Dog Eat Dog (2016) Script

You think that your five-foot-four kindergarten teacher is gonna...

Who is, uh, I don't know, 62, is gonna pull out her AK-47?

Well, not every single person has to be armed and use a gun, but the more people that have them makes the world a safer place.

So that's a heck of a long barrel.

Let me ask you somethin', okay?

Just in the world and life, what do you need a barrel that long for?

Great question.

How 'bout it's two o'clock in the morning and some methed-out lunatic is trying to break into your house to rape and murder your kids?

What do you do then?

You ever read the Second Amendment?

What does it say, really?

In a well-regulated militia.

You in a militia?

Hey, Vladimir Putin may come here, take off his shirt, and they have to do something.

Hey, Melissa, what's going on?

I thought we were doing homework together.

I've got some serious issues with this cupcake experiment...

This gun is more powerful. What if he's 50 yards down the pike?

Hit you in the back?

Or a half a mile or a mile with a para...

The reason why police officers have guns...

Is he gonna come in the house with this gun?

Is he gonna come in the house with this gun?

Fuck! Fuck!


Yes, may I speak to John Aloysius McCain of 550 Maple Avenue, please?

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm on disability and I can't give you any money.

Oh, that's okay, sir. We're not looking for any donations.

I just wanna get to know you somewhat.

For instance, what do you do for a living, Mr. McCain?

I... I gut fish.

These cupcakes are killing me.

I am totally not able to get the cupcake experiment on.

I work in a cannery and I got a special knife to gut fish.

Well, that is interesting.

It's like bird cupcake factory time.

Listen, can I call you back in a minute?

No, sir, we can't do that. I just am surprised is all.

Wait, what?

I just didn't know people still had that job of guttin' fish anymore.

I didn't know they still had the job of callin' people at dinner and buggin' the shit out of 'em, motherfucker!


People at the job, they go off the deep end.

And then what happens?

Whether they're ten years old or 50 years old, they reach for that...

Take these. Oh, thanks for the help.

Oh, shit! You scared me.

Why, am I scary?

I told you, you cannot stay here.

Listen, my car's at the Chevron, the alternator's fucked, it's gonna take 'em overnight to fix it.

I gotta crash here tonight.

No. Oh, come on, Sheila.

I got nowhere else to go.

I just gotta sleep here, and in the morning pick it up, and that's it, and then I'm outta here.

With my fuckin' Chevron card? No, uh-uh, give it back.

Oh, come on, Sheila.

I'll make some fuckin' short ribs.

Come on, baby. We'll have a nice night.

One last night.

It's not gonna kill ya.

Hey, love birds, did my friend, Hannah, call here asking about the homework assignment with the cupcakes?

I have no idea.

She did, and you heard her, didn't you?

And you just erased it.

I didn't hear nothin' about no cupcakes!

Just go upstairs and call Hannah, honey.

So obnoxious! We'll have a nice night.

We're gonna eat them short ribs.

And then I'm gonna eat your booty, baby.

Don't be nasty.

Go get cleaned up, I'll cook dinner, but this is it, okay?

Tonight is the end.

Okay, scout's honor.

Get the fuck in here! Get the fuck in here!

Get the fuck in here now!

What the fuck do I use my computer for?

Huh? I do three things.

Do my spreadsheets for church.

I do my taxes. And I answer emails.

You know what I don't use my computer for?


Uh-huh, you're gettin' the fuck out now!

I got nowhere to go. That's not my problem.

I got a suitcase full of guns. What am I gonna fuckin' do?

Carjack some old guy like some nigger from the projects?

Not my problem! Give me my Chevron card back.

Give me my Chevron card back now!

I can't do that, Sheila. Get the fuck out, you fuckin' loser!

Pervert! You drug addict fuckin' pervert!

I've got a daughter in the house! You're a fuckin' loser!

Get the fuck out! Hey, Sheila.

You feel like you got problems?

Your problems are over now, Sheila.

What? No!

No, please, get away! Stop!

No, no, no!

No, no, please, don't hurt me! Stop, don't hurt me!

Don't hurt me! Stop!

Okay, as far as I'm concerned, we are never going to collaborate on making a really cool, really original cupcakes ever again.

There was me, Troy.

There was Mad Dog.

And there was Diesel.

See, people pretty much can't stand Mad Dog, and I get it, I do.

But what you gotta understand is, I know this guy in a very particular way.


I barely knew Mad Dog, but... he knew my parole was coming up and he took this fall for me.

He just did it, like that.

And so, somebody like that? You owe a lifetime.

Oh, Mama.

No, seriously, the smoke.

And you know what?

It worked.

Felt like these huge arms, felt like your mom givin' you the biggest hug ever.

Oh, man, the way I slept that night.

I got news for ya, Dog.

Havin' somebody blow smoke in your mouth is like...

Diesel is just a guy, you know.

I learned a lot from him.

I didn't go outta my way to fuck with people, which is more than I can say for Diesel.

Look, I'm just sayin', this guy's a problem.

Been a long-time problem.

For a guy who comes out with felony strikes, a loan collection group is not a bad job.

Not a great job, but Diesel dug it.


You have to understand, Diesel is a big lug nut looking dude, but he's very bright.

In another universe, this guy could've been a lawyer from Stanford or something.

Unfortunately, we're not in that universe.

There's always something they use.

Your parole officer, your counseling.

Say cheese.

This asshole cop I knew planted 28 grams of coke on me.

An ounce, not a lot, but it was packaged for sale, which is the part that fucks you.

Bail is denied.

Mom's had a double mastectomy and was on her way out when...

That was that. We all had our stints.

Once you were in, stayin' out is all but impossible.

And so, with the drug beef piled up on top of the attempted violent escape, it was a five to 15 year hit.

We all did our piece at different times, and I was the last to come out, so these chaps decided to throw me a welcome home party.

