Cop and a Half: New Recruit (2017) Script

As any officer knows, the key to good police work is knowing your beat.

I work the mean streets of Darville Middle School.

It might look like a harmless mix of acne and mind-numbing textbooks, but to my highly-trained eyes, this is a hub of nefarious activity, and it must be patrolled.

Today's case involves a cyber-bully, screen name "Gewelz," who's been making not-so-nice comments on social media pages.

I have a pretty good idea who it is, but I still need to prove it.

Buenos nachos, Mr. Alverez.

Just studying our Spanish.

Vaya con burritos.

Got the suspect in sight. Pretending to be studying. Over.

Look at this girl.

Is that a pimple or a volcano?

Classic line. Gotta post it.

Suspect is about to commit the crime.

As soon as the post is complete, I'll make the bust.

Over.

We're on the phone, K.

You don't have to keep saying "over."

"Is that a pimple or a..."

How do you spell "volcano"?

Gotcha.

Cyber-bullying is a crime, and you're busted.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think you do, Gewelz with a "G."

Yeah, well, your screen name should be

"New Girl Who Everybody Thinks is a Total Weirdo."

You really took me down. I don't know how I'm coming back from that.

I mean, I guess I could just... delete your account.

Two thousand pictures, and, not surprisingly, all of them of you.

Poof! Gone.

You hacked me?

I wouldn't really call it a hack.

I mean, "Farrah1!" as your password?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Before you do whatever you're about to do, let me just say two words.

Look out!

Nice try.

Sorry, Farrah.

That was lucky.

You're so over!

Excuse me! Pardon! On your left!

I knew there would be danger.

But there's nothing sweeter than serving up justice in an unjust world.

My name is Karina Foley.

And I'm a cop.

You're not a cop!

You're a 12-year-old girl with an overactive imagination and 200 bucks in janitorial fees.

Then why'd you make me hall monitor? I didn't!

You made that sash yourself!

Really?

Principal Miller, can I be the hall monitor?

Yeah, sure, whatever. Now, run along, young man.

You recorded me?

I record everything. It's good technique.

Well, don't!

I hate the sound of my own voice.

I won't even make the morning announcements if I don't have my smooth-jazz modulator.

Today, the lunch special will be sloppy joes.

See?

Sir, if you would just review the video evidence, everything...

You can review it yourself, after school, in detention.

Yup, it's a thankless job.

But there are bad people out there doing bad things, and somebody's gotta catch 'em.

Very tight-lipped...

Police have now...

Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.

What do we got?

Well, librarian showed up this morning, saw the place was trashed, heard some strange noises inside, called 911.

So, what are we doing out here?

Captain called the SWAT team. They're on the way.

SWAT, for a library vandal?

She thinks this could be our guy.

The Badge Bandit?

It's the fifth city building he's hit this month. Do the math.

He never even leaves a fingerprint.

This guy's a ghost. He's a phantom. He's a zombie.

No, he can't be a zombie. They got fingerprints.

Right.

That's some top-notch police work, O'Leary.

Well, if we have him trapped now, why are we waiting?

We got it covered, Simmons.

Great. All we need.

You two wait out here.

The Captain said... Hey!

It wasn't locked.


Captain Novack. Captain.

Can you explain to us why someone would launch a crime spree targeting municipal sites?

I mean, last week, all the city's pools were filled with hot sauce, and the week before that, all the city's hot sauce packets were filled with pool water.

Crime spree is a very strong phrase.

What the...

"While you chase your tails, I am laughing at you."

No.

What we are dealing with here is nothing more than a prankster, someone who is being apprehended as we speak by one of the city's finest police officers.

For those of you who've missed the many Channel 5 special reports, we now have multiple crime scenes at city-owned locations.

Garbage truck Jenga at City Sanitarium.

Toilet paper on the City Power Plant.

Upside-down furniture at the City Driving Center.

And a polka-dot paint job for the City Fire Hall.

No forced entry, no DNA, no clues whatsoever.

Except that our perpetrator likes to leave us one of these.

And a little poem mocking the police.

That's us.

That'll suffice, Oliver.

Now we have a nutcase out there who thinks that he is a comic book villain, and we have to catch this so-called "Badge Bandit" before the Harvest Valley Festival kicks off next week.

The last thing this city needs is panic on the biggest weekend of the year.

Got it?

Dismissed.

You disobeyed a direct order and went running into that scene like a teen girl at a boy-band concert.

I was following my instincts.

Well, your instincts don't exactly have a great track record.

Our suspect got away and made us look like fools in front of the press.

I can get this guy, Cap.

I want you to work the police-badge angle.

Somebody's mad at the system.

Go through all the convicts that have been released from the local prison over the last five years, and see if anything sticks.

You've already got guys doing that.

And now I have one more.


"Leyden Industries."

As the new kid in this jurisdiction, I need to bring down a bigger offender than Farrah to prove my merit.

