Distant Voices, Still Lives (1988) Script

The shipping forecast for today and tonight.

Iceland, Bailey, Faeroes:

Fresh or strong southwest Winds, with gales in North Iceland, at first.

Occasional showers with snow in the north.

Visibility otherwise good.

Fair Isle, Cromarty, Forties...

South-southwest gales spreading from the west with rain and moderate or poor visibility.

Shannon, Irish Sea, Fastnet, Lundy, Sole...

Fresh or strong. .. It's seven o'clock, you three.

Occasional rain or drizzle, visibility becoming moderate or poor with some fog banks.

Plymouth, Portland, Wight, Dover, Thames, Humber, Heligoland, East Dagger...

Light or moderate. .. Eileen? Tony? Maisie?

You'd better get your skates on.

Apart from coastal fog or mist patches morning and night...

Morning, Mam. Tony, are those two sisters of yours up yet?

Yeah, they're just coming down.

Oh, hiya Mam. Morning, Maisie.

Morning, Mam. Morning, honey.

Nervous love? A bit.

Have a cuppa and a ciggie I gel the blues when it's ram/fig The blues I can't lose when it rains Now each little raindrop Falls on my window pane Reminds me of the tears I shed The tears were all in vain So I sit and wait for the sun to shine To shine all my blues away It rained when I met you And it rained when I lost you So I get the blues when it rains

There's a man Going round Taking names There's a man Going round Taking names He has taken my father's name And he's left my heart in pain There's a man Going round Taking names Oh-oh Death is that man taking names

Oh-oh Death is that man taking names He has taken my brother's name And he's left my heart in pain There's a man going round Taking names There's a man Going round Taking names

I wish me dad was here.

I don't.

He was a bastard and I bleedin' hated 'im.

- Can I have the money to go to the dance? You get that cellar done. Never mind dances.

But Dad, there's rats down there. I'm terrified of rats.

No cellar, no dance.

Can I go to the dance, Dad?

Thanks.

You're just like your Auntie May!

Aaah! And she was no bleedin' good!

I don't half wish me dad was here.

Come out and fight me, you bastard!

Come out and fight!

Come out and fight me, you bastard!

You bastard!

Come out and fight!

Will you have a drink with me, Dad?

No.

Have a drink with him, Tommy.

Please.

I said... no.

Tuppence, that's all I've got.

But I wouldn't give you daylight


Come on, you little bastard!

Come on! Get in that van. Get in that van!

Are you ready, Ei?

Here goes.


Ah, he was all right your dad You were the only one who could get round 'im.

What'll you give us for them, Mr. D?

Micky, they're your dad's working boots.

I know, but we've just got to have five bob.

What for? Oh, Dad, we've just got to go to the dance.

I don't know.

You two are bleedin' dance mad.

Oh, go on, Mr. D.

Just five bob.

Don't be snidey.

All right.

I'll lend you the money.

But take the boots back home. OK?

Oh, thanks, Mr. D, you're a pal.

Thanks, Dad.

And be back here by 11.

Bleedin' dance mad.

How are we fixed for a few ciggies, Mr. D?

Out!

Eileen! It's nearly 11 o'clock OK, Dad. Just one last ciggie, Mr. D.

I'll be in in a minute, Dad.

You'll get me hung, you will.

Isn't it terrible the way we've got to be in by 11 o'clock.

I know. It's worse than Alcatraz, isn't it?

Eileen! I won't tell you twice.

Just a few more minutes, Mr. D, and she'll be in, honest.

Make sure it is only a few more minutes an' all.

I'm sure I'm getting a brain tumour.

Oh, Micky, behave, you're healthier than I am.

No, honest, kid. Me head's been banging for days.

Eileen! What bleedin' time do you call this? Blimey.

I'm coming, Dad, I'm coming.

See you, kid.

Look what he's bought me.

It's Chanel No. 5.

I know.

Oh.

Isn't that dead romantic?

Before you are joined in matrimony, I have to remind both of you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make.

This marriage is the union of one man with one woman freely entered into, for life, to the exclusion of all others.

Ah!

In you come, Maisie.

Smile.

Oh, oh!

