Corpse Bride (2005) Script



Good morning. Good morning.

Hear ye, hear ye, 10 minutes to go till Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.



Watch it!

[SINGING] It's a beautiful day It's a rather nice day A day for a glorious wedding A rehearsal, my dear To be perfectly clear A rehearsal for a glorious wedding WILLIAM: Assuming nothing happens That we don't really know That nothing unexpected Interferes with the show And that's why everything Every last little thing Every single, tiny, microscopic Little thing must go According to plan Our son will be married According to plan WILLIAM: Our family carried Elevated to the heights of society To the costume balls In the hallowed halls Rubbing elbows with the finest Having crumpets with Her Highness We'll be there, we'll be seen Having tea with the queen We'll forget everything That we've ever, ever been


NELL: Blimey! It's my dress is caught. MAYHEW: Begging your pardon, ma'am.

Come on, dear. NELL: It's not me. It's my dress.

Where is Victor? We might be late.

Fish merchants.


It's a terrible day Now, don't be that way It's a terrible day for a wedding It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in That has led to this ominous wedding How could our family have come to this?

To marry off our daughter To the nouveau riche They're so common So coarse Oh, it couldn't be worse Couldn't be worse? I disagree They could be land-rich, Bankrupt aristocracy Without a penny to their name Just like you and me Oh, dear.

And that's why everything Every last little thing Every single, tiny, microscopic Little thing must go

According to plan Our daughter will wed According to plan Our family led From the depths of deepest poverty To the noble realm Of our ancestry And who would have guessed In a million years That our daughter with a face Of an otter in disgrace Would provide our ticket To a rightful place


Oh, Hildegarde.

What if Victor and I don't like each other?


As if that has anything to do with marriage.

Do you suppose your father and I like each other?

Surely you must a little?

Of course not. Of course not.

Get those corsets laced properly.

I can hear you speak without gasping.



You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.

Now all you have to do is reel her in. I'm already reeling, Mother.

Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?

Oh, nonsense. We're every bit as good as the Everglots.

I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.

But I've never even spoken to her.

Well, at least we have that in our favor.


Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing.


Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat.

You'd think a lifetime watching us...

Might have taught her that Might have taught her that Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect Perfect That's why everything Every last little thing Every single, tiny, microscopic Little thing must go According to plan


Look at the way you're standing.

You look like you got rickets or something...



Oh, my goodness. Oh, such grandeur! Such impeccable taste!

Oh, beautiful, innit? Hmph.

WILLIAM: It's not as big as our place, dear.

Bit shabby really, isn't it? Shut up.

EMIL: Lord and Lady Everglot...

...Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort.

Why, you must be Miss Victoria.

Yes, I must say, you don't look a day over 20. No. Oh, yes.

[QUIETLY] Smile, darling, smile.


Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home.

Oh, thank you.

We'll be taking tea in the west drawing room.

Oh, do come this way, it's just through there.

Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Who is your decorator?

WILLIAM: Nice tiles, shame about the drapes.

NELL: Oh, my husband says such foolish things. Ignore him.

WILLIAM: Oh, yes, it's usually best.






Do forgive me. You play beautifully.

I- I- I do apologize, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to- Well...

Excuse me.

Mother won't let me near the piano.

Music is improper for a young lady.

Too passionate, she says.

If I may ask, Miss Everglot...

...where is your chaperon?

Perhaps, in- In view of the circumstances... could call me Victoria.

Yes, of course. Well...

Victoria... Yes, Victor.

Tomorrow, we are to be m-

M- M-

Married. Yes. Ha. Married.

Since I was a child, I've- I've dreamt of my wedding day.

I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with.

Someone to spend the rest of my life with.

Silly, isn't it? Yes, silly. Ha.

No. No, not at all, no.

Oh! Oh, dear. I'm sorry.

What impropriety is this?

You shouldn't be alone together.

Here it is, one minute before 5, and you're not at the rehearsal.

