Deathgasm (2015) Script

You know that evil Heavy Metal that your parents hate you listening to?

You know those lyrics about hell and doom, demons ripping you new orifices to shit out of?

But what if I told you it's all real?

I know...

I was there.


But wait... let's start at the beginning.

It all started in Greypoint, the middle of ass-fuck nowhere.

I had to shift here after my mum went on a massive meth bender, and tried to suck off a Santa Claus in a crowded mall.

Mum got sent to a mental ward.

And I got stuck with my Uncle.

My Uncle Albert was balls deep into Jesus.

He thought Ricky Martin was heavy.

He heard me cranking some Disemboweled Corpse, and he hasn't slept for days.

I brought about the end of the world. Biggest dick move ever.

Stop struggling.

It won't fit.

Get up there. This is Dion.

And that is probably the least embarrassing orifice that dice has been shoved into.

Wait... Yes, it's in!

And this is my dickhead cousin. Hey, David.

He's hospitalized more nerds than asthma.

I saw Uncle Albert washing your sheets this morning.

You shit the bed or something? Fuckin' devil-worshiper.

I can't wait until my dad kicks you out on the streets and you've got to blow truck drivers for food like your psycho mum.

His mum is a psycho.

You all right, man?

Here's your dice. It's actually a die. Dice is plural.

And it's a D10. But...

Thanks.

Jesus. Who's that? Oh, Medina Darcy.

Number one cause of awkward boners in Greypoint.

No dude. What do you mean "no"?

No way. Chicks like that, they don't go out with metalheads.

They bang apes like your cousin.

Forget her, man.

At lunchtime, do you want to do something completely badass?

And that's... eight points of non-lethal damage.

Exceeds your HP; your cleric is unconscious.

No fucking way. How is it still breathing? I cast a fireball.

You cast it at a Fire troll.

It's immune to fire. This is bullshit.

Well, that's Giles. He was once suspended for violating the CPR training dummy.

I'm the DM, Giles. What I say goes, okay? I am the law.

This is your problem, Dion. Okay.

This is why no woman will talk to you. Hey, do you know what?

A whole family of goblins has just amassed around your dead body.

And one of them is humping your foot. How do you like that?

How...


Fuckin' nerds. Oh, Jesus.

It's piss.

They sprayed us with piss. Again!

Oh, the Player's Guide is totally ruined.

My friends are losers. My uncle keeps trying to christen me in my sleep, and I'm drenched in my cousin's bodily fluids.

X minus one...

X plus one...

Good work, Brodie. Nice technique.

Great shading on the demon penises.

Is that me having hot pokers stuffed up my rectum by skeletons?

Yes, sir. Nice likeness.

Very detailed. Two weeks detention.

Silence!

So, that's me. Brodie.

Fuck my life.

Fucking late again.

Oh, Christ, it's my Satanist cousin, Brodie.

Look at that ugly loner. I'm gonna make his life hell on earth.

That's really cool, David. Can you please take me home now?

I thought we'd take a drive or something.

Okay, it's hard to believe, but talking about bullying isn't really a turn on.

There was only one cool thing about Greypoint...

Alien Records.

Byron sold the sickest vinyl, while his psychic girlfriend, Abigail, told fortunes to bored housewives.

Welcome to Alien records. How are things, kid?

Things are shitty.

Check it out. Oh, Haxan Sword? Epic.

Yeah, man, it's only one of 666 ever printed, numbered in blood by Rikki Daggers himself.

Metal vinyl's over there by that kid.


Fuck, yes.

Now that's a record, man. Yeah.

I've actually been after that one for a while.

I'm Brodie, by the way.

Zakk. After I met Zakk, my life changed.

My mother was gonna call me Storm though.

Rad. I know.

He was a tornado of chaos, leaving a trail of destruction and teen pregnancies in his wake.

Zakk got expelled after stabbing a kid with a math compass because he stepped on his King Diamond tape.