Oh, what a gal There's none so classy As my fair lassie Oh, oh Oh, holy Moses, what a chassis She went riding She didn't fall From the country I was the one who had to walk If you knew Susie like I know Susie Oh, oh what a gal!

My Yiddisher momma...

I, eh! No. Order now.

I miss her more than ever now... Order... Go on, Maisie. Go on.

My Yiddisher momma I long to kiss her wrinkled brow I long to hold her hand As I did in days gone by And say I'm sorry For everything that made you cry How few were her pleasures She never cared...

I want me dad.

I want me dad!

In the bleak midwinter Frosty wind made moan Earth stood hard as iron Water like a stone Snow had fallen, snow on snow Snow on snow In the bleak midwinter Long Ago

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him Nor earth sustain Heaven and earth shall ere away When He comes to reign In the bleak midwinter A stable place sufficed The Lord God Almighty

Jesus Christ...

Say good night to your dad, kids.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, kids.

What can I give Him Woeful as I am?

If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb

If I were a wise man God bless, kids.

I would do my part Yet what can I give Him?

Give My heart Give My heart

Clean it up!


Play Limelight, Scouse.


That's it, Scouse. Give us a tune.

It was Schmeling, Scouse. You're wrong. Schmeling never won the title.

The heavyweight champions were...

Jack Sharkey, Primo Camera, Braddock, Baer...

No, I tell a lie, Baer then Braddock.

And then Joe Louis, who held that title till...

1948 from 1937.

Come on, Scouse.

It takes a worried man To sing a worried song It takes a worried man To sing a worried song It takes a worried man to sing a worried song I'm worried now, but I won't be worried long

Thanks for coming home, son.

I got compassionate leave, Mam.

Was...

wrong... lad.

OK, Dad.

OK.

So wherever she may be Go bring her back to me Roll along Roll along Kentucky Moon More band!

Whoopie!

I like pickled onions I like pickled cabbage Piccalilli is all right with a bit of cold meat on a Sunday night I like Tommy-a-toes But the best thing...

Your gran's in fine fettle. Just come back from the Isle of Man.

She should have stayed there. She's just like me dad and I bleedin' hate her.

Whoopie! More bleeding punch!

Don't fall, Mam.

Please don't fall.

Why did you marry him, Mam?

He was nice.

He was a good dancer

I hear those trumpets blow again All aglow again Taking a chance on love Here I slide again About to take that ride again Starry-eyed again...

No! Never be like that! No! Tommy, no!

Tommy, no! Please, Tommy!

Oh, Tommy, no!

Shut up. Shut up!

Aaah! Shut up, shut up!

Shut up!

I never would try But now I'm taking the game up And the ace of hearts is high Things are mending now I see a rainbow blending now We'll have a happy ending now Taking a chance on love


If anything happens to my mum...

I'll bleedin' kill you.

Go on, Masy, give us Barefoot Days.

Barefoot days When we were just a couple of kids Barefoot days And all the things we did We'd go down to a shady nook Use a bent pin for a hook And we'd fish all day, we'd fish all night But the goddamn fish refused to bite And then we'd slide Down someone's backyard door Slide and slide Till our pants was tore Then we'd have to go home We'd have to go to bed While our mother got busy with the needle and thread Oh, boy What joy we had in barefoot days

Make sure there's room in there.


Tommy, where are the kids? Where are the kids?


Come in. Come in.

Where the bleedin' hell have you been?

They're getting closer! They're gonna bomb us!

Sing, Eileen.

Sing.

Roll out the barrel We'll have a barrel of fun...

Roll out the barrel We've got the blues on the run Zing boom tararrel We'll have a song of good cheer Now's the time to roll the barrel Cos the gang's all here

How are you, Ei?

OK, Mam.

What's scarlet fever, Mam?

It's scarlatina, love.

Scarlatina.

Where's our Tony, Mam?


Why can't I come in, Dad?

There's no place for you here.

Frig off!


Can I stay here, Gran? You can have the sofa.

If I should die before I wake pray the Lord my soul to take God bless Mother, God bless Father, and keep them safe

If you look into a mirror after midnight...

you'll see the devil.

