Criminal (2004) Script

Would you bring me a Coke please?

Of course. Only a Coke? No, with ice.

Here's your drink.

Thank you.

I don't have change.

Don't tell me. Don't you have something smaller?

No, that's all I have.

Well, what am I going to do then?

You're going to leave me broke. Take it.

You're leaving me broke here.

So quickly?

Thank you very much.

Wait, wait. I have change from the taxi.

If it's no trouble, maybe it would be better... I'll give you this.

$50, no?...

$50 and the $50 that I already gave you, that's $ 100.

So if you give me $ 100, we'll be even.

I give $ 100 to you?

The $ 100 bill for the change.

Okay. Take it.


What kind?

Lights.


What the fuck are you trying to pull?

I just need security here.

Security. I need security.

I already give you your change. What the fuck are you trying to pull?

You're trying to rip me off. Excuse me. Excuse me.

I'm a police officer. What's the problem?

He's trying to rip me off.

Sorry, I was trying to buy cigarettes... Be quiet.

I'll get to you in a minute.

Now, ma'am, what is your name? Dolores.

Hey, L.A.P.D. Vice. I got this. Okay?

Okay, Dolores. Calm down and tell me exactly what happened.

He asked me for cigarettes. He gave me a $50.

Now he says he gave me $ 100. He's trying to rip me off.

Okay. Is that true? No. It's not true.

I was just buying cigarettes. Then she start to shout.

I don't know what's going on. You know what?

This seems a little familiar.

Maybe we should talk to the waitress you bought the Coke from.

Should we do that?

Officer, would you mind asking that waitress to come over?

Now, what is your name?

What's your name?

Get over here.

Don't make it hard.

Just relax.

Calm down. Slow down.

All right. What's your problem?

You been doing some drugs? You high today?

9:30 in the morning, and you're high.

Dolores, you okay? Fine.

All right. You stay right here. I'm gonna need a statement from you. Let's go.

Keep her there, okay? I'll be right back.

Right here.

Stand against the car.

What's going on? Just relax.

All right. Get in.

I'm not a cop. Get in. I'll drop you off.

No tricks, all right? You wanna learn what you were trying to do?

I never thought about it. Well, you ought to start.

You know what? I'm okay. You don't know what you don't know.

Unless it was part of your plan to get pinched and beaten for $45.

Listen, they got security cameras on us now. You want a ride or not?

Okay.

So you know what I do, right?

I usually work with another guy. My partner, a Jew.

Disappeared a week ago, and no idea where he is, so...

...I gotta find a new partner.

Why me?

I can't do what I do alone.

You can only go so far by yourself.

You can survive, but if you want more than that...

...you gotta work with someone. And I got a lifestyle to support.

Look, I don't wanna be your friend, okay?

I'll tell you that right off the bat. This is work.

So if I ask you personal questions...

...it's because the more I know, the more I can develop your role.

You understand? Yeah.

You speak good English? Yeah. Pretty good.

All right, so, what's your name?

Rodrigo. What?

Rodrigo. No.

No, we gotta Anglo you up a little.

Brian. Brian?

Yeah, Brian.

What's your name? Richard.

Richard Gaddis.

This it up here? Yeah.

Here.

Nice color.

Yeah.

So how about this.

You give me a couple hours...

...I show you some basics, get you warmed up.

If it works out, we'll kick it up a notch.

You hate it, you walk.

I hate you, you walk. Nobody gets hurt.

Okay. Yeah?

Yeah. All right.

Look. It's my experience people are more likely to give money...

...to someone who looks like they already have money. Okay?

I walk up to you all decked out, standing in front of this car...

...I got some kind of emergency.

You know, under normal circumstances, I don't need anybody's help, right?

And then there's you showing up with the same story.

Who you think they'll give their money to?

In my neighborhood, you'd be dead.

Yeah. Well, that's why we're not working your neighborhood.

Ever been to Westwood? No.

Hello?

Hello?

- Hello? Hello? Debbie?

Sorry.

- Who is this? Sorry. Wrong apartment.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

- Grandma? Yes?

Who is it?

What, you don't recognize your favorite grandson?

- Nicholas? How are you?

Well, I can't believe it. It's been so long.

- When did you get to town? Oh, I got in last night.

Are you all right? I hardly recognized your voice.

I know, I'm... I just got over something.

- But I'm not contagious, don't worry. You came to visit me?

You'll be mad. I'm with a friend. We were visiting somebody nearby...

...and my rental car broke down.

- The rental car? Yeah.

It's one of those Cooper MINIs. Seen those?

- A what? It's no bigger than your toaster.

It's so cute, you'll love it. Guess what color it is. Guess.

- Turquoise? No. I wanted turquoise.

They gave me a blue one. Cobalt, they call it.

Anyway, the guy is coming to tow the car back to the rental place...

...and I don't have any money to give him. I left my wallet at the hotel.

How could you go out without your wallet?

I know. You know me, so stupid.

I am so sorry. This is so embarrassing.

But if you have just $ 100, it would be a huge help.

I'll go back to the hotel, switch the car and come back with the money.

