Desperate Housewives S4E9 Script

Something's Coming (2007)

Previously on...

Mrs. McCluskey had reached her limit.

Five kids are tough enough, but your husband makes six, and that's where I draw the line.

An old friend paid Adam a visit.

Sylvia. Aren't you gonna invite me in?

After you ruined my life? I don't think so.

You should've told the truth about us.

Mike got help...

From an unexpected source.

Victor! Victor lashed out...

Come on! Get up!

And Carlos and Gaby... We need to ask you a few questions.

Sorry. I guess I don't remember anything.

Finally met their match.

I remember everything.

It was supposed to be a beautiful day.

Kids should have been playing in the park.

Husbands should have been doing their chores.

Women should have been tending their flowers.

But at 2:26 that afternoon, a tornado came to Wisteria Lane...

Bringing with it...



No one could have anticipated it...

Especially given how the day started.

Sorry. Can you say that again?

I don't think I heard you right. Carlos and I are back together.

Gaby, you just got married.

And some of us gave you very expensive wedding gifts.

Uh, you want the fondue set back? Fine.

But don't act like it cost a bundle, 'cause it clearly didn't.

I got you the fondue set.

Oh. Right. It's nice.

Oh, my god. This is gonna kill Edie.

You would think so, but no such luck.

That vindictive hag told Victor everything. Victor knows?

Yeah, and seeing how he's the rich mayor of a small town with various thugs and cops at his disposal, Carlos and I thought it would be safer if we got the heck out of dodge.

You're leaving Fairview?

Yeah. This afternoon.


You can't be serious.

Look, we'll be back... Someday.

We just have to wait till this all blows over.

I can't believe this.

I know. This is... A lousy way to say good-bye.

And I'm sorry, but I don't have a choice.

Do you guys have any idea how much I'm gonna miss you?

Hey, you heard the news?

A tornado just hit mount pleasant, and they think we could get one, too.

Y'all better head inside and start getting ready.

Um, go. You guys go.

Yeah, and... and we don't need to say good-bye anyway, 'cause we're gonna see you real soon.

And everything will be just the way it was.

Sadly, this was not to be. Oh!

In four short hours, one of these women would lose a husband, and all of them would lose a friend.

But how could they have known this?

It was supposed to be a beautiful day.

By noon that day, a tornado watch was in effect on Wisteria Lane, and every one of its residents was preparing for the storm...

Everyone, that is, except Gabrielle Solis, who was more concerned about an other storm on the horizon.

Mayor Lang, recovering from his injuries, will reportedly be released from the hospital tomorrow.

Until then, the deputy mayor will be coordinating Fairview's emergency response as the city remains on tornado watch.

It has been over 50 years... I turned off the gas and locked your car in the garage.

I'm gonna go grab my passport from the safe-deposit box before they close the bank... We should understand is never underestimate the power of mother nature. What's wrong?

They said Victor's getting out of the hospital... tomorrow.

Relax. We're gonna be gone before they give him his last sponge bath.

And remember, the accountant's dropping off the papers for my Cayman island account. I can't deal with that right now. I'm packing.

Gaby, those documents give us access to $10 million.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I told you just to pack the essentials.

That's what I'm doing.

Is that a boa?

Carlos, if you are taking me somewhere where I don't need a boa, then I don't want to go.

Fine. You could be a little bit more sensitive.

I had to say good-bye to my friends today. Yes, I'm sorry.

And I should probably go over and say something to Edie.

Like what?

"Rot in hell, you maggoty whore"?

That woman ruined our lives.

If she had kept her mouth shut, we wouldn't be running away.

I know, but I can't help feeling a little guilty.

I mean, do you ever even think about what we did to Edie?

Who cares?! Thanks to her, I'm giving up my home, my friends, half my wardrobe.

So do me a favor and never mention her name again unless it's followed by the phrase, "that conniving skank."

Ya think you can do that?

Hey, Lynette.

Hi. Did you hear they declared a tornado watch?

Scary, huh? Yeah, well, don't worry about me.

I'm ready for anything.

It's sweet of you to drop by, though. Oh, yeah. Well, you're welcome.



Can we stay in your basement?


Well, if this tornado watch gets upgraded to a warning, we're gonna need a place to wait it out.

Who exactly is "we"?

"We"... me, Tom, the kids.