Oh, when Irish eyes are smiling

All the world is bright and gay In the "It of Irish laughter"

When Irish hearts are happy When Irish hearts are happy All the world is bright and gay In the "It Of Irish laughter

When Irish hearts are happy

R-A-G-M-O-P-P-P. Ragmop!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Ragmop!

God!

Isn't it hot?

I'm sweating past meself.

Oh, here's Red.

Oh, God, that's all I need.

Aw, he's harmless.

Hiya, Mick.

Oh, what you're throwing away.

God help him, the poor gobshite.

Do you remember Formby?

And that tent?

Oh, cor blimey.

I never! You did.

I never.

You did. I never.

You did fart!

Uh...

I never.

I thought you'd killed her, you know, Micky. I know. So did I.

When I think about it, I was a real cow with that mallet, wasn't I?

Do you ever see Jingles? No.

Not since she married Les.

It's wonderful!

It's marvellous!

Jingles, you came!

They tried to sell us egg foo yung!

So, how are you, kid? Smashing.

Are you still married? Oh, God, yeah.

Two kids and a radiogram to support.

You haven't altered, Ei. Still not a pick on you. Still eight stone soaking wet.

How do you do it? Witchcraft!

You're hooking with Mick. Oh Jingles, I'm in a worse state than Russia.

Do you know who I saw in The Swan last week? Jackie McGorrie.

Remember when...

Cos I love you that's why Whoa, it's Saturday That's why. Yeah, it's Saturday Cos I love you that's why Oh, kiss me, you fool That's why That's him.

Bet he's come in a taxi.

Well, you know these seamen.

Money's no object.

I've signed meself out of hospital.

I've walked home.

He's gone.

My Tommy's gone.


Won't you say ta-ra, Dad?

I'm only going for the season.

Do you know what?

If I ever get a gun, I'll blow your bleedin' brains out.

Ta-ra, Mam!

Bye, love!

Don't forget to write, now, will you?

Have a ciggie, kid.

I put a nickel in the telephone To dial my baby's number Got a brr-brr-brr-brr busy line Pwllheli, here we come!


Yes, please.

What would you like to order, sir?

Please come home, Ei.

Your dad's really ”I.

One?

OK.


East is east and west is west And the wrong one I have chose Let's go where they keep on wearin'

Those rings and things and buttons and bows Flowers and frills and buttons and bows Don't bury me in this prairie Take me where the ce-ment grows Let's get down to some big town Where they judge a gal by the cut of her clothes And you'll stand out in buttons and bows I love you in buck skin Or the skirts that you've homespun But I'll love you longer, stronger Where your friends don't tote a gun My bones denounce the buckboard bounce And the cactus hurts my toes Let's vamoose where gals keep usin'

Those silks and satins and linen that shows And you're all mine in buttons and bows Gimme Eastern trimmin' where women are women In high-silk hose and peek-a-boo clothes And French perfume that rocks the room And you're all mine Bows!

Well, Ei...

You're well and truly married now.

Yes.

But I don't feel any different, Maisie.

I don't feel any different.

Don't be worrying.

You'll be all right.

They soon grow up.

Maisie is engaged to George Roughley and I don't think it'll belong before our Tony marries Rosie Forsyth.

I'll leave the place till morning.

Ah ah


Aah aah aah aah aah-aah

Aah aah-aah

I love the light nights.

But they're starting to draw in now, aren't they Mam?

Yeah...

Nellie?

Sorry about the mess, Mam. Go on, you're all right. I'll see to it.

Ah thanks, Mam. See you Mrs. D. Ta-ra.

Enjoy yourselves!

You're married now! I'm your husband! Your duty's to me! Frig everyone else!

Monica, jingles! That's all ancient history now.

Come on. Up the dancers.

How much do you love me? A pound of sugar!

Hush a bowee, hush a bow Hush-a-bowee hush-a-bow Hush-a-bowee hush-a-bow Hush-a-bowee hush-a-bow

Good night Masy.

Good night, son.

The Sandman is coming.

How much do you love me?

Of one that is so fair and bright Velut maris stella Brighter than the day is light Parens et puella I cry to thee Thou see to me Lady Pray thy Son for me Tam pia That I may come to thee Aaah-aah-aah!

