dinner.

Yeah, it's a surprise. lt's all right.

Come on.

Shut your eyes.

Good. Shut 'em.

-Okay, you ready? -Mm-hmm.

-You sure? -Mm-hmm.

All right.

Whoa. Turning.

Oh, it's cold. lt's not cold.

Even the chickens are cold.

Okay, steps. We have steps.

-Ready? One... -One...

-...two... -...two...

-...and three. -...three!

Okay, look.

-No, that's not it. -Well...

Shut 'em. Shut 'em. Come on.

Now, Frank... h-how far are we gonna go? Ooh.

Come on, come on. Come on...

You're all right.

Sweetie, the dinner's just gonna...

The dinner's fine.

Okay.

Almost, almost... now... now!

Oh, it's ...

-ls that beautiful? -Oh, it's ...

-Huh? -lt's lovely. l know. l won it in a poker game in ltaly.

-Huh? -Well... well, drive it carefully, honey. l will.

-Enjoy it... -l will. but be careful.

God, Ma, you're such a mom.

You ready? We're going for a ride.

Oh, no, no. l have to finish dinner.

Ma, Ma, one ride.

Oh. Oh...

Watch this, Ma, no hands.

Oh, Frank, don't do that! l wouldn't do that. Come on.

You!

l'm in for five.

Thank you, gentlemen.

My pleasure.

Hey, girl. Get in here.

Whoa!

-Oh! -Whoa!

This is fun, right?

Maybe.

Yeah.

-Ooh, careful. -Hey, l'm driving here.

l'm home.

Whoo!


Mortar's coming! Mortar's coming in!

Machine gun, right flank! Machine gun, right flank!

Medic!

That's when you saw them, huh?

Well, it works.

My Spike works.

Okay. Okay.

Easy, easy.

Okay.

-Take it easy. -Take it easy.

No!

l've got a headache.

Have you got some Wite-Out?

Ma!

Ma!

You don't know what it is you got yourself into, bud, but you're a long way from home.

Oh, but it's so confusing.

Where to go, where to go... yes...

Ma!

Oh, bother.

What the hell are you?

They're doodles.

Cartoons?

Don't get too close, Doc. l can't believe what l've done.

My Spike was supposed to send me to your world, but instead you're here.

This man's not dangerous to anyone.

As for us, son, we may not be real to you as yet...

...but we will be.

You've come to a whole new world.

You've done something extremely rare.

You see, you're in a real place called the Cool World.

Hmm.

Oh. How strange.

Say " ah."

Ah.

But when it comes to making the trip in the body...

Did you hear about the wolf that built the studio?

-No, not... -...l've never seen it before.

Oh!

Oh, my goodness. l'm sorry about your mother.

You're cartoons.

You're not real.

Oh-ho, we're real, all right.

The possibility of interworld travel has been an obsession of mine for many, many years.

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Hey, Doc, wait.

This man is not for you.

He's not a police problem.

He's a mystery of science.

And a hero to boot. l ain't no hero.

Oh, don't be so sure, friend.

With this hole l've opened, there could be all kinds of problems. Ha-ha.

They call me Doc Whiskers.

What's your name, son? l'm Frank Harris.

What did you do in your world? l was a soldier.

Oh, you could be useful here when l'm gone.

Where are you from?

Um, Vegas.


Tomorrow we're out of here.

You're just a drawing, Holli, but without you, l'd never have made it.

Oh, you look good tonight, babe. lt's time you came to me, Jack.

Come to me.


Ooh, baby!

-Hey-ya, hey-ya. -Hey-ya, hey-ya.


l've been waiting for you, darlin'


-Huh? -Hmm?

Uh, Sparky, uh, whatcha up to, huh?

What makes you think l'd tell a little punk like you?

Why, he's going soft for that tomato.

Uh... w-w-what's her name?

H-H-Holli or something. Yeah.

Enough out of you, kitty.

You're too young to be thinking about girls.

Especially that girl.

Here.

A bunch of wooden nickels.

Don't spend them all in one place.

W-W-What?


Philip flew the coop last night.

Hey, Molina! Hey, Molina!

Come over here.

Did you step in it?

Hey, there's a flower on your head.

There's are lots of...

Hey.

Look out!

l hate it when she meets guys without tellin' me. l light up like Neon Just a tiny section of your affection in my direction Will do Ooh.

-Detective Harris.

What a pleasure. l was just rehearsing.

Hello, Holli.