Or was it a setsquare?

He used to help his dad at the car workshop.

But mainly he just stole anything not bolted on and then unbolted the rest.

Yeah. Fuck you too, Bono.

Hey, man... you want to do something crazy?

It's not role-playing is it?

What the fuck is role-playing?

Zakk played bass so we started a band.

Hey. This is... Giles and Dion.

Hey. Hey.

Right, first things first. What are we called?

Murder Boner? Toothed Vagina.

Oh, Maggot Sperm.

Cannibal Unicorn.

How about like, thirteen S's. You know, like...

Got it. Got it. DEATHGASM.

All spelled in capitals. Lower case is for pussies.

Cool. What about...

I fuckin' said...

DEATHGASM!

Solo. Fuckin' shred it.

Dude, I thought you said you could play. Sorry. I can. I can.

I'm just... I'm... I'm just rusty.

All right. From the top.

What? Just mixing it up.

Where are we going? It's a surprise.

What the hell is that for? Dude, chill out. It's fine.

All right. You stay here.

You're lookout.

What?

Shit.


Zakk?


Zakk?

Oh, shit!

Did you shit yourself?

Nice surprise.

You're an accomplice, mate. Don't puss out on me now. Come on.

Check it out.

Shit.

Man, these guys were legends back in the day.

Check it out.

Rikki Daggers.

He was a maniac. Didn't he used to kill live rabbits on stage with a crowbar?

No, man. It was a claw hammer.

Wonder what happened to him?

Spent all his money on coke, hookers and Satanist shit.

Last I heard he was hiding out in some small, crappy New Zealand town.

No fuckin' way. Yes fuckin' way.

No fuckin' way. Rikki Fuckin' Daggers, man.

Hey, this way.

Holy fuck. Look at those amps.

No, they're old as hell; probably all busted.

Is that...?

It's him. Is he dead?

I bag that record. Dude, that's low.

I can go much lower.


Come on.

Check it out. No fuckin' way.

Motherfucker!

Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude... The record... drop it.

Kick it to me.

Right. What the fuck... Chill.

...are you two cunts doing in my house?

Let's get out of here. Come on. Don't you fuckin' move.

Aeon sent you, didn't he?

When are you occultist cunts ever gonna fuckin learn?

No, we're just... we're just metalheads.

We're fans.

Well, how did you find me?

Latest Death Scream, dude. You were outed.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck!

We're all gonna die.

Shit. Someone's coming.

Here. Take it. Take it!

Hide it and guard it with your life.

Come on, let's bail. Let's bail. Fuck.

So you fuckers finally found me.

Where is it, Daggers?

Who were you talking to?

I heard voices.

Why don't you go home and tell Aeon to fuck himself!

It's a trap.

Well, go on then, do it, you fuckin' pussy.

Well, that was fucked up.

Dude, what the hell? It's a fucking Rick Astley record!

Fuck.

What the hell was that? Weird.

It's music.

Can you read it? Yeah, I think so. It's pretty universal.

It's really old.

Holy fuck.

Look at the title. What the fuck does it say?

I don't know, I think it's Latin. What, like, Dora the fuckin' Explorer?

No. Like, Romans and shit.

Dude... we should learn this, turn it into a DEATHGASM song!

It'll be fuckin' brutal.

You want a beer? Yeah.


Vadin.

I found Daggers. Straight to it?

Not even a, "How are things, Aeon?"

You're direct. I've always liked that about you.

Aeon, the pages. The Black Hymn, Vadin.

Pages are just paper. The Black Hymn is absolute power.

Please, give it the reverence it deserves.

Daggers didn't have it, The Black Hymn.

I think someone got to it before us.

That's a shame.

There was a break in.

The pages should be in Greypoint somewhere. I just need more time.

Winners don't make excuses for their failures, Vadin.

They learn from them. No. Please.

Take his fucking head off. No!