Maria...

What do you ask of the Church of God? Faith.

And what does faith hold out to you?

Life everlasting.

Do you renounce Satan? I do renounce him.

And all his works? I do renounce them.

And all his pomps? I do renounce them.

Are you willing to be baptised? I am willing.

Elaine, ego te baptiso... in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti Amen. Amen.

It's 12 o'clock, and for those of you with friends and relatives in Germany here's Jean Metcalfe on your behalf, taking over for Two-Way Family Favourites.

Hello everyone.

("Someone Broke Into My Heart")

And stole a beat or two The finger of suspicion points at you Someone took away my sleep and never left a clue The finger of suspicion points at you Just as soon as they can make the guilty one confess I know exactly what I'm gonna do

Wakey! Way-kee!

Good afternoon, everybody. This is Billy Cotton introducing another Billy Cotton Band Show.

Hey you! You down there with the glasses...

Meanwhile for those who can't read, here is a sort of radio show which is Beyond Our Ken.

Among those taking part are Wheelwright Amberley Grotefield, Mrs. Nift, The House of Commons yo-yo team...

George and Lin Brisket - sisters with a difference...

Coloratura soprano Mildred Gas Stove...

Bet she's got a good range!

To continue... you might have been listening to, or have just missed, Beyond Our Ken...

Could you make us a Lemon Dash, Tony?

Kenneth Home and also to Kenneth Williams, Hugh Paddick, Betty Marsden, Bill Pertwee...

There once was a little princess A sweet little lady, I guess Her birthday was near So I'd like you to hear Of the story of the Little Princess


You dreamboat You lovable dreamboat The kisses you gave me Set my dreams afloat

I would sail The seven seas with you Even if you told me to go and paddle my own canoe Sincerely I love you so dearly Say that you'll be mine for evermore

Have you come to mind the baby Doreen?

Yeah. Come in then, love.

Brown-skin girl stay home and mind baby Brown-skin girl, stay home and mind baby Brown-skin girl, stay home and mind baby Oh, I killed nobody but my husband He's stone-cold dead in the market He's stone-cold dead in the market He's stone-cold dead in the market Oh, I killed nobody but my husband Brown-skin girl, stay home and mind baby Brown-skin girl, stay home and mind baby I'm going away on a Harrison boat And if I don't come back Stay home and mind The baby!

Oh my what a rotten song What a rotten song what a rotten song... A rum and black, a Shandy.

Oh my what a rotten song... A Black & Tan, pint of mild, pint of bitter.

And what a rotten singer too! Pint of mixed. Thanks, love.

Hello, George. We've come to wet the baby's head.

Hello. What's it like being a dad, eh? Made up.

What are you having?

When that old gang of mine Get together On the corner of my home town We were friends in the past And our friendship will last Till the curtain of dreams comes down When that old gang of mine I borrow 25 pounds from the Lehigh & Lend every Christmas then pay it back over the next 12 months.

It's like a tontine, really.

Royal Liver. Come in, Mr. Spaull.

Can I surrender the policies on the two girls, Mr. Spaull?

Certainly, Mrs. Davies.

You've had these some time now, haven't you?

Since they were babies.

But as they're both married now, there's no point in keeping them on.

All right, Mrs. Davies.

I'll take them into the office for you.

Thanks, Mr. Span“.

Ta-ra. See you next week.

Tony? Yeah?

I'm just running to confession. Will you pay the club man for me if he comes?

OK, Mam.

That old gang of mine Gets together Well, there's never a care Or a frown We will sing Sweet Adeline Say goodbye to Add Lang Syne On the corner Of my home town And how much did she weigh? Just over seven pounds.

She was a big baby, wasn't she? Yeah.

Did you have her at Mill Road? Yeah, on the 6th.

What have you called her? Elaine.

Aw, God love her.

How do you like being a gran, Mrs. D?

I wouldn't be without her. Well, she's me first.

Well Maisie, I'd better be making tracks. Thanks for coming, Margie.

I'll see you. See you, Maisie.

See you, Mrs. D. Ta-ra, love.

You've known Margie for some years now.

Yeah. We've all been mates since school.