It'll take 15 minutes.

Okay?

Are you there?

If Jerald ever found out about this, he would absolutely flip.

I don't think we should tell Jerald.

Can't you come up for a minute?

I can't. I have to wait with the car.

But I'm with my friend. If you could give him the money...

His name is Brian. He's really nice. He's Spanish.

- Oh, okay. Mexican.

- I'm coming down. Okay.

It's okay to leave it with your friend?

Oh, yeah. He's real nice. He's a friend from school.

Grandma, the tow truck is coming. I gotta go. I have to go.

Hey.

She gave me 200. Sweet.

And she said you should give this back to your mother.

Why don't you keep it? Got a girlfriend? Give it to her.

No. I told you, I'm not, like, a professional crook.

Whatever. You want the ring? No, it's not that.

What is it? You know...

You know, the old lady, man.

Oh, I see. Waitress in a casino, fine.

Trusting old lady, never.

Come on.

She told me I look like her nephew, the one who died of blood poisoning.

Are we still talking about this? Yeah.

I don't know, man. It was weird, that's all.

So why don't you just go back and confess.

I don't feel anything for them, okay?

They're marks.

And some of them are dumber than fucking pets.

You ever been to Beverly Hills? No.

It's a great place to work.

All right. So...

...go in here, order a soy latte to go.

Okay.

Pay with this.

Then come find me. All right? Cool.

I need money. Yeah, join the club.

No, but I need a lot of money. I need a lot of money now.

How much? A lot.

How much? Seventy.

Seventeen? No, 70. 7-0.

For what?

For my old man. He owes it.

Gambling? Yeah.

How much do you have?

Thirty-eight.

Who does he owe it to? This guy. This Russian guy.

If I were you, I'd get a new old man.

I gotta do something. They might kill him.

They probably will. Which is why you should stay out of it, okay?

Look, I don't wanna hurt anybody.

I'm not a violent person. I've never even seen a gun go off.

That stuff at the casino was choreography.

I was totally in control of that.

Don't get involved with these people. I'm telling you.

It's my dad.

I gotta do something.

Personally, I don't get the family thing. It's like a big fucking circle, you know?

You're like your dad, and he was like his dad...

I fought with my mother, so now I fight with my sister.

It's boring.

You know what the biggest jerk-off of all is?

Beyond family even, because you can't control your family, is jobs.

I mean, this totally mystifies me.

Can you believe people actually accept this?

It's like you work all day, people tell you what to do all day long.

You know, and then on top of taking shit all day, they can fire you.

Well, what did your father do? He was an astronaut.

Take off.

What? Take off. Say goodbye.

Oh, okay. I can't believe I ran into you.

Good to see you. I'm in a hurry. Gotta go.

Have a good one. See you.

Excuse me. Could I get my change, please?

What change, sir?

The change for the hundred.

What hundred?

I paid you 10 minutes ago with a $ 100 bill.

Sir, you didn't pay me.

Excuse me, Daniel, maybe you got too many tables or something.

I asked if you could break 100, you said yes.

Sir, you're mistaken. We're past the "sir" stage.

I need to see the manager. Sir...

I don't wanna talk to you anymore. You understand?

I wanna talk to the manager and get my change.

You didn't pay, so don't shout. I don't wanna shout, but I'm late.

Now, I wanna see the manager. Get your boss. Don't be stupid.

Is there a problem? Yes, this gentleman says he paid.

No, I did pay you. There seems to be confusion.

No, no confusion. I had a cup of coffee.

I had two $ 100 bills, and now I have one.

Oh, here. The corner's missing.

So it must be missing the corner.

Can you check for a bill with a corner missing?

Sir... I'm not going anywhere.

Get my change. I have to get out of here.

I knew that trick.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Did you ever try it? No.

Why not?

It's too loud.

What? You know...

...you have to make a whole scene.

That's the point.

They're not interested in making a scene.

That's the key, okay?

The more offended you are, the less suspicious.

If things get sticky, you blame everybody else.

Have you been paying attention? Yeah.

I just think it's too emotional, that's all.

This is private.

Hey.

So listen, I've been thinking about it. Go ahead and file it.

Yeah.

I gotta go.

I got somebody here. I gotta go. Bye.

Who was that?

My lawyer.

Hey, so... So, what's next?

I don't know.

Maybe we should go our own ways.

The Jew is gonna come back soon. He finds out I replaced him, he'll be pissed.

The Jew gets jealous. No, wait.

Tell me. What is it? You're not into it.

You're distracted or something. Maybe this shit with your father, I don't know.

You'll fuck something up.

What could I fuck up?

You think too much.

I think too much? But why is that bad?

You see what I'm saying? Tell me, why?

You'll hesitate. Okay? You'll blow a frame.

I can't risk that. That'll be three for me. Three.

Look, I need the money.

I can't make what I need on my own. Yeah, well, too bad.

It's not about memorization.

This is a choice, okay? You're not ready.

You think it's something to do for now. It's not some summer job, okay?

You can get the Wilshire bus down here.

Can you get that purse in less than two minutes?

What purse? That one.

She has to voluntarily hand me her purse?