This is an exact replica of the dress Marilyn Monroe wore in Let's Make Love.

Oh! l know that movie by heart.

The girl gets get everything by the end of it.

Everything she ever wanted.

lt's real. l mean it. l even saw a copyright date on it.

Rumor has it, Holli, that you had a noid visitation at the Slash Club last night. lt was just a mind slip.

Nothin' special.

You're just a regular true believer in law and order, huh?

Give me a couple, Jack.

Come on, let's go.

Beat it, copper.

Yeah.

-Go on, beat it. -Beat it...

Just doing my job.

-Come on let's go. -Come on.

Hey, Frank?

Don't go just yet.

Come here. l got somethin' to show you.

Guess what? l've seen your little museum of Vegas.

And don't start in with your Vegas Vinnie rap. l've heard it. lt bores me.

Vegas Vinnie made the Spike-- crossed over and became the owner of the Union Plaza Hotel.

Vegas Vinnie is a fairy tale, Would.

Doodle moms tell it to doodle kids to help them go to sleep.

lt could all be true.

You got over here.

So why couldn't he make it over there?

Or for that matter, why couldn't l?

You could help me.

There'll be no crossovers while l'm around.

l've got news for you, pal. l am not your ordinary doodle. l've been checking up on what these noid dames have got going in the real world, and l want it!

Don't you see?

They're real.

They've got power.

When they touch something, they feel it.

And when they taste something...

...they really taste it.

And when they do it with a man...

...they really do it.

Ooh...

What can l say, sweetheart? l can't help you out in that department.

Well, don't you see?

Believe it. l've had enough.

Oh, yeah? Fine.

You don't want to help me?

Then l'll find somebody else that will.

Like that noid cartoonist, Jack Deebs.

He's been around a lot lately.

Yes, he has.

The whack-a-do who thinks he invented this place.

What do you think l've been talking about, Holli?

Well, l'd watch it, honey, 'cause there might be two of you before long.

l'm going to tell you this once

'cause you got to be smarter than you look.

You're dealing with shit here that's way over your head.

Yeah...

Now, keep your legs crossed and forget about the real world.

Hmm!

Thank you for your time.

Would you look at those legs!

Doh!

Hey...!

Yeah.

Stay cool, man.

l'm out of here.

Hey, Bobby, let's go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey.

What are you guys doing?

Get off the lawn.

-Shut up. -What?

Get your ball and get out of here.

No!

Hi, Gail, it's me, Jennifer.

What do you mean? l'm here.

Yeah, l'll call you later tonight, okay?


Thank you.

Oh, boy. Another addict, huh?

Uh-huh.

My God, it's you, isn't it?

You're Jack Deebs, the creator of Cool World, right?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God. l can't believe this.

Do you have any idea what kind of an inspiration your work is to people?

No, l, uh... l mean, l know people-- friends of mine who want to be Holli Would when they grow up.

-Really? -Yeah.

Sparks, the goons, all of them.

Oh, man.

Your stuff, it's like crucial spiritual nourishment for people.

They live on it.

Oh, man. lf my boss was here, he'd , like, throw himself on the ground right now and give you a lifetime gift certificate

-to this place. -Really?

Oh, yeah.

He's kind of crazy.

Hey, would you sign this for him?

Thank you.

Thanks. Oh, go ahead.

Cool, Mike.

So, um... you living here now again?

Yeah, l just, uh... l just got back.

Yeah?

Well, um, when this place closes down, l go down to this place right off the strip for coffee.

They, uh, read poetry, do jazz, you know.

Problem is, you know, l just, uh... l just got, uh, got back into town, as l said, and l, uh, haven't really got my feet, uh, you know, on the ground.

Uh... but it's really nice of you to ask.

-Sure. -Thank you.

Hey, Deebs, why don't you do a book on that guy you murdered?

You know, that guy you found in bed with your wife.

So, uh, what do l...? lt's on the house.

Oh, okay. Thanks.

So maybe, uh, some other time?

Thanks.

Who are you?

Who am l?

Who are you, yes. l'm , uh... l'm , uh, Jack Deebs.

Really? l didn't realize that.

-Nice meeting you, Jack. -Nice to meet you.

Stay well.

-Yeah. -Thank you.

See ya.

Hey, bright eyes, yo!

You going to pay for that?

Jack!

Gee whiz, sis. l don't know. lt looks like such fun down there.

All l need is a four and l win.

lt's a four, yay!

Oops... snake eyes!

You lose.

But... but l won.

You lost.