You know what's funny in there?

What you know that's out here and what you don't know, like Facebook, come on.

We were fuckin' Facebook friends before there was a Facebook.

But the red fucking jeans that hug the Element's leg, I had no clue.

Get the fuck outta my business.

Should I take care of this guy for you?

Where are you goin'?

I'm gonna kill this fucker right now! I'm gonna fuckin' kill him!

Stop that!

We're in this together.

We go through that door together, we come out together, and anything other than that, you're a piece of shit.

You just fuckin' got out, man.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's all cool, brother.

Didn't mean anything. Tight, tight, tight.

I'm so lost.

Just move with the music, man.

I... I knew all them little rappers, you know, them little teen rappers and chicas.

The niggers in there would go off about 'em, right?

Little Romeo and little this and that, right?

But I didn't know who Taylor Swift was.

Who the fuck is she?

I never heard of that bitch ever. The fuck do you know, man?

You didn't even know we invaded Egypt.

Iraq. Same fuckin' thing.

Goddamn right I didn't.

I didn't even fuckin' know where it was.

Still don't.

I gotta tell ya, man. I appreciate the threads.

Well, shit, I'm not gonna have you comin' out here lookin' like Johnny Joe.

What time are we meetin' Joey? Not for, like, two hours.

And we're close.

Yo, Madeline.

That French whore I was tellin' ya about, just got off the chain.

Hey, I'm Madeline.

You mind if I grab a Red Bull Bloody before we go up?

Oh, God, that's sounds horrible.

No, seriously, that just sounds disgusting.

Why don't you just get a regular Bloody and you can fall asleep on me. I can take it.

Not be the first time. No, it would not.

Have 'em send it upstairs. Let's go.

What's that say?

It's time to grate it in the grinder.

So, you been out of town for a long time?

Pretty long.

That's nice.

You're actually really fuckin' hot, you know?

Well, you're a pretty cute kid yourself.

It's gonna be 1,500.

Oh, yeah, they took care of that.

No, they didn't.

I'm very sure they did.

Dude, go down, go ask the manager.

I promise you, they didn't.

Once you've had money, you're never 100 percent sure who your friends are.

When I was away, there was always money on the outside for Mad Dog and Diesel if, you know, his mom needed an eye operation, shit like that.

They always knew it was there, and God bless their little hearts, right?

But it colors shit a bit.

It was my job to take care of the crew.

I had the connections to get everybody paid, so I rejoined reality by going to meet an old buddy from Marion.

El Grecco, the Greek.

Never understood why people called him that, but this guy had the contacts and the inside info to make dreams come true.

Good to see ya again.

Here, count it.

Come on, man, I don't need to.

What is it? It's $5,000.

You can pay me back later. You don't even have to thank me.

Just don't go wastin' it on those other fools.

So what's the gig? The gig?

Uh, it's a friend of mine. Armenian dude.

Former friend, actually.

Used to be a deputy DA prosecuting drug cases.

So he got sick of watching himself go poor while his clients went rich, so he switched sides, buys himself a big ole house in Brantlow, got a little puss on the side.

He's a squirrely guy, but now he has a problem.

He needs some money the wife don't know about.

So, get this, he's setting up his former clients for rip-offs.

You'd like him, he's your kind of guy, Troy.

Who is the client?

That'd be a monkey out of East Cleveland, calls himself Moon Man.

They used to call him Balloon Head till he got so much money that now they just call him Guard.

He likes to play the fool.

He says to my friend, the Armenian, he says, "Hey, Mr. Cracker."

He talks like that, says, "Mr. Cracker, if you're so smart and I'm so dumb, why I got $5,000,000 and you workin' for me?"

He buys himself a house up in Rocky River.

Big ole gaudy thing, and it needs renovatin'.

You know that part of Cleveland?

Dude, I know all of C-town, better than anybody.

He's got a 300-pound fool he calls a bouncer.

He likes to drive a Beamer seven.

But not in the hood.

So he's got four, five little junker cars.

You know, switch 'em one place, one or the other, you know how they do that. Oh, yeah.

But, this is where you come in, he don't keep anything worth shit up at the Rocky River house, so you gotta find where he keeps his stash.

Get us some cop uniforms?

I can help with that, yeah.

Gonna need three. So who you got?

You got Diesel... Yeah, and I've got...

No, no!

Not... Not... Not Mad Dog.

No, no, really? Shit!

Bro, he loves me.

Like the old fudge puncher said, a man kills the thing he loves.

You keep him away from me.

Those paranoid types make me scared.

These hood rats, man.

I think they've been watchin' too much Black Entertainment Television or somethin'.

'Cause they all have these little things they do.

Like they saw in a gangster rap video or some shit.

Like fuck you, who gives a shit?

So I guess we just stake out his house, right?

You know, just park nearby and...

just sweat it out, right?

That's all ya can do, 'cause what are ya gonna do?

That's him.

Are you serious? That's the guy.

There goes the suspension.

Chris don't do shit but lay around all day, eatin' fuckin' fingers, watchin' that Housewives shit.

Man, when we first started out she had a gorgeous body.

You remember that? Mm-hmm.

Man, it was thick but it was like Beyoncé thick, where there's a shape to it.

Now she just got this big ol' fat ass.

She always bustin' my balls whenever I'm out with the bitch.

I mean, 90 percent of the time, the shit be about business.

This is the type of business where you're gonna meet a bitch like that.

Bitch can never be proud of me either.

Hey, man, I could win a goddamn Grammy, and she would act like it ain't shit, man.

What the fuck is...

Same shit, man. Couple of pigs wanna roust a nigga.

We clean, though, right? 'Cept for the piece.

All right, cool, cool. Just turn right here.

Make sure you keep your hands up, all right?

Now they be scared, but they be dangerous.

You never wanna give a cop the opportunity to shoot a nigga, all right?