In two minutes.

No. I can.

No, you can't. I bet you the ring.

Right?


Please. Thank you.

Which floor? Four. Thank you.

Sir? Ten, please.

Oh, God. Oh, brother. Goddamn it.

Is it an earthquake? No. Don't worry. Don't worry.

Everything is okay. I can't stay calm. I'm claustrophobic.

I'm really not good at this. This is not good.

Please, please do something. Just relax.

Let's call somebody.

I'm doing it, but it will take more than 20 minutes.

I'm sure. I'm really not good at this.

What are you doing? Don't open the door.

It's easy. Calm down and wait for the authorities.

No, that takes... You push the call?

I did. You're being impatient.

No, listen, this is how people get hurt. Don't open the door.

Wait, did you push the call? Yes, he did.

This won't take more than two minutes.

I'm not going out there. This was easy. Okay.

Let's just stay here. Let's you and I stay here.

I'm not gonna wait. You can use the stairs. I'll help.

What do you mean? That way? I'll hold your purse.

I'll hold your purse.

Okay. There you go.

What do I do? It is an easy jump. Come on.

All right, all right. Can you help her, sir?

Yeah. Yeah, here. Let me...

Come on. Come on. It's gonna be easy.

That stuff in the elevator, you made that up?

That was good.

You have one thing money and practice can't buy.

You look like a nice guy.

What?

You look like a nice guy. It's good.


Hey, you guys, seriously. When I am on the...

Quiet! When I am on the phone, I am on the phone.

Okay? That means you don't talk.

Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

Didn't you see me? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I was standing right here. God, I didn't even see you.

There are people around. Are you okay?

You could buy gas. Of course I could buy gas.

I could also not buy it.

Nobody would buy it if they didn't have to.

You wouldn't have got that woman out of the elevator, would you?

You would've grabbed it and left her. What?

I said I could get her purse. I never said I would steal it.

I never said you said that.

What?

Here.

It's in there.

So here's my office. Hey.

Teddy called.

When? This morning.

What'd you say? That you were in the hospital.

You want a Coke? Yeah. Sounds good.

Two Cokes.

Someone is looking for you? Yeah. Some cop.

A cop? Really? A cop is looking for you?

Relax, will you? You see a SWAT team outside?

Ron's.

Hang on.

Valerie.

Fuck.

Yeah?

Why?

Well, I can't.

Because I can't. Because I'm in the middle of something.

It'll take me an hour to get down there.

No. It's all the way fucking downtown, Valerie. Forget it.

That's your problem. Hey...

I don't know what you're talking about, okay? I don't know who that is.

All right, you want me to come? I'll come. But I'm warning you.

If this is some fucking ruse to get me to talk about...

All right.

Fine. Fine.

All right. Bye.

Come on.

We're leaving?

Who was that? My sister.

What does she want? I don't know.

Some guy I know collapsed in the lobby of the hotel where she works.

Had a heart attack or something. Hey, hey. No drinks in the car.

Seriously. Drink it or whatever.

You have any brothers or sisters?

An older brother.

Where's he? In Arizona.

What's he do? He's gay.

That's his occupation? What's he do?

Sells furniture or something.

You don't talk to him? Not that much.

How come?

He had a different father than me, okay?

Whoops.

"Whoops" what?

"Whoops" whoops.

What about you?

It's just you and your sister?

Why do you wanna know? I just told you.

One sister, one brother. Both younger.

What are they like?

My brother's great.

Michael.

Great kid, really bright.

What's your sister like?

What's my sister like?

My sister likes giving me shit.

Your sister works here? Yeah.

Okay. Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.

Who's this?

Brian. Hey. Nice to meet you.

I called you. He's working with me.

What do you want?

Do you wanna show me what you have to show me, Valerie?

Or do you wanna make a scene in the lobby of your four-star hotel?

Richard, this is where I work.

I don't want you or your associates doing business here.

I heard you. Why are your partners collapsing here?

Who was it? An old Spanish guy.

That narrows it down. Did he give his name?

Choa? Ochoa?

Ochoa's dead.

Well, Ochoa was creating a disturbance in the lobby...

...trying to see a guest. A VIP, a VVIP.

So I had him escorted out. Yeah, see? My sister the snitch.

While this friend of yours was being escorted out of my hotel...

...he fainted or something. He had a seizure.

I don't need this, Richard.

The house doctor's probably gonna call an ambulance.

What's this have to do with me? He was screaming your name.

He recognized me. He begged me to call you.

So I called you.

Yeah? And I'm supposed to...? Go in there, calm him down.

Make sure that he doesn't come back, and don't you come back either.

You called me. I know.

Do what you need to do, Richard, and go.

Let me get this straight. You came to the hotel asking for Hannigan.

And when you couldn't get through, you got nervous.

And then you collapsed. Right?

So now you need someone to help you sell the goods today.

Right? Yeah.

So, what made you think of me? Because I saw your sister.

The Monroe Silver Certificate.

I copied it.

It took me an entire year. I almost ruined my eyes.

You copied it from what? From a set of photographs...

...taken by the Treasury Department.