Oh, come on, that's a custom made Sartori rug, idiots.

You put a tarp down first.

Do it again.

Again! Do it again!

That's good.

Yeah, I think that worked.

Get the car, we're heading into Greypoint.

Zakk, Zakk, that's good. Brodie, can you put your foot up on that tree?

Yeah. But... but higher. Higher.

This is retarded. Our instruments aren't even plugged in.

Where the fuck is the sound meant to be coming from?

Trust me, this is gonna be off the hook.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's good.

Let's head to the next location.

Fuck you, Dion.


Does anybody want anything from the shop?

Condoms, Vaseline, jumper cables and ammonium nitrate.

I don't think they sell that combination of things.

See...

Sorry. Sorry.

There you go.

Could I please have my tampon?

Yeah, sure. Thanks.

You're Brodie, right? Yeah.

I'm Medina, from maths class.

Right, you're David's girlfriend, right?

You know what, I was gonna get an ice cream. Did you want one?

Yeah. I was just helping these guys...

We're... we're all done here. Dude... catch you later.

Yeah, that'd be great. Cool.

Sperminate her, dude!

So... the other day, in maths... Mr. Capenhurst is such a dick.

Yeah. Yep.

I... I saved this. Well, I rescued it from the bin.

You're a really good drawer, like, really talented. I wish I could draw like that.

Okay. Thank you. Thanks.

You know, I was thinking about getting a tattoo, it would drive my dad crazy.

I should get you to design it.

Maybe that's lame. No, of course.

I mean, of course I would help you design it. Not of course I think it's lame.

Okay.

You know, I was thinking about getting it just... just here.

Yes.

Good spot for it. Or maybe here, on my upper thigh.

Yeah. Yes, yeah.

Either... I mean, again, both great areas... places.

And hard decision.

So.

So, you're in a band? Yeah, I play... the guitar.

I mean, axe.

Do you... do you like metal?

Isn't it just a bunch of guys screaming?

No way. Well, apart from grindcore.

And... death metal is kind of like that.

And deathcore, screamo, pornogrind, black metal, mathcore, thrash and mordorcore. But apart from those.

It's just not my thing.

I don't really get it.

It's like, when life sucks, and you feel alone and empty.

You stick on some metal and life is better, because... because somebody else knows the pain and the rage that you're going through, you know?

I'll lend you a CD.

You should... you should have a... have a listen.

Anal cunt.

This one.

Awesome. These are really, really old.

How are they not in a museum?

Where did you say you got these again, dude?

I... Found them... in a skip.


I'm warning you, Brodie. Stop that devil music now.


Shit, man.

Laters, bud.

Dude, you choked again.

Sorry, I... started panicking.

You ever had that feeling where you can't breathe?

Like there's a crushing weight on your chest, and the room gets really small and your heart starts beating insanely fast?

No, I never had that.

Oh, Although this one time, this chick grabbed my nuts too hard, and my splooge came out red.

Brotherhood of Steel?

Brotherhood of Steel.

Laters.


The expression... three A... plus two B over two.

When A equals three... and...

B equals four.

Anyway...


Hey, cuz. The fuck do you want?

Fuck.

Get him. Get the fuck off, David.

What are you gonna do about it, fudge packer? Tell my dad?

He hates you too. Fuck.

You go near my bitch again and I'll punch you in the dick every morning.

Fucktard.

Rip Brodie's girlie earring out. No.

No! No, no, no...

Come on. Lay into him.

Are you stealing petrol?

No. I'm stealing diesel.

Well, don't you feel guilty?

No. Hold that.

You're Zakk, right? Brodie's friend?

He... do you know where he is? He skipped class this afternoon.

Brodie?

Oh, yeah. He lost his dick in a freak bandsaw accident.

Tragic.

Okay.

Well.

Can you give him this?

Don't read it.


Zakk?

Where's Brodie?