They got a license to kill brothers nowadays.

Driver's license.

Sir, do you have some ID?

Me? Nah, I ain't got no ID.

Supreme Court say I don't need to carry none around.

Sir, can I see your ID?

You're not listening. Said I ain't got that.

I ain't... I don't really supposed to have one, but...


I ain't sweatin' it, don't even sweat it, man.

This is bullshit. Yeah.

Run these through R and I.

Yeah, man, see about Evie. Get off her fat ass for a minute.

We gotta figure this shit out, though.

Damn sure.

Step out of the car, please. What?

Please, step outta the car.

Why don't you leave them alone?

What for?

Step outta the car, face the car, put your hands behind your head.

What's all this for, man?

Face the car, put your hands behind your head.

I ain't even did nothin', man.

Well, computer says you have some outstanding traffic warrants.

Oh, that's bullshit!

Hey, hey, call Evie, man, tell her to come bail me out this motherfucker.

Hey, old rich nigga. You done shoulda paid your tickets!

Shut your old ass up.

All right, shut the fuck up and get in the car.

Evie can't do nothin' for you now, man.

Show's over.

Hey, man.

What the fuck is this, man? This ain't the way to the substation.

Hey, man, where the fuck we at?

Fuck! What the fuck are you doin'?

Listen to all the bitch comin' out of him at once.

We're goin' to that stash of yours.

You ain't even gotta snitch nobody out.

We're gonna walk you up to the door, and you're gonna tell the dude to open up.

If he opens up, cool.

If not, I'm gonna blow your backbone outta your belly, period. You copy?

Look, man, I don't know what... Oh, fuck!

Motherfucker, you got blood on my Versace!

Oh, yeah, I feel you. Goddamn it!


Let me... Let me clean you up.

Now listen!

You can always get more coke and more money, but you've only got one life, so don't think you can fake me out on this because I will kill you.

Let's get this done.

Get the fuck outta the car.

Get the fuck out.

Hey, this ain't my trap house, man.

Lower your voice, you know it is. Keep walkin'.

Y'all see this shit, right?

Shut up.

Tell him to open up. Hey!

Hey, dude, it's me. Open the door.

Tell him we won't bust him if he opens up.

He ain't gonna believe that shit.

Just humor me, tell him anyway.

He said he wasn't gonna bust you if you open the door.

What the fuck did you bring them by here for then, nigga?

Motherfucker, I didn't bring 'em here, they already knew where we was at.

Hey, Deuce. What?

We're gonna let you go if you don't make us blow a hole in this door.

Don't go doin' that now. He's talkin' shit, man.

Let the brother go! Better get him to open up.

Come on, Deuce, man, open the fuckin' door!


All right, man, but y'all better not be on no bullshit.

In you go, good to go. Come on, Dis, door!

Do you want my badge? Get behind this shit.

Fuck, man!

Hey, bro, look at this.

This ain't no cop car. Fuck, no, it ain't.


Dog! Fuck is so funny?

Dog. Huh?

Don't kill anybody unless you have to.

Right. What the fuck are you laughin' at? Oh, y'all in trouble, man.

Oh, yeah?

Freeze on that.

You're dead, motherf...

Get movin'! Get up, bro!

What did I say? Where is it?

It's upstairs! I said it was upstairs!

Let me waste a couple. Don't!

You tryin' to fake me out? No, I promise!

I'm not fuckin' you around.

So you're not lying? I'm not fuckin' lying.

You're not lying? No!

What I'd say? No.

Tryin' to fake me out on this?

No! Dis, Dis, Dis! Check it out.

Check it out.

That it? The fuck?

Where's the fuckin' money?

I see the blow, where's the money? Ain't no money.

I said, where's the money?

Look, you'll have to kill this nigga

'cause there ain't no motherfuckin' money here, and that's that, fuck!

Let's kill this lyin' cocksucker!


Some asshole's got a gun out there.

Get down on the floor, face down, face down.

Turn out the light.

Motherfucker. You ready?

Go! Go.

Fuck you!

Get the fuck outta here, that's right!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

So I asked for $10,000, we settled at nine.

I spent $300 to get us broads, and I got you... I got you a little extra...



Moon Man!

All right, guys, let's meet tomorrow afternoon, two o'clock, Kosar's.

Try to show up, even if you're fucked up, so I know you're not dead.




This fuckin' dude's a cock.

Which dude? Over there.

I really like my scotch neat and this fuckin' bozo insists that I take it on the rocks.

Why is that?

Because the management has determined that when people drink drinks without ice, they become drunk too quickly.

So I kind of laugh at this.

And he poisons my drink with his two fat fucking ice cubes.

Well, that's interesting.

Check it out.

That's the spa menu.

You can have the body rejuvenation for 180 bucks.

"Rhythmic hydrobath plus neck massage."

"Creamy body scrub with hand-dredged organic sea salts."

Thank you. There he is again.

Push those ice cubes in his face.


Yeah, show that fucker you mean business.


That wouldn't be a good choice.

For me.

You're a big dude, ain't ya?

Go ahead.

Damn, dude.

You're fuckin' made of rock.

Wanna bounce?


Let's do this.

Have you ever been to Nice?

No, what's that? It's in France.

It's a beach town.

I guess you could call it like... Like a resort spot.

Let's get some jams up in here.

Yeah, my mom and dad took me there when I was a little kid.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I didn't go anywhere when I was a kid.

Actually, my mom and dad took me to Niagara Falls once.

It's the most incredible thing because when you're flying in, it's like this blue sky, and then the water's so blue.

Bluer than your eyes blue.

And the two reflect each other and bounce off the white of the plane.

I wanna go back there.

I'll be, uh, makin' some money in the next couple of months.

Did you wanna go there with me?

Mm, maybe.

