Desperate Housewives S2E6 Script

I Wish I Could Forget You (2005)

Previously on "Desperate Housewives"...

My husband died thinking that I murdered him.

Bree put the past behind her.

You keep me on as your lawyer, your wife's off-limits.

He's my lawyer.

While Carlos gambled with his future...

How much money do you think you'll need to get to Utah?

Susan interfered with a family reunion.

George Williams had never been lucky in love.

It seemed that the women he dated always invented reasons not to consummate their relationship.

Um, I'm afraid we'd wake my roommate.

Uh, I have to get up really early for work.

I'm, uh, saving myself...

For... marriage.

Sadly for George, it was one unoriginal excuse after another.

But since he'd starting seeing Bree Van De Kamp, George couldn't help but feel...

Hi. The kids are gone.

We have the house all to ourselves tonight.

His luck was about to change.

I thought the duck turned out well, although the sauce was a little bit thick.

But judging by how many helpings you had, I think I got away with it.



What are you thinking about?

Your hair.

Would you mind if I...

Uh, no. Go ahead.

Is that better?

That was nice.

It's okay that I'm doing this, right?

Well, I thought we were gonna let the duck digest a bit more, but what the heck?


What's wrong?

I don't know. I felt something weird.

Oh, that was my tongue. It extends farther than most.

I should have warned you. No, no, no, it wasn't your kiss.

I felt something weird on my neck.

Wh-what are you doing?

I don't know. I'm just really starting to itch.


What is it?

Y-You've got a huge rash.

It's starting to spread to my face.

Are you allergic to something you ate?

Oh, I don't think so.

I mean, I've made duck I'orange a thousand times.

Something is causing that rash.

Bree, Bree, please don't.

I'm sorry, George, but you have to go.

But the kids are away.

I was sort of hoping we could make love tonight.

How are we gonna do that, George?

You have just given me hives.

Though painful to hear, George had to admit, at least this excuse was original.


It's a fact that little girls dream of big white weddings.

Of course, the exact same thing can be said for big girls, some of whom can get incredibly anxious waiting for the boys in their lives to make those dreams come true.

Aah! Oh. Watch it, susie.

Mom, why don't you just go see a dressmaker?

Wait. I have the perfect idea.

You get in the dress, and I'll pin it.

We wear the same size.

Since when?

Since forever.

You have to leave, though. You can't stay.

You can't see susie in a wedding dress, not untilyourbig day.

Mom! No, it's not a problem.

I can see her in it.

You can?

You can?

I assume you wanna pick out your own wedding dress when we get married, right?

That sounds like a proposal.

Did it?

Yeah, it did.

Huh. What do you know?

Are you planning to pop the question?

Well, if she knows it's coming, the question won't really pop, now will it?

He's right, mom. I want it to be just like you do...

You know, on your own terms, and you get down on one knee and the whole production. That's the plan.

Well, then I can wait. I can wait.

I'm a good waiter. Good.

I'm just wondering if there's a ballpark of how long I will have to wait... A week, a month, after lunch?

Again, you're not waiting for the pop.

Right, right. I'm sorry.


Oh, mom.

So the hives occurred right after you kissed George?

Yes. It was the strangest thing, and so inconvenient.

To be honest, I think we were about to make love for the first time.

Bree, have you considered the idea that your subconscious mind was trying to sabotage your evening with George?

Actually, I have not considered that because that's idiotic.

You don't think being with George made you feel a bit guilty? Why should I feel guilty?

Perhaps you felt you were about to commit adultery.

Dr. Goldfine, Rex is dead. You can't cheat on a corpse.

Well, maybe that's not how you really feel deep down.

Oh, so you think I'm crazy?

You say you got a case of hives for no reason.

I think there is a reason, and it's probably a psychosomatic one.

You can think whatever you want, but to be honest, I don't believe in the subconscious.

Every time you've said "Rex" in this session, you've stroked the place where your wedding ring used to be.

Why did you do that?

Let's talk about Monday.

We are re-pitching to the kamarov people.

Lynette, you'll be on point.

Great. Great. No problem.

And can you do me a favor and maybenotwear the green suit?


I... wasn't planning to, uh, but... why?

The fabric. It just has this quality to it, like you could... I don't know...

Wipe it clean with a damp cloth.

I'll just wear a different suit, then.


Like what, you think?

Another suit. I have other suits.

And if by other suits, you mean the gray one, then of course you do.

No, actually, I have quite a few others.

Uh, the blue one and, uh...

What's wrong with the blue suit?

Stu, would you like to tell Lynette what's wrong with the blue suit?

No. That's cool.

Stu... come on.