Pay up.

Well, my dear, we can always take it out in trade.

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Listen here, fleabag, pay up or your inside... is gonna be your outside.

Whee!

Look at that!

Slash? ls that you?

Put her there, pal.


Get away from me!

Ooh, l look fabulous, honey!

Get away from me!

You lost it, man!

That's why you're here.

Get away!

-Ooh, darling, l want your hair. -Get off!

Ooh, and your neck, ooh!

-Get off! -Ooh, l could just squeeze it.

Let me see your ear, sweetie.

Oh, don't be shy.

Get off!

He loves me, he loves me not.

He loves me, he loves me not.

He loves me... mmm!

He loves me.

Now, be nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Ooh, hello, Holli.

Ooh, you never cease to amaze me.

How fabulous your hair looks today.

Boy... can she knock it back.

Hey, hey, how about saving some for me?

Please!

Hey, come on, come on!

Holli wants to get a look at you. Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a nice little boy.

Come, darling, she awaits.

A little closer.

Let her see you. Ah, yeah.

Welcome to my world... big man.

Am l...

Am l dreaming?

Am l dreaming you?

Or are you dreaming me?

l drew you. l made you.

Hey, l... maybe l can erase you.

You wouldn't erase me, baby.

You're too hungry for what l got.

No, l'm , uh... l'm trying to quit.

Since it's only a dream, indulge your fantasies, Jack.

You're so real, so strong.

You could help comb my hair, tickle my mind, and...

Yes, l have failed.

Thank you. l'm calm now.

Boo-hoo, boo-hoo!

Filthy bad guys didn't play fair.

l want you to tear and rip their miserable faces inside out till their mother doesn't recognize them.

Pretty please?

Let's go, guys. Come on.

Wait for me!

l got news for you, baby.

l'm made of ink... but l'm no dream.

Ah!

What'd you do that for?

Because l dig you.

This is a long dream. lsn't it, Jack?

The poppers.

Let's burn.

What?

Let's go. Come on.

Come on.

To the left.


Do you like it, Deebs?

Yeah.

Course you do.

This is your idea of heaven, right?

Yeah, it's , uh... it's amazing, it's incredible.


But l won.


Little late for a lady to be out on the streets, don't you think? l got a couple of questions for you, miss.

Aw, come on, Officer. Let it slide, would ya? l'm tired.

Word is, you got a thing for noids.

Yeah, l got a thing for noids.

But what's it to you, tough guy?

Baby, baby, you don't know how tough it is.

You're late.

Aw, you're killing me.

Why are you so beautiful?

Mm-mm-mm.

What's wrong? You don't look right.

Aw, it's Holli. l think she's in heat again.

With that noid from last night?

Oh, don't worry about it.

You know that. Wh-Why you always want to bust...?

Gotcha.

All right. Where you wanna go?

Uh, movies? Uh, dinner...?

We have abused the privilege...

Our color is fading.

Repent, repent, all toons.

Listen to me. The end is near.

Hey, Boss, we gotta go. We...

A thousand pardons.

An informer told me he's here again.

Holli and the goons got him.

He's not just coming through on a dream.

Perhaps it is time to pursue other avenues.

Right, let's hit the bricks.

Yeah, yeah, l know.

Be careful, Frank.

Oh, l think she's partial to you.

Yeah, but facts is facts.

She's a doodle, and l'm not.

Eh, l guess, but did l ever tell you about the time l took up with the most delightfully-stacked hussy from the projects?

Yeah.

Right. Where to, Boss?

The club.

All right.


Aye, aye, aye!

Hey, Baby, how you doing?

Chico?

Chico, is that you? l ain't no Chico, runt.

And no noids.

He's with me.

Sorry, baby. No noids.

He is with me, too.

Can't let the neighbors push us around, can we?

Freeze, asshole.

Uh-oh!

Cool World Police.

Ooh!

Copper!

Up against the wall.

Get your hands off me.

Where are your manners, Harris?

You, be quiet.

Hey, who are you?

Who are you? l didn't create you.

No shit, Sherlock.

What'd you do with this, Deebs? l'm a cartoonist. l drew all this. l have visions, l... l have visions. l translate this.

You do nothing, man.

This place exists with or without you.

You believe me, right? l'm not one of your creations.

Don't believe him!

No, you're not pretty enough.

Good one.

Have a seat.

Ordinary fountain pen, right?

Yeah.

Wrong. Around here...

Sit down!

Around here, this can be a big nuisance.