We'll stay in a bed and breakfast, get up, have coffee and a cigarette.

You know, you're a real cutie-patootie.

Thanks. Just a cutie-patootie.

You were sayin'. You got that classic movie star look like Marlene Dietrich.

I could be your Bogart, you can be my Dietrich.

You like those classic movie stars from the '30s, like Cagney, Bogart, Edward G?

I like those guys. Uh-huh, me, too.

Okay, so if you want me to go downtown, it's an extra 300 bucks.

But I'll make it worth your while, 'cause I know how to do it right.

Can I just ask you one thing? Sure.

Would you be interested in going to Nice with me, maybe get away from all this for a little while?

Yeah, where is Nice again?

In fucking France.

Yeah, I don't know, uh, I still gotta get my head shots taken, and then there's this guy, Robert.

Oh, the gay guy I was telling you about, he's my roommate, and when he gets back, he's gonna help me edit my album.

So, sorry, baby, but... how about some extra TLC for $300?

Have you ever heard of a gemstone called Black Tourmaline?

No. It's very beautiful.

It's a pitch-black gemstone and it casts negative energy away.

Why you have to make such problem of it, huh?

Just relax, let it come.

I know that.

I know how to make myself cum.

Just go easy. I know.

This take forever.

I know.

The fuck?

Get the fuck outta here, go on! Get the fuck outta here!

Go on, get the fuck out before I paint the wall with ya!

Get out!

You like this guy?

I don't know him.

I'm gonna get some cashews outta the meat locker in here.

Hey, go right ahead.

Throw me one of the Snickers bars while you're down there.

Empty calories.


It's been a while. Mm, almonds.

You know it takes 1.1 gallons of water to grown an almond?

Fuckin' crazy.

So you don't know Elliott Smith?


He had a bunch of knife wounds to the heart.

They said it was self-inflicted, but I never believed it.

Yeah, that don't add up.

Why do you say?

Well, it's not impossible.

It's just if you wanna die, you're gonna sit there and hack away at your chest?

No, you're gonna take a gun.

If you're afraid of that, you eat a bunch of pills or do a fat shot of heroin.

Yeah, exactly. Plus his girlfriend was a bitch and she envied him 'cause he was, like, the only acoustic guy who penetrated the Seattle scene.

And this was the time with Nirvana and Alice In Chains and whatnot.

So what kind of music you like?

I don't.

Don't like any?


I was around a lot of rap music for a while.

I think it made me hate all music, period.


So, like...

where do you like to go?

What do you mean?

I mean, I'm just saying, you said you don't really like Cleveland, so, like, where do you like to go hang out where you, like, have fun?

I don't hang out to have fun.

All right, I mean, like... what are your friends like?

Yeah, I don't have fuckin' friends. I mean, what the fuck is this?


The 20 fuckin' questions.

I mean, you know what's up. Excuse me?

You know, I mean...

You knew I was in prison.

Uh, no, you didn't tell me that.

Yeah, but you fuckin' knew from when we were in the bar.

And I said it'd be a bad move for me to hit the fuckin' bartender.

I said, "It would be a bad choice for me."

And you had this fuckin' look in your eye like, "Yeah, I know what the fuck you're talkin' about, dude."

No, I didn't, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

The motherfuck you don't!


Hey, hey, wait a minute, hold up, hold up.

Jill. I gotta go.

Jill, Jill. I gotta go.

Look, look, look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please take your hand off of me.

All right, hey.

Look, I'm just upset.

I'm on edge, I've been gone for long.

People always ask me, "Do you know this, do you know that?"

The truth of the fuckin' matter is I don't know fuckin' anything.

I been locked up in a fuckin' garbage can for years.

No, I... I understand that, I get that.

Look, look, look, I don't wanna seem crazy.

No, I didn't say you were crazy.

Listen, please.

I'm not a violent person.

No, I understand that, I know. I just... I don't feel safe right now.

And I don't feel safe and I have to leave now.

Let's do this again real soon.

Well, hey, I enjoyed the shit out of certain things.

I wanna just honestly express my gratitude to you, Troy, for hookin' this little adventure up.

Oh, boy, the butterin' up's underway to hit you up to loan him some money to buy somethin', Troy.

I'm just sayin' I'm thankful.

I bought that girl a Black Tourmaline bracelet, and now that shit's on eBay.

I told ya not to fall in love.

A fucking plus.

I'm gonna get us some real work, gents.

We need a big job, a grown-up job.

Let's do that. All right.

You know what I fuckin' love? Check it out.

You cats not freakin' out about this?

I been out longer than you guys and I'm still freakin' out about it.

What? What is it? Carpeting.

You know how much bare feet, if you had that privilege in your cell, and they didn't notice you wasn't wearing your shower flip-flops in your downtime, all you felt was that cold concrete with boogers and jizz on it.

This is like... Dig it, man. Come on, man.

This is sweet. This is like...

Like... soft, shaved pussy.

You have been locked up a long time.

You know what I mean.

Nah, I'll get us a real good gig.

I'll get us such a good gig, take your tits off!

So lemme ask you something.

Do you think I look like Humphrey Bogart?


Well, you see, that's interesting, because I'm a big film buff.

Bogart was the best, the king.

When I was in the joint, there was a movie producer who was in there with me, and I... I says to him, I says, "Do you think I look like Humphrey Bogart?"

And he says, "Well, yeah, ya do, but a stretched-out version of him."

That's a fantastic story. So where are your boys?

I don't bring 'em to stuff like this.

No? Nah, they just know what they need to know.


Shall we order a bottle of wine?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds good.

So, Grecco tells me you're a heavy guy.

I'm not referring to your weight.

I mean that, apparently, you are a gentleman of some power and influence.

Yeah, well, I try my best. It is a shitty economy out there, so we all gotta work overtime all the time.

I heard that.

Right. What's good?