Do the thing...

The thing that you did at lunch.

"Look at me. I'm Lynette."

"I've got food stains everywhere."

All right. So if I get my blue suit dry-cleaned, will that be acceptable to everyone?

The pants also have a split seam in the back.

Excuse me.

Hello, David.

What the hell is this?

I thought I told you to dress maternal.

Yes, you did, and I considered it for about a second.

What happened?

David, I know you're the lawyer and all, but trust me, it's never a smart strategy to cover this up.

We've got 40 minutes before the pre-trial hearing.

Let's go home and get you changed.

What? You want to get your husband out of jail?

You gotta dress like a pregnant, suffering wife, not the cover of "vogue." David.

Louis, what are you doing here? I need a favor, David.

If this has to do with lifting my client's restraining order, the answer's the same one you got last week.

You don't understand. I love crystal.

Yeah, we all love the pretty ladies at the stop n' shop, but now you've gotta love her from 50 yards away.

You turned her against me. If it wasn't for you, we'd be together. Louis, crystal hired me to keep you away from her. She doesn'twantto see you.

Oh, yeah, then why did she ask for my phone number?

She's a cashier. You paid by check.

It doesn't make you special.

Don't walk away from me. We're having a conversation!

Louis, this is your problem.

You're creepy! Nobody likes you.

What you call a conversation the rest of us call harassment.

You want a friend, get a hamster.



Call the police!

Stay there!

That's right, you better run, 'cause I'm gonna get some bullets for this thing and come after you! Freeze!

Hey, everything's cool.


Are you okay?

Weeds are a common annoyance of life in suburbia, and no matter how hard we try to get rid of them...

They always tend to crop back up.

A-Are you seeing this?

I don't believe him. He is so brazen.

He's just mowing the lawn like nothing ever happened.

What should we do? Should we call the police? Well, Susan did say that he murdered Mrs. Huber, so my vote would be yes.

Oh, my god, Susan's home.

Has she seen Paul yet?

I think so.

Hello, Susan.

Oh, my god. Paul.

Need some help with those bags?

Why... are you doing here?

This is where I live. I came home to find my son.

Here you go. No, don't come near me.

I'm just giving you back your pie filling. I don't want my pie filling.

Oh, come on. Just take it. No, stop!

Put that pie filling down.


I'm calling 9-1-1. You don't want to do that.

Oh, I think I do. You're a cold-blooded murderer.

Susan, how can you believe that? We've been neighbors for years.

Ladies, good to see you.

Paul, we've called the police.

You didn't really need to do that.

We know what you did to Mrs. Huber.

Wonderful. I see you've all turned into Susan while I've been gone.

Oh, thank god. They're here.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, Mayer's convinced that Paul young murdered Martha Huber.

Oh, my god. I live right behind him.

I know. I gave him my house keys to feed my cat.

I win. I made out with him.

Here you go. There's no warrant here for a Paul young.

Why don't you ask Mike? He overheard everything, right?

Who's Mike? Uh, he's my boyfriend, and he told me that Paul confessed everything to him.

Oh, and Mike has Martha's journals, which clearly prove that Paul had a motive.

All right, all right, where do I find this Mike guy? Uh, he's... follow me.

You mind if I stay here? I've got a lot of raking to do.

Let's go.


What's going on?

Mike, Paul young is back.


Your girlfriend said Mr. Young confessed a murder to you?


No. No, not to me.

And I don't suppose you have a journal that belonged to a Martha Huber?

No. I hardly knew her.

Besides, you ever known a woman who'd loan out her diary?

Mike, what are you doing?

I'm sorry, Susan. I don't know what you're talking about.

But I've got a job to get to. Is there anything else?

No, no, that pretty much covers it.

Well, someone might as well say it.

Susan, what the hell have you been smoking?

Ahem. Okay.



Oh, my god.

Okay, don't be distracted by that. Look atme.

Here I am tomorrow, making my presentation.

You see? You see how it moves with me?

That's where themagicis.


Yeah, well, this one was the most expensive.

The other ones aren't as nice. But look.

Look, look, look, look at me, look at me. Watch.

I don't walk in it. I glide.

Um, honey, you know what?

There's gotta be like $3,000 worth of clothes here.

Yeah, well, I haven't bought a new suit in six years.

So? When I was working, you don't think I would have loved to have a designer suit?

I wore wash-and-wear so that we could live in a nice neighborhood, so we could take the kids on vacation every summer.

I mean, I made sacrifices. I'm willing to make sacrifices.

Great, well, let's start here, because this should cover a math tutor for Parker.

Whoa, hold on a sec.

Six months of preschool for penny.