Marge, mess“ and Vera Large.

Vera's a nice girl, isn't she? Aw, smashing.

Maisie Davies, you dirty mare.

Oh, hiya, Micky.

Hiya Mrs. D. You're looking well, Mick.

I know. The face that launched a thousand ships.

The other way. That's wicked, that.

Being married to you. No wonder me poor face is destroyed.

If I'd played me cards right I'd be in America now.

Remember that Yank I went outwith, Mrs. D? He thought I had lover eyes.

Hated the rest of me, but thought I had lovely eyes!

And I end up by falling for a dwarf.

There's no justice you know, is there?

Chocolate eyes Those great big chocolate eyes!

Get your hands off my body.

You have only got one tonsil, but I love you all the same.

Don't make mock of Mick, you bastard!

Now, you know you love the bones of him, really.

Oh-oh-oh!

The walking hormone? Oh, you fool!

A Pound a man, is it? Here you are, Mick.

Sit here.

Thanks, Dave.

Go the match yesterday? Oh, you're not talking about football again?

Behave, will you?

Football mad.

Aren't they all? Look at that thing I'm married to.

He gets more worked up over a set of fixtures than me in me nude.

Do you know what? If I was a centre forward, I'd be laughing.

What are you having, blossom? A rum and pep, love.

And then you. He should be so lucky!

Eh, Dave, will you get us some ciggies?

Craven A? Or Park Drive.

OK.

What's your poison, Red? A bitter, thanks, Dave.

The League Division One.

Birmingham City three, Manchester City three.

Fulham three, West Bromwich Ahbion two.

Preston North End two, Blackpool three.

Everton two, West Ham United nil.

Leicester City nil, Leeds United two.

Manchester United three, Nottingham Forest one.

Brighton...

Any luck?

No, I couldn't pick me nose. Bristol City three, Hull City One.

Charlton Athletic nil...

If you want me, I'll either be at May Tobin's or at The Grapes.

In Phythian Street?

Yeah.

Hey, Gran! Have you got a shilling for two tanners?

There's enough money in the meter.

She never haves enough gas and the bleedin' thing always goes.

Well...

Here you are, love. I've got one.

No.

Thanks, Mam.

Isn't she an old cow?

How can you live with her, Ei?

Beggars can't be choosers, Maisie. You know how hard it is to get a place of your own.

Did you get anything for a sarnie, love?

Yeah, I got a quarter of corned beef and a loaf.

Oh, and four Devon Delights.

I've just made a pot of tea.

Has she been good, Mam? Good as gold.

And it's Come To Daddy, striding away now towards the line, Seascape in second place, Bali Hai is third and these are well clear of the remainder, All Serene running into fourth place.

But Come To Daddy is the winner. Seascape is second, Bali Hai is third and fourth All Serene.

And so the result of the 1959 Cesarewitch is first, Come to Daddy, owned by Mr. TH Farr, trained by Wilfred Lyde and ridden by Doug Smith.

Second was Seascape, owned by Mr. Jim Jewell, trained by Jed Leader and ridden by claiming apprentice Ron Singer.

- And third was Ball' Hall .. We're back!

Any pea whack, Mam? Yeah, I've made a pan.

Did you back the winner? The donkeys I do?

It had three legs. It's probably still running.

Was All Serene...

Your tea's in the oven, son.

Are you going to come and have yours, Mam? I'll be in in a minute lad.

OK, Mam.

She was a girl and the only girl her daddy ever had A real old-fashioned girl, with eyes so true I could love nobody else but you Oh-oh-oh, I want a girl Just like the girl that married dear old dad

Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, very much.

Come on, Les, just one drink. All right, just one, to wet the baby's head.

But we're not staying here all fucking night. OK, Les, OK.

Seen it on telly.

She wouldn't let us out.

Hiya. Hello, love.

Hiya, Les, mate. Having a bevvy or what?

A pint of bitter, and a gin and orange for her.

I've got it. I've got it.

So, how's it going, Red?

We're all together again, so here we are We're all together again, so here we are And the Lord knows when We'll be together again We're all together again, so here we are I'd give the world to start all over Back in the old routine To live my life in fields of clover Back in the old routine Give me an old straw hat and a double truckin'

Down the avenue...