You thirsty, Nails?

Whoa!

Get it?

One should be careful how they wave this thing.

No, l don't get it.

Of course you don't get it, because you're a wackadoo.

But here you are, Jack.

And around here, everything goes.

Everything except one thing!

-Yeah, what? -Yeah, yeah, we know.

What's that? noids do not have sex with doodles.

Right? noids do not have sex with doodles!

lt's the oldest law in Cool World. l've never had to enforce it, but you cross that line, and l'll slap you around, make you piss like a puppy.

Jack... you think she's got a thing for you, don't you?

That's sweet.

But don't flatter yourself.

She's a waste of ink.

Oh, yeah?

The truth is, she's been after me and every other noid who's come through here. lt's just that no one's been insane enough to get involved with her.

You keep your pencil in your pocket.

You know what l mean?

Yeah. l'll remember that, Officer.

You can go now.

Where did you get your hair done, by the way?

Get out of here.

All right, the show's over!

So, Harris, you could have beat him.

You could have beat him.

You could of been somebody.

Oh, you're not yellow, are you, Harris?

You did well, Jack.


Hey, sexy.

Mmm. lt's the man with the badge. ln the flesh.

Don't remind me.

Oh-ho-ho.

How can l help it?

-Ah. -Mmm.

What are you doing to me?

You're messing me up.

Oh, honey, you're tense. lt's Holli again, isn't it?

Yeah, Miss Holli Would if she could.

That dame...

You heard anything?

Now, you know l don't listen to that sleazy cow.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Don't . Just don't .

Well, why?

Because we can never finish it, Lonette, you know? lt-it-it's frustrating. l'm , uh... l'm like a... l'm like a plug without a socket, you know?

Hey, Frank?

Hey, what?

Did you ever do it in the Real World?

Do you ever think about going back there so you can?

No.

No way.

Maybe you and me? l can't have that in the Real World.

Uh-uh. l can't live without you.

But l can't be with you, you know? lt's , jus... agh!

What do you do, huh?

What do you do?

Well, then... we're just going to have to pretend then, aren't we?

Hey, Boss!

Ooh!

Boss! l heard you, Nails.

Oh, my God, Boss! l wouldn't do it!

Oh! Whew!

Hey, Boss, did l ever tell you about...?

Shut up, Nails.

Jack.

Jack.

Come home, baby.

No... no... no...

No. No! No! No! No!


Glad you dropped in.


Well, here we are-- Holli's humble abode.

Do you think she'll let us in?

Forget it!

This party is by invitation only.

This door has got an attitude.


How much further?

Oh, uh... l'd say we're halfway up.

Or halfway down.

Right.

God, l hate heights.

Nails, this is no time to catch a cold. lt is not a cold, Boss. l am allergic to clouds.

What?!

Ah... ah... ah...

Oh... oh...

Choo!

Pull this?

Ah... ah...

Don't even think about it.

Ah... choo!

That step's smashingly good! Smashingly!

Yeah.

Make sure no one gets out this door.

Oh! Oh! Absolutemont, Boss.

Oh!

Stretcher bearers!

Stretcher bearers!

Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

Well, hello, Harris.

Welcome to the party.

And what a swell party it is.

Thanks for having me. l should have known riffraff like yourself would be involved in this equation, Sparks.

What equation is that, Harris? l've discovered that if you look for trouble, you find it.

What's your problem?

Bad childhood.

Where's the noid?

You're the only noid here, Harris.

Ooh!

Last warning.

You stay away from the noid, or you're closed for business permanently.

Have a splendid evening.

You want to know what it is about you that really kicks my ass, Harris?

How about my foot?

Well, you prance around here waving that gun around like you're some big deal.

And all this time, you could cross over to the Real World, but you haven't got the guts.

You don't have what it takes to be real.

That makes you a wimp in my book.

You may be right, Slick.

Be content with the cards you've been dealt.

Oh!

What's the deal? lt's getting serious, Nails.

Holli.

We got to find Jack Deebs.

Right.

Go for it! Go for it!

Should l get the door for you, Jack?

Oh, yeah! Oh, Yeah!

Go for it, Jack!

You better have an appointment!

Go on, Jack. Go on, Jack.

He does... but you don't .

But Holli said we could watch.

Watch what?

Go on up.

Go on up.

Go on.

Bring me a souvenir, Jack.

Hey, Jack. l've been waiting for you.

You like looking at me, Jack, don't you?

Yow!

Man is in the bedroom.