Pastor Galswells is waiting. Come at once.

MAN: Master Van Dort, from the beginning. Again.

"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.

With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.

With this ring, I ask you to be mine. "

Let's try it again. Yes. Yes, sir.

With this candle...

This candle...

This candle.

NELL: Shall I get up there and do it for him?

WILLIAM: Don't get all aflutter, dear.


With this candle...


GALSWELLS: Continue!


Get the door, Emil.

Let's just pick it up at the candle bit.

A Lord Barkis, sir.

I haven't a head for dates.

Apparently, I'm a day early for the ceremony.

Is he from your side of the family? I can't recall.

Emil, a seat for Lord Barkis.

Do carry on.

Let's try it again, shall we, Master Van Dort?

Yes. Yes, sir. Certainly. Right.

Right. Oh, right!

With this... This- Hand.

With this hand...

...I- With-

Three steps, three!

Can you not count? Do you not wish to be married, Master Van Dort?

No! No. You do not?

No! I meant, no, I do not not wish to be married.

That is, I want very much to- Ow!

Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?

The ring? Yes. Of course.


Dropping the ring.

MAUDELINE: Oh, no, he's dropped the ring!

This boy doesn't want to get married. MAUDELINE: How disgraceful!

Excuse me. Got it!


Out of the way, you ninny.

WILLIAM: Oh, dear! Oh, my! Giddy on, a woman on fire! Help! Emergency!

Oh, I hope it doesn't stain. Stop fanning it, you fool.


Get a bucket, get a bucket. I'm on my way, dear. Yes. Oh, dear!

Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared.

Young man, learn your vows.


Well, he's quite the catch, isn't he?


Oh, Victoria.

She must think I'm such a fool. This day couldn't get any worse.

TOWN CRIER [IN DISTANCE]: Hear ye, hear ye!

Rehearsal in ruins as Van Dort boy causes chaos!

Fishy fiancé could be canned!

Everglots all fired up as Van Dort disaster ruins rehearsal!


It really shouldn't be all that difficult.

It's just a few simple vows.

With this hand, I will take your wine.


With this hand...

...I will cup your-

Oh, goodness, no.

With this...

With this candle, I will...

I will...

I will set your mother on fire.

Oh, it's no use.


With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.

Ah, Mrs. Everglot.

You look ravishing this evening.

What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "Dad"? If you insist, sir.

With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.

With this ring...

...I ask you to be mine.






I do.









You may kiss the bride.

A new arrival. He must've fainted.

Are you all right? What-? What happened?

By Jove, man. Looks like we've got ourselves a breather.

Does he have a dead brother? He's still soft.


A toast, then.

To the newlyweds.


Oh, in the woods, you said your vows so perfectly.

VICTOR: I did?

I did.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

MAN: Bonjour!

Coming through, coming through.

My name is Paul, I am the head waiter.


I will be creating your wedding feast.

Wedding feast! I'm salivating.

[CHUCKLING] Maggots.

Oh! Hey!

Keep away!

I've got a- I've got a dwarf.

And I'm not afraid to use him. I want some questions. Now.

Answers. I think you mean "answers. " Thank you, yes, answers.

I need answers. What's going on here? Where am I?

Who are you?

Well, that's kind of a long story.

MALE VOICE: What a story it is.

A tragic tale of romance, passion...

...and murder most foul.

This is gonna be good. Oh!

Hit it, boys.


Hey, give me a listen You corpses of cheer At least those of you Who still got an ear I'll tell you a story Make a skeleton cry Of our own jubiliciously Lovely Corpse Bride SKELETONS: Die, die, we all pass away But don't wear a frown Because it's really okay You might try and hide And you might try and pray But we all end up The remains of the day BONEJANGLES: That's right.