Oh, they have... Get the rare steak with the cottage fries, that's the only thing.

You do the honors? Yeah.

So this guy, Mike Brennan, this creep, this deadbeat that owes me a lot of money, the way I see it, he is so fucked up, he ain't never gonna be able to get it back on his own.

So he needs some incentivizing to go out, to get up.

A real scumbag.

Yeah, he's one of those fuck-you-come-and-get-it guys.

Probably all hopped up on blow, the way he's actin'.

So the bottom line is, Chepe has been patient.

Yes, I have. Time's up.

I need to get four mil from him.

Okay. Good.

He's got a one-year-old out in the Heights.

I need you to snatch him.

Kidnapping. I don't dig the sound of this.

Plus, there hasn't been an unsolved kidnapping-for-ransom in the United States in a long time.

I mean, granted, this was different, 'cause ain't nobody gonna report this one.

Okay, so how would this work?

It'll work because I guarantee you a half a million, plus half of whatever Brennan pays, if he pays at all.

I don't know, man, nabbin' a kid is a dangerous business.

People don't look too kindly on it. All right, take it easy.

I ain't into abusin' children, you dig?

Kid's still a baby, he ain't ever gonna know.

If he was four or somethin', I'd never be doin' that.

He wouldn't do that.

Ain't nobody gonna be home.

Just the girlfriend, the nanny, and the baby.

It'll go quick, Troy.

Look, what if I give you 500,000 plus a $250,000 bump?

Hey, man, you keep throwin' around numbers like 500,000 here, 250,000 there, pretty soon, we'll be talkin' about real money.

Real money. Real money.

You a wine connoisseur, Mr. Chepe?

Oh, yes, of course.

Let's try a burgundy, man, it brings out...


You know I'm down for whatever.

Dog! Come on, let's grab him.

Dog, Dog.

Not to be rude, but can you give the old man a break?

It's important.

I'll be back.

You can do a couple of those. I'll be back.

Fall in love? Sure enough.

She really gets me going, I tell ya.

She's somethin', but I can't really figure out what she is.

I mean... She looks Puerto Rican.

Well, she doesn't taste Puerto Rican, I'll tell ya, she's somethin' else, man.

I don't know, she said somethin' like she's an Indian, or somethin' like that, you know.

All right, this is the game plan.

The way I see it, we can keep doin' this nickel and dime shit, maybe get away with a bit of it, then eventually get caught or clipped.

I don't see that your number don't come up forever.

Or Grecco has a big job for us, as in $750,000.

Ooh. Shit!

It's a fucking baby-napping. That don't sound too good.

It's not, and I'm not sayin' it is.

But my feeling is, where we stand right now, the small job thing isn't gonna cut it.

I'm talking $500,000 with a $250,000 kicker, so that's $250,000 for each of us.

Now we can do this, and my vote is that we should do this because this is no kind of life.

Fuck no, 100 percent not.

I mean, if it came down to it, I would literally eat a gun before the cops would pinch me again.

I'm tellin' ya, I can't do it.

I got two strikes. Well, we all have two strikes so I think we are agreed that that cannot happen.

Absolutely. I think we all understand that there's no way we're gonna get a foot in the straight world without some serious dough with which to start businesses with, and we aren't gonna get that by being some $10-an-hour monkey in a job we got from our probation officer or an outreach program or what have you. Aw, shit, you can't live off that shit.

So this seems to be the play.

But I just wanna say this, and I'm not tryin' to be melodramatic.

I am looking out for you.

I want us all to agree, with this particular gig, there are only two options.

Option one is total victory, and that is what I am planning on.

But, failing that... we are gonna go down.

We are not going to get clipped, and one guy gives up the other... No.

It's gotta be samurai style.

Jackie Chan.

No, what he's sayin' is, if we get in a spot where we're gonna get pinched, we go down together.




Fuckin' thing that you always hear about.

Where there's a gig, and there's a lot of money at the end, you run away to Hawaii.

That shit never, ever works out. Does it?

I think it does sometimes.

You just don't know about it 'cause they run off to Hawaii and you don't ever hear from 'em again.

Why is that funny?

Diesel, I understand what you're saying, but we've painted ourselves into a corner, and now, we have to paint ourselves out.

It's death or victory, and it pretty goddamn well better be victory.

A lot of people are gonna be really pissed.

It's gonna be a victory.

That's a fuckin' house there.

How much you think that's worth?

Oh, five, ten million?


You should know, you come from money, huh, Troy?

That was a long time ago.

It's me, doll, I'm back.

No, Mike Brennan.

No, no, I'm goin' back to my house.

No, meet up there, it's much more boring.

Yeah, it's my baby mama, I'm gonna surprise her.

Yeah, she's been bringin' her boyfriend over to the house.

How 'bout I just send you a cellphone video of me beatin' his fuckin' ass?

Okay, Mamita, you like that?

Okay, I love you, sweetheart.

You know, none of these Wall Street motherfuckers have been to prison.

But I know a guy, my wife's cousin...

Oh, that guy with the fucking donut tire thing?

A fuckin' joke. This is so fucked up. Listen.

Dude stole this spare donut tire off the back of some dude's jeep... got... Life.

Life without the possibility of parole.

That's fucked up, man.

How's the gas?

Why? We good?

Ya ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. I'm always ready.

You guys are so fucked.

Bad Dog!

No! Shut the fuck up.

Stay still, think about it all.

Can you shut this baby up?

No, you know how.

Where's the thing you put in the fucking baby's mouth?

What's it called? Uh, dick?

No. Here it is. Here we go.

All right, you know what? You know what?

You just take him, take him.

Take the baby, take the fucking baby.

Okay, who was that guy? I don't know.

Was he a cop? I don't know.

Get his wallet, get his fuckin' wallet.

You get his fuckin' wallet. What's the matter with you?

