Dazed and Confused (1993) Script

I've got your final tests here.

Everybody did pretty well. Uh, I'm gonna call your — I'm headed this way. Oh.

Later. So, what did we decide?

About what? About tonight.

Oh, uh, look, I'll probably get, you know, hung up with the guys maybe, you know, later.

Why don't we just meet at the party? All right.

Wouldn't want you waitin' around for me all night anyway. All right. Whatever.

Cool. I'll see ya later? Bye.

Bye.

Slater-san. Hey, man.

How's it goin'? Fixin' to be a lot better, man.

What time is your party tonight, man? 9:30, man.

9:30. Hmm.

Okay. Um, I'll be there, man.

Slater, alligator.

Wait, wait. I gotta cruise by this afternoon... on a little business, if you know what I'm talkin' about, so —

- That's what you're talkin' about. That's what I'm talkin' about, man.

Oh, man, I'm fuckin' wasted.

Walkin' down the hall by myself.

Smokin' a "J" with 50 elves.

Later. Woodward. Bernstein.

Guess that makes you Deep Throat.

So, is this a smoked or a liquid lunch? Hey.

Smoked, right?

So, guys, are we gonna play poker tonight? Count me out.

Sure. Uh, I'll probably be going to Pickford's party later, okay? So — No. We should do somethin' like that. Yeah.

Goodwin's on his senior trip. We can play poker anytime. Go to a party?

"Go to a p —"? Come on. Come on.

Mike. Cynthia. It's under control.

I don't feel comfortable at those kinds of things. Pick us up at 8:00.

Okay. All right. It's gonna be all right.

Guess we're going to the party. Okay. All right.

Oh, Mike. I gotta tell you about this dream I had last night.

Oh, yeah? Why's that? But, um... you gotta promise not to tell anyone. Yeah, sure.

No. Say, "I promise." Jesus.

I promise not to tell anyone. Okay, thank you.

Um, well — Okay, there I am, and I'm gettin' it on — you know, with what had this perfect female body.

Uh-huh.

But — What? What? What? Um, I can't say.

Come on, man. You can't give a buildup like that and not deliver.

I mean, come on. A perfect female body. It's not a bad start.

But the head of Abraham Lincoln.

Ah. I mean, the hat and the beard.

Oh, well. Best not think too deeply on this one, right?

Best not. Um, I gotta get some stuff from Mr. Birchfield.

Uh, see you in a few minutes. I understand. Right. I'm sorry.

Gilligan's transistor radio mouth. Yeah. That was a good one.

Hey. What about that one where that sexy surfer guy catches that huge wave and lands on the island?

- Oh, yeah! Do you remember that? "Sexy surfer guy."

- The Mosquitoes. Do you remember that? Pink, let's go.

- Come on. They were a rock group. Ginger and Mary Ann formed their own group — Look, man. I can't go yet until Miss Wilk gets here.

So why don't you go get Benny and check me out on the way back, okay? All right.

What? Coach gave me something to give to you.

- They're really doing this. Yeah.

He wants them all back by the end of the day too. Can you believe that one?

And everybody's signing it? Just to get him off our back.

The coaches are just being fucking assholes. Know what I'm saying?

I mean, you sign it, you never think about it again. Just let it go.

You're gonna make a big deal out of this, aren't you?

You — You're gettin' air from there, man. It's no good. You see this?

It's gotta be tight.

You're gonna have to put some gum around the base of that to get a good hit.

Slate.

Benny. Psst.

- Man, I ain't believin' that shit — Two minutes. about Bonham's one-hour drum solo.

One hour of drums? You couldn't handle that shit on strong acid, man.

Okay.

Okay. We're gonna go to the bathroom.

Could you guys let Miss Wilks know?

All right. This is totally amazing.

"I voluntarily agree to not indulge in any alcohol, drugs...

"or engage in any other illegal activity...

"that may in any way jeopardize the years of hard work... we as a team have committed to our goal of a championship season in '76."

What bullshit. The guys are actually signing this crap?

Apparently. God, what are they gonna do next?

Like, give you guys urine tests or something? I didn't know that drugs and alcohol... were such a big problem that they had to resort to neo-McCarthyism.

I think they're just afraid some of us might be having too good a time.

It's the old age suppressing youth thing, you know.

"Neo-McCarthyism." I like that. Oh, that's good, Tony.

And there you guys were in class trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes... without even a hint of irony.

What in the hell are you talking about, girl?

- You weren't thinking about it, were you? Gilligan's Island?

It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy.

Oh, my — Think about it.

You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women.

One, a seductive sex goddess type.

The other, a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt.

So guys have it all. The Madonna and the whore.

Women get nothing.

We get a geek, an overweight middle-age guy... some nerdy scientific type.

- I mean — The professor is sexy.

Pink, come on, man.

We're off to raise some hell. Look at that. Look at that!

- Guys. Look at —

- All right. Let's go kick some ass. Hey, you guys.

You guys, wait up. What?

Benny. What?

I have a favor to ask ya. What do you need?

Take it easy on my brother this summer, okay?

All of you. Mitch Kramer?

Yeah. Mitch Kramer. Yeah.

I'm gonna give him a beating he'll never forget. Ow!

Well, just don't get him more than the other guys. Any of you.

Kind of little. All right? Got our word, sis.

Little brother'll be okay. Thanks. See you guys.

Ow!

Benny!

- These guys. I don't know. Oh, you love it.

Oh, there's just a little bit of bullshit in all that, right?

Major bullshit. He's a dead man. He's fuckin' dead.

Shotgun! Shotgun!

Check it out, boys, huh? I've been waitin' three long years for this one.

- Oh, yeah. Those junior high kids are dead meat. I promise you.

Beat 'em! Oh, man. Oh, yeah.

Okay, all you freshman fucks. Listen up.

It's your lucky day. Usually you'd be spending your freshman summer getting your asses busted... and running for your worthless little lives... but this year, because we feel so sorry for you... we're gonna take it easy on you... and save us all a lot of time.

So, if you meet here — right here — after school today... you only get one lick from each of us.

But you run like cowards — well, it's open season all summer long, boys.

Oh, yeah. Mitch Kramer?

Mitchy. Mitchy, Mitchy, Mitchy.

We're looking for you, pal.

Your ass will be purple before the day is over.

Have a nice afternoon.

You better get out of town.

Go spend the summer with your grandparents or somethin'.

Hey, man. You are gonna show up to our game tonight, aren't you?

Yeah. I'm pitching. I kind of have to.

How should we inscribe your tombstone?

How about "Ben Over"?

Yeah, right, pissant. Why aren't they after anybody else?

They are, man. Believe me.

I know, man.

Come on, Mel. Hop on. Let's go, boy.

Oh, shit.

Hey, Coach.

So, tell me.

Any of you girls gonna be ready to play some football this fall?

Oh, yeah. I don't know, Coach.

You know, uh, I been doing so good in English classes, you know...

I figured I'd take next fall off and become a writer.

What do you think about that, huh?

Boy, you wouldn't know how to write your name if it wasn't stenciled on your locker.

No, seriously. Everybody. Now, don't go getting soft on me this summer.

You know, you're sitting around the pool all day, chasing the muff around.

Break down!

Hell, man. My grandmother's quicker and tougher than you pansies.

Of course, she's 6'3", 250.

Runs a 4.5 40.

What's the matter with you, Floyd?

What, quarterbacks don't have to do what their coaches say? Is that it?