He told me to pass on a message.

He's not interested. He's got other shit going on.

Well, that's shit. Yeah.

Well, I thought I'd come down and tell you.

Save you waiting all night, freezing your tits off.

Well, thank you for considering the well-being of my tits.

You're welcome.

Here.

You're freezing.

Swig? Helps take the bullshit away.

Fuck it.

His mum is a psycho.


Are you gonna tell us who gave you the shiner?

Won't matter soon. Let's just fuckin' do this.

Dude, you know I have your back. Tell me who they are, I'll fuck them up.

I'm fine.

All right. Well, if they give you any more shit, I know a trick, all right?

Point down at his zipper and say, "Gross, your cock's hanging out."

And then when they look down... Boom!

You punch them in the face.

My dad taught me that.

All right, ladies. From the top.


Goddamn, I have the worst headache.

Were we asleep?

Amps are buggered.

Guys... guys, do I look different?

More, like... more powerful?

You could be weaker than before.

Something fucked up happened, man. My head is throbbing.

Something went wrong. It didn't work.

What are you talking about, dude?

Wouldn't it be crazy if... if the music had something to do with demons?

Demons?

Demons?

Demons?

Fuck!

What do you want, asshole? Can you hear the trumpets, Brodie?

They're getting louder. The Blind One is coming.

He's going to suck out your intestines for a thousand years and use your ribs as toothpicks.

Okay.

Did I mention... he's going to roast your nuts over an open fire?

While they're still attached, of course.

No, Terry. You didn't mention that. Well, he is.


Mr. Capenhurst, are you okay?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

There was just blood everywhere, from every hole.

It was crazy. Weird.

Yeah, it was mental, man.

Medina, too. Just... just totally ignored me.

Did she say why?

No.

Feels like everybody in my neighborhood has gone insane.

This town has always been fuckin' crazy.

Pouring fuckin' fluoride in the water or something.

What the fuck is that noise?

Dad?

For fuck's sake.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad, what the fuck are you doing?

Dad? What are you doing?

What's wrong with him, is he drunk? I don't think so.

Dad, talk to me.

Look, I want to take this T-shirt off your face. Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay.

Fuck!

What the fuck is he doing?

Holy fuck! I can see you.

Fuck!


Brutal.

Should we... check his pulse.

He has a fucking engine for a head.

I don't think he's gonna be walking this one off, man.

Shit.

Your Dad, I'm... Fuck. I'm really sorry.

Fuck!

You know, it's weird but...

I think he would've wanted to go out like this.

His eyes ripped out, face grinded off, and then head mounted under a car engine?

Totally.

For whom the bell tolls, old man.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck!

Dude, dude, I am so sorry. Fuck, man.

This is all my fault. Okay. Fuck.

I translated those pages, and they were all to do with summoning demons, okay?

And now people are turning crazy. Like, possessed crazy.

You knew that was some black magic shit and you didn't fuckin' tell me?

I didn't want you to think I was crazy. It's a bit fuckin' late now, isn't it?

This is fucking twisted, man.

Fuckin' demons?

Abigail. Fuckin' Abigail. You know, the chick from the record store, the psychic chick.

She knows all about this stuff. We should go see her.


The lights are on. They could still be here.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

Jesus!

These things suck.

What are you... what are you doing?

Who brings a dice purse to a demon apocalypse anyway?

How do we stop these things? Shit.

Medina! What's up?

Sweet axe skills. Thanks.

I wanted to come up with one-liner like, "you were axing for this," or something.

That would be really cool, right? That was pretty cool as is.

I mean, the axe, and the...

Yeah. Fuckin' awesome.


Abigail, we need to get you to a hospital, okay?

It's too late.

It has possessed their bodies.

Is that Satan?

That is Aeloth, king of the demons.

Aeloth? Sounds like a badass.

These words were in music pages. The Black Hymn. You have it.

Have it? We fuckin' played it.

