Well, I do want our readers to feel that this is really your story.
So I thought I'd perhaps ask you a few questions and if you'd just answer them in your own words.
Yes, I see. All right, ask away.
Well, let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Well, I... I had a terribly ordinary childhood, I'm afraid.
Born at an early age and all that.
Fell off lots of bicycles, ate too many cream cakes.
A normal childhood, you know.
Oh, this is me, age six.
Probably a piece of chewing gum stuck under me hat, only you can't see.
I do remember I was always the sort of child who got picked on to do things.
♪ La, la, la, la, la. ♪ What a darling little baby, he is...
Joseph was actually my older sister, Felicity.
I'm afraid I told everyone she'd grown the beard specially for the part.
Felicity, poor thing, was not amused.
You must be very proud of her, Mrs. Scott.
She's going to go a long way.
You can see that.
Yes, I think she is.
This is me, age 20.
I don't know what I was wearing.
Terribly Chelsea I thought I was.
And, really, I suppose I was as square as an ice cube with it.
Try that one over there. Right you are.
What, me on the telly? It won't take a minute.
Oh, how fascinating. You must tell me what to do, though.
Could you come this way, please, then?
Oh, yes. I hate convention.
You can't breathe, you have to break away.
But isn't the breakaway of yesterday the convention of today?
Well, then you have to break away again.
Just for the sake of it? Isn't that conventional?
And the way young people live today... I mean, the way, they dress, and, the way they dance, the way they talk, even.
That's more conventional than what they're trying to get away from.
Wouldn't say the way I dress is conventional.
Well, you're dressed in the height of fashion
- and your hair is... Oh, I just wash and comb it.
She's fine. We'll use that. Very good.
How conventional are we in matters of public taste?
The London skyline is constantly altering and yet young architects...
Thank you so much for letting me see the finished product.
It was a very good program.
You really think so?
I thought I looked ghastly, but it was a super program.
But I thought you looked super and the program looked ghastly.
What's more, I'm right, too.
No, I thought you looked frightfully lean and intelligent.
I am frightfully lean and intelligent.
If nothing else.
'Course you must lead such an interesting life.
Being a professional question mark?
Oh, it's better than being a professional bosom.
You should try posing for bra ads sometime.
I did once. Disaster... complete disaster.
Ooh, is this yours?
Why, yes, as a matter of fact, it is.
What do you think I am? Go on, get in. Oh, dear.
There's so much junk in this place.
I keep on chucking things out.
Have an acid drop? Oh, yes, I'd love one, thank you.
One. Thank you.
Two. Oh, thank you.
Oh, we... we just sort of began to meet, you know?
He had tickets for this or he thought I might be interested in that.
It was really mostly mental to start with.
There was nothing deliberate about it.
We didn't know what we were doing at all.
You're a thoroughly rotten shot.
Tiny rotten target. You couldn't hit a tiki bird.
Heads we do, tails we don't.
Oh, how I'd love to live here.
Well, we'd have to do an awful lot to it.
We'd have to do everything to it.
Yes, you're right.
Do you know these cottages are being carefully rehabilitated?
At great expense.
They will emerge as unique cottage type homes of distinction.
Do you want to live in a cottage type home of distinction?
I wouldn't mind.
With a yellow front door and a carriage lamp to match?
Oh, ghastly. I really do believe you... I do!
You are a fantastic girl.
Why? I don't know, you just are.
Oh, it should be so easy to be happy, shouldn't it?
Should be the easiest thing in the world.
I wonder why it isn't.
Maybe it is.
Still all right for Wednesday?
Yes, it's all right for Wednesday.
I hate this furtiveness. So corny.
It's so... So embarrassing.
What you want to do, then?
I don't know.
I do know...
I don't know.
Come on, darling.
Uggh, so boring.
Come on, darling. You started it.
It was your idea that we should learn the language for our holiday.
Yes, and I would have to be able to say was, "Oh, what a lovely view."
Well, I'm getting on with it.
All right, you get on with it.
Of course I loved him dearly.
He was one of the nicest boys in the world.
Just that he was so desperately immature.
Our marriage had been sort of forced upon him, poor lamb.
And he just wasn't ready for the responsibility.
He tried nobly, but, you know, he hadn't really got the faintest idea of what it was all about.
Now, Mr. Southgate, you have the reputation of being something of a... a lone wolf.
Is this a protest against the establishment?
It's true I have always preferred to be a mouse that walked by itself rather than a member of a group of literary lions.
Always licking each other or washing each other behind the ears and biting each other. And you know they're behind bars in a cultural zoo.
They won't let you print that.
Oh, yes, they will. If I fight.
And will you fight? He fights.
Now that you've moved down here into the country, into virtual isolation...
Robert had marvelous tact.
Incredible maturity, sensitivity.
He'd got this funny old bloke spouting his head off. Fascinating.
I'd never met anyone like old Southgate.
Suddenly one felt madly in. You know?
I mean, to think... this is one of the great writers of the century and here I am.
Oh, it was extraordinary.
I don't really remember much anyone said, that wasn't really the thing.
The thing was they accepted me.
I'm just dying to read your books.
They're mostly out of print.
Do you mind if I help myself?
Please do. - No, thank you.
Well, it's been fabulous meeting you.
Are you a truth teller?
Yes, I think so.
Well, she is with me. You consider yourself a very lucky man.
Oh, yes, I do.
Gosh, that's marvelous.
I'm glad you like it.
I'd rather have done it than written half my stories.
It probably only took him half an hour. You know?
I should like you to have it. - Oh.
Both of you. We couldn't possibly. Absolutely not.
Please. It's yours. It belongs to you.
I'm 78 years old, more or less.
Besides, I'd much rather you left this place with this under your arm than that recording of antique birdsong.
Just one moment, please. I have a call for you.
Go ahead, Ipswich.
How are the children?
Fine. I shall have to stay the night.
I'm staying with him, actually.
Oh, all right.
So, I'm sorry, but give them my love, will you?
And tell them I'll see them tomorrow.
Okay, you'll go now. Wait until I get some money.
Go ahead, Southampton.
Hello, love, I'm still in Southampton.
Oh, hell. What a bore.
I know, darling, but it's just as much a bore for me.
Okay, yes. See you tomorrow, then. Bye-bye, darling.
Thank you so much.
Wait till we get these on.