I don't like this motherfucker tellin' me what to do.

Dude, get his wallet. Let's find out who he is.

Take the baby downstairs, he annoys me.

Dog, would you please just keep an eye on her.

Just... Just step over it. Step over...

What the fuck?

Jose Vasquez?

Jose Vasquez. Who the fuck is Jose Vasquez?

I have no fuckin' idea.

All I know is this fuckin' chick can identify all of us.

We've gotta waste her. Let me think about it.

We're gonna need somethin' to wrap him in.

The baby? No, the body.

Come on.

You got his keys? Yeah, I got 'em.

Yo, Troy.

You guys take off, I'll wait for the mom.

There is no baby seat. Never mind about that, just get in.

You all right? Yes.

Baby seat. Just keep the baby down real low.

We should've thought about that.

Yeah, I know. All right, guys, get goin'. Call me when you get there.

Carmen, I was gonna get you the face cream...

It's all right, your baby's fine. He's perfectly safe.


We've got your kid, now calm down. He's all right.

He's just a little baby. I know.

He didn't, doesn't... I know that.

Now listen to me.

Hey, hey! Carmen!


You don't wanna go up there. Why?

Because your husband had one of his thugs watchin' you, and he got shot.

There's a dead guy in our house?

No, but there's some very messy shit up there.

It's gonna be my ass... Shut up!

Shut the fuck up, man! What don't you understand?

Now, do you know how to get in touch with Mike, the father?

I have a number for him in Canton.

Okay, good. Canton is good, that's a start.

Now I need ya to call him, tell him his kid's collateral on money he owes an old friend from prison, and as soon as he pays it, he gets the kid back, okay?



I don't have time for this shit.

All right, did you get your phone charged?

Yes. Okay, good, 'cause we're gonna call you in a little bit, so keep it charged.

If you need to, you can plug in that charger over there.

Now we're gonna call you.

We're gonna give you the combination to that lock, and then you can let yourself out.

Do you understand what I'm saying?


Here's a pen so you can write down the combination.

And if we don't call right away, don't panic, don't do anything, don't call anybody, 'cause we got people outside, ya see?

And they're gonna get very upset if they see anything weird or they hear anything weird.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yep. Yes.

Oh, you like that, huh? All right.

This will all be over with very soon.

Come here, gimme a big bear hug, come here.

Come on, come on, there you go. No!

All right, you'll be fine, baby. All right, gentlemen, let's go.

I gotta call Grecco, I gotta buy a disposable phone and call him.

What? I know, that's how he wants me to do this.

I'm tellin' ya, man, all these people coverin' themselves.

And they fuck up the most basic shit.

Dog, you got a place to put the body, right?

Yeah, I got a good place on the way towards Toledo.

That's pretty fuckin' far, man.

No, no, it's like two hours, two and a half tops.

All right, I'll go call Grecco.

Find out where and when he wants us to pick up the dough.

It's me. Yeah.

All right, we've got the kid, we've got the nanny, it's all good.

Now the wife didn't show up, so if you can get me a contact on Brennan, I'll arrange for the ransom myself.

I don't think so.

What do you mean?

Did you guys happen to encounter a problem at that house?

We did in fact, yes. Uh-huh.

I thought maybe you did, 'cause that Brennan guy hasn't shown up for anything.

Nobody's heard from him, he's disappeared.

No, we didn't deal with Brennan.

There was a soldier in there, some Mexican guy.

That was Brennan. I don't follow.

He has, like, a Mexican mom, an Irish dad, and he's a totally Latin-lookin' dude, so that was Brennan.

You shot Brennan.

No, because on his ID, it said Joe Vasquez.

Look, Grecco, I'm not... I'm not sure about this, okay?

Well, I'm sure about it.

I'm 100 percent fucking sure about it.

You shot the guy what was the guy that was supposed to pay the ransom money.

So... So what's what? I mean, what are we gonna do here?

I don't know.

I mean, Chepe's not gonna be happy about Brennan gettin' whacked.

But, on the other hand, you didn't try to cheat him so he'll get over it, I hope. I hope.

I mean, he has to understand that there's a certain likelihood that...

He don't have to understand shit. He doesn't understand shit.

He's a stubborn fucking pig-headed beaner.

But I will try to cool him off, Troy.

All right, I mean, look, we're almost outta gas here. What's that supposed to mean?

It means we're out of money.

We were counting on this to... To work out.

Everyone's down to their last nickel right now, so...

All right, uh, meet me in the morning.

Nine, uh, make it ten..., uh, at Captain Taco's.

By the bagel place. Yeah, exactly.

I'll get ya some dough and we'll see what we're gonna do about Chepe.

I mean, he should cool off eventually...

I hope.

All right, I'll see ya tomorrow at ten.

By the bagel place. Okay, peace.

Man, would you stop bustin' my balls about this shit?

We run in, run out, we'll be outta there in two minutes.

Why don't you just fuckin' humor me?

Are you fuckin' kidding me with this shit?

This fuckin' joke was already startin' to stink.

I do not have time for this shit. Dude, everyone's got their own form of preparation, all right?

Everyone has their own fucked-upness.

Everybody self-medicates.

Everybody has their own damage and malfunction and whatnot.

And mine ain't any worse than yours is, and I ain't in any less in control than you are so... Okay.

Just get the fuck out of the fucking car!

All right, okay, okay!

Fuck! Fuck!

You better not be dickin' with me.

Oh, fuck.

Gimme five minutes, just five minutes to get my groove on, and then we're outta here.

Yup. PS, you know that place we're goin', it's like totally close, so it won't be a problem.

You said it was towards Toledo.

It's real close.

Listen, I wanna tell ya somethin'.

And it's like a real cone of silence. Just between you and me, right?

Dog. It goes no further.

I got no one to tell.

Yeah, well, I... I want you to promise me that you won't get mad at me before I say it.