Dawson, did you give him that pledge sheet? Huh?

- The pledge sheet. You give it to him? Yeah, Coach. It's right here.

Randy, if you could get that back to us by the end of the day, we'd feel a lot better about it.

You guys see that he does this, okay? All right, Coach.

See ya, Coach.

Randy Floyd. Aw, shit.

Before next fall, you're in need of a serious attitude adjustment, young man.

You better get your priorities straight.

And watch out with that other crowd you're runnin' with. Don't think I haven't noticed.

- Hey! Uh-oh, Pink.

I want that piece of paper on my desk before you leave here today. Do you hear me?

Get an attitude adjustment. You know what I mean?

Priorities straight, buddy. Runs with a bad crowd.

Bad people. Watch yourself.

Yeah, well, I've got Coach's and everybody else's attitude-adjusted priorities... right here.

Yeah, that's good, Pink. Yeah.

Oh! Did you know O'Bannion flunked?

Yeah. What a dumb-shit.

Whoo! Y'all ready to bust some ass?

What's up, Don? Benny. Melvin. Hey.

See ya later. Good to see ya.

Yeah.

Hey. We gotta take your truck. I'm low on gas. All right?

We need to take my truck? Yeah. Okay?

Yeah. Good.

What are you doing? Picking up trash? What? What?

Man, I was just waiting for one of them idiot coaches to piss me off again.

I think you take the whole thing a little too personal.

I think you just gotta — You gotta shake it off.

Don, have you ever thought about why we play football?

I mean, how many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player, huh?

I don't know. A few probably.

A few? Don, all I'm saying is that...

I bet we could do just as well if we were in a band or somethin'.

Well, I gotta put in a final appearance. So — Wait a minute. Who you got goin' in there? Shh.

Vicky. Vicky!

Come on. Let's skip out. Let's go get naked right now. Let's go.

Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

- Mr. Dawson. Yeah.

Why don't you take it somewhere else?

Oh, Mr. Floyd. Are you gracing us with your presence today?

Uh, might as well.

You know, Ginny, I was thinking maybe you and I can get together over the summer.

It'll be legal. We could make things happen. I'll keep it mum's the word.

I promise. I swear to you.

At the party tonight, I heard there's gonna be a girl with knockers this big.

Bullshit. Promise. Two handfuls. Shut up, Carl.

No way. Yes.

Uh-uh. Hey. Psst. Hey.

Pentico got his brother's car. Let's go.

Cool, man. Cool.

Go talk to him. I'm not going alone.

Come on. Come on. Ask him.

Uh, Mr. Payne, sir... you know, every second that you could let us out early... would really increase our chances of survival.

It's like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle.

"Men!

Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of ya ain't comin' back."

Okay.

You know, the '68 Democratic Convention... was probably the most bitchin' time I ever had in my life.

Hey, guys. One more thing. Hey. This summer... when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth of July brouhaha... don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact... that a bunch of slave-owning aristocratic white males... didn't want to pay their taxes.

Yeah! Have a good summer.


Hey. Over there. Let's get 'em.

Hey! No cutting.

Hey. Hey, hey.

Hey!

Run, man!

Jump in. Come on. We gotta go.

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Whoo! Hurry up, Hirshfelder. We're gonna leave your ass.

Sorry, man. Come on. Let's go. Come on.

- Whoa. Back it up. Back it up. Oh, shit!

Whoo-ee! Ducks on the pond. How you doin', boys?

Whoo!

Wake up, bitch. Wake up.

Open. Open. Hey, hey. Open.

Okay. Open wide.

Open wide.

- Open. Yeah. What do you think?

All right. We got 'em.

Hey, you. Come here.

You.

Who are you? Uh, nobody.

I mean, I wasn't in the truck.

Are you a freshman? Yeah.

Well, are you in, or are you out?

In. Let's go.

Come on! Let's go!

Go! Come on! Hurry up!

Oh, man. We're screwed!

Pentico, lose them. I'm tryin', man!

Whoo!

Let's go! Come on! Who you fuckin' with?

Come on! Come on! Go, go, go, go! Drive! Drive this piece of shit!

Shut up, man. Here they come.

Fucking turn!

Oh, shit!

Come on! Let's go! Whoo!

Oh, shit! Here they come!

I think we really pissed them off, man. Just drop me off at my house.

Are you still with me? Yeah. I guess.

This is my house. They're slowing down.

You get out and get 'em. You get out.

Good luck, man. Be there tonight. All right.

All right. I'll catch up with you guys later. Go, go, go.

Oh, shit. Oh, nice try, freshmen.

Tell you what. Just for being such brave little kids...

I'm only gonna give each of ya five licks, okay?

All right. Grab a pole then, kids. Let's get goin'.

I don't think so, creep.

Mom!

Carl, get in the house. Get in the house!

And you — Get the hell off my property.

Oh. Well, I'm sorry, ma'am. I was just escorting your fine young son home from school.

There's — There were some ruffians about, and I — Oh, and, uh, Mitch, Carl.

We'll be seeing each other again.

Oh, that's it. I fuckin' saw that, you little sack of shit. You two are fuckin' dead!

You hear me? You're fuckin' dead!

Excuse me. Thank you.

All right, you little freshman bitches.

Air raid!

That was pathetic!

You guys are crumbs!

Let's try it again! That means get up, you lazy little bitches. Get up!

You heard her!

Air raid!

That was horrible, you little slut girls. You little freshman sluts. Get up!

Get up! Up! Up! Up!

Air raid!

What's fascinating is the way not only the school... but the entire community seems to be supporting this — or at least turn their heads.

They apparently have permission to use the parking lot. Right.

No parents seem to mind. You know. They're selling concessions.

I mean — I know.

The seniors, we tried. We — We gave you all a chance.

But since you little prick-teases can't follow instructions... we're just gonna have to try something else, won't we?

Seniors — You love us. Smile. You love us.

Turn over.

Suffer, sisters!

Suffer!

Whoo!

Eat it! Open wide!

Open wide! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Yes! Whoo!

Love it, girls. Love it!

Gorgeous babies.

Welcome to high school, honey.

- You love it, honey. You little bitch!

Go!

Propose to Mr. Dawson.

You idiot.

Will you marry me? Don't know. What's in it for me?

- Suck on it harder. Anything you want.

Anything? Anything.

Go like this.

Do you spit or swallow? Oh — Whatever you I-like.

Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.

- That is so degrading. Let's go.

- You're an asshole. Yes, I am.

That's terrible, man. It's horrible.

Aha!

I just want you guys to know I feel for you, man.

I did it when I was a freshman, and you'll do it when you're a senior.

But you're doing great. Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies!

Fry! Fry!

- Hi. Hi.

- Hello there. I would like for you to propose to Tony.

Oh, God.

On your knees.

Will you marry me?

What am I supposed to say here? I — I don't know.

Um, what'll you do for me, huh?

Um, anything you want.

Imagine the possibilities. Oh, Jesus.

No, seriously, you can stand up.

Um, what's your name? Sabrina.

I'm Tony. Hi.

Anthony actually. Sorry.

This is Mike. Hey.

We were just discussing the utter stupidity of these initiation rituals... and we were — we're kind of wondering why someone like you... would subject yourself to the losing end of it all.

What are we having? Social hour over here?

I'm supposed to be being a bitch. Back to the pit.

All right, kiddo.

It's almost over. Don't worry about it. So, uh, am I mistaken... or was there a little unspoken thing going on with that young vixen?