Funny pair, that Mr. and Mrs. Gold in 409.
I suppose... you've done this sort of thing hundreds of times before.
Well, you're wrong.
I have never.
It's not exactly my line, either.
I just happen to love you.
I told you.
It is... for real, then?
It's the first time I've felt real for a long time.
Ooh, look how jazzy!
Every three hours we can call for refreshments.
The thought of breaking up someone's family was absolutely repellent to me, honestly.
If anyone had told me that I was doing anything like that, I would have been horrified.
I have always regarded families as...
Well... unbustable, you know.
And over there a spare divan is pictures of Cambridge.
A very convenient door, through there, leading to bedroom.
A picture reproduction of clown.
Glass is cracked.
Yes. A mirror with gilt ormolu frame, one clock... It seems to have stopped.
I'm sure it only needs winding.
And through here, of course, you've got your hall.
The gas meter's there.
Through there's the kitchen, three steps up here to the bathroom.
Large cupboard there, very useful for leaving one's coats.
And in here... in the kitchen we have this gas cooker which was put in by the last tenant. It is relatively new.
Your books have arrived.
And, your records.
Are these yours? Yes.
Hello, my darling.
It doesn't intrude on you because it's been dead for so long.
It has this look... property of a sort of beautifully laid-out corpse.
You know, you don't worry about it, it's always there, you look out the window...
Are Liz and Muliano off at the moment?
Oh, I have no idea at all. What shall I put?
Well, just put "with best wishes" and leave out "to you both."
Love, Robert and Diana.
Cool Christmas, honey. Happy Christmas.
Darling, two of the most gorgeous Negroes you have ever seen have just gone up the stairs. What on earth's going on up there?
They're having a diplomatic reception.
Would you like to have a diplomatic reception?
What a good idea.
I can't get them to go.
Oh, well, make them! Force them to go.
I don't know, can't you force them to go?
I don't... I don't know half of them.
Oh, dear. I just wish they'd all go away from our little place.
Why did we ever have this party?
I don't know, but I wish they'd all go.
My friends seemed to get on very well with your friends.
But your friends are so pretty.
Well, yours are so intelligent.
I couldn't have been happy if I had kept Robert from his children.
I was absolutely insistent, rain or shine, he went and saw them.
I couldn't have forgiven myself if he hadn't done that, you see.
I've never really been the jealous type.
Where the hell have you been?
I told you I had to go see the children.
Till this hour?
Did you see her?
I don't know whether I believe you.
What makes you think she wants to see me?
Perhaps you want to see her. Perhaps I do.
Well, why don't you tell me if you want to see her.
If you're still in love with her?
Look here, now listen.
I love you. Honestly.
Robert, you won't leave me, will you?
I can't leave you. If only you knew.
I'm so frightened sometimes.
What do you mean you're so frightened sometimes?
Why? What are you frightened of?
I'm, oh, so happy.
Listen, shall we get married?
Get married and finish all this?
Darling, I'm so happy as we are.
I don't want anything to change.
If we got married, there'd be so much... bitterness and unhappiness for everyone, wouldn't there?
Oh, Robert, darling.
An American statesman recently said that Britain was a country which had lost pride in itself.
Have we so much to be ashamed of, I wonder?
Let's find out.
What are you ashamed of in Britain today?
I can't think of nothing. Nothing?
Well, the traffic and that. You know, it's a bit congested...
That's the worst thing as far as you're concerned? Yeah.
Well, some people don't work hard enough.
I work hard in Bristol for one person... I do it for one person.
Her name's Margaret Robertson. I got the photograph on me.
Well, everyone these days wants something for nothing.
They don't want to put anything out for what they're striving to get out of this.
Talking as a Londoner, I think in London itself, the amount of, how... how rife homosexuality has become in London itself.
I would say again in retrospect that a few years back that, - again, two or three years ago, that you were, very blatantly sort of approached by different people in different places.
You say it's worse?
I think in actual fact, it has become worse over a period of time.
But it's one of those things that you have to live with now.
Yes, I suppose so.
- Night porter. Try that London number again, will you?
What was that number again, sir?
Saxon double two, four, nine.
One moment, please.
Morphy-Richards refrigerator, a gift of Mr. Charles Glass.
Number... 81. - Here.
Mr. David Rodnick-Barney.
Holiday for two in the Bahamas, gift of Mr. Samuel Goldstone.
Yes, me. But I've just come back.
Normally I never did charity work.
It's usually terribly draggy.
But, you know, Robert was away and Miles Brand happened to phone the same day.
After all, he had chosen me for the "Honeyglow Girl."
Hi, Miles. Hello.
Miles didn't mean a thing, you know, in my private life.
I didn't attach any importance to it.
Still admire yourself as much as ever, Miles?
How lucky it is you're a man after your own heart.
Darling. I thought I could smell prussic acid.
I put it down to the weather.
Must make a change from putting it down to expenses.
How savage we are tonight.
Somebody's husband gone back to his wife?
If he had, you'd have been there to greet him.
Leftovers aren't exactly my diet, my darling.
Oh, I thought you were always in the market.
That remark was young when you were.
Miles, Mr. Glass. Oh, excuse me.
I suppose the main attraction really was Charles Glass.
You know, "Mr. Honeyglow" himself.
He's a terrible sweetie. Do you know Charles?
Oh, he's a terrible sweetie.
Lady Siena Shaw.
Shaw, my dear fellow.
I hear you're making a new movie.
How the hell do you know that?
I take a great interest in your squalid career. I have to.
If you're shooting full-length epics, you won't want to do commercials for the Glass Group.
Oh, says who?
After all, a lie can be shot with integrity just like anything else.
Who's the crumpet? You have been most kind.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
Congratulations, darling. Now, ladies and gentlemen, a few words from the president of the charity we've all been assisting tonight.
Pray, silence for the Right Honorable Basil Willett, M.P.
A man of few words and all of them long ones.
You were splendid, Diana.
I want you to meet, Sean Martin.
This is Miss Diana Scott.
Hello. How do you do?
Would Mr. Glass say a few words?
I doubt it, but I'll ask him. Would you excuse me?
I want to say just this...
That no matter how much public money we, the government, devote to good causes, there will always be a place for private generosity like yours, ladies and gentlemen, tonight.
Never have I seen so many hearts so obviously in the right place.