That family you've come to know and love.

All seven of you?


Well, first of all, I only love four of you.

And second, no way in hell.

Mrs. McCluskey, please?

It's a small basement, Lynette.

I've already invited Ida over.

We just wanna play some cards and wait this thing out in peace and quiet.

We can be quiet...

Relative to the storm.

Look, there's a shelter over at 3rd and grove.

Why don't you go over there? That's in the middle of skid row.

You think I want my kids around a bunch of winos?

Ida's off the wagon. It's not gonna be much better here.

I am asking you as a friend. Please?

You're not gonna let this thing go, are you?

Thanks. And don't worry. I'll have a talk with my kids.

I promise they'll keep a lid on the destruction.

Relative to the storm.

Yeah. Mm.

Dylan, we're fine. It's just a tornado watch.

No. We paid a lot of money for this class trip, and I want you to stay and enjoy it.

Tell Julie I'll keep an eye on her mom.

Gotta go.

What the hell are you doing here?

I just came to talk to Adam.

I like your hair long.

This is harassment.

I will call the police.

I don't think so.

You'd have to tell them what happened with me and your husband.

You don't want people knowing about that.

In case you'd forgotten, Adam wants nothing to do with you.


Didn't seem that way yesterday.

He didn't tell you I stopped by?


I hope he's not starting to keep things from you...


Here. I brought you a few things in case there is a tornado.

Wow. Tape, batteries, a radio.

How'd you know I need this stuff?

An educated guess.

Hey, actually, um, since you're here, I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to tell Orson about Mike's, you know...

Drug problem.

Good, because I already... Told him.

You did? When?

Last week.

I was afraid that Mike might go to Orson for pills.

I'm sorry, so...

Orson already knows about Mike?

Did I do something wrong?

No. No, you didn't do anything wrong.

Thanks for the supplies.

I don't believe a word you say.

So you still don't think I slept with Adam?

Of course not. Oh, well, let me paint a picture for you.

Me lying in his arms, him wondering out loud how he ended up marrying such a cold, hard bitch.

Katherine, are you all right?

I-I couldn't help noticing...

Of course you couldn't.

And everything's fine. Thank you.

Hi there.

I-I don't mean to intrude, but are you all right?

Not really, no.

Would you like a nice cup of tea?

The national weather service has extended the tornado watch to the tri-county area.

Funnel clouds have been spotted in the counties of Mansfield and Webster...

I can't believe you're being so nice.

You don't even know me.

Well, I know Katherine, and believe me, you're not the only person I've seen her reduce to tears.

Did you see her spit on me?

Yes. That was unfortunate.

If you need any antibacterial soap, I...

Nah, I'm good.

So, um, why on earth would Katherine treat you so dreadfully?

Oh, she's just mad 'cause her husband's in love with me.


I was one of his patients back in Chicago.

From the moment we met, there was this intense passion.

We tried to fight it, but we couldn't.

Well, you're only human.

I know he's miserable without me, even though she tries to pretend that they're happy.

I mean, you're their neighbor. You think they're happy?

Well, they seem... Content.

Well, they're not.

It was just an observation.

Yeah, a stupid one.


This has been... lovely.

We really should, um, do it again sometime.

You think I'm making this up?

We were lovers. I can prove it.

He has a snake tattoo on his right shoulder.

I licked it.

Be that as it may, I really think you should go now.

No one believes me! She has you all brainwashed!

Sylvia, where are you going?

Sylvia, you need to come out of there.

Ask Adam! He'll tell you the truth! Well, Adam is not here, and there is a tornado coming. And as you may have gleaned from the batteries and bottled water, that bathroom is where we are planning on riding it out.

So would you please be a dear and come on out?

Go get Adam!

And... open wide.

Orson, we need to talk.

Susan. I'm with a patient.

Yeah, I can see that.

Hi. I'm his neighbor. Cute shoes.

Why the hell would you give Mike drugs? Uh...

Mrs. Kowalsky...

We're gonna step out for just a moment.

No need. I'll be quick.

'Cause I'm sure you have a very good reason for giving Mike pills when you know that he has a drug problem.

So... what is your very good reason?

Okay, this may take a while. You might want to spit.

Mike was having a lot of pain with his shoulder.

Oh, of course, and you know all about shoulder pain...

Being a dentist.