All right, now you're being ridiculous. You know what? And the twins...

They're gonna need braces. That oughta make a dent.

Oh, no. Come on, Tom. Not this one.


You saw the walk, right?

You wanna see the walk again?

I'll tutor Parker myself.

Honey, that'd be great.

You also gonna take up home dentistry?

Fine. I'll take them back.

Could you step out for a minute, please?

I want to be alone with it for a little while.

Hi, it's Bree.

Hi. I was thinking about calling you.

I just got some new antihistamines in at the store.

I think they're really gonna help with your rash.

Well, great. Um, how would you feel about the two of us checking into a romantic hotel tomorrow?

What? Uh, i-I'd like that very much.

I will let you make all of the arrangements.

Something out of town would be nice.

Good night.

We need to talk. Where did you come from?

I'm sorry. I've been waiting for you.

I'm just a little upset because everybody thinks I'm crazy.

Can I at least get out of the truck first?

Yes, definitely.

I mean, I can understand why you wouldn't want the cops to know that you kidnapped Paul.

I mean, that definitely looks bad. Since I was on probation.

Well, right. I mean, there's that.

And in possession of a gun...

Well, okay... Which I held to his head.

So I violated my probation, committed a felony and coerced a confession.

If the cops found out about that, I'd be looking at 10 to 15 years.

But why don't you want 'em to know about Martha Huber's journal?

I mean, she says right in there that she was blackmailing Paul's wife.

She also says right in there that she was blackmailingyou for burning down Edie's house.


I forgot about that.

I just can't believe it.

I mean, there he is, a murderer, just living right on our street, and there's nothing we can do about it because you're a convicted felon and I burned down that stupid house. It's not fair.

I want Paul young gone as badly as you do, and he will be, but I also want to find Zach.

I think once Zach finds out Paul's here, I got a feeling he'll be back.

Well, that's comforting to know there's a silver lining.


What are you doing here?

Well, you protected me from a hail of gunfire, so I thought I'd stop by and give you a card.

You're my first visitor.

What do you mean, I'm your first visitor?

You've been here two days.

My office sent me flowers.

Oh. "Dear David", "who knew you could actually bleed?"

"Sincerely, your stunned co-workers."

Yeah, well, I'm a lawyer who got shot.

Everybody's cracking wise.

You're not gonna eat.

Uh, can't really cut yet.

Well, I'm not gonna let you starve to death.

Besides, you're gonna need your strength to get my husband out of jail.

You know, when I was waiting for the ambulance the other day...

I seriously thought I was gonna die.

I was scared.

Of course you were.


For what?

For not making any jokes.


Now... open up.


Thank you.

I'm glad that you could all make it here on such short notice.


Just follow this hallway straight down there and make yourselves comfortable.

For the good of their family, Lynette had made a promise to her husband...

And within ten days from the date of purchase, she intended to keep it.

Oh. That's a fantastic suit.

Oh. Thanks.

I'm flattered, really.

I mean, who knew that you cared so much about what I think?

I don't follow you.

Well, I make a few innocent comments, and you go out and buy yourself a gorgeous new suit.

Dance, puppet, dance.

Well, actually, this was already in my closet.

I just forgot about it.

Forgot? You forgot that you hadthatsuit?

Good morning. Hi.

I'm Lynette Scavo.

Now is everyone taken care of in terms of coffee and whatever else they may like? Great.

Well, then let's get started.

I will show you how kamarov vodka can expand its customer mindshare while still holding the line on marketing costs.

It's something we here at parcher and Murphy like to call "persuasive engineering."


Just hold on one second.


Ahem. You have a...

They put the price tags on the skirts these days, too, just so you know.

Look at that, everybody.

Lynette just bought herself a beautiful, brand-new suit.

Doesn't she look great?

Go on.


You may be seated.

Good to see you back on your feet, Mr. Bradley.

Whenever you're ready.

Thank you, your honor.

The defense moves to dismiss this case immediately on the grounds that the defendant...

Are you all right, Mr. Bradley?

I'm sorry, your honor. I just can't.

I just can't.

Mr. Bradley, do you need a recess?

What the hell's going on?

David, where are you going?

I'm sorry. I quit.

You can't just quit in the middle of a hearing.

I'd love to get your idiot husband out of jail, but I just can't do it. I'm sorry. Yeah. Why not?

Because I'm in love with you.


The other day in the hospital, I started to feel something.

I don't know. Maybe it was there all along.

But when I look into your eyes, I know you feel it, too.

We belong together.

Okay, David, if you don't get back in there right now, I will go get a gun and shoot you myself.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

Come in!

We need to talk.