Oh, Jingles, don't get so upset Aw, come on.

No, I'm all right, honest.

It's just Les. You know what he's like when he turns.

The bastard! For two pins, I'd go over there and tell him.

No, don't say anything. They're all the same When they're not using their big stick, they're farting. Aren't men horrible?

Come on!

Oh you're not going are you, Jingles? I think Les wants to.

But you've only been here five minutes.

Come on.

I feel like going over there and bursting him.

I'd better go, Ei. See you, Micky.

Never mind, girl. See you, Tone.

Poor Jingles.

You sit there. It's none of your business. Don't get involved.

You callous bleeder! That's my friend, that.

You men, you're all the bleedin' same. Only think of yourselves.

Don't you tell me what I think. No-one knows what's going on inside my mind.

Including you.

Heck, heck! What's going on? Nothing.

You know how she flies off the handle! I don't.

I've got good cause to, you shit-house!

Now, come on, we don't want any upset.

OK, Mam. OK, Nell.

We're here to enjoy ourselves.

Come on, Micky, give us a song.

Pack up all my care and woe Here I go singing low Bye-bye, blackbird...

Oh, cor blimey! You're not singing again, are you, Mick?

Listen, Bloated Tonsils, just cos you're dead miserable, it doesn't mean the rest of us have to look like 'Keep death off the road'.

Judy Garland. In bad health.

Oh, me arse!

I wanna be around To pick up the pieces When somebody breaks your heart.

Go on, Ei, I love this.

Somebody twice as smart As I I wanna be around To see how she does it When she pulls your heart to bits To see how that puzzle fits So fine And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet When I'm sitting there, applauding, from that front-row seat When somebody breaks your heart Like you Like you broke mine Ah, great. Thanks, Ei.

Here, new take that crisis what cropped up between Ron and Eth last Friday.

And when I say 'crisis' Ted I mean it was a real crisis, especially as far as Eth was concerned.

(Em Oh, Ron.

I don't know.

It seems to have got so much worse these last few weeks.

Somehow I just can't seem to get you out of my mind day or night.

You've become a sort of... ache.

Have you got to make that noise when you eat?

What noise?

Cor blimey!

What a future I've got to look forward to.

25 years with Mouth Almighty.

You know it's... It's the romantic side with us.

It's the kissing and the...

You know...

I've switched the light off.

I don't know whether I'm doing right or wrong.

How's your precious one?

Who the bleeding hell was that?

Uncle Ted.

Me dad's brother.

God blimey.

What a family I've married into.

A crowd of nutters.

He frightened the bleeding life out of me.

This is your storyteller, The Man in Black...

Teddy! Stop acting soft.

Norah!

Hey, Norah!

All right, Moggie? How are you?

Can I have two halves of Shandy, a Matise, a Double Diamond, a pale ale and lime, er, a Black & Tan, a pint of mix, a rum and pep, a rum and blackcurrant, and a Guinness?

Oh, and have one for yourself, love. Thanks, Tone.

Nervous, love?

But everybody feels nervous on their wedding day.

When Johnny Dunn was 21 He used to dine at each cafe He loved the ladies, so they say That's why he dined at each café His father's got, now, what has he got?

An awful lot And that's not good for young Johnny When he said, 'Go to work, my son'

What did he say? Johnny said, 'I'm having too much fun'

I love the ladies, I love the ladies I wanna be among the girls And when it's five o'clock and the tea is set I'm wanna have my tea with some brunette I love the ladies, I love the ladies I love the tall ones, short ones Mm, God bless 'em The world can't turn around without a beautiful girl I'll get 'em now I'll get 'em now All right, Mam.

Come on, Mick.

All right. In just a minute. I'll finish me drink.

Let me have your glasses please! Mick, come on.

Ignore him.

Come on, Kemo Sabe!

All right, Tonto!

Oh, men! Don't they mither?

Is he still handy around the house? Joking, aren't you? Won't do a tap.

He changed a nappy once. Nearly had a nervous breakdown.

I'd better go, otherwise he'll get a cob on. You're not frightened of him?

Am I shite! He looks at me the wrong way, I give him a dog's life.