But other than gum girl breaking the laws of chewing, I'm not gonna find any real action in here.

Wait a minute.

Maybe I spoke too soon.


Whoa. It's a stakeout.

See? He's still there.

Who? Cop on a stakeout.

How do you know? Bobby C, if you want to be my deputy, you're gonna have to brush up on your law-enforcement instincts.

I don't want to be your deputy.

I get scared watching cop shows on TV.

Let's check it out. Negative.

If it is a cop, the last thing he wants is you sniffing around.

And if that isn't a cop, then look at him.

That's one creepy-looking dude.

Anyway, I gotta get home. My mom doesn't like me out after dark.

It's 4:00 in the afternoon.

Yeah. Cuttin' it close.

Hi. Hey!

May I be of assistance, Officer?

Move along, little girl, and I would advise you not to approach strangers in cars.

How's your back feeling? Pretty stiff, I'd guess.

And you should really consider upgrading your stakeout nutrition plan.

I mean, fast food is the perfect recipe for constipation.

Listen, kid, I'm not on a stakeout and I'm not a cop, so get out of here before I call the real ones on you.

Give me a break. You're driving a Crown Vic with steelies.

You may as well have a light bar and municipal plates.

Real mature.

Whatcha casing?

Bet it's that building over there.

I pass it every day on my way to school, and I always wondered about it.

I know you can hear me.

It's not like that's bulletproof glass or anything.

Speaking of, are you wearing a vest?

Hard to tell. You may just be a little poochy.

Go get 'em, Officer. Should I keep watch out here?

You should go home!

Tell you what, I'll circle around back.

You take the entrance.

I've got your flank covered.


Move and you're dead! Hands in the air!

How's he supposed to put his hands in the air when I told him not to move?

Well, tell him you take it back.

What are you clowns doing here?

Simmons.

We got a call about a homeless guy kicking in the door.

Do I look like a homeless guy?

"I now have the power." Power.

Who in this town has power?

A power lifter? Maybe a bodybuilder.

MMA guy. Electrician, ranger.

A Power Ranger.

Yes.

Hey, didn't the Captain tell you to work from your desk?

What can I say?

I couldn't resist seeing you two heroes in action.

Hey, little guy.

Say "cheese."

Hey!

Wait.

Before you do whatever you're about to do, let me just say two words.

Look out!

Smart tech.


Now, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Official police business. Nothing to see here.

Weirdo.

You've had quite the day, Detective.

Would you like to tell me what you were doing at that building?

Following a lead.

A lead which you didn't share with anyone else.

And, as it turns out, a lead that's gonna cost you another front door.

I found a bunch of these.

Leyden Industries makes batteries, totally legit.

And it's not a city-owned building like the other Badge Bandit targets.

So, what's the connection?

I would try to find out, but I am sitting here getting scolded in a very small chair.

That's intentional, right, the very small chair?

The Mayor is watching closely how we handle this.

So, I think we need some fresh eyes on this until things calm down.

Until you calm down.

Matthews, O'Leary.

These two? Come on.

I am giving them the lead on this for now, and you can monitor things from your desk.

In case you were gonna kick it down.

Just keeping it warm for you, Detective Simmons.

How do you know my name?

Well, you're not exactly a closed book.

Look, pipsqueak, I don't know who you are or...

Karina Foley, Hall Monitor, Darville Middle School.

Wait, did you actually just say "pipsqueak"?

Whoever you are, please go home and never come here again.

I am in no mood to be bothered.

Big case? Goodbye.

Wait a second.

Are you on the big case?

The Badge Bandit?

The guy who set off stink bombs in all the city buses without a single person spotting him?

Is this the file?

Suit yourself.

Guess I'll just pursue this big lead on my own.

Yeah, good, you do that.

I would break this case wide open.

Right, you betcha.

10-4, Officer.

Over and out.

Okay!

Okay, what's the big lead?

Make yourself at home.

I saw it fly out of the window of that building you were in.

Drones.

That's how he escaped from the library.

He was never there in the first place.

He gets drones to do his dirty work.

But why would he be interested in high-tech batteries?

That's what we gotta find out.

Yeah.

Wait a second.

Where did... How did...

I was recording it.

It pursued me, so I took it out.

You took it out?

After it took a shot at me.

It took a shot at you?

Turns out these things are armed.

Okay, listen, I admit you got a couple of things right out there, but I don't need an overeager kid interfering with my case, you understand?

Yeah.

Do you understand?

Yes.

All right.

It's getting late. I'm driving you home.

And I need to hold onto that, okay? I know.

Come on.

You mind letting me out here?

Just something about getting dropped off by the police.

You mean in my obvious, unmarked squad car?

If the neighbors think I'm a dangerous criminal, I might get scratched off their pool-party invite list.

So, hey...

Keep up the good work monitoring those middle school halls, okay?