I'm not shittin', man, this is serious.

It's personal, it's personal to me.

It's not business.

Okay, shoot.

I know you don't like me. Ah, Jesus, man.

No, it's okay, I know you don't like me, and a lot of times I don't like me either.

But what I wanted to tell ya is, I see the relationship you have with Troy, and how you handle things, and I just want ya to know that I really admire it.

Just try to be businesslike, man.

No, fuck that, I see you got a good thing goin'.

You... You just got, like... You got ESP.

You just get in that zone, and I admire it.

And, I guess what I'm sayin' is...

I always wanted to be your friend.

Come on, Dog, you're my friend. No, no, no, like a true friend.

Like you are with Troy, a real friend, where there's mutual respect.

Oh, man.

You know you gotta earn that.

I understand. No, I get that. I respect that, absolute, but, you know, it's just there's this thing that I wanna tell ya.

I'm dyin' to tell ya, but...

It's, like, the worst thing in the world.

The worst thing in the world. All right, all right, all right.

Just finish this, man.

Right, okay. No problem.


We're goin'.

What is it, Dog?


What is it, Dog?

I mean, with what we've been through, how fuckin' bad could it be, seriously?

Whatever it is, let's get it on the fuckin' table right now.

I appreciate that, man.

I mean, you know, I try to be better than I've been.

You know, I've tried to pray on it...

I know that I'm responsible for myself and stuff, but, you know, that... It's fuckin' Sheila, man.

I mean, she's just one of those people that knows.

You know, she just...

You know, people that know how to push your buttons and shit, and then there's special people that just know, they just fuckin' know how to take ya to that place where you're fuckin' way over the line, and she just does that, man, and it's like she... She wants the worst thing to happen.

Well, she took it to that place, and that was it.

What about the kid?

And the kid, the kid too, the fucking kid.

That kid, I can't stand it.

Jesus Christ, are you kiddin' me, with a mother like that?

You're not gonna judge me?


I mean, I... I looked to you to be a friend.

I mean, to be a friend, you know, what accepts ya, 'cause...

See, that's all I ever wanted, was unconditional love... Oh, God, I fucked this shit up!

Look, look, look, man, I understand.

Can I just ask you one thing, a logistical thing?

Is this really far out fuckin' place that we're goin', is this where you dumped Sheila and the kid?

I wanted to put that Mexican dude here so I could put a period on that part of my life, man.

You know what I mean?

I wanna make a strong action and fuckin' change some things so I could be the person that I know I could be.


You'll help me do it, yeah? Yeah.

You'll fuckin' help me untangle my life and make myself a person that doesn't make me fuckin' wanna throw up every time I pass a mirror?

Listen, Dog, you are a fuckin' pain in the ass.

You don't know when to shut up. You don't know when to listen.

And you have absolutely no idea how to fuckin' control your emotions.

That said, never lied. No.

You never fucked me over. No.

In fact, I don't think you've ever really fucked up on a job.

So if you reach out to me and you say that you genuinely want my help, that you're ready to glue your fuckin' life back together, there's absolutely no way I can fuckin' say no to that.


Yeah, fuck yeah, deal.

I was 16 when I signed up.

Semper paratus, always ready.

Didn't work out.

Somethin' about me not keepin' my foot locker locked.

So you know this place?

Yeah, it was shut down since I was maybe 25.

Just go to the left.

Over there? Yeah.

I got a key.

Tomorrow, clean slate.

End of all of this shit.

So can I just ask you, and I want you to be frank 'cause I really do respect you.

I mean, do you think people can change?

I mean, like, if your behavior's one way, that you can, like, alter it?

You got a spot? Yeah.

Like a hole? It's not a hole.

You'll see.

Set him down.

Where you put Sheila?

Yeah, and the kid.

Fuck me!

Let's just fuckin' dump him, man.

No, no, trust me, we gotta go up there and place him in.

You said absolutely nobody fucking comes here, man.

You're right, but in a billion in a chance that one does, we want that person to be invisible, like, stuck under, like, six or seven things.

In a couple of days, they're gonna be rottin' anyway, and then it's too late, but don't do 'em any favors.

Use your head. In here?

Yeah. Dude, seriously, you're gonna get fuckin' AIDS in here, man.

Aw, shit, bro, haven't you ever done sanitation?

It's a fuckin' fact in forensic science that things begin to rot, they're at their least toxic for you because they are structurally bent on their own self-destruction because, well, it's like an organism.

You know, when you do a bunch of yakkin', you watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta on CNN and shit.

Oh, you just make fun of him because he's a Hindu, but he's got a lot of good ideas.

They may not be mainstream ideas but...

Fuckin' stepped in some shit.

Oh, Dis, don't be such a fuckin' pussy.

It's just water, shake it off.

Set this fucker down.

VoilĂ .

Now when we get outta here, and we meet up with Troy and we split up our shit, before we split, I wanna have a sit-down with you, okay?


Okay? Okay.

Okay, help me put him in here.

So, I just wanna...

I wanna, you know, sit down, and I want you to give me five things, five character flaws that I can do a reboot on.

You know, a do-over on...

...amend my character flaws, as it were.

Like, you know, I mean, just sit down and really go with candor, whether it's my fuckin' mother's fault or my father's fault, it doesn't really matter.


Oh, God.

Oh, shit, fuck.

Oh, you know, it doesn't really make any difference because I'm willin' to alter those things because I believe in redemption, right?

And I'm willin' to do that.

I warned you, Dog.

It's tough?

Yeah, it's tough and it takes a lot of baby steps and goin' back and forward, and do over, yeah, absolute.

No more. Aw, Dis.

What you doing?

Oh, please. Shut the fuck up.

Oh, God, Dis.

Dis. No.


Hey, it's me.

Somethin' happened. What?

I'm comin' back alone.