You stud. You know how it is.

I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her. I bet she is.

Okay, girlies! It's hot out here, and I'm really sick of looking at all of you.

So let's just — Let's get out of here.

What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch.

Let's go! Get in the truck!

Get in the truck! Come on!

You know, maybe if you ever left the poker table — Maybe if I ever left the poker table? What about you?

Whatever. I mean, the point is, that's why we're going out tonight. You know?

Who knows? You might experience something a little more tangible than an Abraham Lincoln dream.

That's, like, a hairline fracture right there. Shit.

What's that about? What'd you do? I wouldn't doubt it.

My boy Benny was wearing their asses out, boy!

Shit. I just gave him a little beating he'll never forget.

Here's to ya, Ma.

That's your fucking mother.

Say, man. Fuck the coaches, man. Just do it for us, man.

You picked this thing up? Yeah. You know.

Hey. What are you doin'?

He ain't doin' shit now. What?

Got any more details of my life you got figured out you can let me in on, Ben?

Lots of details.

Hey, O'Bannion, what are you doing? What's happening?

Oh, you didn't hear, did you?

What? Didn't hear I got a shotgun pulled on my ass?

No way! Swear to God.

Oh, my God!

Ow. Freezing!

Hey, Mrs. Pickford.

Hi, guys. You here to see Kevin?

No. Actually, we came here to see you. Oh.

Bet you're glad school's out, aren't you? Yeah. We got our report cards today.

How did you do? Straight A's.

Both of you? Yeah.

Big trip, huh? We're going away for the weekend.

Oh, you're taking Kev with ya, huh? No. He's staying here.

Oh. Oh, he is. Oh.

Thanks. Go on in. He's up there somewhere.

Let's get together sometime. All right? Yeah. That'd be fun.

All right. Be lots of fun.

Yeah. What do you do? I mean, for fun.

Usually just hang out with the girls. You know, drive around. That kind of stuff.

There's a big party tonight. It should be really great.

Oh. So — Do you want to come? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. That'd be fun.

Cool. Think it'll be all right? It'll be fine.

Great. We'll pick you up at about 8:30. Okay. Cool.

See you then. Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye.

All right. Let's go. We gotta get ready.

Sample of the goods.

Fifteen bucks.

Can you spot me 10? Hmm?

I'll pay you, like, Tuesday and shit.

Thank you.

"Shebanga." Who is it?

- Kevin, I think you need to come out here a minute. Hide the shit.

Oh, man. It reeks in here. Shit.

Slater, get up.

Kevin, there's someone out here who says he needs to talk to you.

Here. What about?

Go get the door man. Here.

- Slater, lose it. Kevin, open the door.

- Quick! Lose it, man. Damn.

Hey, Dad, Ma. What's up?

Did you order some kegs of beer? No.

Well, there's a fella in a beer truck out on the street that says you did.

- Oh, really? Yeah.

Just a sec.

Shit.

That guy said I ordered a keg of beer? Yeah.

He said it was to be delivered to the Pickford residence.

This address? This address.

That's kind of funny. Why don't I go out there and see what's goin' on?

Yeah. I think you better.

I'll be right back.

You guys know anything about a party here tonight?

No, sir. No.

Hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Hey, man.

Aren't you a little bit early? Uh — Yeah. About an hour and a half.

But, see, I wanted to get here early, see if anyone's here.

I got this little action happening tonight, man, if you know what I mean. So I guess you got the wrong house.

Oh.

Yeah. Inconvenience for you. I'm sorry. Uh, wrong Mr. Pickford all together.

Hey. These things happen. Don't worry about it, Ben.

Yeah.

Were you going to have a party here tonight, Son?

I don't know what that was all about.

Start unpacking. We're not goin' anywhere.

Frank —

- Fucker! Frank —


Oh, look out! Look out! Look out! Aaah!

Hey, batter, batter, batter, swing!

Strike two!

Time.

Kramer, one more pitch. You better get this kid out or we're really gonna beat your ass.

We're gonna beat you like a running mule.

Hey, man. Forget about those guys. Let's just get this last guy out, okay?

Easy for your ass to say.

- Hey, man. There's nothing you can do about it. I'll beat you too.

How'd they all know I was gonna be here? Hey, Kramer!

Quit stallin'! Let's go, baby! We're waiting for you!

I hope you got more than a jockstrap under there, you little rat!

Just because you're not gonna be able to sit down for the rest of the summer, don't let it affect your concentration.

Up yours. Hey, Mitch.

Could you do the rest of us a favor and leave through the gate in right field?

That'll draw them all out of here.

I mean, they're gonna get you anyway.

Yeah. Get out of here.

- Who are you, buddy? What are you looking at? Keep your head in the game. Concentrate!

Strike three! Ball game!

Good game. Good game. Good game. Good game. Good game.

- Yeah, right. Right. Yeah. Right. Good game. Good game.

Yeah, right. Good game. Good game, man. Good game.

Oh, yeah. Good game. Good game.

Way to go, buddy. Way to go.

Way to go.

Come here, man!

Mitchy.

Oh, what happened to your buds? Aw, you're all alone.

Hey, Mi — Oh. Oh.

Hey, Mitch. Mitch! Hey! Kramer.

How's your dad doing? Uh, he's doing great.

This arm ready to throw about 2,000 yards next fall?

Oh. I don't know. We'll see.

We're depending on you boys.

And let me tell you what. You're looking good.

Thirteen starters coming back. Twenty-two lettermen.

Lookin' tough. Yeah.

Well, uh, you folks take care. Okay. Good to see you, Randy.


Whoa!

Oh, God! You know that hurt! You know that hurt him, man.

What's goin' on here? Oh, Pink, man. You missed it. Whoo!

What's up, buddy? Where you guys headed off to now?

We're going up to the Emporium. Gonna join us? Yeah. See you up there.

You should sign my paddle later.

I gotta get seconds with him. Wait, wait, wait.

This is just too slick. You next, Pink?

Sure. All right. Say, you already got the kid.

All right. Fuck it. You know what? I'm gonna go find your little skinny partner Carl... and his mom, and let me tell you something, I took it easy on you.

All right? Yeah. You're not smiling now, are you? You little sack of shit.

Huh? Huh?

Benny, Don. Say, man.

Bummer about Pickford's party, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. His old man found out. Total rip-off, man.

Hey, man. You know, us — We got a few sixers. You with us?

Uh, yeah. I gotta go home and change. I'll catch up with you, okay?

All right. See you later. Hey, kid. Take care of that butt.

Say, guys. Hold up.

You need a ride?

Yeah. Uh...

I think they left me.

Here you go, man.

Yeah, there's always one senior who has to be the badass.

I think O'Bannion's gonna be the first senior in history to take that honor two years in a row.

Guy's a dick. Right?

Yeah. He's, uh, kind of a joke.

He's not a bad guy to have on your side, though, blocking for ya.

Yeah.

Did you get it bad when you were a freshman?

Shit, man. Aw.

They waited for my ass after baseball practice and got me.

God, it was vicious.

I mean, actually, it is best to get a lot at once, you know...

'cause after about 10 licks, your ass gets so numb, you might as well get it over with.

I had some pretty cool seniors though, you know.

They'd take you out and bust the hell out of you and then... go get you drunk.

You know, stuff like that. Cool.

Thanks, man. Yeah. Take care, man.