Mom, I'm home!

I'll be down in a minute.

Wash up for dinner. And can you feed Lucy?

Yup. I'm on it!

Lucy, dinner!

Lucy?

There you are.

Lucy.

You're lucky you're so darned cute.

So, this mom comes into the ER today with her son, who has lodged M&Ms up his nose...

Plain or peanut?

That's what I said.

Anyway, there's this gaggle of doctors trying to figure out which tweezers to use and whether or not they should sedate the poor kid, because he is screaming hysterically.

So, just as they're about to book the OR, I come running in with my hair dryer, and I melt the chocolate mess right out of his nose in about 30 seconds.

Brilliant, Mom.

Like you always say, "Don't panic. Just work the problem."

You got it, kiddo.

So, what about you?

Anything exciting happen in your world today?

Nah, just an average day of middle school shenanigans.

Right, "average day."

Good night, munchkin.


What happened to this guy?


Every picture tells a story.

There's gotta be something here.

No markings, no serial numbers.

No etchings, no nothing.

Sooner or later, you're gonna make a mistake.

And when you do, I'm gonna be there.

Got you this time.

Car 55 makes its move and wins the Need for Speed Championship.

Still undefeated.

Now, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Press play to race again.

I know that look.

Listen up, K.

My advice is to stay as far away from that cop as possible.

You sound like my mom.

You told her about this? Heck, no.

She has a hard enough time with my hall monitor gig.

Can you imagine what she'd do if she saw this?

Hey!

Whoa! I can't believe you got this on camera.

Camera?

Camera.

While we at City Hall acknowledge that certain alleged criminal shenanigans may be causing some hypothetical unrest, let me just say this.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Rest assured, our police force will restore full order before the weekend.

This is Mayor Marsh looking forward to seeing you at the Harvest Valley Festival.


Quit doing that!

How did you know where to find me?

And why do you look like you just rolled out of a low-budget buddy cop movie?

To answer your first question, common police procedure, called "deductive reasoning."

I saw the coffee cups from this place on your dash and on your desk yesterday.

As for your second question, this is my undercover outfit, so no one suspects I'm on the case.

Yeah, that's pretty inconspicuous.

So, do you normally take valuable evidence out for breakfast?

I'm not exactly on this case right now.

Goin' rogue. Love it!

Do you normally just skip school whenever you want to?

Obscure school holiday today called Saturday.

But us dedicated detectives never take a day off, am I right?

Anyway, I don't get it.

This thing just looks like a kid's toy to me.

Carbon-fiber blades, composite body, maybe some Kevlar.

This is no kid's toy.

How do you know about all that stuff?

How do you not?

I'm a little resistant to technology.

I'm not one to let gadgets take over my life.

Noticed your flip phone.

I think you're safe.

No, I already checked. No slot, no memory card.

Yeah, but most of these cameras have a built-in memory.

A tiny hard drive that might...

A- ha!

This must be the drone's last known flight path.

How did... Killer tech program at my school.

You should meet my science teacher, Miss McKean.

She's crazy smart and actually pretty cute.

If you're looking. I'm not.

So, are you married, dating?

Divorced.

Imagine that.

I don't recognize any of this.

I do.

It's the old industrial district.

Good work, kid. Now, go home.

Get out of the car, kid!

But I found you this lead. Out.


Uber?

Old industrial district.


Come on! What did I say?

And what did I say?

This is my lead.

If I hadn't texted you, you'd be doing whatever it is you do after your greasy, artery-choked breakfast, like...

Shaving, maybe?

Give me that.

How did you even get my phone number?

There's this new invention called the Internet.

It's super-cool, has all kinds of information.

Saw your Boy Scout photo by the way.

You made Tenderfoot.

Do you hear that?

Hold this.

Tired of paying for doors.

Learn that at the Academy?

Boy Scouts.

Now, for the last time, get outta here.


Jackpot.

I thought I told you to get out of here.

Hey, what's the deal?

Someone's watching us.

Think it's the perp?

Don't say "perp." It sounds ridiculous.

I'm gonna go check it out.

Don't move.

Move! Move! Move!

When I do what I'm about to do, you run as fast as you can for that loading dock, okay?

What are you about to do?

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Hey! Hey! Right here! Hey! Over here! Right here!


Detective!

Get out! Now!

Come on, hurry!

Why are you running like that?

Do you always run like that?

The lasers zapped my arms. I can't feel them.

Because if you always ran like that, and I was, like, the first person to tell you it was strange...

Stop talking.

Let me get that for ya.

Yeah.

You better let me drive.

You can't drive, you're eight.

I'm 12.

And you haven't seen me play Need for Speed.

Don't panic.

Work the problem.

What are you doing?

I can't drive, and you can't drive,

but we can drive.

Hit it!

We're in reverse!

What do you expect? I'm 12!

Turn the wheel!


All this from video games?