Well, our girl was a beauty Known for miles around When a mysterious stranger Came into town He was plenty good-looking But down on his cash And our poor little baby She fell hard and fast When her daddy said no She just couldn't cope So our lovers came up With a plan to elope Die, die, we all pass away But don't wear a frown Because it's really okay You might try and hide And you might try and pray But we all end up The remains of the day Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah


That's right.

Ah, okay. Oh, yeah. Come on, boys, pick it up.

Yeah. Like it.

Okay, Chancy, take it.

Yeah. Whoo! Yeah!



That's nice.

So they conjured up a plan To meet late at night They told not a soul Kept the whole thing tight Now, her mother's wedding dress Fit like a glove You don't need much When you're really in love Except for a few things Or so I'm told Like the family jewels And a satchel of gold Then next to the graveyard By the old oak tree On a dark, foggy night At a quarter to 3 She was ready to go But where was he?

And then?

She waited And then?

There in the shadows, was it her man? And then?

Her little heart beat so loud And then?

And then, baby, everything went black Now, when she opened her eyes She was dead as dust Her jewels were missing And her heart was bust So she made a vow Lying under that tree That she'd wait for her true love To come set her free Always waiting for someone To ask for her hand Then out of the blue Comes this groovy young man Who vows forever To be by her side And that's the story Of our Corpse Bride Die, die, we all pass away But don't wear a frown, Because it's really okay You might try and hide And you might try and pray But we all end up The remains of the day Yeah.



MAUDELINE: Victoria, come away from the window.

NELL: Oh, I'm sure he'll be back shortly.

He's terrified of the dark. In fact, when he was a boy...

...he used to wet his combinations regularly, didn't he, William?



Ah, Lord Barkis. I trust the room is to your liking.

Thank you, you are a most gracious hostess.

Which is why it pains me to be the bearer of such bad news.

Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us?

[SHOUTING] Hear ye, hear ye!

Victor Van Dort seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery woman!

The dark-haired temptress and Master Van Dort slipped away into the night!

[IN REGULAR VOICE] And now the weather. Scattered showers-

Enough! That will be all.

Mystery woman? He doesn't even know any women.

Or so you thought.

Do call for me if you need my assistance... any way.

Good heavens, Finis, what should we do?

Fetch me musket.

William, do something.

The town crier probably just had a slow news day.

You know how it is, you need a little something to cry about.

Regardless, we are one groom short for the wedding tomorrow.

Not to mention the financial implications.

A most scandalous embarrassment for us all.

Oh, give us a chance to find him, we beg of you.

Just give us until dawn. Very well. Till dawn.

Victor, darling, where are you?

MAGGOT: If you ask me, your boyfriend is kind of jumpy.

He's not my boyfriend, he's my husband.

Victor, where have you gone?

I'll keep an eye out for him.


There he goes, there he goes! He's- He's getting away!

Quick, quick, after him!


Thank you.


Where are you?


Where have you gone?

Married, huh? I'm a widow.

Oh, how rude. He went that way!


Victor, darling.

Please. There's been a mistake. I'm not dead.


Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Thank you. Thank you.


Dead end. Victor!


Could have used the stairs, silly.

Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away.

Well, it would if I had any.

Isn't it romantic?

Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you...

...and I'd like to help, but I really need to get home.

This is your home now. But I don't even know your name.

MAGGOT: Well, that's a great way to start a marriage.

Shut up!

It's Emily. Emily.

Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you.

[WHISPERS] It's a wedding present.



Thank you.




My dog, Scraps!


Oh, Scraps, what a good boy.

EMILY: I knew you'd be happy to see him.

VICTOR: Who's my good boy? Sit. Sit, Scraps, sit.

Good boy, Scraps. Roll over. Roll over.

Good boy, Scraps. Play dead.



Oh, what a cutie.

You should have seen him with fur.

Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this.

But then again, she never approved of anything.

Do you think she would have approved of me?

You're lucky you'll never have to meet her.

Well, actually... that you mention it, I think you should.

In fact, since we're, you know...

...married, you should definitely meet her.