Uh, hey, man. Uh, look. Since the party's not goin' on... me and some of the other guys will probably end up just riding around.

You want us to stop by and pick you up?

- Well, do you think that's a good idea? Oh, yeah. Sure, man. No problem.

Even after you've gotten it bad, the guys who haven't got you yet will give you a few days to rest.

It, uh — It'd be a pretty cool move to show up and let 'em know it doesn't bother you that much.

Yeah, okay. Cool.

- See you later? Yeah. Sure. Thanks for the ride, man.

Hey, man. Uh, put some ice on it for a while.

After that it won't be anything a few beers can't take care of.


Like, what did she say? I'm just interested.

I think it's funny. What did she call me?

You hang out with her. You know it. We know they talk about us. Just tell us.

Nothing. We don't care.

Oh, come on. Nothing. That's a lie when you do that. I know you're lying, you bitch.

I know you're lying. You're not gonna get mad?

I'm not gonna get mad. I think it's a riot. I don't care what she thinks.

All right. She called you a bitch and you a slut.

A slut? She called me a slut? That bitch. I can't — Everybody calls you a slut. Shavonne!

Oh, shit! Oh, that bitch. I'm gonna kick her ass.

I can't believe that. What a bitch.

I thought you said you weren't gonna get mad. I'm not mad.

Look. I got a confession to make. What do you mean a confession?

For the, like, last year or so I've been talking about going to law school... so I can be an A.C.L.U. lawyer and be in a position to help people who are getting fucked over.

Uh-huh. Well, I was standing in line at the post office yesterday, you know.

And I'm looking around. And everybody's looking really pathetic.

You know what I mean? I mean, like, people had — like, got drool just sort of — Then this guy's bending over. You could see the crack of his — Aw! It was, like, wife beaters. It was — Anyway, it was — And I realized I just don't want to do it. You know what I mean?

It sounds good, but I have to confront the fact that I don't like the people I've been talking about helping out.

You know what I'm — I don't think I like people, period. You guys are okay.

I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope.

So you're not gonna go to law school?

What do you want to do then?

I want to dance.

All right. Let's rock and roll.

Hey. Hop in, man.

Hey, man. Whose car?

You know Wooderson? How's it goin', man?

Hey. Pretty good. How's it goin' with you?

Say, man. You got a joint?

Uh, no. Not on me, man.

It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

All right, all right, all right.

Hey, man. You still driving in to Houston in the morning to get those Aerosmith tickets?

Ooh, you're damn right.

Evenin', ladies. Ow! Nice.

Need me to pick you up a couple? Yeah. Two.

Cool.

Hey, man. You sure I'm okay in here? Yeah, man. You'll be okay.

Look. If anyone starts messing with you, just play it cool.


One to go.

"Prickford."

"Wood-a-been." Happening?

It's a bummer about your party, man.

What can I say? It's beyond me. The delivery guy bricked.

And it's a — Keep your eye on the ball — dead issue!

Hey, man. How's it going? Good. What's goin' on?

Nothin'. Not much?

Nothing at all. Hey.

Hey. Hey, uh, you know Mitch?

Oh, yeah. I think I just heard about you. Really? What'd you hear?

I don't know, man. Are you okay? Oh. Yeah.

Oh. I guess I'll see you guys a little later.

Okay. Talk to you later. Okay. See you.

Hey, man. What grade's she in?

Sophomore.

Come on. Come on. All right.

Hurry up. Go. We gotta hurry though.

Check this out. Double-barreled purple coming in on Sunday. Donny.

I got a big surprise for you. After I make this shot.

Oh, God. Hold onto this. Tight. Lookin' good.

Yeah. Yeah.

Whoa! Gene!

Nice tongue!

Who painted 'em? Mostly Michelle.

Ah!

Hey. I got an idea. What?

- A beer bust later on. Hey, man.

Pickford's got a doob we're about to burn. Are you with us?

Think about it. Yeah.

Are you cool, man?

Like how?

Okay.

Hey, man. Wait up.

He was just asking if you get high.

Yeah. Like, smoke pot? Yeah.

Oh. I never have before, but, you know.

Where you goin'? Mike. Mike. Where you goin'?

Where you goin'? I — You knock.

Just —

I — No.

Crank it up!

Look out!

Later.

Hi there.

Great.

Here you go.

Hey. It's the chicks. Shavonne still thinks she's mad at me.

Watch me get a little something going right here. Hey. What's going on?

- What are you guys up to? Oh, a little weed. You know.

- There may be a beer bust later on. Oh, really?

- Yeah. Cool.

- Guess we'll see you around. All right. Check you later.

Bye. Later.

Slater, man, why are you always such a dork, man?

What are you talkin' about? "Check you later." "Check you later."

Hey, man. Get off my case, man.

Oh, man. Chicks don't want to hear that shit.

Well, they don't want to hear anything, man.

The g — The girls, man, in our classes — They're all prudes, man.

They're worthless little bitches, man. Oh, my God — It's the girls ahead of us. They were wild. Our class is just worthless.

Maybe you've just never gotten past the sniffing butt stage. That's what that sounds like to me.

Hey, man. It's — It's quality, not quantity. All right, man?

And — And wait till I get to college, man. I can't wait to get to college, man.

Yeah. When I get to college, all I'm gonna do is bang, bang, bang, bang.


Hey, Hirshfelder. Let's go. Come on.

Yeah. Let's go. Let's get out of here.

- Let's go. Come on, man!

What? It's time to leave.

I'll be right back.

Hey. You boys leave, you can't come back.

Aw, gee. You hear that?

If we leave, we can't come back.

Oh, no!

What should we do?

What the hell are we doing? I was gettin' there.

Man, I had my hand up her shirt.

Oh, yeah. You were gettin' there?

You hear that? He was gettin' there.

Son, you wouldn't know what to do with it even if you had gotten there. So don't worry about it.

Just 'cause you guys are striking out. Grow up, boy.

That was our last junior high party. That's right.

We're in the big time now. We're freshmen, where all the girls will be putting out.

Your days of lying around and pulling tongue all night are over.

Yeah, right.

You didn't know she stuffs her bra? Terry stuffs her bra?

You didn't know those were socks? Shit. Yeah.

They looked real to me.

Oh, shit. Scatter!

This one right here! Come here, baby! We got you, baby!

Whoo!

All right. Get out there. Go, baby. Go.

Come here. Come here, you little fag. Come here.

Come on.

Get over here. Where you running to, boy, huh?

We ain't gonna hurt you — much.

Just hold onto that fence there, all right, and just squeal like a pig.

You ready to switch-hit? Oh, yeah.

I'm first.

Geez. Bastards.

Whoo!

Hey, you guys.

Take it easy on the kid, would you?

Here comes another one, freshman. You ready?

Ladies. You like that?

One more for my mother.

Hey. Who is that kid?

What? That kid there? Just some kid we saw running around that shouldn't have been, by the rec center.

Hey. Can we have some of those beers?

- One of these? Yeah.

Why? Just give me a beer.

- Get out of here, I said! Yeah?

Catch. Huh? Hmm?

Tubbs, catch. Good. Get out of here.

What are you wasting a beer on him for? What?

It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Give 'em a beer.

Man, this fuckin' sucks. All right?

Last fuckin' day of school. No fuckin' party. No fuckin' —

You just wasted another fuckin' beer. Oh, shut up.

Thanks.

Hmm. Hey.

So, which one of your friends bought you the beer this time?

- Right. Hey! Fuck her! I did!