Run, girls, run! Oh-ho! Oh-ho!

-Okay... -What?

You listen to me, uh, Holli.

That cop, uh, Harris, um, he said we... we... can't go any further than this, Holli.

-l'm so hot for you, Jack. -Yeah.

Are you going to follow the rules?

No.

Or are you going to follow... your instincts?

Yeah.

Oh, but Holli said we could watch. l'll be right back.

Yep! Oh, yeah! Oh! Yeah!

Ooh...

Ooh.

Ah... ah...

Ooh.

Mm-hmm.

We're almost there.

Whoa! Okay...


Whoa... whoa!

Whoa!

Ooh!

Holli!

Holli...

Whoa...


Mm, was it good for you? lt wasn't what l expected.


Y-You gonna go in there and-and make it up to Lonette, boss?

Yeah, why not.

The fact is, she's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Oh, l could put overtime in on Deebs' Porsche. l'm tireless.

Forget it.

The goons can't touch him in Sweet Place, and we'd just run ourselves ragged giving him the shadow.

-Well... what should l do? -Hmm?

Man the phones, keep pumping our informants.

Somebody might l.D. him.

And if that happens, you call me.

You call me here or Lonette's , my place, l don't know.

Just don't make a move without me, you got it? l got it, boss!

Oh!

Come on, let's go, now!

Hey, Lonette... where's my drink, babe?

You know, l live to serve you. l heard you the first ten times.

Hey, come on, l'm -l'm sorry.

Get a little closer here, babe, give us a kiss.

Say it, don't spray it.

Go away. l'm out of here!

Tough night?

The usual.

Yeah.

Why you want to hang around here, huh?

This place should be erased.

Hey... it's a living.

Even a doodle's got to eat.

Why don't you put that arm around me. lt's been kind of a tough day.

Oh...

Ooh!

Yeah?

Listen, you sludge hog excuse for a cop.

Deebs and Holli just made it, and they're about to make an unscheduled trip to the other side.

Ooh... Oh! Doh!

Holli?! Sheesh!

No end of trouble that a little minx like her can make.

Why, she might damage the entire interworld matrix or something. l don't give a doodle!

Just bust her ass!

Ooh, better call Frank. Better call Frank.

Uh, oh, l just can't take it anymore.

Where's Frank?!

Frank! Frank Harris? Looking for Frank!

Frank! Frank!

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Where is he?! Where is he?!

Oh, no!

Frank!

Frank Harris!

Whoo!

Aah, aah, aah! Frank!

Frank! Frank!

Thank God!

Okay.

Yeah, Nails, what is it?

You having a good time, boss, eh? Heh-heh-heh!

Yeah, l guess l'm having a good time.

-Are we having a good time? -Yeah.

Nails, leave us alone.

Oh, l just love your little ears.

Okay, Nails, what's the problem?

Ooh! No trouble.

Nothing l can't handle myself. l was just checking in with youse. You know.

Yeah. You sure?

All right. Okay, Nails.


-lt's ... incredible. -Yeah.

No...

No... no...

Oh...

Wait a minute here!

What am l nervous for? Oh! l could do this job myself!

Hmm.

Mm... mm.

Mm, mm, mm.

Mm.

Ooh-ooh! Ooh! Aah!

Holli, why do we have to go back? lt's ... it's so great here.

Oh... but, Jack, we're noids and... noids just...just can't do doodle here and... l want to do it all, Jack, and together... together we're gonna be unstoppable.

Oh.

But you know something l go to do?

What? l got to go tell the boys good-bye.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, they're gonna be so lost without me. l bet. l know you do.

Okay.

Oh, Jack... l miss you already.

Oh, l know.

-l'll be back. -Be back soon, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

Oh, yeah.

Jesus! Why the hell did you do it?!

What, are those curtains you're wearing?!

Oh, oh, you look horrendous.

You look horrible.

You look like a high school hippie.

Peace, man.

That's right, boys. l made it.

Uh... Halt!

Yeah, halt, uh, halt, eeeee...! in the name of the law!

Eh... halt, l say!

Well, howdy, Nails.

As you see, there have been some changes around here.

You are a biomorphic menace. l forbid you to take one step out of the Cool World.

You eight-armed ink spot.

Who do you think you're dealing with? l'm real.

You made it with a noid!

You don't know what you are.

Mark my words, girlie-pie, you leave here and it is trouble for ya two. l'm leaving, pencil dick.

You just try and stop me.

Don't do it.

Don't do it, girl!