And my father too. We should go and see them right now.

What a fantastic idea! Where are they buried?


What? What is it? They're not from around here.

Where are they?

Oh, they're still alive.

I'm afraid so. Well, that is a problem.

What's that, Scraps?

Oh, no, we couldn't possibly.

Oh, well, if you put it like that. What?

Elder Gutknecht.



[WHISPERS] Shh, Scraps.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Elder Gutknecht...

...are you there?

Hello? Is anyone home?






EMILY: There you are!

Oh, my dear. There you are.

I've brought my husband, Victor.

What's that? Husband?

Pleasure to meet you, sir.

We need to go up. Upstairs? To visit the land of the living.

Land of the living?

Oh, my dear.

Please, Elder Gutknecht.

Now, why go up there, when people are dying to get down here?

Sir, I beg you to help. It means so much to me-

Us. I don't know, it's just not natural.

EMILY: Please, Elder Gutknecht.

Surely there must be something you can do.


Let me see what I can do.

Where did I put that book?


I left it here somewhere.


Ah, there's the one.


I have it.

A Ukrainian haunting spell. Just the thing for these quick trips.

[WHISPERS] So glad you thought of this.

Me too.




Now, then...


...where were we?

The Ukrainian haunting spell? GUTKNECHT: Aha.



Ah, here we have it. Ready?

Just remember, when you want to come back, say "Hopscotch. "

Hopscotch? That's it.



I spent so long in the darkness...

...I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is.







Psst. Hey, I think you dropped something.




Hold on, hold on.

I think I should prepare Mother and Father for the big news.

I'll go ahead and you...

...wait here.

Perfect. I won't be long.

Stay right here. I'll be right back.


No peeking.




FINIS: If ever I see that Van Dort boy...

...I'll strangle him with my bare hands.

Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin.

You'll have to use a rope.





MAGGOT: This is the voice of your conscience. Listen to what I say.

I have a bad feeling about that boy. You know he is no-

EMILY: Go chew someone else's ear for a while.

Victor has gone to see his parents, just like he said.

If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you had lost your mind.

I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason for taking so long.

I am sure he does. Why don't you go ask him?

All right, I will.

After all, he couldn't get far with those cold feet.





Victoria. Victor? I'm so happy to see you.

Come by the fire. Where have you been? Are you all right?

I- I-

Oh, dear.

You're as cold as death. What's happened to you?

Your coat.

Victoria, I confess.

This morning I was terrified of marriage.

But then, on meeting you, I felt I should be with you always...

...and that our wedding could not come soon enough.


Victor, I feel the same.


Victoria, I se- I se-

I seem to find myself married.

And you should know it's unexpected.


My darling, I just wanted to meet-


Darling? Who's this?

Who is she? I'm his wife.

Victor? Victoria, wait. You don't understand.

She's dead. Look.


No! No! Victoria!

You lied to me!

Just to get back to that other woman.

Don't you understand? You're the other woman.

No! You're married to me. She's the other woman.



She's got a point.

And I thought... I thought this was all going so well.

Look, I'm sorry, but...

...this just can't work.

Why not?

It's my eye, isn't it?

No. Your eye is...


Listen, under different circumstances, well, who knows?

But we're just too different. I mean, you're dead.

You should've thought about that before you asked me to marry you.

Why can't you understand? It was a mistake. I would never marry you.


Roses for eternal love.

Lilies for sweetness.


Baby's breath.


Why so blue?

Maybe he's right. Maybe we are too different.

MAGGOT: Maybe he should have his head examined.

I could do it.

Or perhaps he does belong with her. Little Miss Living.

With her rosy cheeks and beating heart.

Oh, those girls are 10 a penny. You've got so much more.

You've got- You've got-

You've got a wonderful personality.

What does that wispy little brat have That you don't have double?

She can't hold a candle To the beauty of your smile How about a pulse?