I'm sure I have no need to bring to your attention the plight of our brothers of every creed, race, and color in every far-flung corner of the Earth who are at this very moment are suffering the...
The humiliation, degradation, shame of the agonies of malnutrition.
Oh, of course, I'd love to make a film someday.
So much is important. The right director, the right script.
Oh, you think the director makes a difference, do you?
Well, it has been known.
Oh, this is my wife Sybil. Diana Scott.
I think he managed that very well indeed, don't you?
Oh, here she is. Diana.
Oh, I was afraid you'd walked out in protest against my speechifying.
Oh, not at all.
They've got something for us upstairs.
Crisps and Pepsi-Cola.
I'm afraid I haven't seen one of your pictures.
So little time when one's in politics to do anything except try and stay in it.
Someone said that Bruce Rumford lost 27 thousand pounds last week.
Absolute ridiculous exaggeration.
Good evening. Good evening.
It was only 21 thousand. Oh, is that all?
Miles. How are you?
Well, Your Grace. And you?
Absolutely splendid. I'm delighted.
It was said of her great-grandmother that the only members of the Cabinet who weren't her lovers were the ones who had reason to believe they might be her father.
She's got a lot to live up to.
Well, if it isn't the Lord Grant.
My dear Miles.
Like your black boys, John.
Don't suppose I can't wrap one up to take him home?
I wouldn't advise you to try. They're all numbered, Alex.
And I wouldn't try to change your luck, if I were you.
Would you like to see the library?
Oh! Only one way to preserve a library these days and that's to build a gambling hall around it.
This royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle, this earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, this other Eden, demi-paradise.
This fortress built by nature for herself.
Against infection and the hand of war.
This happy breed of men, this little world.
This precious stone set in a silver sea.
Which serves it in the office of a wall, or as a moat defensive to a house.
Against the envy of less happier lands.
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
That's the Glass house.
What's this supposed to be?
It's known familiarly in the group as three couples taking their pleasures with a fourth looking on.
Would it be locked?
One has a key.
Is this you?
Do you go into sporting?
Yes, I do. Do you?
No. I don't do anything.
What is it?
Do you have parents?
I can't imagine you with parents.
Yes, I have.
Two of them.
Imagine if... What?
...it took three.
Sexes to make a child.
Everything would be different, wouldn't it?
Quite different with three sexes.
Haven't we got enough problems with two?
Is this where the Glass millions are stored?
Oh, don't tell me it only contains a pint of milk and a four and sixpenny book of stamps.
Leave me my illusions, please.
It's mainly papers. Oh.
Important papers? Very.
Do open it. I should love to see an important paper.
I never have.
Wouldn't you? Under any circumstances?
If someone made it worth your while, really worth your while.
Have you ever been afraid?
What's an important paper about?
All sorts of things.
People you're about to take over?
It could be. People we're interested in.
One reason or another.
Don't people know when you're interested in them?
They know sometimes.
Well, then... But they don't know how interested.
No, I suppose not.
That's not so easy to tell, I suppose.
No, one hopes not.
I wish you'd open up.
I can't do that.
Sorry. What for?
Oh, I just seem to be leaving most of your tires on the road.
Enjoy yourself with the compliments of the Glass Organization.
Don't you possess anything of your own?
Only the things I can't replace.
Of course I told Robert about Miles.
He didn't mean anything after all.
I was always, always absolutely honest with Robert.
Well, I just had to be.
And heavens, there's nothing wrong with someone helping you with your career after all, is there?
Miles was just madly helpful.
He knew absolutely everyone.
He was just so madly helpful, that's all.
Well, we just wanted to have a look at you.
Yes, we just want to take a look at you.
Well? Have a look?
Would you look toward the street?
Now, the door.
That's right. Now, I want you to look at me, but keep your neck the same angle.
Well, what do you think?
She's all right, she's fine, fine.
Has she enough profile? - Yeah, sure.
She'll be standing up most of the time.
Excuse me, but I don't even know what the film's called.
Oh, the book? - Yes.
What part would it be? Jacqueline.
So much for me. That's me lot.
What? There was a bit at the end when I was picked up by the ambulance, but that's been cut.
From now on, it's just about who did me and why.
You men, go around back.
Robert, stay with me.
Yes? My name's Martin. Inspector Martin.
Oh, yes. We've been expecting you.
This way, please.
What a party. What a wank.
What a bunch of zombies.
Did you hate the movie? Didn't you?
You did, say you did. Why I did.
You didn't. Or I didn't.
You did! Well, I must say.
Never been so insulted in all me days.
My first title role.
Robert, what do you think of Miles?
Absolutely crazy about him.
Seriously, what did you?
Well, what can I say?
Think I've been a fool?
No. People do what they want to.
You are jealous. Who knows what I am.
Well, you're the one I bed with.
I hate you. What a thing to say!
Well, what do you want me to say?
You know as well as I do what you're up to.
Don't be jealous. There's no need.
Anyway this is the finish.
Of what? Me and showbiz.
Well, it so happens I'm pregnant.
Are you pleased?
You should have told me sooner. I'd have carried you.
I can't hear anything ticking. You won't for some months.
No, I know that. Oh, yes, you would.
Are you pleased?
If you are.
What should we call it?
Jacqueline. Oh, but of course. Jacqueline.
Shall I wear it to Pat and Margie's tomorrow night?
But, darling, it's much too soon for that.
Oh, yes, just for a giggle.
Please, I'll have this.
I hadn't really thought about what it meant, you know?
It seemed lovely, but then I realized it was going to be the ruination of my career.
Messing up people's lives, you know... mine, Robert's, everybody's.
I just began to realize I couldn't go through with it.
Heather was lovely.
She was terribly nice because you know, she...
She'd had a miscarriage herself recently and... and she sort of knew the ropes and that.
Oh, thank you.
If you can be here on Friday at 11, that would be best.
Bring your overnight things and, oh, skip breakfast that morning.
How do you feel?
I don't want anything to do with sex again as long as I live.
How do you feel?
When're they going to let you out? Anytime.
They've got lots of eager ladies, they're queuing for the bed, it seems.
I can believe that.
I'm not going back to the flat.
You don't, but it doesn't matter.
All right. I don't.
My sister came to see me.
I'm going down with them.
The country. I need...
What? Jesus, I... Don't touch me.
I just wish that... There's no good wishing.