Yeah. They're pretty realistic these days.

I mean, I'm not saying I could land a fighter jet on an aircraft carrier or anything, but...

You know, I probably could.

They're gaining on us.

Got an idea.

Hard right!

And brakes! Now!

Got 'em.

Well done, kid. I guess.

Did you just smile?

I think you just smiled.


I think the feeling is starting to come back.

Thanks for saving my life back there.

So, you gotta admit, I'm a part of this now.

We're totally partners.

We're not partners.

I'm probably going to need a badge and a gun.

So, back to HQ, right?

Karina.

I'm the adult here, okay?

I'm the one who gets to decide where we go next.

Okay, but you should go left here.

We gotta go back to the station.

Download them on everything that's been happening.

That is exactly what I am going to do.

You, I'm going to leave with your parents, fill them in on what's been going on.

It's just my mom.

My dad died.

He was a cop.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

I was pretty young. I only remember bits and pieces of him.

My mom said he wanted me to have this.

Looks like the one I had when I was in uniform.

I take it with me most of the time.

I mean, it's not like I'd ever use it.

I just like having a part of him close to me.

So, that's why you want to be a cop?

It's in my blood.

Anyway, we should probably turn around and head for the station.

Negative.

Fine. Then I won't share the evidence I picked up back there while you were playing patty-cake with those drones.

What evidence?

I don't have anything.

What? How could you lie to me?

Well, you wouldn't have brought me here otherwise.

That's exactly my... Simmons!

The Captain is a woman? Love that.

I assume there's a good reason why you have brought a child into the middle of our bullpen.

Good reason? Nope, I don't have one of those.

I'm his new partner.

In my office, now.

And bring your new partner with you.

She's not my partner. Yes, she is.

Listen, I'm not supposed to be active on this case, remember?

So, she's gonna be a little edgy.

Don't worry. We made such a big break.

She's gonna love it.

And if all else fails, we'll give her our cute faces.

See?

Okay, now let's see yours.

Any time, Detective.

Well...

Detective Simmons and I are working the Badge Bandit case together.

Is that right? Actually, we're not.

Turns out this perp has been committing the crimes with next-generation, souped-up drones.

Drones?

No forced entry, no fingerprints, able to access tight spaces.

Right.

So, this morning, I followed a lead that turned up a secret manufacturing facility, where I found a dozen of those machines...

I think you meant to say "we."

Actually, I didn't.

Well, go ahead.

Ask him where he got the lead.

What is the most important thing is that I... We.

Might have gotten a glimpse of someone on the scene who could be our suspect, but before I could question him, I...

We got into a gnarly scrape with a bunch of those drones, and Detective Simmons went full-on superhero mode, took a couple laser zaps for me...

And came straight here to fill you in.

You didn't tell her the best part.

I think she's heard plenty. No.

No, sweetie, I'd love to hear more.

I drove.

The squad car?

Yeah. Well, sort of. It was more of a team effort.

So, anyway, the drones were hot on our tail, so we threw some evasive maneuvers at them and lost 'em.

It was totally superb. Right, partner?

Right, well...

I'm gonna get a team out there to check the warehouse.

What about me?

You can't tell me that I haven't earned my way back on this case.

Not only are you not back on this case, you are suspended. What?

This is the third time you have disobeyed a direct order, and you somehow managed to endanger a minor in the process.

Hand them over.

Now, I would like you to escort this fine young lady back to her home, and if I need anything more from you, I'll call the diner.

Cute face.

Matthews, O'Leary!

Gear up! We're gonna go check out that warehouse!

We're so on it! We're so on it!

God.

Maybe we should sneak back out there.

If they squeeze the perp from the warehouse, we'll be there to grab him.

Would you quit saying "perp"?

It's short for "perpetrator."

Anyway, they're not gonna find anything.

This guy's too smart for that. He's long gone by now.

Now, you heard the Captain, young lady. I'm escorting you home.

But first, we need to check on something.

Wait, but you just said you were...

I get it now.

I need you to talk to our tech specialist, Oliver, for me, because I don't speak nerd.

You know, when you're asking for help, you could be a little more... What's the word? Nice.

Hey, so I ran some tests on that battery that you gave me, and the ampere capacity is insane.

Like, how much, 500, 600?

Try 25,000.

Whoa!

Might have to translate. Flip phone.

The idea is that capacity for a cell this size is usually measured in hours.

This one would be measured in days. Or weeks.

All that from a little battery?

Small, but very potent.

Like me.

Even the best consumer drones can only fly for 10, maybe 15 minutes.

A drone with this much power could stay aloft indefinitely without recharging.

With an energy source this size, the speed would be ridonkulous.

Plus, those mini-laser weapons would have the power to melt steel.

This is military-grade stuff.

More range, more power.

Okay, everyone, stand by. Keep a look out.

More damage.

This guy is planning something bigger.

The warehouse is totally clean.