I have a partner in the inside. He's my son-in-law.

He's the one who taught me about the bill in the first place.

He read a story about Hannigan's collection of antique currency.

He went and pulled the file on it.

See, he's a janitor, but he's smart. He came to me.

Yeah? So Ochoa the forger has a relative in the Treasury Department?

Yeah. Yeah.

Sounds like a sting. No. He's married to my daughter.

How come you never told me before?

He's black, I didn't wanna get into it with you.

Look, he's gonna send it to a lab. No.

A lab test will take a week at least.

He won't have time for that. He'll be gone tomorrow.

How do you know?

How do I know?

Look at this. He says he's negotiating to buy a group of TV stations...

...but the seller is stalling the negotiations.

This says that Hannigan operates as a resident of Monaco.

If he doesn't leave tomorrow, he'll be over the number of days...

...he can spend in the U.S. Without paying tax on his business...

...all over the world. And that could be tens of millions of dollars.

Okay, how much you gonna ask?

Well, I don't know. Double whatever he offers.

But, Richard... Richard, it's got to be done today.

Yeah. It's now or it's never.

Let go. Let go of me. Okay?

Don't cough on me!

Okay. I'm gonna give you 20 percent.

Look. You're confused. Okay?

If I leave now, all you get is a tube up your ass at the hospital.

Look, I can call somebody else. Yeah, go ahead. Here, use my phone.

How much you want? Ninety percent.

But that's crazy. No, it really isn't.

Look, okay, 50-50.

Ninety percent.

I should have called somebody else.

Hey. Hey.

So I gotta go meet the son-in-law and go to Ochoa's.

So you're doing it. Of course. If I sell it, I get 90 percent.

But this is fucking federal shit, man. Yeah, and it's a six-figure score.

Okay. Listen. Hold on a minute.

What? What?

I want in. In where?

The deal. I need the cash, man. I want a part.

A part? What? We're together for the day, right?

Just a small percentage. Because I'm nice?

This guy got me through my sister. Who do you think you are?

The day just took a turn. Okay?

Come on, I was there.

Your name is? My name is Valerie.

Valerie.

What are you doing? I need to get my parking validated.

Is that Hannigan? That guy you were talking to?

Leave him alone, Richard.

Don't tell him you have a boyfriend. It'll cut your tips in half.

Do you remember a song, an old R & B song from the '70s?

It goes something like:

Don't remember? That's it, let's go.

I won't bother you again. Nothing else you wanna say to me?

Oh, yeah. Talk to your lawyers. Your lawyers are holding things up.

That's what they do. What about Michael?

This isn't about him. It's all about him.

You sued me, and now it's gonna play out.

What do you want? Richard.

I want your lawyer to... Hey, Mike.

How are you? Good.

I'm okay. I'm working here. She's got you all dressed up.

It's not a bad job. I'm just getting the swing of it, but tips are great.

That's what I hear. I gotta get back to work.

I'll see you later? Yeah.

Be good. Yeah, good to see you.

He's a great kid. Hope you're not fucking him up.

Would you please leave now?

Ciao.

The Treasury removed silver and gold certificates from circulation in 1934.

They asked people to redeem them in exchange for cash.

Most people did, but collectors didn't.

Treasury kept a list of all the bills that was printed and all that was redeemed.

And all but three of the bills countersigned...

...by White are accounted for.

There's never been a recorded public sale of this bill.

So most people, including Treasury...

...think somehow the outstanding bills were either lost or destroyed.

So if one of these would happen to turn up...

...it'd be the most valuable piece of currency...

...in the history of the United States.

How my father-in-law? Old.

Got that right.

I gotta go.

So talk to Ochoa, all right?

All right, baby.

You wait here. No, I'm not waiting in the car this time.

Fine.

Come on. Watch and learn.

Mrs. Ochoa.

Who are you? Your husband's friend.

He sent us to pick up an envelope that he left for us.

It's a large, yellow envelope.

On the shelf under the Chinese jar. My husband isn't here.

He said even if he wasn't here we could pick up the envelope.

Look for it, please. My husband is not in. Come back later.

Ma'am, I heard you. We can't come back. This is very important.

Mr. Ochoa, Roberto, told me to come over here and pick up this envelope.

Roberto, my husband, isn't home.

So if he's not home, why do you want to get into the house?

Stop meddling in your husband's business. Listen.

No, I can call the police. I don't wanna get in the house.

I just came to pick up something. I think you should go away.

No, no, no. Come on. Come on.

Excuse me, we're going now.

My brother always gets worked up when we're going to visit our mother.

You're brothers?

We're half brothers.

He promised our mother we would bring the photos...

...and that's why he's acting like this.

But we're only asking you a favor.

Tell your husband that Richard and Brian were here, please.

We'll come back for the photos tomorrow.

Oh well. Thank you very much.

No, wait. Come here.

Okay. No, no. Not you.

You stay over there.

There are photos for your mother in that envelope?

They were beautiful copies that your husband made...

...that our mother loved very much.

The originals got damaged so your husband copied them.

That's why it's so urgent.

Where does your mother live?