I'll probably stay at the flat for a bit.
If you want me, that's where I'll be.
Don't forget to feed the fishes.
Poor little things.
Bang, bang! You're dead!
Are you really dead? Deading.
You'll never catch me. I've got trouble at number 10, darling.
What have you got? I got "Morality in the test tube."
Don't point guns, William.
I've told you about that before.
I don't want her to get too tired, Alec. No.
Come on, William, that's enough.
Leave Auntie Diana alone.
Come on, darling. Don't be tiresome.
Come on, come and sit down here and play with your comics.
Darling, come and sit down.
You don't want to get too tired out, you know.
Come and relax. Have a comic.
Pity you missed the daffodils this year, darling.
They're absolutely lovely.
Would you like crispy?
Just a bit, Alec, but no fat.
Here you are, Ivor.
You changed your hairstyle, I see, Felicity.
Oh, good, you like it. Yes, I have a new Hungarian.
He's a refugee who does it nicely.
Gives it volume, which is what I like.
Do start, please, Rupert. Don't stand uncertainly, dear.
Lawn looks good, Alec. How do you do it?
It's that new "Stay Green."
What about that plastic sprinkler I recommended?
Completely useless. Couldn't get the stuff through the hose.
Oh, really? I'm awfully sorry.
Oh, this is going to turn into one of those frightful gardening conversations.
I know it's so good, Ivor, but you really must stop it.
Oh, all right.
Saw your film at our local fleapit.
I'm sorry we didn't see more of it.
Unfortunately we missed the beginning. Best part.
You were stunning. Oh, like my black lingerie, did you?
Ivor's been after me to buy some.
Really, Helen, is nothing sacred?
You see what you do to our suburban morals?
Your type of picture? No, honestly, you were jolly good.
Rupert makes films, too, you know?
Oh, how fascinating. Honestly, Felicity, I thought we made a solemn pact?
No, you must tell me all about it.
Well, it's something I had to do with the War House, actually.
Training film. Oh, training film.
How to service an armored car.
Oh, a star vehicle, no less.
Oh. Hadn't thought of that.
Nothing like yours, of course.
Could I have the horse... Alec, may I have the horseradish?
What are you doing up at this hour?
I haven't had my chocolate or anything.
Oh, really, William. Well, you are really being so boring, darling.
I thought we discussed all this before...
But I haven't had my chocolate.
Now, don't start your sniveling.
Don't worry, Felicity, I'll find him his chocolate.
Oh, would you, Di, darling? Thank you so much.
She's absolutely brilliant with children.
Quite, quite marvelous.
I do apologize, I'm so sorry.
What was actually wrong with Diana's original husband?
Rupert's the right age.
Bridges was steady.
Yes, but he was too young.
Rupert's the right age.
Do you think he, Oh, I think he did, yes.
Was he cheating? I think she did, yeah.
Alec, you got your elbow somehow...
Oh, I wasn't aware. Sorry.
What I shall never understand is...
How you and she...
Same parents, same background...
Yes, I know. 'Tis odd.
This chap of hers in London, it all finished now?
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. No question of that at all.
Like that? I had to.
It was so boring, I could have screamed.
You mean you came in a train dressed like that?
No one noticed.
You funny girl.
One day I'm going to have to bail you out of clink.
For indecent exposure.
'Course I would.
Want some coffee?
No, I don't.
Sorry. Sorry I spoke.
Would you rather I went up to the office and worked?
I don't know.
There's something about a typewriter.
Why don't you go and do something?
Try that audition. It's your sort of thing.
Go on, have a try. Just go and have a go.
Take the car, and don't crash it.
I want to dance. I want to dance.
That's what you'll never understand.
I don't want to think. I want to dance.
Your name, please. Diana Scott.
Would you like to wait over there, please?
Tell me about yourself. What you've been up to recently.
Well, I've done six months at Bournemouth rep, playing leads in things.
Some television, "Z Cars," "The Avengers," a season at Worthing rep, a couple of Edgar Wallace's at Merton Park.
Yes, that's fine. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Miss Joy Green, please.
Miss Joy Green, thank you.
- Miss Green. Yes?
Go ahead with that speech on that sheet...
Yes, yes, I have.
All right, thank you.
- I want to dance. Louder.
I want to dance.
That's what you'll never understand.
I don't want to think, I want to dance.
Hey! That's my meter! Sorry.
Sorry? I should think you are sorry.
Go on, get out of it!
Look who's here. Your secretary told me you'd be here.
Hope you don't mind. Mind? Not at all.
How are things?
Nice place. Had it long?
Not too long. It's convenient.
The firm owns it. Came to us by mistake.
One tries to see that one's mistakes usually are.
I always feel as if there's one more corner to turn.
And I'll be there.
And so you will.
And there'll be another.
That's the attraction of corners.
I do love Robert, you know.
My goodness, what a bit of luck.
You're a clever girl.
My lucky day.
What the hell are you doing?
What the hell am I doing?
Sitting in the dark.
Admiring the view.
Good for you.
Sorry I'm so late, the car got towed away.
Bloody meters. Had to go miles to get it back.
I would've been back sooner if it hadn't been for that.
Where'd you have to go?
I don't know. Taxi took me.
I just know it took hours.
Did you have to pay? How did you get it out?
You always have to pay to get a car out, don't you?
What sort of day have you had?
What kept you?
I told you, I had to get the car out.
I mean so that you overshot the meter.
I didn't go to my audition.
I went to my agent instead.
And I think I've got a job coming up in Paris soon.
What's that for?
Getting the car out.
Where would I be without you?
Of course, Miles was the perfect guide because he knew Paris on every possible level.
You know, the tourist level, and then he could take one inside and show one how sophisticated people live.
Oh, we went to a fabulous wedding, I remember.
Chloe Calman, the film actress, had remarried Toto Damiano.
You know, the American manganese heir.
And afterwards we went on to the most extraordinary place with them.
They're astonishing people.
Terribly sophisticated and sort of emotionally inquisitive.
Which is a marvelous thing, really.
Are you English? Yes.
Aww, she's beautiful. She lives in England?
And how are you? Okay.
Make yourself comfortable. The young one is late, I don't know why.
One of yours?
I thought I recognized the rivets.
You're improving. Oh, Miles, I love you.
You're such a... Oh, Billie.
If I didn't know you were a man, I'd be very shocked.