No drones, no humans, no nothing.

You were right, but now what?

He and his drones could be anywhere.

And we have no way to track them.

I have a way to track them.

I hate these things!

What did you mean back there about having ways to track the drones?

I'm about to show you some real police work.

No cameras, no gadgets, no hard drives that make scary whirring noises.

We're going old school.

Cops today rely too much on technology.

It's put a void between the citizens and the police.

Before computers, we had to be out on the streets.

Among the people, taking the pulse of the city.

When it comes down to it, good police work is all about relationships.

What's shakin', Detective?

You know that guy?

Listen up, gentlemen, for the next three minutes, Slim-Mart havin' a "Do Not Ask Where It Come From" sale.

I got all the best. Genuine Gucci, Tory Burch, Coach.

That looks like a hustle.

I bet it's all counterfeit.

Hey, Slim, how's business?

Detective Simmons. My man.

It just me, or the rookies getting younger and younger all the time?

I could use a little information, Slim.

And Slim needs to write seven alimony checks by Saturday.

You like this one?

Absolutely not.

We'll take it.

You know anything about a psycho who likes to play with drones?

Slim know lots of psychos, but what the heck's a drone?

An unmanned, video-piloted quadcopter.

Slim don't know nothin' 'bout that, but Slim will toss some stones into the water, see what ripples.

You're not gonna arrest him? For what?

Peddling counterfeit goods, selling without a permit, referring to himself in the third person?

You gotta pick your battles, kid.

Slim has got connections that the cops don't.

If someone is making souped-up drones, that someone might need guys to help him.

Guys who Slim might associate with.

Slim was definitely shady.

Whatever. I can't accept that.

There's nothing illegal about that bag.

It's totally counterfeit.

Look a little closer.

"Coach" is not spelled with a "K."

Something just isn't sitting right.

It's that disgusting food you eat.

Even my dog, Lucy, would turn her butt to that.

I mean, the Badge Bandit's been running the department in circles for weeks.

He's always one step ahead of us, like he knows what we're gonna do before we do it.

You know what my dad would say?

Sometimes the most obvious answer is the right one.

So, who would know that much about police procedure?

An ex-cop would know exactly how to stage a crime scene.

Interesting theory.

Sure you don't want a bite? Ew!

Processed food can lead to high cholesterol, high blood pressure, chronic grumpiness...

I don't worry about it.

What about your close family and friends?

Don't have any.

I researched you online.

You were a rock-star cop, all kinds of accolades and awards.

What changed?

It was one case.

You've been gone all day. Won't your mother be getting worried?

I texted her to let her know I was okay.

Texting, right.

See? You like it.

I know, you should totally get a phone that doesn't have the word "flip" in it, and we should FaceTime.

"FaceTime"? It's like a video chat where you can talk while looking at each other.

Isn't that what we're doing right now?

It smells terrible.

I'm a cop. What's going on?

They exploded.

Every toilet in the building.

Please. You have to do something, Officer. Please.

No. Gosh.

City Hall.

This guy is getting brash.

Come on.

Karina, you're a good kid with great instincts.

Your dad would be proud.

But things are escalating, and I can't have you getting hurt.

You understand?

Okay.

Almost forgot. Found something of yours.

You found that?

Pretty crafty.

Exactly how much have you shared with your mother about this whole adventure?

Well, just sort of bits and pieces.

You know, just like little nuggets here and there.

You haven't told her anything. No.

I'm going to have to speak with her.

Wait, wait, wait. No. Wait, wait.

Dang it!

Maybe you could say I signed up for a ride-along program.

The Counterfeit Handbag Task Force.

Nothing dangerous. Karina.

Hi, ma'am.

Mom, this is Detective Simmons.

No. What did she do?

Nothing. No, no, no, no, no.

She's not in trouble.

Actually, she's...

She's great.

I'm sorry, I was just on the treadmill.

No, you look really good.

I mean...

Exercise, that's really good.

So, I'm assuming there's a reason my daughter was brought home by a police officer?

Counterfeit Handbag Task Force.

Karina. Karina.

Actually, she came upon an investigation that was just unfolding, and...

Let me guess, she offered assistance?

That she did. He needed it.

Karina.

May I speak with Detective Simmons in private, please?

You and I will have our own chat later.

Thank you.

So, did she tell you about her father?

She did.

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

She's a carbon copy of him.

She's just got it in her mind this is what she wants to do.

I have to say, she has some natural talent.

Just promise me, if she shows up, and she probably will, you'll keep her out of trouble.

I promise.

Simmons. Hi, partner.

Hi, yourself.

I just wanted to say thanks for not mentioning the zapping drones, car chases and all that stuff.

Well, no need to upset your mom more now that you're done with all this, right?

Right, Karina?

Yeah, I promise. Good.

You can still be my unofficial consultant in all of this.

I can keep you posted on any new developments.