Ah!

Hmm!

Oh, that's so beautiful! Oh, so bad!

Oh, man, that's gotta hurt!

Oh, a pen job.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, pen me, too.

Pen me, pen me, pen me.

Ah! Oh! Oh, hit me. Yeah, hit me.

Oh! Hit me again.

Hit me, hit me.

Lover Jack, it's time to go.

Bounce out of here.

-We got to go. -Holli... Holli...

Jack, we got to get out of here.

Hold on tight.

Jack?

Oh... Oh, Jack. l really like it here.

Mmm. l think l'll go change.

Mom, he may be in trouble.

We got to help him.

Come on, let's go. lt's none of our business. lt is our business. He's our neighbor.

Come on.

Mm, l love her.

l love her.

Hello?

-Hey. -Hi.

Hey.

This is me.

Holli...

Me.

Um...

Jack.

Uh, lsabelle and Jennifer Malley, this is, um...

This is Holli.

-Hello. -Hi.

Holli's my friend.

This is Jack.

Hey.

Uh...

Holli is, uh... she's from out of town.

Well, we didn't mean to bother you. lt's just...

Well, we were scared you might be hurt.

No, no, no, uh...

No, but thanks for asking.

-Well... thanks. -Jack? lt's -it's -it's , uh... it's good to have nice neighbors.

Nice neighbors. l'm real.

Yeah, you sure are, honey. l'm real.

Bye.

She was really a cheap piece of work. l don't know, l thought she was kind of pretty.

You know, l got this crazy feeling, Mom, that l know that woman from somewhere.

He looks full of life to me, for goodness sakes.

Hey!

What happened, you ink stain?

He had a run-in with a noid, and then he got inked.

That damn Deebs. lt was Holli Would.

Holli is a doodle.

Not anymore.

She's made it with that Deebs asshole.

She's changed.

Now you can buy me more fries, dick head.

This is gonna be the biggest shit storm the Cool World has ever seen.

Round and round l go Like a leaf on a tide l should stay away, but what can l do?

Oh...

Oh. Oh.

So many men. Oh...

And they're real.

Oh, smell.... them.

Holli, Holli... you're with me, remember?

You know, you can't go around smelling people.

Yeah, Jack.

You sit.

Hey.

Hey.

So, uh, what do you want to drink?

Oh.

Anything they have.

You know, they got 95 different things, Holli.

Mm... whoa.

95?

Uh-huh. l'll have one of each.

Holli, you know, l'm into having fun and everything, but you got to slow down, okay?

What l want to slow down for? l'm gonna get everything l ever wanted.

You think any of these men are gonna say no to Holli?

Not on your life, pal.

Gentlemen prefer blondes.

Thank you very much, everybody.

Glad you enjoyed that.

Wonderful old standard.

" Let's Make Love."

Hey! She's with me!

No, she's with us.

Hey!

Stay out!


Hit it.

Uh, Brian, please.

Here we sit and we chatter What are we thinking of?

-Let's not make with the patter -Oh, whoa.

Baby Let's make love Oh, my, but it's stifling lf you roar like a lion l could coo like a dove lf you're sold, begin buying Baby Let's make love Gosh, it's hot No, don't turn TV on lnstead just turn me on l'll light up like neon...

When your partner gets inked, you do something about it.

He was your partner, so you do something.

Well, l'm not buying it.

Well, how about " a man's got to do what a man's got to do" ?

Can't you just think about me for a minute, Frank? l mean, where does this leave me?

What are you mad about?

Oh! l'm mad because you talk about crossing, and-and you don't even care... l don't care? how it makes me feel.

Whoa, whoa. How do you feel, Lon?

How do you feel?

Left out.

You think l want to go back there?

You think l want to go back?

Well, why wouldn't you want to go back?

That's real to you, isn't it?!

Let me tell you something about over there. lt hurts over there. lt-lt's lonely over there. lt's a war over there.

They got eight million ways for you to die, hon, and all of them are permanent.

This is real for me, this. With you.

And if l want to stay with you, l got to go back.

Because if Jack Deebs and Holli Would are after what l think they are, there won't be any here or there.

Understand, Loni? No more here.

Just go ahead!

Hey, hey, hey. l'm comin' back.


Jack.

Jack.

What's going on?

Something's wrong.

Something's very, very wrong.

No shit, pal.

So what is it? l mean, l'm ... l'm up there, and l was just... l was moving and shaking with the best of 'em.

And all of a sudden, l was... l-l went doodle again. l mean...