Yeah, bite me! You wish, asshole!

Fuck you!

Why are guys such pigs?

What? Let's get out of here.

Mmm. We're out of here.

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here.

We got 411 positrack out back, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intakes...

Ford over-30, 11-to-1 pop-up pistons, Turbo-jet 390 horsepower.

We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle.

Hey, man, I know you got this thing out of a comic book.

I saw the ad — 2.95. It was right next to the sea monkeys.

You see that over there? That's white lightning.

You see the shoes on that thing? You gotta get some tires. These are pizza cutters.

Yeah.

Ow. You're such an expert.

This is sad. Shouldn't we be doing something else?

Yeah. Like what?

- I'm bored. You're always bored.

- Let's split. Where you wanna go?

Then you're boring.

- Pink! Hey.

Hey. You hear anything more about a beer bust?

Talk to this man right here. Patience, darlin', patience.

- Hey. Hey.

What are you doing here? I was just about to ask you the same question.

I heard you got busted. Oh, yeah.

They just got Hirshfelder too.

Really? Yeah.

Like, how bad? Bad.

Was it O'Bannion? Yeah.

God, I hate that jerk.

I know.

So, um — What have you guys been doin'? Just — I don't know. Driving around, mostly.

I didn't know that Jodi was your big sister.

Oop. Hey, did I hear my name over here?

You guys talkin' about me? Hey, kiddo.

Heard they got you pretty bad.

And I asked them to take it easy on you. I can't believe they did that.

Man! God! No wonder!

Pink, what happened?

So, where'd they find Hirsh?

I don't know. Walking out of the rec center, I think.

Hey.

What have you guys been doin'? Pink, right?

Hi!

Ohh!

Hi.

Whew.

Face it. You got busted because you couldn't get away.

You try and outrun O'Bannion and those guys.

I'm gonna be laughin' my ass off when it's your turn, when they're busting your ass.

Hey, man, I heard last year... they caught about 10 freshmen at once.

O'Bannion backed his truck over some pizzas and made 'em eat it, man.

I mean, that's bullshit. Right?

Idiot flunks his senior year so he can be a dick two years in a row?

Is that legal?

Damn you, Carl!

Ohh! Okay. Let me out.

Hey, Slater, you fuckin' hippie! Give me drugs, man!

Get some from your mother, man.

Yeah, we just banged your mother. Okay. Fuck you, dickhead.

Those guys, man. Man of the woods. What's goin' on? God, I haven't seen you in so long.

My man, what is happenin'?

Long time no see.

- What have you been up to? Same old shit, man.

Workin' for the city. Workin' man, huh?

Been thinkin' about gettin' back in school though, man.

Back in J.C., somethin' like that? Yeah, man.

I mean, that's where all the girls are, right?

But on the other hand, man, I'd just as soon keep workin'.

Keep a little change in my pocket. Yeah? Wait.

Rather than spend my time listenin' to some dipshit who doesn't know what he's talkin' about anyway.

I know what you're talkin' about.

Say, you're a freshman, right? Yeah.

All right, so tell me, man. How's this year's crop of freshman chicks lookin'?

Wood, you're gonna end up in jail sometime really soon. I know that for a fact.

No, man. No, let me tell you.

That's what I love about these high school girls, man.

I get older, they stay the same age.

Yes, they do.

Yes, they do.

You guys wanna go for a spin? Shotgun!

Aw.

Woods. I'm here, man.

You wanna come along?

Yeah. Why not?

Take care, bro. You boys have fun now.

Listen, I'm gonna give you shotgun.

But I want you to know it's because — only 'cause I'm goin' inside.

Keep that in mind. All right? Okay. Got it.

Hey, man, whose bowling ball is this? It's yours, man.

- Slater. Hey, man. What's happening?

Play a little foosball? Yeah!


Junior.

Pull over to the trash can.

Pull over to the trash can! Pull over to the trash can!

Lemme, lemme, lemme, lemme —

Okay. Okay. Oh!

Shit, yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Hey, you guys, pull over to that one over there.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, hold this. Hold this.

- I got it! Go! Go! Guess what.

It's garbage day!

Yeah!

Whoo! We're fuckin' runnin'!

Yeah! Whoo!

- Whoo! Oh, my — Bowling ball.

Yeah! Throw the bowling ball.

Think I should?

Yeah! Throw it! Throw it! Throw it!

Come on. You're playin' with the big boys now.

Do it! Throw it! Faggot-sissy-pussy freshman! Throw it!

- Throw it! Heave it!

Fuck 'em!

That bowling ball said "Oof!" to that damn windshield!

- Yeah! Ha-ha! You're nuts, junior!

You're nuts!

Hey, man, we're out of beer.

We gotta make a Grab-'N'-Go stop. Fuck that.

I don't have any money. Who's got money? I gave mine to him.

Where's your money? Nah, doesn't matter.

Pull in heading out that way.

What are you gonna do, man? Hoist it? Yeah. That all I ever do.

I just need the freshman as a lookout. I don't wanna get in trouble. Do you, Randall Pink?

I don't know about this, Don. Come on.

I don't wanna see you.

Better be careful, junior.

- Sunflower seeds. Zigzags!

Zigzags. Hey, man, I'm not too sure about this.

Shh. I'm really gonna pay for it. I'm just messin' around with them. Okay?

Good.

Run! Go, go, go, go, go!

Come on, guys! We gotta get out of here, man! Let's go!

Let's go! Oh, my God!

All right, now don't try anything, or I'll shoot the shit out of ya.

Don, give the beer back, man. I paid for the beer, man.

Busted my mailbox, didn't you?

Look me in the eye, punk!

I don't know what you're talking about, sir, but I suggest that you — You busted it, didn't ya?

Tamperin' with mailboxes is a felony offense.

I done called the police.

I think you boys oughta get out of the car.

Just go, man. Nice and slow.

Go, go, go!

Whoo!

Get down!

He's shooting at us! Holy —

Fairly uneventful, huh?

Which one of you had the theory... about how President Ford's old football head injuries... is affecting the economy?

Did you know Ford was on the Warren Commission? Who cares? He's out of there this fall.

Look, we need some alcohol.

That's a thought.


Say, man.

Why don't you run over to the Centennial and pick me up a sixer of this stuff.

Think you can do that? Uh —

- Thanks, man. Good luck!

I'm just saying, if we're gonna drive around, we should just do something — Ohh!

Yeah. You know, you're right, man.

I'm just gonna, you know, get drunk, maybe get laid, or get in a fight.

No, I'm serious, man! We should be up for anything!

I know. We are. But what?

I mean, God, don't you ever feel like everything we do and everything we've been taught... is just to service the future?

Yeah, I know. It's like it's all preparation.

Right. But what are we preparing ourselves for?

- Death. Life of the party.

It's true.

You know, but that's valid.

Because if we're all gonna die anyway, shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now?

You know? I'd like to quit thinking of the present — like, right now — as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.

Exactly! That's what everybody in this car needs — some good old, worthwhile visceral experience.

Remember to eat a green thing every day.

And have lots of calcium.

It's very important for young mothers to have lots of calcium.

There you are. See you tomorrow night. Bye.

How are you this evening? Pretty good. How's it goin'?

Be goin' a lot better when I get off in a couple of hours.

Yeah, I hear that.

You're 18, right? Oh, yeah.

Just graduated. Graduated. Congratulations.

So, you off to college in the fall? Uh, you know, I'm still not sure.