Come on, now. Let's have your glasses please!

We're on the road to anywhere With never a heartache and never a care We've got no home, we've got no friends We're grateful for everything the good Lord sends We're on the road to anywhere...

Eh! You're telling me.

If I was manager of that team, I wouldn't change nothing, nothing.

He hasn't been for three weeks. The man hasn't been for months.

There's room there for improvement.

There's always room for improvement.

Red? Red!

See what I mean? Doesn't take a blind bit of notice.

It's like talking to a corpse.

Eh, soft shite!

You said you wanted to go, before.

It's worse than the bleeding Gestapo, this is.

I can have a talk, can't I? Ooh, God help us, it's alive!

Men! The little dears!

So don't be a stranger, otherwise I'll not see you till next Preston Guild.

We're only in Jubilee Drive. You're only ten minutes away.

We'll see.

I'll try and come round.

Or maybe I could come to yours. You're living in Vane Street, aren't you?

Oh, you'd better not, Micky. He's funny about having visitors.

OK.

Then you try and come to me.

We'll see, kid.

Well...

I'd better get Father Feck home.

Come on, Trigger, back to the reservation.

See you, Micky. Ta-ra, lads.

Come on, Ei.

Barney Google! The fellow with the googly eyes so will I Singing I will, if you will, so will I Singing I will, if you will I will, if you will...

I have had a ball!

Do you have to shout? You'll wake the dead.

Is that you, Eileen? Oh, God, blimey, you have!

Yeah, it's only me and Dave, Gran. We'll be in in a minute.

I want a wee. Oh, then do it over there and be quick.

Up a lazy river By the old mill run Oh, suffering Jesus!

That's all we need, you singing.

As if life isn't purgatory enough without that.

That lazy, lazy river In the noon-day sun

Eileen! It's late OK, Gran, we won't be much longer.

Come on, dead hake. Hurry up.

And be quiet!

A lazy, lazy river In the noon-day sun Eileen! Make sure that door's locked Wouldn't this put years on you?

OK, Gran.

I'm sure I was put on this earth just to be tormented.

Get in!

Up a lazy river...

And be careful.


How are you, love?

I fell off the bleeding scaffolding, Maisie.

Oh, George.

George.


Oh, Tony.

Oh, son!

Well... are you ready?

Yeah.

Fighting fit.

They're dead fiddly, these, aren't they?

Yeah.

Get the carnations from Annie Gaffney? Yeah.

There you are.

Well, let's be having you.

Are we all ready?

Well, sun bun, mustn't keep the bride waiting.

No, cor blimey. I'd never live it down.


I, Thomas Anthony, take thee, Rose I, Thomas Anthony, take thee, Rose To my wedded wife To my wedded wife To have and to hold To have and to hold From this day forward From this day forward For better for worse For better for worse For richer for poorer For richer for poorer In sickness and in health. In sickness and in health.

Till death do us part. Till death do us part.

And thereto I plight thee my troth. And thereto I plight thee my troth.

Ego conjungo vos in matrimonium.

In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.

Amen.

Amen.

For all you mean to me My thanks to you For every memory My thanks to you My thanks for everything we had to share For all the joy you brought when you were there These foolish words of mine Can never say How slow the hand of time Now you've all gone away As years go rolling by My whole life through I give my love And all my thanks To you

I got into a boxing ring with a fella...

Dad, you're not going to sing that old bleeding thing?

Come on. Let's have some records.

Come on, Mam. Come on, girl.

Good night, Nell. Good night, Dave.

See you tomorrow, Mam.

OK, Ei.

The water is wide I cannot get o'er And neither have I wings to fly Give me a boat That will carry two Then both shall row My love and I

Oh, down in the meadows, the other day A-gathering flowers, both fine and gay A-gathering flowers, both red and blue I little thought What love can do

I leaned my back up against some oak Thinking that it was a trusty tree But first it bended and then it broke And so did my false love to me

A ship there is and she sails the sea She's loaded deep, as deep can be But not so deep As the love I'm in I know not if I sink or swim

0, love is handsome And love is fine And love's a jewel While it is new But when it is old It groweth cold Then fades away Like morning dew