Look at this, Ma. No hands!

Oh, Frank, don't do that! l wouldn't do that. Come on!

No!

Good luck, Frank.

Please just let me think.

Let me think.

Cool, Jack.

Really cool. l guess you have a tough time driving and thinking at the same time, huh?

Oh!

The Spike of Power!

The what?!

The Spike could heal me.

Ooh, l guess Vinnie put the Spike at the top of the casino.

You're nuts.

You are nuts.

Don't say l'm nuts. l've had enough ego out of you, pal.

And you used to think you made me up.

You're thinking like a doodle, Holli.

There is no Spike of Power.

There's got to be a Spike of Power.

And l'm going to find it right now.

No, you're not.

Okay? Yeah.

We're going there, Jack.

No, we're not.

You're a nice fellow, Jack.

Don't piss me off.

Oh, yeah?

What are you going to do about it, Holli?

Huh?

Goddamn it!


What are you doing here, Harris? l'm taking you and the bimbo back.

What are you going to do? Shoot me?

Why don't you shoot me, goddamn it!?

Shoot me, Harris.

Go on, shoot...

Don't push me! Don't push me!

You just couldn't take a piece of good advice, could you?

No, Jack, you had to listen to your Johnson. l've had it with you, Harris. l've had it with you, goddamn it!

You've had it with me?!

You've had it with me, you piece of shit?

You screw us all for a piece of ass, and you've had it with me?

Where is she?

Great. lt's happening, Jack.

Got news for you, Harris. lt's happening to her, too.

Jack!

Jack, l saw it this time.

-Jack, l saw it. l swear it. -Jennifer... l saw this thing. lt ate your house again.

Remember when we came over earlier?

Jennifer... l wasn't imagining things. l...

All right, Jack.

Oh, this is another friend from out of town?

Uh-huh, yeah. l-l mean...

What happened to your suit?

What's going on between this guy and me, it's -it's -it's kind of, uh... complex. l-l can explain it some other time. l'll bet.

Look, we got no more time for Goldilocks here.

Where do we find Holli?

Okay, she went to the Union Plaza.

-The Spike. -She went to meet this...

She went to meet this guy, Vegas Vinnie.

The only problem is, she took my car, so... l've got my mom's car.

Let's go, miss.

We're trying to protect the balance of the entire known universe here.

Oh, gee, l guess my mom won't chuck a fit, then, if we took it, huh?

Wow!

Miss?

Miss?

Can l help you, Miss?

l'm looking for Vegas Vinnie.

There's no... there's no Vegas Vinnie here. l'm sorry.

He owns the place. l don't ... l... There's no Vegas Vinnie here. l'm sorry. l-l can't help you.


Do you know Vegas Vinnie?

No.

Sorry.

Do you know Vegas Vinnie?

Do you know Vegas Vinnie?

Vegas Vinnie is a story based on a real guy-- this doc l met-- when l first went across, uh, 50 years ago.

Cool World's real?

Neat!

He and l, we mapped out the tunnel, the passageway between both worlds.

And we saw how easily one could disrupt that balance and destroy both universes.

Destroy the universe?

When you have some money to spend, we'd love to see you, honey.

Until then, you have to keep out.

l can't ...

Oh!

Uh, pretty-looking sign we got up there, huh, Miss?

Yeah, that spike in the center. lt's real bright.

You sound kind of down, Miss.

Uh, have bad luck at the tables?

Let's just say it ain't been my day.

Oh, well, don't worry, uh...

Good Lord! l never thought l'd see it happen!

Miss, what you looking for, you can't find around here.

You better go.

How do you know what l'm lookin' for?

You do know what l am, don't you?

You know where l'm from.

Oh, my goodness.

Old man, l'm not leaving till l find out how you know so much. Talk!

Talk!

You're not telling me everything you know.

Y-Y...

Y-You...

Y-Y-You're d-doodle! ln Cool World, they knew me as "Whiskers."

Dr. Vincent Whiskers.

Didn't you touch the Spike?

Sure, l touched it, but l couldn't hold it.

No one can!

So it is up there!

And it is real, and it's going to make me real.

Sure, it's up there, but it's not going to do you any good.

Just because you weren't man enough to hold onto it. l need the force in that Spike.

And l'm going up there.

Whoo-whoo-whoo!

That power doesn't belong to you! l don't care. l want it.

And l don't care...

Stop!

Cease! Desist! l mean it!

-Ow, ow! -Make this easy on yourself.