Text me the updates.

Right.

Did you just smile?

It sounded like you just smiled.

I'd be able to see it if you had a phone from this century.

Good night, Karina.

I said good night already.

But we have so much to talk about, Detective.

I thought it might be time for me to say hello, since we didn't have a formal introduction at the warehouse.

Nice investigative work, by the way.

You seem to be the only one capable of following the breadcrumbs I've left for your pathetic police force.

Don't you mean our police force, pal?

Such irony. We could have been pals.

I would have liked that very much.

But it looks like our paths are destined to collide in a much different way.

We're onto you.

It's only a matter of time, you know that, don't you?

You're only as close as I'm allowing you to get, Detective.

I could end this game anytime with one click.

Over here!

The Badge Bandit was one of us.

I don't listen to random theories from suspended officers.

He just called me.

This is a wild goose chase.

Everyone who used to be a cop here is either retired, in their 80s, or moved to another state.

Keep digging. All of you, keep digging.

Zero in on the guys who got fired or who left disgruntled.

Anyone with an ax to grind.

Man, I haven't seen so many cops in one place since we put on that talent show at the Academy.

The Academy. What is it, Simmons?

What if it's not an ex-cop, but a wannabe cop?

Somebody who wanted to be on the force but never made it.

That would certainly be grounds for a vendetta.

Matthews, O'Leary, get me a list of all police recruits that did not make the cut in the past 15 years.

We don't keep those files here.

We'd have to access the Academy database.

I really wish you guys would just take the computer classes that I offered.

All right, I'm in.

Hold it. Why is that picture all distorted?

It's like someone messed with the file.

Why would a civilian recruit wear a full uniform for his application pic?

I think that's a Halloween costume.

The name is Wendell Dewey.

Failed his psych eval, antisocial personality disorder.

Can you unblur the picture?

I could try to run some facial recognition software on this, but it's just a beta program.

It could take a while with an image this bad.

I have no clue what you just said, but make it happen.

In the meantime, we need an address. I'm on it.

This all makes sense.

An obsessed wannabe cop out for revenge against the institution that rejected him.

Strong work, Detective.

Yeah, it's a shame I'm not on the case anymore.

I don't even have a badge or a gun.

This goes against every fiber of my being.

But you're the lead on this again.

Thanks, Cap. No, don't thank me.

Thank that nutjob for calling you.

I got an address.

Let's do this! Let's do this!

Let's take this guy down.

One! Wait a second.

Two! Isn't this...

Three!

What the heck is going on here?

Mr. Mayor, sir, there's, been a mistake.

You think so?

Damn!

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, that's not my house, by now you know."

"Tomorrow's chaos is just for show."

"Harvest Fest will be real, though."

"Tomorrow's chaos"?


Give me a "D." "D."

Give me an "E." "E."

Give me an "A."

Wait, how do you spell "defense"?

With the festival just two days away, this is a city in chaos.

I mean, how do you even cover a person in cotton candy?

What will these renegade drones think of next?

Due to the recent dastardly acts besieging our beloved city, I have no choice but to postpone, not cancel, but postpone this year's Harvest Valley Festival, until the responsible party has been brought to justice.

Man, that's all kinds of hoopty.

In no way should this decision be misconstrued as me thinking our police force has been exposed as being utterly incompetent.

We just can't have people thinking that we don't have the faintest idea how to keep our citizens safe.

Nobody's safe!

This whole thing has gotten out of hand.

It's time I get back in the game.

Come on, K. You promised him.

Bobby C, deep down he knows he needs me.

This city needs me.

Sugar? Good God!

Really?

You have to stop doing that.

Do you have a home, or do you actually live in this coffee shop?

We had a deal, remember?

I just thought you might need some backup, partner.

You're not a cop, and you're not my partner.

Karina, we know who this guy is, and any friend of the police force is an enemy of his.

I'm sorry I snapped at you.

I'm just frustrated.

With this case or the old one?

You ever gonna tell me what happened that night?

It doesn't matter.

It matters to me.

Even though you try real hard to pretend you don't care about things, I know you do.

I see it in the way you protect me and in the way you fumbled around in front of my mom.

Whatever happened before doesn't make you who you are today.

Simmons.

Yeah, Slim, what do you got?

Gucci wallets, yeah, put me down for two of them.

You got an address? Hold on.

2575 52nd Street. 2575 52nd Street.

You got a pen?

Yeah, got it, Slim. Thanks.

Slim just got a tip on some heavy drone activity.

Two minutes from here.

Back on the case. You are not back on the case.

What are we waiting for? Let's go bust down some doors and get him.

You're starting to sound like me.

But judges do not write search warrants based on tips from guys named Slim.

So, we might be here for a while.

This is how you properly fuel a stakeout.

That's the good stuff right there.

Kale, spinach, a little turmeric.

What? It's a root.

Really good for constipation.