My mother lives in San Juan Capistrano.

Do you know San Juan Capistrano?

Oh, my son's wife is from San Juan Capistrano.

Unbelievable! Wow, what a coincidence.

I love San Juan. It's one of the most beautiful places there is.

Yes, very beautiful. Isn't it true?

Give me just one second.

What?

Fifteen percent.

Thirty. Fuck off.

You can't do this without me. I'll kill you first.

Let's go.

Twenty.

Minus expenses.

What a coincidence, I love San Juan Capistrano.

My mother is always telling us never to move her from San Juan Capistrano.

Because she's always saying:

"Where a Gianolo is born they should also die. "

It's a phrase she's always repeating.

She is family of Father Gianolo? She is his cousin.

Since we were children, we knew Father Gianolo.

And if Father Gianolo were to come visit us...

...the problem is that Richard doesn't speak Spanish.

He only speaks English. We don't know who his father is.

That's why he's always fighting with mother.

Yeah.

Hey, hold on a second. Don't get fucking taco sauce all over it.

Yeah. What do you got?

What time?

All right. Thanks.

So Hannigan's at the hotel the rest of the afternoon.

They're having drinks at 3:00. How will you get to him?


Hey. Hey.

Let's just relax. He'll come.


Hello?

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm at the hotel.

As soon as I can.

Well, I haven't met with him yet.

What?

Because I know.

Because I know.

Because he's a collector, that's why.

Rebecca. Because he's leaving the country, that's why.

It's some bullshit world-tax thing.

All right. Love you.

Jesus.

Oh, your phone's working now?

You fuck!

What are you doing in such a nice hotel?

I'm making a sale. Straight up.

Don't lie to me. I'm not.

You're making a deal in the bathroom, huh?

Richard? Hey...

Police. Wait, wait.

Who the fuck are you? You with him?

Is he with you? Yeah.

Get in here.

Come on! Coming.

Now, what the hell are you two up to?

This is a police matter. Step outside.

Excuse me, officer. These gentlemen are here because I called them.

And who are you? My name's William Hannigan.

I'm a guest here at the hotel.

You called them? That's right.

Why don't you put the gun down...

...and then we can possibly negotiate another means of resolving the situation.

Well, I'm sure there is.

I'll let you know.

You come with me.

You two, stay put.

What are you trying to do to me? You said, make it look real.

Look real.

Okay, we gotta go back in. Just take whatever he gives you.

What about my part? I'll get it to you.

Yeah, you'll get it to me right now.

By the way, Teddy's looking for you.

I'll see him, soon as this is done. He's getting tired of leaving messages.


My pleasure.

Follow me.

Are you okay? Yeah.

Where'd your friend get that gun? Same place he got his badge. At his job.

You told the cop downstairs you got something to show me.

Who are you?

I mean, I heard the name, but who are you?

I'm the person you were tipped off about.

Look, you did us a favor downstairs, which we appreciate, but the truth is...

...I have no idea what you're talking about.

You got something to say? No. No. He speaks for me.

What? He speaks for me.

I'm just about to complete a $ 7-billion TV deal.

Now, if you've got something to show me, then show me.

If not, there's the door. Fuck off.

You got time for us now?

You got this? Yeah.

I want it. How much?

Come back in two hours with the actual bill, and then we'll discuss the money.

You wanna do this today?

Well, as you may have heard, I have to leave the country.

No, I hadn't heard that.

Guess that makes us lucky. I'll settle for smart.

What are you doing here? Don't worry.

Stay out of this. We were having a meeting.

A meeting? You're business partners? Don't listen to her.

He tell you what happened to his last partner? Make sure he pays you.

Richard? Richard. Don't come back. Yeah, oh, we'll be back.

I will call the police. And say what?

Richard, go.

So just talk to my wife about the bill. She'll know what to do. Okay?

Hey, listen. I need a favor, man.

Can you take me somewhere?

Come on.

How are your legs? The same.

Tomorrow I will bring you your money.

It should be big. Then we can buy you the piano.

One that has a nice sound.

With these hands of mine, how can I play?

Even less if you keep drinking.

Are you working?

Be careful.

It's okay. What could happen to me?

Just be careful.

Okay, I'm going.

Your old man sick or something? Diabetic.

Insulin, the whole deal? Yeah.

I'm not big on sick people.

He's diabetic. What...? I know.

I'm just saying, they freak me out.

What did your sister mean?

About what? You know, about your partners.

What does she know? She's not even in the game, uptight bitch.

And what is this lawsuit thing?

I don't know what you're talking about. You don't know?

This thing with her and your brother. I was there, I heard it.

My mother died without a will, and my sister thinks I shouldn't get anything.

So she hired a lawyer, so then I hired a lawyer, and my lawyer's better. Okay?

Why did you stop working with Ochoa? None of your business.

Today I'm your partner. It is my business.

You could say I unilaterally readjusted the dividends.

You fucked your partner? "Fucked your partner. " Were you there?

Listen, Ochoa's an idiot, okay? He's talented, but he's an idiot.

If it was so bad, why would he call me again?

Listen, I'm not gonna fuck you on this thing.