I'm workin' right now for the city.

Thinkin' of holding on to the job for a while. You know, it's money in my pocket.

I hear that. Here's some more money for your pocket.

You have a nice night tonight. Okay. Thanks.

Hey, take it easy.

Psst! Hey, Mitch.

Hey. There you guys are.

Hey, man, what's in the bag? Ah, a sixer.

- You owe me one, man. Yeah.

They busted the hell out of Hirshfelder too.

- Yeah, I heard. Hey, man, you're over at the Emporium?

Oh, yeah. Hey, is that bastard O'Bannion over there?

Yes. I hate that jerk.

Do you guys wanna get him back?

Hell yes. Yeah!

They really sold it to you?

Of course. Cool.

There you go, buddy.

Whoo! Paycheck. Oh, yeah.

Way to shoot, man. Thanks, bud.

Oh, yeah. He got it.

I got your change. Oh, don't worry about it, man.

Got a beer for my partner. Yes, sir.

Want a beer? Yeah.

All right. Guys.

Party at the moon tower. Oh, I'm there.

You and Benny pick up the first keg. I'm goin' to collect for the rest.

Spread the word, man.

Max, Phil, party at the moon tower.

Hey, good game, man. You too.

Y'all are an embarrassment to the sport of pool... and you should be proud that I even let you play at my table.

You are the worst pool player I've ever seen in my life... but if you keep watchin' me you might learn somethin'.

Shit, you got so many balls on the table, I'm gonna have to start knockin' your balls in... just to get 'em out of my way.

- Okay. Corner pocket.

- Hey, check this out. Easy money.

God, you are terrible!

Okay, homo, I hope you are ready to taste the agonizing, bitter humiliation of defeat.

You ready?

So, did you hear they're busting Carl Burnett out back?

Whoa-whoa. What did you say? About what?

Carl Burnett. What about him? I just heard he's gettin' busted. I don't know.

Benny, they got Burnett in the back. Let's go.

- Carl Burnett? Outside? Yeah. They got him.

Let's go. Let me finish this game.

- Fine. I'm gettin' out. Hold him for me!

All right, all right!

Hey, man. That Julie chick? Loves you.

Oh, yeah. You want her?

Gotta play it cool, you know. Can't let her know how much you like her.

'Cause if she knows, she'll dump you like that. Believe me.

If she asks you to ride out there with her, you don't do it. Say, "Nah. Got my own ride.

But maybe I'll see you later."

Sounds stupid, doesn't it? It works.

Whoo-ee! Whee! We got another one, huh, fellas?

Whoa-whoa-whoa. Guys, guys. You wouldn't mind if I went first, would ya?

Is that all right?

It's kind of a personal thing between me and this little piece of shit here.

So... we meet again, huh?

Did y'all hear this little motherfucker's mom pulled a shotgun on me this afternoon?

Fuckin' bitch.

Y-You haven't had any licks yet, have you?

Hmm? No.

Whoo! Another cherry, boys.

Man, get the fuck up against the wall!

You have to be the dumbest freshman, skinny little cocksucking son of a bitch... to be out here tonight.

You knew I was gonna find you.

I would like to dedicate this first lick... to your mother... fucker.

Not yet.

Oh! It's gettin' warmer.

What the fuck?

Remember me, you pig?

Ohh!

Let's go, man! Come on!

What the fuck is the matter with you? How 'bout some fucking backup?

Let's go! I'm hurryin'!

Fuckin' scumbags!

It was beautiful! You should have seen the look on that fuck's face!

Get in! We got that bastard!

Jesus! You let that little fuck get away!

What is the matter with you? It's fuckin' pitiful!

Fuck!

Freshman shitheads.

What the fuck are you lookin' at? Huh?

I'll kick your fuckin' ass right now!

Pussy.

What are you smilin' at, you little freshman faggot? Huh?

Fuck you.

Fuck all of you! Fuck you!

Goddamn it!

Oh, man!

O'Bannion finally got his paint job — Whoa!

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I swore to God I'd never come to a Top Notch... and here I am sorting through jalapeño burgers and soggy fries.

Here, take 'em.

- All right, all right! Oh, Christ.

How ya doin'?

Pretty good. Cool.

You heard about the party bein' busted, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not to worry.

There's a new fiesta in the making as we speak.

It's out at the moon tower.

Full kegs. Everybody's gonna be there. You oughta go.

Okay.

Okay, we'll be there. Okay.

Say, you need a ride? Uh, no, I got my own car.

- Thanks. Yeah, well, listen.

You oughta ditch the two geeks you're in the car with now and get in with us.

But that's all right. We'll worry about that later.

I will see you there. All right? Bye.

I love those redheads, man.

I know you!

We had geography together. Remember?

Oh, great. Oh, God.

What a dick!

That was so creepy.

Why are you smiling? I thought he was cute.

Oh, that's disgusting! You thought he was cute?

Do you realize when he graduated we were, like, three years old?

Oh, Cynthia, what are you thinking?

I don't know.

So, are we gonna still go?

Yeah, what the hell. I guess.

Ohh! Get back!

Hey, Wood is here for the quarter race, baby!

Hey, Benny. You better have your wood screws — Fuck you!

'cause I'm gonna blow your doors completely off!


Yeah!


Well, someone's tokin' some reefer.

Take care of this.

Hey, man. Hey. Slow down. What's up?

Hey, how's it goin'? What'd you just say?

When?

Just now, man, when you walked past. What'd you say?

A-About what?

You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."

No, I may have said something about smelling some pot.

You know, it was just an observation. Oh, an observation, huh?

Well, who the hell are you, man? Isaac fuckin' Newton?

Well, guess what, genius. I'm the one smoking marijuana, motherfucker.

You got a problem with that? No. Of course not.

Then why'd you say that, chief? Don't let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash.

So I'm blazin' with my friends. So I'm a fuckin' pothead, man.

What's it to you? Huh? What's the matter, pussy? Out of observations?

Why don't you observe while I punch your teeth down your fuckin' throat!

Dude, relax! Relax! He's cool, man. Relax.

Hey, I'll be watching you, Newton. I only came here to do two things, man.

Kick some ass and drink some beer.

Looks like we're almost out of beer.

You okay, man? Yeah.

Why is it called the moon tower, anyway?

Uh, I guess they decided to put it up out here whenever they were building the power plant.

Actually, it's a good idea.

You got a full moon out here every day of the year. You know?

Yeah, but nothing's ever been repaired... so this whole place could fall down at any time.

So you'd better watch your step, junior.

Whoa!

This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause of some drunk freshman who fell off.

He went right down the middle, smackin' his head on every beam, man.

I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple, though.

Autopsy said he had one beer, man. How many did you have?

Four.

You're dead, man. You're so dead.

Look at the bloodstains right there.

Shut up.

I'm gonna get that guy.

What guy? That asshole on the way in — Clint.

Super-dominant male in a '50s greaser uniform.

I wouldn't suggest that, Mike.

Look, man, I got it all planned out.

Most fights in places like this never get past a punch or two before they're broken up.

There's almost a natural instinct not to upset the herd.

So all I gotta do is get in one good punch, play defense and wait.

What? What are you talking about?

I-I-I guess at first I was relieved to get out of the situation... but now there's this level of humiliation setting in... that I can tell is gonna be with me for-fucking-ever!

I'm just not gonna let this be yet another situation... which contributes to me being a little, ineffectual nothing the rest of my life.