By the way, you should be having two to three good bowel movements per day.

Preferably S-shaped, and...

Okay, enough.

I know, probably a shock to your system, but a couple of those a day and you'll feel like a new man.

"A new man."

Right.

I once had a partner.

We were pursuing a really bad guy but he got the jump on us and took him hostage.

I had the chance to take the shot,

but I hesitated.

I was afraid I'd shoot my partner by mistake.

I...

I just couldn't pull the trigger.

So, what happened?

The guy got away.

Went on to do some really bad things, and I could've stopped him.

I think my dad would've made the same choice.

You're pretty sharp for a pipsqueak.

I know.

"Stay in the car."

I'm tempted to handcuff you to the wheel.

I'd still find a way.


Freeze! Hands in the air!

That's not good.

Karina, he trusted you to stay in the car.

I'm coming for you, partner!

Seriously?

Move, and I'll slime you.

All right, dirtball, come clean.

I'll handle this.

All right, dirtball, come clean.

Come clean about what?

About the drones, about everything.

Okay, I'm Daniel Woo.

I have a bunch of drones, and I like to fly them.

So, why did you run?

Some scraggly dude breaks into my apartment, pulls a gun on me, what am I supposed to do?

Told you, you should shave.

You assaulted a police officer.

I think you know more than that.

You never identified yourself, so I did what I had to do.

Wait a sec, you think I'm part of all this criminal drone stuff?

Not anymore.

Hey, sorry about kicking your butt. You okay?

Yeah, what are you, some kind of ninja or something?

Right, yeah, just 'cause I'm Asian, I must be a ninja.

That's not what I meant.

That's what it sounded like to me. That's how I took it.

This is Mr. Woo, President of the local drone club, in what is arguably the worst week to be the President of the local drone club.

See if he can give you anything worthwhile, then turn him loose.

Please tell me that's our guy. He's not our guy.

And why are you here?

I apprehended him.

Of course you did. Captain.

Getting another report of drones.

Dozens of them moving through town, right down Main Street.

Oliver!

Can you locate those drones through satellite feeds or traffic cams?

I'm still working on that facial recognition scan.

Just do it.

Stay here.

Look at all of them.

It's like they're being beckoned by some kind of mothership.

The Mayor made the right call postponing the festival.

The festival's postponed?

I was gonna take my mom.

If only we could infiltrate that squadron, it would lead us right to his base of operations.

Yeah, but how do we do that without the drones seeing us?

I have no idea.

I do.

We go undercover as drones.

That's brilliant.

We just need someone who'd offer up a couple of his drones.

Not really in the mood for any favors.

How many do you need?


Perfect match.

Well done, people.

Okay, here's the plan.

We are going to infiltrate the suspect's drone cluster with our decoys, then going to follow them back to his hideout.

Oliver, you'll pilot the decoys.

I don't know about that.

Not everyone's qualified to do actual police stuff.

We need you, Oliver.

You know, Cap,

I think Karina should pilot one of the drones.

She's a whiz at that kind of thing.

I'm not saying she could land a fighter jet on an aircraft carrier or anything.

Actually, she probably could.

That's a good idea.

She'll be safe here, away from any physical danger, and if one of the drones goes down, the other one will finish the job.

Roger that, Cap.

Meanwhile, Detective Simmons will lead a small tactical unit to tail the drones to their landing site.

Banzai!

Let's take this guy down.

I got a pack of 'em, headed west, away from the downtown corridor.

I see them.

Maneuvering the decoys into the pack.

Nice and easy.

We're in.

Copy that. Good work, you two.

Matthews, O'Leary, stay close but not too close.

Don't want those drones spotting us on their tail.

Banzai!

Or mine.

Sorry. Sorry.


Entering some kind of warehouse, and the eagles have landed.

I repeat, the eagles have landed.

I've always wanted to say that.

We are on scene, and we're going radio silent.

Keep your drone cameras rolling for any sign of Dewey.

Copy that.

Let's go.


The mother lode.

The mother lode.

But where's the Bandit?

I don't get it. All this evidence just sitting around.

Well, without his drones, he's done.

Hey, guys, check this out.

It's an order for drone parts.

"I've made my point, so loud and clear."

"It's time for me to disappear."

"The game is over, my rhymes are done."

"If I were you, I'd surely run."

What's that supposed to mean?

It means run!

Let's go! Come on! Move it!

Move it, Matthews!

Move it!

It was a trap!

Detective Simmons! Detective Simmons!

Are you okay? I repeat, are you okay?

Detective Simmons! Detective Simmons, can you hear me?

Everybody is fine.

Can't say the same for the evidence, though.

They're okay.

Thank goodness.

You all right?

Yeah.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go get something from the snack machine.

Do you want anything?

No, thanks. I still got some smoothie left.

I guess Dewey thought we were getting too close, so he decided to pull the plug on his operation and go out with a bang.