Diana, darling. I want you to meet Billie Castiglione.
He's one of the best Sculptresses in Paris.
He's dying to do your bust.
I'm going to kill that man, I am.
You've got a beautiful head.
Wonderful bones, truly.
It's very hot in here.
She's got an interesting head.
Andre, the music, please.
This is going to be fun.
What is it?
Well, it's... kind of a truth game, sort of.
Come. You play with me.
Oh, no, I don't know how to do it.
Oh, you mustn't be shy.
I'm not shy.
When the music stops, the cradle will rock.
Stop the music!
Why, Diana Scott, how you've changed.
Why, darling, it's only because I've had a little too much sunray.
I don't understand. Is he pretending to be me?
You're home and dry.
I don't understand français, je.
How many times?
Don't be frightened. It's fun.
Will you come on a cruise with me to...
Only if I can have the top berth.
What would you do to be in my next film, Diana?
I don't know the name for it, but I'll definitely do it.
Why is he doing this?
Miles, my dear fellow, I'd know you anywhere.
Tell me, do you love Diana?
Is she good in bed, Miles?
I haven't noticed. I am.
Does she love you?
Like a prisoner loves a jailer.
'Cause I carry a big bunch of keys.
Oh, shut up!
Miles, my love, have you ever been in love?
Yes, for as long as I can remember.
Tell me, Miles, if you could be anything in the world, what would you most want to be?
A pimp in a royal whorehouse.
Will Mr. and Mrs. Harper please contact General Inquiry desk.
Mr. and Mrs. Harper.
Is this all your luggage? Yes, it is.
Have you read this before?
Yes. Have you anything to declare?
Only her lunch.
I have a personal call from Paris for a Mr. Robert Gold.
Western 7655. Mr. Gold?
I just couldn't help myself.
Hello, I'm ringing from... - I mean, all I wanted to do, really, was not hurt Robert, you know.
That was the main thing.
I kept thinking to myself... you know, Miles would sort of burn itself out.
And that, meanwhile, all that mattered was trying to make sure that nobody got hurt.
That was the main thing.
Good luck with Robert. Thank you, bye.
Is he really a crook? Most certainly is.
He just served five years.
I've done an interview with him for the program on Sunday.
It's already in the can.
And number 24, "Man's Head in a Bucket."
Strongest echoes of Grünwald.
He's got a fantastically lean and hungry look.
Is it true he's so tremendous in bed?
Oh, I'm afraid I didn't get around to asking him.
Diana, sweetie. How terribly to see you.
Terribly to see you.
I say, isn't this awfully? Yes.
Come meet Ralphie before he disappears.
Oh, my dear. For another five years.
In the great tradition of silent screams.
Goya, Gogol, "Guernica."
That tradition. Roughly what I said in the interview I did within the program for Sunday.
Tremendous fire. I'm with you.
Tremendous fire. It was sort of a furious lyricism one seldom finds in Whitechapel these days. Quite so, quite so.
Yes. It's another cobbler's all that is...
- Ralphie, dear. ...one man responsible...
Ralphie, dear. I've got someone here who's dying to meet you.
Ralphie Rigg must meet Diana Scott.
How do you do? How do you do?
I do so admire your work. Wonderful.
Thank you very much. I'm sure.
Ralphie, come and meet the agents...
Oh, you got here. I'm so glad.
Yes, at last. Don't say that.
He's tremendously talented... Ralphie.
When did you get in? This afternoon.
I'm exhausted. This afternoon?
Yes, naturally, of course.
Look at him. Now do you think he's tremendously talented?
About the job, how did that go?
What job? The job you went to Paris to see about.
Oh! I had to do a test for Raoul Maxim.
He's a tremendous talent, Raoul.
There's no one in England to beat these new French directors.
Yes, I think so. Tremendous.
And you were down well?
Like a dozen oysters. I think.
Taxi! We're not taking a taxi.
Why not? I don't take whores in taxis.
What do you mean? That's what you are, isn't it?
A little whore? Isn't it?
You've been back from Paris two days already.
If you don't want me to find out what you're doing, don't leave your ticket and your passport lying all over the place.
I knew you'd get the wrong end of the story...
Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in a bed at the same time.
You're a whore, baby, that's all.
Just a whore.
And I don't take whores in taxis.
Now what? A pound's not enough.
What do you mean? A pound's not enough!
Now wait a minute... Don't you give me wait a minute!
A pound's not enough! Diana, don't be a...
Don't you "Diana" me! It was kinky before and it's kinky now, and a pound's not enough!
Makes a lot of promises, typical, but when he's at his wife's...
You're not worth more than a bloody quid, anyways.
I'm an honest working girl!
Five bobbing a whore with robe, that's about your bloody mark.
Five bobbing a whore with road?
What were you doing in Paris, anyway? Working!
I hope you got more than five bob that time.
Oh, what you think I did? I wasn't with you, was I?
Fine. Help yourself.
Oh, quelle largesse. I'm impressed.
You bitch, you're a filthy little bitch.
Enjoy yourself. You've got no right to call me anything!
I have every right to call you everything!
Oh, have you? We're not married!
At least not to each other.
I'd never believe anybody ia as trivial and shallow as you could've caused as much pain as you do. Oh, blameless, Gold.
Well, if you really want to know, I've stuck it out just about as long as I can.
Yes, and just about as often as you can.
And you're so faithful and so loving, aren't you?
Look at this place! This rat trap!
I'm not gonna be a prisoner any longer!
So you're the prisoner, are you? Yes!
Prying in my life, looking in my handbag, spying on me! The quickest way of getting to know you.
You never intended to stay here or you'd done something with this place.
Look at it! Books, my God!
I hate books!
Stop that! Oh, that gets to you, doesn't it?
Anybody touching your books!
They matter to you more than anybody!
Oh, what the hell are you doing?
Don't be so melodramatic.
Robert. Where are you going?
Oh, it just all seemed so unnecessary, you know, these dramas.
I couldn't help feeling Robert had been desperately unreasonable about it all.
You know, after all, we were supposed to be adult people.
Well, one just had to take a grip on oneself, that was all.
And I just knew the only possible hope was just to fling oneself absolutely madly into one's work.
It was either that, you know, or the old gas oven.
One, two, and happy.
Happy, bright smile.
That's it, the happiest girl in the world now, come on.