I thought I was helping.

By giving pills to an addict?

Does that sound helpful to you, Mrs. Kowalsky?

Thank you. Finally, some sanity.

Susan, you have to leave.


But you know, if I find out that you have given Mike so much as a breath mint, trust me, there is not enough novocaine in this office to numb the pain I will inflict on you.

Hi, miss Britt.

You need some bottled water before the storm hits?

Well, thanks, Jeremy.

20 bucks.

Hold it.

You are price gouging right before a tornado?

I was just trying to make some money.

You really wanna make some money?

Go hit up Gabrielle Solis.

She hasn't met a price tag she didn't like.

I already tried.

She and Mr. Solis are moving.


Yeah. They're loading up their car and everything.

They didn't tell you?

Well, they probably didn't want a big emotional scene.

Too bad.

What was I supposed to do, Mike? Leave 'em in your truck?

I'm not gonna sit back and watch you spin out of control.

Out of control? Have I ever missed a mortgage payment? What?

Or disappeared for days on end, or o.D.'D in an alley?

No. I go to work every day. I help out around the house.

I take care of you and Julie. What's the problem?

What's the problem? Let's see. You lied to me.

Uh, your drug dealer almost dated my daughter.

You lied to me some more, and then I find out that you hit up my best friend's husband for more pills.

You're blowing this out of proportion.

And you're kind of yelling at me... also a problem.

I'm sorry. I'm in pain.

You might think you have things under control, but they're only gonna get worse...

And with a baby on the way. I'm sick of explaining myself.

If I need a pill now and then, I'll take one.

So where are they?

I'm serious, Susan. Give 'em to me. Forget it.

Hey, don't walk away from me! Susan! Let go of me!

Aah! Oh!

And we are now getting reports of two more tornadoes touching down outside mount pleasant.

We can confirm 6 dead and more than 200 injured, with the total only expected to rise...

My wife needs to be seen immediately.

She's pregnant. She fell down the stairs.

Any bleeding? Uh, no.

Cramping? Uh, I think I just twisted my ankle, but I would like to get checked out anyway. Sure, but for non-emergency cases, it's gonna be a long wait.

Well, she's pregnant. Doesn't that make it an emergency?

Sir, I'm sorry. You're just gonna have to wait.

It's okay.

How could you not have told me Sylvia was here? I was trying not to upset you.

Well, you failed.

At least if you had warned me, I wouldn't have been blindsided when she showed up on our front lawn. I'm sorry.

Look, I'll call the police. I'll get a restraining order.

I'll do whatever it takes to get this woman out of our lives.

Bree. Hello.

Hi, Katherine.

Could I borrow Adam for a second?

I have a... Situation on my hands.

She's over there, first door on the left, and please hurry.

What is she doing there in the first place?

I saw her weeping. I wanted to help.

You wanted dirt, and I'll bet she told you plenty.

I can't help having a sympathetic face.

Sylvia? I need you to come out here, okay?


Is that you, darling?

Don't call him that!

Katherine?! I'm not coming out if she's here!

I'm not leaving you alone with my husband.

Just come out! I'll get rid of her!


So what'd she tell you?

That she had an affair with Adam.

Well, she didn't.

She was his patient...

A pathetic, lonely woman.

One day, for no other reason than sheer pity, he gave her a little kiss.

Sylvia took this to mean that they were in love.

And when Adam told her otherwise, she had a breakdown and accused him of sexual assault.

Oh, my god.

What did you do?

We settled out of court.

I wanted to fight it, but Adam was afraid of losing his license.

Of course, we lost everything else...

Our home, our... Savings and our friends.

So this is why you moved back to Fairview?

It was supposed to be our fresh start.


Now you know our dirty little secret.

Well, Katherine, for what it's worth...

I would've spit in her face, too.

What's that noise? Is... is that the tornado?

Worse. It's the Scavos.

Hey, we're here! I know!

All right, guys. Come on. Stake out your places.

This is our spot! We called it! You can't call a spot this soon!

Can so!

Ow, my head!

Lynette? I'm begging.

Oh. Sorry. Kinda get used to it.

Come here. Give that to mama.

Hey, guys? Come on now.

Knock it off. Here you go.

And... first base, second base, third base, sit.

We gonna have a nice, quiet tornado watch, and nobody's gonna cause any problems. Is there a cat here?