Oh, really? Okay?

And how do I know that?

Because it would be wrong.

Focus.

Okay?

No, because I'm not happy about my offer being shopped.

Because they've seen our books. Give them one hour.

I don't care if we lose it. I'm not prepared to go any higher.

And you can tell them that from me.

Yeah, well, I want you to tell them in person.

But I want you to do it now.

Show me.

Check it. Mr. Hannigan.

Without a full battery of lab tests, including a spectrographic analysis...

I don't have time for this. You're the expert.

Check it over and tell me if it's genuine.


Smile when I...


The portrait is lifelike and stands out distinctly.

The hairlines and the points on the seals are sharp and even...

...with very well-defined outlines.

The background density is accurate and very well-blended.

My opinion, subject to further testing, is this article is genuine.

Good.

Good, good. Okay. Pay the man.

Thank you.

So how much?

I don't know what you guys do for a living, and I don't care...

...but one thing is certain, you know fuck-all about currency.

This thing dropped down on you, so whatever you get is found money.

Am I wrong?

No, you're not wrong.

We don't know anything about currency.

But we know this is the most valuable paper ever printed...

...by the U.S. Treasury Department.

You know, that is, according to our partner at the U.S. Treasury Department.

I'll give you 400,000 for it.

What?

What?

What are you doing?

Brian. Brian, sit down.

No. What are you talking about? Sit down.

Brian, you're making everybody nervous. Sit down.

Brian. What is he saying?

He wants 750.

Fine.

Come back at 9:00, and I'll give you the money.

We got $ 750,000. Not yet, we don't.

Twenty percent. Minus expenses.

Bullshit. This is not real. You're gonna fuck me.

This is not real?

Give me that. No.

Come here, come here. Give me this. Listen, you shouldn't come tonight.

I'll do it. You're gonna screw it up. I'm not letting you go by yourself.

Do you think I trust you?


How did it go?

What?

Did he buy it?

What is it with this guy? I don't know.

What are you talking about? My cut.

What do you think you're doing? Are you a fucking clown or something?

Either I get my cut or I tell him it's a fake. You and I both know it's a fake.

How much? Well, 15 percent.

Fuck you. I'll go and tell him it's a fake.

Then you get nothing. Ten percent.

Two. Seven and a half.

Five. All right? Yes.

Give me a phone number where I can get in touch with you.

How do I know you'll call?

You want a receipt? This is how it's done.

I'm not a thief. Yeah, of course not. Sorry.

Here's my card.

I'm at this number in the mornings.

What time? Eight to 11, except Wednesdays.

Fine. Goodbye.

Un-fucking-believable.

Everybody. How much?

Five. Five?

You're handing out too many shares.

Where are we going?

Back to my office. No, I don't wanna go back there.

What's wrong with it?

I don't know. By the time we get there we'll have to be back.

I'll meet you here. Where are you going?

I don't know. I feel like walking. Yeah, all right.

You ever been to prison?

Yeah. Juvie.

First time they got me, I was part of a crew...

...working a merchandise thing. Electronics.

You rent out a space...

...spend a couple months building relationships with suppliers.

You give them enough real money to get your credit limit raised...

...and your net extended to 90 days, right?

Once you got a couple companies, you place these huge orders...

...max out your credit, and when the stuff shows up, sell it and split.

It's a pretty good one too.

The suppliers never see your face...

...and it's three months before they realize what happened.

But this guy we had driving the stuff for us, Lance...

...gets pulled over for driving stoned.

The cops check the back of the truck, so he gives everybody up.

Motherfucker. The second time...

...was an insurance thing.

I learned my lesson there.

Insurance companies don't mess around.

The good hands at Allstate will choke you till your fucking eyes pop out.

But, you know, I didn't get messed with too much inside.

Got real sick once, had an operation.

Prison hospital.

Never been so scared in my whole life.

I mean, think about it.

You're a doctor, you go to medical school...

...so you can end up in a prison hospital?

You have a girl? No.

I can't be without a woman.

Motherfucker!

Stop him!

Stop him! Stop that guy!

Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!


Go, go!

Check the briefcase!

Is it there?

No!

Fuck!

Fuck!

The idea was to wait a few years and then let this one surface.

I mean, I don't know, maybe in Europe.

How much?

Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, Richard?

What do you mean? You owe me for the other one.

What's his offer?

Six... Seven-fifty.

Seven-fifty?

All right, I'll give you 20 percent.

Ten for this one and 10 for the other one.

Well, that's...

That's fair.

So make it 30 for the stress. Go fuck yourself.

In cash.

Upfront.

Come back when you have it.

I don't have that much upfront.

You don't have a choice, Richard.

This morning...

...I didn't have a choice.

We're fucked, man. No.

Fucked is handcuffed on the pavement.

We're three hours from three-quarters of a million dollars.

We're far from fucked.

But we have no money. I have some money.

Oh, really? You have 225 grand? No, less.

I was gonna sit on it till after the lawsuit.

Oh, your sister, right? The estate thing. Another person fucked over.

She didn't see the angle. Otherwise she would've done it?