Well, then you have fucked us all.

The possessed bodies... they kill all in their path... in preparation for Aeloth's ascension... on the next blood moon.

On the devil's hour. Oh, shit.

The moon is red tonight.

When is the Devil's hour? Three a.m.

Wait.

Three a.m. Pacific or Eastern time?

Do demons recognize daylight savings?

When Aeloth returns His soul will fuse with that of a darkest human host.

How can we stop him?

Do you still have the Black Hymn? Yeah, it's back at my Uncle's.

Well, then we can...

Oh, shit!

Have you guys seen Brodie tonight?

Everyone I've seen is either dead or psycho-ed.

No sign. Hey, my dad said we should head to the school in an emergency.

It's... Greypoint's civil defense centre.

He's a warden. I mean, was until he... got possessed and... ate Mom's skin off. Dude, are you still going on about that?

It was hours ago, get the fuck over it.

Let's head to the school. We're not gonna survive out here.

Oh, wait a sec.

Oh, God.

Let's hope the demons can't read.

You ready?

Let's go.


We need you to destroy the Vocavitque Rex daemonia.

Destroy it? We came here to get it.

Those who performed the Black Hymn may try to reverse it before Aeloth's ascension.

Can't you destroy it? No!

Only those who still have a soul can touch the pages.

I do not.

I have one condition.

I want to become Aeloth's vessel. It has to be me.

His soul will bind with the blackest human soul nearby.

A soul that will not resist his power.

You... No! Please! No!

Now who doesn't have a gag reflex?

I pledge allegiance to Aeloth the Blind.

Kill anyone who gets in your way.

You will be rewarded with more power than you can imagine.

Find Brodie. He is the key.

Before she died Abigail was trying to tell us something.

Maybe...

Okay. We're gonna back to my place, I'm gonna get my guitar and the pages.

I'm gonna try and play this song backwards, Rob Halford style, man.

I mean, it makes sense, right? Reverse all this shit?

Fuck that. This town is shit.

We're going up to the lookout rolling a three-skinner, cranking some Slayer and watching this town burn to the fuckin' ground!

Dude, what about Medina, Giles and Dion? They could all still be alive.

Those guys are dicks.

Medina is never gonna put out for you, man.

You're never gonna get to second base with that girl.

What?

You know, anal.

Okay, firstly, I don't wanna know what you think forth base is, all right?

But I'm going for the music pages.

Dude, fucking stop.

Don't you give a shit about anyone but yourself?

No, I don't. Fuck them.

Dude, I do care about the Holden.

Hey, Cocktopus! You win.

I'll take you to do the thing with the music, or whatever.

Dude!

Come on. Get in.

Come on.

Okay. So all the shit is in my room, all right.

But just watch out for my Aunt and Uncle, because they hate you.

And also... they might be demons.

Right. Okay.

Oh, shit.

But they are into all that God shit, right?

They'll be sweet, they'll just pray themselves to safety.

No, no.

No, they were at home when we played the song.

Look, they definitely would've heard it, okay?

Looks all clear. I'll get the music.

You've been a bad boy, Brodie.

I can taste you from here.

Zakk!

Fuck!

Shit. We need to arm up.

Does your uncle have a gun? I doubt it, man. Fuck!

Fuck. Fuck, yes!

I bet there are some crosses in here. Or some bibles we could bash them with.

What the hell?

I think they're... they're rosary beads? Yeah.

What part of church do they crank this bad boy, Brodie?

Hey, Brodie? What?

Oh, fuck.

Why would you do that?


It's not working.

These are a bit shit.

Hold them off. What?


Yes.

Brodie!

No!


No! No!

No! No! No!

No!

I'm going to eat your soul.

Fucking die!

No!

No! Stop! Please. No!


No.

No.


What... the fuck?

Pretty sure he wasn't possessed. What? Oh, no. Of course he was.