Oh, yes. I brought Toby.

Is something wrong?

I didn't realize there'd be a cat.

Tom's really allergic.

It sets off my asthma.

Ida, is there any chance that we could put little Toby upstairs?


Yeah. He'd be very safe. We could put him in a closet.


Why don't we put penny with him, since it's safe?


Toby is Ida's baby, Lynette.

No, Toby's an animal, and my husband, a human being, will get very sick if he stays down here, so, please, put the cat upstairs.

Look, I invited Ida to come here.

You, I'm doing a favor for.

If you're not happy with the accommodations, you're free to leave.

Hey, I'll just stay over here.

May... maybe it won't get any worse.

No, that's ridiculous.

Karen, come on.

Sorry. The cat stays.

Knock yourself out.

Start him on I.V. I'll be with you in one minute!

Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just worried about you.

How long are they gonna keep us waitin'?

Are you sure that's all it is?

Hey! Hey, we were here way before these people.

Sir, they're seeing everyone on an emergency basis.

This woman is hemorrhaging. Danny, can you take her in?

What, you gotta see blood before you'll treat somebody?

My wife's pregnant, and she fell down a flight of stairs. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you to be patient.

These people are bleeding. I can absolutely wait. I'm just asking them to take a look at you, okay?

Hell, you could've done it while you're standing here talking to me, right? Sir, we'll get to your wife as soon as we can.

Now please take a seat. Just take a look at her!

Get the hell off of me! Mike, stop!

Whoa! Uhh! I need security here now.

Hey, we need help here!

Dr. Roth, blood lab 7.

Dr. Roth, blood lab 7.


When you gonna let me out of these things?

When your wife's done and you're ready to go home.

The doctor said the baby's fine.

Oh, thank god.


And, uh, your ankle?

Just a mild sprain.

How you doing?

I've had better days.

I am so sorry.

It's gonna be okay.

I talked to the doctor, and, um, they have a rehab facility they work with.


I don't need rehab. I can kick this myself.

I've done it before.

You keep saying that, and it just keeps getting worse.

Susan, look at me.

I'm handcuffed to a chair.

I think I've hit bottom here.

I will fix this.

Just no rehab.

Mrs. Delfino?

The doctor asked me to give you these, for the pain.

Oh, my god. Are you kidding me?

I've kind of had a rough day here.



I've just gotta get through this.


There's no tomorrow. It's now.

You will quit this now.

You will go to rehab, or so help me, I will leave you.

I will take this baby, and I will leave you.

You win.

I'll go.


Excuse me?

Sorry. I'm in a rush.

My wife's alone with the kids, and I have to get home before the storm hits.

This is the information Carlos asked for.

About what?

About the Cayman island account.

Didn't he tell you I was coming?

Yeah, of course he did.

Uh, he said you'd be stopping by.


This is everything you need to access the money.

I washed my hands of this, so whatever you do, don't lose that folder. Got it? Believe me, I won't let it out of my sight.

All right. Nice to finally meet you, Gabrielle.

You're just as pretty as Carlos said you were.

Oh, no.

I'm prettier.

Edie, what have you got there?!

Oh, crap!

Residents are advised to seek shelter at once.

Again, do not evacuate.

Stay where you are and seek shelter in a basement or any windowless room.

You okay?

My throat is closing up. I think I gotta go upstairs.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

You stay here.

Edie, you thief! Open this door now!

I've called the police!

They're on their way, and they are going to taser your ass!



Oh, good. You're home.

Lynette! What...

What the hell did I tell you?!

I'm not gonna sit and watch my husband suffocate.

Well, I don't want Ida to wake up and find her cat missing.

Karen, after all our years of friendship, how can you choose a cat over my husband?

You think we're friends?

Of course.


You ever stop by just to say hi or invite me for a cup of tea?

Ida does. What are you talking about?

I had you over for lemonade last week. While I was drinking it, you went to the store, and I watched the kids.

Face it. The only time we're friends is when you need something. That is not true. I genuinely care about you.

You mean like today, when you came by to check on me?

Oh, that's right, you only wanted a basement, Oh!

Damn it, Toby!

Hey, hold it! Hold it! You can't go out there!

That stupid cat is the only family that Ida's got!

Now this is what friends do! Karen!