Yeah, absolutely.

You don't know her. She's fucking unhinged.

You're following her down a hallway, staring at her ass...

...instead of watching her, listening to her voice, boom, you're done.

And where's that money?

Thing is, we're still short.

I could get something from my lawyer, plus, you know, my secret stash...

...plus your 38, that's still only 207 grand.

What? Two hundred and seven.

No, I'm not giving you that money, man.

What? You'll have 150 grand.

No way. I'm not giving you my dad's money. I can't!

Wait. Get out.

Get the fuck out. Why?

I'll get the rest myself. The day's over.

Go find another partner.

I'm not kidding. Get the fuck out of my car!

Take it easy, man.

You think I planned this whole thing so I could take your lousy 38 grand?!

If you're so worried, why didn't you catch the kid with the briefcase?!

Christ, have you learned anything today?!

Okay, calm down! Jesus!

It's the money for my dad, okay?

What if something goes wrong? You said they might kill him!

Whoa, what "if"? There's no "if. " This is happening. We're doing it.

We're doing this! Fuck!

You're trying to save your daddy? I'm trying to save my ass!

Who do you think is calling me all day? I got everything I have on the line.

Everything!

Look, this is happening, okay? We're doing this. You gotta believe it.

Now, we're gonna make the sale, and we're gonna get the cash. That's all.


Carlos.

Hey, man. This is Carlos. Hello.

There's the car.

Give me the keys.

The keys?

Thanks.


I like a Lexus better. It's worth more.

What did he say?

Something about a Lexus? This is a $60,000 car.

Tomorrow you can sell it for a higher price.

And why don't you sell it?

I need the money today.

Do me a favor.

What, you don't trust me?

Concierge. This is Valerie speaking. May I help you?

No, Richard. It's too late for that.

By the lounge.

I'll give you five minutes, and then I'm calling security.

I'm sorry it got as far as it did.

I think the best thing for all of us to do is to drop it.

I don't like Michael seeing me this way, and I think it's for the best.

Just accept it, Valerie.

How'd it go?

What?

You dropped the lawsuit? Yeah.

That ought to keep her off my back for a while.

So have you got something going on with the concierge?

She's my sister.

Really?

Does she know I'm about to make you a very rich man?

Well, she knows we're working on a deal.

With regards to the deal, I think you should put in something a little extra.

Like a signing bonus.

What are you talking about? Valerie.

I want to fuck her. I've wanted her since I got here...

...but I couldn't have her, but now I can. Because of you.

You're kidding me, right?

You get Valerie to bring the Monroe, and you and I still have a deal.

But it has to be her.

Because I'll accept no one else.

What happened?

She won't do it.

I'm dropping the lawsuit. What more do you want?

Just do this, okay, Val?

This is huge for me. This is the biggest thing I've ever gotten close to.

Please. All you gotta do is bring him the briefcase and, you know...

Whatever happens after that is up to you.

I'm trying to do something here. I'm trying to meet you halfway.

But if you want me to drag you through court for 10 years...

...and for Michael to be a bellhop for the rest of his life...

...well, then, just say no. Just walk away.

Meet me in the ballroom in five minutes.

Richard! Hey.

Michael...

...I think Richard has something that he needs to say to you.

What's he doing here? I want you to tell him the truth.

I think he has a right to know.

To know what?

How you doing, buddy? I'm good.

Good. Richard.

Tell him about the lawsuit.

What are you talking about, Valerie? I'm talking about the truth, Richard.

I'm talking about the fucking truth. He knows the truth, okay?

My lawyer screwed some things up... Richard...

...if you want me to fuck William Hannigan...

...I want you to tell him the truth.

What's going on? Richard, tell him the truth...

...and I will go with Hannigan.

Tell him.

That's my price.

Mike...

...I had my lawyer block the estate and submit me as the only heir...

...so I'd get all the money.

I bribed the judge.

And...

...the lawyers and...

...the taxes?

Why?

It's a lot of money, Mike.

And this thing about Hannigan?

Mike...

...she's a big girl. She knows what she's doing. Just stay out of it.

What the fuck are you trying to do? Huh?

Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted?

Fuck you. No, Mike, Mike...

Michael! Michael! Hey, Mike!

Hey, easy, man. Michael!


Make sure the money's all there.

Count it.

All right.

So just don't let the briefcase out of your sight.

I want 15.

What? I want 15.

Thousand?

No.

Listen. The price was my confessing to Michael. That was the price.

Now it's that...

...plus 15 percent.

Val, I can't.

That would put me at 70 percent out, I'd barely be making any money.

Make up your mind. Fifteen percent...

...or I walk.

All right, split with me, 7.5 percent.

What? Come on.

I put up my savings, my car, you go halves with me.

I'm sorry, it's your sister. No.

I pulled you out of that casino. I let you in.

I let you in. You would have been busted at the fucking casino if it wasn't for me.

He's doing it.

It's okay.

Listen, don't fall for my sister.

I told you, you don't know her.

We're lucky it was only 15 percent.

Hey. You got any credit cards that work?


What are you doing?

Where is she? Did she come down yet? Nope.