There she is.

She looks pretty.

Come on, you little troublemaker.

Nobody's going to stop me now.

Harris, help me.

You've got to stop that girl. lf she moves it, it could be the end of everything.

Doc? Oh, my God.

-l gotta get... -Wait, wait.

Jack, please, l need you here to take care of my friend. Please.

This is my department. l gotta stop her, Harris.

-Jack! -Let go!

Wait, Jack!

Let me go, Harris. l'm not gonna hurt her.

Help him.


Holli.


Crazy doodle bitch.

All right.


Hello, Holli.

Guess what. You're through.

You know, sweetheart, you look good in the flesh. lt's almost a shame l gotta take you back.

You are going back, you know.

Would!

Um...

You're squeezing my head.

There.

As good as new.

Where do you think you're going? lt's over.

What are you gonna do-- jump?

Just get down.

For Christ's sake.

What? You got ink for brains? Get down.

Don't piss me off, Would.

You go on that roof, you screw us all. l'm not messing around here.

Oh, Christ.

There's nothing up there.

Let's just go home, fix this mess.

Get down!

Would!

Don't .

Harris.

What?!

Harris, help me.

Ah...

Help me.

Oh, Harris... help me.

Hold on. l should do the world a favor and let you fall.

Easy.

Easy does it.

Good.

Now, hold on.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're going home.

All right, careful.

Come on.

Oh, my God.

Jack, this is your chance to make it right. lt's up to you now.

Okay. Okay.

This time, l'm gonna do something right.


He's gonna kill himself.

He's fulfilling his destiny.

He's becoming a hero.


Oh, please.

The Spike. lt's up to me to return the Spike.

Got it!

-Whoa. -Whoa.

Whoa.

The pain is unbearable.

Hit me.

Deuces wild?

Heh-heh-heh-heh.

The world has only one chance left. lt's up to me to return the Spike and plug the hole.

Huh! You fiends!

Trying to stop me.


Baby, baby...

The king! Oh, it's the king!

Oh, l hate being bottled up like that.

Oh, man, boss.

Hold on. Hold on.


Hmm?

Feel the air, Jack.

We're staying. l like it here, Jack.

Come here.

Give me the Spike, Jack.

You love me, don't you, Jack?

Yes, l do.

Well, then, help me.

Give it to me, Jack.

Okay, honey-poo.

Hey, goodie-goodie-goodie.

Pencil dicks.

Aha!

A trick!

On second thought, l must do what is right and return the Spike.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Whoa!

Oh, golly, oh!


Hey!

Damn!

Jack?!

He-he's gone.

He's ...

He's gone.

Dead? l don't know for sure, but l don't think so.

You know, maybe the Spike protected them. lts power is beyond our understanding.

Mm-hmm.

l'm sorry he didn't make it. l got to take him back with me.

There's a nice gal back there.

She deserves to see him, dead or alive.

Okay, Doc, let 'er rip.

Wow.

Arriba, arriba, arriba, arriba!


Oh!

Oh, Nails!

He didn't make it. l'm sorry.

Oh, Frank, honey! No, please!

Oh, no, please, you can't leave me!

Oh, no!

Who killed him, Nails?

He was pushed off a building.

Who pushed him?

Holli Would.

Holli Would?

That bitch!

Nails, was she a doodle when she aced him?

Yeah! So what?!

So what?

Oh! So what?

Well, what happens to noids who traffic in the Cool World, Nails, when they get killed by a doodle?

They become a doodle themselves.

Hmm?

Hot dog! Dig it! Dig me!

Ba-ba-bum... ba!

Oh, my God!

Oh, Nails, he's alive!

Ooh, and he's gorgeous, too.

Hubba-bubba, baby.

What do you think?

Ooh, you're a hero, Harris.

You saved the world.

So what are you waiting for?

Come and get it.

Ooh, Frankie... so, did you do it while you were back there in the real world?

Did you do it while you were real?

Do you ever think about going back there so you can?

There's no reason now.

Hey, boss, we got to go.

Get out of here! l'm sorry. l'm so sorry. l can't stand myself.

Oh! l should have all eight legs.

Well, then, we're just going to have to stop pretending now, aren't we?

Bum, bum, ba.

Bye-bye, folks.

Have a nice life.

What a beautiful landscape.

Let's see.

We can put the house over here, the studio over here. l'll still draw, of course.

We'll raise children over here, l'll fight crime over there.

Oh, we're going to be deliriously happy, honey-poo.