Overrated by a mile Overvalued Overblown If he only knew The you that we know And that silly little creature Isn't wearing his ring And she doesn't play piano Or dance, or sing No, she doesn't compare But she still breathes air Who cares?

Unimportant Overrated Overblown If only he could see How special you can be If he only knew The you that we know

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain If you cut me with a knife It's still the same And I know her heart is beating And I know that I am dead Yet the pain here that I feel Try and tell me it's not real And it seems that I still have A tear to shed

The sole redeeming feature From that little creature Is that she's alive Overrated Overblown Everybody knows That's just a temporary state Which is cured very quickly When we meet our fate Who cares? Unimportant Overrated Overblown If only he could see How special you can be If he only knew The you that we know

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain In the ice or in the sun It's all the same Yet I feel my heart is aching Though it doesn't beat, it's breaking And the pain here that I feel Try and tell me it's not real I know that I am dead Yet it seems that I still have Some tears to shed



VICTORIA: It's true, Mother!

Victor is married to a dead woman.

I saw her. A corpse! Standing right here with Victor.

Victor was in your room?

I have to help him.

The scandal!

Come sit in your chair, dearie. You're shaking like a leaf.

Let Hilde fetch you a blanket.

Fetch her a straitjacket! She's completely mad!

Come, Hildegarde.






MAUDELINE: Finis, come to bed at once.




What in heaven's name?

Who could that be at this hour?

Miss Everglot.

What are you doing here? You should be at home, prostrate with grief.

Pastor Galswells, I have to ask you something.

This is most irregular. Please, I beg of you.

You are the only one in the village who knows of what awaits beyond the grave.

A grim topic for a bride-to-be.

It is a bride I fear, which is why I must know:

Can the living marry the dead?

What on earth are you speaking about?

Please, it's Victor. He's married to a corpse.

He has a corpse bride!

There must be some way to undo what's been done.


I believe I know the thing to do.

Come with me.

Victoria? Where are your corsets?

She's speaking in tongues. Of unholy alliances.

Her mind has come undone, I fear.

It's not true! Let me go! Let me go!

Thank you, Pastor Galswells. Thank you so very much.

Take her to her room!

No, I'm telling the truth.

Victor needs my help.

Hildegarde, you believe me, don't you?

Mother, Father, please. Seal the doors...

...and bar the windows. See to it that she doesn't escape again.

VICTORIA: He needs our help! Oh, let me go! Let me go!

Will the mortification never cease?

It will be years before we can show ourselves in public again.

What shall we do?

We shall continue as planned, with or without Vincent.

Victor. Whatever.

For that boy to toss aside a young woman like Victoria...'s positively criminal.

Why, if I had a woman like your daughter on my arm...

...I would lavish her with riches befitting royalty.

Your lady wife is a most fortunate woman.

Alas, I am not married.

I was betrothed some years ago...

...but tragedy snatched my young bride away.

When one lives alone, wealth counts for naught.


Marvelous news, Victoria, there'll be a wedding after all.

You found him?

Make haste, my dear, our relatives will arrive at any moment.

We must have you looking presentable for Lord Barkis.


Lord Barkis?

He will make a fine husband.

Aye. A fortuitous turn of events indeed.

A far better prospect this time.

But I do not love him. You cannot make me do this.

We must. Please, I beg of you.

There must be another way.

Without your marriage to Lord Barkis...

...we shall be forced, penniless, into the street.

We are destitute.

But Victor...

Victor Van Dort has gone, child.

You shall marry Lord Barkis tomorrow.

According to plan. According to plan.


Oh, my dear. Oh, don't look at me that way.

You have only to suffer this union until death do us part.

And that will come sooner than you think.

NELL: Oh, it's almost dawn! Where could he be?

Victor Van Dort elopes with corpse!

Heartbroken bride to wed wealthy newcomer!

Wealthy newcomer? It cannot be.

Did he say corpse?

Oh, don't be ridiculous. What corpse would marry our Victor?