Would you look at this fucking town, man.

It's dead.

Imagine how many people out there right now are fucking, man.

Step inside my head — Just goin' at it.

- Hey. Hey.

Remember me? Sure. You're Sabrina, right?

Right.

How are you doing? Okay.

Hey, let's go. What brings you here?

Oh, just hanging out.

You having fun? Yeah.

Yeah.

So, uh — does your offer from this afternoon still stand?

What am I say supposed to say? "Anything you want."

Why did we even come here?

I always feel a little out of place at these things, you know.

You're telling me. I'm being stalked by a Nazi.

Is that a little bit of reefer I smell on you, boy?

Coach is right. You're runnin' with that bad crowd again.

You've got an attitude adjustment you've gotta make right now.

Like I'm the only athlete at this fuckin' party. Look at you two drunks.

Coach is right, though. Those guys don't care if we win or lose, bro.

Just remember that.

Check this out. Watch this — Yeah?

Watch me get this beer. Watch.

Oh, no! It's the cops!

Look! Look! Shit!

Look, look, look! That was so easy.

Oh, shit. He needs another drink, you know, bad.

All right!


Hey! Mitch!

Hey! How's it goin'?

I was wondering if you were around here.

Oh, man!

So, uh, I just wanted to talk, you know... about you quittin' football.

Or is it just this pledge?

You don't wanna sign the pledge, right? That's what it is.

I don't know, man.

Maybe I'm not into any of it anymore.

You're not into any of it anymore. Yeah.

It'd be the biggest mistake of your life, Pink. No one quits senior year, pal.

Especially if you're starting quarterback.

I mean, we got a shot at state.

We'll kick some butt this year.

It's what we've been working for all of our lives, man.

Me and you. Benny. We're gonna be champions together.

Look, man, all I'm saying is that if I do play next year... it's gonna be on my terms, not theirs.

You just remember one thing, Pink — it ain't just about you, pal, it's about us — me, Donny, Mel.

You'd be fuckin' us over.

Or maybe you're just fuckin' scared, huh?

Have a nice night.


Do you guys know what that song's about?

It's about aliens.

We're the aliens, man. We're the savages.

We're the savages. Wait, man. That song is about that?

Yeah, man, that song's about that. About aliens?

Yeah, man. You didn't know that?

This country's founded — It was founded by people who were into aliens, man.

George Washington, man, he was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man.

- You didn't know that? No.

Oh, man, they were way into that type of stuff, man.

It's like the every-other-decade theory. You know?

The '50s were boring, the '60s rocked... and the '70s — Oh, my God, they obviously suck.

Right? Come on.

Maybe the '80s will be radical. You know?

I figure we'll be in our 20s and, hey, it can't get any worse.

Wait a minute.

Who put the keg way out here in the woods?

I don't know. This is just where they told me it would be.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Huh. I don't think we need beer anyway.

George toked weed, man? Absolutely, George toked weed.

Are you kidding me, man? He grew fields of that stuff.

That's what I'm talking about. Fields!

He grew that shit up at Mount Vernon, man. Mount Vernon? He grew it all over the country.

He had people growin' it all over the country.

The whole country back then was gettin' high. Let me tell you, man.

'Cause — 'Cause — 'Cause he knew. He was onto somethin', man.

He knew that it would be a good cash crop for the Southern states, man... so he grew fields of it, man.

But you know what? Behind every good man there's a woman.

And that woman was Martha Washington, man.

And every day, George would come home, she'd have a big, fat bowl waiting for him... when he'd come in the door, man.

She was a hip — a hip, hip lady, man.

Mm-mmm. Wait a minute.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. What?

What are you doing? I don't know.

Don't you have a girlfriend?

What girlfriend? What's-her-name.

Simone. Hmm?

And she was real cool too.

She'd harvest the crops, man. That's what I'm talkin' about.

She'd put it in the — in the, um, bushels and stuff and sell it, you know.

Because they had to make ends meet and stuff.

I mean, did you ever look at a dollar bill, man?

There's some spooky stuff going on on a dollar bill, man. And it's green too!

Later. See ya.

- Cool. Wait, wait, wait. What was that all about?

What were you doin' back there, guy? Exactly what you two clowns wish you were doin'.

Look at him. Look at your boy.

Kramer!

Yeah, you, you, you. Freshman. Right here. Come on. Right here, buddy.

What is he doing? I don't know. What is this wave shit?

- Freshman! Over here right now. Over here. Now.

Come on. Come on, come on.

- Come on. Come on. Come on. Shit. I should go.

Yeah, I guess you probably should. Shit. I'll be back.

Okay.

He's like a little Casanova. Yeah.

It's amazing. Look at this shit-eating grin on his face.

Was I right? Not bad for a little freshman.

But you better watch out for them older girls.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here, come here, come here.

All right, all right. We just wanna know something. Okay?

Are you gonna be fuckin' that later, or are you gonna be a little wimp? Huh?

How do you know I haven't already?

Get outta here! I think it's past your bedtime!

Run along. Come here. Come here, come here.

Why don't you go get a ride with her. Say we left you.

It'll work. It'll work. Go.

Hey, Kramer. Show it to her. Yeah.

Give it to her. Go! Go, boy.

Air raid, freshman.

What?

Air raid, freshman.

Oh, come on, Darla. Leave her alone. No, Tony, this is between me and her.

And she'd better be on the ground i-in five seconds.

Wait, she doesn't have to air-raid because she's with me. Okay?

Air-raid, or it's your ass.

Don't do it, Sabrina.

Oh, that's it...

Miss Hot Stuff.

I'm gonna make the next year of your life a living hell.

Lick me! All of you!

Hey, Darla.

Good for you.

Don't air-raid for that bitch. I hate that shit.

It's like that Clint fucker in front of all his friends.

- "Huh? Huh, motherfucker?" All right! Okay, Mike.

Dominant male monkey motherfucker!

God!

T-A-R-A.

I never met a Tara before. You're my first.

Hey, what the —

- Oh! All right!

He did it! I can't believe it! Fuckin' knew I should have kicked your ass!

Come on! Come on, man!

Come on! Hold still! Yeah!

- Stop now! Oh, yeah! Hold still!

You guys, come on. It's that Clint. That crazy bastard.

- You like this? You like this, motherfucker? Come on, Clint! Come on!

Where you goin'?

Whoo-hoo! Kick his ass!

Come on, man! You want some more? You fuckin' bitch!

Come on, man! Come here!

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! Get off him!

- Get the fuck off me! Come on!

Come on. Stay down! Fuckin' dick! You fucking fascist!

You got fuckin' smoked! Come on, man! You want some more?

Fuckin' dick!


Hey.

Hey, little brother.

Is that a beer in your hand? Why, yes, it is.

Have you had more than one of those tonight?

A few, I guess, but nobody's counting.

Hey. How you doin'? Hi.

Guess I might as well just get used to you being at the same social functions as me, huh?

And, uh, hanging out with people I know?

What time are you supposed to be home, anyway?

Oh, geez, I don't know. Couple hours ago.

That's bullshit.

That's major bullshit.

Mom barely let me out of the house when I was your age.

Aww! "Aww!"

Don't think she's not gonna be waiting up for you when you get home, because she will be.

I've been through it, and she's tough. Yeah, well — Just don't ask her to take it easy on me, please.

What's that supposed to mean? Take it easy on him?

Let's go smoke that joint. He's in for a surprise.