Give me the damn folder, Edie! Not gonna happen!

It's worthless to you! Oh! You and Carlos are screwed without it, and that is worth a lot to me. Give me my money!

Ah! Your money?

Carlos embezzled it.

Oh, now you're moral all of a sudden?

You didn't care where the money was coming from when you thought Carlos was gonna spend it on you!

Okay, I'm not unreasonable.

Cut me in for, say, 60%, and I'll go away.

How's that sound?



Get you!


Edie! Give me that!

No! Let go! No, you!

Let go!

You! Aah! Oh! Oh! No!


What did you do?!

What did you do, Edie?!

Get in the house.





Karen! You gotta get inside now!

He's right there! Damn it!

I'm not gonna let you die, so don't make me drag you!

Oh, crap.

Oh! Hurry! Go! Go!


No! Come on! Come on!

Come on, come on!

Get in!

I have a crawl space.

I think we can both fit.


You just threw my money in a tornado.

I am not getting in there with you.

Fine! Then stay out there and die.

Move your ass! Oh!

Come on, Sylvia.

Please open the door.


Thank god you're here. We need to get into the bathroom.

We can't. There's a woman in there.

Well, tell her to hurry it up.

No, no, no, she's barricaded herself in there.

She's a patient of mine who's had a little meltdown.

Just give me five minutes. We don't have time. There's a funnel cloud out there.

Sylvia! Open the damn door!

Go to hell!

Quick! In here, in here.

Come on.

Quickly. Quickly.

Come on! Hurry up!

Go! Get in, get in! Get in!

Uhh! Hang on! Hang onto this!

Can I say something?


I'm sorry Carlos and I lied to you.

I know we hurt you, and I wish it didn't happen the way it did, and I-I just want you to know that.

Why are you talking like that?

Well, I thought just in case we...

Oh, no, you don't. You just shut the hell up.

We're not doing deathbed confessions here.

We're gonna get through this.

I'm gonna go on hating you for years to come.

You really hate me?



It's just that I really let myself fall for him, which was stupid because I always knew that he'd go back to you.


Well, I'm still sorry, though.

I said shut the hell up.

I think it's possible Benjamin might need changing.

That went beyond the hypothetical a good ten minutes ago. We're giving you shelter. You could at least be gracious.

We wouldn't need shelter if you hadn't dragged us over here.

Oh, so now it's my fault that that lunatic commandeered our safe room?

If you hadn't been dying to know our business, she wouldn't have gotten in there. Can we stop pointing fingers?

This isn't Bree's fault.

You're right.


But you can understand why I'm upset, having that insane woman back in our lives.

I can only imagine.

I had to listen to her babble for an hour.

What kind of things was she saying?

She said that she and Adam were lovers and she could prove it because he had a tattoo, and...


She said he had a tattoo on his shoulder, which I know isn't true because I've seen him at the pool, and I would've remembered because tattooed people make me very uncomfortable.

Did she say what kind of tattoo it was?

Um... a snake. What's the difference?

He doesn't have one.

He did...

Back in Chicago.

He had it removed.




So... that's why we settled?

Why we lost everything?

I'm sorry, but you have to understand...

No, I do not.


Not here.

Not now.


Change of plans!

We gotta get in the basement now!


Damn it. Where are you?

Where's Gaby?

I thought she was with you.

I don't know where she is.

I guess we'll have to wait for her together.

Do you mind if I say something?

Look, Gaby and I never planned to get back together, Victor.

We tried to keep away from each other.

We really did.

But... I don't know.

It's like we're two halves of the same person or somethin'.

And when we're apart, w...

We just aren't happy, which is why we...

We never set out to hurt you, Victor, and I'm sorry we did.

Are you done?


Come on, Carlos!

You better get in the house!

You could get hurt out here!







Where is everyone?!

Did you hear that?

Adam, I'm leaving!

This is your last chance to come with me, or I'm gonna tell everyone exactly what happened!


You've made your choice! Here I go!


It's here.



It was supposed to be a beautiful day.

But then the winds came and changed everything...

And not just the houses and the lawns.

Oh, my god.

The people had changed, too.

While the storm had raged, each of them had learned something...

About friendship...

And forgiveness...

And redemption.

And some had learned the hardest lesson of all...

That life is always fragile and very often...


Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

Tom! Help me!

Help me, Tom!