Oh, Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing.




NELL: Mayhew, are you trying to kill us?

I think he's trying to kill us.




...think you dropped this.


I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I lied to you about wanting to see my parents.

It's just this whole day hasn't gone quite, well...

...according to plan.


Pardon my enthusiasm.

I like your enthusiasm.


New arrival! New arrival! Lights up!

Hurry up, boys! Vite, vite.

Bonjour! Bienvenue!

Drinks for everyone.

Another pint, sir?

No, no. Just a half. No, no. Just a half.



It is impossible to get good help anymore.

Welcoming committee, coming through! Coming through!

My name's Plum. Miss Plum. Mayhew?

Mayhew! How nice to see-


I'm so sorry.

Oh, yeah. Actually, though, I feel great.


Hurry up, boys. Can you not see the gentleman is parched?

VICTOR: Mayhew, I have to get back.

They all must be worried sick. How is everyone?

Well, they're still wondering where you slipped off to.

Oh, and Miss Victoria...

Yes? Yes, how is she?

Well, she's getting married this evening.

What? Married to who?

Some newcomer, Lord Somebody-or-Other.

But that's impossible!

Yeah, with you gone and all...

I guess they didn't wanna waste the cake.



But how could she?

[DRUNKENLY] Women, you can't live with them.

You can't live with- Hiccup!


Time to pick up the pieces and- You know, and move on, I suppose.

Speaking of picking up the pieces?

Victor? Where are you going?

Miss Victoria, we must leave for the church now.

Yesterday I thought my wedding would be happy.

Now I feel like I'm caught in the tide, pulled out to sea.

The sea leads to many places, dearie.

Maybe you'll land somewhere better.

With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.


With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Oh, oh, dear.




I'm too late.

EMILY: Oh, Mrs. Plum, what am I to do?

He just walked off without saying a word. Are all men like this?

Well, I'm afraid none of them are very bright.

They get something stuck in their heads...

...and you can't do a thing with them.

My dear, we have to talk.

Let me tell her, please. Let me tell her.

Heh, heh, heh. What?

There is a complication with your marriage.

I don't understand.

The vows are binding only until death do you part.

What are you saying?

Death has already parted you.


If he finds out, he'll leave.

There must be something you can do.

Well, there is one way.

Oh, please, please, let me tell her.

It requires the greatest sacrifice.

Go on, get to the good part. What is it?

We have to kill him! What?

Victor would have to give up the life he had forever.

He would need to repeat his vows in the land of the living...

...and drink from the wine of ages.


This would stop his heart forever.

Only then would he be free to give it to you.

I could never ask him.

VICTOR: You don't have to.

I'll do it.

My boy, if you choose this path... may never return to the world above.

Do you understand?

I do.

Gather round. Gather round, everybody.

We've decided to do this thing properly.

So grab what you can and follow us.

We're moving this wedding party upstairs.

Upstairs? I didn't know we had an upstairs.

Sounds creepy. Let's go!

A wedding, a wedding We're going to have a wedding

Hold on, Victor.

You can't get married looking like that.

The spiders think you're very cute But goodness knows you need a suit But have no fears, we're quite adept We'll have you looking lovely, lovely Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely yet A little stitch, a little tuck Some tender loving care A little thread will fix you up And we've got plenty as you see And personally guarantee Our quality repairs A little here, I'll fix the mess We're going to do our very best When everybody sees you They will all be quite impressed They will all be quite impressed A wedding, we're going to have A wedding cake is no mistake It must be quite sublime We're missing something Try some dust I wish I had more time Perhaps there's something I can do These bones might help a bit Oh, my nose. Sorry.

Wait a minute, that's it A little of that A little of this The perfect cake is hard to miss A wedding, a wedding We're going to have A wedding Huzzah, huzzah We're going to have a wedding A wedding Let's all give out a cheer 'cause The bride is getting married today SKELETONS: Hurray!