Because when he came in he said something about Satan.

You didn't hear him say that?

Fuck!

Hey, the pages are blowing away. You have to help me...

Oh, sick, man.

What? They were like that when I found them. Come on. We have to get the music.

All right, look I'm going to help you do this, but only because you suck at it.

Also it's kind of fun stabbing shit. But we need to get better weapons. Yeah?

Brutal. Brutal as fuck.


You're pretty good at whacking guys off, bro.

Did you see that?

I'm gonna go check it out. Brodie, you've got the page, let's go.

Brodie!

Shit!

Medina.

Brodie.

Hey. Hey.

We're just holed up in... inside.

We?

When Medina was killing those demons...

I got a bit of a half-chub.

Look, let's get back to the matter at hand here.

Seeing as how you're in an underground dwarven citadel, it looks as if it has nested hinges, which...

Oh... Brodie!

Told you they'd be okay. No, you didn't.

You said they were probably dead already. You wanted dibs on his guitar.

I found these guys outside your house. You were looking for us?

Of course. You got our note, right?

No. I didn't see any note.


Who would have thought that Mr. Proctor's rock collection would come in handy?

Oh, gosh. Your hand. Oh... it's okay.

No.

That's Zakk's jacket.

When did you get that?

He...

He lent it to me.

He stopped by the other night to tell me that... you know.

You weren't interested.

What?

The note that I gave Zakk to give to you to meet me at the park at 9:00.

No. I didn't get that note either.

So...

did you guys hook up?

Motherfucker! Brodie, just leave it.

Fuckin' wanker. You knew I liked her.

Calm the fuck down, all right?

I'm not even into her; I was just bored.

Well. That's supposed to make it fuckin' better?

What happened to Brotherhood of Steel?

Everyone was fuckin' right about you. You're a piece of shit.

Fuck you! You let this happen by being such an insecure pussy.

Yeah, that's right walk away. Grow some fucking balls, man.

Motherfucker!

You motherfucker. You knew I liked her.

Save it for the demons, you two.

All right.

All right.

Fuck you!

I never even liked you.

Good luck fighting evil without me. You're all gonna fuckin' die.

Death to false metal!

I expected this.

He's Chaotic Neutral and you're Lawful Good.

Your alignments are just totally mismatched.

How are we gonna play it backwards? It was hard enough playing it forwards.

Will take a few goes.

Well, time isn't exactly on our side. And another problem.

When we first played the song, everyone in the neighborhood got possessed first, right?

So? Well, they were all within earshot.

But our amps blew up.

Right. Okay, so we need some serious decibels.

Well, does the school have any? Are you kidding?

Our whole music class had to share the same recorder. I can still taste it.

I know a place that has amps.

Big ones. Not sure if they still work, but it's our only chance.

Out there? It's gonna be crazy. And we don't have a car without Zakk.

Zakk can eat my ass. We don't need him. We can do it on our own.

Fuck, yeah.

Fuck, yeah.

Let's tear shit up.

Stay low.

Come on.

Just chill, all right. We're not demons. Drop the weapons. Now.

Damn! I can't tell if I have a fear boner or a boner boner.

I didn't even say anything. Hit him. Just let us go, okay.

You don't know what you're doing. The town is overrun with fucking demons.

We know exactly what we are doing.

Give me the Vogue-catty queff-wrecks-demony.

It's actually pronounced Vocavitque Rex daemonia.

That tongue wasn't meant for Latin.

Come on. The Black Hymn, where is it?

I don't know what you talking about. No.

Well?

Don't tell this Manson family cumbucket anything, Brodie.

Okay, okay.

It's here.

No!

Tie them up, take them in the bedroom. They can be a live offering for Aeloth.

No. No, please, let us go.

You had your chance. You awakened Aeloth, pleaded with him to take away your weakness and vanquish your enemies.

He would've given you power, fame, fortune, and any woman you want.

But you blew it.