Literally.

But what was the point?

Like the poem said, to make us look bad in the eyes of the city.

But in a weird way, all he did was bring out the best in us.

In you.

I mean, like Oliver said, not everyone is qualified to do real police stuff.

Oliver.

No. Karina.

Oops.

Why are you driving so fast?

It was him all along!

It's the same writing.

He's great with computers.

He can fly the heck out of a drone.

He even gave us the Mayor's address when we thought we were going to Dewey's place.

He knew about the plan tonight!

That's why he brought the drones back to their home base, so he could blow them all to smithereens!

Are you saying that Oliver is working with Dewey?

I'm saying that Oliver is Dewey.

I really wish you hadn't found that.

And yes, I know. My "O's" really need some work.

You're the Badge Bandit.

I would've gone with a different name.

I feel like the press really has no imagination.

Karina!

Karina, are you there?

There's nowhere to hide, Karina.

Karina, are you there?

You must think you're pretty smart.

I mean, I'll give you this.

You're smarter than the morons that they let work here.

I had them completely flummoxed by my plan, looking like the fools they are.

How telling that they needed the help of a little girl to get a clue.

Don't you see?

We both wanted to be cops, and everyone dismissed us.

We're not so different, you and me.

I'm nothing like you.

Let her go, Oliver. Or should I say, "Dewey."

Look at you with your badge and your gun, looking all heroic.

See, that's...

That's all I ever wanted, but they turned me down.

They said that I wasn't fit to wear the uniform.

Imagine that?

But why go to all the trouble with drones, pulling all those stupid pranks around the city?

My pranks exposed the truth about you and your fellow officers.

That when push comes to shove, you can't serve or protect a thing!

Take the shot, Detective!

Why now?

Technology takes time to perfect.

Except for facial-recognition software.

That stuff works pretty well already.

Do it! Take the shot!

I trust you!

I can't. I can't take the chance.

Then go old school.

I've always hated those things.

This is what a real police badge looks like.

Take him to the holding cell.

You're done, buddy.

Like a chicken dinner.

Congratulations, Detective.

Couldn't have done it without my partner.

I couldn't agree more.

Well done.

You okay?

I blew it.

What are you talking about?

I was with Oliver all night. I...

I should've known he was Dewey.

What kind of cop am I?

That's just it, Karina.

You're not a cop.

But someday, you're gonna make a great one.

Right now you're a kid, and a pretty great one of those, too.

Mayor just gave us a primo shout-out on the news, then announced the festival is back on.

We are so hitting the hayride!

Something tells me you're not much of a parade guy, right?

Actually, I love parades.


It's about time, Deputy.

I'm not your deputy.

Congratulations!

So, the Badge Bandit is finally behind bars?

Yes, ma'am.

Congratulations, and thank you for keeping her safe.


What are you laughing at?

Picturing all the fun stuff you're missing out there?

I'm not missing a thing.

"Rub-a-dub-dub, your bust was a flub."

"No matter what you believe, you just might cry if you look to the sky"

"to see the last trick I had up my sleeve."

Look, there's a float in the sky.

No, it's a giant drone.

I hate those things.


Karina! I've got her, Sarah! Run!

Okay.

We've got to take this thing down!

I have an idea, but I need you to stay right here.

You should know better than that by now.

I was gonna run for governor.

I still have shoes I've never worn.

Hi, fellas. I need a favor.

Do you think this thing still works?

She'll fire, but only a spark.

We got one shell to make a spark.

Now, the thing that goes boom goes in there and comes out there.

Just make sure to put these in here.

Gunpowder's not going to be enough.

We need to find something to shoot outta this thing.

How about

this?

Karina, are you sure?

Positive.

It's headed for the station!

A little left!

A little more!

It's too heavy. This thing weighs a ton!

Who are you again?

I'm her deputy.

We've gotta take it out now.

Fire!

Direct hit!

No.

Now, that's what I'm talking about!

Yes!

Boo-ya!

Karina!

I am so proud of you.

Just an average day.

Aw.


I learned a lot from my days on the front lines of the police force.

Mostly, I learned that I have plenty of time to become a cop.

Right now, I'm cool with being a kid.

Hey, Karina.

There's a party at my place on Friday. You wanna come?

Okay. Sounds fun.

Cool, and invite your friend, Bobby C.

Will do. Bye.

And really, when it comes down to it, good police work is all about relationships.

Morning, Officer.

I believe this belongs to you.

Way to go, kiddo.

But don't get me wrong, in this day and age, even the most old-school curmudgeons need to make room for a little technology.

"Pretty slow on my watch. You?"

"Hope you're prepared."


All right, kicking down doors is an art, one that is totally underappreciated by today's rookies.

So, we're gonna start with your basic surprise burst-in maneuver.

You line yourself up, you square yourself up to your target, you lock in your core so that you can swivel it to a 45-degree angle, just like...