So Dog is gone?


We were family.


Can't say as I'm surprised.

Well, there's something you need to know.

The dude that got clipped in the nursery was Brennan.

You're fucking kidding me, man. Not a bit.

Dog killed a million dollar goose?

Dead as a door nail. The guy I just dumped?

Very same.

Fuckin' Dog, Jesus Christ.

Well, Grecco still thinks he might be able to get us a couple of bucks out of this, but Chepe's gonna be pissed.

And I'm the one that brought the Dog into this.

And I'm the one that vouched for him.

I get it. So what are we gonna do?

You wanna try to meet with The Greek or you think he's gonna try some shit?

I don't know.

Look, we need money, and I said as much to him, and really can't picture Chepe and Grecco whackin' everybody in sight, but you never know.

I gotta get some stuff, man. Stop at the store, man.

Here you go, hon. Thanks.

Hey, guys.

Uh, a guy inside is carrying concealed.

Girls up front say he showed up in that red Jag over there.

He doin' anything? Well, not yet.

So? He's givin' off a bad vibe.

His jacket's all messed up.

Should we call it in? I'll take a look inside.

Run the plates.

I'll check it out.

ID, please.

What's the problem, officer?

Did you know your registration was a month out of date?

I was told once that there was like a four-week grace period.

Or, actually, maybe even six weeks.

Technically, it isn't any.

Is this your car? Yes, I just got it.

Can I see your driver's license, please?

Sure, have it right here.

That makes it easy.

Okie-doke, Mr. Klein.

Will you step out of the vehicle, please?

Why, am I under arrest?

We've had some shoplifting complaints.

Do you mind if I take a look inside your car?

What are you looking for?

Well, do you have any stolen merchandise?


Do you have any narcotics or a weapon?

No, I do not.

Well, what have you got to hide?

Not a thing.


Well, I'm a little cold. Do you mind if I just get my jacket?

Yeah, that... That wind really, really kicks up off of Lake Erie.


There's the other one!

Officer down, officer down!




Stop! Surprise.


Gotta be samurais, gotta be samurais.

Gotta be samurais, gotta be samurais, gotta be samurais.

Gotta be samurais, gotta be samurais, gotta be samurais, gotta be samurais.

How we doin' back there, Dorothy?

Can I get ya somethin'?

Chocolate milk, a cock to suck on?

You know what, Jack? That's enough.

But he does have a good point.

Not much of a tough guy now, are ya?

You like fuckin' shootin' cops?

Oh, you're a cute little animal.

Fuck it. Get this asshole out.

Smoke this bitch, Reg. Boom!

Lemme get one.

Go to work, Reg.

Let me get one, Reg.

I got one more in me, Reg! Do it!

I got one more now! Do it!

Hey, pussy, you had enough?


Reg, you think he's had enough?

Let's give him a ride.

I love it when you talk like that.

Up we go.

Strap his ass up.

There we go.

I am rock hard right now, sweetheart.

Take the wheel, Jack. Reggie wants to ride.

Woo! Woo!


In the aftermath of a bloody shootout outside Apple Supermarket, a police representative now confirms the deaths of Troy Cameron and Dieson Carson after an armed pursuit...

Pretty good, huh? Yeah, it was.

Now, get home.

Cute little place, too.

Charles, what is it? Get in the car.

You look like the sort of gent who might have a big giant pistol in the trunk or under the front seat.

It's under the front seat.

All right, I'll take that pistol.

And we'll head down the road.

Mind if I smoke?

Please, just take our money.

Leave us by the side of the road.

You can take the car.

I can't do that.

Why not? We won't say anything.

He knows we're gonna call the police the minute he gets away.

No, we are not.

Charlene, don't tell no lies.

The man know that's what we're gonna do.

So, what are you folk's name?

I'm Charles Wilson, this is Charlene Wilson.

The Reverend Charles Wilson. Uh-huh. Reverend, huh?

Where you folks goin' to?

It's where we're comin' from.

We've been visitin' in Cincinnati.

Went to visit my daughter's baby for the first time.

It was you.


On the TV, the shootout.

Yes, but it wasn't like they say. Well, how was it?

You ever been inside, Reverend? In the joint?

Yes, sir. Well, then you know.

Guy who has a past, guy whose made mistakes.

They say they forgive you, but they never do.

They're always lookin' at ya, tryin' to catch ya at something.

All we want... heck, all anybody wants, is justice.

I was explaining to the officer and she...

She panicked, she thought I was resisting.

Yeah, that's right, resisting, and my friend was just tryin' to save me.

Hey, wait a minute.

I know you know what's what.

Yeah, you understand how this goes.

And I can tell you're a good person, too.

You care about your wife.

Yeah, you're a good man. Well, all right, here's what.

We're real close.

I need to get dropped off. But I just wanna say one thing, one thing to put your mind at ease when we go, all right?

You're gonna make it outta this.

Your wife's gonna be safe, and you're gonna be fine.

And I promise you, the only person who's gonna go down outta this is gonna be me.

Just as long as you do as I say, which doesn't seem to be a problem.

It's no problem at all.

I figured not, so ease up. You'll be home before ya know it.

I give ya my word. My hand.

All right then. Troy.

Huh? Troy, that's my name.

I'm sorry, I can't... I can't do this anymore.

Hang on, I'll take the wheel, you folks sit in back.

You're not gonna try anything, are ya?

No, no, no, sir.

You know who you look like?

You sound like him, too.

Got any music?

Church music, spirituals.

I like spirituals.

Cassette's in the console.

Stay where you are.

Don't move, Mister!

Is there a problem, Officer?


I'm kinda lost with the Reverend and the Missus.

That's him!

Don't point that thing at us.

Justice. That was what I wanted.

Then I started thinking.

I didn't want justice.

I just wanted what I wanted, just like everyone, and the rest of it was verbiage.