Is that true Brodie? You did all of this for power?

I didn't want this. Get them out.

Okay. Okay, okay.

Do you think if we soil our pants, they'll let us go?

I guess we'll find out soon.

In sanguine. Intra in sanguinem.

De caelo laceri. Lacerato horrorem.

Proin cursus meum. Regnabunt autem in sanguine...

Hey, I never meant for this to happen, okay? I just want to let you know that.

I was desperate.

I just... I felt so fuckin' powerless.

You are not powerless, Brodie.

You can till stop this.

I know you can.

What was that, guys?

Shit.

There's something in there.

Which one of you cunts wants to be skull-fucked first?

No, no. Not me. I need my skull for exams.

Sacrifice is a noble act, you know.

Fucking old bastard.

Oh, my God.

Did you miss me?

I thought you were off to the lookout to watch the town burn.

Realized I couldn't leave my mate in the shit.

Not with all these demons to mega-kill.

Metalheads stick together, right?

Wait. You decided that you wanted to help us, and then you went and applied makeup?

Well, how long did it take? What ten, fifteen minutes?

It's not makeup, it's fucking corpse paint. For going into battle?

Okay. Well, you look adorable. It really brings out your eyes.

What's the plan? Okay. I get my guitar.

You guys get me to the amps. Cover me. But she ripped up the pages.

Do you really think you can play it from memory?

I have to try.

One more thing... can you quickly pull me off?

Right.

De caelo laceri. Lacerato horrorem.

Metal up your ass, motherfucker!


No!

Where's Dion? He was behind us. He must've got lost.

There's only a few fucking rooms.

Dion!


Fuck!

Giles!


Hurry, Brodie. I'm trying.

Kill them all!


It's three a.m.


Aeloth! Come into me!

Fill me with your power!


So much power!

This is fucking brutal.

What?

Fuck.

You know, I'm not even sure I'm in the right tuning.

So, dude, I'm thinking about doing a 'Burzum'.

Starting my own solo project.

Medina! Run! Run!

I mean, you and the rest of the band are just dead weight.

Dude, zip up your fly. I can see your dong.

What?

You don't get it, do you? You can't stop me.

I'm gonna destroy this world of shit, one maggot at a time.

Medina!

Look at it this way... you're about to lose five kgs without a crash diet.

Fuck it.

No, no, no, no. That's not gonna work.

You have to play the black hymn, fuckin' idiot.


Zakk.

Thanks, man.

The metal brought me back.

I'm trying to hold him off.

He's gonna destroy everything. Dude, fight it.

You gotta be strong. I mean, you're the strong one, remember?

I can't. He's too powerful.

Finish me.

Quickly. Before Aeloth takes over again.

Man, I can't, I can't.

You have to do it. There's no other way. Send him back to hell.

Do it!


Brotherhood of steel, dude.

Brotherhood of steel, forever.


I don't know, I just...

I can't stand mic cupping.

Cannibal Corpse do it. No. Barnes used to do it. Fisher... it's straight from the guts.

Shit. Did I just get schooled?

I'm a very fast learner.

How's the tat?

It's all healed up.

I'll see you later.


You really thought this was over? Time to die, Brodie!

No, just kidding, dude. Zakk?


So what's like... being dead?

Hell is awesome!

Like, met some music legends:

Dio, Kurt Cobain, Dimebag, Jon Bonham, Paul McCartney.

Yeah, the true, true Mayhem reunited, too. So cold, dude.

Fucking brutal as.

Anyway, the band.

You got to keep playing, dude.

But everyone is dead. We can't keep calling ourselves DEATHGASM.

Doesn't feel right.

All right then. Well, change it. How about... Bandsaw Circumcision?

Intesticide? What about, like, Bestiality Bliss?

Yeah, how about Birth Canal Boat Riders?

What about The God Buggerers?

How about David Bain's Scrotum. Anal Bulimia?