That's it, good. Good.
I want a happy girl. Better.
Brighter. Happiest girl in the world.
Now. Good. Swing your hair around suddenly.
That's it, good. Good. Lovely.
Again. Good. Good, again!
Good, that's it, darling.
Think lovely thoughts. Brighter, come on.
Forget it, we've all been through it.
For Christ's sake, smile, love!
All right, that's it. Go on. Sorry.
Lovely, dear. Marvelous, forget it. It's all right now.
It's all right, it's all good.
Jolly good, jolly good, marvelous. Exquisite.
Come on, drink your booze.
Drink this, love.
Gonna be a happy girl, then?
You're gonna be happy.
'Cause you already are a very pretty girl.
Could we have a look at that again?
Thank you so much. Huh. Yes.
The question is, is she overexposed?
Has the public seen too much of her face?
How can you see too much of this face?
We do get continuity of image.
Good thinking. All:
Buy her, then, do you, Kurt?
You know, she's got a sort of Aryan quality.
I think she'd go down extremely well in Germany.
How about this for the "Happiness Girl," huh?
You must have a look at it.
Yes, for a German territory, I'm happy.
Well, there it is.
We want you to be the Happiness Boy, Kurt.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
Very well, then. We're all agreed.
Diana Scott here inafter known as the "Happiness Girl."
For you. The man who turned the tide at Monte Carlo.
Can I help you, madam?
Yes, do you think I could see some peaches in brandy, please? Certainly, madam. If you'd just come this way.
Have you got a larger size I could see?
Yes, madam. Just wait one moment.
Brandy. Expensive, but I think they look... Far too expensive.
Looks delicious to me.
I am not with you. I have never seen you before in my day.
You're in this up your navel, Paulson.
We can't stay here all day, you know.
Thank you, madam. Oh, no, I did want them in a bottle.
No, thank you very much, indeed.
I think we'll forget it. Thank you, madam.
These look very nice.
Oh! What about these prawns?
They look delicious. Did you see that?
I could've sworn that man was... He was!
Outrageous! Oh, dear.
Oh! Really! How did I get them all?
Ding, shop's open! Ding-a-ling, shop's denuded.
Honestly, you are an outrageous girl, and I would like you to know, dear, that we have only paid for Smoggin's shrimps.
What's that? The "Happiness Girl" contract, already?
Oh, dear. My husband wants a divorce.
My husband, Tony. He wants a divorce.
Well, granted soon as asked, I'm sure.
I hate this flat.
Well, you've got your escargot, then.
Have an avacado strangled with prawns.
Have a bit of smoked salmon stuffed with caviar.
Matured in fine English gin.
For what you are about to see, may the Lord make you truly thankful.
Oh, why is life such a piss pot?
Well, you see, I have your answer to that.
Oh, yes, have you?
It's the bomb, lovey. It must be.
That's right. It's the great big nasty...
Nasty, nasty, bomb.
Let's face it, dear.
Darling, life's a great big steaming mess.
Oh, I love you. No one else does.
Well, no one else does. Oh, poor you.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do with you.
I'm gonna be filming in Italy next month.
Oh, fabulous, my darling.
I'm very glad for you. And if I do, I'm going afterwards on the most wonderful holiday of my life.
And you're coming with me. I am?
We're gonna have a ball!
Have a ball.
Have a ball. Have a ball!
The hell with 'em all! The hell with 'em all!
We'll have a ball! We're having a ball!
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.
♪ Cupids are the chocolates to choose ♪
♪ For the one you love to caress ♪
♪ Chocolates with the fairy tale centers ♪
♪ They're the best. ♪ Yes, there's nothing dreamier than Cupid Chocolates.
Those fairy tale centers take you out of this world into a land of make-believe come true.
♪ Fairy tale chocolates by Cupid. ♪
- Cut it. Cut it!
How was that for you? Not bad, could be better, though.
I'm a bit worried about the caress bit.
Could he caress her this time?
After all, the jingle does say, "The one you love to caress"...
Yeah, yeah. It's talking about the girl.
We'll try it with it this time.
Darling, listen. This time, would you...
Would you let him caress you?
Would you let him touch your cheek?
What? He... I caress... No.
He caresses you. All right?
Oh, please, done. Break it up. Come on, boys. Quiet!
Let's try a take for the prince, shall we?
Afternoon, sir. Hello. How do you do?
Excuse me, don't you think the house would be much, much better seen from this angle here?
Yes, but, you see, it's a question of the light.
Oh. The light.
Scene two, take three.
Action. Yes, there's nothing dreamier than Cupid Chocolates.
Those fairy tale centers take you out of this world into a land of make-believe come true.
As those fairy tale centers melt in the mouth they'll melt the heart of the one you love to caress.
Fairy tale chocolates...
He is the Pope Urban.
One of my father's many ancestors.
Should Popes be ancestors?
Well, the call came late in life.
He was an ancestor before becoming a Pope.
I don't see much resemblance.
He was better looking when he was younger.
Who is she?
My mother. She was very beautiful.
She died. Two years ago.
In a car crash.
Oh, how awful.
Very awful. Here you are.
I've ordered some tea. How marvelous.
Curzio's been giving me some of the family history.
Excuse me, I must go.
I have a long way to drive.
But I hope we will meet again.
I hope so. Good-bye.
Till soon, then. Till soon.
He's a nice boy, Curzio.
Yes, yes, very.
It's so beautiful. I'm glad you like it.
There's nothing like this in England.
Thank you. But you have in England the most beautiful country houses in the world. Have a chocolate.
No, it's different here. There's a sense of... eternity.
Sort of peacefulness.
It's almost religious, if you know what I mean.
Well, seems to make life easier to bear.
But you don't have any problem in bearing the weight of life.
Do you? I don't know about that.
Well, on you, it must weigh very lightly. For me, it's different.
I recently lost someone, too.
Not like you did, but... well, I don't much care to go back to England just now.
You have a family? Not like yours.
Not that supports one, gives one strength.
You have God practically in the family.
Well, you know every man is alone in the last resolve.
And I am more than most men.
Well, perhaps not, in some ways.
Yes, like their mother.
They are, they really are lovely.
Well, now you must excuse me.
I swim with them every day, you know. Oh.
It's a duty which is also pleasure.
Excuse me, will you? Of course. Thank you so much.