Why didn't you wake me? It's the only time I've seen you happy.

Shit.

Mr. Hannigan. Now, that's the important one.

Mr. Hannigan. Oh, you came to say goodbye.

Make sure the Italians... No. Do you have the money?

I gave it to your sister.

And I'll tell you, I've had some fucks, but she is up there.

Make sure the Germans are... Hold on. You can't leave.

She hasn't come down yet. What?

We had a deal, okay? She hasn't come down yet.

Just give me five minutes to make sure it's okay. You can't leave yet.

You're a rich man. You got what you wanted.

Be happy.

It better all be there!


Here you go. A check?

You accepted a fucking check?

Did you look at it, Richard?

It's certified by the bank. It's the same as cash.

I know what it is. He didn't have time to do it.

We set the price yesterday afternoon. He had checks for different amounts.

He had one for 750, one for 900, one for $ 1.2 million, so...

...got off cheap. How do you know?

The hotel has an executive assistant service.

We did it for him. Same as cash.

All right. We have 45 minutes before the bank opens.

Okay. I gotta make a call.

It's over.

It'll never be over.

No, I mean, this business.

Yeah, so do I.

How's Michael?

He'll be okay.

I'm sorry, man.

For what?

You know, I thought you were trying to fuck me.

If I were trying to fuck you, you'd be fucked.

Listen...

...I've been thinking about it.

I'm sorry about what my sister pulled last night.

I'm gonna bring you back up to 20 percent.

What? I can't make a gesture? You did a good job yesterday.

It's a surprise. Yeah, well, it's still minus expenses.

Thanks.

They'll be out front. Thank you.

Come here. Come here. I want to talk to you. Come here.

Listen, Val, I'm...

Thank you.

The Jew's gonna have an aneurysm when he finds out about this.

And a new partner on top of it? He's gonna be pissed.

You know what?

We should just call this a one-time-only thing, you know? Just split the cash.

What are you talking about?

I don't wanna keep doing this.

I wanna use this money to get myself going.

You'll spend it. Six months, you'll be where you started.

Maybe, yeah, but it's my choice.

Fine. Fuck it. Unbelievable.

Hey, wait... Gene, no.

Get over there! Let me explain, will you? Come on!

I need to go see Teddy, then I'm coming to you.

I want my money now, fucker!

Gene, just relax.

What the fuck is this, huh?

You wanna get killed over a fucking check?

What did you do with the money? I hid it...

I didn't want to risk being robbed again. Give it to me.

No.

No, if you kill me, there's no money.

Then I kill him. Gene, please.

Okay, go ahead.

I'll kill him, I will. Man, shit happens.

Brian! He's a fucking junkie! Just give him the money!

No. No?!

No. Why?

You said "fucking check. "

What? You said "check" instead of "cash. "

I didn't say check. Yes, you fucking did!

I didn't say check.

Yes, you did. You said check.

Goddamn it! Caught me on short notice!

I didn't have time to prepare. Get out of here, you sack of shit.

But I needed 50 for the gun. Fuck your 50! Get out of here!

Now you see why I need you? Huh?

Fucking incompetent.

What?

What? Oh, you're hurt?

What's with the raped-virgin look, huh?

You know what I do. I had to try. What do you expect?

Yeah, something. Yeah, well, come on.

The bank's open. Give me the check. No way. I carry the check.

You give me that check. This is my deal. I'll carry it.

So just find somewhere to wait. Why?

Because I look like a businessman and you look like a fucking cholo, okay?

Just blend in. I'll find you.

Excuse me, I wonder if you could help me. I have a check I need to cash.

It's from the bank here.

Can you wait here just a moment?

A sum this large I have to clear with the manager.

Sure. Just a formality.

Absolutely. I meant to call before I came over...

...but my office had me all tied up. No problem.


Excuse me, Mr. Gaddis? Yes.

I'm Joel Strumpel, the manager. How do you do?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Would you mind stepping into my office for a moment?

Is there a problem? It's just a formality.


Sir?

Relax, sir.

Calm down, sir. Just calm down.

Get the fuck off me! Relax!

Get him to his knees.

Stand straight up, sir. Stand straight up.

Do you have any weapons?

All right, let's take him back to the bank.

We're bringing him in.


Show your cards.

Hey, did everything go okay? Yeah. Just fine.

Good.

Should be careful with that, guys. Might be worth something.

Not a fucking chance.

Come on, how did we do? Did it go okay?

Yeah, we did okay.

You were scared. I was not.

Stop being so coy. Give us details. We want details.

Okay. Did he run? Tell me if he tried to run.

He tried to run.

I told you he'd try to run. I just wish I would have been there.

Hey, I thought you said you were gonna quit smoking.

Your dad says so. You're smoking. You're hot.

I'm alive! I'm alive! You! Yes, you are.

Oh, thanks. Thank you.

Don't quit your day job.

You okay?

Now I am.

The estate is being transferred to me and Michael this morning.

Thank you.

I have something for you.

You do? Yeah.

It's very special.

It belonged to my grandmother and her mother before her.

That is beautiful.


[ENGLISH]