Oh! Oh! Uh, uh...

Paul, you... you can't just waltz into people's houses.

Susan, you told me to come in.

Well, that's 'cause I assumed you were someone I would let in my house.

What do you want?

I was looking through my mail, and I found this.

I was surprised to discover that you were looking for my son.

You didn't happen to find anything out about where Zach might be, did you?

No. No, I didn't.

Sorry I can't help you out.

I'm asking because if you remember, Zach hid here in this house before, and now I learn that you've been searching for him.

Well, he's not here.


Well, maybe we should double-check.

But he's not here. I swear.

What are you grabbing for?

A knife.

I just want to slice some tomatoes.

I don't know how I know this, but I-I think that he's in Utah.

He... he took a bus to bountiful.

You have family there, right?

Okay, I gave him the bus fare.

You might want to be careful with that.

You seem a little jittery.

Look, I know the timing is bad.

Pretty bad.

I feel terrible.

How was I supposed to know that he would take a bullet and suddenly realize he's in love with me?

Okay, look, I know I pushed you into hiring that creep, but I promise I will do anything I can to fix this.

All right, go have sex with Bradley.


Well, that's what you want me to say, isn't it?

God, you guys are good. I mean, you set me up perfectly.

You think David and I planned this so we could sleep together?

Let's see. The guy tells me to my face that he wants to get into your pants, quits a week before my trial, and now you can't wait to doanythingto get him back?

Yeah. I'd like to go back to jail now.

How dare you think that of me?

I have been nothing but faithful to you!

Since you've been in here.

Save it. I know when I've been outfoxed, and please don't pretend that you're doing this for me, 'cause I'd rather rot in here. And you know what?

A lesser woman would let you rot in here, but I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction.

So you better start packing up your shanks or whatever you people make in here, because you're coming home with me!

I don't have any shanks.

Good afternoon. Checking in?

Yes. Reservations in the name of Williams... George Williams.

Let me get your paperwork.

So what do you want to do first?

I don't know. I thought maybe we could go antiquing.

I hear you have some lovely museums nearby.

Do you have any brochures?

Right over there, Mrs. Williams.

Oh, uh, she's not my wife.

I'm so sorry.

So I hear they have a terrific farmers' market nearby.

We should pick up some nectarines.


I can't.


I can't stay in a hotel room with you. Why not?

Because I am starting to get that rash again.

Well, I brought the antihistamines.

Oh, please. It's not gonna help.

George, clearly, this is psychosomatic.

We need to go home.

Bree, we just drove three hours to get here.

I know, and you have every right to be mad, but, George, I am really starting to itch.

Is there a problem?

Uh, no, there's no problem. Everything is fine.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Uh, uh, I'll get you your own room. George...

No, no, no. We can still have a nice weekend.

We'll just shift the focus to... antiquing.

Please. I mean, clearly, you didn't come here to shop.

No, I came to spend time with you...

Time that does not need to be spent in a bed.

Really? You mean that? You wouldn't mind?


You know what, George?

We're gonna have a great time, because there's tons of fun stuff we can do that doesn't involve sex.

You betcha.

While I take care of this, why don't you go get those brochures? Okay.

George, you won't believe it.

I just stopped itching.

How about that?

Nice suit.

Just hear me out.

I was gonna take it back, I swear. But?

But then I started thinking about it, and you know what?

I'll be damned if I'm gonna pitch to a roomful of people who are all wearing Armani and Vera wang while I'm standing there with 2-year-old breast milk crusted on my lapel. Lynette...

And you know what else?

I kickedassin that meeting because of this suit.

Lynette, it is a suit. Why are you so obsessed with it?

You can't explain obsession, Tom.

It just... is.

No, we are parents.

We can't afford the luxury of obsessions.

See? That's where I think we have been making a terrible, terrible mistake.

What is this?

Sometimes we just need to get something that makesushappy.

I know that sounds selfish, but I've been thinking.

It might make us better people and maybe even better parents.

No. No, Lynette, no. This is wrong.

Carbon... fiber... shafts.


I feel like a better parent already.

Oh, yeah.

So I was talking to one of the bellmen, and he said there's a place not far from here where we could go horseback riding.

Doesn't that sound like fun? George?

Wh-what? What? I'm sorry.

I was saying I think we should go horseback riding.

Oh, sure. That'd be great.

What's wrong?


I-I just don't think that we should risk you getting another rash.

Well, I'm not gonna get another rash just by holding your hand.

You never know.

Oh. Well, okay.

Hey, uh, I brought those antihistamines with me.

Maybe you should take a couple, just to see if it works.

Oh, I'm drinking wine.