I don't think I'd ever in my life needed a holiday quite so much as I did then.
And Capri was ideal.
I just wanted peace and quiet and just to get away from everything, really.
we are not complicating our holiday with any disgusting sexapades.
Brother and sister till death us do part?
Done. Share and share alike.
Everything split down the middle. Absolutely.
Now, tell us what's new in London.
Oh, nothing much.
I'll tell you who I did bump into the other day.
My Robert? The same.
Seemed okay. Alone?
Me or him? Oh, darling.
You think I care who you were with?
Do you care who he was with?
No, not particularly.
What was she like? Blonde, 21, and extremely well-appointed as they say.
It's okay. He was alone.
He was? I swear.
You rotten... Thank you, I know.
And you, Principe, and you.
Oh, my! What a dream!
Oh, it's superb.
I was just thinking how nice it'd be if we could live here.
I could do without sex.
Don't really like it that much.
If I could just feel... complete.
Oh, Mal, let's buy this place. It can't cost much.
It'd be marvelous.
I want it more than anything in the whole world.
Caffè signora? Yes.
Why the harsh words? Harsh word.
One is sufficient. Darling, really.
Brother and sister till death us do part.
Well, I happen to be passing, so I thought why not drop in?
Why not, indeed.
I've been thinking about you a lot.
Oh, that's nice.
And, what you said.
Did I say something?
Yes, about Italy.
How much you like it. Oh, yes, I simply adore it.
Curzio is... very taken with you, you know?
Well, he's very young.
He recognizes a certain... quality in you.
I expect he'll get over it.
I don't think so.
He was very much in favor of my coming here.
As a matter of fact, he persuaded me to come.
Why? I'm afraid I don't understand.
To propose to you.
But, why couldn't he have proposed himself?
I mean, it's all ridiculously childish, but...
Curzio approved that I should propose to you since... it is I who wishes to marry you.
Oh, I see.
There is no point in not saying what is in one's heart.
No, really, Principe.
I'm staying here until tomorrow.
Will you think it over?
I thought about it all last night.
I hardly slept at all, Cesare, thinking.
I know I can't... I can't give up my life.
Well, if you ever change your mind, I shall not have changed mine.
I'm very sorry I gave you a sleepless night.
I, too, had one. Good-bye.
♪ Out of the dead sea Roma. ♪
When they bury Walter Southgate tomorrow, there will be buried with him something of the regional tradition of English literature.
Now-a-days it is London which more and more devours the talents.
London. That damn jam factory boiling out the goodness from writers.
As Southgate once said to me.
A certain flinty integrity has gone.
And that's all from us for this week.
We'll be back with you again with another program in a fortnight's time. Till then, good night.
♪...someone who cares ♪
♪ About you, come what may ♪
♪ When you fail ♪
♪ Every time you try ♪
♪ You need someone ♪
♪ To help you get on by ♪
♪ Someone to talk to ♪
♪ Someone to love you ♪
♪ Someone who walks beside you for the way ♪
♪ Someone to talk to, baby ♪
♪ Someone to talk to, baby ♪
♪ Someone who needs you just like me ♪
♪ And the one ♪
♪ Who will end up tired ♪
♪ Yes, I'm the one ♪
♪ Who wants to hold your hand ♪
♪ Someone to talk to ♪
♪ Someone who wants you ♪
♪ Someone to love you more and more each day... ♪
♪ Someone to talk to, baby ♪
♪ Someone to talk to, baby ♪
♪ Someone who needs you just like me ♪
♪ And the one ♪
♪ Who will understand ♪
♪ Yes, I'm the one ♪
♪ Who wants to hold your hand ♪
♪ Someone to talk to ♪
♪ Someone who wants you ♪
♪ Someone who loves you more and more each day... ♪ - Well... where did all the young flowers go?
♪...someone to talk to, baby ♪
♪ Someone to talk to, baby. ♪
I wondered if you knew Southgate had died.
What's going on?
I think you better go.
Get out of here, will you?!
Just get out of here!
I thought you'd gone, too.
You bastard. You really are, aren't you?
Would you like some tea?
Tea? To calm you down.
You seem a bit hysterical.
I asked you to go. Why haven't you?
'Cause I've stayed.
What is it? Nothing.
You're afraid of something?
I get the feeling you're afraid of something.
I didn't ask you to leave Robert, you know.
You never ask me to do anything.
As long as you realize.
As long as you realize I just hate your guts.
As long as you realize Robert's the only person I ever remotely loved.
As long as you realize that!
When you've finished.
As long as you are convinced you don't have to persuade me, my darling.
You afraid I'll kill myself?
Has that ever happened to you?
Who was she, Miles?
Put away your Penguin Freud, Diana.
Who was she?
And your crystal ball.
You can't risk feeling anything, can you?
I shall survive. Of course.
As long as you remain impotent.
My impotence, my darling, makes a pair with your virginity.
Impotent in every way except in bed.
Don't underestimate me, my dear.
I can also be very effective on the telephone.
I'll say good night.
Life's full of "if onlys," isn't it?
You know, if only, if only.
If only Robert had come a half an hour later I suppose the whole thing might have been completely different.
I... I sort of felt it wasn't any good, you know, but I just had to go and try and find him again.
I remember thinking, "I bet he'll be at that funeral."
The days of man are but as grass, but he flourishes as a flower of the field.
For as soon as the wind goeth over it, it is gone, and the place thereof shall know it no more.
We commend unto thine hands of mercy, most merciful Father, the soul of this, our brother Walter Southgate departed.
Where we commit his body to the ground.
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
In the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, who shall change the body of our low estate that it be like unto his glorious body...
Miss Scott? Yes?
Leslie Page, "Evening Standard." Oh, yes.
I didn't know you knew Walter Southgate, Miss Scott.
Oh, yes. We were considerable friends, actually.
When was this? Oh... about two years ago.
He found out how much I admired his work and, sweet man, he invited me around to see him.
Which was your favorite book?
Oh, all of them.
As a matter of fact, I may be filming one of his books in Paris.
Really? Yes, I'm talking to Raoul Maxim, you know, French film director.
Hello? - Diana?
Robert? Who's Robert?
Who is tha... Malcolm? Is that you?
I rang to congratulate you.
I just read the paper about the film.
Who is that?
That is Diana Scott, isn't it?
Yes, it is. Will you tell me who's speaking, please?