All right! Good.

Thanks a lot, man. Hey, man, no worries.

Take care. All right.

Pick you up tomorrow, 4:00? Okay.

Hey.

Aerosmith. Three weeks. Front row seats, babe.

All right. I won't forget.

So, uh, who's buying breakfast?

Not me. I will, I guess.

You coming along? Sure.

Night, John Boy. Ali. Good night.

"Wood-a-been." What's going on?

Pink, my man. What's happenin'?

Not a lot. Cynthia, man?

I like her, man. Very nice. Yeah?

Red's a good color for you. My favorite color.

Have you seen Jodi around? Man, she left your ass.

Really? Well, you win some, you lose some.

What about Peter Frampton?

I like him. Hey!

Slater, what's happenin', man? What's goin' on, man?

Guys, what's goin' on? Nothing!

Pickford, what do you know? What time is it? God.

Let's go smoke a joint, man!

On the 50-fuckin'-yard line, in honor of your daddy, Coach Conrad.

We're there! Great idea!

The man with the plan. Wanna come with me?

Okay.

Hey.

Joint subcommittee meeting on the 50 yard line in 15. You there?

- Okay. Don, y'all ride with me, man.

Let's hit it.

This is cashed, man. It's in there, man.

You can ride with us, man, but you're ridin' in the back, 'cause I got shotgun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. H-Hey!

Hey, hey, hey! Watch the leather, man!

Oh, fuck it!

- Don't you quit! Do you wanna hit him? He was wide open!

- Do you want to hit him? Jesus, son! You're wearing Rebel gray!

Now, break down! Break down! I'm sorry, Coach.

I want you on him like stink on shit! I say, stink on shit!

Break down! You don't deserve to wear that Rebel gray, boy!

You don't deserve to wear it! You won't hit him? You won't hit him?

O.T.S.S.! Only the strong survive!

Only the strong survive! Only the strong survive, boy!

Only the strong survive! That's it!

Now, where's your pitch man? Hit your goddamn pitch man!

He fumbles!

Hey, man!

Hell, my grandmother can hit harder than that!

What the fuck, man?

Course, she's an 8 foot 4, 652-pound, hairy-ass gorilla... drives a Mack truck and runs the 40 in 10.2.

Hell, she's gotten bigger lately, man. She was only 6'2", 195 in my day.

Still drives that Mack truck though.

Hey, Pink, you got my papers, man?

Uh, yeah, there's some in my glove compartment.

I got 'em. Hit me on a slant. Give me the keys to an inside.

Hut. Down!

Marijuana on one!

Reefer on two!

Hut! Hut!

Wide open!

I got it! Sweet!

Oh!

That's pretty good.

Don't you think? Yeah.

Could be, like, a little — I don't know. Maybe perhaps a little more symmetrical.

Does that hurt? Oww!

Yes! Pl — It — Sorry. Sorry.

It's a bruise. Okay.

I don't know. Let me ask you something, though.

I mean, I got some pretty good ones in there.

I mean, it's not like I — You wouldn't say I got my ass kicked, right?

Oh, no. You know — I don't know.

After a couple years, people won't even remember, really, who won or lost.

Yeah — No, you're right.

You read about, like, Jackson Pollock or Ernest Hemingway — You never read about who won or lost, just, they got into a brawl.

Right. Exactly.

Well, uh, thanks for the ride and breakfast and everything.

No problem.

Sure is nice to pile on some pancakes and syrup after a night of beer drinking, isn't it?

Um —

Good night.

Good night.

- Hope you're not grounded or anything. Thanks.

"Not to indulge in any alcohol, drugs, sex after 12:00... or any other illegal activity —"

Oh, not my shadow. Slater, pay me for that.

Found that in your glove compartment, man. You're the third person who's given me this today.

God.

What do you reckon you're gonna do?

I don't know. I'll probably end up signing it. I just don't wanna give in so easy.

Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day.

If it ain't that piece of paper, it's some other choice they're gonna try and make for ya.

You gotta do what Randall "Pink" Floyd wants to do, man.

And let me tell you this — The older you do get, the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow.

You just gotta keep livin', man. L-I-V-I-N.

Man, if you're gonna sign that paper, man... you should throw a little grass right in the middle, roll it up, sign the joint, man.

- That's gonna tell 'em something. That's what I'll do. Assholes.

Yeah, they're all assholes. But think about it. We've had a lot of good times right here, Pink.

Yeah, I mean, come on, Pink. I can't believe this.

You act like you're so oppressed. Man, you guys are kings of the school.

You get away with whatever you want. What are you bitching about?

Look, all I'm saying is, if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life... remind me to kill myself.

All I'm saying is, I just wanna look back and say... that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place... had as much fun as I could when I was stuck in this place... played as hard as I could when I was stuck in this place... dogged as many chicks as I could when I was stuck in this place.

Yeah, right, Mr. Premature Ejaculation.

Ooh!

Oh, that's good. That's good.

- That's good, baby. You know it's true.

- Is that the cops? What the hell?

- Oh, shit. Hey! All of you!

Get over here!

- Now! Hey, man, ditch that pot.

Is it illegal to be on the football field?

I got some more in this fuckin' bag. Dump it, dump it, dump it.

Come on, Slater.

What'd we do?

You got any Visine?

Man, I can't believe this.

If it ain't ol' Richard Wrath. How you doin', Dick?

Well, well, well. Couple of football players.

Wonder what Coach is gonna think of all this.

Line up.

Wooderson. Slavey.

Relivin' old glories on the football field?

Get through there!

You shouldn't still be mad 'cause I got all-district and you didn't.


What?

Floyd! Dawson! Get your scrawny butts over here.

Mornin', Coach.

So what the hell's goin' on? Why am I gettin' wake-up calls from the cops?

That was nothin'. They just left just now. False alarm, Coach.

Come here, Randy. Come here.

You been out with those losers all night?

Hey, Coach Conrad.

Remember me? Second period gym class?

That's the kind of people I was telling you about.

Trouble like this means nothing to that bunch of clowns. You're the one with something to lose.

Coach, you don't even know them. Randy — How can you even pretend to talk that way? Huh?

Okay, Randy, I shouldn't do this, but I'm willing to wipe the slate clean and forget about all this.

I want you to get your priorities straightened out, quit hanging out with that bunch of hoodlums... and sign your commitment to your team.

Have you done that yet? I'm still thinkin' about it.

No one's paying you to think about it. Just do it, son!

You know, Coach...

I gotta get going.

Me and my loser friends, we gotta go get Aerosmith tickets.

Top priority of the summer.

Oh, uh, Coach, uh, I forgot.

I might play ball... but I will never sign that.

Let's rock and roll.

All right, man! Livin'!

Shit, I'm gettin' my third wind. Let's get on the road.

Let's go. You gonna come, man? Shotgun!

Talk to you later, then.

You guys not goin'? Can I use your keys?

Yeah. Time to boogie on outta here.

Hey. Let's do it.

So that's that, huh?

All right.

Slate. Aah!

I never get shotgun.

Uh, hi, Mom.

Mmm, okay, Mitchell.

This is your one get-out-of-jail-free card... so I hope you enjoyed it.

No.

Your sister told me everything, so I've decided to make this deal with you.

I'm — I'm gonna be open-minded about it this time.

But... next time you come in at sunrise... we've got problems.

And, uh, who is this older girl who gave you a ride?

She's just, like — Have you been drinking?

No!

Are you drunk?