I don't think you're supposed to mix pills with alcohol.

That's for people who are...

Who are about to use heavy machinery.

You don't plan on operating a forklift tonight, do you?

Well, you're the pharmacist.

If you think it's okay...

I do.

George, I can't feel my legs.

I know, sweetheart. Don't you worry.

I'm gonna take you to your room, and then we're gonna get you into bed. Okay.

Is she going to be okay?

Yeah, she's just had a little too much wine.

I don't think it was the wine, George.

I think it was the antihistamines.

She doesn't know what she's... we're good, thank you.


No, no, no, no, no.

I'll get those. You just relax.

I love you very much, Bree. You know that, right?

I know.

And I want more than anything for you to love me back.

Do you understand what I'm saying?


Hey there.

How you feeling?

Oh, okay.

Have you been sitting there all this time?

I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I stayed and watched you sleep.

Did I do anything embarrassing? Sometimes I snore.

No. No, you slept like an angel.

In fact, you were so beautiful and peaceful, I actually started to feel guilty.


Um, well, you know, 'cause I told you take those pills.

That chair looks so uncomfortable.

Why didn't you sleep next to me?

Well, you made it pretty clear that you don't want me in your bed.


I know what you want from me, and I thought I wanted the same thing, but I keep getting those rashes because...

I still feel married.

Makes sense, I guess.

Can't you just be patient?

Can't you wait just a little bit longer?

I've already waited my whole life for you, and I can wait a little more.


But let's be honest.

There's no guarantee that you'll ever be ready.

There's only so much rejection I can take.


I'll do my best, but... don't be surprised if one of these days you wake up and...

I'm not here.

Well, I should get back to my room, try to get a little sleep.

The antique stores open at 10.

George, wait.

Please don't go.

Stay here with me.

But what if you get another rash?

Well, I'll just... Have to get over it, won't I?


I got your call...


Does this mean what I think it means?

There are some ground rules first.

I'm not leaving my husband.

Carlos is looking at spending eight years in jail because of my lapse of judgment with the gardener.

I can't let him rot in there. I'd be filled with guilt.

You could get him out and then divorce him.

Not an option. I'm catholic, hence the guilt.

So what are our options?

This, us, stolen moments, seeing each other whenever we can.

Carlos never needs to know.


I thought this was what you wanted.

I want all of you.

All or nothing.

Then it's nothing.

So you won't get a divorce, but you'll have an affair?

I said I was catholic, not a fanatic.

You know, David, you could tell me to stop.

Just tell me to stop, and I will, or you can have me right now...

On my terms.

All right.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! What are you doing?

Making my point.

You don't love me.

Aah! Yes, I do.

No. You just agreed to an affair...

A cheap, illicit affair with the woman you "love."

Carlos would never share me.

He's looking at eight years in prison because the mere thought of it sent him into a violent rage.

Thatis love.

This is... this is just lust, mixed with posttraumatic stress.

I will see you in court tomorrow at 10 A.M.

And don't be late, or else I'll have you disbarred for sexual harassment.

I'd take it easy with that snail poison.

It's hell on your agapanthus.

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

Is that why you stopped by...

Share a few gardening tips?

Nobody wants you here, Paul, especially me.

I'm just a father looking for his son.

Oh, I know what you are.

First, your girlfriend tries to run me off with some crazy story about sending Zach to Utah.

Now you're here trying to scare me away.

So much for "love thy neighbor."

Anyway, thanks for the advice.

About my agapanthus, I mean.

I'll make sure I send you some.

What did Susan tell you?


You look beautiful.

Oh, you should really consider wearing this when you marry Mike.

We could make it a family tradition.

Why don't we both stop getting divorced?

That would be a nice family tradition. Oh.


I need to ask you something important.

Oh, my god!

Aah! This is it!

Oh! Let me get my camera.

Oh, no, mom, stop!

What is it?

Did you give Zach money to go to Utah?


Yes or no.

He was talking so much about Julie.

I tried to get him to come home with me...

I mean, to... to you, but he just kept going on and on about her, and I got scared.

Yes or no.


Mike. Mike, I didn't do it to hurt you.

You've gotta believe me. I...

I should have told you right away. I know that.

But you know now, so can we please talk about it? No.

Mike, stop.

Susan, you said you wanted to help me, and I believed you.

That's it. We're done.


No, no, no, no!

I screwed up, okay?!

I want to fix it! Please let me fix it!

Tell me how to fix it!

Mike... I love you.

Please, no, please.


No, Mike! Mike, please!

Come back!

Come back!

Yes, every little girl dreams of a big white wedding.

But some dreams just don't come true.