I wish I was Robert, whoever he is.
Please, who is that speaking?
Oh, come on, now.
We met a couple times at a party.
For God's sakes, who is it?!
I wanted to say it was Bud Shorts and all that jazz... For Christ's sakes, stop mucking around, tell me who's speaking!
Oh, I just felt I had absolutely no one to turn to.
No one to turn to, nothing to fall back on, you know.
Then suddenly there was someone who really understood.
Who really cared about me.
Didn't want anything out of me.
He was so terribly understanding, Father Chapman.
Do you know him? He's Monsignor Chapman now.
Oh, he's a terrible sweetie. Terribly human.
I suppose I've always believed in God.
Just has to be a god, doesn't there?
You know, somebody who understands.
Just has to be.
I really took it very seriously, you know.
I knew I couldn't go ahead with my marriage unless I was really serious about it.
It isn't every day that we have a new English princess.
But it happened last week at the ancient home of the Prince Cesare della Romita when our own Diana Scott became the bride of this famous Italian prince and bobsleigh enthusiast.
Everyone was there. Old family friends, the people from the estate.
And, my goodness, how happy they were to find themselves with a mistress again.
The prince, who stems from one of Italy's oldest families, has been married before and has seven children.
It isn't every princess who finds herself the mother of seven on her wedding day.
Simple family meals are something the princess is determined to maintain.
She intends to supervise all of the family cooking and she's a regular and welcome visitor to the kitchens.
The princess has always loved country life.
She herself comes from Sussex.
And she and the prince aim to spend plenty of time in the open air.
The princess hopes to be a friend to all sorts and conditions of men.
Not least those less fortunate and less gifted than herself.
Princess Diana is radiantly confident that she can make a real and meaningful contribution to her new family and to her new country.
We wish auguri, "good wishes," in her new language, to a new Italian princess, who will, to us, always remain a British one as well.
Are you all right, my darling? I'm fine.
Have you understood what I said to Palucci?
Well, I'm sorry, but I must go to Rome.
The bank meeting is tomorrow morning.
Oh, tonight. I go and see my mother.
You know I must go and see my mother.
Yes. Next time you must come with me.
But just now Rome is not amusing.
Yes, I know. If you need anything, Palucci will...
It's all right. I have plenty to do.
Look, I'll be back on Thursday... probably Friday.
So take care of yourself.
Good night. Good night, signora.
I'll send the car for you at 12:00.
Enjoy yourselves. Thank you.
My husband's mother. Yes, Principessa.
Have you her phone number?
Principessa, the instrument was removed some years ago, Principessa.
So my husband is not obtainable at all tonight, then?
One could send a telegram, Principessa.
That's the only means whereby you can get in contact?
That is so, Principessa.
Thank you, Signor Palucci. Principessa.
Are you a resident in this country?
No, in Italy. Well, have you bought any presents while you've been abroad? No, nothing at all. Just personal luggage.
No perfume? No, no nothing at all.
You realize that perfume is dutiable?
Yes, well... I haven't got any with me, anyway.
No, no, it's just all personal.
You bought nothing at all? No cigarettes? No spirits?
Nothing to declare.
Will Mr. Harry Hall please contact the General Inquiry desk. Mr. Harry Hall.
May I have your attention, please...
I didn't know whether you'd come.
I was always easily seduced.
Specially by telegrams.
I hoped you would be.
You look older.
Come on, I hate to stand here.
Is it some miracle?
We're still a couple.
I thought maybe after all this time, something would've changed.
Thank God it's never too late.
Two people really belong to each other, doesn't matter what happens.
This time, darling, let's get somewhere in the country.
Away from all this London racket.
Somewhere quiet where you can write.
We both learned our lesson and won't make any more mistakes.
I know we can be so happy.
We're not going back to anything, you know.
This was just for old times' sake.
- Reception. Porter, please.
One moment, sir.
What you doing? Porter, will you get on to London Airport and reserve me one seat on any flight this afternoon to Rome?
That's right? What the hell are you doing?
Princess della Romita. - Would you spell it, please?
R-O-M... Robert, put down that phone!
Give me that phone... what are you doing? Stop it!
You are going back to Rome. I'm not going back to Rome...
You're going! I'm cancelling. Give me that phone!
And get dressed.
You just used me!
You used me. It's a moot point.
Now get dressed.
My God, I hate you.
It's not true, Robert. I love you.
You know I love you. What are you doing, Robert? Please, please.
I've come all this way... Get dressed and I'll take you to the airport.
Robert! I've come all this way 'cause I love you.
Don't throw it away. I need you.
Please... Will you get dressed?
Robert. Just give us one more chance.
I beg of you.
Let's spend a week together. It won't hurt to try a week!
I don't have a week.
I don't see how you can throw away something that meant so much to us.
It doesn't put me off, you know.
Being vile to me, it doesn't put me off.
It puts me off.
Disgusts me. What does?
To hear myself.
To hear the way I want to treat you.
I won't feel this a moment longer than I have to.
We can't just go like this.
You'd be surprised.
You're in love with someone else.
Is that it? No.
You've gone back with your wife.
No, on the contrary, she wants to divorce me.
She found someone else she wants to marry.
Well? Now isn't that good news?
But if there isn't anyone else, what are you going to do?
Why you just going to... I'm going to a small American university.
I shall read, I shall lecture.
You'll hate it. I shall like it. It's what I want to do.
I shall write. What'll you write about?
I'll write about you, about myself, about my wife and my children.
They played quite large parts, you know.
I played the largest part.
Certainly the most dramatic.
Robert, stop the car. No.
I won't go to Rome. You're going to Rome.
I'll kill myself. Then kill yourself.
I will, I swear I will! So do.
I didn't say I wanted to go with you!
If I can't be with you, I don't want to be alive.
Like hell. It's true!
All your lies are true at the time.
My suitcase, in the back.
Announcing the arrival of Richard Cesare Ways Flight 262 from Lagos and Frankfurt.
What actually is the purpose of your visit here?
Don't know how you even found out I was in England.
Any special reason?
My mother hasn't been very well. I came up to see her.
No other reason?
Isn't one's mother enough reason?
I see. Are you, happy in Italy, Principessa?
I'm as happy as anyone could possibly be.
Are you... likely to resume your career soon, Principessa?
I have a family now, and that gives me all I could possibly want.