One thing you can surely say Is we will stand beside Until the end we will defend Our one and only bride Our bride-to-be, our bride-to-be Our lovely Corpse Bride Huzzah! Hooray! Huzzah! Hooray!

Our bride is getting married today Oh, there she is. Here she comes.

Oh, oh, the bride is here She's waited for this day For many a year For this day, for this day Our hopes and our pride The bride is here Here comes the bride Here comes the bride Here comes the bride For this day, for this day Will last forever And all of her friends Will work together To make it the perfect day She's always dreamed Our hopes and our pride Our bride, our lovely bride We're going to have a party Like nobody's ever seen The living in the land above Will not know where they've been The land above The party of the bride Here comes the bride On this glorious day of days Up to the land of the living To celebrate

Oh, dear.


Quiet down now, everyone.


Thank you.

Elegant, cultured, radiant.

Victoria has found a husband...

...with all these qualities and more.

Serendipity brought us together...

...and no force on earth could tear us apart.




There's an eye in me soup.


Ooooh! Oh! Oh!



Oh, sorry.



Fetch me musket!

Fetch your own musket. I'm off!

Coming through. Coming through.



Excuse me, you don't know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.

Hey, hold on there.

I love a woman with meat on her bones. Heh, heh, heh.

Finis, who invited these people?

They must be from your side of the family.

Certainly not.

Why, if my Grandfather Everglot could see this, he'd be turning in his grave.


Where do you keep the spirits?


In other news...

[SHOUTING] ... the dead walk the earth!


Get back! Don't try and sneak up on me!

Get back!

I'll give you such a wallop.







PEOPLE: Aww...


Bounder! Sweetie pie.

Monster. Buttercup.

Cad! Gertrude!



You've been dead for 15 years.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.


Wait. That's it.

We're going to take whatever money we can and get out of here.

Money? What money?

Your dowry. It's my right!

But my parents don't have any money.

It's my marriage to you that will save them from the poorhouse.

Th- The poorhouse?

You're lying. It isn't true. Tell me that you're lying!

Did things not go according to your plan, Lord Barkis?

Well, perhaps in disappointment we are perfectly matched.



GALSWELLS: Be gone, ye demons from hell!

Back to the void from whence you came!

You shall not enter here.

Back, back!

Keep it down, we're in a church.



Dearly beloved and departed...

...we are gathered here today to join this man and this corpse in marriage.


Victor? Shh!

Living first.

With this hand...

...I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty...

...for I will be your wine.

Now you.

With this hand...

...I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty.

For I will be...

I will be...

Go on, my dear.

Your cup...

...will never empty...

...for I will be...

I will be your wine.

She's having second thoughts.

I can't.

What's wrong?

This is wrong.

I was a bride.

My dreams were taken from me.

Well, now...

Now I've stolen them from someone else.

I love you, Victor.

But you're not mine.



BARKIS: Oh, how touching.

I always cry at weddings.

Our young lovers together at last.

Surely now they can live happily ever after.

But you forget...

...she's still my wife!

I'll not leave here empty-handed!




But- But- I left you.

[WHISPERS] For dead.


BARKIS: This woman is obviously delusional!


Sorry to cut things short, but we must be on our way.

Take your hands off her.

Do I have to kill you too?


BARKIS: Aargh!

Victor, catch!



Ah, sacrebleu!

I say, you're not playing fair, sir.




Touché, my dear.

Get out.

Oh, I'm leaving.


But first a toast. To Emily.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Tell me, my dear...

...can a heart still break once it's stopped beating? Hm?


Let me at him! Let me at him!

No, don't hold me back. Wait.

We must abide by their rules.

We are amongst the living.

Well said.




Not anymore.

Yep, you're right. He's all yours.



New arrival.

Oh, Victor, I never thought I'd see you again.


I made a promise.

You kept your promise.

You set me free.

Now I can do the same for you.





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